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Sandy Gallin

Probably the most colorful man I have ever met.

I remember meeting him for the 1st time. He had a house in Beverly Hills. A very modern house.. I walked in from the back thru the kitchen. Every room was huge, high ceilings, full of light, big windows, letting the sun in. The bar was huge. Everything grand. I later found out Sandy had the house built too quickly. And was poorly constructed. This was Sandy. Had to have it now. He knew the condition and did a quick sale to get his money and run.

I went up a huge open staircase. Double doors to his bedroom were open. He was laying in bed talking on the phone. Always on the phone. He was talking to Whoopi Goldberg telling her everything would be alright. His yoga instructor was at his bedside along with Sally his personal house person.

Sally had seen it all. Sally worked for Sandy for 20 years. She was in her late 60’s. Sally was a small framed Hispanic grey haired lady. An angel with a soft voice. Sally was family to Sandy. She would later retire in Las Vegas. Sandy bought a condo for her and made sure she was taken care of.

Sally was bringing Sandy chicken soup. He was under the weather. We talked about doing flowers and orchid plants for his home and office. All was good.

Sandy started in a mailroom. Worked his way up in the 70’s and 80’s. He was part of the “Studio 54” people. He and his friends David Geffen, Calvin Klein, Barry Diller were known as the “Gay Mafia “ of Hollywood. He had huge Hollywood parties. Knew everyone. He was “ the Hollywood agent” at one time. Gallin Morey were the agent on top. Later there relationship soured. Sandy left.

People in his office really had no respect for him and took advantage of him. His account Katy knew people were ripping him off.. said nothing. She told me this.

Sandy moved to Malibu. Built a beautiful house on the cliff, overlooking the ocean. It had a separate beach house and a separate gym off the house.

Walk in the house, an open wooden staircase that wound around the walls with bookcases. Dark wooden floors. Front room overlooking the ocean. He had a special bedroom for his best friend Dolly Parton. It was the Dolly room. The room was full of quilts and dolls and stuffed animals. Later I understand Dolly found out that Sandy used the room as a tax write off. Dolly was furious.

I did extra work for Sandy ( good money).

I had to buy and install 800 books in the book shelves. I had to frame 600 photos. Bought out stores to supply his needs. I worked day and night. He gave me photos of every celebrity he knew. All photos with him. His life. When the house was completed I did a huge flower arrangement in the entry ( every week), and more. Even orchid plants in the beach house. Seems nobody ever went there. I installed huge palms for the inside. The house was beautiful. He later sold the house to Kenny G. I continued to do the same for them.

Sandy decided to have a Christmas party. Lights everywhere. Huge Christmas tree. Sandy always went overboard. He could and was known for this.

The weather turned. A huge storm was coming. He decided we had to move everything to a restaurant in West Hollywood. We had 1 day to do this. He decided he wanted white lights everywhere. I put lights everywhere. They kept blowing out because of the electric system. I was fucking stressed! 10 trips to the store replacing the lights. Finally! Got it! Relieved 1 hour before the event. Sandy invited me to the party. Exhausted, I went home and showered and changed.

When I was there I felt like a duck out of water. May celebrities. I stood on the sideline. Sally and people who worked for Sandy sat at a special table for them. The best part of the party was when Dolly Party sat with “the help”. They were her friends. She was beautiful inside and out. A true angel. Her huge bus was waiting for her outside. Going back to Tennessee. She hated flying. The party was a success.

I did many house parties for Sandy.

At one house I was going from room to room working. Michael Jackson was there. I said hello. They watched a video in the kitchen. Sandy was his manager for 2 years. Michael. Michael ripped him of $2 million. Didn’t pay his fee. One time in Malibu, Calvin Klein was sitting in the kitchen having coffee. Looking tired. He stayed with Sandy after rehab. You never knew who you would see. He knew everyone.

Sandy was a good man. And good to me. He always ask for my opinion. If he didn’t agree? He would have that look of Meryl Streep in the “ devil does Prada “ oh.

