Baby boomer: You kids don't know how hard we had it! Everyone had to use the Library to get information and we didn't have cell phones!

Me: Literally everyone I know my age wants to die but okay

School: haha there is no need for students to be stressed out about the exams .....,,,,, they r well prepared if they did the 12 hours of homework daily

Students: if i throw myself down these stairs i have three more weeks to study

hi!! just saw that u lived in gorman at umass and was wondering if u liked it there / better than van meter? im an upcoming freshman n tryna find out where i want to live

hey!! Gorman is nice because it’s smaller and a little quieter than other central dorms, if you like that. I have some friends in Van Meter and it seems like the rooms are a little bigger there, and they have walk-in closets (jealous lol), but I’d check the floor plan measurements. You’d also be walking up that huge hill. Central in general has a more laid-back vibe, and there’s a lot of outdoor space, really beautiful. Hope this helped. Good luck wherever you decide on living!

Why are colds like

One Nostril: I’m cool

Other Nostril: They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out… they are coming.

im a screamer..not sexually just life in general

Friend: “Got any weird fetishes?”

Me:

we all went through something when they played hallelujah in shrek

God’s not dead 2 is so fucking ridiculous, like Christians are constantly fucking jizzing to idea of them being persecuted and going to “war” like, there is no war on Christianity, people of other religions asking for respect and equal ground is not fucking violence

mutuals please hmu if you change ya url’s. yall be goin from rainbows-and-muffins to traphousehomicide i cant keep up with this shit

tfw u gotta tilt ya phone at the right angle so your family can’t see the sin

Me: *sees an acorn on the ground* I really don't need this

Me: *shoves it in my pocket anyway along with the 10 other acorns I've found*

i hate when light-haired girls are just sitting there complaining like "omg my legs are SO hairy!"

when in reality they look like this:

and i’m just sitting there like:

when ur trying to practice self care but you’re lowkey pleading for death’s mercy

me: [does something questionable or unhealthy] lol 

friend: [does something questionable or unhealthy]

me: Mom Friend Mode™ Activated