jennygoeseastbay
Go West, Young Lady!
The chronicles of a life-changing, cross-country move.
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The Laws of Attraction
The law of attraction is that when you wish for something you get it. That is true for everything that we have, and less true for what what we don’t have or have and don’t want. The law of attraction works very well at a Starbucks. If we have money, we can wish for any hot beverage we can imagine and something like it will materialize.
With love, we follow our own attraction. When we notice we are attracted to somebody, then we love them a little. Our soul may not resonate with theirs, but our heartbeats are each between 60 and 120 beats per minute, our body temperatures are each around 98 degrees Fahrenheit, and we each occupy a proximal space at the same time. On top of that, we feel a sense of attraction to them.
We can approach those we are attracted to with awareness of our attraction and curiosity about who this other person is. If they feel a similar attraction and look into our eyes, our heartbeats will speed up, our bodies will raise their temperatures, emit pheromones, and produce oxytocin, the love neurotransmitter, like they did when our mothers held each of us as babies.
People naturally love each other, but there is a lot involved in developing trust and understanding with another person. Attraction compels us to interact and make the effort to get to know each other.
The more we get to know another person, the more of ourselves we expose. Sometimes there are parts of us we are afraid to expose. Sometimes people judge and don’t like what they see. Sometimes we judge and don’t like what we see. These things keep coming up as we explore layers of intimacy. Ultimately, we each have to face ourselves as we engage with other people.
There are few better ways of getting to know ourselves than looking from another’s point of view. It helps if that other point of view is generous, amorous, and compassionate. It helps if we are that way too as we learn to know ourselves and make the effort to know and love others.
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A Jack Shellington Christmas, Part 13
(Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12; Halloween pictures here)
How many more days until my next Christmas feast?
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2018 in Review
So I used to do one of these every year on my Livejournal, and I completely blew it off in 2017 because I kind of abandoned that medium, and because the last month of that year was complete consumed with packing and moving. I’m not entirely certain I want to get more active on here, but for now this is a good place for me to post this, simply to have the written record of my existence that I need in order to process all that has happened and reflect on how it has helped me to grow and improve as a person. If I’m feeling really ambitious, I might even backtrack and do one for 2017 next week, because I like to be complete in my self-documentation. ;)
01. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
Visited Washington DC for the first time.
Visited the Los Cabos region of Mexico for the first time.
Closed a major gift from someone who had not already had decades of cultivation from their University.
Visited even more areas of California that were new to me, including Anaheim, Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, Pismo Beach, Paso Robles, and Lake Tahoe (I guess that also includes Nevada since we stayed in Carson City)
Visited Ashland Oregon for the first time.
Sold a piece of real estate. Phew!
Practiced Yin Yoga. (And walking meditation!)
Engaged in a yoga hike!
Also tried yoga with goats!
Attended WonderCon
Attended a county fair.
Road a bicycle somewhere other than a residential street
Tried kayaking
Ran a trail run race
02. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never really make concrete resolutions, just some general proclamations about eating better, and putting more time into fitness and writing. Of these three things, the one I was most successful at this year, surprisingly enough, was eating better. In September I realized that it was time for a physical tune-up, and so I rejoined WW after a long time away, and though I still have a few pounds to go, I’ve been happy to have gotten a bit sleeker after dialing back the bread and cheese. I also attended a writing group called Shut Up and Write a couple times, and I’d like to become more of a regular at their cafe sessions in 2019, because I’ve found that their method (literally a concentrated hour of shutting up and writing) has been helpful the two times I’ve gone.
03. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My dear friends Drew and Kelly had their first child in September. And my friend Lynn had her second child, a little girl, just a couple weeks ago.
04. Did anyone close to you die?
Not super close, but a professor at UC Davis who I had worked with closely, passed very unexpectedly right before Halloween.
05. What countries did you visit?
Mexico! Finally broke in my current passport with a new stamp!
06. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
Good novel progress. Or more discipline on some other fiction and an essay that I just started tinkering with.
A legit boyfriend.
