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kaixserzz · 4 days
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༺ ♱ ❝ he was like the apple eve mustn't touch. and yet, she stood on the tip of her toes, and stretched her fingers to reach him. ❞ ♱ ༻
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Welcome to my main blog — ♡
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︶꒦꒷ ABOUT ꒷꒦︶
❥ This is my SFW blog, please read the rules before requesting. ➜ MASTERLIST ➜ RULES ➜ REQUESTS: OPEN. (Ask if I write for a certain character! HSR n GI.)
❥ Pfp drawn by the wonderful @ebonywayeria
❥ My other accounts; ➜ MAIN: @mordekaiser-the-demon
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▹RECENT WORKS!◃
➜ Nothing yet!
▹RECENT SERIES!◃
➜ Nothing yet!
▹RECENT EVENTS!◃
➜ Nothing yet!
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Do not share, copy, edit, or repost my works on any other platform. All contents belong to @mordekaiser-the-demon. Dividers belongs to @/cafekitsune, character/event banners made by me.
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kaixserzz · 4 days
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༺ ♱ ❝ what was punishment to eve, who has done everything but wrong in her entire life? ❞ ♱ ༻
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Welcome to my main blog — ♡
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︶꒦꒷ ABOUT ꒷꒦︶
❥ This will be my main blog. All interactions will come here (reblogs, follows, likes, asks). These are my writing blogs; ➜ SFW: @the-faithful
❥ Old accounts: ➜ @maaarshieee ➜ @kaixserzz
❥ Pfp drawn by the wonderful @ebonywayeria
︶꒦꒷ AUTHOR ꒷꒦︶
❥ Mordekaiser ⋅ Kaiser ⋅ Kai ❥ He/him ⋅ Transmasc ❥ Aroace ⋅ Gay ❥ Filipino ❥ 17 ⋅ June 14th ❥ GI UID: Kaiser 1802405332 ❥ HSR UID: Kaiser 828759557
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Do not share, copy, edit, or repost my works on any other platform. All contents belong to @mordekaiser-the-demon. Dividers belongs to @/cafekitsune.
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kaixserzz · 4 days
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okay so. finally!
@mordekaiser-the-demon (main acc)
@the-faithful (sfw writing blog)
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kaixserzz · 5 days
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GUYS WAIT. I SWEAR I'LL POST. SUMMER NEXT MONTH AND I HAVE A BUTTLOAD OF BOOTHILL AND AVENTURINE IDEAS.
In the mean time, PLAY WITH ME!!! (Asia)
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kaixserzz · 14 days
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I'll post my new acc later ^^ and will accept a few requests as a compensation for my absence...
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kaixserzz · 18 days
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I will NOT be quiet about this anymore...
Y'all need 'ta be normal about SOME characters cos y'all be making these characters seem so... Shallow.
I'm not judging or hating, but sometimes I think y'all miss the point of this character or PAINFULLY mischaracterize them even though they've been laid out entirely in the story.
Some of y'all be diluting this character's complexity to the point that it's hard to take them seriously.
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kaixserzz · 18 days
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clank clank era
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kaixserzz · 26 days
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rest assured guys, my first post in my new account will be boothill HAHXJXHDJDHS
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kaixserzz · 29 days
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get out of the way dottore.
hello boothill from hsr 😍😍😍
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kaixserzz · 1 month
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something something encouraging dottore and being the #1 catalyst of his path to insanity by planting ideologies and basically manipulating him n making it so he's unable to thing anything else but you, that he does everything for you and and.
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kaixserzz · 1 month
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,,, moving again because of .. reasons. maybe will write sooner or later, but im trying
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kaixserzz · 4 months
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IF I GO INSANE I'LL WRITE FOR HEARTSTEEL (I already am)
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kaixserzz · 5 months
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Dottore has never truly felt that anything he saw was worthy of the praise "beautiful". No, nothing. Sure, there are things he finds pleasing to the eye, whether it's the pages of perfectly compiled notes and research he's finally finished, or the results of his latest experiment that appear to be successful, but they're not something he'd call "beautiful." Therefore, surprisingly enough, Dottore finds himself a bit interested in the word "beautiful." No, it's not something he thinks about very often really, but when he hears someone mention it offhandedly, he finds himself thinking about it. What makes something "beautiful"? It's another matter of "perspective", he decides. His perspective is different from others, so he cannot see the supposed beauty in the things they do.
It takes a long time for him to find beauty in something. Even when he meets you, it's no different. You're nothing special to him, much less "beautiful." His perspective hasn't changed... not yet at least.
But when Zandik realizes you are beautiful, it hits him like a truck. It takes years of bonding, of closeness, of everything in a friendship. He realizes you're beautiful when you aren't even dressed up, in fact, your Akademiya uniform is dirtied like his from digging around the ruins for so long. Your hair is a bit tousled, eyes a bit tired, but there's a large smile stretched on your lips as you laugh like there's no tomorrow at something he said. Zandik isn't particularly looking for a word to describe how you love, but he idly thinks the word "beautiful." Wait, beautiful? Did he just think the word beautiful, without even thinking about it? His conflict clearly shows on his face, and you worry for him, but he quickly brushes you off and practically ignores you for the rest of the expedition. (Poor you, always having to deal with his mood swings.) He just can't accept this. Out of all the supposed beauties Teyvat has to offer, you're what he finds beautiful? But once the idea has been planted in his mind, he can't get it out. You're beautiful.
Now that he looks back on it, realizing your beauty was probably one of the biggest indicators that he fell in love with you. His old self was just full of denial. Centuries later, even though you may not look the same as you did back then, Dottore can say with his full confidence, that you are truly the most beautiful thing in this world.
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kaixserzz · 5 months
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Kind of dark stuff ahead? Basic Dottore warnings to be honest (blood, experimentation, he pretty much dissects someone, straps them down while they cry and beg for mercy, in front of the other Fatuis since they made you cry as a lesson, so yeah)
Been thinking about Dottore displaying to everyone in the lab what would happen to them if they crossed you, or Tsaritsa forbid, made you cry. By this point, everyone who works with Dottore or in his labs would know of you. And it'd take longer if you were sickly, but as soon as your presence is discovered, and the regular workers are aware of your standing as their Lord Harbinger's lover, immediate respect is afforded to you without any question. Do they have millions of questions? Yes, absolutely, but they prefer to keep their lives. Surprisingly though, you're... quite nice to them? It's honestly a breath of fresh air considering how the segments treat them, so the respectful way the agents treat you is a mixture of how they actually like you and how they don't want to end up as the Doctor's next test subject. There are always newcomers who are wholly unaware of you and who you are, so the older agents try to inform them as soon as possible. However, one learned the truth far too late, sealing his fate. Berating you for one minor slip-up that was just an accident, that was out of your control. And the other Fatuis are there absolutely panicking, trying to explain that you were not just an experiment, that you were- it was too late, because tears were already rolling down your eyes as you quickly exited the room. And the agents think, they are so fucked because they have no idea what the Doctor will do to them now that you've cried in their presence. They can only hope that he will have mercy on them, and punish the idiot who made you cry directly.
The next day, a multitude of Fatui agents, soldiers, scientists, and really whoever happened to be in the lab that day, were called into a room. It was very random, considering they never had meetings since the segments didn't like to be bothered with such frivolities, but upon entering the room, the same sinking feeling pooled in their stomachs. There was a lone operation table in the middle of the spacious room, along with a small table that had yet to hold anything. Strapped to the operation table was one of their fellow agents, bound and gagged, his screams were the only thing filling the room as the other Fatuis could only watch on speechlessly. Next to the (former) agent, was their Lord Harbinger. And no, this wasn't one of his segments, it was Prime, the real Il Dottore himself. Prime himself came to make a statement. Many of the agents hadn't even seen him until now, only encountering his numerous segments. And to the side of him was Omega too. The combination was enough to make some Fatuis want to faint and throw up, but they knew they couldn't for they weren't sure if they'd wake up again.
"I do believe that this is enough people. Word gets around quite fast around here, anyway," Prime hummed to no one in particular as if there wasn't a man crying next to them. Nonchalantly, he circled around the operation table, paying no mind to the muffled "please" and "i'm sorry" echoing like a broken record from the agent's mouth.
"It has come to my attention that some of you have trouble understanding orders," Prime Dottore began, his voice striking the highest amount of fear into the Fatuis. "I make myself clear, do I not? So why do you all still lack common sense? Why..." his gaze suddenly snapped to the tied-down man, "have I discovered that some of you still fail to respect [Name] the same way you do with me? Do you believe that you, a lowly person such as yourself, have the authority to speak to them in such a way?"
"I despise having my time wasted, especially by fools. Therefore, I expect this will serve as a reminder if you ever dare to think about crossing [Name], and consequently me." Prime then adjusts his gloves and motions to Omega, who then begins to set the table with... medical instruments he's retrieved from a bag. Only that they will certainly not be used ethically. The man only becomes more frantic at the sight of the dangerously sharp and pointy objects, but there's nothing you can do, once you're in the Doctor's clutches. No, he didn't bother to anesthetize the man either, so his screams would ring out endlessly until he finally succumbed.
And so the group of onlookers got a front-row seat of one of the Doctor's experiments. As horrifying as it was, no one dared to look away.
Let's just say no one ever dared to make you sad ever again.
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kaixserzz · 5 months
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eons adrift ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ wanderer x gn!reader
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🎐 ꒱ "i'll come and find you in every life celestia will give me." "that's not possible, you and i both know that." "watch me!"
 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ cw: character analysis-ish, mildly proofread, drabble but it's kinda messy, its more like an idea than a fic LOLLL im sorry, hurt/comfort
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scaramouche took you for a naive fool, just as he was when oh so stupidly believed those words as kunikuzushi.
you are but a human. a mere breath of his everlasting eternity. a few hundreds of years and he would forget everything about you.
insignificant, you humans were.
frail.
vulnerable.
so so easy to break.
as he walked into the path of darkness; consuming him and turning him into someone he doesn't recognize in the mirror no longer—kabukimono, kunikuzushi, the love of your life, was long gone. memories like the leaves that turn yellow and crumble to ashes as winter approaches.
yet the winter will remain in his empty chest for as long as he walks teyvat. churning into a blizzard of ice cold pain, destroying everything around him as it grows. he continues to walk this wretched path he chose.
but then he met someone, rekindling the spark that was once there beneath his porcelain skin. trying to light up a burn out wick, to bring an end to his winter and bring forth the beautiful spring he was once.
scaramouche never thought he'd love again.
even after all through the pain he went from the doctor's experiments, after roaming the great expanse of the abyss, after becoming the balladeer, the 6th of the fatui harbingers, he still felt.
love.
happiness.
pain.
sorrow.
and regret.
he hates it, but he loves them, just as much as he loved you.
though he allowed someone new worm their way into his heart, he kept them in arm's reach. he cannot bear to be vulnerable to someone else. they were human, they were to die; he is a puppet, he is meant to live on forever.
but then he heard them say things only you would say. giving him lavender melons you bought off the market, accidentally calling him names only you would know.
he remember that promise you made him before you died.
