Soothing

Asra x Reader Angst Fic

So until later on this will remain unedited so excuse any errors, and as well as that please be aware that I wrote this fic in an hour so it probably isn’t my best work. With that information in mind, I hope you enjoy! 

“Asra?”  Your voice sounds small to your own ears as you call out to him, your hand outstretched toward his back as you take all of him in. He’s sitting on his knees on the hardwood flooring of your shared home, his face buried in his hands as his back shakes with sobs. You swallow thickly, confused and afraid as you start to wonder what could be wrong, was it something you had done? Something you had said? You think back to earlier that morning when you had decided to go out to the shops, you had gotten out of bed and made Asra a cup of tea before getting yourself dressed and announcing that you were headed to the shop, bidding your master farewell as you went. As far as you knew that wasn’t anything for Asra to cry over, was it? 

You continued to watch your master with a pained expression, your heart throbbing painfully in your chest as you wondered what you could do to help him. You felt terribly helpless, and you had this strange feeling that you couldn’t quite explain, this need to reach out and touch the man in front of you, soothe him despite the fact that you had almost no idea how. According to Asra you had known each other a long time, although he left the exact number of years unspecified, even so, your memories of him were long gone, you could only remember up to four months ago and the person in front of you was little more than a mystery despite the fact that you lived with him. So why was it you felt as if you knew exactly how to make him feel better? You curled your fingers into a fist slowly, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him as best you could, trying not to imagine the feeling of his soft, white curls beneath your fingertips. You could swear you could feel them now, silky and smooth under your touch, it was as if the feeling was a familiar one, but as far as you knew you had never even dared to touch his hair before, at least not for the four months you had known life, not for the four months you had known him. 

The man you have called your master for months now turns to you slowly, and the sight of him with tearstained cheeks nearly drives you mad with anguish, and you feel your own tears begin to build behind your eyes inexplicably. It is as if his pain is causing you pain. You reach out to him again, his name tumbling from your lips as you lower yourself on to your knees beside his hunched form, cradling his face in your hands the way he did to you on the nights you had your nightmares. You wiped away his tears gently with the pads of your thumbs, ignoring the feeling of your own tears dripping down your cheeks as you tried desperately to make him feel better. You may not have known Asra for long, but you did know that if there was one person who deserved to be happy, it was him. He was unselfish and caring, he lulled you to sleep on the nights that otherwise would have been sleepless, and he taught you all of the things you had been destined to forget. The man in front of you was beautiful, with a heart made of liquid gold and a smile that shone like diamonds in the moonlight. You watched as Asra took you in, his tears seeming to come faster for a few moments before he managed to calm himself down, his hands moving to grab your own gently so he could lower them away from his face.  “I’m sorry, Y/n, the last thing I wanted was for you to see that.” You looked at him worriedly, looking him over carefully as you tilted your head, inspecting him for any bumps or bruises, “It doesn’t matter if I saw it, what matters is the fact that you were crying.” You said in an almost desperate tone that sounded eerily unfamiliar to your ears, “Are you alright?” The man in front of you smiled, letting go of one of your hands as he ran his fingertips over the palm of the one he was still holding, memorizing every line and crevice etched into your soft skin. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine. Like I said, you weren’t supposed to see that and get yourself worried over me. There’s nothing wrong.” You jumped down his throat immediately, worry blinding all of your sense as you reached forward to grasp onto his forearms, watching as his eyes widened in shock as your sudden actions. “And I told you that it doesn’t matter what I saw, not even a little bit, you’re sitting on the floor crying alone and I can’t see anything physically wrong with you so it must be something else.” Your gaze turned desperate as you looked the man you believed to be your master in the eyes, “Please, Asra, you have to tell me what’s wrong.” You said softly, only to gasp in surprise when the man in front of you all but fell into your arms, his hands gripping on to your upper arms as he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, his tears coming harder and faster than ever before as he trembled against your body. “I can’t.” He whispered, his voice pained, “I would tell you if I could tell you, but I just can’t. Please Y/n, please just understand that I would tell you everything if I could, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to just be able to give you everything you lost but...” He trailed off as his voice grew thick, “I can’t risk it.” He murmured softly, letting out slow and shaky breaths as he tried to calm himself down, only to take in a breath so sharp you swear it could have cut you right down the middle as you slowly began to run your fingers through his hair. 

