why the fuck was he kinda cooking with that bumpersticker

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

hes definitely not chicken

i love him

spongebob pantyshot

hey girl *starts bleeding out all over ur bathroom floor*

“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

wait guys. reblog this and tell me what the last movie you watched was. bonus points if you add a short review <333

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

How I feel posting

guy who has chronic pain and fatigue: man why can't i do more stuff

Walking around the apartment going "butter dog... he's the one with the butter" in my best anime dub boy protagonist voice until my roommate kills me oppa gruesome style