07. What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 2 was my first day on the job at UC Davis.
January 7 was a super fun evening at the Museum of Ice Cream in SF
January 13-15 was a wonderful weekend in Seattle where I got to meet my nephew Apollo for the first time and photograph his first swimming lesson for his parents.
January 20 was my second Women’s March outing in Sac with my friend Jade and her little ones.
January 27 was a day when I got to play tour guide for my friend Gricel and her husband when they were in SF visiting for the first time.
Feb. 10 and 11 was a fun weekend in Berkeley and SF, being silly and singing loudly with my former Cal colleagues who had become dear friends.
March 23-25 Was my whirlwind Anaheim weekend at Wondercon, and I got to catch up with my friend Mike, whom I’d not seen in a couple years.
March 30-April 1 was an epic road trip weekend, the first of what my friend Maya and I now call our Girls Gone Sensibly Wild excursions. We drove to Santa Barbara and visited the deserted UC campus there (it was closed for spring break) and also enjoyed an amazing live show featuring Dave Hause, Dan Andriano, and Cory Branan, among others at the Cold Spring Tavern. And then got a joint membership at Peachy Canyon Winery on our way back, because it was one of the few establishments open on Easter Sunday.
April 22 was Earth Day, and prompted me to venture out to Marin for an impromptu yoga hike at Rodeo Beach.
May 14 was my first appointment with a new hair stylist who would also unexpectedly become a trusted friend.
May 24 was my first time seeing Depeche Mode live, and it was incredible.
June 8-10 was my second of two hit it and quit it Chicago trips (although really, the first one wasn’t so much Chicago as it was Joliet) this year, and allowed me to reconnect with my dear friends Drew and Kelly (Drew finished his PhD at UChicago and I attended his commencement and hooding), have a day at the zoo with my friend Dawn, and also road trip to WI with my friend Mary for a beautiful and moving Lights Festival experience together.
June 30 was the day I attended my first ever CalShakes performance with Maya and our mutual friend Paola (Girls Gone Sensibly Wild continued!), and Maya also got me on a bike for the first time in ages, thanks to LimeBikes being available at the Pleasant Hill BART station. We took a short, wobbly, but fun ride down the Iron Horse Trail.
July 1 was the day I learned to kayak and surprisingly got myself through 5 miles of the Russian River without tipping over or running out of steam.
July 26 saw me reuniting with my dear pals Shannon and Glenn, when they were visiting the Sac area for a wedding.
July 27-29 was the weekend I drove up to Ashland to enjoy some time with my friend Debbie and to experience the Oregon Shakespeare Festival for the first time.
August 3-6 was when I somewhat unexpectedly had the delight of hosting my friend Clarise for a weekend visit. We drove down to Pacifica for the International Dog Surfing competition and I schooled her in the ways of California wine as much as I could with my limited knowledge.
The following weekend, August 9-13, I had a lovely time hosting and touring around with my 16 year old niece, and got to introduce her to the joy that is Santa Cruz. And yoga with goats!
August 30-Sept. 4 was when I hosted (this is a recurring theme in August, isn’t it?) my Aunt Sherrie for local sightseeing and a road trip up to Lake Tahoe.
Sept. 22-24 saw me heading down to L.A. for my cousin Katie’s wedding and some work meetings. It was the first time in ages that I got to connect with that specific branch of my family, and get to know them a bit better.
Sept. 29 was my first AFSP walk in Sac. And i was joined by Jade, her visiting mom, and her three little ones.
Sept. 30 was the really long hair session with Mason that helped solidify that we were legit friends (and included a shared sunset from the window of his hair studio!) and a quick follow up appointment on Oct. 3 allowed us to enjoy a rainbow and storm together.
Oct. 19-21 saw Maya and I doing another Girls Gone Sensibly Wild road trip. Back to Peachy Canyon to pick up some wine, and also Pismo Beach and Santa Maria for our first visit to a really lovely winery called Foxen.