You swallowed nervously, biting down on your lower lip as you awaited your master’s reaction to your movements, only to feel hot tears dripping against your skin as the man within your arms cried silently. You held him there like that for what must have been hours, your own tears dripping down off of your cheeks and on to the back of Asra’s shirt as your fingers swirled through his hair and along his spine in a familiar pattern you could have sworn you had utilized before. Finally, once all of the tears had been dried and the room was completely silent, you spoke, “I don’t know what I’ve forgotten, and I don’t truly know why I forgot, but I know that if I’m the one hurting you...” You trailed off and took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t think I could live with that guilt.” A deep chuckle sounded from the man resting against you, and you watched as he raised his head, a smile on his lips, “Of course you aren’t. You’ve never hurt me a day in your life.” And with that peace returned to the room, and the two of you fell asleep, one of you soothed by the memory of the past, and the other by a lie. 

Well

I have about an hour of free time so I’m gonna see what I can get down for a fic and just post it once my time is up for fun. Let’s hope it comes out good!

Absolutely 100% accurate 

their workplace safety worries me a great deal

Art

The Main 6 Wearing Crocs

Asra: cruggs

Julian : goth crocs

Muriel : some fucking ugg boot, croc, skele-toe abomination

Lucio: rhinestone crocs

Portia : platform crocs

Nadia : bejeweled crocs

Hi!! Do you do personal rps??? In like dms and stuff??

Hi! 

I don’t usually do anything like that just because I’m a very busy person who is very inconsistent when it comes to things like that because of my hectic schedule. I’m really sorry if this was something you were interested in doing, I just don’t think I could make the time for it :( 

I am way too excited for this, holy heck. 

In lighter news! Did you hear about the new routes? :D

NO I DID NOT, PLEASE SHARE WITH THE CLASS

Hey can you write something for Julian where the Reader is singing can’t help falling in love by Elvis Presley to him

A Late Night Lullaby

Julian Devorak x Reader Fic

Aww this is such a cute ask! I had tons of fun writing this super fluffy piece, I hope you enjoy it! 

P.S. Obviously I don’t own the song so don’t come for me please! 

Late nights with Julian had always been pretty slow. Not only was he usually tired after a long day, but he was also desperate for any form of physical contact, and therefore much preferred spending his time curled up somewhere with his head in your lap to anything else. Tonight it seemed, was no exception, because mere seconds after walking through the door and chucking his coat onto the dinner table Julian was all but launching himself into the bed beside you, his face buried in the pillow as he let out a loud groan which only served to provoke laughter from you. You ran your free hand that wasn’t holding the book you had been reading through his hair gently, rolling your eyes at his dramatics as he let out a huff, turning his head to face you. “Have you ever” He began, moving to sit up beside you as he moved his arms around dramatically, “Tried to have a serious conversation with a patient while being all but squeezed to death by a snake?” You scoffed and shook your head, leaning in to kiss the tip pf his nose teasingly, “I’m afraid I haven’t my dear, but then again I’m not a doctor and therefore I don’t have patients. And on top of that the only snake I know is Faust, who I know you can’t be talking about because she is far too small to do any real damage while squeezing you.” Julian crossed his arms at your words, “That snake has the strength of one thousand men thank you very much!” You laughed at his dramatics as he let out yet another huff, “Not that I would expect you to understand, she doesn’t try to kill you each time she sees you.” You giggled softly, rolling your eyes once again, “She doesn’t try to kill you, she’s just saying hello. She’s playing.” Julian doesn’t respond to that, he just lets out a groan and allows himself to fall to the side, his head landing in your lap as he stares up at you through his lashes, he is then silent for a moment before finally speaking, “How do you do it? How can you be so pretty from every possible angle.” You blush at that, moving your hands to gently cradle his face, running your fingertips along his skin gently, “The same way you do.” You murmur playfully, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling away just to see that dopey grin you loved so much splayed across his lips. You couldn’t help but smile at that, it made you so damn happy to see him happy. You couldn’t think of anyone who deserved it more. “I love you.” The words are sudden and almost unexpected as they fly forth from your lips, and Julian looks surprised by your sudden proclamation for a moment before he seems to digest what you’ve said and smirks proudly, acting cool as if his cheeks aren’t on fire as he moves his hand in order to lace his fingers through your own, allowing him to bring your hand to his mouth so he can kiss it gently, the soft feeling making you shiver slightly as you watch him. The moonlight shines in through the window and casts an almost ethereal looking glow on his pale skin. He looks beautiful. He always looks beautiful. You can’t help but let out a peaceful sigh as you lay your book down on the bed beside you, using that free hand to run your fingers through his hair now that he’s claimed your other one as his own momentarily. You watch as he sighs, closing his eyes and allowing the peacefulness of the silence and the loving feelings your actions provoke to consume him and fill him with a type of serenity he is still getting used to even now. You watch him carefully, continuing your actions slowly as you take all of him in, committing every inch of him to memory as if he would be leaving tomorrow, which was a silly thing to do really knowing that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He wasn’t going anywhere without you ever again. You were his home now, you were where he belonged, and you wouldn’t have it any other way, because he was your home too.