"i'll come and find you in every life celestia will give me."
scaramouche did not understand what he felt when he realized that his new lover, was in fact, just a reincarnation of you. and just like that, your name burns back itself into his mind—a name he thought he had erased into obscurity, along with his past.
he was a fool, scaramouche thought. he laughed at himself, a laugh void of humor, nor joy.
it was your name, your first incarnation, just in a different language.
it appears that scaramouche didn't like this feeling. of bitter butterflies in his stomach, the familiarity when you try to get close to him, the same smile you had, the light full of love in your eyes—it was all too much for him.
so he left you in the snow of his ever growing blizzard. buried under the thick layers of freezing ice.
and again, to your next reincarnation. a fatui, a vendor, an adventurer, a knight, a scholar—male, female, neither, or all of them; tall, short, plump, slim, dark or light skinned,
he cannot bear to lose you just as he first did.
slipping by his fingers, to the one thing he is not affected by.
death.
he doesn't accept the fact that your love has led you back to him, again and again.
why do you even keep coming back? don't you know he's part of the fatui? don't you know what he has done? don't you know what he has become?
and yet you'd knock on his door, calling his name with your voice full of warmth, arms wide for him to take and allow himself to be called yours again—all he had to do was open the door.
he has kept a lock on it ever since he met you again.
worn down and rotten; chains all rusted, handle jammed and barely working. he approaches the door once again. this time, as wanderer. a better version of himself,
one that's finally willing to open the door to you.
but you weren't there anymore, waiting for him on the other side.
how could you? you were never there in the first place.
not with this version of himself.
not as the wanderer.
and maybe that was for the best. even though he cries himself to sleep at night for all the things he has done to you. weeping, as he curls onto the sheets, praying to the stars above in hopes you'd hear his heartbroken apologies, yearning for your love, your touch, your smiles—
this was his punishment for hurting you, for being a fool. he was underserving of your love, after all.
"hey, wanderer, was it?"
a new voice, someone unfamiliar. he refrained from sighing, for buer's sake, and instead took a deep, refreshing breath. he turns, and the stranger smiles brightly at him.
immediately, as if the winds of spring has hit him all so suddenly in the face. the fragrance of blooming flowers that was once buried under the snow, the sun shining brightly in the skies, and birds chirping symphonies.
like the mornings brimming with new found hope, the smell of dew sticking onto his clothes as he trace his fingers all over the a tree's trunk. like the the juices of a fruit he sank his teeth into, dribbling down the corners of his lips and down his arms.
warmth tingled on his skin, and his heart leaps.
"nice to meet you!" you say your name, a name he has heard hundreds of versions before, all so different and yet they all felt and tasted like honey dripping down his tongue. "i hope we get along."
"yeah," he says, almost breathless, as the tears begins to well in his eyes. his fingers tremble, and his smile grew wobbly. tipping his hat down to avoid your gaze, his voice cracks. "i hope so too."
his door was wide open, waiting for you come in.
you grin, and take a step inside.
 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
author's note: "i thought this was a dottore only blog? SHUT UP!!!!! SHUT UP!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 IM MAD AT MYSELF TOO BUT THIS IS FOR @fatuismooches also new format because im too lazy to open my files :/ not back yet, i just wanna write this for the pookie 💗💗 ty for listening to me ramble like a madman ur single handedly gettin me thru it ong LMAOOO /lh
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kaixserzz · 5 months
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fabulam diu oblitus - first interlude.
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synopsis: The tale of the raven and the sparrow has long been forgotten by most, but some will always remember.
includes: dottore w/ gn! reader
notes: This is the second part of a multi-chaptered Dottore fic, please read the prelude before reading this one. Your and Dottore's life continues to be told via a fairy tale crafted by the one and only Dendro Archon. Mostly fluff this chapter but the last two will not be so nice. Obligatory @kaixserzz mention and all my anons who inspired me to write this! (🎐 anon <3)
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prelude. first interlude. second interlude. postlude.
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“But one day, a miracle happened. The bird woke up from their eternal rest, utterly confused and lost.”
When you woke up, everything was hazy. Your eyes were open, but you couldn’t see anything. Rather, you could not process what you were seeing. It was a strange state. Everything felt fuzzy… but then the light from above glared suddenly right into your eyes, and you instinctively moved your hand to block the blinding light.
You were wide awake now, blinking your eyes and rubbing them. And though you had just woken up from a good nap, you quickly realized nothing made sense. Everything was eerily quiet, to the point where you could hear a pin drop. The grand and expensive room, the large plush bed. This wasn’t the hospital! And it looked absolutely nothing like the Akademiya either, not even the architecture! When you moved to stretch your arms, that’s when the biggest discovery finally hit you. 
Attached to your arms was an alarming amount of wires, hooked up to machines and whatnot.
Okay… now you had gone from mildly confused to kind of scared. You weren’t dead, right? Nope, pinching yourself still hurts. And- ouch, the random sharp pains you suddenly got in parts of your body were most definitely real. And these clothes, they weren’t yours, but they looked like something you’d wear. But… why were you like this? And more importantly, where was Zandik? You remember your beloved quite clearly… you were waiting for him to visit you again… hmm. And for some reason, you felt… a lot better than what you remembered? You felt super tired in that hospital, but now, you think you got a bit better. That was weird. But anyway, you had bigger issues. It was even weirder how you were no longer in that drab, busy hospital.
There was no other option than to go find Zandik and learn where you were. However, you had to get rid of these wires first. Without putting too much thought into it, you pulled one off your arm.
Horrible idea.
Before you could even blink, a loud alarm suddenly started blaring inside the room, scaring the shit out of you. What the hell? As any frenzied person would do, you began to pull off even more wires from your arm rapidly before finally all of them were off. The alarm merely kept going off which was obviously quite disturbing to you. Were people going to burst through the door at any moment and incapacitate you again? Wait, were you kidnapped? Oh, you just wanted Zandik to be with you right now, you thought as you pulled the heavy blankets off your body. Surely he’d know what to do. And then the door to the room slammed open, immediately beckoning your attention as you snapped your neck to see who it was. 
And lo and behold, it was Zandik. 
Your Zandik, draped in the Akademiya’s robes. Those red eyes and blue hair that you loved. Suddenly you could forget about your current abnormal situation and block out the noise, solely focused on your heart positively soaring as you gazed upon your love. 
But you quickly realized that he did not share the same expression. Not in the slightest. Rather, Zandik was looking at you with surprise, shock, astonishment, whatever you wanted to call it. It made you feel wholly uneasy. Why was your love looking at you as if you were from another universe? Like you had come back from the dead? Before you could question him, another person barreled in through the door. Another mop of blue hair. Another pair of red eyes. Another Zandik. 
Your heart stopped for a moment. 
Who were these people, and what have they done with your Zandik?
It only got worse when yet another Zandik look-alive entered. Only this time he was wearing bloodied clothing and gloves. You were too shocked to scream, and now all the other blue-haired people were panicking at your fearful expression and began fighting amongst themselves.
“Why would you come in looking like that?!”
“How was I supposed to know they had woken up?! It’s been centuries, I thought a wire detached by accident or something!” The one with the bloody coat and pink bow tie snapped back. The bickering continued but that was the least of your worries right now. You glanced around the room, trying to see if there was another escape route.
The windows. Yes, they would have to work. You didn’t know what floor you were on, but you’d have to take a gamble. You inched towards the end of the bed and swung your legs off the edge, hoping to bolt to it quickly. You placed one foot on the ground, putting all your force into it to sprint and-
Instead, your legs buckled and you fell pathetically to the floor, squeaking in a mixture of pain and surprise. You tried to heave yourself up with your arms, but your legs felt too weak. It was as if your legs wouldn’t, or perhaps couldn’t listen to your demands. You wiggled them around a bit, but it seemed as if they didn’t have enough strength to stand up on their own. You didn’t understand. Even though you were quite sick before, you could still walk a bit. This, however, was an unfamiliar sensation that filled you with dread. And now the Zandik clones’ attention was back on you.
“Oh fuck,” one of them mumbled, running his hands through his hair. You gulped, but they seemed reluctant to come near you judging from their nervous expressions. Well, you were going to take advantage of that, so you continued crawling toward the window. “Go get Prime. Now,” he hissed. A clone rushed out of the room but that was the least of your concerns. It was slightly humiliating to be watched as you crawled, but you persevered anyway. Thankfully, there was a table near the window, so you could use it to pull yourself up without using your legs too much. How were you going to escape with virtually no legs? Well, that was future [Name]’s problem. 
The clones, on the other hand, seemed incredibly antsy about your hand on the curtain, ready to pull it away. It seemed as if they were trying to speak but didn’t know how. But without any more delay, you yanked the curtain to the side to reveal…
A completely white background. Snow that certainly was more than knee deep, that clung to the windows and weighed the trees down. You had never seen anything like it before. The mere sight of it made you dizzy and a nauseating feeling came over you as you stumbled back and landed on the floor again. Wherever you were, it was not Sumeru. And even if you could escape, you would certainly freeze to death in a few seconds. The reality of the situation made your skin crawl and overheat. You looked back at the fake Zandiks and noticed they were a bit closer than before. Your rapidly beating heart was not a good combination for the major headache that was beginning to grow. 
“Don’t… don’t come near me,” your lightheadedness made the words come out more of a mumble than a command, your throat now dry and clogged. Not being able to defend yourself was a horrible feeling. Through your blurry eyes, you think the clones felt sorry for you… which really made you feel worse, to be honest, actually to the point of feeling like you were going to pass out from all of this stress and pain.
