Strong rains...

Since around 2010, I have been dealing with leaky roofs and ceilings, mostly band-aid solutions since well, as if I knew how to take care of such things. over time, leaks would get worse, until the old-ass roof gives way at certain parts of the house. So ever since, I have always been restless when rains pour down really hard. I've also never though of the rains as something of a blessing or a nice view out of the window, as the thought of other people having it worse than my situation will always come into mind.

Fast forward to now, ok na yung bubong namin in the meantime. I get to leave my room as is, I don't have to worry about where leaks will pop out, among other things. Wala lang, it's just that when it rains really hard nowadays, I can't help but stay restless and alert, and last night, I basically could not sleep (nalate ako ng gising for work hahah). And of course, I'll always think of people who have it much worse than me, suffering from the heavy rains and floods and all that shit.

So when it does rain, I try to rest easier than before, but will never get completely comfortable.

2 Mental Scenarios

Scenario 1: “I miss having a family of my own, I envy every single one of my fucking friends who still have their parents with them, being happy posters and stuff during occasions and shit...(occasionally cries in sleep)”

Scenario 2: “Do I really miss having parents? I know damn well that all tears I have been crying have always been selfish, and I’m sure all families out there have wild shit of their own in various intensities, and who knows what kind of shit my own family would have had if they were present in some version of reality, so do I really miss them? Yes I do, I probably do not miss the concept of having one...”

Every now and then, nag co conflict maige yung mga kaisipan na ‘to, the latter is mostly something I eventually learned on my own. Must be a unique part of living, I guess.

I guess I meant to say “I miss you so much, mom”, since it’s been a few days since your death anniv, but alas, such are words that can only be thrown at the wind.

I’m not atheist, but I’m not very religious either.

The reason is the crowd in general. I personally don’t like people who are extremely religious to the point of annoyance and toxicity. Anyone here ever encounter people who talk like they eat, sleep, and breathe religion like it’s the only selling point of their entire being? :))) Also, it’s very possible to go to church, attend to religious things, adhere to commandments, pray, all of that, AND still be shit to everyone around. So I ask these kinds of people, why not just be generally good to people around us?

Also, I don’t easily stay put in one place, which explains why going to church isn’t too much of my thing (unless maybe for friends’ weddings). I remember when I was younger, I couldn’t stay put in church, I’d ask my mom if we can go already. I’m sure I annoyed her in whatever ways hahah, other than that, I personally see no need whatsoever in performing religious duties (praying, church attendance, holy rosary, etc.).

Religion can be likened to genitalia in a sense that these are best kept to ourselves or with like-minded people, not being waved around, and most of all not sticking them down our throats, as regardless of the various kinds of religion, it isn’t for everyone. I believe in peaceful practice, so either way I leave people be with their beliefs.

(Not like anyone cares, but if ever, I’ll care very less about people getting offended somehow about this one hahah, feel free to ignore and/or unfollow~)

Some recent shower/bathroom/2am thoughts...

I think tama lang na hindi pa ako nagkaka jowa hanggang ngayon.

I explain later, pero bakit ko naman nasabi?

Before anything, yes I know this is straight up comparing myself to others which isn’t good, but hey, thoughts come and go nga naman. Just hear me out :)))

I look at other people, then and now. Some of them I’ve admired to some degree (crushes, idols, etc.), others who are friends and just acquaintances. Some of these people seem to have better lives now, living seemingly well off in and/or out of the Philippines, others seem to have great jobs and careers. Some have partners, in which some are already engaged, married, or expecting kids in due time. And since someone like me only sees the tip of their icebergs, I could say for some that they’re living happily.

I took out a previous paragraph and came up with this thought instead; would I have been a good/better/great partner of someone I’d have been in a relationship with some years back or recently? Or worse? Yyyeah there’s no solid answer here, it’s just a what-if thought anyway.

To address the first line of this post, there are times I can’t help but think that the current partners of previous crushes and others I once tried to hit on are better off as they are, as if they were probably better than what I would have ever been to some degree. Wala lang. But I will say though, I’m confident that knowing what I am now, I believe I will have been able to do the best that I can for my partner if I were in a relationship, as we all know that this has processes of its own. I just can’t entirely say the same for the younger me. I dunno, might be the “late bloomer” in me talking, I was also pretty dum when I was young. :)))

