@hornpobhotsdisc1981-blog @m3wpudd1ng @catchingcold 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

:>

:D

Boss Baby but they both flat-out die at this scene

g(r)ay lizards

when we were hiking during a car-drive, i saw a lizard. My mom asked for me to describe it. (Note- My mom, dad, sister, and grandpa was there). I was going to say ‘it was EXTREMELY gray’ but instead ‘it was EXTREMELY gay’ and they wont let me live it down

hope is lost.

i lost 10 iq points. thanksss

Im dying from this

im dyINg

does anyone remember that one Osomatsu episode with the boring 10 minutes of the dry desert-y world and the oso-bois (F6) finding lubricant to heal the cracked skin of the fangirls? yeah i hated that episode but my favourite scene was right after so we’re all good. great balance guys

STATEMENT:

Cilan from pokemon black and white is sexy as FUCK and no one can tell me otherwise.

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.

Reblog to gay

Simon IS a scone

You are what you eat right

Me, using my bare hands to pick up and eat ramen noodles: built in chopsticks

Simon: Penny, do you think leaves are called leaves because they leave the tree?

Penny : SIMON GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM I'M SHOWERING

Today is @eroticgropefest bday! For 50 more minutes! This counts! You are probably asleep by now but HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE! !!! this is a Baz bday fic sorry I got lazy at the end and i was rushed anyway I hope you like it!!!

Simon “That’s the last one,” I say to myself as I tie the ribbon on the last present, stacking it on top of the rest. I step back and survey the pile of shiny boxes and misshapen lumps of wrapping paper and ribbon.

The oven beeps a loud staccato, bursting me back into action. I slide into the kitchen on slippery sock skates and pull the cake out of the oven. Are cakes supposed to be flat? It should still taste fine.

I hear a key rattling at the door to the flat. So that’s where my key went! I stand still in anticipation as i hear the door swing open.

“Snow….? What is all this?” I hear Baz step forward into the adjacent room. I nonchalantly go to him, setting his groceries down for him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

“You’re home early.” I press a firm kiss on him, but he pulls back after only a few seconds.

“Snow-” His eyes ghost over the birthday decorations all over the living room.

“Happy birthday, Baz!” I beam at him and pull back to let him walk around.

“Did- did you do all this yourself?” There are banners over each doorway, a confetti tablecloth on all the tables, a pile of presents, and a wide selection of new movies spread out by the TV.

“Thank you, love.”

Baz I assumed that by “cake”, Simon meant a cake he had bought. It’s never safe to assume anything.

I put the first movie in, and then he’s setting a large, flat, obviously homemade, chocolate blob that is apparently a cake, in front of me.

“Snow, you know cakes aren’t supposed to look like that.”

“I know, but it should taste fine. It-it has red velvet filling.” My hungry eyes prickle back to the blob like I’m trying to look inside it.

“Red velvet, you say?” “I know you like red velvet, I hope this is okay. “ I scoop out a giant piece of cake and take a large bite, refraining from attempting to stuff the whole slice in my mouth at once. Snow sucks in a small breath, waiting for my verdict.

“It’s wonderful, love.”

…

Two movies and too many cuddles to count later, Simon leaves my arms and stands up. “No, come back!” I mumble to the cold air between my arms. “But, Baz, it’s present time!” Reluctantly, I let him pull me up and drag me to the kitchen entryway. He pulls me to a small mountain of sloppily wrapped parcels, topped with three cards. Simon pulls a beanbag over for me, and as I sit down, something thin and green slips over my eyes. It’s a paper crown. “Simon-” He shoves a card in my face, leaving me no space to continue. The card is from Dev and Niall. The other cards are from Simon and Bunce, who is visiting Micah in America. She signed as Penny, continuing her attempt to get me to call her by her nickname. Then Simon hands me a misshapen lump wrapped in swirly green paper. Inside is a new pair of jeans; they are black and just my size. The black, shiny package contains a black shirt, sporting the red words, ‘bite me”. I put it on immediately. The red chevron box contains a tea maker and a box of Royal English Breakfast Tea, my favorite. Soon, the pile has dissolved into torn paper and empty boxes. “Simon, none of the presents had tags on them. How will I know who to thank?” i turn towards him, to see a rosy blush glowing on his cheeks. “Simon, did you get me all these presents?” “I’m not done giving you presents yet. You get a kiss for each year of your life since it is your birthday. “ “I only get twenty?” I pout. His brow furrows. “Well, since its your birthday, I will also grant you a wish. You can ask for more. But you start with 20.” I lean in first.

~FIN~