alleycat gives unsolicited advice

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

Shoutout to everyone feeling “behind in life." Know that this is a myth. Your life is unfolding at its own unique, perfect pace. Every path is unique, and every step, no matter when it’s taken, is exactly on time. Stay the course; triumph awaits.

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

This kitty looks so mad

“Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you. The truth is that most people are struggling to simply like themselves. Be true to yourself and you will find your tribe.”

— rebel thriver

Well, my surrogacy journey is officially over!

Thursday evening I had an NST appointment and baby failed, her heart rate kept dropping during contractions, so my OB had us admitted for induction. After twelve hours of laboring and being unable to deliver her, we decided to do a C-section. We found out the reason I was unable to deliver her was because her umbilical cord was wrapped twice around her neck, so she was stuck and every contraction/push was cutting off her oxygen supply. But thankfully baby came out healthy Friday morning!

I got to go home yesterday afternoon and am on the road to recovery. It’s been a little tough but I’m getting there, each day is easier than the last.

I look back on the last twenty months and can’t believe that I literally carried and birthed a whole ass CHILD for someone I didn’t even know. It was so fulfilling and I’m so happy that I decided to do this. I’m so excited to be back to my normal life after such a long time. 🥰

I think I’m going to think about this youtube comment forever

Somewhat boring life update.

Currently 38w pregnant with surrogate baby. Hoping I go into labor this week because I am so uncomfortable! This whole journey has flown by. It has been so amazing and I’m so glad I decided to do this. But I am so ready to have my body back and start recovering and getting back to normal.

Lily and I are taking a long weekend trip to Maui for her 7th birthday mid-May. We will literally only have 2 1/2 days there (staying 3 nights), but we’re still so excited. It’s a direct flight from here and with just the two of us, we’ll definitely be able to see some of the main stuff and have some mommy/daughter time that is much needed. She’s been such a trooper during this surrogacy helping me with so much and she deserves this.

Then in mid-June we’re taking a family cruise to Mexico. We’re all excited for that, it’ll be the last time we get to do much of anything since my husband will likely be out of the military in like July/August.

For now we’re still waiting on his medical board results. We probably won’t find anything out until like May/June and then everything from then on will be pretty rushed and before we know it, we’ll be moving. I have a ton of anxiety about that but we’ll figure it out I hope. 😵‍💫

School is meh for me. I’m pretty behind but thankfully my program is self-paced so I still have time to get everything finished. I need to finish up this current class plus one more by the end of June, which shouldn’t be a problem.

So much going on but at the same time, time is going pretty slowly. I’m ready for everything to just happen so we can move on. 🤣

Honestly? Shoutout to those of you who are completely fucking lost in life. Those who don’t know what they want to do with life. Those who are stuck in a certain part of life and can’t get out. Those who are reaching for dreams they feel are impossible to reach. Those who feel like they’re accomplishments are being overlooked. Those who feel like their enough just isn’t enough. It is. You can make it. You will make it. There is an opening at the end of the tunnel.

this review Ayo Edebiri did of Star Wars is going to ruin me i keep wandering around my empty house going “adult Yoda is fucking busted” then laughing so hard i can’t get air in