… And you did pass out. But not before a pair of hands caught you before your head hit the floor.
“Meanwhile, the raven could not contain his excitement. Finally, after four hundred years spent alone, his beloved was back. Despite all of the power and knowledge he basked in, he was admittedly… lonely without them. If the raven had never met them, he would have been fine. But the sparrow had relentlessly pecked a hole into his formerly impenetrable heart, one that they vowed to fill for eternity as an apology. But… they were not here to fill it for so long, creating an indescribable void in him.”
When one of his segments burst into his office without even knocking, Dottore was initially irritated. He did not like to be disturbed, especially in the middle of his own personal research. But 02 only had to say one word for his attitude to flip dramatically. Your name. He didn’t even wait for the clone to finish his sentence before he quickly made his way to your room, multiple possibilities running through his mind as to what could have happened. Surely it wasn’t possible for your condition to get even worse, right? He gritted his teeth and increased his pace until he saw the crowd at the door of your room. He didn’t bother questioning any of them as he stepped into the room, expecting to see your body still lying on the bed. But it was empty… because you were awake, wide-eyed, and a bit terrified, but awake nonetheless.
Even the wise doctor couldn’t help but be frozen in shock. Four hundred years of emptiness, of silence, of nothingness. A stagnant eternity had passed in front of his eyes. You had remained ever so still for so long, but now you finally were moving and speaking in front of him.
Would he call this a miracle? No, he would not because the scientist did not believe in miracles. He didn’t believe in anything that the Gods supposedly granted. He knew you would wake up, it was just a matter of when, and however long that was, he would wait. Contrary to what many people thought, Dottore could be a patient man. Perhaps it was because all of the people in the Fatui were witnesses to his short fuses and a low tolerance for inability, but he could be extremely patient with the proper circumstances. Now, all his waiting had finally paid off, Dottore thought as he caught you in his arms. Indeed… everything had finally paid off.
Dottore wondered how you would react when you woke up again. How much would you remember? Would you recognize him? He already had a multitude of notes and plans written for when you woke up, but it would depend all on you. You, you, you… yes, he would go to astonishingly and morally dubious lengths just for you.
“The butterfly had come to realize that their beloved raven had changed while they were sleeping. The raven had draped himself in fox fur, no longer the same from hundreds of years ago. The butterfly was not too bothered, as they were changed too, but they could not help but feel that they were left behind.”
When you woke up once again, the ceiling looked different and the bed you were in was much more plain and stiff than the previous one, as if no one used it. Though the out-of-place blanket and pillows looked as if someone threw them in out of consideration for you. You raised your hand to your temple and gently rubbed it. Somehow, your oncoming headache was gone, which was good. You began to observe the room. This one was a stark difference from the other one. It was mostly plain and boring, and much smaller. It literally only had this bed and a desk which was crowded with piles upon piles of paperwork, and you could faintly make out the writing. It was hard to read and bore a resemblance to… Zandik. Instantly your curiosity was piqued.
You don’t know what happened during the time you fainted, but somehow your legs seem to have gotten a bit stronger. In fact, there seemed to be a new bandage on your leg. Did someone inject you with something while you were sleeping…? You swallowed the unease before you hobbled over and quickly took a seat on the chair, eyes sweeping over the multitude of papers. You began reading the one on top.
“Experiment 23 has failed me once again with their utter uselessness. No matter how many times I modify the drug, their body keeps rejecting it leaving me only with a mess to clean up. What a pathetic waste of my time.” Alright, that was… something. You pushed that one to the side and began reading through more, but they were mainly the same gist. “Subject 14 died today. I must tell one of the segments to take care of it. Perhaps we can still get some use out of the body… A test subject attempted escape today. That was the first one in a while, but it was handled quickly.” More experimentation on different subjects, all labeled with a different number. It was no doubt horrifying but… oddly interesting to you. But one thing that stuck out to you was the name signed at the bottom.
Il Dottore. Il Dottore? What kind of name was that? You kept flipping through the papers, many falling to the floor when you noticed the desk also had some drawers. Pulling them open, there were a few notebooks inside. But that’s not what bothered you. It was the fact that each of them had one word on the cover.
Your name.
This day could not get any creepier. The theory of you getting kidnapped by some crazy person was starting to seem a lot more plausible. Though you hesitated at first, you just had to know what was inside, picking up the notebook on top. You flipped open to the first page. It had nothing but the same few words repeated over and over, divided by lines as the day changed. “No changes in [Name]’s condition.” Alright then… strange. Your eyes flicked over to the date written at the corner of the entry. Month, day, year, yes…
Wait. That year. Your eyes nearly popped out when you looked at it, for it simply could not be true. Because it was… extremely far into the future. A horrible feeling sank into you as you began rapidly turning the pages. Maybe it was just a mistake, you begged no one but yourself, but it was the same over and over again. And that’s when you got to the page that made you dizzy. “Today marks four hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” The sheer shock of that sentence could have made you faint again. 
Gulping, you grabbed the next notebook in the pile. The dates of these were before those of the first one. Yet again, one of the pages stated, “Today marks three hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” And then the next notebook said, “Today marks two hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.” The last journal in the pile ended with, “Today marks one hundred years since [Name] fell asleep.”
In that one, the first page started with, “Today marks the first day since [Name] fell asleep.” The date on this page was very familiar to you. It was the year when you got sick. Trying to calm your unsteady breaths, you read the writing.
“I would have never thought things would have turned out like this. This possibility is one that I never thought of. That was completely foolish of me. I should have been more practical, more realistic. If I had planned for and acknowledged the possibility, perhaps I would have been able to prevent it. But it is too late now. I will write here every day to keep track of [Name]’s condition. If all goes accordingly, they will wake up in due time.”
You placed down the book and put your face in your hands, contemplating what you just read. So… if you were understanding this correctly… you’ve been stuck in a coma for over four hundred years, only now waking up. And this person, it had to be Zandik. He was the only one who would do all of this for you. But that didn’t explain why there were multiple copies of him running around… Oh… but the fact you were asleep for four hundred years… was that even possible? Was this real? A wave of fatigue at this information rolled through you again.
Not only did you miss over four hundred years of life… that meant you weren’t exactly human, were you? Or perhaps you were and you simply had your lifespan increased? So, so many questions. What happened to Zandik during this time? What happened to you? Were you even okay? How had your body survived such a thing? You felt like crying. How could this happen to you… you were about to actually start weeping when the door opened, giving you a start.
Another Zandik - or perhaps this was Il Dottore - stood at the entrance, hand frozen on the doorknob as he looked straight at you. You instinctively backed into the chair. You couldn’t help but still be uneasy after everything you just went through.
“[Name],” your name spilled out of his lips almost unconsciously, his face still expressionless, but that quickly changed as he broke out into a large, pointy smile. “[Name],” he said again, though much louder this time before locking the door behind him. “[Name]... you’re truly awake.” The way he reveled in your name seemed almost mad and obsessed. The man then noticed the disarray of his desk and grinned even further, striding up to you.
“Ah, ever the inquisitive one, are you? Seems like your curiosity has not changed. And you can still read my notes… good, good. Better than what I expected.” Zandik’s(?) voice only grew more delighted. You remained silent, to which he looked slightly disappointed, but he seemed to have expected this reaction as well. He bent down on one knee, placing one hand on his chest while the other intertwined with your own hand. He didn’t externally show how he felt when he did so, the sheer excitement he felt when your hand was no longer deathly cold, instead some warmth running through it now.
“Do not look like that, [Name]. You know who I am, do you not?” The scholar looked up at you expectantly, the pleased smile never leaving his lips. His touch, though it was through gloves, was so familiar. The voice, that was deeper than how you remembered it, made you feel a certain way. Your free hand reached out to his face, fingers tracing the mask he wore. Slowly, you began to remove it to see if he would object, but he did not even flinch. When you looked at his uncovered face, you just knew deep down it was Zandik. It was your Zandik who belonged to you. Though his face now had scars, it was him. Your beloved. You brushed your fingers against the scarred skin, and this time he nuzzled into your touch as if you were some kind of divine being.
“Zandik… Oh Zandik,” you murmured, staring right into his brilliant red eyes. “It’s you, isn’t it?” Zandik moved your hands closer to his lips, before biting down on your fingers with those sharp teeth of his.
“Indeed I am, dearest, but these days they tend to call me The Doctor.”
After that, you wouldn’t let go of Zandik, or rather, Dottore, as he came to explain. He answered your barrage of questions, one by one, which only blew your mind each time. After you fell into a coma, he was recruited by the Fatui. With their funding and support, he was able to keep you stable and also advance his own research, even reaching the high position of the Second Harbinger. Il Dottore, The Doctor to be exact. And those other people you saw, those were his segments. Segments from different periods of his life that he made… You were stunned by those accomplishments.
For hundreds of years, this went on as you remained stagnant… until now. Now, everything had changed, and Dottore was entirely fascinated with you. He ran countless tests, poked and prodded at all parts of your body, all while dumping so many things on you rapidly and excitedly. A recollection of all the things that had happened during your slumber. There were a good amount of words that you didn’t understand too… the language of Teyvat had surely changed a lot. It was quite reminiscent of the old days when he would keep you awake in the dorm with his rambling, but this felt oddly… different.
Dottore was a completely different person from the Zandik you knew. Though the old Zandik wasn’t a good person, Dottore was… different. Very different. There was no boundary he wouldn’t cross for his research, ignoring the laws of Teyvat and life itself. And he was wearing a fucking harness too… but… he did look quite attractive in it so… it was an upgrade for you. Though what really happened while you were asleep? He was different, so so different - powerful and intelligent enough to rival even the Gods, among numerous other feats. It felt like he was a completely different person.
Meanwhile, you felt as though you were stuck as that useless, weak student whose purpose was dwindling by the day. And that wasn’t really a lie to be honest, as you soon learned you still were quite ill. You had only woken up from a coma. You weren’t cured. Your body was still frail and fragile, needing medicine and lots of rest otherwise there would be consequences. And your legs, they were able to get a little bit better from the shot Dottore gave you that worked since you were no longer unconscious, but you still wobbled a lot. You still had a lot of pains in general from this mysterious illness as well. So all in all… conscious and alive, but not very well. But, you were still grateful. You had over four hundred years worth of life you missed out on… you wanted to catch up desperately.
