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jessmaybank · 9 months

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AHHHH INCREDIBLE!! On my knees for bodyguard Rafe (& you tbh) 💕💕💕

Protector (A Bodyguard!Rafe Cameron AU)

Hello my loves! I think this has been my most awaited fic ever? I am so overwhelmed with the number of you who have been waiting excitedly for this, from the moodboard to the teaser, thank you so much. This is my longest, most story-driven work I ever created. I adored writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it just as much. I took heavy inspiration from the Twisted Series for this (iykyk) so some things may be pretty similar. Any feedback is much appreciated. Lots of love.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Rafe Cameron and Billionaire's daughter!reader Word Count: 14K Warnings: Swearing, mentions of stalking, mentions of violence, mentions of panic attacks. Playlist inspiration

You anxiously bounced your leg up and down, the slight clicks of your heels matching the sound of the large grandfather clock ahead of you, the noise doing nothing to soothe your spiraling mind.

Sitting inside your father’s office wasn’t new to you, but the circumstances which you found yourself in certainly weren’t something you were familiar with. You tried to find comfort in the dark wooden room, the art on the walls that you had analysed too many times or the empty armchair behind the equally undecorated desk, but the pounding of your heart didn’t slow.

You forced your eyes shut as you mentally counted from one to ten, hoping that by the time the numbers came to a halt, your chest would stop heaving and the situation would resolve itself. Of course, you knew this was false hope.

The sound of low chatter outside the large oak door was yet another confirmation of your reality, as you seethed in a breath, eyes fixated on the door handle, awaiting the verdict of your future.

The door opened with a creak, and you looked up to find your father in his signature button-up shirt and trousers, the outfit he had on since as long as you could remember. His face appeared calm but the crease between his eyebrows was a tell-tale sign of stress as well as his lips which were strained into a smooth line.

He was followed by a man you were unfamiliar with, causing your eyes to widen in shock and anticipation. His frame was huge, much taller than your dad who was nearing his sixties, therefore ending up towering over him. His shoulders were broad and chest strong, which you could easily make out through his black blazer and white shirt. His jawline was sharp and manly, cheekbones sticking out for attention. His hair was buzzed, affirming his hard and ruthless look, a wild contrast to his piercing, ocean blue eyes which should have emitted a soothing look, instead appearing emotionless.

You swallowed hard when his eyes met yours, the lack of anything behind his gaze making you shudder and turn your attention to your father who was shuffling behind his desk and took a seat in front of you. The other man stayed standing, crossing his arm in front of him, as if to await further instructions.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting darling. I trust you had a smooth journey here?” Your father spoke as he looked over at you, sending you a reassuring smile which normally would have quieted your mind, but his words didn’t have the desired effect.

“No problem Papa, I understand you’re busy.” You nodded, carefully following his movements as he pulled out a stack of papers and a series of brown envelopes from his drawer, the sight sending a shiver down your spine as you turned your attention to your hands in your lap.

“Mr Cameron, please take a seat.” Your father spoke again, and linking a name to his face filled you with a sense of satisfaction. You watched as he pulled out the chair next to you and took a seat, slightly bumping his knee with yours, causing an unexpected surge of energy to run through you, as you quickly pulled your leg further away from him.

“Thank you for meeting me at such a short notice.” His attention now turned to Mr Cameron.

“Of course, sir.” He spoke, voice low and husky, perfectly suited to his outside demeanor.

“As you know, my daughter has been receiving threatening messages. The perpetrator is currently unknown, but my team is looking into it as we speak. However, I am having to spend a considerable amount of time travelling for business to various countries in the upcoming months.” He continued, eyes darting between the pair of you, voice serious and pressing, his words making your internal organs ache from the grim truth.

“My daughter’s safety is most important to me. Whoever is following her may be dangerous with bad intentions. It is crucial that she is protected until this individual is revealed.” He followed, attention now diverted to Mr Cameron solely who nodded in understanding and determination.

“Darling, I have hired Rafe Cameron here to be your bodyguard while I am away. He has been briefed and is tasked with looking after you 24/7. He will be taking you to your classes and staying until you are ready to be picked up. I do not want you leaving anywhere without him.” Your father spoke to you, and with each word you felt your breath growing shallower as your pulse picked up. You could feel your hands growing clammy and mind fogging over from the understanding and the weight his words carried.

“A bodyguard!? 24/7? Papa, I’m sure that’s not necessary.” You started warily, not wanting to upset your father or go against his words. The truth is, you were scared. You have been plagued by candid images of yourself, taken on someone’s camera who knew your address and found amusement in posting them to you with enclosed cryptic messages. But the idea of losing your independence completely made you feel like you were suffocating and unable to breathe.

“It absolutely is necessary, and I will not be willing to have a further discussion about this.” He shut you down with a hard gaze, leaving you to nod and divert your attention out the window. Fighting would have been no use, and the lack of sleep from the past week had left you unwilling to burn your energy unnecessarily.

“I will leave you with Mr Cameron who will explain more about the arrangements.” He nodded as he began to stand, signaling that the meeting has officially concluded. Heaps of questions were running through your mind as well as worry and caution. You had no idea what the next months would bring, and the feeling of unknown has brought a sick feeling to your stomach.

You stood up alongside Rafe, who awaited your father to open the door and give him a handshake, followed by the paperwork he had on his desk just a moment ago. You could only imagine the details these held about you, curious to find out and yet not wanting to ask.

“Y/N, just a moment?” You heard your father’s voice urging you to stay inside as he closed the door behind your new bodyguard. You looked up at him expectingly, with a little hardness behind your eyes.

“I know this is a huge ask darling. You are in senior year of college, and I know you don’t want someone to follow you around all the time. But I cannot have something happen to you.” His voice shook a little in fear, the significance of his words throwing you a little, immediately feeling guilty for disapproving of his intentions. You reached out as you gave him a hug and an understanding nod. You clutched your bag and followed out of his office, leaving you to bump into a hard chest, almost sending you stumbling backwards. You found Rafe’s hand around your wrist, steadying your uncontrolled movement as you looked up at him annoyed.

“I understand you have to be close to me Mr Cameron, but perhaps leaving a little room to breathe might be good for us both?” You questioned him with raised eyebrows as you threw your bag over your shoulder and pulled your arm from his grip, turning to strut downstairs towards your car, wanting nothing more than to be in the safe space of your home. Your sudden departure led to you missing the way his eyes twinkled following your words and the way a ghost of a smile hinted at his lips.

You looked around in confusion, trying your best to recite the parking spot you left your car in at the time of your arrival to your father’s office. You groaned in frustration as you walked up and down, cursing yourself because how can someone lose their car so easily!?

“Your car will be waiting for you at your apartment. I’m driving you home.” Came an aggravating voice from beside you, startling you out of your thoughts. Realisation hit as his words sunk in, while you turned to face him with a frown on your face.

“You know, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.” You stated while crossing your arms to highlight your annoyance.

“I’m sure you are Miss Y/L/N, otherwise you wouldn’t have your license.” He replied smugly as he pulled a car key out of his suit pocket, opening the door to a black range rover beside you. He looked at you expectantly while you weighed your options up. Your apartment was a half an hour drive away from the city and in heels you would not be able to make a single leg of the journey comfortably. With a huff, you threw yourself into the passenger seat and without another look in his direction you waited until he closed the door behind you and walked around to the sit behind the wheel.

He reversed the car smoothly and got on the road, and while you almost questioned how he knew where you lived, you were reminded that he likely knew more about you than you did yourself. You stared out the window as the radio played in the background and you contemplated how you got in this position.

Being a billionaire’s daughter had often led to you being pinpointed in a crowd. People knew your father and labelled you as stuck up and pretentious or wanted to be your friends hoping to be sucked into the lavish lifestyle. You learned from an early stage that people can’t be trusted, keeping most of them at arms-length, only letting a few carefully chosen candidates into your heart. You struggled with dating and making friends, so the idea of someone being so obsessed with you to a point of stalking was unfamiliar and scary.

