The Motion

Lately I aint been feeling right, I can’t really do the suit and tie even though I can tell that they fit me right, on my face clouded up on my brain and my mind left me with no sight, I’ve been living like this, actin like it aint my life, paranoid, can’t do drugs no more, shit got me feeling like Im in a void, no choice, I’ve been talking loud but no one hears my voice, so much that my words made you and me annoyed, little time, you just sit and laugh, I cant say how I feel without you looking at me like this is all a lie, but I just pray the lord heard me, and hope the stories are real, tho I know I won’t get to heaven with all of my sins, but how else can you act when you grew up like this, and we dont talk much and thats not you it’s just me, life got me bugged up for real, now it feels like Im lying and thats making up for all the times that I actually did, and writing ain’t as good as it seems, but I don’t do it so they hear me, I do it for me, like a mind correcta, heart collecta, thoughts desinfecta, you don’t get the honey if you ain’t got the nectar, I could be destined or a casualty, to life, to time, and die anonimous, and personified in someone else’s tragedy co starred by a hanging noose, and we all like to act sad dont we?And we got people calling out how we living phony, “u a lil corny”, damn if you dont like it then dont listen on me, life’s a movie and mines a parody, wearing nice clothes and rings acting like that’s a part of me, shit I look good tho, had someone tell me I’m weird, but she still would bone, and pretty girls make me weak, yeah corny dude, I transform in the sheets, it’s neither here nor there but I know thats what you like to hear, and to be honest I never fitted in texas, I make good money and I leave, its a seasonal thing just to get a little extra, I work hard for my breakfast, come back home and now I can’t fit with the wet backs, oh well this is life I guess, I’ll try harder the next time, I wont give this shit no stress, I rather do me than act like I’m you and feel like I deserve less.

So fuck what you feeling if you ain’t feeling me, and if I couldnt give 2 fucks before, now I made them 3, this ain’t poetic that way you can’t snap at me, but if you want to I can teach you, I’d do that shit for free.

What ties stop me from letting you go?

Sentient

Turn over the life we want, for the one we have

I wish I had no time to either think or relax

Thoughts can drag you down deep until you drown

Open a third eye but its dripping with blood or wax

Create it myself, destroying my cells, eyes sobbing, skin dripping soaking wet.

An explosion of a misunderstood feeling creeping seething my skin, teeth clenching, thoughts self killing, stomach wrenching, where one day the idea of you was self healing, its now hate driven, pain giving, self pitty written on the marine knots of my throat, the compulsion, propulsion of my actions, destruction for interactions, repulsion on my passion, combustion what my thoughts are, close or far, my sleep subpar, my bad ideas I have to spar, key your car, release my heart, insecurity masks my masculinity, its ludacris the vecinity of this feelings, they keep decieving me, for what I once thought was efficient, turned out insufficient, from sentiments to self sentient, a dumb kid with nothing but love to give, no money or hate, a would’ve could’ve should’ve been king, with understanding of thee, but that isnt what you need, maybe not even what you want, for you Im not even the “one”, the way you keep your attitude nonchalant, but your hate and cruelty can be quite alright or at least for me, thats why, always why I liked you, cus the difference between all the sham around us, all the fakeness that sorrounds us, you were always you, and I chose my demise when I got close to you, and yes I loved your eyes and for who you are, but I cant feel my heart or my soul, your coldness to my love, the darkness in the holes of your soul, or at least your inability to show remorse, since I gave you my all, while you are still caught up on someone whose love was skewed and spewed between clues, or a far away ruse, but maybe thats what love is for you.

Riddim

Thoughts late at night but right on time,

Never late to realize or fantasize,

On your mind but lost in mine

Dim blue lights in the sky at night

Caught your eyes watching mine

No reversing on my curses, I guess I won them all, no point in being nervous, its a burden, I can’t catch my fall.

No smart sentences, word on past tense, past 10, and still can’t promise that they make sense

Im tired of being loved with a catch, I fall fast, a cute smile, and a visual latch, aint no match, coffe spots, night walks, ride slow for deep car talks, cutie with a deep mind, good enough to decieve mine, jump in and never feel time, a strong attitude, demanding with a grain of gratitude, real as fuck with people thats sorround you

Made me thankful that I found you

Lucy shining in the sky with the diamonds on her eyes, strawberry fields diving down your thighs, One hand on the wheel, other one on your skin, I mean, oh man, we’re here, You feel, my grip, its soft but firm, you bite your lips, your eyes on me, I’ll just lean in, to steal a kiss

Darklight

The story my luck tells is the same as my heart suffers, both vendictive to one another, my heart neglecting the existance of my luck, and my luck always questioning itself if its bad, or lack there of, see a struggle between myself and my essence where, the cadence of my thoughts go to the beat of my heart pumps, one every second, 60 every minute, with every dry swallow making my confidence diminute, the A to my Q, with low IQ didnt even matter cus my heart will splatter after every chance it has to climb up my feelings ladder.

All of that was practice to get prepared to the main feast, the beauty of my beast, the emotions released, what is the thing that you feel the least? Or maybe you could start with the one you feel the most, a fragile line so you dont boast on all the if’s and but’s, since ive struggled enough to understand myself then maybe you could spare some help, what is it that makes you, “you” and why am i not you if you are in me, what is it that you have that leaves my thoughts ringin, different soul than yours, is my heart stinging? What is it that makes you so free and so scared of having the choice to stay, what makes you fly away, there is a nest, birds cant fly forever but you just come back, settle for now, use me as rest and go back wherever you go fast or slow, i wouldnt know, am I selfish for not letting anyone eat from my cherry pie? See me as a owner since you think im possesive how agrressive you are, to not see im enslaved to your heart, you are the one that posses me and you whip me with your free guilt, but when has a server ever spoke out against the one holding the chain, ill rise in vain cus youll leave with no second guess.

Man... fuck you

Leaving, living or dying, either way it doesnt make a difference to anyone

mira LO qUe pAsa Es qUe

I had a mental blackout, like it felt like passing out and not remembering nothing at all just snippets, while on autopilot and talking to people. Thats scary as fuck