Of course, there was also the number one desire to spend countless hours with Dottore now. And you had to get used to his new personality… No longer was he the snarky, snappy, and irritable boy you once knew. Now he was effortlessly cunning and charming, so above others as their opinions could not mean anything to one akin to a God. And while he had always been possessive, Dottore seemed to ramp it up out of nowhere. In a way, you understood, because if you had to be consciously separated from Dottore for that amount of time, you would have gone crazy a long time ago. 
You were possessive too, but Dottore somehow was much more comfortable with physical and verbal affection than his old self from over four hundred years ago. You remember you’d have to beg and plead to merely sit on his lap before, but on the first day you awoke, he hoisted you there and refused to let you leave. He nipped at your ear and sensitive spots teasingly with no hint of embarrassment, all within a few hours after you woke up as if he couldn’t wait another moment. His hands were so big and they seemed to know every part of your body, he seemed to know exactly what to say to push your buttons now, all so different from when the positions were reversed a while ago… Of course, you still knew him quite well too, but still, you felt as though maybe he was partially a stranger now… Only time would tell you how much he had changed. You just hoped you were still good enough for him.
“Over time, the raven had divided himself into numerous others, each with a unique personality. The butterfly was initially scared by these new creatures, but eventually, they warmed up to the new ravens.”
It had been only a few weeks since you’d woken up, and although Dottore presented you with your own grand room in the lab, you hadn’t touched it much. Who could blame you? You were still jittery and nervous about all the new things in this world, and how to adapt to your new life. So he had gotten used to you crashing on his bed now every day. No, he wasn’t upset in the slightest. After all, he still had a lot to talk to you about. It would probably take a few centuries to tell you every little thing that happened during the last few centuries.
Dottore had shown you so many new wonders of Teyvat, things that could have never existed centuries ago, in all subjects and areas. It made you feel a bit scared and almost disheartened to know the world changed so much in your absence. But… there were some people in the lab to help you.
Dottore’s segments. 
You had learned that the numbers went up to 24, but there weren’t actually 24 segments. They were numbered in the order of creation, and not all of Zandik’s created segments were successes so it jumped around at times. For example, there were no 11, 12, 17, and so on. Even with all of Dottore’s expertise in making clones, he didn’t guarantee success. And yes… their names were merely numbers.
Although the segments hadn’t hurt you in any way, you were still a bit… scared. Hearing that your lover now had copies of himself running about was one thing. Accepting it was another thing, and you tried to cling to your Zandik as much as possible. But the clones were always scattered throughout the laboratory, so you usually ended up bumping into them. Or perhaps they were following you on Dottore’s orders. He probably thought it wasn’t safe for you ever to be alone, especially right now. But you were trying your best to warm up to them, because, after all, they were still Zandik, no? Their love for you stemmed from Zandik’s overwhelming love for you. They were really a testament to how much you were cherished. And so, they were obviously worthy of your love and attention. 
01 was the spitting image of Zandik when he was in the Akademiya. The last person you’d seen before you fell into a long sleep. Every time you looked at him, your heart hurt a little bit. He still had that snark you remembered so well, especially towards other people. And he still had that subtle softness afforded only to you, that you also remembered.
The bloody one who gave you a fright was 02. He had a pink bow tie and also donned a suit. You honestly weren’t sure what kind of phase Zandik went through during that stage of life to dress and act so drastically differently compared to his other clothes but it was… cute. You liked 02. He was a stark difference from the composed nature of the other clones, but you liked his laugh. Whenever you responded favorably to one of his long tangents, he sometimes hee-hee-ho-ho-ed loudly. 02 was also the most likely to bite you unprompted.
You had yet to meet 10, which was surprising because all the other segments were jumping at the opportunity to merely be in the same room as you. All Dottore had said was that he “needed some time” before he decided to speak to you. You weren’t sure what that meant, but you didn’t question it further. There were other segments as well, like 04. He was a serious and stern segment. The others were especially cautious around him. You were too, seeing his demeanor, but thankfully, he seemed to cool down around you. And 18 had a noticeably softer tone than the other segments and longer hair that embroidered his face nicely. He was also the one who seemed to smile a lot. This segment would always wave hi to you as well, funnily enough.
Meanwhile, 24 seemed to be the strongest of the segments and the highest-ranking one. The others didn’t seem to like him very much, but in the end, they always had to listen to him. He also seemed to be the boldest, and the most greedy. You distinctly remember your first meeting with him. It was something alright.
24 had raised your hand to his lips and kissed it, the smile on his face never leaving. “I have been waiting a long time to finally meet you, [Name].” Your words almost got stuck in your throat from the blatant display of affection. None of the other clones were ever so daring, instead settling with awkward conversation and fleeting glances of longingness at you. 
“Oh… well, it’s nice to meet you…?” You waited for his name.
“Twenty-Four.”
“Ah. Nice to meet you then, Twenty-Four.”
“No, the pleasure is all mine,” he hummed before releasing your hand. “If you ever need something, by all means, feel free to tell me. I shall see it done, far more efficiently than anyone else.” You ignored the subtle remark thrown at his other fellow segments.
“Thanks, Twenty-Four,” you smiled slightly, not sure what else to say after that.
“Of course. I do look forward to our further conversations, [Name]. I imagine they will be quite enlightening,” his deep voice chuckled as he walked away. Well… that was certainly something. You swallowed your throat that had gone dry, still feeling a bit fuzzy from that kiss. His lips felt soft against your hand.
Well, regardless of how you felt about the segments, you had to warm up quickly as they were starting to be with you for almost every task. Though Dottore had solely administered your medicine at first, you learned that his Fatui work kept him far more busy than you anticipated… he really was different now, huh? No longer the student you could bother all day. 
So instead, the clones had begun to share the responsibility of taking care of you, whether that be medicine, shots, check-ups, general tasks, or anything really. Nothing was off the table, considering how much you still struggled sometimes. You felt awkward at first, asking them for help, seeing as you felt embarrassed asking people who you didn’t know well, but they always seemed pleased to do it. Especially if you asked them specifically rather than another clone. So it would only be fair if you returned the energy to them.
You began with conversation. They reciprocated. You moved on to small touches. They liked that. You decided to give them each a kiss on the cheek. You probably should have thought some more about how that would affect them because there was no going back after that. Once you had shown so much interest, there was no way they weren’t going to take you up on your offer. Let’s just say it never ends with just one kiss. It ends with too much to count. So… nowadays it wasn’t unusual to find yourself on the operating table after a check-up, a segment on each side of you fighting over your attention. Perhaps one arm wrapped around your waist and another resting on your thigh… yes, very normal.
However, dealing with your health concerns wasn’t the only purpose of your beloved segments. They also had to teach you other things. 01 was on academics, as you would assume, him being the Akademiya clone and all. Well, it was less academics and more like relearning how to write properly and Teyvat’s new language. It was really hard, to be honest, to have your brain try and keep up with the sudden onslaught of new information, and for you to steady your hand from shaking so much, but surprisingly enough, 01 didn’t lose patience as quickly as you thought he would. You thought he would, considering how snappy you remember Zandik being in the Akademiya. 01 noticed your curious stare.
“What?”
“Nothing… I was just wondering why you haven’t said anything remotely snarky yet,” you hummed, leaning into the segment with squinted eyes. He rolled his eyes.
“You act as though you want me to yell.”
“Well…” you giggled at his incredulous expression before quickly retracting your statement. It was fun to tease him. And you already had a suspicion as to why he was so patient with you. That was… nice of him.
And 02… well, you weren’t exactly sure what 02 was supposed to be teaching you. He would just… talk a lot, about many different things, pace around the room as he did so, long coat fluttering after him, periodically fixing his bow tie. At the very least, he was quite knowledgeable and had experience journeying in other nations. Yes, that was what intrigued you the most out of all his rants. Especially when he spoke of his exploits in Mondstadt.
“You’re saying… you slayed a dragon? Like, killed it? It’s dead? All by yourself?”
“Indeed, I did. Though it’s a shame that-” Before 02 could finish his sentence, you could not help but jump up and clasp his hands in yours, beaming with excitement. Because really, how could you not be ecstatic at something like that? If one of Dottore’s clones could use such strength easily, it only further boggled your mind as to how strong Prime was.
“That is so, so, so amazing! I had no idea you were so strong!” Your eagerness to hear more was easily noticeable in your tone of voice. 02’s expression went blank for a few seconds, seemingly processing the sudden physical contact and how close you were to him, along with your words, before erupting into loud laughter, his very pointed teeth gleaming in the light. It suddenly occurred to the segment that this would be a perfect opportunity to unabashedly display his brilliance to you.
“Hahaha, if that story pleases you so, then you’ll be far more interested in what I have to say next. That was nothing really, hehe,” 02’s razor-sharp grin did not leave his face, nor did his hands release yours. Let’s just say 02 has a lot of tales to tell. Some were… not for the faint of heart, but you still loved them!
Though, all of the segments’ general duty was to help you regain what you’ve lost. Even the simplest things were not easy anymore. You had to come to terms that your stamina wasn’t the same. Yes, you even had to practice learning how to eat and cut up your food again. Your tongue had to adjust to the flavors of cuisine all over again. Deal with the suddenness of feeling very cold to suddenly hot. Shaking fingers and hands. You had to understand that you had stricter limits now, no longer being able to run or do certain tasks that would overexert yourself. Or sometimes you simply didn’t have the mental energy. Bathing, changing clothes, brushing your hair. Resolving yourself to get out of bed when you knew nothing you could do would amount to anything special. But… the segments helped you with everything. Every morning. Every night. And you were thankful for that.
So, all in all, your relationship with the clones was going pretty great! It's not like it couldn’t, considering how much they all adored you, to be honest. Yet, you still had not met the segment named 10. At first, it didn’t really cross your mind, but the more time you spent with the clones, the more you pondered about who the mysterious segment could be. When you asked 01, you were met with a scoff and eye roll. Hmm… guess they weren’t really a fan of him. However, your curiosities would be remedied soon enough, for there was a quiet knock on your room door a while later. 
It was so quiet as if the person was unsure about whether they wanted to knock or not. Was it one of the segments, trying to slack off work again to talk to you? You quickly opened the door and were met with… nobody. You furrowed your eyebrows before a timid voice sounded from below. 