“I installed cameras and a new alarm system at your apartment before this meeting. I will show you how to access it when we get in.” He interrupted your thoughts, noting how his tone was monotone and professional, cold and reserved at the same time. His words hit you as your eyebrows drew together in sense.

“Wait, hold on. You went into my apartment without anyone telling me?” You looked at him with wide eyes as a huff left your lips.

“Clearly if you are unaware that someone gained access to your home, then we had a problem.” He confirmed, eyes hard on the road.

“That’s not really the point.” You mumbled in a whisper, but you were sure he heard you.

“That’s exactly the point.” He grumbled, sending a glance your way before returning his attention to the scene in front of his eyes.

“I will also need your class schedule. Your father had been unable to provide me with it.” He continued, earning a scoff from you.

“Do I also have to tell you when I go to the toilet?” You asked, sarcasm dripping from your words as you rolled your eyes.

“If it requires you to leave my sight, yes.” He nodded, leaving you dumbfounded and more annoyed than before if that was even possible.

“Fantastic.” You whispered to yourself as you noticed that you were pulling up to your apartment building. You jumped out the second the engine was off and made your way towards the elevator, with Rafe right behind you. You gave a friendly wave to the receptionist whom you have become accompanied with in the past year of your residency.

As soon as you arrived to the top floor, you rummaged around to find your keys, feeling a sense of relief when you found them, ready to get inside your place.

“You won’t need those. New lock.” Rafe muttered as he held out a new, silver key towards you. You paused for a second, debating whether to even question the fact that he changed your lock on his own accord, without your knowledge, but you felt too tired and overwhelmed. You snatched the key from his grasp and entered your home, sighing in relief as you tossed your purse on the nearest countertop and flopped onto your sofa, reaching to pull your heels off in a single movement, throwing them towards your shoe rack.

You leaned back, allowing your head to hit the cushion and closing your eyes for a second, in hopes of forgetting everything. Your blissful state however was interrupted by a cough from Rafe, who you realised was standing in front of you, with an expectant expression.

“You got me back home safely Mr Cameron. I’m sure you are free to go now until I need you?” You asked, the need to curl up in bed and sleep taking over you in a whirlwind.

“Of course. I will be in the spare bedroom if you need me.” He nodded as he looked at you briefly, appearing hard and emotionless, seemingly his natural state of being. Understanding washed over you as you gazed across the room to the spare bedroom, a suitcase waiting on the floor with various shirts hanging off the door hook.

“The spare bedroom? You’re staying here?” You spat out in shock and terror a headache setting in from the number of unexpected turns today has brought you.

“24/7 was the assignment Miss Y/L/N. Your father asked me to be as close as possible, in case your stalker were to try and approach you in your home. So yes, I will be staying here.” He answered crankily, although his expression stayed stoney and you almost felt compelled to see what you have to do to bring any emotion out of him.

“This is ridiculous.” You muttered to yourself, as you buried your face in your hands. “I suppose that means we’re housemates now Mr Cameron. I hope you enjoy watching trashy TV.” You joked as you sent him a teasing smile, trying your best to mask your frustration with sarcasm.

“Let me make something clear Miss Y/L/N.” His tone condescending as he took a step closer to where you sat. “I am your bodyguard, and I will protect you with my life. I am not your friend, and I am not your housemate. I will not get involved in your personal life. You just have to do as I say when it comes to security matters. That is all.” His arrogance fueled something in you, warming you from inside out as you could almost feel smoke evaporating out of you. Instead of dignifying his statement with any reaction, you plastered on a smile and stood up, ready to make your way towards your bedroom.

“Glad we had a nice talk Mr Cameron.” You nodded, smiling. “Make yourself at home.” You opened your arms as you signaled around your living room and without another word, you walked into your room, slamming the door behind you with a little too much spite while you groaned to yourself. That night you fell into bed, eyes pounding with a headache and stomach churning from the events of the day, annoyed and frustrated at the world. And although you had hoped, tomorrow you would wake up and there would be no stalker, no Rafe Cameron and no college to deal with, you shed a tear as you realized you were utterly in the deep end of it all.

Waking up the following morning, you had approximately two seconds of bliss and calm before you heard clatter coming from outside of your door, reminding you that you no longer had the apartment all to yourself. You got up with a sigh and got ready for the day, thanking yourself for prioritizing an en-suite bathroom last year during your flat hunting weeks and took a deep breath before exiting the bedroom.

You found Rafe in the kitchen, leaning against the island with his phone in one hand and a mug in the other, already dressed in his black trousers and dark, navy shirt, seemingly ready for his day.

“Morning.” You offered with a grumble, as you walked towards your coffee machine, to find it has fresh, still hot coffee in it. “Is this for me?” You asked, brows furrowed as you glanced at him.

“I made too much.” He answered diplomatically, making you hum and blush slightly, feeling stupid to have assumed he would purposely make you a drink.

“I have three classes today. I have to get going soon if you’re ready?” You glanced at your phone to check the time, seeing you have approximately fifteen minutes to get going to avoid being late.

He nodded, setting his mug on the kitchen island and waiting for you to grab your belongings to leave your home.

The journey to the college was quiet and slightly awkward, the new routine and person sat next you unfamiliar and creating a sense of unsettlement in you. You knew you would get more looks than usual in your school, with a bodyguard trailing behind you at all times. You had texted your friends in the car to let them know, their reactions full of questions, more so about his appearance than his purpose, making you internally scoff as you suppressed a grin.

“My god, he is hot.” Your friend, Bella squealed as she laid an eye on him, making you roll yours in fake annoyance.

“I wouldn’t mind him following me around.” Agreed Mia, as she gave you her usual hug as if she hadn’t seen you all but two days ago.

“These are my friends, Bella and Mia. And this is Rafe Cameron.” You did a quick introduction, the girls seemingly swooning as Rafe gave them an approving nod.

“Have you heard from them recently?” Asked Mia as the three of you made your way towards your first class of the day. In the meantime, Rafe allowed a smug smirk to play on his lips from the appreciation your friends showed, although he secretly wished the praise came from you.

“Not since last week. I tried to figure out if there is a pattern of when they show up, but nothing. Sometimes I’ll get two letters in a day, sometimes nothing for two weeks.” Your shoulders slumped in disappointment as you shook your head, frustrated that after months of torment, you still hadn’t figured out who your stalker was.

“It’s okay Y/N. Your dad’s whole team is working to find this person. And you have us. And well, I suppose Rafe might help too.” Bella bumped your shoulder with a grin on her face, making you chuckle from her reassurance.

The next weeks you fell into a routine with Rafe. While your stalker hasn’t been active, you would wake up, go to your classes and have him sit a couple of desks behind, eyeing you carefully. Then you would go home, have dinner - which no matter how many times you offered, he refused to have with you. You watched TV while he sat on the armchair to the side of you, looking at his phone instead of the screen that had your favourite films and series playing. You then went to bed when you had enough, only to hear him make some food for himself, until the light in the kitchen was turned off and the door to the spare room closed for the night.

Considering the two of you now lived under the same roof, you had not learnt much about Rafe. He kept to himself, only spoke when he was spoken to – and even then, only if he felt the need to justify anything with a verbal answer. He was grumpy and harsh and yet you were fascinated by him, wanting to learn more.

So, one morning when you woke up, you made it a mission to befriend him. A stimulating challenge is what you named it, because it had nothing to do with the fact that this awfully handsome man was by your side, each and every day. It was simply and only fascination.

You grinned at yourself in your mirror before you stepped out of your room, ready to accomplish the task you set for yourself.

“Good morning Mr Cameron.” You mused the moment you laid your eyes on him, in his more casual attire as he swapped his button down to a black t-shirt.

“Morning Miss Y/L/N.” He answered with brows raised and a flicked of confusion appearing around the creases of his eyes. So he is capable of showing emotion.