You sit there in that position for a little while longer, a peaceful and happy smile playing on your lips as you watch the man you love rest his eyes while you dote on him endlessly, your love for him fueling your every move. And suddenly in one single moment you’re overcome with this feeling of adoration, this feeling of love that is so strong it almost physically jolts you. There is nothing in this world that you love more than the man in front of you, he is your everything, your beginning and your end, your sunlight and your rain, and never have you been so in love with someone in your life. He’s your soulmate, and you are struck suddenly with the realization that you don’t know how to express that, and the emotions inside you make you feel as if you’re fit to burst. You almost want to wake him up from the nap he seems to be taking just to tell him how much he means to you, but you know how little sleep he gets and you just can’t bring yourself to do that to him for the sake of your own comfort. So you sit there for a few minutes longer, hoping that the feeling will fade back to normal only to realize that as you’re gazing down at him that it’s only growing stronger. And as absolutely amazing it feels to be in love you aren’t exactly loving the feeling of your heart being on fire with the need to express the love you feel. It almost hurts with how intense it is. And you aren’t truly sure what happens in that next moment that makes you remember this, because it is a memory from so long ago that you can hardly focus on, blurred with the passing of time and the circumstances of the memory itself. But you remember nonetheless. You remember feeling exhausted, being almost completely asleep as a voice sings a song to you, a song you had heard only once before in that one instant. But almost as if you had known it for all of your life you can suddenly remember all the words even though you find you cannot quite identify who had been singing them to you. It had been years ago, although not so long ago that you hadn’t been with Julian, and you were nearly asleep, in what bed you could not quite remember, but you did remember that it was different from normal, the way you had sunk into that mattress stuck with you even now as you tried desperately to identify that voice. Had it been Julian? Or perhaps it had been at the time you had still lived with Asra and you were remembering a memory from long ago when you had barely even known Julian at all. Was this memory somehow just a dream? Something your brain had conjured up simply to give you an idea of how you could sate your need to express your feelings for the man you loved? You had no way of knowing, but you did know that by this point you didn’t really care. The lyrics from the song swam around your brain and finally you let them travel through your lips, singing a song you had only heard once for a few short minutes simply to convey the love you felt for the sleeping man on your lap. And even as you feared you would forget the words they just kept on flowing as if it was natural and well known, as if you had done this a million times despite the fact that you had never sung to Julian in this lifetime. But none of that mattered.

“Wise men say only fools rush inBut I can’t help falling in love with youShall I stay?Would it be a sinIf I can’t help falling in love with you?Like a river flows surely to the seaDarling so it goesSome things are meant to beTake my hand, take my whole life tooFor I can’t help falling in love with you Like a river flows surely to the seaDarling so it goesSome things are meant to beTake my hand, take my whole life tooFor I can’t help falling in love with youFor I can’t help falling in love with you”

You looked up at the ceiling above you as you finally sang the last few words of the song, your hands continuing to run through your lovers hair gently as you sighed, jumping slightly when you heard a light sniffle sound from your lap. You turned your gaze downward only to find Julian with tears in his eyes and a hand over his mouth, and you worried for a moment that you had somehow upset him before he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head against your stomach, pressing himself as close to you as he could possibly get as he let out quiet sobs of what you could only assume was joy against your body. You rubbed his back soothingly for a few minutes until finally he pulled away, eyes glossy with tears and lips trembling slightly as he spoke, “You remembered.” You raised a brow at him, confused about what he meant as you ran a hand through his hair, watching as realization dawned on him that you had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. “That song.” He said gently, sitting up beside you so he could take both of your hands and look you in the eye, “I sang it to you on one of our first nights together more than three years ago. I didn’t think you were awake to hear it, and I certainly didn’t think you would ever remember it. I used to hear my father sing it to my mother while they danced around the kitchen together, and then Mazelinka used to sing it to Portia and I whenever we had a nightmare to help lull us back to sleep.” And suddenly with those words you understood why he was crying. This was much more than an ordinary song for him “That song means so much to me.” He said, chuckling awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck, “So hearing you sing it… I’ve never heard anything more beautiful before in my life.” You blushed softly and leaned in to press your forehead against his own, “Well then get used to it my love.” You murmured softly, “Because now that I know it makes you happy there’s no chance in hell I could ever stop singing it to you whenever I get the chance.” Julian hummed softly, his arms wrapping around your back to pull you closer as he sighed happily, “I don’t deserve you.” You giggled at his sweet words, rolling your eyes as you shook your head gently, “I’m afraid that just isn’t true my love, you deserve the world.” You watched as Julian chuckled softly, moving to press a gentle kiss to your temple as he smiled against your skin, “How fitting then,” He murmured out, pulling away gently to look deep in your eyes as he spoke, “That you are my world.” You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “And you, mine my love, and you, mine.”

