justaturtleindisguise
Tata / Tê / Thales
I'm a little autistic genderfluid turtle using a buncha pronouns! (she/they/he)
I'm a minor artist, aspiring to be character designer and animator, with a strong hyperfixation on TMNT, DoroHeDoro and worldbuilding :)
Not doing commissions yet, but want to in the future !!
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Last Seen Blogs
vinesuk
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half of his sin is mine
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I got demoted to Princess
nicholasnewman
Journalist and Copywriter
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From The River To The Sea
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toshiro is also autistic and clearly envies how much laios doesn't mask and is able to say whatever he's thinking outright (he literally says so after their fight). and he was raised as like a minor lord or whatever in feudal japan so he learned to mask early on and that combination of masking + raised in a high-context culture + being in a foreign land with different etiquette means that he'll go through herculean levels of discomfort to not upset any perceived group balance and only snaps when he's like three days away from dropping dead. which is also something he sees in falin btw and is a big reason why he's drawn to her. imo
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The key shortcut of "windows key" and "." held together has changed my life
like
emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖
But
Kaomoji ?
The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o
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color practice ft my favorite dunmeshi women
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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
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Hey yall bc I've been keeping an eye on this the Itch.Io bundle for the PCRF is now live
they had an issue last week with itch.io so they had to postpone opening for a few days but for those who wanted to d/ona/te it's here!
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how i sleep knowing i will pirate every single thing released on disney plus
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PONYDOODLES IS DOING AN ART RAFFLE TO SUPPORT THE PEOPLE OF PALESTINE!
Win art of your characters AND support Palestine at the same time! This is an art raffle, where tickets are given out based on how much you donate to the linked causes! Can't donate? Share our post around and encourage others to donate instead!
A $5 donation to one of the causes will earn you one entry. Higher donations = More entries! Provide proof of your donation & contact info in the form below to get a chance to win 5 pieces of art from our mods of a pony character(s) of your choosing!
Full info and donation details here:
https://forms.gle/VRL3SV7hGL4u4dkA8
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REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS
This way people can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.
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LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS
STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL.
DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE!
AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN.
IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER.
“Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!”
WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK
CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU.
AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE.
I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!
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Video
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here’s a link to operation olive branch, which provides aid to gazans who critically need to evacuate:
you can choose a family you want to send aid to, and click the link to send money. the spreadsheet also has bar graphs showing how much money each family is getting.
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(A fundraiser I trust. Please spread the word.)
This fundraiser is for my cousin, Ahmed Abdeen; I am a Palestinian living in the US. Here is Ahmed's story in his own words.
”I life in Rafah where I have lived my whole life. I am asking you for support today to be able to buy basic things such as canned food, flour and materials for tents when available. I need these supplies for myself and my family and also everyone in Gaza is my family so as long as I can I need to support everyone else who needs support. I am distributing goods to people who are displaced and living in tents around us. We are living in unimaginable conditions as I am sure that you are aware and we are asking for support.”
Thank you for taking the time to read this and please consider contributing even if its is only a small amount. This money will be wired directly via our personal bank accounts.
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i wanted to show everyone my favorite tiktok
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