“I thought we could have a day out at the mall today? I don’t have classes and I could use a break.” You smiled innocently as you grabbed your keys and wallet, a glimmer of cheekiness playing on your face.

“Whatever you would like.” Rafe nodded, pocketing his phone and grabbing his car keys, gesturing towards the door. You happily followed, eagerly making you way down to his car and jumping into the passenger seat the second the car opens.

You could see Rafe giving you an odd look, mixed with confusion and a hint of amusement that disappeared just as quickly as it came.

“Do you like shopping?” You asked, your first attempt to break down the barriers in between the two of you as he backed out of your apartment.

“Not particularly.” He grumbled as he scrunched his nose at the thought.

“Hm. That’s a shame.” You snorted a giggle, imagining the well over six foot tall, pure muscle of a man navigating your favourite shops.

“When is your birthday?” You asked, the next question rolling off your tongue with ease. You could see Rafe glancing in your direction awkwardly before diverting his attention back to the road.

“Soon.” He said diplomatically, making you roll your eyes.

“Come on Mr Cameron. You probably already know mine alongside my blood type, how many moles I have on my body and the name of my childhood arch nemesis.” You joked, referring to the wad of papers he has been given about you. “The least you can do is tell me your birthday.” You almost itched your eyes when a hint of a smile played on his lips, before he answered your question, monotone and composed.

“November 8th.” He said simply, your eyes widening.

“Rafe, that’s next week!” You exclaimed in shock, his first name leaving your lips with such ease as if your only purpose was to repeat it over and over again. He shrugged in carelessness, while you planted the small piece of information away in your brain for a later date as you arrived at one of your favourite places to be.

“And what’s your favourite colour?” You carried on with the interrogation, earning another look in your direction from him.

“What is this?” He grumbled, not amused.

“Just trying to get to know you at least a little. Since we’re spending every day together.” You shrugged, a cheeky grin on your face.

“Well, don’t.” Rafe shut you down as you let out an exaggerated sigh of disappointment and crossed your arms, looking out the window. I’ll try again later - you thought.

A while later, you bit down on your lips to suppress a chuckle as you watched Rafe’s eyes darting between the number of clothing and shoe racks, his displeasure clear on his features. You were currently on the hunt for a few new dresses and shoes to match as you held up a few options to try on before making your way towards the dressing rooms. You had several different items of dresses that you liked the look of, but in true nature you wouldn’t be willing to decide until you saw how they hugged your curves.

“I will wait here.” Rafe stopped just outside the changing rooms, making your brows furrow.

“Actually Mr Cameron, I could use some help deciding.” You started, seeing the way his eyes widened ever so slightly at your proposition. “Please?” You added, bright, doe eyes on display, your best smile on your lips, hoping to sway him. When you heard a grunt that sounded very much like him giving up a fight, you grinned and squealed, almost skipped into a cubicle where you changed into your first option.

“What do we think?” You chirped as you leaped out of the dressing room and gave him a little twirl in your pink dress. He looked up from his phone and clenched his jaw before turning his attention back to the device.

“It looks fine.” He nodded, not sparing another look, but you didn’t miss the way his knuckles whitened from the force in which he held his phone in his grip.

“Wow, don’t shower me in compliments too much.” You joked, while walking back in and trying the rest of your options on. Each followed with a fine and a small look, while internally you wished you invited your girl friends who would actually be some use in helping you make a decision.

Trying your last dress on, a silk, black, slip on dress with a pair of silver heels, you stepped out, not expecting anything different. You were surprised to see his jaw slightly falling slack and eyes widening with his pupils dilating as he seethed in a small breath, before shutting his eyes and looking away. The reaction left you feeling hot all over as your cheeks heated and your throat felt dry, desperately licking your lips. His approval of you made you feel things that previously you could only imagine, the interaction making you want more from him, seeing how far you can push him.

“So, which one?” You croaked out, as you looked over at yourself in the large mirror.

“This one.” He nodded while you watched him look over at you up and down one more time, shifting in his seat and running his hands over his neck, the veins of his arms popping making your chest heave.

“Great.” You smiled in fake confidence, but the moment you closed the door behind you, you felt your knees buckling whilst you replayed his reaction to you, the idea of bringing an emotion out of him now feeling more of a challenge for you to not crumble under him.

Quickly, you changed back into your clothes and met Rafe outside who was now standing, and phone pocketed. You couldn’t help a small blush creeping on your cheeks as you looked at him, stepping in front of him to make your way to the register.

You visibly shifted as your cashier checked Rafe out, clearly flustered, although as you looked back you found his eyes on you as opposed to her, the proximity of him standing right behind you sending a small shiver down your spine. Kindly, you smiled at her watching as she stiffened under your gaze while calling your items through and accepting your payment. You reached for the bag she offered you, until a warm, large hand on your lower back stopped you in your tracks and you found Rafe reaching over you to take a hold of the bag.

“Thank you.” You breathed out as you looked at him and sent him a shy smile, earning nothing more than his signature nod as while he removed his hand and waited for you to leave the line and make your way out of the shop.

Your next destination was a bookstore, your most loved shop in the whole mall. It’s where you spent most of your time, the place filling a void that no purse or expensive brand could.

After sending a smile and a wave to the woman behind the counter, you started browsing through the books, picking out a few, looking over the covers while engrossed in the text at the back, holding onto a few whilst placing back others, making a mental note of those that caught your attention.

A period of time and picking out five new books later, you realized Rafe had wandered off, spotting his large, towering figure at the other end of the small shop, still in your sight as he was reading the first couple pages of a book himself. The image t of his crouched back, leaning over, lips slightly parted as his eyes fixated on the words in front of him enlightened a warmth in your chest, his soft look unusual and yet so fitting for him. You quietly walked towards him, not wanting to disturb him, your plan seemingly failing as he jumped a little after you stepped on a creaky floorboard.

“Found something you like?” Smiling, you diverted your attention to the cover, which from the front it looked like some sort of history book that you were unfamiliar with.

“It’s okay.” He hummed as he closed it and went to place it on the shelf, before you placed your hand on his, electricity running through the both of you as he stared at you in disbelief.

“Let me get it for you.” You grabbed onto the book, waiting for him to let go, but he just shook his head.

“Stop being stubborn. It’s a book. At least I can watch you do something other than stare at your phone all evening.” You grinned, as he scoffed at your accusation, finally allowing you to add his book to your pile.

“Like those mindless shows you watch are any better.” Grumbling, he reached towards you as he took the books out of your hand, now holding your shopping bags in one arm and those in the other, while you stared up at him in shock.

“My shows are very entertaining, thank you very much.” You bit back a smile, the interaction leaving you happy as he peeled back his layers slightly, feeling of accomplishment washing over you.

“Whatever you say. You ready to go?” He pointed his head towards the counter, and you nodded, following after him as you completed another purchase, excited to have been able to treat him just a little. Rafe, although would never admit it, felt beyond himself as his heartrate failed to settle, replaying the soft touch of your fingertips on his knuckles and your attentive eyes on him as he tried to convince himself that he was not gaining feelings. He was professional and you were kind, sweet and generous, but only a client regardless.

November 8th came around like lightspeed, and before you knew it, you found yourself waking up extra early as you paraded around your kitchen with several bowls and utensils scattered around the island, a large mess as you were working on Rafe’s birthday cake, while convincing yourself that you were just acting as a friendly neighbour to a man who was tasked to protect you.

You baked the batter last night, pretending to go to sleep in your room, only to re-emerge a couple of hours later once you were sure Rafe had laid his head down for the night. You were surprisingly good at remaining quiet during baking, resulting in you having a ready cake in the morning that just needed decorating.

You settled for a blue icing, with simple white swirls and patterns and a soft ‘Happy Birthday Rafe’ in the middle of the cake which you were very satisfied with once it was finished.

Shuffling rang through your apartment just as you finished, leaving you scrambling for a candle and a lighter as you planted the item in the icing, lighting it and holding it in your hands as you waited for him to appear out of his room.