Never In A Million Years

Julian Devorak x Fem!MC

Warnings:  Angst NSFW 

Hey all! So this is my first fic on this account and since I wanted to showcase my specialties I wrote an angsty smut fic. Just so everyone is aware the timeline in this is a little messed up and it doesn’t entirely work with the Arcana’s storyline but I’m proud of it nonetheless and wanted to post it. I wouldn’t call this my best work but again I’m certainly proud of the time I’ve put into it and I really hope you enjoy! So without further ado here’s the fic!

Peace. This is all that Julian Devorak wishes for, the only thing he dares to ask the universe to give him. And even so he is still denied it. It seems as if the universe is just as unforgiving to Julian as he is to himself. He shivers in his bed, tossing and turning beneath the covers as sharp cries leave his lips, the same lips that you had once kissed. The same lips that you would never kiss again. With an agonized shout the ginger bolts upright completely, the covers sticking to his bare and sweaty chest as he pants heavily, his body trembling as if the whole world around him were made entirely of ice. He sits in the same position for several long moments, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that everything is as it was before. Everything is okay. He is the only living soul in this house and there is absolutely nothing here that can harm him. He has only just started to believe these things when the sudden bang of something being knocked over in the hallway annihilates the silence of his home. Julian sits in his bed, terrified, alone, helpless, as the sound of shuffling feet slowly begins to move closer to his door until he can see a shadow beneath it. He wants to move but he can’t, wants to shout and yell at the top of his lungs but finds that his mouth won’t move. He is frozen on the spot as the doorknob begins to turn and the door to his bedroom slowly opens, revealing the form of a person he hasn’t seen in months. Julian chokes softly, his eyes growing wide and filling with tears as he takes every inch of this person in, his voice finally working and his mouth finally moving as he whispers an oh so familiar name, one he hadn’t said in what felt like ages. “MC.” 

Julian watches, dazed and disoriented as you quickly rush over to his bed upon seeing his frazzled looking figure, fussing over him despite how many times he tells you he’s okay. You’re the exact same now as you had been the last time he had seen you. But the last time he had seen you you were... “MC what are you doing here?” His voice is small and full of disbelief as he takes all of you in, reaching out to touch you, to feel you for the first time in months. It feels like it has been centuries to Julian, and the gentle touch of your warm skin soothes him more than you could ever know. More than he could ever tell you. You quirk one of your eyebrows at him in confusion, that laugh he loved oh so much leaving your lips as you sit down on the bed beside him, kicking your shoes off before removing your coat, “I live here, silly. We live here. You really don’t remember? Ilya, do you feel alright?” You lay your hand across his forehead gently, and Julian leans into your touch involuntarily as if he has lost all control of his body. “Of course I remember my dear I just...” You were right of course, you had lived with Julian, but you didn’t anymore, not after what had happened. Before all of that you had come home like this every night, finishing work even later than him at times which then lead to you trying to creep into the bed without waking him. He had always found it silly that you truly believed he could ever sleep without you there by his side. But that was all gone now, you were all gone now. Weren’t you? Julian looked on in confusion as you cradled his face in your hands, pressing your soft lips against his sweaty forehead before taking both of his hands in your own, smiling at him, “I’m getting the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me.” You teased, and the man in front of you couldn’t help but let out a strained chuckle. You had absolutely no idea. “You’ve been gone for so long.” Julian begins, his voice thick with sleep and emotion as he continues, “I never thought you would come back, hell, I never thought you could come back.” You look confused at that sentiment and rub your thumbs against the back of his hands soothingly, looking deep into his eyes and allowing him to drown within the vibrant colors of your own. You were so beautiful. You had always been beautiful. “Julian.” The sweet sound of your voice calling his name snaps Julian back into reality and he can’t help but blush at being caught drifting off. “Julian my love I think you had a nightmare.” Those words hit the plague doctor in front of you like a ton of bricks and he takes a moment to think them over. A nightmare? Everything that had happened, all of the agony he had gone through without you, all of that pain, it hadn’t been real? You were okay? You were still there by his side? He struggles to find words to convey the way he feels, because he is so terribly confused to learn that all that had happened to him, all that had happened to you, had been a dream, but he is so terribly happy to know that you’re still here by his side, happy to know that you’re okay. And then he remembers waking up, he remembers the cold sweat that is still pouring down his back, and he realizes that he can’t remember his nightmare, because maybe it had been that life he had thought he was leading for all of those agonizing months all along. Your gaze pours over your lover worriedly, and Julian can’t help but smile as he squeezes both of your hands, finally allowing all of his worries to fall away as the realization hits him that you’re okay, you’re right here, and he would never let you go again, be it in real life or not. And with that Dr. Julian Devorak is whole again, grinning ear to ear as he nods eagerly, “A dream, oh how smart you are to realize my love I never would have thought of that.” Because he wouldn’t have, not without you. 