You tilted your head down and there he was, a young child with blue hair and red eyes… that was startlingly similar to some people you knew… Then, everything seemed to click, and you instinctively knew who this mysterious child could be. It was 10. The one segment you hadn’t seen yet, the one Dottore told you not to worry about. Well, he was here now, but… that meant 10 was a clone of Zandik from when he was a child.
You were, quite frankly, shocked, because never did it cross your mind that Dottore would ever clone his child self. You couldn’t think of exactly what purpose that would serve, considering how the kid couldn’t do the same tasks his adult versions could. His perspective, perhaps? But you knew what happened to Dottore during his childhood. You clearly remember the night in the Akademiya when you told you. He didn’t want your pity, your sympathy, he spat. Despite his protests and attempts to push you away, his words were smothered when you held him close to your chest that night.
But nevertheless, it was time to put those feelings away for you must put your attention on the child in front of you, who was now fiddling with his clothes and fingers in silence. His eyes flicked back to you and the ground, his mouth opening to speak but closing it again before any words could escape, so you spoke first, crouching down to his height.
“Hello, little one. You must be Ten, am I right?” The boy perked up at the mention of his name.
“You know me?”
“Of course I do,” you smiled. “I’ve been eagerly waiting to meet you.” Those few words made 10’s face light up. It seemed like he enjoyed attention. But he still looked nervous. Based on what you knew, you guessed that he’d been hurt by adults and people in general far too much than he should have been, so he was wary about you for a while despite Dottore’s and the older segments’ adoration for you. Of course, you wanted to help him feel safe and reassured around you. And that would only happen by spending time with him.
“Would you like to come in? I have snacks we can share!” You gestured to the inside of your room, and the child looked intrigued, but still on the verge of indecision. “... And I can also read cool stories for you!” That was something kids liked, right? Well, it looked like you guessed right because 10’s whole expression changed as he nodded and suddenly invited himself into your room. It seemed like 10 wanted to trust you badly… and trust you he did.
10 was absolutely precious, more than words could describe. During the first few days, he was quiet, preferring to listen to you read the books he brought you. Sometimes you caught him looking at you, perhaps studying you. But once you continuously showed him kindness and love, the child transformed into a brand new person. He was glued to your side, and all the segments knew about it too. 10 always wanted to be near you. 10 liked the other segments, he really did, but you were the only one who was so nice to him. Ruffling his hair whenever he learned something new. Always indulging his silly little requests, drawing and coloring with him. Showing you his favorite hiding places around the lab. You were sad you couldn’t carry little 10 in your arms, but holding his hand as you two walked together was more than enough.
There was just something about 10 that was so endearing, that felt like he was healing your soul, even just a little bit. He was also extremely openly worried about you, scared that you would get winded over the simplest things. Which was a valid concern, but you reassured him you were stronger than it. It was quite sweet to see him run in front of you to open the doors for you like a gentleman, however. You also learned not to underestimate him, because 10 could truly give some of the most crushing hugs ever. In a loving way, of course. If only you didn’t need the ability to breathe, you’d let him hug you like that whenever. In other words, 10 was your baby.
But, in a way, it was strange to know that Dottore was once a child as simple as they come, although with his own eccentricities and curiosities. A child who did child things before he was deemed a monster. A child who just wanted to be held and reassured.
Regardless, lately, you've been thinking about something. Thinking about the segments’ names, to be exact. You really did love them, and so now you were starting to have an issue with calling them random numbers. They were clones, but they were still people to you… their identity was more than a number! Especially 10. You really did not want to refer to the sweet child as 10.
This had been resting on your mind for a few days and the segments noticed your contemplative expression. It was one of those days where you would just sit in the lab and watch them as they scurried about, doing their duties. It was interesting to watch. But you were caught in a daze more than normal when a voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Do tell me [Name], you seem to be in deep thought lately. What plagues your mind so?” It was 24, his deep voice resonating in your ears. It was then you realized all the other segments’ attention was on you too. Oops. Perhaps you were daydreaming too much.
“Oh… it’s nothing really,” you wondered if they would think your idea was stupid. After all, they didn’t seem to really care about being called a number.
“Nonsense,” 24 shook his head. “Speak your mind.” Well, here you go.
“How do you all feel about your name?” You asked, addressing the other segments as well. “About being called a number, I mean.” The segments looked at you a little strangely.
“I don’t really care,” one of them spoke.
“I care,” another huffed. “Why does Prime get to be called Prime while we’re nameless?”
“That’s a stupid question. It’s because he’s the creator, and we’re merely the segments.”
“It is annoying when someone mixes up our numbers and then something gets messed up with the operations. But nothing major.”
“Why do you ask, [Name]?”
“Well… I was thinking of not calling you guys numbers anymore. I just don’t like how it sounds, considering how much I know you all now, you know? I was just wondering if maybe I could give you all real names instead. But if everyone likes it the way it is now then that’s fine too.” When you finished speaking, the lab was uncharacteristically silent.
“Um… hello?” You chuckled awkwardly as you looked around to find the clones with blank looks on their faces before they all started speaking the same thing at once.
“I want the name.”
“I would like one as well.”
“Me too, dear [Name].”
“To think you would be the one to bestow me with a proper name. How fitting,” 24 smirked. Shit, even he was on board with this.
“Huh? Didn’t you all just say you didn’t care too much about it??” You could have laughed at the dramatic switch-up.
“I’ve changed my mind. Being called a number is actually quite a hindrance.” (That was mostly a lie, this segment didn’t want to admit he just wanted to own something that was given by you, and what bigger honor could be given by a name?)
“Indeed, having a real name would surely be beneficial for many reasons.” (The many reasons being that he could be happy that you gave him a new part of his identity.)
And now, all of a sudden, you had many pairs of eyes directed towards you, waiting expectantly, and you felt extremely unprepared now. What would you name them? For one, you really weren’t that good at names. And you didn’t want to name them something weird either. They were Dottore’s segments after all. It had to fit them… Think, [Name], think… think of something good right now or else you’ll disappoint these poor segments who look so pleased over a name. You then remembered a book you had skimmed through while practicing with 01, that held the letters of a certain alphabet. And suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into your head.
“I’ve got it!” You jumped up and exclaimed to the room. And then, with glee, you swung your hand and pointed it to 01. “From now on, you are no longer 01. You are Alpha.” Alpha blinked at your declaration. 
Then, you moved onto 02. “You, my dear, are Beta. And you,” your finger moving to every clone in the room. “you’re Gamma. Delta. Epsilon. Zeta.” The more you went on, the more they predicted what their name would be. “Eta. Theta. Iota. Sigma. Phi. And lastly, Omega.” You grinned pretty widely after that. That was pretty smart of you, wasn’t it?
“I see… using the letters of that alphabet also corresponds with the numbers that we were given… hehe, how clever,” Beta grinned to himself, enjoying the first few seconds of being Beta.
“And they are short and easy to remember,” Omega hummed. “Good, very good indeed, [Name].” Omega’s hands brushed your cheek, always the possessive one, while the other segments looked on in jealously. You cleared your throat.
“A-Anyways, make sure to tell everyone your new names!” And soon enough, everyone in the lab was aware of the replacement. Even Dottore, as you had made sure to tell him right after. Initially, he thought you were joking, but nope, you were one hundred percent serious. Alright then, he’d let you have your fun. He didn’t know you were this bored, to be honest. 
But it wasn’t until previously named 24 corrected him with only the word “Omega” when he referred to the segment as a number that he realized that you really did change all of their names. Well, Dottore didn’t care too much for names or numbers regarding them, it was all the same anyway, but he’s been letting you spend too much time with the clones… he’ll have to force you to sit on his lap for a while when he’s stuck doing paperwork. He’s the only one who should be the center of your attention.
There was still one last segment you had to name - your dearest 10. You were most excited to name the little boy, having wanted him to have a name to call his own the most. But, there was something that didn’t feel right. Sure, you could just give him another letter of the alphabet but 10’s one had to be… different. The child just had that much of a special place in your heart. And so you pondered and pondered until you came to a decision.
Zandy was the one who would quite literally run behind you and cling to your leg whenever another segment was near. Zandy was the one who would sit in your lap and ask you to read and explain big words to him. Zandy was the one who wouldn’t let go when he softly spoke about the nightmare he had with his hometown.
He was Zandy.
“Although the flightless butterfly found great company and love in Dottore and his segments, they still longed for the companionship of others. Thankfully, they managed to make a few friends - a friendly orange fox, a lovely white dove, and a sly snow leopard.”
There was no one that you loved and cared for more than Dottore. That was a fact that would never change no matter what he did or how much blood stained his hands or morals. His presence was one that brought comfort to you, which obviously would sound like a deranged lie to anyone else considering the kind of man Dottore was. But so be it. No one would ever understand your relationship.
But… it would also be a lie to say you didn’t long for the camaraderie of others. It had been a while since you woke up, and the urge to have a friend or two was much stronger than in the Akademiya. Perhaps the loneliness that came with your illness was getting to you. You knew you could tell anything to Dottore but… it would feel nice to have someone to chat with every now and then about mundane, funny things, to get your mind off other stuff, and not to bother your lover so often. It seemed luck would be on your side this time (how rare) because you got exactly what you wanted.
Childe was the first one who had found you first, and it was wholly a chance encounter.
You were simply going back to your room when suddenly a voice called out to you. (Speaking of, you began living in your own room instead of hogging Dottore’s one all the time. You liked it there, you really did… but it was too boring and bland, and your bed was way more comfy than the brick that was Dottore’s bed. And you were starting to adjust to life a lot more now.)
Regardless, the voice certainly wasn’t Dottore or the segments. Turning to look, it was the unfamiliar face of a blue-eyed ginger-haired man. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull.
Practically no one knew of you. The few Fatui assistants there who happened to come across you merely thought of you as another experiment, perhaps one he favored more than the rest. You didn’t talk to them, and they didn’t talk to you. Dottore’s order of others to leave you alone was understood as just another one of his cruel ways of isolating you.
Of course, this wasn’t his intention. If you want to talk to others, then you should do as you please (within reason… no one else shall be hogging your attention besides him.) He respects you. But at this point, it was simply far too risky. Even with the clones, it could be dangerous for you. And of course, not only as a scholar but your lover, he must take into account all possibilities. If there was the slightest chance you’d be hurt, he wouldn’t do it. So you were resolved to be lonely for a while.