He took a job working for Steve Wynn in Las Vegas. I understand he really didn’t know what he was doing/ don’t know. But it was short lived. He loved designing houses. After I left, he designed many expensive houses and sold them. Eccentric! Yes. Good man! Yes. He later died from blood cancer.

He taught me a lot about interior design and what I like. We had one thing in common. We always fell in love with younger men. Always tried to help them and change their lives. Almost always getting heart broken. Thank you Sandy. 12 years was beautiful. Many stories and memories.

Sandy Gallin

Probably the most colorful man I have ever met.

I remember meeting him for the 1st time. He had a house in Beverly Hills. A very modern house.. I walked in from the back thru the kitchen. Every room was huge, high ceilings, full of light, big windows, letting the sun in. The bar was huge. Everything grand. I later found out Sandy had the house built too quickly. And was poorly constructed. This was Sandy. Had to have it now. He knew the condition and did a quick sale to get his money and run.

I went up a huge open staircase. Double doors to his bedroom were open. He was laying in bed talking on the phone. Always on the phone. He was talking to Whoopi Goldberg telling her everything would be alright. His yoga instructor was at his bedside along with Sally his personal house person.

Sally had seen it all. Sally worked for Sandy for 20 years. She was in her late 60’s. Sally was a small framed Hispanic grey haired lady. An angel with a soft voice. Sally was family to Sandy. She would later retire in Las Vegas. Sandy bought a condo for her and made sure she was taken care of.

Sally was bringing Sandy chicken soup. He was under the weather. We talked about doing flowers and orchid plants for his home and office. All was good.

Sandy started in a mailroom. Worked his way up in the 70’s and 80’s. He was part of the “Studio 54” people. He and his friends David Geffen, Calvin Klein, Barry Diller were known as the “Gay Mafia “ of Hollywood. He had huge Hollywood parties. Knew everyone. He was “ the Hollywood agent” at one time. Gallin Morey were the agent on top. Later there relationship soured. Sandy left.

People in his office really had no respect for him and took advantage of him. His account Katy knew people were ripping him off.. said nothing. She told me this.

Sandy moved to Malibu. Built a beautiful house on the cliff, overlooking the ocean. It had a separate beach house and a separate gym off the house.

Walk in the house, an open wooden staircase that wound around the walls with bookcases. Dark wooden floors. Front room overlooking the ocean. He had a special bedroom for his best friend Dolly Parton. It was the Dolly room. The room was full of quilts and dolls and stuffed animals. Later I understand Dolly found out that Sandy used the room as a tax write off. Dolly was furious.

I did extra work for Sandy ( good money).

I had to buy and install 800 books in the book shelves. I had to frame 600 photos. Bought out stores to supply his needs. I worked day and night. He gave me photos of every celebrity he knew. All photos with him. His life. When the house was completed I did a huge flower arrangement in the entry ( every week), and more. Even orchid plants in the beach house. Seems nobody ever went there. I installed huge palms for the inside. The house was beautiful. He later sold the house to Kenny G. I continued to do the same for them.

Sandy decided to have a Christmas party. Lights everywhere. Huge Christmas tree. Sandy always went overboard. He could and was known for this.

The weather turned. A huge storm was coming. He decided we had to move everything to a restaurant in West Hollywood. We had 1 day to do this. He decided he wanted white lights everywhere. I put lights everywhere. They kept blowing out because of the electric system. I was fucking stressed! 10 trips to the store replacing the lights. Finally! Got it! Relieved 1 hour before the event. Sandy invited me to the party. Exhausted, I went home and showered and changed.

When I was there I felt like a duck out of water. May celebrities. I stood on the sideline. Sally and people who worked for Sandy sat at a special table for them. The best part of the party was when Dolly Party sat with “the help”. They were her friends. She was beautiful inside and out. A true angel. Her huge bus was waiting for her outside. Going back to Tennessee. She hated flying. The party was a success.

I did many house parties for Sandy.

At one house I was going from room to room working. Michael Jackson was there. I said hello. They watched a video in the kitchen. Sandy was his manager for 2 years. Michael. Michael ripped him of $2 million. Didn’t pay his fee. One time in Malibu, Calvin Klein was sitting in the kitchen having coffee. Looking tired. He stayed with Sandy after rehab. You never knew who you would see. He knew everyone.

