Oh my, how things have changed. (Six years after graduation.)

I can't even begin to explain how my life has changed over the past five years. I've gone from being in the marriage from absolute hell, to living in a rather nice apartment in New York. Not to mention I went from having two children running around, to having five children running around. 

Right after I gave birth to my oldest son, Kellan, Ross and I decided to meet up again. I'm not sure of his exact motives, but at the time I felt a little used. I knew that he had a girlfriend in New York, and he knew that I was still married. He came down claiming he just wanted to spend time with a few friends, and we ended sleeping together. Funny thing is, only a few days later he went back. Now you tell me how I'm supposed to take that. I want to say that it was around seven or eight weeks later, that I discovered once again (just my fucking luck) I was pregnant. (Not that I don't love my children, but I wish I had learned what birth control was much earlier.) When I told Ross he said he'd come back. I didn't expect him to leave his entire life behind, and really that's not what he did. We agreed that I would leave for New York with him, along with my children.

Now mind you, Alex wasn't exactly thrilled about this, but it's not like he really cared. Alex was never one to keep his thing in his pants and I'm betting he probably has a dozen kids throughout the state of Virginia. I'm not going to say that I regret leaving Virginia, because I most certainly don't, but I do regret the way I did it. The way I moved to New York before backing out of my first marriage like a coward. Even though at the end of the day I know I did it to be with the man I love most, to be with the one who I knew would not only love me and my children unconditionally but would be able to provide for us. I just feel like I stabbed Alex in the back, I guess.

As the months passed on, I discovered that Ross had another child before we had even met. I'm honestly not entirely sure of how Nico was conceived, but from my understanding he was the result of a summer tryst. Interesting, right? Soon enough we discovered that we were having fraternal twins, making our pack of four, turn to a pack of six. In late August Rosalie and Princeton came into the world. I honestly don't even remember a time I had seen Ross cry before that moment. (Thinking back on it I think he called himself a "little bitch", but c'mon, he witnessed his children being born.).

Months after their birth (and me pressuring him) Ross agreed to marry me. It was a rather small ceremony back in Virginia Beach. It was important to me to marry him in the same city that I had first met him. Hannah was my maid of honor, and my bridal party completed by Cleo and Ashley. What a surprise there, right? 

That's pretty much what my life has been like since then. I'm happy you know? Being with him. He's still going to law school, chugging along, doing odd jobs here and there. I'm still party planning, only now it's a bit bigger. I've shown my work to local clubs and they hire me occasionally to decorate the places and throw parties for them. I guess we're on our way. I mean, having six kids under one roof at the young age of twenty five and twenty six isn't easy at all. Shit, now that think about it, I guess I feel kind of like a floozy. That doesn't matter though, right? Because at the end of the day, everyday, I get to lay down beside the only man who's ever made me feel special. And I love him with every inch of my heart.

P.s. Ross, stop snooping through my diary. I don't hide my high school nudes here.

P.s.s. Since I know you're reading this again; congrats. Kid number seven is on the way.  

Just wait until you have kids, Ash. You'll cherish the silence, okay? Though I will admit, it is a little creepy.

Ew. Silence.

It still creeps me out. 

As Time Goes By || 2/24

One year after graduation...

It's so hard to believe I've been out of school for a year, it feels like it's been so much longer. Then again, I suppose a year does feel like a lifetime with two little ones running around. Life in a way hasn't really changed at all. Alex came back home and what a surprise, I became pregnant again. That wasn't really a shocker, everyone expected me to have another kid, I guess. What was a surprise was that he proposed, we were married not that long after that.

A few months later and Kimberly was born, she's smaller than Lexi was, a little more round too (in the most adorable way); she has those bright blue eyes though. I've started supporting myself, well my family I mean. Some other women in the town have seen my parties for Lexi, birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, etc. They began to offer me money if I'd plan their children's parties as well, so I guess I'm an unprofessional party planner, exciting right? Okay, not really but it gets us by.