Until now. The tall man continued walking towards you, donning a gray suit with a contrasting red mask and scarf, Hydro Vision hanging off his hip. His smile seemed friendly enough and he even raised a hand to greet you, but you were stuck with your hand on your doorknob.
“Hello, comrade. How are you doing?” He was awaiting a response but you were just stuck in the same blank expression, completely unmoving as you gaped at him.
“Are you alright?” He noticed and inquired. Oh dear. This was growing far too embarrassing for your liking. No one had ever prepared for you for what to say in these situations. Should you respond? Or leave? You decided to go with the former, opting to simply nod your head in confirmation. The ginger chuckled, playing it off as you were probably being intimidated by his Harbinger ranking, unbeknownst to him the fact you had no clue who he was.
“I was wondering if you knew the way to Dottore’s office? The segments gave me directions, but every time I come here, I always get lost. This lab is never easy to navigate,” he sighed, scratching his head. 
You raised an eyebrow at his comment. This hallway with your room was specifically hidden within the lab, woven deep between many twists and turns. You genuinely wondered how lost he had to be in order to find himself here. But more importantly, you were faced with the question of whether you should help this man or not. Surely it was okay, you were just giving him directions after all. You would be irrelevant in his mind soon enough. It wasn’t like you were craving some human interaction even though you were a bit scared of talking to people.
Decisively, you turned around and pointed forward. “Go down that way,” you began softly, “and then take two lefts, then a right, another left, then straight, and finally one more right.” You knew the way like the back of your hand, after all, you went there frequently when you were sad, happy, in pain, whatever. When you looked back, the man looked as if you had just spoken another language.
“...Thank you, comrade. Hopefully, I find it, then!” You smiled at him. He was pretty nice.
“Of course. It’s not as long of a walk as you think, too.” The man chuckled in response.
“Whatever distance is fine with me. I always welcome the extra training!” With that, he waved you goodbye and began walking in the direction you pointed him to. Ah, you didn’t ask him his name… but you probably wouldn’t see him again anyway. But he did have a Vision so he was probably fairly strong… oh well. When you were all comfy between your blankets you’d soon forget about it anyway. 
And you were right. You did forget about it once you were tucked in with a nice book to read. Until there was a knock on your door. You thought nothing of it, thinking it was a segment at your door for whatever reason. A snack perhaps. Or one of them snuck away from their duties to visit you. Or maybe even Dottore himself! Regardless, you opened your door without hesitation ready to greet them. Unfortunately for you, it was not a segment. It was not Dottore. It was the same ginger from before, standing at the entrance to your room, with that same smile except it was more apologetic this time.
“Hi there again. You see, I did follow the directions you gave me but I was unsuccessful. So I’m back here again,” the man laughed and rubbed his neck. “I was wondering if you could take me there yourself? You seem to know this place pretty well.”
Your throat went dry as you had to hide your incredulous expression. Seriously, what kind of person did he have to be to end up here not once, but twice? Though he didn’t seem to think anything of it, which was good. But it was then he took notice of the environment behind the doorway, a brief surprise flickering across his face.
“Wow, quite the room you have there.” His stature made it easy for him to peer into your room. Since there was not much for you to do with your illness, you had a lot of fun designing your room (which came out of the “Regrator’s paycheck” according to Dottore.) Your room was decorated and tailored to your preferences, whether that was posters on the wall or hanging lights, shelves lined with your special interests and hobbies. It was easily the most “normal” room in the lab like someone actually lived there. Quite unlike the clones’ room which was literally just a bed and desk. Zandik’s wasn’t much better, but you bought stuff from your room and left it in his in hopes of making it more comfy for him. Instinctively you closed the door further in.
“Maybe you should just go back and ask one of the segments,” you murmured, trying to escape the situation and inching the door closer and closer in.
“I could, but those guys would probably ignore me and give me the same directions again. They aren’t very fond of me.” Well, even you couldn’t really deny that. They didn’t really like anyone… besides you of course. “And then I would end up back here, bothering you again. And finding another agent to assist me would take even longer. And Dottore doesn’t like to be kept waiting, you know.” 
He did have a point… really, it wasn’t like you minded taking him, you were just worried about if it would have any consequences. But, when you finally got a good look at the ginger, for some reason, you didn’t feel like anything bad could possibly happen. Plus, it wasn’t like the segments had to know… maybe, just maybe, you could trust him and finally have a real human conversation with someone besides your lover and his segments. Before you could change your mind, you agreed to his proposal with newfound confidence. 
“Okay, follow me then.” Then you locked your door and the man began to follow you. Thankfully the dull-eyed man had no problem starting the conversation first.
“By the way, I don’t think I’ve got your name.”
“I’m… [Name].” For a brief second, you contemplated giving him a fake name but couldn’t think of anything good. “What is your name?” He raised an eyebrow in surprise.
“You don’t know me? I’m Tartaglia, one of the Fatui Harbingers. But you can just call me Childe.” Childe. Childe. That name sounded vaguely familiar. Childe… that was one of the guys Dottore always complained about.
“Oh, I think I’ve heard of you from Dottore.”
“Plenty of bad things, I assume. But I can promise you, I’m not as bad as he says.” You giggled a bit at that.
“Well, I’ll trust you on that.”
“But I am curious. You don’t seem like one of Dottore’s experiments.”
“Yes, I’m not.”
“So are you a Fatuus?”
“Well, I guess you can say that.” Does being Dottore’s lover make you a member of the Fatui by extension? 
“Most members of the Fatui know who the Harbingers are, you know.”
“Err, well, I’m one of his personal assistants,” you lied. “So I don’t know much about the organization itself, since he makes me stay here all the time. You know how he can be. Haha.” You didn’t know what kind of bullshit you were spewing but you just hoped it made some sense.
“Oh, you’re one of his assistants? I haven’t seen you around. I thought he goes through assistants like nothing.”
“Yeah, he does, but… I have special… skills that he likes.” You hoped that would be enough. Childe seemed to nod in understanding.
“Your clothing doesn’t seem to be one of an assistant, though.” He was referring to your casual and comfortable daily outfit.
“As I said, I am special. You know, I have privileges.” That wasn’t a flat-out lie, at least. Childe looked amused.
“How interesting.” And then the conversation moved elsewhere. Childe was still definitely a bit suspicious of you. You could tell by the way he looked at you. But he was a seemingly friendly and easygoing man. If he asked a question that you couldn’t answer, he steered the conversation elsewhere. He was a great conversationalist in general, allowing you to open up a bit despite having just met him. Childe spoke about many things, his training, some battles, his cooking (he even shared with you some new Sumerian recipes you never heard of!), and most interesting to you, the world beyond the lab. Time flew quickly and soon enough you two were outside of Dottore’s office. And you couldn’t help but admit, that was incredibly pleasant.
“Well, here we are, Childe. Dottore’s office.”
“Ah, you were right! That wasn’t as long as I thought. Thank you for your help, [Name]. I’ll go in now.” He sent you a final smile before turning around but you quickly interrupted.
“Oh! Um, by the way, it would be for the best if you kept the fact you met me a secret. Please.”
“Alright then, I will. No one will know.” You beamed in response.
“Thank you! Now, I guess… good luck with the meeting!” And then you two went your separate ways. 
You liked Childe. He was fun to talk to. And it seemed like your wish would be granted because the next week, there was a familiar knock at your door. It was Childe. Although he knew the way better now, he still wanted you to guide him “just in case.” And of course chat with you along the way. Perhaps the latter was the true purpose of his visits, but regardless, this was the start of a secret friendship between you and the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. Childe’s visits to Dottore were sporadic and you couldn’t predict when he would come, so it was a nice surprise whenever he did come around. And no one, not even Dottore himself knew. You didn’t like keeping secrets from your beloved, but it was too good to stop. But of course, all secrets are revealed in the end…
You had once again fallen asleep in Dottore’s office, refusing to leave his side and actually sleep in a proper bed. So he was carrying you back to your room to tuck you in so you wouldn’t whine to him about cramps and sores later. You’d probably complain to him about how you wanted to stay with him but he was used to it.
Dottore didn’t need to worry about being seen as these hallways were specifically hidden and practically couldn’t be found unless you were perhaps looking for them. And no one would look for them as no one besides he and his segments knew of their existence. So Dottore took the time to gaze down at you as he walked. There you were, sound asleep without a care in the world. A part of him still found it amusing how knocked out you were in the arms of a person like him. Weren’t you even the least bit concerned about what he could do? (Of course, the answer was no, because you knew he would never hurt you.)
He continued to your room with an uncharacteristic softness that would almost appear disturbing to others. At last, he reached it, without any-
… Problems, is what Dottore would have liked to say, for at your door was the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger, hand about to knock but now frozen, the two Harbingers standing silent as they stared at each other, almost comedically unmoving. Childe immediately took note of how Dottore held you in his arms bridal style, your head nuzzled into his chest and arms bunched together there as well. The soft rises of your chest signaled that you were peacefully asleep in the Doctor’s arms. There were absolutely no signs of discomfort or fear as any normal person would have around the mad doctor.
Unconsciously, he gripped your body tighter. As much as Dottore would have liked to know why and how the fuck Childe managed to get here, and somehow want to knock on your room of all doors, he was absolutely beyond the point of questions. 
“Tartaglia.” From his tone only, Childe knew he had stumbled upon something he should not have seen. “Speak of this to anyone, and not even your title will save you.”
After that little encounter, when you woke up, Dottore confronted you about what happened, and immediately couldn’t help but spill everything that happened over the course of the past few months. When you looked up at his expressionless face, you were internally scared that he would be angry with you, the silence after your confession driving you crazy, but thankfully he wasn’t. The only thing he did was sigh at your pleading face and then thumb your cheek.
“Perhaps I’ve been too harsh on you. I do remember how you liked to talk to others back then,” he hummed, which was the complete opposite of his younger self. You buried your head in his chest and looked up at him with imploring eyes. 
“So can he come over again?” Of course, Dottore’s first instinct was to reject this proposal for he didn’t want that fool to be even six feet near you, but the helpless expression you were giving him made him waver.
“I shall… think about it.” That was enough for you as you kissed him on the cheek. “At least it wasn’t the Third or the Ninth. They would be insufferable.”
“Those are the other people you always complain about,” you giggled.
“Yes, but you needn’t think about them. They won’t be coming around here anytime soon.”
Unfortunately for Dottore, it was already too late.