Sandy was a good man. And good to me. He always ask for my opinion. If he didn’t agree? He would have that look of Meryl Streep in the “ devil does Prada “ oh.

He took a job working for Steve Wynn in Las Vegas. I understand he really didn’t know what he was doing/ don’t know. But it was short lived. He loved designing houses. After I left, he designed many expensive houses and sold them. Eccentric! Yes. Good man! Yes. He later died from blood cancer.

He taught me a lot about interior design and what I like. We had one thing in common. We always fell in love with younger men. Always tried to help them and change their lives. Almost always getting heart broken. Thank you Sandy. 12 years was beautiful. Many stories and memories.

Delhi.. there were too many people. The markets.. rickshaws.. to much noise. But colorful. It seemed all the European tourist were heading to Goa. The beach and warm weather. So I decided to go there.

Again I found a student bus. It was supposed to get us there in 3 days. It took 7 days.

The journey began going thru the rugged mountains in India. It’s 1,200 miles to Goa. This bus was a 3rd world, no air conditioning school bus. Nothing fancy about this journey.

The roads were not good either. I remember watching the rocks roll down the hillside. The roads were narrow. We hit a huge pot hole. Suddenly there was glass everywhere. The windshield had blow open! Glass shattered everywhere. No one was hurt. We kept going!

Many stops in small villages. I remember waking up to huge beautiful parrots everywhere. I was walking down the street and a huge monkey ( on a vine) came towards me. Swung past me! OMG. This is India. The hostels were full of bedbugs. Many of the other tourist would get eaten up at night. Bites everywhere.. the bugs would come out of the walls at night. They would have to burn their sleeping bags. I was told to eat bananas. I ate 10 bananas a day. Something about the bananas bring a scent to your skin and bedbugs and misquotes will stay away. It worked. I wasn’t bothered.

We stopped at the Taj Mahal. Truly an amazing work of art.

Looking at the monument is amazing. Now look behind you. You see a wall that separated the Taj from the village. The village was full of poverty. People begging. A man with a basket and a huge snake for entertainment. Seeing such ambiance on one side and poverty on the other was a statement of what India is.

7 long hot days on the bus. We finally made it to Goa.

Goa “ was” a place of solitude then. Now I understand it is a commercial setting full of 5 star hotels.

Goa was founded as a catholic Portuguese colony. 1 place in India with no mosquitos! That has changed too.

All the small houses were built like little churches. No electricity.

I rented a small house with 2 other people from Holland. It was $30 a month. Only 2 rooms. 1 block from the beach. Full of huge elongated palm trees. Every day we would take a bus to a small village called

Mapusa . The village had a beautiful market. We would buy rice, fresh ( big) prawns and vegetables, and cook on a fire every night. There was no kitchen. But running water. I had some shirts made at the market from a man who had no legs. Good man. Every day getting in the bus, back to Goa I would see women begging with small babies for money. Then 1 day I saw this woman give her baby back to her mother. She had borrowed the baby to get money.

Goa was enchanting and spiritual. Every sunset I would go to the beach ( no people) and give thanks for life. Then on the way back you could hear... the ome and chanting from a loud speaker. For a long time I looked for the people doing this. I found it. A recorded memorex hooked up to a speaker system. Oh well.

It was Christmas Day. Our landlord baked us a chocolate cake. No electric! She baked it over a fire with a steal lid on it.

The house didn’t have a toilet. Instead there was a small house next to the main house. This house was surrounded by a wall and a gate. You opened the gate, went in the room. There was a hole in the wall ( at he bottom). You did your thing ( swatting). Then from the outside a pig would come up to the hole and eat your shit. Had to be quick standing back up or the pig could get extra. Funny, the pig didn’t like toilet paper. We named the pig Percy. The name for toilets in Australia. We joked about giving Percy a Christmas gift.

