I got my juice in in bed. In a basement where it’s so cold im under like five blankets rn but it’s fine. I really wonder why people act the way they do ya know I feel like everyone would be so much happier if we just like said what we mean. Like I could totally text a few people and be like hey bitch I love you or care about you but like society has this like rule where if y’all don’t talk anymore than doing that is like super weird but like I still have a place in my heart for many people. They aren’t all great people but I feel like they should know that I still think about them and care even tho when they texted me like three years ago I didn’t reply. Or like after that fight I never reached out and was like im sorry I still love you. Or like it’s literally been like a fucking decade almost since we’ve spoken or seen each other but like I still think of you and ur kids ya know. Im a sentimental person and idk why that has to be such a bad thing ya know. Im full of lore. And maybe some people don’t deserve that love but like that’s not my fault it’s still there I can’t control my metaphorical heart

ok u caught me i’m stupid

Why tf is one buzzball like as much as it is. I still have to get my nightly juice and it’s not even gone and I’m like how do I walk upstairs now wtf

Smoked a cigarette and thought of you <3

Having BPD is like you are a 3 years old, but with steroids.

This is how I see myself rn 🥲

wdym you don't check my tumblr, do u even care about me????

"you need to let it go" that would be really cool, unfortunately I'll take it with me to the grave

They don't even love me anymore. It's not the same as it was before. The love they used to give is not there. I can't bear them pretending to give me love. I feel so empty.

The problem is once I get attention…I want more….and then once I get more…I want even more….and

nightmare blunt rotation my id, ego, and superego

Not to be dramatic but can you guys be a little more obsessed with me

passenger princess, but i got put in the trunk for being annoying :(

Just a visitor 042424

brain is so fucking loud

and i wanna talk to someone

but i’m just a bother

like why am i so fucking annoying

Omfg today has been so shitttyyyy. I called the place I’m supposed to transfer to and he wants me to come in for like an interview type thing which I’ve literally never heard of or done before even tho I have transfer twice since moving here. And it pisses me off because I went to g see this dude last week and he wouldn’t see me then but now wants to like okay whatever I just need a job again. And then one of the daughters of the women I use to live next to that let me drink with them at fucking 12 friended me on Facebook. She didn’t actually say anything just friended me and that was that. But I’m seeing pictures from her prom and like pictures of her mom and younger brother and I just have this feeling of like omfg I miss these people so much. Like that family is all sorts of fucked up and their mother really treated me like a grown friend when I was 9-13 so like I know that they weren’t the best people in the world. But I suffer from never letting anything go ever. Hints the letters I’m writing to people I haven’t talked to in literal years. And like I just want a fucking drink and a bar and to fall asleep before fucking 5 in the morning. At this point I’d rather nod off at fucking 9pm like I use to do than do what I’m doing now. I want a cigarette so fucking bad. But those make me think of bad people too. Like always have always will.