A few days later, there was another knock at your room door. It was almost comical at this point, you thought when you saw a young woman with numerous white accessories and a man as tall as Dottore wearing an unreadable smile at your door. Hell, you should just host a sleepover at this point.
“Well, it seems that Childe didn’t lie after all. Now I know who Dottore spends my precious Mora on behind my back,” the smiling man seemed more amused than angry if anything. Oh, so this was the guy who funded Dottore…
“You know, it was quite a challenge to get here, dear [Name]~ It’s not that easy distracting so many segments.” The girl also seemed amused and giggly. Both of them had their eyes closed with only smiles… it was an odd combination that worked.
“Um… are you Miss. Columbina and Mr. Pantalone by any chance?” You managed to piece together the names and rankings by paying more attention to the segments’ rants. The two most “nosy and annoying” people that Dottore has the displeasure of working with, apparently.
“Why, did you hear that, Lone? They know our names already! Perhaps our dear Dottore has been talking about us more than we think,” Columbina laughed, treading her fingers through her long hair, to which Pantalone chuckled along.
“Indeed, though I wonder what kind of tales he has told this one. [Name], may we come in?” The banker tilted his slightly to the side, and you had no reason to refuse. You just hoped Dottore wouldn’t be too mad. (Poor him, his dear darling being corrupted by the likes of the Damslette and Regrator. Oh well.) 
Regardless, the three of you hit it off immediately. The conversation flowed naturally, a lot of it being stories of Dottore that you had no clue about. You were surprised by how naturally everything came. Of course, the two powerful people still largely had their guards up, but it was still… nice. Fun. Perhaps the Harbingers have a little more humanity in them than most people think.
Columbina found herself around you the most. You were surprised at first - she was the Third Harbinger - surely she had much more important things to be doing besides hanging out with you. But she always laughed airly, reassuring you. She had known Dottore for a long time, she said, but never knew about you. And she would like to learn more about her newfound friend. Especially to see the annoyed expression of The Doctor when she steals too much of your time. (She loved to irritate him.)
Pantalone valued your intelligence. For some reason, he began asking you for your opinion in matters, nothing confidential of course, but still, it was notable. You were no Dottore, but the difference was that you were always willing to assist, much unlike The Doctor and his segments. And, you were greatly helpful in deciphering the confusing words of the segments and Prime himself, so Pantalone ended up taking a strange liking to you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were useful to him and his endeavors, or if he just found you amusing, or if he genuinely thought of you as a friend or just probably just an acquaintance, but no matter the reason, it was… nice to be around him every now and then. So long as Dottore wasn’t there. Otherwise, the calmness would quickly become tense instead.
Childe too, was like a little brother to you. You didn’t know why you felt that way, but you just did. He was arguably the most “normal” out of all of them (as normal as a Fatui Harbinger could be) and he was just… pleasant to be around. He was knowledgeable in the more “ordinary” aspects of life, having his own family which he loved dearly. You liked that about him. It felt silly talking to Dottore about such simple things, but not with Childe.
At the end of the day, your friends made you happy. Whether it made Dottore and his segments happy, seeing these three idiots invade the lab more often than they liked, was something you already knew the answer to. But your lover wouldn’t do anything too harsh. Not when you looked so joyful from this. So perhaps this was a small price to pay, considering how miserable you looked in the beginning.
And really, you always would belong to him, after all. Nothing would ever come in between.
“Though not everyone liked the butterfly. In particular, there was a fierce cat that always seemed to swipe at them whenever the two met.”
The Balladeer was someone whom you were used to seeing in the lab every now and then. You didn’t really care much for him in all honesty, but he certainly had taken some kind of interest in you, at least enough to say some not-so-nice things to your face. The puppet had seen you with the clones, with the Doctor himself, and the adoring looks you sent to them… he was disgusted by the notion of love to say the least, especially between you two but… he was intrigued. Scaramouche wanted to at least have a glimpse into the person who would make the Doctor leave in the middle of his beloved experiments to check on.
What he found was nothing spectacular. You were so fragile, even frailer than the young child he met all those centuries ago. You were weak, so weak. In fact, even an insect would be harder to kill than you. Useless too, he thought, and it was as if you knew it too because he’d see you beg the clones to just give you something to do, something to occupy your hands and mind. And… he found the personality and looks of all humans to be unexceptional so that didn’t help your case either. Scaramouche was practically convinced you were nothing more than a source of amusement for the Doctor, the doting only a form of his usual cruel manipulation. Again, you didn’t care for his theories, but his voice did grate on your ears.
Though, this time, the Sixth Harbinger had caught you on a bad day. There was no particular reason why you were having a bad day. It was just one of those days, where everything seemed to bother you. Not to mention you felt your illness was acting up more than usual… going on a walk around the lab’s endless corridors always seemed to free your mind up though.
Though of course, you were accustomed to things not going your way.
“Well well, look who we have here. The Doctor’s little plaything,” Scaramouche mocked. Oh, it was just your luck. Out of all the deserted halls, he had to be in this one. You decided to try and simply ignore his words, yet in an instant, the Harbinger was in front of you.
“I really don’t see what he sees in you,” he narrowed his eyes at you. “What kind of amusement does he use you for?”
“... I would appreciate it if you left me alone.” Scaramouche scoffed in response.
“Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but the Doctor has no capacity for feelings or emotions. Anyone close to him will meet a nasty end. Do you really think you’re any different?” The Balladeer smirked.
“...” Normally you would just turn a blind eye, but you were just so annoyed with everything today.
“What’s wrong? You’re usually so lively and talkative-”
“Look,” you finally interrupted, “just because you’re pissed with the world doesn’t mean you have to bother me with your delusions,” you snapped, fed up with his bickering with you. Hell, your life was no sparkles or rainbows but you didn’t go around making everyone miserable because of it. “At least my husband didn’t abandon me for crying, unlike someone else’s mommy.” It was only after the words had come out of your mouth that you realized what you said.
For a few seconds, there was a tense silence in the corridor. The expression on the puppet’s face made you stiffen. Oh fuck.
“How dare you, you insignificant-” Before the Balladeer could hurl any more insults at you, a stern voice interrupted him.
“I suggest you speak to them in a more respectful tone, Scaramouche.” The sudden intrusion made both you and Scaramouche jump. Neither of you had sensed the Doctor’s presence, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere as he loomed over Scaramouche. “Any further language will not be tolerated.”
For a split second, Scaramouche froze but quickly regained his usual demeanor, his ever-present scowl and balled fists returning. “Whatever,” he flipped around mumbling some more curses under his breath, the back of his hat swaying with every movement. In no time, it was just you and Dottore in the hallway, and he was staring right at you.
“How long?”
“Well-” you were going to try and blow it off as nothing important but the look he was giving you made you realize that he wouldn’t take that as an answer. “A w-while now,” you admitted. Dottore was silent for a few moments before he spoke.
“He will be dealt with accordingly,” Dottore promised as he cupped your cheek.
“...Okay,” you murmured, leaning into his touch. You knew that this wasn’t exactly right. You knew that later today you’d hear the screams of the puppet echoing throughout the lab. But as the warmth of Dottore’s hand permeated your cold skin, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
“The butterfly’s life seemed to be going well. A partner who loved them along with multiple segments. Friends who spent time with them. But in reality, life was much harder and dim for them than they outwardly showed sometimes. In fact, the butterfly found themselves plagued by dreams. They weren’t nightmares, but when they woke up, it certainly felt like one. Or when they did have genuine nightmares, they felt the same unease and wept about their unfortunate situation.”
Ah. Nahida was at this part of the tale. Though she would always disapprove and be the enemy of you and the Doctor, the kind God couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy for you. In all of her wisdom, even she had no information of your illness. Not to mention your loneliness… she too, was lonely once, when she was trapped all by herself in the Sanctuary. But at the very least, she was able to visit others through dreams.
You, on the other hand, had no such escape. Trapped forever in your own body, with not much to be done… your own dreams serving as torment instead… how tragic, Nahida admits. But nonetheless, the Dendro Archon gets herself ready to continue the fairy tale she’s crafted.
467 notes · View notes
kaixserzz · 6 months
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synopsis: gaining freedom makes you realize how hard it is to keep it. and, despite everything, you need to ask dottore for a favor to make sure your plan works. just what will he say?
pairing: dottore x gn! reader word count: 2.8k warnings: reader wears heels but is gn!, one half-way suggestive comment at the end.
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Truth be told, there are absolutely zero reasons why you should be walking up these stairs. Okay, there are absolutely zero good reasons why you should be here. There are some, well a few – okay, there is only one bad reason why your heels are making noises trying to find a certain irritating doctor.
But, you cannot be blamed. Rather, you should not be blamed. Signing up to be a harbinger or being picked to fill in the eight position, it meant blame. You are to be blamed for your allegiance, you are to be blamed as the future destroyers of the old world, and, of course, you are to be blamed as the helper of calamity in the eyes of your enemies.
However, your family did not blame you for that specific choice. They were happy. Becoming a harbinger was just another step in them gaining domination on the social ladder. The closer you are to the wishes of your ruler, the closer you are to the grace and benevolence she extends. And, if the mirror of history reflects back on you as one of those who stood by her side – it will reflect power. The consequences or missions that became successful or fell apart will only come secondary.
If your focus is power that serves grace and idyllic ice – that means you are power. And, by extent, it means your family grows more powerful for every good mission you complete; grows in social standing for every fear you manage to strike into someone’s bones.
However, you think there is just one thing you should be grateful for when it comes to having this position. Others do not notice it, but you certainly do. Since your family wanted domination over other families, it meant they wanted domination over you. When you really think about it – it spreads like poison. If they raise you from the start to fear them, you will never disobey. If you blossom, it will be because they shaped your thorns and leaves to suit their tastes – they shaped you to bloom on their terms and on their soil. Disobeying them became impossible, but thanks to the benevolence of ice – you found freedom.
That freedom did not come easy. Being allowed to choose your own meals was a grace you never had before. Being allowed to steal Dottore’s pudding because he did not want it showed you how other humans live. Holding hands with Columbina while she walked down a dark corridor and hearing her sing for simple joy were things you swore to never take lightly again. Capitano giving you a nod and a ‘job well done’ showed you how ‘normal’ people congratulate others. Your family always said ‘You satisfied us’ no matter how much trial and turbulation you put in. All of these simple freedoms made you know larger ones.