Goa was beautiful. Full of drugs too. European youth. LSD and hashes and many parties. Especially New Years. I didn’t partake. I saw too many people waisted for days. And saw many people becoming addicted.

Then the $ started to fall. 30%. My ticket back to London had gone from $600 to $900. I was stressed. Decided to leave. I took a boat from Goa to Bombay. 2 days on the boat. Full of mosquitos and people. Reality was setting in.

I stayed 1 night in Bombay. It was dirty and full of people. I was ready to go home. Stressed about money.

I flew to London. I stayed 1 night in London and flew to Philadelphia. Cheapest flight I could find.

The 1st thing I did was check into a nice hotel with a beautiful comfortable bed and hot shower. Think it was A Marriott. It was heaven.

Back on the road. Thumb out! Onward to Illinois to see my father.

There are apparently 3.3 million! Dogs that enter the USA every year! This is a true invasion.. we must set up more kennels! They might be rapists or terrorist! Mr. President, what will you do? Send out the doggie national guard? My two dogs weren’t born here. But I was. Do they have to leave? Yes they are brown and black.. but I am white ? I think. Maybe some Czech in me by now. What nationality is your pet? And your forefathers? Were they stoke away cargo? Looking for a better life?

California

Such a hick! I thought I had an important interview for entry to Cypress College. This was important. This is why I moved here.

At the Beardens, I ironed a shirt. I put on my dress pants ( too short) dress shirt and tie. Got there early. I was nervous.

Found my way to the room where I was supposed to be at 2:00. There was a line of students waiting to get in. I thought this was a 1 on 1. Not! Everyone was dressed in shorts and sandals. I waited in line. One of the other students asked me if I was a teacher! What the fuck. I got out of line . Went to my car. Took my tie off. Untucked my shirt tail outside. Took my socks off . Then returned to the line. Signed up for classes. I guess I was in! Relief.

My father was sending me $125 a month for school ( child support). Which he always paid. I was thankful for that, but that wasn’t enough. I still had to work.

I got a job at House of Pies. Shawn Bearden.. my age.. worked there. It was horrible. 10:00 at night to 7:00 in the morning baking pies. I rented a furnished apartment for $120 a month. I was really alone. I went to the grocery store and bought everything that “I “ wanted and didn’t get in Clinton. Like whole milk! Ice cream! And more. I would take the day old pies home. I remember looking at my kitchen counter with 7 pies! Realized I could not work a night job, could not afford the apartment. I had never given up on anything. But had to face reality to survive. I quit the job. Found a new place to live thru student services. Packed up the car and moved. Without notice. They had my last months rent.

I rented a room from a family in Anaheim. The lady and her 2 delinquent teenage sons. I remember the short,red headed, chain smoking mother. Kind of like a short Lucy. All was ok.

Then I went back to Clinton for Christmas. Very strange. Our house on Center street was half empty. My mother had fallen in love with the 1st man she had a date with at Parents without Partners. Ok! But Harry was a good man. Put up with a lot from my mother. We know why he went deaf..bad joke.

The house was haunting. Still..heartless. I stayed away.. a good short visit with my father and Joan in their mobile home, with 7 kids. She and my dad married and moved back to Clinton. She worked at the bank full time and part time at a grocery store IGA.

I got a call from Jake Bearden in California. She asked me if I purchased a guitar? No. Someone tried to cash my check for a guitar. Oh boy. She refused it because of the signature. One of the kids where I was renting took my checks.

Got back to California and packed up! Moved in with a friend in Anaheim ( apartment).

A friend of Gary Snodgrass. We met at Cypress College at swim classes. Gary was beautiful. Had a crush on his.. but still in the closet and didn’t know what these feelings were for. He was a pilot and took me flying. I became friends of his family. Part of the family. Then Gary crashed his plane on Catalina island. Disabled for a long time. I went and visited him in the hospital many times. I met sarah small who convinced me to change to orange coast college.

At Cypress I met a few friends. Mike, Cindy another mike and Kathy. Kathy I had a crush on. We went out once. I think she wanted sex! Oh oh. We played. Something new. But I was scared. Think she dumped me because of that. Was sad and drank a bottle of bad wine. Later threw up at a party. Rot guy wine!