He looked at you with wide eyes as a visible blush crept onto your face at his sleepy state while you noticed his top half was unclothed, only a pair of boxers covering him. His strong abs and wide legs left you breathless as you looked him over, finally settling on his shocked expression, slack jaw and slightly agape mouth. Not good, not good at all.

“What is this?” He asked, voice husky and full of morning rasp that made you swoon internally and bite down on your lips, wishing that the act could ground you and help you keep it together.

“Well, don’t make me sing for you Mr Cameron.” You joked, hoping your words could mask your flustered being. He took a step closer, carefully reading the words on the cake over and over again, until his eyes dropped to the mess behind you and finally landed on your smiley, excited expression as he swore his heart fluttered in admiration for the first time in his life.

“You baked me a cake?” He let out, confused and a little lost, his stoney appearance crumbling at your feet as his eyes sparkled, basking in your kindhearted gesture.

“Hmm, I tried my best. You know, it’s extremely hard to do anything for someone’s birthday when they are following you around constantly.” You rolled your eyes playfully, holding out the cake nearer to him.

“Make a wish and blow out the candle before the wax melts all over it, please.” A chuckle left his lips and you had to suck a breath in, the sound not something you were familiar with but god, if you didn’t wish you could hear it again. It felt like the pair of you had passed an unspoken milestone, him warming up to you enough to see him in a vulnerable state of momentary bliss.

He took another step closer until he looked down and blew out the candle, his eyes meeting yours as they were full of gratitude, making you wonder just how a man like Rafe Cameron spends his birthdays.

“Well, I’m sure you must have things planned for your birthday? Since I couldn’t get you anything else, I was planning on pinky promising you that I would not leave my apartment all day, so you could go out and have fun.” You smiled and shrugged, the offer seeming so mundane, but you hoped he could feel at least a little at ease at least on such a special day.

“That’s..” He started, brows furrowed, still in shock from the way a client of his made such an effort for him. “That’s very kind, but not necessary.” He settled on, diplomatically and not wanting to give anything away.

“I assure you Mr Cameron, it’s fine. You can track me on the cameras if you need to.” You chuckled, the soft smile that appeared on Rafe’s lips was a mixture of thankful and shy, but most of all sad and it made you feel like somehow your soul ached from the intensity of it all.

“You have plans today, don’t you?” The question left your lips more shocked than you would have liked as his face twisted into a second of pain before he gathered himself.

“No, I don’t. I’m working.” A shrug of his shoulders was his only answer, but the way they fell stiff proved his discomfort, making your heart clench.

“What about your family?” Your voice only above a whisper as you gazed at him in sadness and guilt eating you alive to have taken this day away from him without knowing.

“Y/N…” He started, your first name falling from his lips that left you open mouthed, the sound caressing you in warmth. “They’re not in the picture.” He breathed out and as much as you wanted to find out more, you knew now was not the time.

“Oh.” You sighed awkwardly, as your eyes darted around his face which you could no longer read. “Okay, well that just means you’re stuck with me today. What would you like to do?” You asked, excitement taking over you. Birthdays were something you always cherished, the feeling of celebrating someone making you feel joyous and filling you with a sense of pride.

“What would I like to do?” He repeated as if the words sounded alien to him, but you just nodded and hummed, waiting for his confirmation.

“I don’t know.” He laughed awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck, the movement making his arm muscles jump and suddenly you felt hot and cold at the same time. The feelings you started harbouring for Rafe felt wrong but so right, making you dizzy and lost and yet yearning for more. Stop this – you cursed yourself internally.

“Okay, how about some coffee and cake to start the day while you have a think?” Placing the cake on the counter and showing a few dishes aside, you looked at him for confirmation, finding him gazing over at your figure, his stare burning a whole into you as he nodded and walked beside you, gathering the loose items and placing them in the sink over running water.

“Rafe, stop. It’s your birthday!” You protested, earning a side grin from him as he grabbed the sponge and got to work on the dishes ignoring your look of disapproval.

By the time he was done, two hot cups of coffee and two slices of cake were laid out on the breakfast bar, as Rafe walked into his room and pulled a shirt over him, much to your distaste.

It was suspected that Rafe Cameron didn’t grow up in an idyllic family and wasn’t surrounded by a bunch of loving people the way you have been. He never spoke about his family, you never heard him on the phone with anyone in particular and although he spent enough time staring at his screen, it seemed like he was either completing some sort of work or reading on it as opposed to texting.

The fact was however, that he didn’t know what he enjoyed doing on his birthday. He treated the day of celebration with awkwardness and an uncanny amount of hesitation, clearly unfamiliar with the fuss you made about him on his special day.

You encouraged him to think for himself, make decisions and lead the way and unbeknownst to you, the way you validated his emotions has been the greatest present Rafe has ever received in his life, full of gratitude towards you.

The day was spent with walks around parks, admiring the late autumn leaves and enjoying the fresh air, followed by bookstore hunts as you came to realise he used books as an escape the same way you did. Stops at coffee shops for hot chocolates and lattes while sitting in comfortable silence and people watching together.

It had filled you with a sense of relief, seeing Rafe so in his element with such peace and calm on his features and you would be lying if it didn’t make your heart skip a beat that you contributed to his visible contentment.

You were now stood next to him, a long dress hugging your body, his blazer draped over your shoulders on your way back from the restaurant you treated him to as part of his birthday celebration. He wanted to refuse, deflecting on how you had already done too much for him that day, but you took no notice of his words. The pair of you enjoyed a bottle of wine alongside fine pasta, giggling and warming up to each other, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t the happiest. Recalling the way his blue eyes danced in the candlelight, the way he asked questions about you and even told you stories about him, feeling like he was more than just someone that was being paid to spend time with you. It felt amazing.

The walk home was short, in hindsight a blessing as the air significantly cooled now that the autumn sun rays faded away. You were walking side-by-side, his hand occasionally bumping yours, sending a surge of electricity through your fingertips each time, yet you didn’t step further to avoid the contact.

“Tell me about your favourite birthday memory.” You blurted out, regretting your words instantly as his face twisted in pain and his eyes glazed over. “Sorry, that was stupid. You don’t have to.” You defended quickly with a flustered chuckle, cursing your mind.

“Probably the last birthday with my mum.” He nodded as your breath got stuck in your lungs, gazing at him in disbelief as he actually shared something so special and meaningful about himself to you. “She left us when I was 6. But she made sure to always make a huge deal out of my birthday.” He smiled at you, a sting of devastation playing behind his eyes as his words felt like they were twisting your heart, the squeeze in your chest causing physical pain.

“She was the last person to bake me a cake, before today.” He confirmed your suspicion as he sent you another meaningful stare before looking away and focusing his eyes on the steps he was taking.

“You deserve to have a huge deal made out of your birthday.” You whispered to him, the small smile that his lips curved into proving you that your words have found his ears as a slow hum left his lips, before the sound of cars and the click of your heals was the only thing that could be heard.

Your apartment building came into view, the knowing that tonight was ending filled you with a sense of dread. You knew tonight had been a big deal to the both of you, yet you were unsure what tomorrow would bring and it made you a little nauseous. You slowed down your steps, wanting to cherish the last few moments before you came to a complete halt just before you could get to the glass door that held too much uncertainty. Rafe picked up on the change in your demeanor, brows pulled into a line as he stopped beside you, a questioning look on his face.

“I know this may be overstepping, but I am grateful to have you in my life. And I know you said you don’t want to be my friend previously, but I hope you know that I am a friend to you if you ever need anything.” You admitted as his face softened, stepping closer to you until there was only a small distance between your bodies, his figure towering over you while his eyes never left yours.

“I don’t want to be your friend Y/N. I don’t want that word in your mind when you look at me.” He breathed, a finger under your chin as he tilted your face up towards him, his eyes full of conflicting emotion, want and need mixed with hesitation and sin. His eyes darted between your eyes and lips, the same way yours couldn’t find a place the settle on as he started closing in on you. You heard his erratic breathing mixing with yours, felt his heart beating against yours in the same rhythm, anticipation building with tension.