I've kept in touch with a few of the people I considered family in high school, Hannah, Ashley, Blake and Ross mostly. I really miss Hannah though, the way we used to mock guys, talk shit about Alex and just spend time having fun. Lexi misses her, too. She hasn't really said anything, but when I let her talk to Hannah on the phone her face just lights up. As far as Ash goes, I think about her everyday. She still calls me and texts me when she needs someone to talk to, to lean on and I do the same. Blake, I can only tolerate him in tiny doses. We were never the same since we sort of fell apart when he was with Lillian. I miss him so much though, it just really hurts to talk to him. The thought that maybe we could have been together, had kids of our own. It's just a fleeting thought though; I'm happy that I married Alex because he's given me another little girl, and another child - whatever the gender may be. 

Ross Gardener, the boy with the heavenly smile and sweet brown eyes. We talk every single day, on the phone, texting, facetime and skype - literally every possible way we can. From what I understand he went back to NY, is going to school. I hope he succeeds, he really deserves to live out his dream, whatever it may be. Alex can't stand the fact that we talk, there's still some deep seeded jealousy I think. Honestly though, I don't care. The time I spend with my children and the time I get to talk to Ross is when I'm happiest. Doesn't that count for something?

 I'm not truly happy with Mr. Wood to tell the truth. He's not the same, it's not the same; I married him for the same reason so many women marry men, he's the father of my child. I had dreams, you know. I wanted to be a teacher, to go to school and be someone. Instead, I got pregnant again, and again; so I settled for someone who may be Mr. Wrong to keep my family together. That's not wrong, is it? I'm not complaining though, my girls are my absolute everything. I just can't help but think of what would happen if someone came along and saved me. My very own knight in shining armor on a white horse. In some dreams, it's Blake, his humor and gentle touch making everything better. Even better, Hannah. Oh God yes, the times we talked about being together to raise Lexi. I can imagine it, sitting in front of the fire place drinking some wine or a few shots of vodka. Maybe even Ross Gardener himself. I can imagine him on the floor letting the kids crawl all over him as he laughed and smiled, loving the time he spent with his family. But no, I chose Alex, so that's what I'll live with.

Kimberly's crying and it's time for her feeding, so I should end the journal now. I'll try to write again later.

Xo, Katelyn Wood.

If only you'd stay.

Stop being cute, Lillipop. Normally I'd agree with you, but right now it's awful. The calm, I mean; something bad always happens when it's calm.

You know,

Aw, Katiekins. The quiet is nice sometimes though!

Hey there, love.

You know,

You know,

If I didn't have this incredible need for me to have a good time, I'd enjoy the extreme quiet right now.

So, I'm all ready. I don't even know why in the hell I'm going to this thing.

Come On Over Baby || Kannah

It had felt like an eternity since Katelyn had seen Hannah, the girl who had quickly claimed her heart as her best friend. So when the opportunity to spend time with the blonde sprung from the ashes, she jumped at it. Thankfully, her old friend Lillian had agreed to babysit her small child. She had returned to her small apartment once Lexi was safe and warm inside the blonde's dorm, and she was ready to have a good time. Walking to her bedroom, she contemplated whether she wanted to change her clothes or stay in her run-down sweatpants. With a slight smirk, she stripped the pants and tank top off of her small frame, letting them stay on the floor. Grabbing a short red dress from her closet, she pulled it on, struggling as it  tightly hugged her new found curves. Knowing Hannah, the girl would want to take the opportunity to take pictures, and Katelyn couldn't have photos of herself that looked bad. She pulled her long brown hair down, letting it grace her shoulders before walking to her mirror to put a small amount of makeup on. Before she knew it, she was ready for the perfect girls night in, the only thing left to do was wait for Hannah.

Text @ Lillipop

Lillian: Oh, absolutely! I'd love to watch her.

Katelyn: Thanks babes! When can I drop her off?

Text @ Lillipop

Lillian: That depends what I'm about to be roped into.

Katelyn: Babysitting Lexi? I was going to ask Blake, but I don't think I can trust him with her for a whole night.

Text @ Lillipop

Katelyn: Hey, hey, little one. So, how much do you love me?

I like the way you think, beautiful. Not a problem, I just have to find a sitter for Lexi.

I just want to let loose tonight.

Oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Let’s get wasted.

I just want to let loose tonight.

You know? Forget all of this bullshit. Anyone up for a drink? 

Embrace it. Remember, it's almost never quiet here.

God, it's so quiet.

What the actual hell?