k-jay22 - Tumblr blog

k-jay22 · 2 years

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I held your hand

I held your hand on that pretty Sunday mid evening.

You talked and talked about the days when I was young. I let you reminisce on when you'd pick me up from school as a child, even though I couldn't quite remember the events myself. I told you my future plans, and you explained you once had the same passion as I did.

I held your hand on that pretty Sunday mid evening.

I told you as much information as I could about the past five years of my life that you'd missed for silly little reasons that aren't important now. You smiled, and you laughed about the time I told you I was fired from my first proper job. We talked about how bright the sun Shawn through your curtain draped bedroom window.

I held your hand on that pretty Sunday mid evening,

sat cross legged on your bedroom floor. My legs ached from the pois I held , but I didn't care. We looked at the pictures you had on your bedroom wall of the beatles. And in my mind I had replayed the times where you'd make us all stand in a circle in your living room, while you'd dance in the middle of our glee, singing out your favourite songs to the top of your lungs without a care in the world.

I held your hand on that pretty Sunday mid evening.

You told me you had more time. You spoke for the future, although I was uncertain. I told you I'd see you again, because I really thought I would.

I held my hand today, on this pretty Saturday mid evening,

and wished I was holding yours. It hadn't even been a full Callander week that had gone by when I listened to the words of our loved ones tell me you'd left us all for good. I ran down the stairs, and I locked myself in the small bathroom and cried. I knew that your time was coming, but the shock was as forceful as ever. My lungs felt deflated. I felt like I couldn't breath. I held the frail body of my sister today, and I let her cry in my arms. She'd been trying to keep her pain in, but I knew it wouldn't last. We begged to be able to say goodbye too you, although you wouldn't be present to hear or see us. Our pleas weren't answered. Our goodbyes were given in the form of our loved ones while we stayed behind In composure.

I held my hand today on this pretty Saturday mid evening

and I listened to all the songs you used to know. My eyes fixated on the last picture we ever took together. Some time in June 2016.

Tomorrow, I will hold my hand marking a whole week since the last time I physically saw you present and cognitive. I'll remember our last conversation, and I'll treasure the look on your face when you first saw me walk though your bedroom door and told me how grown up and good I looked. I'll keep those with me forever, like the Polaroids I wear on my bedroom wall, as constant reminders that you were here, and I'll miss you for just as long.

Grandad - 5/3/2022

#poetry #heartfelt

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