You felt his lip graze yours as you sucked in a surprised breath, and leaned in, his smooth skin against your begging to taste you as you felt his jaw clench and a shuddered breath left him, the air hitting you. Your head was spinning as your hand creeped up to his jaw, lips still not connected but he was so close and you needed him to be closer so badly.

“I..I can’t.” He mumbled, dropping his hands that were residing on your hips, the words he spoke vibrating on your lip as your eyes popped open, realizing that he will not kiss you. That you wanted him to kiss you and yet he won’t, your heart breaking for the first time.

“Right. Yeah.” You agreed, pulling away and looking up at him, his features tense, shoulders hard and strained and eyes dark and contained while yours were glossy, knowing you lost him before you even had him. Knowing that the man you had gotten to know after so much effort and time was yet again a stranger on his own accords.

The following morning acted as a confirmation of the evening’s almost events as you stared at him, ice blue orbs looking through you as if you were no longer the woman he held in his arms last night, the shadow of his lips grazing yours, replaying his words. You felt stupid for believing he wanted something, wanted you the way you yearned for him. And suddenly, the emotional distance you believed you had closed in on seemed to triple, him locking himself away so deep, you were sure you could never bring him back out.

And so, November was spent with you holding a hammer, breaking down his walls over and over again. Because you understood he was mislead his whole life. He was made to believe that people and happiness were temporary. Like he didn’t deserve permanent. But you were here, proving him wrong every step of the way until he gave up being the ice cold man, the shadow figure he taught himself to become.

He put up a fight, not trusting his instincts when it came to you. His head was scrambled with every look he gave you, every time you touched him reassuringly, every moment you shared with him was foreign. Yet you were there, showing him softness and kindness and he couldn’t help but give into you and accepting you, turning you into his lifeline, his breath of fresh air and allowing you into his heart once and for all as December approached.

Christmas came quickly and disappeared just as fast and before you knew it, the New Year was just round the corner.

The month of December was filled with hot chocolate, warm blankets, Christmas movies, fairy lights and soft innocent touches sprinkled with pining looks towards one another.

It felt like a turning point in your friendship with Rafe after the coldness in November his birthday followed. It was clear he would not break his professional promise to himself, but it was even more obvious that he felt as strongly towards you as you did for him. His place on the armchair switched to the seat beside you on the sofa, his knees grazing yours as you shared a fuzzy blanket most nights. Even after months of living together, he still hadn’t figured out the right amount of coffee to make in the mornings, always ending up with an extra cup’s worth, perfect for you to have, of course unintentionally. Lonely dinners turned to grocery shopping together, planning out your meals and taking turns behind the stove. Those mindless shows you used to watch alone were now something you followed together, on nights when you weren’t sharing about the new books you were reading beside one another. Falling asleep and waking up abruptly on the sofa together, feet dangled and your face on his chest, reveling in his scent to slipping away into your own bedrooms, hating the feel of the cold, empty beds. Catching glimpses of each other looking over lovingly, filled with admiration that made you both dizzy.

With your father being away and Rafe seemingly not having any family he would prefer to spend Christmas with – not that you didn’t encourage him to take a few days off – the two of you ended up cooking Christmas dinner together and shared a few thoughtful gifts, the holiday feeling special for the first time since you were a child. Because no matter how much it went unsaid, the two of you made each other feel loved and looked after, the way some higher power knew you equally needed it.

Your newfound domesticated routine only made your feelings grow for him, your heart aching each time his fingers grazed your arm or thigh, wanting nothing more than to touch him and have him give into you the way you knew he wanted to. While you were happy to have seen a softer side to him and got to know the person he was under the surface, you wished to learn all about who he was, completely and honestly.

But no matter how much you wished your circumstances were different, the fact was that he was your bodyguard, and you were only his client.

The thought sat in your belly bubbling while you hunched over a series of papers, trying your best to concentrate on the essays you needed to write, although the man sat across from you, engrossed in his book with a hot drink in his hand harboured most of your thoughts.

“Hey, so..” You began, drawing out your words until Rafe lifted his head, eyes meeting yours and no matter how many times he looked at you, you still felt your hands growing clammy under his sight.

“There’s this thing for New Years tomorrow night. I was hoping we could go?” Playing with your fingers, you bit down on your lips in anticipation of his words.

“Where?” He asked closing his book, attention now fully on you.

“It starts on campus, but I think we’ll end up going to a club or two after.” You shrugged in answer, slightly downplaying the scenario. In truth, you didn’t go out much. You enjoyed spending time at home and especially since your threatening messages, the number of times you went out and got drunk decreased exponentially. But you enjoyed celebrating important occasions, this being one of them.

“You can’t.” Rafe grumbled with brows drawn as he shook his head, his clear, cutthroat dismissal shocking you.

“But Rafe. It’s New Years! I’m sure even stalkers take the night off to celebrate it. I’m going.” You stated as a matter of fact, appalled at the suggestion he made. You watched as his nostrils flared and jaw tightened, his frustration showing clearly in his features. You were equally angry and not ready to back down as your body tensed and you pressed your lips into a tight, thin line.

“It’s a security hazard. Anyone could be there, it’s crowded and it’s not safe. So no, you’re not going.” Harsh words flew out his mouth as his hard gaze landed on you, arms crossed and flexed, as if to try and contain the unsettlement from bursting out of him.

“Well, you’re Mr Security. Figure it out!” You shouted, frustrated that the one thing you have been looking to attend was now tainted from his stubbornness. You looked away for a moment, hoping to gather yourself but his words drew you back into reality.

“I have just figured it out. Let me remind you of the arrangements Y/N. You are to follow my orders. I was hired to protect you, and put your best security interests first, not to be your best buddy taking you to parties and do whatever you feel like. That is not how this works.” His voice came out louder than he anticipated, words cutting through to you like shards of glass as tears threatened to spill from your lash line. You knew where he stood, but him saying it with such aggression hurt more than you could ever prepare yourself. His unwillingness to do something to make you happy, to try and compromise bothered you more than it should have, the realization of how much you wanted him to want to please you taking over you, suffocating your mind and body.

“Yes. You made that very clear Mr Cameron.” You nodded as your lips wobbled and a single tear fell on your cheek that you wiped away aggressively. Quickly, you gathered the loose bits of paper on your table and closed your laptop, not sparing a glance in Rafe’s direction while pocketing your phone as you took large strides towards your bedroom, that you slammed shut and locked, preventing him from entering.

“Y/N, please.” His voice sounded remorseful and full of regret, but your heart had already been shattered as you crawled under your duvet and buried your face in your pillow, allowing your tears to free flow in any which was they desired. You clenched at your chest as you heaved, feeling physical pain in your heart every moment you recalled his rough tone and jarring look, as if the last months you spent together were nothing special to him. You couldn’t stop thinking about all the small moments you shared, all the times you got so close to tasting his lips or feeling his heart under your palm, the mental images sending you into a frenzy as you laid there in your sorrows for hours.

You must have dozed off for a little while, your curtains remaining undrawn but the dark sky from the outside reminded you it was at least late afternoon.

A soft knock of knuckles against your door grasped your attention as you sucked a breath in, remaining quiet, not wanting him to know he had your full attention.

“Y/N, I made dinner, your favourite.” He breathed, voice unsure and careful, not wanting to say the wrong thing again as he was overthinking in his own mind, the last few hours driving him insane.

“I went out and got that chocolate cake you like too.” He continued and you felt your tummy rumble from the thought of food and your heart ache from the realization that he really did pay attention to you, but at the same time feeling sick from having to share a space with him.

“I just..” He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair and leaned his forehead against your door, cursing himself for messing up the one good thing he ever had. “I’m just really sorry. I wish I could take you.” He mumbled before pushing him away and leaving you in the darkness of your room, texting your friends to let them know that you will in fact be there tomorrow, ignoring the pang of guilt in your chest as you made your decision.

