justformeg
Starting from scratch.
And soon enough, I would be starting all over again.
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Nine years ago, this question was posted on my wall:
What is love?
I answered by saying his name.
He answered, “Ika ampo aku. 😀”
I’m sure he have his new definition now. After what he went through.
As for me? Love is...
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“It’s hard for my wounds to be healed by the very same man who put them there.”
-Rosie Dunne
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Tiana and Julian.
Photo grabbed from his account. Taken April 18, 2009.
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E ku balung atin palang post nang makanini, 11 years ago.
Balamu kapilan pa mu...
Nung sagutan mu la kaya ngeni den, nanu kayang manaliwa?
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“When you came back into my life, I realized two things: First, that I never stopped loving you. You were my first love, and I have loved you since the day I met you...”
Charlie Wu, China Rich Girlfriend, 211
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A simple yet hard favor to ask of you because I really want to be there to witness your goal coming into life... when that time comes.
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Ma-try nga... kahit minsan lang ma-experience ko.
All married or engaged or dating couples (*none of the above*). Make this your status and answer honestly if you can. 💑
Who’s older? Me (21 days)
Who's sweeter? Him (he knows nahihiya ako maginitiate after ko maginitiate nung una...)
Who was interested first? Him (may ka-MU akong iba, di ko siya pansin)
Most sensitive? Me (he apologizes first kahit ako ang mali)
Worst temper? Me, then Him (he started before we first broke up...)
Loudest? Me! (“Volume mu.” *sabay tuning down parang may radyo sa harap niya*)
Funniest? Him (do you even know?)
More Sociable? Him siguro (lalo na ngayon. No exemptions kahit nakakulong ka)
Most Stubborn? Him (you know why. *winks*)
Wakes up first? Him (I think he wakes up on my second alarm, when he’s in the...)
Stays up late? Me, naturally (I’m a night owl. He stays up late only when needed. *drinks coffee*)
Bigger Family? Me (4 siblings, 3 going 4 pamangkins; him - 3 siblings, 1 pamangkin)
Better Driver? Me (I’ve never seen him driving but he did with me. So, ako muna)
Better Cook? Him (I don’t cook. I prefer baking)
Better Dancer? Him (because I’m happy... clap along if you feel like a room without a roof)
Better Singer? Him (lalo na ngayon!!! Nakaka-in love lang lalo)
Better Swimmer? Me (I got higher grade in swimming class)
Nicest one? Him (kaya ikaw naging standard ko)
Most annoying? Him (now you know, but you don’t even know why)
Who falls asleep during a movie? None, I think (definitely not me. This is supposed to be “Who fallls asleep when texting each other? Him!)
Cries over a sad movie? Both (I think it depends on the movie we’re watching)
Who’s most likely to buy clothes? Him (whenever we’re at the mall... dati.)
Who's most likely to buy shoes? Me (shoe strip. *grins*)
Keeps their mouth shut when they’re upset? Him (kaya ako natatakot, eh. Kasi isip ko mawawala ka na naman, iiwan ako sa ere with maraming unanswered questions na may halong self pity)
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Ironic.
Why?
Balang Duminggu arapan ke ing takut ku. Ing takut na e ku siguradu nung atanggap ku nang buu patie dintang na ing aldo.
Pari.
Ngening maka enhanced community quarantine, physically, e ku makapunta pisamban, e ku makasimba, e ku makakanta at e ku makatanggap Holy Communion.
A-miss ku ing mag-attend ampo magserve, angyang balang duminggu pilit kung arapan ku ing takut ku.
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“I don’t know if it is really a sin to [still] fall in love with [my ex-boyfriend who is now] a seminarian, but if it’s really one, then I’d rather commit it, than to never love him.”
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Year-ender Thanks
2019’s about to end. It has been a greatful, fruitful and a blessed year for these reasons:
1. March: Ran my very first full marathon. I still don’t know if I can ever do it again. But overall, of course, it was an achievement.
2. March: Organized my very first hike at Bontoc - Mt. Fato and Mt. Kufafey - tagging along my hiking friends and co-workers (they’re my friends, too).
3. May: Got my own car, Argo. On the other hand, we let go of War, the family’s car for 22 years. Argo was named by Justin. It was a nice suggestion, considering how he arrived at that name. I always commend him for that.
4. May: My first long drive and Argo’s break in, in Manaoag. Mama’s been able to travel, too.
5. June: Another break in in Tagaytay, this time with my co-worker friends. Poor thing I was only able to drive Tagaytay-Nasugbu, because aside from having dysmenorrhea, I am not yet prepared to drive in Manila. But on our way home, I drove NLEX.
6. June: My first ever drive to Parañaque, and yes, passing through the trending EDSA. Thank you very much Waze for keeping me from being lost. Returning from Pampanga, it rained. Very hard.
7. July: Got to see my favorite childhood boyband, Westlife, perform on stage. I suffered two months of cough afterwards, I thought something’s wrong with me. My fault I did not seek the doctor immediately.
8. September: Been part of our company’s Family Day committee as drone and live feed assistant.
9. October: Received the best gift from Justin.
10. October: Explored Bali with my youngest sister, and also my first international travel with her. We enjoyed everything we did, except for that airport staff who asked for a tip in exchange for helping us without knowing that there should be a consideration.
11. November: Celebrated my fifth year with my employer. I am most excited to get my service plaque.
12. December: Participated again in CILA Christmas Chorale Competition, and finally, we were hailed as the grand winner. New members were recruited in lieu of those who left the company and those who did not able to participate this year.
13. December: We were one of those who were able to watch SEA Games in New Clark City - swimming (paid) and athletics (free).
14. December: I felt beautiful at this year’s Admin Christmas Party, for the theme was evening gown. The hair and make up was really superb, as it was done professionally.
15. December: I received an additional performance gift from my employer for having an exemplary performance at work during the year. I still think I don’t deserve it, though.
16. December: Been able to be part of our company’s Christmas Party committe as in-charge in the registration.
17. December: Returned to Sagada after more than 3 years after I first set foot. That was really a long zigzag drive, like Bontoc. I am thinking of returning again and I don’t know when. But hopefully, that would be my last.
There. I hope I didn’t miss any from the above.
I thank God and Lord Jesus for these blessings They gave me. These was more than I asked for, and I will always be thankful to Them.
One more request, and my life will be complete.
Thank you, Tatang and Apo for your intervention. I love you always and miss you everyday.
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Last week meninap ku deacon na ka.
Nandin apaninap ku magmisa na ka. E la pa bisang mibuklat deng mata ku kasi balamu tutu.
Should I stop loving you now?
Kasakit pa pala.
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