keywatchesmovies
watch this idiot watch movies
i like movies and i like to overreact about movies.
72 posts
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Last Seen Blogs
luna-digitale-blog
Digital Moon
crzy4p3x
Crzy4P3x
shenikachavone
A LADY'S TOUCH BARBERSHOP AND UNISEX SALON
justonemun
Attention Freaks, It’s Me
sightcarereviewsby01
Sight Care Reviews
Video
youtube
if you’ve not seen home yet, you probably ought to see it
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oh my god my favorite part of this movie is when dmitri comes running out of nowhere and punches rasputin in the face
like dmitri has no idea who this crazy looking bastard is i mean sure he looks like rasputin but as far as he knows rasputin’s pretty dead
but this mofo just comes out of nowhere and punches the dude in the face
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for reals, the whole “rasputin/romanov curse” subplot is absolutely unnecessary
there’s already enough conflict in the form of “who am i where is my family will i ever find them etc etc”
and honestly come on rasputin just can’t catch a break throw the guy a bone goddamn
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it makes me so mad when an animated character has a really attractive voice and then you find out their voice actor is...not nearly as attractive
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everyone in this movie looks typically don bluth-esque and attractive enough
and then there’s this bastard
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anastasia (1997)
i didn’t start watching this movie with the intention of blogging about it
but i started watching it and i’m like “..wait i have questions”
posts will be tagged #anastasia
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after hours: inception
so instead of watching an entire movie and roasting it when really all i want to do is talk about one specific point, i’ve decided to add a whole new feature to my blog
after hours, yaaaay
which is basically just going to be a single post about literally anything movie related; posts will be tagged as both #afterhours and whatever movie i’m talking about
so inception
remember that movie that everyone made a huge deal about the ending, how the whole world was split into two very distinct camps, the “he’s still dreaming” camp and the “he is not dreaming” camp and that was the only discussion, the big deal was “is he or is he not dreaming”?
well i’m here to tell you all that you are wrong. all of you. “how can that be,” you’re thinking, “obviously he either is or isn’t dreaming so /somebody/ has to be right” but the problem here is that is doesn’t matter if he’s dreaming or not. he’s obviously not dreaming, but that’s not the part you need to be concerned about.
throughout the whole movie, the big topic of discussion is whether or not you can “force” inception, in layman’s terms, is it possible to put an idea in someone’s head without them realizing that you put it there, to make them think that it was their own idea? “of course not”, you scoff. “ i am too clever for that sort of thing.”
are you?
we find out about halfway through the film that totems are a big deal when it comes to making sure you’re not dreaming, but they can just as easily be turned against you. leo did exactly that to his wife; she relied on her top to tell her she wasn’t dreaming, so he broke into her subconscious mind and left the top eternally spinning, and as we all know, if the top doesn’t fall over, you’re dreaming.
so at the end of the movie, leo takes out his top and gives her a good whirl, because his entire life has devolved to an intense bout of paranoia. we see him earlier in the film approximately .2 seconds from putting a bullet in his head, all depending on what that top decides to do. but then, he decides “to hell with it” and walks away to see his children, while the camera instead remains on the top and cuts to black as it starts to wobble, thus unleashing an internet shitstorm the likes of which haven’t been seen since the “who shot JR” debacle.
did it fall? did it not fall? is he dreaming? is he not?
are those not the questions asked by someone who has been successfully inception-ed?
leo is very clearly awake. there’s no doubting that. other theorists have pointed out that leo’s totem may not even have been the top--it was his wedding ring, which is only seen on his hand during his dreams, and conveniently missing from his hand in the final scene. there’s not even an ounce of evidence to suggest that he /is/ dreaming. ask yourself, if he hadn’t spun the top, and the camera hadn’t cut to black, would you even have considered that he was still dreaming?
of course not--because the idea that his world is not as it seems has already been implanted in your head.
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WAIT I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT THE PRESIDENT’S FLEET OF BLACK CARS COULD FLY LOL
and then nobody notices this secret service agent just about fall off a rock and die
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this fight between donnagan and gregorio on the beach is everything the fight at the end of mission: impossible ii should have been
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IT TOOK THEM YEARS TO FIND THE TRANSMOOKER
THE ISLAND LITERALLY ONLY HAS TWO FEATURES, VOLCANO AND GIANT PILLAR THING AND THEY SEARCHED NEITHER WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE TIME
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how does that work, mixing an endoskeleton with an exoskeleton?
where does the spider-centaur-thing’s endoskeleton end? is it all endoskeleton? tarantulas are also super fragile, that broken pillar should have killed it
unless maybe it’s both entirely endo- and exoskeleton?
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wait gregorio says “juni’s still alive” when carmen’s tracking device goes offline
implying he thinks carmen’s died
and the tracking devices are not electrical which means they have to be smashed to be taken offline
and the tracking devices are in their /teeth/
gregorio is exceptionally chill for a man confronted with the news that his daughter’s head was just violently destroyed
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“if donnagan’s coming we have to destroy the transmooker”
that’s a hell of a leap i think it’s more important that the work steve buscemi’s doing is kept a secret
probs gonna have to straight-up murder donnagan’s ass
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all of the animals steve buscemi made are puns
he made a slizzard
is that child appropriate
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steve buscemi that is not how you create new species you don’t just mix up a vial of red and a vial of blue and bam horse with a fly head
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HO DAMN WAIT A TICK
gregorio says “tell your father i’m on another mission; there’s, uh, a little problem for the moon”
and ingrid says “my father loves the moon”
so in the third movie, you’re telling me that it’s just coincidence that sylvester stallone gave her wheelchair-bound father NOT JUST the ability to walk BUT ALSO gave him the ability to WALK ON THE GODDAMN MOON
sylvester stallone and wheelchair grandpa’s tragic love story is the story we shold have gotten in spy kids 3
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