shout out to the patient I called to remind to pick up their medication, whose voicemail message was “HEWWO? HEWWO?? WHO IS THIS??? WEAVE A MESSAGE” that rang out throughout the whole pharmacy, killing me instantly
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i’m afraid i’m coping with everything the wrong way
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y’alluigi
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top 3 depression activities:
-watching vine compilations in your bed at 3am
-playing 2048 with a dead expression
-listening to Africa by Toto on repeat and trying to feel something, anything
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Any guy: I love history, I find it really interesting. Especially-
Me cutting him off, rubbing my temples: especially World War II. Yeah
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me: *sees a body of water*
brain: throw phone
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So honey take me by the hand and we can sign some papers
Forget the invitations floral arrangements and bread makers
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remember when kids would just randomly say “pop a molly im sweatin” in class
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you would not believe your pants
if ten million fire ants
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You: One Direction
Me, an intellectual: Big Time Rush
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this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them
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