The next thing Julian knows he’s sitting in the kitchen, watching you with a gentle smile on his face as you make him some tea, something you had always insisted on doing whenever he woke up from a rather vivid nightmare. The room was filled with peaceful silence as you waited for the water to heat up on the stove, filling one of the tea bags you kept lying around with some of the loose leafed tea he enjoyed so much. As the kettle on the stove began to howl Julian moved to stand up and move it off of the stove only to be stopped by you shaking your head at him as you grabbed the kettle and poured some of the steaming hot water into a teacup. Julian continued to watch you as you placed the cup down in front of him, dropping the tea bag into it and allowing it to steep as you pulled a chair over to sit next to him, your knee pressing against his own gently as you watched him raise the cup to his lips. Julian gently sipped at his tea before placing it back down on the table in front of him, leaning back in his chair with a soft sigh of relief, visibly relaxing as he gave you a shaky smile. The two of you continued to sit together in peaceful silence for a few more minutes before Julian suddenly hears you speak up and lifts his head to see you more clearly as you talk. “What was it like?” Julian raises a brow at you, crossing one leg over the other as he speaks, “What was what like, darling?” You gaze up at him through your lashes before returning your gaze to the ground in an almost nervous fashion, “Living without me.” It struck Julian suddenly that you were asking about his dream, you were asking what it had been like to be away from you for all those nonexistent months. He let out a breathy chuckle at your question, shaking his head as he took both of your hands into his own, “It was like someone had stolen the sun from the sky and bathed the world in eternal darkness. I felt as if my senses had been stolen from me except for touch and all I could feel was agony.” You watched him for a moment before squeezing his hands and grinning, “Alright drama queen, whatever you say.” Julian rolled his eyes at your comment and let out a heavy over dramatic sigh, “I’m not being dramatic, imagine what it would be like to spend your days all alone without me, having no idea where I am and what’s become of me. That’s what it felt like except it went on for six months in my dream. It was as if I had lost a part of me and couldn’t get it back, and every night was agony as I would lay there without you by my side. It truly was as awful as I claim my dear, in fact I would say it was worse than words can convey.” You were silent for a moment before motioning for him to stand up, prompting him to raise a brow at you as you giggled softly, “Come on then Ilya, stand.” Julian watched you curiously as he hesitantly stood up from his seat at the table, his tea sloshing slightly in his cup as his ankle jostled one of the table legs slightly. You took his hands shortly after he stood, pulling him to you gently as you spoke, “You know Ilya, I think you were right, you weren’t being dramatic.” You tugged on his hands suddenly, forcing him to all but fall forward haphazardly into your lap as you smirked down at him, “I couldn’t imagine a life without you, I wouldn’t want to.” You gently trailed your hands up his back, that same smirk on your face as you watched him shiver slightly, “But you did imagine a life with me, you did have to have to even though you didn’t want to. And I think you deserve compensation for what happened to you, something to help you forget.” You begin to move your hands down his back as you speak, your nails scratching at his porcelain skin as he lets out a whine, his head falling backwards instinctively as his mind begins to grow cloudy with want, with need. It had all felt so real, every second of those months without you, every tear he had shed while crying out for you at night, and even now that time without you still felt real, it still felt to him as if you hadn’t touched him in months. Your fingertips felt like pure magic as they danced across his skin, moving around his sides to slide over his stomach before they followed his happy trail all the way down to his belt. You stopped there, shaking your head as you sighed, a mock look of disappointment on your face as you moved your gaze upwards to meet his own, smirking once again as you saw that glimmer of arousal in his eyes along with the flush of his cheeks. “What did I say about sleeping in your work clothes, Ilya?” You asked, leaning in and allowing your lips to gently graze against his ear, “They’re so much harder to get off of you than your pajamas are.” You purred, nibbling gently on the shell of his ear before your lips moved downward, sucking at his neck as you began to leave hickeys scattered all over him. 

