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Don’t be surprised when I disappear.
(via moonlightbaexoxo)
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being at my moms is helping greatly, i miss summer though, i just dont know anymore. brian doesnt seem to care enough to fix us, so why should I
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I ask if you love me, and all you can say is Josh.
I have my answer, you don’t love me, you can’t seem to love me for some reason. It doesnt matter how much i love you, i can only give so much
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i dont know its just hard when you are distant from your husband, wondering if he wantes a divorce..
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he hasnt loved me in awhile i can feel it deep down 
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I feel like all i do is fail brian and summer 
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maybe he doesnt love me, maybe i wont be good enough, i never was for my dad. maybe its nothing different with bri i let everyone down 
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summer keeps me going, brian keep me going, even though i think i drive him nuts half the time..
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You own my heart Summer Melody more than anyone ever has before. every moment with you is special 
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sometimes i wonder if he even loves me. Like am I even special to him? or does he even want me around?
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Summer Melody, 
  I know that sometimes I will let you down. Sometimes I will make you wish that you had a better daddy. I have never been perfect, nor had the perfect life. I fight the urge to drink daily, and it becomes so hard when i think im not good enough for you and your daddy.  He is so fragile, and so are you, and I don’t actually think I am perfect enough. 
Sometimes I wonder if I make him happy, or you happy, the way you guys make me happy. I am trying to be a better man, for you. For him. But maybe i am just not good enough...
Love always, 
Daddy J 
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Sometimes i worry that I am going to let Brian and Summer down, that they will leave me, because i wil become a monster 
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