Mike and I became friends. He had a girlfriend Laura. Laura and I drove back to Chicago ( her karman Gia ) in the winter. I stopped and saw my family. Wore jeans with patches. My great grandma gave me $10 for new jeans. Which I bought pot! And went skiing in Wisconsin. For the day.

Mike worked as a janitor at a large store at night. He was stealing. Would open the back door and slide things out. Laura would drive by st night and pick them up. One night Laura ask me to go. I did! Bad timing. We were putting things in the car and headlights flashed in front of us! Busted! Police! I spent the night in county jail. I think I pissed away 5 pounds of weight in fear of my life with felons. I was released the next morning. Got 7 weekends in Buena Park jail cleaning police cars. I learned my lesson! Never again.

Funny.. mike and mike Cindy are still my friends after almost 50 years.

My brother mike moved in with me. He oped out of the Air Force. We had an apartment together. H smoked pot all day and did nothing. I was taking speed to stay up all night and read for classes. A neighbor once gave me LSD. I took it and went to see a friend who worked at Knotts Berry Farm. Oh, it kicked in. Actually said “ I have to leave”. Went back home. Actually it was a good trip. Nice and mellow and inspirational. I also took some canabinal. It was an animal tranquilizer. Great for sex. Had a date with this girl with big tits! We played and had much fun. No sex.

Then I met Bunny. She was 25! I was19. She loved sex. She kept me up all night. I had never cum before.. and kept hard all night. Didn’t know what cuming was. She loved it. But the 1st time was with a girl who was hitch hiking. She stayed the night in our apartment. She wanted sex. I indulged. She was on her period.she smelled bad down there. I didn’t like. I thought? Is this how every girl smells?

Road trip!

Reliving the moment.. I think sometimes I am more family to Roman than a lover.. he needs family ,but lover yes.. I stress about his lifestyle.. alcohol and more.. Then I have to reflect how I was. My 1st lover.. introduced me to drugs when I moved to San Jose, California.. it was a love hate relationship.. we partied for 3 years.. I always made sure I made it to work.. I was always responsible.. but it started to take it's toll. I knew I had to get out. I left him.. actually felt free again. This was the late 70's early 80's..good old days at Lord Johns.. it was almost a common thing at that time. Many of my friends now.. ( facebook) remember these days. If my parents had cared ( which they didn't). They would stress out the same as I do now. But then my parents were a bit of an alcoholic mess.. So I stop and breath.. hope it's a faze. He's responsible..will go to work tomorrow. Having the bar I see too many boys get hooked on drugs.. pervatine here/ crystal meth ( USA). I use to think the problem was only here..even though they say there is more in Czech Republic than all Europe. Finding out later it's a big problem everywhere.. USA too. The cheap cocaine. There is awaiting list for rehab hospital here. When I bought the bar, it was full of drugs.. I did a cleansing, but can't be the police. Everyone knows I'm anti drugs.. even anti marijuana. Life/zivot.. 20 years? from now I will look down and hope all is ok.. no stress ❤️breath..🙏 and pray.. love you more..I know Small note..friends and family who believe the lies of others.. loose the greatest love ..it's a sad affair. Betrayal is to yourself..and the pain is insulting.. not about me..you know who I'm talking about.