By the time you were done kissing his neck Julian was a moaning, pleading mess in your lap, the buttons of his shirt undone to reveal his stark white chest that was covered in little ginger chest hairs, and his erection pulsing against your thigh as he ground against you. He had no idea how long you had been teasing him for at this point, but he did know that to him it had felt like hours upon hours of sweet torture as your lips trailed across his skin, sucking and biting at the most sensitive parts as you marked him up. Currently you were still sat beneath him in the chair beside the dinner table, watching his reactions as you slowly ran your hands down his bare chest, tugging at the little hairs around his nipples and making him yelp at the sudden mix of pain and pleasure the action provoked. It was glorious. You bit your lip softly as you watched him, slowly moving your hand downward and into his unbuttoned pants, letting out a soft moan that made your lovers erection pulse with need as you slowly came to the realization that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. The only thing lying between the two of you now was his pants, and you would be damned if those were on for much longer. “What do you want, Julian?” You purred, palming his erection as you cooed softly at him, leaning in until you were close to his ear once again, “Do you want me to touch you?” You murmured, prompting an immediate nod from the man in front of you who was all but trembling at your words alone. “P-please MC, I’ve waited so long.” You giggled softly as you slowly slid your hand back into his pants, pulling out his erection while biting your lip softly, “I know you have, Ilya, and you’ve done such a good job too, you’re such a good boy for me.” You praised as you slowly began to stroke him, prompting him to lean his head back and let out a long, loud moan of approval, his hips jerking forward instinctively as he begged you for more. “Oh gods MC, please, I’m begging you.” You giggled at his words, moving to stroke him a bit faster as you hummed softly, “I can hear that, darling. You sound so pretty too, you always sound pretty when you’re begging.” That prompted another whine from your needy lover, and you couldn’t help but let out a moan as he bucked his hips once again, his chest heaving as he panted out your name over and over again as if it were holy. And maybe to him it was. You continued to stroke him for several more minutes before finally giving in to his pleas for more, moving your pointer finger up to his mouth and gently circling his lips with it, “Suck.” You ordered, your voice stern as you slowed your strokes down to ensure all of his focus was on you. The whine that left his mouth as he took your finger into it was delicious, and even more so than that was the feeling of his tongue circling your finger over and over again, his eyes searching yours as you began to speed up your strokes. After a few more seconds of his desperate sucking you pulled your finger from his mouth, slowly moving the hand that wasn’t busy stroking him around his body, slipping it into his pants before slowly allowing your saliva covered finger to slip inside of him, prompting a gasp and yet another whine from the overwhelmed doctor in front of you, “Does that feel good, Ilya?” You cooed, stroking him even faster as you slowly started to pump your finger, watching as his eyes squeezed shut and his head fell back, allowing you to see every inch of his hickey covered throat. He looked positively ravishing like this. Of course with all of this pleasure coming at him all at once it was obvious that Julian wasn’t going to last very long, and as his hips began to buck forward more frequently and his whines got more and more needy you began to slow down, gently removing your finger from him as your hand slowly left his throbbing cock. “Stand, Ilya.” You ordered, giggling as your lover let out a whine, leaning forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder, “Whyyyy?” He pouted, his chest heaving with effort even as his panting began to slow down. “Because,” You cooed, running your hands over his thighs, “I can’t ride you in this chair.” And then suddenly without another word Julian was standing, his hair disheveled as he gave you a shaky grin, “Why didn’t you just say so?” 

By the time you managed to get Julian to the bedroom you were fairly certain he wouldn’t last very long. Twice on the way upstairs to the room your patience had been outweighed by your arousal, and you had pinned him against the wall and allowed him to grind at your hand for minutes at a time before finally coming back to your senses and prompting him to move along to the bedroom. As the two of you entered the room together neither of you said a word, you simply grabbed him by the sides of his unbuttoned shirt and pulled him to you as you slowly walked towards the bed, pushing him down on top of it once you got close. You took a few minutes to admire him from above, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly, his cock pulsing visibly as precum coated his tip. He looked good enough to eat. Slowly enough to tease him but not quite so slow that it drove you mad you began to remove your own clothing, peeling off your shirt and pants with a smirk as you watched his reactions, catching every twitch of his erection and each lip bite a he tried desperately to control his own arousal. You absolutely loved the power you held over him. You removed your bra next, watching him intently as you peeled your soaked panties away from your body, giggling at the way he groaned as he took your fully bare form in. Now that you were completely undressed you moved on to Julian, crawling over his body and hooking your thumbs into the belt loops of his pants, tugging them down with a smirk before deciding to leave them and his shirt partially on, shifting to position yourself above his throbbing cock. Julian let out a whimper as you slowly began to sink down on top of him, and you could feel him watching you as you squeezed your eyes shut in pure bliss, the feeling of him filling you up entirely nearly making you melt as you leaned down to kiss him softly. After a few seconds of adjustment on your end you finally began to move, bouncing atop his thick cock and watching his reactions closely as he moaned your name, choking on a few of his moans as he moved to rest his hands on your hips. It was rare you left him unrestrained, and it seemed as if he was using this rare occasion to his advantage. You let out a gentle moan, your hips moving faster as you began to pick up speed after a few minutes, provoking a rather shameless groan from Julian who’s chest was heaving as he bucked his hips upward desperately in an attempt to create more friction between the two of you. It didn’t take very long for Julian to get close again, and you weren’t surprised at all when his upward thrusts began to grow more and more sporadic as his moans of your name slowly turned into senseless pleas for you to keep going rather than stop. “F-fuck, MC, I’m gonna- Oh gods yes! Please darling! Oh!” You watched with a certain glimmer in your eye as Julian hit his peak, spilling himself inside of you as his mouth contorted into a perfect o shape, your name passing his lips over and over again as his hands gripped your hips with an almost bruising kind of force. You smiled softly at your lover as you leaned down to kiss his forehead before carefully moving off of him, watching with a blush as his seed ran down your thighs and on to the bed sheets below as you laid down beside him. Julian remained in the position he had been in beneath you for a few more minutes, panting softly until he finally caught his breath and turned his head to look at you, worry in his eyes, “You didn’t-” You cut him off before he could finish speaking, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling away with a smile, “I didn’t need to, tonight was all about rewarding you for all you put up with. I was happy to make you happy, Ilya.” Julian watched you for a few minutes before suddenly rolling on to his stomach, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes as he slowly began to trail kisses down your body, humming against your soft skin, “As kind as that is I’m afraid I can’t just leave you wanting, my dear.” His voice was low and gravelly as he spoke, his lips forming a smirk as he continued, “It just wouldn’t be fair.” And then before you could say a thing in response Julian’s mouth was on you, his tongue circling your swollen clit as his fingers moved to check how wet you were before slowly slipping inside of you, the moan it provoked making your lover growl against you. 