Oct. 26 was quite possibly my all-time favorite Brian Fallon performance. It was just him alternating between his acoustic guitar and an electric piano, and he was joined by Craig Finn from The Hold Steady, who also did his own acoustic set.
Oct. 27 I got to introduce my new friend Torrey to the Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg, and we did a fun wine and Halloween candy pairing and some epic day drinking.
Nov. 3 saw me reuniting with my Cal crew and a sprinkling of East Bay friends at Fillmore Karaoke, for an epic night of loud singing as an early celebration of my 40th bday. So much wine. Actually too much, but for a birthday, that’s acceptable!
Nov. 4-6 I was in Indianapolis for work, and though the work part wasn’t particularly memorable, I was super honored and thrilled that my BFF Dawn drove all the way down from Joliet IL with her two boys to have dinner with me on my first night there.
Nov. 9 was an epic Local H show in Sac. Also a welcome break in the midst of a period of forced solitude, after the Camp Fire residual smoke prompted my whole office to work from home for about a week to protect us from the terrible air quality.
Nov. 18 was the day we had the beautiful service honoring the life of a beloved professor who passed.
Nov. 24-29 was my trip to Cabo with my Aunt Sherrie, and was also my official bday celebration.
Dec. 9-12 was my DC trip, which also allowed me to catch up with my friend Max, who lives in Baltimore, and my friend Stacey, who also happened to be there for her own work purposes.
Dec. 15 was my full day of yoga retreating at Green Gulch Ranch in Marin, and then I drove to the East Bay to catch up with Maya at Calicraft, which is one of our favorite craft distilleries in the area.
Dec. 16 was a white elephant celebration in Pleasant Hill that allowed me to unexpectedly meet a new, interesting friend.
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
So far, meeting all expectations at my new job and closing a major gift earlier than is required. Also not losing my shit during the condo selling process, even though there were a lot of reasons to do so.
09. What was your biggest failure?
I wrote VERY little fiction. But I did dip my toe back into writing in general, so I guess there’s that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I took a tumble at home that left my tailbone a bit tender about a month ago. But otherwise, no, pretty healthy, even after getting rear-ended in my car!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Various travel tickets, both air and rail. A beautiful new necklace that I found at the holiday market in D.C. All the concert tickets that provided soul-fueling live music.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine! I adjusted to a new job and an unfamiliar setting and managed to acquire a few new friends while also maintaining the East Bay friendships that meant the most to me.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Who else but certain immediate family members?
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Travel. Wine, and to a lesser extent, craft beer, now that I’ve picked up a taste for stouts and sours.
15. What song will always remind you of 2018?
Anything off of Sleepwalkers by Brian Fallon
Anything off of Be More Kind by Frank Turner
Chariot by Gavin DeGraw
Tall Green Grass by Cory Branan
16. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Thinner and sleeker, weight-wise
More willing to make room for others and open my life and space to them (friend and lover both)
Still as sleep-deprived as ever
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Novel writing, as always.
Flirting. And kissing.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Angsting over adulting-related things that were either beyond my control or that ended up working out just as they should.
19. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas?
I’m driving to Santa Cruz on Xmas Eve and treating myself to an overnight stay so that I can indulge in my happy place and a sunset hike. Also get to celebrate Boxing Day for the first time with my friend Jade and her brood back in Sac.
20. How will you be spending/did you spend New Year’s Eve?
Original plan was to hang at my friend Jade’s place with her kids, movies and snacks. But just learned the wee ones are ill, so now I’m not sure what I’m doing. That was how I spent last year (the original plan, that is), with the main difference being that last year I also went to a two-hour yin workshop beforehand, which was how I discovered my current yoga studio, and discovered how much I enjoy yin practice in general.
21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
No. But I made more effort to pursue it, and had more options than I think I’ve ever had in a single year. Which was kind of encouraging even if each one was relatively short-lived.