The following morning you woke up with puffy eyes and a rumbling stomach, glancing at your phone to see it was already past 11. You groaned as you forced yourself out of bed, creeping towards your door to see if you could hear any movement that would signal Rafe’s whereabouts, only being met with silence.

You slowly opened your door, as you peaked your head though and looked around, unable to see the broad shoulders that you became so accustomed to. A sigh fell from your lips as you walked towards the kitchen settling on some juice and a sandwich which you started putting together, when you heard someone croaking their throat behind you.

“Can we talk about it?” Rafe breathed out as you turned your face, finding him on the sofa, in the spot you normally occupied as he lowered his phone. His eyes were plagued by dark circles, the idea that he hadn’t slept because of your falling out comforting you while making you feel awful, knowing you have planned on crossing him later out of spite.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You shook your head, turning your attention back to your meal, which you brought back into your bedroom with you without as much as a further word, missing the way he dropped his head in his hands, allowing his guilt to consume him completely.

Your overnight bag was packed full of the black silk dress you bought a few months ago, the matching shoes, a purse and a few makeup items as you sat on your bed, waiting for the moment when the shower turned on, signaling the all clear for you to sneak out. Luckily, Mia only lived a couple blocks away, ready for your call to leave her house to pick you up without raising any suspicion. Having lived with Rafe, you were aware of his routine, counting on the fact that he would be in the shower soon and to your luck, the water turned on just as you expected it to.

You carried out your dirty dishes with you and placed them on the counter, signaling to him that you have been out, hoping this would deter any suspicions he might gain. You were counting on the fact that you hadn’t discussed anything that he would leave you alone for the night as you could sneak back in during the early hours of the morning, without him finding out. The plan was a little shaky, but you didn’t care enough to find a solid solution, as you stepped out the front door and pulled it in with the quietest of clicks, while praising yourself.

After a quick message and walking a few doors down, your friend Mia picked you up as the two of you giggled in excitement of what the evening has in store for you.

The night was in full swing as you found yourself in a club, surrounded by people from your college and other universities, all having fun and excited to welcome in the New Year. You were a few drinks deep, dancing and swaying your body with your friends, slurping on the alcohol, enjoying the buzz it gave you. You felt on top of the world, not having done anything this fun in months and for the first time in forever, you felt as though you were free from all troubles. No stalker, no bodyguard in your tracks, no failed relationship and no broken heart. Just you, your girls and the boozy drinks.

It was nearing midnight, your excitement shooting through the roof as you watched the clock, showing you there was only three more minutes to wait. The ceiling was covered in balloons and confetti, waiting to be released on all those surrounding the dance floor the moment the countdown was up.

“I’m going to get us some shots for when the time is up!” Shouted Bella, as you and Mia nodded and waved her off, continuing to dance. That was until a shoulder bumped into you hard, swinging your bag off your shoulder and sending you stumbling, almost falling over.

“Hey!” You shouted in annoyance as you turned around, finding a man vaguely familiar to you looking shocked and almost scared.

You were ready to defend yourself, until your eyes fell on a brown envelope that he was holding in his hand, reaching towards your bag.

“Shit.” He breathed, taking a couple of steps back as the realization sunk in that you were now face to face with the man who had been sending you creepy, explicit and threatening messages to you, as well as images of yourself for the past months, keeping you inside in fear on numerous nights.

“Who are you?” You shouted, voice trembling as you created more distance between the two of you, subconsciously looking around for Rafe who was of course, not around.

“I love you Y/N! I know you don’t know me yet, but I could treat you so good. Please give me a chance.” He begged, eyes wide and hands clasped as he sunk to his knees in front of you, grabbing onto your leg, making you scream as you tried to get out of his grasp, panic setting in.

“Omg, Y/N, that’s…” Your friend started as she immediately pulled her phone out, taking a picture of the man in case he was to vanish before she dialed the police and held your hand, pulling you more into her, ready to find a security guard.

“Don’t leave!” Shouted the man as he was back on his feet, reaching for you, making you more scared and unable to breathe. You were in histerics, tears falling from your eyes uncontrollably, waiting for his burning touch to reach you, until you looked to find him being tackled onto the ground.

“Don’t you dare touch her.” You heard Rafe’s voice, a sense of relief washing over you, although your hands were still shaking and you pulled yourself closer to your friend. You watched as Rafe pummeled the guy, his nose bloody as he stood no chance against your bodyguard. A few people have turned around, pointing at the scene unfolding, giving the two of them more space as some of them cheered and clapped, while others stood and watched in shock.

“3..2..1! Happy New Year!” You heard around you, as alarms started going off, the crowd shouting in happiness as all the balloons and confetti started falling from the sky, while you stood there, mascara stained cheeks, chest heaving, ears filled with a high pitch ring, the whole world seeming to play in slow motion.

“Get her outside.” Rafe shouted at Mia and the now arriving Bella who watched in confusion and shock, while Mia grabbed the two of you and dragged you outside, not wanting to go against Rafe’s instructions.

“Y/N, talk to me please.” Your friend was pleading, but you just stood there frozen, staring into space, unable to form the words as you watched police cars pulling up and a number of men raiding the club. Moments later the guy was in handcuffs as he was carried out and pushed into a van, all the while shouting pleas at you to love him back.

Rafe emerged from the club which had too many bystanders pointing at the cars, while others too drunk to understand what’s going on continued dancing. His shirt was crumbled and his chest visibly raised and sunk much faster than you had ever seen it.

“You okay? Did he touch you?” He hurried over while he examined you, looking for any signs of injury. As he reached you, he desperately held onto you, your face between his palms, making you relax into him and shutting your eyes momentarily.

“I’m okay.” You whispered as you looked at him, another tear falling down your cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb. He looked furious, teeth clenched, veins popping in his neck but terrified at the same time, and the fact that it was from the idea of you hurt made your heart tug in your chest.

“We’re going home. Come on.” He pulled you into his side, and after a quick chat with your friends that you blocked out, he walked towards his car where he opened the door for you, waiting patiently until you were in your seat.

The drive was filled with heavy breaths from both of you and the occasional sniffle from you, laced with an unspoken tension lingering in the air.

“I mean jesus Y/N, what did you think?” Rafe broke the silence as he turned to you momentarily, eyes wide and lips pressed together, quickly returning his gaze to the road as if looking at you too long might make him lose his mind.

“How did you know I was gone?” You whispered, turning your face to Rafe while ignoring his remark, feeling too overwhelmed to argue with him.

“I wanted to give you space Y/N. But I started getting suspicious after not hearing anything from you for hours. I have a spare key to your room.” He admitted, as you nodded, no further explanation needed.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, the words cutting something in him as he bit the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenching, but not saying anything further, the remainder of the drive fueled by silence.

It wasn’t long until you were in front of your apartment, Rafe unlocking it and flicking the light switch on, opening the door and waiting for you to walk in. The sight of colourful balloons and confetti painting the floor, two closed boxes of pizza on the side, a large projected clock that was now showing 12:52 and sparkly decoration hung up all over the living room greeted you, filling your eyes with unshed tears and your chest with an unimaginable amount of guilt, seeing the lengths he went to so you could still have a good time, while you lied to him.

“I didn’t want you to miss out. I’m not a complete monster.” Rafe stepped in behind you, closing the door and sending you a sad smile, a choked sob erupting from your throat as you buried your face in your hands, allowing your tears to freefall with such intensity it startled you both.

“Hey…” Rafe cooed, the sound of his calming voice triggering you further as he placed your bag on the sofa as walked to you, hooking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. You let your arms fall around his neck, as he placed one hand in your hair, slowly caressing you while the other stayed on your waist, his thumb drawing patterns into your skin.