With those long and oh so precise fingers working at you it was a wonder you lasted for as long as you did, which was in fact, not very long, and you soon found yourself panting as you laid on the mattress beside Julian who looked all too satisfied with himself as he looked you over. He adored pleasuring you, especially with how much praise he would get for it during and afterward, oh how he loved when you called him a good boy. You sighed happily as Julian rested his head on your chest, allowing you to run your fingers through his soft ginger curls as the two of you slowly drifted off to sleep. “Don’t leave me ever again.” Julian murmured softly, linking his fingers through your own with a peaceful sigh. He listened to the sound of your heartbeat for a moment, counting each and every singular beat of your heart until you finally spoke up, “I could never leave you, my love. Never in a million years.” And Julian fell asleep shortly after hearing your words, the memory of your promise lingering with him even while he slept. He woke up the next morning alone. 

Julian groaned as he sat up in bed, pushing his palm against his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut as the sunlight poured in through the windows and shone straight into them, immediately provoking a splitting headache in the man. He allowed himself to adjust for a minute before slowly opening his eyes again, reaching to his left to feel around for you only to be met with a cold mattress. You weren’t there. Panic shot through Julian and he opened his mouth to call out for you only to be overcome with the sudden realization that you weren’t there at all. You had never even been there in the first place, not for months. All that time without you hadn’t been a nightmare at all, it was reality, and last night with you had been nothing but a dream. And with that his memories came flooding back to him, every little detail of every moment that had led him to where he was today, all alone in his bed with no one to confide in and no one to love. And just to punish himself he forced himself to think about each and every memory, focusing on each tragedy individually. 

It had all started the day Asra left. You had been a mess, tears rolling down your face as you rushed into his room, devastated. For as long as Julian had known you Asra had been by your side, your best friend, your partner in crime, your lover. And now not only was he gone, but your relationship was over on top of that. As far as Julian knew things had gotten pretty heated between the two of you when Asra said he wanted to leave, with you getting angry and claiming you wanted to stay while he got frustrated with you for being so willing to risk your life. Ultimately things ended with Asra telling you he couldn’t sit around and watch the love of his life die, and if you decided to stay it had to be over, he wouldn’t be able to leave you if it wasn’t over and he wanted to leave. So you ended it with him. For the people of Vesuvia. For Asra himself. After that you ran to Julian to comfort, he was one of your closest friends after all, going to him for help was completely normal. Except this time there seemed to be no consoling you, you were a mess of tears and whimpers as you begged Julian to help you forget it all. And despite how terrible he knew he was being for doing this to you, for doing this to Asra, Julian decided to be selfish. He’d helped you to forget everything for hours on end, his body trapped beneath your own as you called out his name. He had dried all of your tears that night, and after that it became a normal thing. And that normal thing turned into something more in a matter of months. Within eight weeks of Asra leaving Vesuvia you and Julian were essentially dating, and while Julian knew you felt terrible for moving on so quickly he also knew that you weren’t simply using him to forget about Asra anymore. You probably never had been. You were just as in love with him as you had been with Asra, and Julian knew that made you feel worse than anything else ever could. You had felt like a monster and there was nothing Julian could have said or done to change that. 