Good morning world..up to early again 3:15. Bad sleep.. Roman kept tossing and turning in his sleep. Tell he was having bad dreams.. the dogs next to me.. Buddha jealous of Roman sleeping with me always lays tight to my other side. No room to move. But Roman started new work yesterday..construction work. Came home very tired. Took a long bath. Was going to go to club for one drink.. but went to sleep instead. Now he has to adjust his hours. Up at 4;45 in the morning. His friends from Frydek come tonight. I hope they don't fuck up his job. Roman canceled his birthday party because of work. That met a lot. Another strange week. Still wearing long underwear.. rain and bitter cold. It's almost May. Problems with landlord and my dogs. Or shall I say the new hostel people ( took hotel). Always ask them if my dogs were ok outside parking? Always said no problem.. instead they went to landlord and complained.? Stab in the back. Karma Being that they are running a hostel without a permit from the government.. have no health permits and more..5 bathrooms and 90 beds..but that's their problem. Heard from Katy Gould.. started following me ( facebook) because Sandy gallin died? Bull ..she could write me a message.. blocked her. Then I get an email from Wolf TV.. what is this ..I write..who is this. He writes back.. it's Petr. The last time I heard from him was May 5.. his birthday.. he told me to fuck off. Ironically Roman's birthday is May 3. Sometimes Petr Wolf #2. It was a cordial conversation.. how are you etc. I ask him about his marriage.. and his son..who has to be 10 now. he hasn't responded. We met 2008.. together 6 years? Zivot Let's see what today will bring. Thank you John for a beautiful lunch at the Four Seasons Hotel. Haven't been out in a long time. You are right.. friendship is more important. People don't really understand my life.. sometimes I try to show fun and frolic living here in Prague.. my dream.. it's not that easy.. I sometimes envy the people retired. Thought I had it all worked out when I moved here.. living in my interest from my savings account.. then all went upside down. 2008.. I'm still here😇🙏.. love you too.

You know ..sometimes you can only do what you can do.. there are people who support you ( you know who you are). And I very much appreciate these people with my heart and soul. Then there are the people who constantly continue to give you negativity.. seems they have nothing more to do but criticize.. Example.. little Temple is going thru growing pains. Business is good. But 2 times now we have ran out of beer. Yesterday I checked 2 times with 2 barman. All is ok? Yes..I even made 2 trips to my suppliers yesterday.. well we ran out..my apologies. The good people in my life would say ..congratulations that business is good.. and they would be happy for me.. and drink pilsner ( which is still 50kc cheaper than a beer at escape) that's right! Escape doesn't have draft beer! Then there are the people who have never said a good word about me or my bar.. and make rude comments on Facebook to vent their own unhappiness.. Look! I make mistakes.. I will be the 1st to admit.. but I can't make wine out of water..I am human.. Thank you my friends and clients that support me and the bar/club.. you are why I am here. There is enough negativity in this world.. let's get a life.. love you too

Good morning world.. today is my dog Spirits birthday.. he is 15. I will always remember the 1st time we met.. Los Angeles flower mart. The owner brought Spirit into " the orchid".. set Spirit in the counter.. Spirit started giving me kisses.. he was one small puff of hair then.. I wasn't looking for a dog.. but fell in love.. 15 years later, here we are in Prague. Spirits has been here 11 years.. has flown from Los Angeles to Prague 2 times.. the 1st time I was scared to death.. I have a file of paperwork to get him here.. When I got Spirit, I figured we would have the same life longevity. Both we are both still kickn.. to my love of my life.. I love you Spirit

Good morning world.. the clock strikes 4:00 ( morning). Normally sitting in Little Temple bar in the dark.. having my coffee..now in a big kitchen in my apartment.. I do miss my old “ hobbit ” apartment.. old apartment now a hostel.. this place is so big.. I could live only in the kitchen and bedroom..would be enough space..

Spirit ( my dog) has had the hardest time .. 15 years this month.. getting old (er).. doesn’t like this change.. basically stays on my bed most of the time.. I even take his food to the bed to eat. Likes going back to the bar.. feels more secure.

I thought moving here would be better for Roman. Keep him out of the bar. Nope.. wrong.. he’s still there every night. After 4 years doing this..? Definitely a problem.. but now I have to be the change.. can’t worry about him.. I love him. I know ( history) you can’t change people..

We went to Aqua palace last Sunday.. it was ok.. have been two times before.. roman likes it a lot.. we took his friend from Ostrava..

I sat in the whirlpool ( naked) .. just watched the interaction of people.. children..women and men.. all naked together in the water.. no concerns.. people laughing.. talking.. relaxing and having fun.. this would never be except able in USA.. it would be almost criminal..

When we left, Roman tried to open the back window in my car.. the window literally fell out and broke.. this I didn’t need. Roman thought it was his fault and felt guilty…

Roman wanted to pay for it? Roman is not working.. everybody knows Roman’s history.. abandoned when he was a baby.. doesn’t know his parents.. adopted when he was 5, kicked out.. on the street.. homeless when he was 17. Started a life of survival, finding a lifestyle of money and more for the next few years.. we have an agreement that he won’t go back to that life.. but the money was too good. I fear he will go back ( if he hasn’t already done so).. if so, it will be the end.. he is young.. only sees what’s right in front of him.. not the future.. as most young people here. And this puts my own insecurities out. Feeling I can’t give him what he wants.. although he really doesn’t ask for much..time will tell..wish he had more ambition to better himself..

The weekend was very good and busy..busiest weekend since December.. don’t know why. There is no rhyme or reason to this business anymore.. can’t say I miss the hotel.. it was killing me.. now pulling myself out of the debt it caused.. life..

Rain last night and warmer weather.. seems like the freezing cold weather maybe gone.. thank God.. so far I didn’t have to buy snow tires this year ( again). I remember in Illinois, we would always have a snow storm around my birthday.. only one week to find out..

Birthdays.. done with them..can’t believe I will be 65! In one week.. the fear of 70? Omg.. I remember when we thought 35 was old… a

Time for shower and work.. to beautiful day.. to all.. love you too.

Life is a roller coaster.. after my last blog, I ask Roman to leave.. his drinking is out of hand.." Days of Wine and Roses" is gone.. he is the most passionate man I've been with. Owning a bar/club was only a venue for his addiction.. sad.. I actually ask him to leave because I love him. I can't be responsible..even though he is..I couldn't watch him destroy himself.. The gold heart belonged to my grandmother.. she understood, from my father, that alcoholism is a disease..I fear it myself..I gave the heart to him.. wear it with pride.. Roman is a good man..and a good heart..always the victim.. has to learn responsibility.. maybe comes with age. Or his friends and family ( Honza) will intervene..but like Petr Wolf..they only contribute to the problem. Because he's fun when he drinks. Last night was the 1st night he didn't wake me at 1:00 morning, drunk. Miss him..love him..I hope he finds his way. Please .. I will be alright.. this ain't my 1st rodeo.. knew when to end it this time..been there done that.. but will miss the passion.. and I still have a heart.. Tuesday is my birthday.. maybe small..early party at Little.. it's not important.. love you too

Good morning world.. the clock strikes 4:00 ( morning). Normally sitting in Little Temple bar in the dark.. having my coffee..now in a big kitchen in my apartment.. I do miss my old " hobbit " apartment.. old apartment now a hostel.. this place is so big.. I could live only in the kitchen and bedroom..would be enough space.. Spirit ( my dog) has had the hardest time .. 15 years this month.. getting old (er).. doesn't like this change.. basically stays on my bed most of the time.. I even take his food to the bed to eat. Likes going back to the bar.. feels more secure. I thought moving here would be better for Roman. Keep him out of the bar. Nope.. wrong.. he's still there every night. After 4 years doing this..? Definitely a problem.. but now I have to be the change.. can't worry about him.. I love him. I know ( history) you can't change people.. We went to Aqua palace last Sunday.. it was ok.. have been two times before.. roman likes it a lot.. we took his friend from Ostrava.. I sat in the whirlpool ( naked) .. just watched the interaction of people.. children..women and men.. all naked together in the water.. no concerns.. people laughing.. talking.. relaxing and having fun.. this would never be except able in USA.. it would be almost criminal.. When we left, Roman tried to open the back window in my car.. the window literally fell out and broke.. this I didn't need. Roman thought it was his fault and felt guilty... Roman wanted to pay for it? Roman is not working.. everybody knows Roman's history.. abandoned when he was a baby.. doesn't know his parents.. adopted when he was 5, kicked out.. on the street.. homeless when he was 17. Started a life of survival, finding a lifestyle of money and more for the next few years.. we have an agreement that he won't go back to that life.. but the money was too good. I fear he will go back ( if he hasn't already done so).. if so, it will be the end.. he is young.. only sees what's right in front of him.. not the future.. as most young people here. And this puts my own insecurities out. Feeling I can't give him what he wants.. although he really doesn't ask for much..time will tell..wish he had more ambition to better himself.. The weekend was very good and busy..busiest weekend since December.. don't know why. There is no rhyme or reason to this business anymore.. can't say I miss the hotel.. it was killing me.. now pulling myself out of the debt it caused.. life.. Rain last night and warmer weather.. seems like the freezing cold weather maybe gone.. thank God.. so far I didn't have to buy snow tires this year ( again). I remember in Illinois, we would always have a snow storm around my birthday.. only one week to find out.. Birthdays.. done with them..can't believe I will be 65! In one week.. the fear of 70? Omg.. I remember when we thought 35 was old... a Time for shower and work.. to beautiful day.. to all.. love you too.