“I was so scared Rafe. And I’m so sorry for sneaking out and going against your word. It was stupid and I’m just sorry.” You sobbed and you felt him shake his head at your words as he planted a kiss into your hair, the feeling of his lips heavenly.

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I should have let you go and came with you.” He apologized as he lifted you up suddenly, walking to the sofa where he sat down and pulled you into his lap, his hands never leaving your body.

“You’re okay. Nothing bad can happen to you now. He’s gone, alright?” He mumbled as you nodded, feeling him reach for something until your blanket was pulled over the both of you. You clung to him for dear life while straddling him, your face buried in the crook of his neck, and you had no plans on moving.

“Deep breaths baby, yeah? Breathe for me.” He soothed, playing with a strand of your hair as he deepened his own breaths, hoping you would start copying it and so you followed his lead.

“Good job sweetheart. Now close your eyes for me. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He continued and you nodded, scooting as close to him as you could until you were fully comfortable, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and before you knew it, you were asleep in Rafe Cameron’s arms, who couldn’t ignore the way his heart threatened to beat out of his chest with every second your body was flush against his. He needed to convince himself that you were there, safely in his arms and selfishly, he held onto you for a long while after you had dozed off, unable to let you go just yet. The scent of your shampoo filling him with sweet comfort and the soft breaths leaving your mouth reminded him that there was still good in the world, good that he so desperately wanted to deserve and make his own.

The morning light stirred you awake, the events of last night slowly hitting you as you found yourself in your bed, confused as to how you got here. You recalled the club, the shouting, Rafe’s protective arms around you and the way your eyes fell heavy while in his grip. He must have carried you to your room.

Climbing out of bed, you heard his voice talking, realizing as you opened the door that he was on the phone. He was wearing his usual attire, button-down shirt and trousers, one which you haven’t seen him in in a while as he got more comfortable in your presence, so did his uniform.

“I got to go now.” He spoke, eyes landing on you as he ended the phone call while you looked him over confused.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” He asked attentively, his words tugging at your heart strings.

“Better, thank you. Who was that?” You asked, feeling slightly out of your comfort zone.

“That was my agent. He confirmed your stalker was Dean Willis, he went to your class in college. He was arrested and is looking at a long few years in jail with your father’s influence and generous donation. You don’t need to worry about seeing him again.” He explained and a relieved sigh fell from your lips as realization to his familiarity settled in you, feeling stupid for all the signs you must have missed. In the meantime, you knew the influence your father tended to have and although it seemed unethical, you couldn’t be more grateful for his position in this current time.

“Thank you, Rafe. For last night. I really messed up and I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there.” Your lips trembled as you ran your hand through your hair, a soft smile on his lips as he nodded at your apology.

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” He spoke as he took a step towards you, uncovering the suitcase and large bag that was covered by his frame until this moment, confusion spreading through your features.

“Rafe, what’s going on?” You pointed to his belongings, frightened as his expression read a flicker of hurt and disappointment.

“My assignment was completed Y/N. The guy is no longer a threat to you and so my contract is expired. I’m being asked to leave.” He stepped in front of you, a soft palm placed against your cheek as his thumb brushed the smooth skin.

“Wait, so that’s it? You’re leaving me? You said you wouldn’t.” You whispered, voice painful and strained, the idea of not having him in your life sending a rush of grief through you.

“I have to.” He nodded, voice equally quiet and reserved as he swallowed hard and shook his head in disappointment.

“Are you going to take another client on?” You asked with a frown, jealousy boiling in your blood at the idea of someone getting him instead of you, because truly no one was deserving enough to have him in their lives.

“I’ll be taking a little career break.” Softly, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before giving you a sad smile followed by the purse of his lips and stepping away from you, the distance feeling cold and unnerving.

“Right. I guess you do deserve it.” You chuckled awkwardly, adoring the way his lips turned upwards from your words but nevertheless, your shoulders slumped and you had to look away for a moment as your sadness clearly painted your features.

“Rafe, I think I’ll miss you.” You admitted, tears clouding your vision slightly, already feeling more empty than ever and he hasn’t even stepped out of your apartment yet.

“I think I will miss you too Y/N. It was a pleasure to serve you.” He smiled as he tried to hide his obvious scowl while he turned around and grabbed his suitcase, pulling the keys to your apartment out of his pocket and placing it on the coffee table. He gave you one last glance before opening the door and stepping out of it, closing it right behind him, leaving you in the empty, cool flat. You stood there, waiting for your heart to stop aching, as a series of tears fell from your eyes, realizing that as much as you tried to get away from him when you first met him, a life without Rafe Cameron may just be a sad and lonely one.

Heartbreak was a funny emotion, especially when you were aching for someone who was never truly yours. You feel it all, the hurt, the longing, the need for their presence laced with anger and disappointment and yet you want nothing more than to turn back time and do it all again.

The next weeks you spent wallowing in your sadness, focusing on school work and inviting your friends as many nights as you could just to escape the lonely, dark pit that was your mind. So when your friends encouraged – forced – you to accompany them clubbing, you tried to convince yourself that it would help you forget about Rafe for one night, which was better than staying in for another, constantly thinking about where he may be and why he never contacted you since he left you.

You knew he had feelings for you, that much was clear. You also knew that he didn’t date his clients, hell he barely dated from what he told you. But you were no longer his client and had not been tied down by contracts and legislation. Still, he was nowhere to be seen, making you feel like a temporary part of his life and it ached.

Your first night out without Rafe lurking in the background has filled you with anxiety and anticipation, the bad kind. You felt on edge, as if someone was watching you from the shadows, waiting for any opportunity to harm you. Of course, your stalker has been arrested and life returned to its uneventful theme, but you couldn’t shake the thumping behind your ear that had been riddling you ever since leaving your apartment.

You were dancing with Mia and Bella, the girls having the best time as they twirled each other and you, with drinks in their hands. You were still only on your second, slowly sipping on it, waiting for the haze of the alcohol to calm your nerves, but it never came.

While trying your best to keep it together on the dance floor, you caught the eye of a guy, looking to be your age across the room as he looked over at your dancing form. The attention would normally make you feel desired but tonight the only man you wanted was one who was no longer in your life.

The thumping in your chest grew more as your hands became clammy and started shaking, the feeling foreign and making you slightly worry at the way your body was reacting to nothing in particular.

“I’m going to get some air.” You leaned in to your friends as you shouted, the words coming out uncertain which they seemed to pick up on too.

“You want us to go with you?” Mia answered as she stopped her movements, her eyes looking over at your visibly pale and shaken features.

“No, you guys stay. I will only be a moment.” You sent them a reassuring smile, as you started pushing your way through the large number of dancing bodies, feeling trapped and needing for escape more each second passed.

Pushing the club door open, you took a large breath in, the chilly winter air nipping at your skin with harshness, zapping at you with such intensity you felt it on your bones. But even the cool air could not stop your broken heart from racing as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to focus on levelling your breath.

“Hi gorgeous.” Spoke a voice behind you, as a set of hands creeped their way around your waist intrusively, the voice in your throat getting caught as you froze on the spot.

“I saw you looking at me across the room. You’re the prettiest girl in this bar.” The man leaned closer and whispered in your ear while squeezing on your skin and as if someone flipped a switch, you started shaking, a sense of fight taking over you.

“Don’t touch me!” You shouted while you frantically tried to get the stranger’s hands off you, tears streaming down your face as you threw yourself all around in order to get out of his grasp and create distance between him and safety.

“Jesus. You’re crazy.” Mumbled the guy while holding his hands up in defence and walking away, but the damage has long been done.

You crouched down behind the wall, bawling as your entire being shook from fear, feeling like you were unable to breath as if someone threw you in the deepest trench of the ocean. You ran your hands through your hair, tugging on the strands, seeking comfort and calm which never came.

“Y/N? Sweetie, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Blurry figures stood in front of you and you couldn’t help but shake your head at the question, words not forming.

“Y/N, I need you to tell us what’s wrong.” Your friend, Mia crouched down beside you and laid a hand on your knee, which made you flinch so hard she removed her palm in an instant.