Haven’t been able to link my IG to here in a while,

So this hasn’t been relatively active ever since. Hahah :v

Me face saying "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" pretty much sums up them 159km yesterday hahah :v https://www.instagram.com/p/CcIyG9kPTVl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Thank you Mike and Keith (@keithlens) for the new route to Tagaytay through Daang Hari, Molino, and Amadeo. That's about 140km all in all to wrap our Saturday up~ (Though nag 159km ako total, including coming from the house to Sta. Mesa meeting point and back :D ) https://www.instagram.com/p/CcIxPdlPjrH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Hindi man kami nakapag fried siopao na sine salestalk sa amin ni Mike ni Jonas (@tortang_dragon), nakapag bisita pa din kami sa bagong tulay ng Binondo-Intramuros, inaugurated just last Apr 5. Cons nito though, the streets going to and from the bridge are (still) quite narrow, like, they're wide enough for a car and some space for it, mostly on Binondo's side. https://www.instagram.com/p/CcGO7ZAPU4E/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#StreetStyle #FlowRevo event at McKinley Hill with the @fightsaberph boyz and some of the Flow Arts people. Missed performing in front of people even if mistakes were made. Hahah, I share our vid soon~ Thank you guys for coming and joining the fun~ (c) Mike (@miketien_007) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbk4aujPhcA/?utm_medium=tumblr

The rota today: > Ortigas > EDSA > East Ave. > 1 lap around Elliptical Rd, labas sa Quezon Ave. > Quezon Ave. dere derecho lang > streets adjacent to UST (and because Dimsum Treats is <3 ) > Quiapo via Recto Ave. > Avenida to Taft Ave. > ikot around Intramuros > labas sa PLM area to Roxas Blvd. > Roxas Blvd. derecho lang, kanan sa CCP > tambay sa likod ng Gloria Maris seaside area > uwi via Makati (Buendia to Mandaluyong) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ61Ww1PmfR/?utm_medium=tumblr

Finally got Ganyu after getting a C1 Mona hahah :v (goodbye 147 saved wishes), gonna try to get her better flower and feather pieces, each with good crit dmg and rate and atk% substats. Iz gonna take a while though, because > it's hard to get good Wanderer's pieces > we can only farm one 5-star Wanderer's or Gladiator piece at a time per boss (40 resin) or after every completed abyss floor (9 to 12) https://www.instagram.com/jettaltura/p/CZKiInBvT9u/?utm_medium=tumblr

Laking tulong ng mga rack sa pag grocery ride hahah :D #TheProjectPH https://www.instagram.com/jettaltura/p/CYgoov6Pirt/?utm_medium=tumblr

View of some Eastern parts of Metro Manila and part of the Laguna Lake, from somewhere in Angono. What a way to start the year, pero bahay muna ulet kasi COVID cases are getting high again. :v https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTIefkPVCT/?utm_medium=tumblr

Starting the year with a bit of biking :D @theproject_ph #TheProjectPH #TheProjectGravelGrinder https://www.instagram.com/p/CYMN8_6PtiD/?utm_medium=tumblr

Mej nakakapanibago mapadpad ng hilagang Maynila. Hahah :v The rota was: > Shaw Blvd. > Sta. Mesa to A. H. Lacson Ave. > from SM City San Lazaro, LRT Line 1 hanggang Monumento Rotonda > turned to EDSA and made ikot from the ilalim near Ayala Malls Cloverfield > Quirino Hwy. to a tropa's place to hang for a long while > home via Mindanao Ave. and EDSA and Ortigas https://www.instagram.com/p/CX6Mf5lv3yB/?utm_medium=tumblr

Samgy Garden is probably one of the best samgyupsal places out there. One can either go for the usual Samgyup grill or hotpot per table, where meats + seafood + wagyu cubes go well. They only accommodate reservations via their Facebook page though. Because a lot of people do so, I had to book as long as 2 weeks prior (pics are from different times with some of the boiz hahah). They have only 1 branch as far as I remember (Seascape Village in Pasay, with a great view of the Manila Bay), but I hope they expand up north soon hahah :D https://www.instagram.com/p/CXqxDDSv15B/?utm_medium=tumblr

Patunay ng buhay (2) Rota: > Kapasigan (punta ng bike shop, pinapunta sa Taguig) > C5 Taguig to some machine shop dahil akala ko may tama yung BB threads sa frame, eh wala pala so buti may literal na katabing bikeshop, pasalpak, yey > Roxas Blvd. via Fort BGC McKinley and Makati > Tried Tramway after a long time, same old same old lang din naman, mabawasan lang ng choices hahah > Tambay somewhere along Manila Bay, eh mainet so layas din agad hahah > Uwi via Manila (Kalaw, Legarda, Sta. Mesa, etc.) and Shaw Blvd. https://www.instagram.com/jettaltura/p/CXnr9rUvd_f/?utm_medium=tumblr