The freedom to leave this nation and go to another one. The freedom of sitting in a simple restaurant with your shoulders slouched and drinking mint tea became insurmountable in your mind.
But, as these simple freedoms added up to your heart and spirit; to the very fabric of your soul; so did your simple rebellion against those that forced you to bloom on their terms. They found faults in you but in reality, there was very little they could do to stop it.
It made you too careless – too proud. They were smart and they managed to lure you into a trap you would only describe as the most intricate of webs inside an illusionary dream. They hooked you because you got prideful. Cornered you with another decision you would have to listen to.
And, in the end, it led you here. Led you to having to seek out a man who said you were ‘pretty pathetic and without grace’ just for taking the pudding he did not want to eat. Nobody annoyed you more that Dottore did when it came to the harbingers. But, nobody else came to mind when you thought of ways to solve this problem.
You had to give it to him – for how annoying he was, he was also efficient in everything he did. What other harbinger returned with two gnoses instead of one? How insufferable!
There is one good reason you are walking up these stairs to get to his lab. Just one. Your freedom.
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“We understand that you are a Harbinger.” “What a grammatical mistake. I am a Lord Harbinger – your Lord Harbinger.”
When you climbed the stairs, his obnoxious servants offered you tea and made you sit at a small, circular table.
“We will not apologize because we assure you that what you consider a mistake is our order. We serve Lord Dottore – the Doctor – we do not serve you or any of the other harbingers. While we respect you, we do not bow down to you. Lord Second is a very peculiar man you see. We respect you, but we do not bow down to you.” “Are you saying he ordered you to only refer to him as a lord?” “No, but, it was heavily implied based on previous happenstance.”
You took a sip of the gray concoction. These people were too used to mixing potions and elixirs that you were not sure if that should explain the bad taste of this tea, or, if it should only make it more confusing.
“It is so clear which harbinger you serve. You are almost as annoying as he is with all of your peculiar words and behavior.”
They did not reply to the direct nature of your insults. They did not even flinch. You suppose nobody could be more creative with their insults than Dottore. That made your current predicament more unnerving. This gray concoction did not help considering how old it had gotten. There was nothing that could soothe your nerves. If he called you pathetic and without grace for taking pudding he did not want, what would he say to your next request? What creative spin would his wit grace you with now?
All you could do was wait until he was finished with his current experiment. Nobody ever visited his lab like this…perhaps he would be glad to see you? You should definitely show a big interest in his current work to soften him up just a bit before asking for your favor. It should help, right?
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The door to his lab opens once you are on your second slice of a semi-stale strawberry cake. The air it sends your way makes you get goosebumps all over. You don’t dare imagine how cold it actually was inside that room nor how long he spent in it. But, to your lovely surprise, he looks clean. Looks like this experiment was different than the usual ones. Yes! You could lead with that and win him over!
“Well, Doctor, looks like this experiment was different than the usual ones.”
Dottore stands still after closing the door as if surprised by your voice. Then he throws on the usual smirk as he takes off his gloves and makes his way towards you.
“Ah, look who is here. A lost kitten it would seem. I would ask to what do I owe the pleasure but all of you are the same.”
The eloquent servant from earlier puts down a chair for him across from you. It is of higher quality. Another one brings Dottore his warm tea and you can see the strawberry cake on his plate is fresh when compared to yours. How clearly but subtly they show favoritism impresses you even in such a situation. You would never ask this of your subordinates but everyone has their rules. Dottore sits down and rises his eyebrow.
“Tell me what you need and be quick about it. I can’t promise I will decide to help you but you can ask.”
Ah, here it is, the moment you have been dreading. The cold gray mixture in your ornamental cup suddenly seems like the most delicious thing to drink if only to avoid his inquiry. Your freedom is on the line. How will you save it if you do not even feel free to ask Dottore to help your cause?
Instead of taking one sip, you take three and Dottore finds it amusing to see you squirm. The signs of your nervousness are so subtle that his servants miss them but he can clearly tell you would constantly hit the tiles with your heel by bouncing your leg if only he was present.
“Well, I called you a kitten but it seems like the cat has got your tongue. If you are here to ask for some pudding, I am afraid that they did not serve it today.”
Asshole. It is better than being called pathetic but by what price?
“Dottore, I need to…”
You remembered that his other servants were still in this room.
“Are you unaware you aren’t allowed to attend the meetings of your lords? Scram.”
Dottore had to hold in a laugh at your authoritative display. They would not leave just because you said it. They dispersed once Dottore moved his head in the direction of the door.
“I suppose you are not here to take any sweets considering how serious this matter is for you.”
There it is. You are bouncing your leg. He can’t hear it but he can see the way the tablecloth moves ever so slightly on your side. What could be troubling you so? Seeking him out is usually the last line of resistance for most people – harbingers especially. It means that they are not strong enough on their own.
“I have something very important to ask you.” “That has been obvious all this time. So why don’t you go ahead and say it?”
Asshole. He could at least give you a bit more time. Maybe his experiment went sour? So he has no patience for you? No, just him drinking tea here means he is patient and giving you time.
Your leg begins to bounce in a more noticeable way. Your desire for freedom is tied to the way your heart beat quickens. Your pulse and eyes that blink more while looking at the horrible – tasteless – gray matter in front of you are all signals to show how hard this is. But, with your freedom on the line – you force yourself to dare and ask this sarcastic man for help.
“Dottore, you need to hear me out.” “And what have I been doing so far, exactly, If not that?” “Just.. just, listen, just answer my next question and don’t talk until I ask it, okay!?”
Dottore scoffs but finds it too intriguing to stop you.
“To be honest, I need you to do me a big favor.”  
He does not say anything.
“You may be..familiar..with my particular circumstances when it comes to my family and how they raised me. The whole tyranny of it all if you will.”
Dottore knows. Obviously he does.
“Well, recently, by their words – I have been acting out and they found a solution to make me return to the way I was before. And I need you to do me a favor to make sure they don’t have their way.”
Here it comes. The moment you have been dreading over. Surely you have to act quick but even now it does not come easy to just say the request. The request is too much. He will reject you surely. But, you still have to ask! Those who do not ask, get no answers. Those who do not seek, get lost before they begin. You have to do it. You simply must!
“Dottore…” are some pipes leaking somewhere? Or is that just the sound of your ears ringing from being this nervous?
“Please, please, crash my wedding next weekend!”
As you say it – the sound in your ears stops. The leaking is suddenly no more. Everything goes quiet and seconds feel way longer than they usually would. Dottore isn’t saying anything. You closed your eyes when asking him so you must look like a fool. But, that is simply a normal reaction to fear. His rejection would clearly be shown on his face immediately. Nobody can blame you for prolonging the answer like this.
But, Dottore isn’t saying anything. And, when you open one of your eyes in hesitation, he throws his head back laughing. It reminds you of a small child who just heard the silliest joke in their life. Kids on playgrounds look like him. You have never seen him this joyful. He might be laughing at you but the sound causes you to open up both of your eyes and to take him in. To take in the joy he is radiating. Even if it is at your expense.
“You have a wedding next weekend? Your wedding? And you are asking me to crash it?”
Dottore continues to laugh and he covers his mouth with his hand. Courtesy, you think. The laughter dies down and he removes it once it is over.
“My apologies. This was simply just too unexpected for me to hear.”
You can see his shoulders move up and it is clear he is trying not to snicker.
“I am glad something made you laugh truly for once but it really isn’t that funny! My freedom is on the line here!” “And you suppose your freedom will be saved by letting it entangle with a man such as myself? On your wedding day nonetheless? What an interesting world you have going on in that brain of yours.” “Are you agreeing or not? I need to know as soon as possible.” “Why the rush? Oh, it is only in a matter of few days after all. Who is the lucky fellow?” “Some schmuck from another family my parents are fond of.” “Wow, not even a name?” “The name does not matter. What matters is that you crash it and I can remain free.” “Ohh, quite the big prize you are after. Your freedom. For heaven’s sake, you are a harbinger. You can say no.” “It isn’t as easy as that you blue-haired-iduolon—uhm, I mean, you brilliant researcher. I can’t simply say no. They would find another man to throw my way who would work for their cause.” “And you think me crashing your wedding would prevent that?” “Of course it would! Everyone knows your reputation! Not even they would dare to challenge me if you crash the wedding and show interest in me.” “Show interest in you? You might have to pay an even bigger price. Crashing a wedding is one favor. Showing interest in you is a completely different one. What? Should I pretend to be your obsessive lover who cannot believe the charade?” “…Could you?” “Could I? It is indeed possible to do that with my talents but…would I? That is a completely different matter altogether.”
For whatever reason when your shoulders slouch you find that touching the surface of the gray tea with your index finger seems like an appropriate thing to do at this moment.
“Ugh…then I need to think of another way to get out of this predicament. I have no desire to be controlled again.” “No human being does I suppose.” “Your wisdom is not helping after you just rejected my request you know.” “Ah, you wound me with such a cold tone. It was rather cute when you were begging for my help.” “I never begged. I simply asked.” “Maybe that was your mistake. I do love to see people begging me to do them a favor nobody else can. Shouldn’t you know that by now?” “….How twisted can you be?” “So twisted that you would think of me first for your absurd idea. Isn’t that in fact what brought you here?” “…You were just waiting to use that one weren’t you?”
You sigh once. You sigh a second time. And just when you think it is all over – Dottore slides the plate with his fresh cake in front of you. Maybe this is his consolation? People like him are never good at expressing it a regular way.
“It isn’t pudding you always steal but it should do the trick.” “Thanks….But I won’t get on my knees to beg for your help with this. I already did more than enough.”
Dottore hums.
“You are right. That can wait after I help you. You need to show me your gratitude somehow after all.”
Your whole face lights up. You stand up from your chair and it is so sudden that your hand touches the soft cake instead of the table.
“Do you really mean it Dottore? Do you?!”
He can’t help but be amused by you. Dottore takes out his handkerchief and holds your hand. He wipes off the frosting and the strawberry pieces very slowly. He always looks focused on his tasks and for whatever reason the display makes you cold hands heat up.
“Settle down. I just think crashing a wedding might be fun. And, you would have to repay your debt anyway. Surely, those two are enough to excite me for some time.”
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a/n: Thank my professor who made us mad cus I could use the time from him not deciding to let us in online to write this piece
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