kaelsleftverdantsphere
Sage Just Finished Heavensward
he's gay, your honor, i saw it with my own two eyes
its true i was his left verdant sphere
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Hey Genesis,
Who has the smoothest brain in SOLDIER?
Thanks,
Salty
Dear Salty,
As I type this, I'm staring at SOLDIER 2nd Class Zack Fair calling his own phone from his phone to locate his lost phone. He is a brilliant young man and we admire him very much, but sometimes he is possessed by the same demon that possessed Sephiroth to wear a thicker uniform coat in the winter instead of adding another layer beneath his previous coat.
Cordially,
Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER 1st Class
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what would it be like if the firsts lived together?
They did live together. Once. Right after Angeal and Genesis made First Class, SOLDIER grew in numbers, and the living quarters were still under planning and construction. They shared a spacious three bed, three bathroom apartment later reserved for Thirds to share. Angeal still dubs it "the worst 14 months of his life"
• Genesis had his own cereal, but thought theft tasted better, so he used to steal Sephiroth's cereal and the two would have a physical altercation over rainbow loops.
• Angeal thought Genesis was a neat freak until he met Sephiroth, who made a color-coded spreadsheet to track the frequency of dusting different areas of the house. Sephiroth liked to passive-aggresively wipe down counters after someone had been in the kitchen, and took pictures of Angeal and Genesis as they were actively making messes to hold them accountable later. Apparently Sephiroth still has a scrapbook of photos to this day, which he labeled "Why I live alone."
• Angeal was the type to leave out a dirty mug Genesis used and never washed for days on end, refusing to let Sephiroth wash it, all to prove a point. Sephiroth would cave and wash the dirty mug when she wasn't looking. Genesis knew this, which is why he would continue to use the mug and leave it out. The same mug remained in the sink for all 14 months they lived together.
• Sephiroth is an insomniac and liked to fix himself meals at 3AM, which would give Genesis a green light to practice the fucking flute, also at 3AM. Angeal had never experienced true rage until he heard a half-assed flute version of O Fortuna while Sephiroth was actively beating a stake with a meat hammer.
• Angeal would refuse to cook for them as a protest if he found half-eaten food in the garbage.
• Angeal was also no saint, and his alarm used to be a loud guitar riff meant to get him motivated and out of bed in the morning. The first time Sephiroth was startled awake by loud rock music at 5AM, he thought it was Genesis. So he threw open Genesis' door and attacked him.
• Sephiroth had the tendency to leave all the lights on, even in rooms he wasn't in. This drove Genesis and Angeal insane, and they berated him so much for it that Sephiroth started to walk around the apartment with a jumbo flashlight. He would flash it directly in their faces when talking to them because he's petty.
• Angeal had a tendency to bring over any strange item or piece of furniture he found at yard sales or on the side of the road. Angeal couldn't understand how Sephiroth thought the giant, stained beanbag chair shaped like an eye he got at a yard sale for 3 gil was junk. He also couldn't comprehend why Genesis didn't want the antique vanity Angeal got for free at the flea market because the owner thought it was haunted.
• Everyone had different scent preferences and refused to compromise. This is why the apartment smelled like Banora White Apple candles, Ocean Mist, and Tropical Berry simultaneously. It smelled like ass.
• Sephiroth enjoys his peace, but couldn't meditate when Angeal was screaming at the baseball game on TV while Genesis was using a karaoke machine to recite Loveless. His Root Chakra is still damaged to this day.
• Sephiroth had to find out the hard way what a tie on a closed door meant, and that not all screams mean someone is in danger.
• Genesis had a phase where he would bring over random people from his nights out. The amount of breakfasts Sephiroth had with half-dressed women and men singlehandedly developed his conversational skills.
• Angeal used to have this mentality of "I'm the responsible one, which means I can take things without asking." He took Sephiroth's hair brush without asking once and forgot to put it back. Sephiroth retaliated by bending Angeal's favorite stainless steel pan. Genesis had to separate them, an exhilarating experience he never wants to go through again because the pan and the hairbrush were used as weapons.
• Genesis couldn't understand why Sephiroth and Angeal didn't want his "artistic french films" playing while they were in the room. Angeal's argument was "If I wanted to see balls while I'm cooking dinner, I would make this lasagna in the locker room at SOLDIER."
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*On the couch in the break room*
Sephiroth: Genesis, how close do you think we are as friends?
Genesis: I would give you my left tit if you needed one.
Sephiroth:
Genesis:
Sephiroth: Why would I need your left breast?
Genesis: Are you scared of the word tit?
Sephiroth: No.
Genesis: Than say it.
Sephiroth: I just did.
Genesis: Breast and tit are not the same thing.
Sephiroth: They both mean breasts, however the word you used is vulgar and unnecessary.
Genesis: Breasts and tits are not the same thing in the way hotdogs are not sandwiches.