“Call Rafe.” You mumbled incoherently; your sentence followed by a slow, agonizing silence.

“What was that? Tell us again babe?” Mia followed, her voice slow and appearing to be composed, but you knew she must be freaking out over your frightened figure.

“Call Rafe. Please. I need him.” You begged, the request taking all your energy. You stayed sat there, slow tears falling from your eyes as you didn’t appear to get any better.

“She wants us to call Rafe.” Sounded a confused tone followed by a dial tone and a few broken sentences, until you leaned your head on your knee, trembling and shivering just hoping the ache and hurt would end soon.

“What happened?” You heard a familiar voice, low but apprehensive.

“We don’t know. She came outside needing air alone, but we didn’t want to leave her by herself,f so we followed and found her like this.” Explained your friend and you heard a hum until a shuffle of shoes sounded close to you.

“Y/N, baby? I’m here. I need you to look at me.” Rafe asked as he laid something around your shoulders that smelled like him, the scent of him engulfing you and immediately soothing your senses slightly, although you stayed still. That was until a couple of fingers started grazing your forehead and temple, soft and delicate as if a harder push would break you apart.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me.” He sounded strained, the way you looked so broken and frightened breaking his heart all over again. All he wanted was to scoop you up and take you away in his arms where he could keep you safe from all harm.

“He.. He touched me.” You choked out, voice sounding like someone else’s, but he didn’t miss your sentence as his eyes darkened and jaw clenched, the worst images plaguing his mind and fuelling his blood.

“Who touched you? Did someone hurt you?” His voice grew serious, filled with anger as he was ready to end whoever dared to lay a finger on his most important girl.

“This guy. He put his arm around me, but I didn’t like it. It wasn’t you.” You lifted your head up finally, your mascara strained, blood shot eyes meeting his furious and worried ones as he seemed to soften under your gaze. His hands moved to your cheek, holding you gently in need of grounding and knowing that you are here, in one peace, safe.

“He didn’t hurt me, I promise. It’s just all too much.” You cried as you watched him fall apart under your sad eyes, making your heart beat that little faster.

“Let’s get you home, okay? I’m here. I’ve got you.” He whispered, while noticing your gaze falling onto his lips, the gesture leaving his throat dry and breath uneven. You nodded, feeling him lean a hand under your back and another under your legs as he lifted you up, holding you close to his chest. You laid your head in the crook of his neck as your eyes closed, exhaustion taking over your being, the feeling of being near him bringing you back to your mind.

“Do you two need a lift home?” He asked, question directed to your friends who were still looking at the pair of you confused making a mental note to ask questions when you were in the right headspace once again.

“No, it’s fine. We have an uber on the way. Just take care of her, okay?” You heard as you felt Rafe nodding before he started walking to what you could assume was his car.

“You’re doing so good love. We’ll be home soon, yeah?” A soft kiss was planted to you head allowing a satisfied sigh to leave your lips as you forced a nod from your head in answer to his words. A moment later you were laid on the passenger seat of his car, him buckling the seatbelt over you and before you knew it, he was driving with a hand spread over your thigh as he traced soft patterns on your skin and your eyes began to grow heavier by the second.

The car journey seemed only monetary while you dozed off, as you found yourself in Rafe’s arm again as he fumbled with his pocket, pulling his keys out that still seemed to have a cut of your apartment on it. Once the door was open, the kicked it in with his foot and made his way towards your bedroom, laying you on the soft material of your duvet and cushions, as you started to become aware of your surroundings.

“Here she is.” He mumbled, looking over at you with a small smile and adoring twinkle in his eyes, leaving you to blush under his gaze even in your flustered state.

“Do you want me to stay over tonight, or leave you alone?” He twirled a strand of hair out of your face, while leaving him thumb on the side of your face. His warm hands a sweet contrast to the freezing cold of the outside.

“Stay, please?” You asked shyly, as you watched him nod and stand up off your bed.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Rafe gazed over at you as he walked towards the bedroom door and put a hand on the doorhandle.

“Oh.” You breathed out, brows furrowed in disappointment, the sound of confusion stopping Rafe in his tracks as he turned around and waited for an explanation in silence.

“I just thought…you..” You began, words not forming the sentence you would hope for.

“Could you stay here tonight? Please?” The sound of your voice, so weak and needy filled his brain and how could he say no to you with those doe eyes and innocent sparkle you carried as he dropped his head and unbuttoned his jeans, smirking at the way your eyes started darting around your room.

He crawled in next to you, the feeling of uncertainty washing over you as you weren’t sure how to play this situation out. You settled on turning to face him, while his eyes stayed glued to the ceiling.

“I’m sorry.” You started, still trying to find your voice.

“For what, angel?” He turned his head towards you, as he shuffled closer, the proximity warming you with the want to be nearer to him, and touch his skin, feel him all over you.

“For calling you. I know we haven’t spoke since you left and you clearly didn’t want to and…” You spiralled, until you were caught off by his words.

“I’m glad you called.” He shook his head as his hand returned to his favourite place, on your face, grazing and studying your features, never wanting to forget a single freckle.

“Thank you for getting me.” You breathed out, voice no longer above a whisper as you looked over at his beautiful, heaven sent features, doing your best to get closer to him until his chest was touching yours, the sudden feeling making you gasp slightly and filling your veins with a heat so intense you thought you might burn alive.

“I will always come to get you. I will never let anything happen to you. I promise.” He whispered with meaning, while kissing your forehead, the feeling of his lips on your skin taking over your being. You looked up to see him staring at you, eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite make out, the intensity swirling behind his orbs making you feel like a mess, your brain foggy and creating a mind of its’ own.

“Because you care about past client satisfaction?” You breathed out, unable to shift your eyes from his lips which you saw curl into an amused smile, the creases making your heart thump against your chest.

“Because I’m in love with you.” Rafe confirmed, not leaving any room to overthink as he pressed his lips to yours, in the most head spinning, toe curling kiss you have ever experienced. As he pulled you closer to him, you melted against his body as a satisfied moan erupted from your throat until he broke away from you.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t come back for you after everything. I haven’t felt this way about anyone and it truly scared me. But I promise you, I will make it up to you and I’m not going anywhere.” He explained, his words washing you in love and adoration and you truly felt on top of the world.

“I love you too Rafe.” You agreed happily, for the first time feeling at ease as you connected your lips once again and you were sure you would never be able to stop kissing the man you fell for so unapologetically, over and over again until there was no turning back. Life felt complete again as you curled into his arms, feeling safe and you knew it was exactly where you were supposed to be in this moment, in every moment.

Thank you for reading. As a side note, although my request are closed, I am accepting blurb requests based on this AU, if you have any ideas/anything you would like me elaborating more on (e.g their Christmas or Rafe's birthday dinner). Love you all💗

Adding my taglist and those who I know have been waiting for this: @mvybanks @jjasen @fulla02reads @leclerc16s @maybankslover @kravitzwhore @delicaties @kikixdee @dreamingwithrafe @starkeylover @mrsmaybank13 @merc12-us @notslay-norcleor @m-indkiller @princessbl0ss0m @vivian-555 @k-n-e @dreaming-of-the-reality @inky-sun @camelliaflow3r @ifilwtmfc @illmindedyetfamiliar @bookishnerd1132 @lucky7rosie @abbybarnesstuff @fallingwallsh @bjrmaybank @bibliophilewednesday @pank0w @augustlikesdeath @jessmaybank @emmalandry @ashamedtobewhitemanswhore27 @maybanksbabe @madelynie @forevermoreharrington @runningfrom2am @softcoremaybank @h34rtsformilli @rafecameronzwhore @lovelydoveval @lail1010 @stvrligghtt @minispice-1 @ironmaiden1313 @bloody-mf-bsc @madelynie @allsmilesreally7

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jessmaybank · 9 months

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WHEN I TELL YOU IM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS