Eating Disorder Treatment

We all have a purpose on this earth; but how do we know what that purpose is? I struggled with finding my purpose and whether I had the capability to achieve that my purpose. After learning more about myself and what traits I possess, I was able to figure out my ‘why’ and purpose. That purpose is helping people who are struggling with an eating disorder. Since I struggled with an eating disorder myself, I am extremely passionate to help other people who are struggling. More adolescents under the age of 18 are being diagnosed with an eating disorder and many places don’t know/ have the resources to treat people that young. With my own experience, many places wouldn’t take me into their treatment center because I was considered too young. With treatment centers being so uncompassionate, I ended up struggling for way longer than I should’ve struggled for. If we don’t solve this issue, more and more adolescents won’t get the help they need, possibly making it harder for them to recover or even end up in the hospital with the possibility of passing away.

Over this past semester, a lot of my Tumbler posts had a common theme of mental health; specifically eating disorders. The posts that relate to this theme include; Enough and Skinny Love. The poem I wrote; ‘Enough,’ is about my own personal journey with my eating disorder and how dangerous and addictive having one is. NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) stated that adolescents who struggle with anorexia have 10 times greater risk of dying compared to their same-aged peers. Another source from EDC (Eating Disorder Coalition) says that at least every 62 minutes, someone dies from a direct result from suffering from an eating disorder. Recently, I had a close treatment friend that passed away at the age of 23. This death was extremely hard on me and also showed me how dangerous it really is to have an eating disorder. In my poem ‘Enough’, I wrote how the eating disorder won’t make you feel enough till you’re dead. It’s so hard to see that you are enough and worthy when someone is so deep into their eating disorder. I wanna be the person to bring them out of the darkness and show them that they are worth so much more than their eating disorder.  

In my post ‘Skinny Love’, it is about how the eating disorder changed my life both in positive and negative ways. On the website, CPD Online College it goes over all the ways an eating disorder impacts your life and why someone who is struggling continues to do those unhealthy behaviors even though they know that it's not healthy for them and it’s hurting their family and friends. Having an eating disorder wasn't all bad, in some ways I'm glad I had one. It taught me to better process my emotions and it gave me a better understanding of mental health and how to help other people who may be struggling. I want to be there with my patients and their family as they get through the recovery process.

What can I do to solve this growing problem? I thought about this long and hard and one way I want to help is by opening my own eating disorder treatment center. I believe that every adolescent should have the resources to get the help and treatment they need.  I do believe that recovering from my eating disorder showed me by purpose in life and that is helping others who are struggling.

The Eating Disorders Coalition for Research, Policy & Action thanks Scott J. Crow, MD, and Sonja Swanson, PhD, for their diligence and dedication in researching and compiling these latest statistics on the mortality rate. September 25, 2014.

Statistics & Research on Eating Disorders. National Eating Disorders Association. (2021, July 14). Retrieved November 29, 2022, from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/statistics-research-eating-disorders  

Huziej, M. (2022, July 28). How do eating disorders affect lives? CPD Online College. Retrieved November 29, 2022, from https://cpdonline.co.uk/knowledge-base/mental-health/how-do-eating-disorders-affect-lives /

Enough

I wanted validation so badly

I wanted attention

I think subconsciously I got worse because of that

People forget how competitive people with eating disorders are

I will do whatever it takes to get the ‘perfect’ body

To get that validation

Attention

Even if it kills me

This illness thrives on comparison

I compare while I’m on my deathbed

‘Sick Enough’ isn’t a thing

I can go further

Lose my weight

Exercise more

Push away my friends and family

I cry over a plate of food

My parents are scared for my life

I don’t care

I’m still not enough

My eating disorder made me feel enough

She was my ‘friend’

I saw no imperfections in her

I was brainwashed into thinking that i still wasn’t enough

Gaslite into thinking that the unhealthy behaviors were gonna make me ‘pretty’

Enough

All I wanted was to be enough

As I glazed in the mirror

For what felt like the millionth time that day

I couldn’t see the true Jenna

Where did she go?

I thought she was the perfect friend

But as I examine myself

Mentally

Physically

I realized that that this ‘perfect friend’

Is now someone who is taking over my body

Taking over my mind

Taking over Jenna

She lied right to my face  

The eating disorder will only make you feel enough once you’re dead

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=17e9030356&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-a:r5290279343784183406&th=1849fbdf426cf1b7&view=fimg&fur=ip&sz=s0-l75-ft&attbid=ANGjdJ9wQDuBDcjC4QoTAzBC7TublZayKaFZcUkBCYhYdKyM4TP793rtHtwBSSKUeuepBBFUb9NBY1WW9mokK2LzLSA09pdlvNTQjU5T_Df5qL_7gaaioWpj6Dupj_U&disp=emb&realattid=1849fbd2ae9ebc624661 

I chose this photo from our textbook because of how much I can relate with it. This photo from Kevin Carter makes me so sad.

The vulture represents my eating disorder; watching me, waiting for me to die. The eating disorder wins once I’m dead. The vulture gets to eat once the kid dies from malnutrition. The little kid is trying so hard to hold on but slowly his faith is disintegrating along with him. There’s only so long you can hold on too until you vanish. The kid in the photo probably just wants some food and shelter, which are part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. All I wanted was self-worth and to feel enough which is also part of the hierarchy of needs.  

The Peaceful Ocean

Out of all the short videos, the one that got my attention was Ascension Bill Viola. In this 2000 piece of art, a man jumps into some water. When he first jumps in, the movement is fast and then the video changes to slow motion while he’s body is coming back to the surface. It is dark all around except from a horizontal beam light coming from the surface. The man’s body seems peaceful but also lifeless, while he just lets himself come back up for oxygen. In the video, the sounds are subtle but you can hear the bubbles that the man made by jumping in. With all those details of the video, I believe that the video is trying to communicate the peacefulness of the ocean. Some might use it as a healthy coping skill or unhealthy. One might use the ocean to get closer with nature or destress. Some might use it to drown themselves, slow time down and get away from their problems. This video doesn’t remind me of another painting or piece of art but it does remind me of an artist who paints underwater; Olga Nikitina. Olga is a Russian painter who loves being in the ocean and taking in the peacefulness of the ocean while she paints.I think it would be so much fun painting underwater. I love enjoying nature and I’m sure that being underwater is extremely peaceful.

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.squarespace-cdn.com%2Fcontent%2Fv1%2F5a02e24901002767b723f9e8%2F1616573769353-G0ZZUU8RNMAXK8WBMY4I%2FContemporary%2BArt%2BMagazine%2BAl-Tiba9%2BOlga%2BNikitina%2BPainting&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.altiba9.com%2Fartist-interviews%2Folga-nikitina-scuba-diving-ocean-painting-underwater&tbnid=5T8vLVxCnYgK2M&vet=12ahUKEwjR27Hz6bD7AhVHLVMKHQ43D30QMygQegUIARD4AQ..i&docid=gCNezSx-LODfcM&w=1935&h=1444&q=Olga%20Nikitina&client=safari&ved=2ahUKEwjR27Hz6bD7AhVHLVMKHQ43D30QMygQegUIARD4AQ

To Be or Not To Be

I have analyzed Hamlet multiple times during my educational journey and each time I learn something new about this tragedy. One scene I always go back to is when Hamlet states, “To be or not to be.” This question Hamlet asks himself makes me really think about my own life and what choices I should or shouldn’t make. For Hamlet, he is deciding whether to live or not to live. He wonders if suicide would end his suffering and leave all his pain behind. Hamlet is debating between himself whether to end his life or not. He states that it would be a peaceful sleep but then considers that people don’t know what really happens after death. I can relate to how indecisive Hamlet is. I’ve always had trouble with deciding things; with the fear of making the wrong decision. It’s hard to make a choice when both are acceptable and would make you happy. Every day, we all ask ourselves “to be or not to be”, we decide to study for that test that is coming up or we tell ourselves that we will just study more tomorrow. We all through life with this fear of death. We don’t know what is afterlife, so we keep living through our struggles, issues, and misery; while still fearing death. In the scene, you can see the hesitation and confusion that Hamlet is going through. Hamlet is making the biggest choice of his life; To be or not to be. It makes sense that he is contemplating everything. No matter what, we never know what the best option and choice is in life; we just gotta go with our gut and follow our heart when making tough decisions.

“The Good Nurse” and “He’s Just Not Into You”

I wasn’t able to find any of the movies that we’re under the list so I decided to watch “The Good Nurse” as my drama and “He’s Just Not That Into You” as my comedy. In He’s Just Not That Into You has many different scenes from going back and forth in time, doing interviews in-between scenes. In the film there are many random characters that talk about their experience with dating and getting dumped. There are a couple main characters; Beth, Neil, Conor, Anna, Mary, Janine, Ben, Gigi and Alex. Within those characters they all are going through their own problems with dating and marriage. There are many scenes where the camera circles around the characters in romantic scenes.  

The Good Nurse came out in 2022 and is on the top 10 movie list on Netflix. In The Good Nurse, it starts off super fast paced, with a patient that coded and sadly passed away. The movie consists of two main characters that are nurses; Amy and Charles. Amy has a heart condition called cardiomyopathy and needs to have heart transplant urgently but doesn’t have health insurance. As the movie goes on, there are multiple sudden deaths and it was found  that the patients that died due to overdose from insulin and digoxin in their IV bags. One scene that stood out to me was when Amy tries to confront Charles about killing all those patients in the hospital. In the scene, there was a lot of tension and you could see the fear on Amy’s face. Amy was working with the cops to get Charles to verbally admit of murdering the patients. When Amy tells him to admit he’s wrongdoings, Charles gets aggressive and the shot zooms into both of their faces. At that point, Charles knows that he’s been caught.

Both of these movies were really good but are completely different. The Good Nurse was more of a serious and stressful movie, while He’s Just Not That Into You is a romantic comedy with a lot of chaos going on.

London Collection

The theme I decided to do is architecture in London. I’m currently in London and have been fascinated by the historical architecture surrounding London. One thing that stood out to me about visiting the United Kingdom is how well they preserve the past. I think it's so important to see the quality of construction and the cultural significance of the past. Looking at these historic landmarks shows a lot of historic value and how people used to live back in the day. In my collection of photographs, I took pictures of Somerset House, the London Eye, Horseguards, Westminster Abbey, and Big Ben. In 1776 (246 Years ago), Somerset House was built. In the 17th century, Somerset House was used as a residence for royal consorts. In the 18th century, the Somerset house was used for many reasons; Was used for stamps, taxes, inland revenue, laboratory, registry of marriage, births, and deaths, and other public offices. Today the Somerset house is used as a center for creativity. The London Eye has been around since 1999 and is Europe’s largest Millennium Wheel. It was designed by a husband and wife team and cost 70 million dollars to build. The London Eye photo that I took is one of my favorites because I love how you can see all the fall colors. The Horse Guards' historic building was built in the mid-18th century. Every morning, they have the changing of the King's Life Guard. Westminster Abbey was founded in 960; 1,062 years ago. Westminster Abbey is the United Kingdom’s most notable religious building. The building has been through so many rough times such as; the 1914 suffragette bombing, the second world war, post-war, and more but continues to give people hope and a sense of happiness. The last building in my collection is Big Ben which is the nickname for the Great Bell. The building has been around since 1859; 163 years ago. The design of Big Ben has a Gothic Revival style and is 316ft making it the United Kingdom’s 3rd largest clock tower. Being in London has been an eye-opening experience. Seeing so many different beautiful architectures that you can’t find in Florida has been such a great learning experience. I hope to come back to London and experience more of what London has to offer.

The London Eye  ^^

Big Ben ^^

Horse Guards ^^

Somerset House ^^

Westminster Abbey ^^

Ocean Playlist

I don’t think I could go 24 hours without listening to music. I absolutely love music and listening to a variety of different genres and artists. I love music because every song has a different beat, tempo, rhythm and meaning and I love figuring out what the true meaning of the song is. One thing that I love as much as music is the beach. The 6 songs I choose for this playlist all have a conceptual idea of the ocean. In my playlist, we have Blue October “Into The Ocean” (Alternative Rock), Billie Eilish “Ocean Eyes” (Indie Pop), Duke Dumont “Ocean Drive” (Electronic), Ella Fitzgerald “How Deep Is the Ocean (How High is The Sky)” (Jazz), The Sweeplings “Across the Sea” (Alternative Indie), Styx “Come Sail Away” (Rock). “Into The Ocean” was released in 2006. The song contains an upbeat rhythm and a light melody but the lyrics in the song are depressive and sound suicidal. Listening to the song it starts off slow and starts to get faster. My first time listening, I would tell that it was more of a sad song especially when he says, “I wanna swim away but don’t know how” then later says, “Let the hurricane set in motion.” “Ocean Eyes”, hit America’s top 100 billboard in 2016. The song has a vivace tempo of 140bpm which creates the song lively and fast. The song is very minimalistic and Billie’s tone stays very neutral. Her song is also a sad emotional song; I believe her song has a deeper meaning of being in a toxic relationship but doesn't wanna leave the relationship because she’s scared. Ocean Drive has a very upbeat and fast tempo (presto). This song is a perfect example of rando because it returns to its initial theme and presentation of each new theme. The song is about fiery romance that turns into a relationship that they both know they shouldn’t be in. At the beginning, they both felt a strong connection but now they see it as a drug that is tearing and destroying both of them. “How Deep Is The Ocean” is the oldest released song which was released in 1958. This song is extremely slow (lento) with very little beats and slow and quiet musical instruments. I personally wouldn’t listen to this song on a regular basis but I really enjoyed the violin and other instruments in the song. “Across the Sea '' is a beautiful song and Cami Bradly’s voice is very calming. The song is slow and has a lento tempo. The last song, “Come Sail Away”, is a very popular rock song that was released in 1977. The song contains a collective plaintive opening section (Piano and vocals) The singer has a slow tempo. The second part of the song is faster and contains a bombastic guitar and heavier beats. This song never repeats itself which makes it more unique.  

Song Links on Youtube:

Blue October - Into The Ocean

Billie Eilish - Ocean Eyes (Official Music Video)

Duke Dumont - Ocean Drive (Official Music Video)

Billie Holiday - How Deep Is The Ocean? (How High Is The Sky) Clef Records 1954

Across The Sea

Styx - Come Sail Away (Official Video)

Looking Back One Last Time

Growing up in the small town of Harmony, Minnesota, Anna was part of the Amish community. With the population being less than 200 people, Anna knew almost everyone. Anna enjoyed knowing everyone, but she always had to make sure that she was on her best behavior or else someone in the town would tell her parents about her bad behavior. Growing up in an Amish community, there are many rules that everyone must follow; Girls must keep their hair long, they can’t use any technology, Women can’t wear makeup, and everyone must live their life through what the Bible says. Growing up, Anna was taught from right and wrong and that if she broke any rules, she would go straight to hell. Anna has always been a rebellious and adventurous child. She enjoyed going out of town to watch people living the modern life. Anna would steal toys from the nearby modern towns and bring them back to her community. Those toys aren’t allowed in her community, and Anna would get in big trouble; She would get spanked, would have to burn her toys, and would have to do extra work. Anna wanted to live a normal modernized life. At the age of 16, the Amish community has this thing called Rumspringa; where adolescents get to choose whether to be baptized in the Amish church or leave the community for the rest of their lives. Anna was only 12 years old but wanted to live a normal life without being shunned by her community. One day she decided to sneak out of her community and never return. She created the perfect plan. One day when her parents weren’t home, she went into their study and took all their money. Next, she ran into the kitchen, and took the scissors and cut her hair to her shoulders. She left the hair on the kitchen floor along with a letter that said, “I’m off to create a better life for myself.” While Anna was doing all these things, all she could think about was that she wasn’t gonna be able to survive out there and that she was going straight to hell. Right before she left, she went and hugged her younger siblings for the last time. Walking out the door with one tear coming down her face, she looked back at her home for one last time and kept walking.

Bringing Back Faith

“Dover Beach” was written by Mattew Arnold in 1867. In the poem, Arnold expresses imagery and the feeling of losing faith. When Arnold was writing this poem, the theory of evolution came out. Many people had and still have mixed views and feelings about evolution. Back then, people started to reevaluate their religious beliefs and might have lost some faith due to Charles Darwin’s book, “On The Origin Of Species”.

In the poem, Arnold does an excellent job of expressing how he perspectives the world and facilitates his audience to relate to his perspectives of the limitless lonely and unhappy cycle the world is now going through. In my interpretation, the poem is about the speaker losing faith within the globe. The author makes use of several distinct literary gadgets, however, I feel that his use of personification affected the story in a manner that beautifies his message. I assume that the sea indicates many things, which I notice changes from stanza to stanza. The ocean is given many feelings to be, which includes unhappiness and happiness, which varies from each stanza.

Arnold introduces us to different symbols and themes in the poem that helps us understand the poem better. Some symbols include the sea, which represents change. Throughout the poem, the speaker tells us that the sea rises and falls. Arnold writes, “The sea is calm to-night. The tide is full, the moon lies fair.” (Lines 1-2) This suggests that at the beginning of the poem, everything is stable and moving along. Later in the poem, Arnold writes, “The Sea of Faith Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore.” We can see that there has been a significant change to the Sea. Now that the sea has changed, it left people confused. I personally like to have a consistent schedule and routine. When something drastically changes to my schedule, I tend to freak out. I’m sure when the speaker started to notice a change in people’s behavior, religious beliefs, and actions, he felt flustered and concerned for the future’s society.  

We all lose faith and uncertainty at times. I always lose faith in humanity and sometimes question the existence of life. Arnold writes, “The light gleams and is gone.” (lines 3-4). Arnold was an extremely faithful and religious man. He probably grew up in a religious family and believed that God was the only explanation of life. I’m positive that when Darwin’s book came out, Arnold felt distorted and lost trust in his beliefs. Darwin had all these facts and conclusions about the existence of life and Arnold only was told that God created the universe. This relates to my life when I feel disappointment, uncertainty, or failure. Even though the sadness that the poem talks about is on a scale much more intense than my experience, I'm able to relate to some of the emotions that he talks about. When I’m experiencing both sadness, uncertainty, or failure, I think that I’m alone, and the whole world has left me to figure things out on my own. While Matthew Arnold wrote this piece, it was during the time of the British Empire conquering other colonies, and he also felt disoriented and that things were progressing at a much quicker pace than he hoped for. The sensation of uncertainty had made him feel sad, similar to me.

Whenever there is another side of anything, people will start to argue which one is correct and better. Arnold writes, “The eternal note of sadness in.” (line 14) Arnold is referring to how people are starting to disagree or agree about whether evolution actually happened. At that time people were starting to lose faith in religion, which caused people to fear the unknown.

In the fourth stanza, the speaker suggests that only secure love between individuals can resist the negative things in the world. Arnold writes, “Let us be true, To one another.” (Lines 29-30). The world isn’t perfect and will never be perfect but the speaker wants us to bring each other's differences and try to make the world a little better. I believe that we need to be open and true to one another because we can learn from each other. When we open up to each other, we can gain an outlook and find solutions to problems that people couldn’t figure out on their own. We need to learn how to respect and listen to other people and their beliefs and ideas.  

The Poem, “Dover Beach” teaches us a lot of great lessons that we can incorporate into our daily lives. One of the biggest lessons in the poem is, through love we can refind lost faith. We all have different opinions and views on life but that shouldn’t determine whether you’re nice to a certain person or friends with them. One thing I try to work on each year is being more open about meeting new people and listening to their views on life. Over the years, I learned that your political beliefs, religion, sexual origination and more shouldn’t determine whether you work with them or if you are friends with them. Not only does being open-minded make you a more vibrant person, but it also can help societies by creating new ideas.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43588/dover-beach 