22. How many one-night stands?
I always laugh when I read this question. How about I just wink knowingly and say a lady never tells?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Supernatural. iZombie. To a lesser extent, Riverdale, even though I’m still pretty behind on that one. Sons of Anarchy (which I know is old but I’m playing catchup via Netflix and Hulu) And as a guilty pleasure, Total Divas. And of course, I'm still casually following WWE on the WWE network, though the only thing I’m finding compelling aside from the women’s matches are the Brits featured on the UK specific programming.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I don't think so.
25. What was the best book you read?
I finally got into the Harry Potter series and I’m really enjoying it. I just finished the Order of the Phoenix, and have the next installment requested from the library.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Not entirely new, but my appreciation for Cory Branan was reinforced and amplified after seeing him in Santa Barbara. And I’m also on a rediscovery tear with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Cold War Kids.
27. What did you want and get?
Reassurance that this move to Sac was the right next step, after I settled in to my new role relatively easily.
28. What did you want and not get?
Romantic love for an extended period.
More down time.
29. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
Bohemian Rhapsody, even though I know it had some historical inaccuracies.
A Quiet Place was hard because of the ending, but decent as well.
And the latest Halloween was hella satisfying, especially since I caught it after needing an escape after learning about the passing of the professor I mentioned earlier.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I prepped for my Cabo departure, went exploring at the Cosumnes River Trail, which is also a bird sanctuary, and caught the movie Widows with my work friend Christine. Then she took me to Panera for dinner. Couldnt’ do much more than that since I had a 5 am flight the following morning. I turned 40.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Love, as always.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Activewear as much as possible. But never enough.
33. What kept you sane?
My friends. The various trips I took and rock shows I attended. Junk food. Wandering in nature.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jensen Ackles. Tom Hiddleston. Charlie Hunnan. Idris Elba. My taste doesn't change much.
35. Who did you miss?
Dawn. Becca. Kelly and Drew. Stephanie and Scott. Rob. Elspeth. Mike K. Jason.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Lu
Ellen
Mason
Torrey
Anthony
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018
Never underestimate my own ability to adapt to new situations, and to handle my own shit like a boss. I had a few challenging things thrown at me, namely the condo selling process, and the logistical gymnastics that followed after having to bring my car in for a bumper repair following a recent rear-ending, and though I felt tested by both of those situations, I ultimately succeeded at navigating both of them to a positive end.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I’m always starting over....
I don’t wanna waste the nights in my life
But I never fit in, or felt home in my skin.
I’m waiting on a big love, baby.
--Brian Fallon, “Her Majesty’s Service”
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REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.
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A Change In Scope
Hello, after a huge period of dormancy!
Lots of change since my last real update. A big one being that I changed jobs and moved to Sacramento in December.
Technically I still have a lot of East Bay/Bay Area interaction, thanks to work trips and social outings. But I'm not sure if my new location necessitates a new Tumblr and theme?
There will continue to be lots of CA exploring, so I might keep things as is for now.
Stay tuned!!
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Pi Day 2018, Part 2
(Parts 1 and 3)
Beware the Pi-rate Tortoise on the prowl for pi! 🥧😋🐢
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you know why it’s so critically important to celebrate women over the age of 40?
because young women and girls need role models. need someone to aspire to become as they age.
as it is, society basically tells girls and young women: aspire to be 18-22. do not aspire or imagine past that, for you are useless without youth and beauty. do not aspire to be wise, or strong, beautiful without youth, or valuable with lines and wrinkles. and THAT is scary. we put a cap on aspirations for girls, because we want them to think the ideal comes and goes by 20–when really, we’re at our best for many, many years beyond.
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Holiday season brings out not just sparkly dresses, but also people the same size as me! I asked the nice-smelling man for a chin rub, but he ignored me. How rude!
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‘Conservatives generally regard class as an unacceptable topic when the subject is economics—trade, deregulation, shifting the tax burden, expressing worshipful awe for the microchip, etc. But define politics as culture, and class instantly becomes for them the very blood and bone of public discourse. Indeed, from George Wallace to George W. Bush, a class-based backlash against the perceived arrogance of liberalism has been one of their most powerful weapons. Workerist in its rhetoric but royalist in its economic effects, this backlash is in no way embarrassed by its contradictions. It understands itself as an uprising of the little people even when its leaders, in control of all three branches of government, cut taxes on stock dividends and turn the screws on the bankrupt. It mobilizes angry voters by the millions, despite the patent unwinnability of many of its crusades. And from the busing riots of the Seventies to the culture wars of our own time, the backlash has been ignored, downplayed, or misunderstood by liberals.’