Four months after Asra had left Vesuvia was when it happened, Count Lucio had come to his office, weak and frail but grinning maliciously as if he were somehow winning the battle he was oh so clearly losing. He had told Julian that he had seen something earlier, something disturbing that he had to tell him about right at that moment. Julian didn’t start listening to a word the count was saying until he spoke your name. And then he lost it. Lucio was claiming you had the plague, that the cold you had come down with a few days ago was so much more than you were claiming it to be, and that he had seen you use magic to hide your blood red eyes himself. And to Julian such a thing had no chance of being possible, you were at home now safe in your bed getting some much needed rest as you allowed your body to heal. He had seen you that morning, your eyes had been the same color as always and you were doing just fine. And foolishly Julian laughed at the man in front of him, and then watched as that malicious grin turned into a frown. It seemed that Lucio had been counting on Julian believing the fact that you had the plague so he would work harder, he didn’t think he wouldn’t be taken seriously. And so he got angry, furious even, spitting venom at Julian before he finally did it. He forced a plague beetle down his throat, successfully giving the auburn haired man standing before him the plague. And from there Julian became desperate to find a cure, working tirelessly even through the worst of his illness not just for himself but for you. What would you do if you lost not only Asra but him too? How would you cope? What would become of you? It had been things like this that had kept Julian working even as his health became almost unbearably bad. And eventually he found the cure, and before he acted on anything at all he rushed home to you, to tell you what he had learned and to ask you what to do. If you could ever forgive him for killing another man, if you could stand to love a murderer. 

By the time Julian found his way to your shared home it was dark outside, pitch black even, and not a single light was on in the house. Julian had absolutely no idea how long he had been gone for at that point, he had been so busy that he hadn’t even thought about it. The only things on his mind while he had been researching the cure had been you and the city of Vesuvia, and now that he was entering your home he couldn’t help but wonder just how long he had been gone for. He called your name into the darkness, cautiously moving to turn a light on only to find you laying in bed, your hair spread out on the pillow behind you and your eyes closed. As Julian made his way closer he couldn’t help but notice how pale you looked even against the bright white bed sheets, and seeing as he had never known you to be a shallow breather he found it odd that he couldn’t see your chest moving or hear your breaths. Nothing truly sunk in until he touched you though, no realization hit him until that moment. And only then did he realize what had happened to you. Lucio had been telling the truth when he said he had seen you using magic to turn your eyes a normal color again, he had just been telling Julian for the wrong reasons, and foolishly Julian had ignored him and gotten himself trapped as he worked to find the cure. And now it was too late, and you had been sick and alone for as long as he had been gone, dying alone and scared in bed. Julian didn’t remember crawling on to the bed beside you, or pulling your body back against his chest as he cried out your name over and over again, begging you to come back to him, but the next thing he knew that was what he was doing. And that’s what he had done for the remainder of that night. 

Julian let out a heavy sigh as he ran a shaky hand through his hair, tears dripping down his cheeks and off of his chin as he clutched a pillow to his chest. You were gone, dead, never coming back to him, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. You had died alone and scared in the bed he was currently sitting in, probably wondering where he was and when he was coming home, most likely worrying about him all the way up until your death because that was just the kind of person you were. You were kind and selfless and beautiful and Julian hadn’t deserved you so the world took you away. And there wasn’t a thing Julian wouldn’t give to get you back. Letting out shaky breaths as his tears came even harder Julian buried his head in his hands, sobbing softly as his body shook violently atop the sheets. And then suddenly Julian heard the front door to his home, formerly known as your shop, open, and in walked Asra, looking more than a little concerned. “Julian? Where’s MC?”. 

Introduction And Rules

Hey all! 

My name is Emy and this is my brand new blog which will be dedicated to the game The Arcana. As you can probably tell by my URL I’m kind of in love with Julian Devorak so prepare yourselves for that. But anyway this is my Arcana blog where I’ll post fics, headcannons, drabbles, reactions, pretty much anything that’s requested of me, and when it comes to what I won’t do there’s really not much. I do not do non con in any way, shape, or form just because I don’t like writing it, and really other than that we’ll see what I am okay and what I am not okay with as more requests come in, but really there has never been a request before on any of my other blogs that I’ve been uncomfortable writing. I do write smut, in fact I enjoy writing it so don’t be shy there, and as well as that I’ll also write your usual fluff and angst, pretty much any genre you can think of I’ll do. When it comes to characters I’ll write for pretty much anyone in the Arcana, so there isn’t really much for limitations there lol. Well, I think that’s all for the rules for now, so now that that’s been said welcome to my new blog! I hope that you enjoy it’s contents!