Sephiroth: The longer I speak to you the more I'm convinced you were baptized in orange soda as an infant.
Genesis: I'll give you an example—you have breasts, I have tits.
Sephiroth:
Genesis:
Sephiroth: Pray tell the difference.
Genesis: Breasts are standard and unexciting. Tits are whimsical and fun.
Sephiroth: You're saying I'm standard and unexciting?
Genesis: I'm saying your tits are standard and unexciting.
Sephiroth: You just said I have breasts.
Genesis: So now you're offended that you don't have tits.
Sephiroth: Genesis we're men. Neither of us have tits.
Genesis: HAHA I MADE YOU SAY IT
*Sephiroth hits him with a couch cushion*
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Maybe I’m stating the obvious here, but the reason I love ASG/AGS (whichever way you want to order it) so much is because the dynamic has the potential to be so delectable. It’s essentially two strong, confident, stoic looking gay/bi/pan (whatever floats your boat) men with there bratty bottom androgynous king of a boyfriend and I love it.
Like Angeal and Sephiroths love language with each other is silent support and gentle touch. They are both pretty low-key outside of their apartments and at work, but their comfortable enough to lean on each-other in a restaurant booth or hold hands in a mall. But they are not massive on PDA.
Unless Genesis is involved.
Because they are both fucking fools for that man. At work they put their foot down on professionalism. But they are powerless to stop him sprawling over them in restaurants, or messing with their fingers at dinner, or obnoxiously kissing them in broad daylight in the middle of a shopping district.
They have no power against holding him at the waist while he browses book shelves. There’s no struggle put up when he eats from their fork, or puts his feet in their lap.
And it’s 100% because they’re whipped.
Don’t think Genesis doesn’t know exactly the effect he has on his partners, because he knows. He abuses his power on them all the time cause he knows he’ll get what he wants from them when they get home. He knows their not actually mad, and that he can poke and kiss and prod all he likes cause his boys loooove him.
He can be as obnoxious as he wants because Sephiroth secretly likes showing him off. He can push his luck as far as he wants because Angeal is amused by it.
And on the occasion he pushes too far they tell him plain and simple and 9/10 times he sobers and stops pushing. The other one time is what leads to the training room incident.
Now don’t get me wrong, Gens strong and capable in his own right but he likes his position in his relationship because it’s a position of power. It’s not a healthy way to view it, but nothing about these losers are healthy.
Gen likes that he can get Sephiroth on his back by asking. He likes that Angeal will drop extra training with the puppy for a simple one word text. He adores that he’s the only one that gets to see them be sweet on eachother. That he’s the only one who gets to watch.
Gen likes the power and the privilege of being able to look a Sephiroth fan girl straight in the eye and crush her dreams. He likes the fact that Angeal fans activly despise their relationship because “he’s so bitchy! Why would someone like commander Hewley date him!?”
Gen knows the answer to that question. But he doesn’t kiss and tell 😘.
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The bottom panel without the dialogue XD:
And a little ‘merch’ page because a) I couldn’t include the fuzzy slippers in the comic (a travesty, I KNOW) but had to make up a pair because YES. And b) I love and want that Red Leather tee for me.
Finally a BIG, HUGE, RIDICULOUSLY FLAILING OF ARMS shout out to @altocat and their anonymous ask friend for providing the inspiration for this whole thing. Thank you I 🖤 you. X
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It will forever stand out to me that, of the 3 original top 1st Class SOLDIERS, rich kid Genesis is the one that snapped first.
Not biological experiment child soldier never really had a dad Sephiroth,
Not poor kid joins the army and tries to maintain a code of morals and honor in the middle of a war spawned from politics Angeal,
But the hero complex rich boy with the apple trees in his yard and an obsession with an unfinished opera Genesis.
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Aerith being very unimpressed when Zack tells her about his friends Ange, Gen, and Seph.
Aerith being very confused when Ange, Gen and Seph are not three beautiful women, but in fact three himbos.
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Angeal: I don't know why you're always teasing me about being a dad. You're the biggest irresponsible mom friend I know.
Genesis: That's ludicrous.
*Sephiroth walks up to him with a hair tie and silently hands it to him*
Genesis: Ponytail?
*Sephiroth nods*
*Genesis neatly ties his hair up and fixes Sephiroth's collar before sending him on his way*
Genesis: Now where was I? Oh yeah. That's ludicrous.
Angeal:
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Sephiroth: Let’s not genesis this into a worse situation than it already is.
Angeal: *nod*
Genesis: Did you just use my name as a verb?
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Wait I didn’t know they added Arthas as a hero in Overwatch
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i really believe that discussing the character with someone who shares ur interpretation is the closest u can get to modern day philosophy. we are like plato and aristotle but talking about a fictional guys trauma
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I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD
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i keep forgetting i need to start back on tumblr. here, have the little guy in one of my latest attempts at mastering rendering
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