That surely could have been about the 2016 president-elect, but it’s actually from a 2005 paperback edition of Thomas Frank’s “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” If you thought pairing white grievance and irrational fear that Christians are under assault with trickle-down economics was new, then go back and read Frank’s book, which posits that red America votes against its economic interests because Republicans have cleverly manipulated the culture wars, casting the white working class as victims of evil elites.
What’s the matter with Alabama? - The Washington Post (via wilwheaton)
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Blowing Past Two Years
So much for my vow to be more regular about posting entries, eh?
Honestly, I kind of forgot that this existed, and only thought of it today after attending a friend’s reading event in Oakland. It was the first one I’ve attended in a very long time, and it ignited a long dormant impulse to share my thoughts and experiences with interested readers.
Actually, the impulse has been under the surface this whole time, throbbing weakly enough to occasionally inspire brief scribbles in my private, pen-and-ink journal. And it gets acted on in a more superficial way through daily social media posts on Facebook and Instagram.
But I’ve been flying through so many trips and activities and social obligations -- something about CA has transformed me into a seize-the-day overachiever -- that it’s been hard to stop long enough to get very introspective. Or in those moments when I do let the world get quiet, I unwind with yoga or TV or retreats into nature, not that any of those things are bad or wasteful, they’re just a different way of recharging than writing out what I’ve been up to.
That being said, I do think it’s important to get more disciplined about regular writing practice and I feel like a return to using words for art and self-expression will help with my sense of despair over the state of the world.
I guess we’ll see if I’m up to that challenge! Stay tuned as I muddle my way through a plan of action.
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More than a third of the almost 200 people who have met with President-elect Donald Trump since his election last month, including those interviewing for administration jobs, gave large amounts of money to support his campaign and other Republicans this election cycle.
Together the 73 donors contributed $1.7 million to Trump and groups supporting him, according to a POLITICO analysis of Federal Election Commission records, and $57.3 million to the rest of the party, averaging more than $800,000 per donor.
Donors also represent 39 percent of the 119 people Trump reportedly considered for high-level government posts, and 38 percent of those he eventually picked, according to the analysis, which counted candidates named by the transition and in news reports.
Trump rewards big donors with jobs and access
This doesn’t make the Deplorables blink, but when Cheeto Hitler says Happy Hanukkah on Twitter, they lose their tiny little minds.
So I guess we know what’s important to his base.
(via wilwheaton)
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Almost A Year And A Half
I never meant to let this lapse so long. But clearly, the back half of 2016 has kept me quite busy! Mostly positive, in spite of the world as a whole taking a pretty dark turn, politically and culturally. Suffice it to say, various travel and One Tree Hill re-runs have been keeping me sane. I'm watching it straight through for the first time, and am about to start season five. I am not super inclined to fill in details on everything else at the moment, but I'll try to be better about regular updates moving forward. I need to get back to writing more for myself anyway - both this kind of mundane chronicling and more wordplay through fiction. Hopefully this entry will inspire more of both!
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One Year
Today marks my one-year anniversary of living in the East Bay.
The time has flown, but I’ve also crammed so much into the last 12 months that I’m surprised I haven’t been here longer.
When I departed Chicago with my three suitcases, a backpack, and my laptop in a carrier bag, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Fortunately, the job I came here for has worked out swimmingly, and I’ve met some nice people. Also had some really interesting travel adventures, including the Colorado trip that I returned from last night.
I don’t know what the next year holds, but I’m hopeful for even more fun and exploration, and grateful for all I’ve experienced so far.
Will try to reflect in a more meaningful way after I’ve recovered from yesterday’s very late return to the East Bay!
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