Good morning world.. yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life.. I worked 17 hours hard labor moving furniture and cleaning the hotel. Went to sleep at 9:30 last night and up at 3:00 this morning. Yes a little exhausted.. chapped hands.. snow fall didn't help. But I learned a lot yesterday.. no violins please.. I gave up my apartment.. which I loved so others would have a place to live.. yes it's a change for all.. all I heard yesterday were complaints. How they didn't like this or that. I wish they had been at the meeting I had with the owner.. when I had to convince him to let others live in my apartment or be homeless.. Maybe this is some karmic resistance from the past with my parents and me.. I do feel like the parent in this situation with ungrateful children.. I learned who are my friends ( family). Yesterday I needed much help..apologizes to Jerry.. he is trying to help with Little Temple with new tv.. but haven't had the time to stop and help him.. Dominik thank you for your 100% help..Rebecca the same in a different manner.. the others, I don't want to fight. Resistance to change only created negativity.. when it's suppose to be a positive change. Am I being the selfish person here? I ask you. It's a new day.. now 4:00 in the morning.. will go back this morning and finalize the end of the hotel..will be a long day again.. full of emotions.. tearing down what I created 10 years ago.. I too resisted change for the well being of certain clients. But now have to take care of me. Spirit ( my dog 15 years).. doesn't like change either. My new apartment.. will not go anywhere except my bed.. security.. yesterday working at old apartment.. stayed in my old bedroom.. he doesn't understand.. but still gives me kisses.. like saying.. it's ok.. love him. My new apartment is nice.. but miss the hobbit still of life. Like Spirit I find myself living in one room ( the kitchen). The last 10 days have been hard. But I am not ungrateful. Change had to be done. Even though change is hard for old dogs and people.. Now go shower and walk my dogs to the park..then back to work..working like a 39 year old in a 65 year old body.. being positive.. grateful.. new day..prayers will be answered today..thank you all for your support.. you know who you are.. thank you Roman. love you.. ... zivot! Life!

Good morning world.. it's been a very stressful week. The full moon has taken its toll. Early January I decided to give up Temple Hotel. I didn't think it would happen so fast. I tried to sell it to a client, but the meeting with the owner wasn't so good. The owner rented it on the 1st day on the market. For almost twice the rent I was paying. In turn he offered m another 2 years on my lease.. oh my god ! I will be 67 when this is finished. So squash the rumors.. club and bar are here to stay.. Transition.. trying to keep everyone happy. I care about the people who work for me and the few permanent residents in the hotel ( who have to leave). The bar will be open nonstop( maybe 3 hours closed). I will give up my apartment to the people living in the hotel My dogs will not have access to the parking now. I will find a house or apartment to rent. This will be better for me. I'm here nonstop. This is not healthy as people knocking at my door as if it was an office. Soto a new chapter in my life.. oh many lives we live. 18 days to do a lot of work. Roman has been the best. Rebecca his shoulder to cry on. And I did. After the meeting I thought I was ok. Then walked down to the club.. it hit me.. after 10 years! I burst into tears. But then I know there will be less stress after the dust settles.. Now if everyone!! Can get on board and start speaking the truth.. club and bar and I are here to stay.. thank you D and M for your support.. love you too!