The Cottages and Bryant Denny Stadium

Being a student and not being at my parent's house, it took me a little bit to find pieces of architecture where I felt comfortable and “at home”. After thinking about where I spend most of my time and also places I go to that makes me happy it was easy to decide what to write about. The first place that I chose is my student housing; The Cottages. The Cottages are really unique compared to other student houses in Tuscaloosa. One thing that makes them unique is that you get your own cottage that you share with your roommates. In my floor plan, I share the cottage with 2 other roommates. The cottage includes a large open-spaced living room, and kitchen that includes lots of Conor space and cabinets, and each person has their own bedroom, bathroom, and walk-in closet. I’m not really close with my roommates, so personally, I don’t spend much time in the living room or kitchen unless I have friends over. I’m the only person upstairs so it’s really quiet. When you walk up the stairs, the laundry room is right there. When you walk into my room, the first thing people usually notice is the color palette and theme of my room. My room's aesthetic is a modern minimalist bohemian-style room. I chose that style and theme because I wanted my first college room to be unique without having too much going on. If you look at my bedding and overall decor, you will see neutral tones such as beige, light brown, and white.​​ The color that makes my room pop is the sage green. Sage green is an earth tone that creates a calming effect. As far as decor and extras, I made sure to have an oil diffuser and plants, and I also added some peel-and-stick wallpaper in my closet. My favorite scents I use are vanilla, rosemary, lavender, and thyme. Those scents make my room smell fresh but also make it more welcoming and cozy. In one corner of my room, I added a full-length mirror along with a couple of plants. I have always loved having plants in my room because it makes the room brighter which boosts my mood and energy. I also wallpapered a sage green leaf print to the back wall of my closet to make the closet seem bigger and brighter. I love my room so much and it makes me happy every time I walk in.

Another place where I spend a lot of my time (especially right now) is Bryant-Denny Stadium. This is a lot different from the Cottages but every time I go for a gameday, it makes me feel happy and excited. Bryant-Denny Stadium is where the Alabama football team plays. Over 100,000 people can fit in this stadium - which makes it the 8th largest stadium in the United States. The Interior is absolutely insane; with the extremely tall walls, millions of seats, and new state-of-the-art LED lights that change colors. Bryant-Denny Stadium is extremely different from the cottages since no one lives there, but one thing they both have in common is that whichever place you go to, you will be welcomed. One thing that makes me love game days is that everyone comes together to cheer on the same team.

The One and Only Goldie

Goldie at the University of Alabama

I’m a part-time student at the University of Alabama, and while I was walking around campus, I came across Woods Quad Sculpture Garden. Alabama has a large and growing collection of outdoor, public sculptures to enjoy. Looking at all the amazing and beautiful sculptures, it was hard to pick but one stood out to me; Goldie 1971. Goldie 1971 was sculpted by Joe McCreary in 2009. The rusted robot was meant to symbolize the collapse of Alabama’s steel industry, mainly the shutdown of the Sloss Furnaces in Birmingham in 1972. The 23-foot-long robot that is lying in mulch surrounded by moss is made of iron cast scraps from Furnaces. The Sloss Furnaces company had a huge impact on the world; they supported the military during World Wars 1 and 2. Due to technology enhancements, social changes, and a shifting market, there were troubles keeping the business open, and they had to close the oldest blast furnace in 1970. I think the subject of this sculpture is, that just because Sloss Furnaces Company closed, doesn't mean that history dies. I think the sculpture is lying there to show that the iron company isn't there anymore but how they had an impact on the future. I believe that Joe McCreary chose to sculpt a robot due to their sense of intelligence and advancement in technology. When the steel company first opened, everyone was probably amazed, and life became easier in some ways. Over time that technology gets old, and probably someone invented and created a better business. Out with the old and in with the new. Once, that robot used to be the newest hottest thing but now over time, there are better and newer robots. The University of Alabama is known for its student engagement with everything on campus. Goldie is part of that student engagement by giving students a chance to open their imaginations and give students a way to learn about Alabama’s history. I’m so grateful that The University of Alabama offers a variety of public art. Ever since I was little, I’ve enjoyed examining different public art. I love getting outside, learning about different sculptures, and opening up my imagination.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/c15a3dfbf72d9d6d3aa2ed236e4724bf/3e0b19e66326fa4a-1e/s640x960/46727ed3ae0ab30ea69708a73fff7e29773ae5ca.pnj 

Dutch Interior (Joan Miro)

https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/486758

The painting Dutch Interior, painted by Joan Miro in 1928 expresses a lot about me and is simply beautiful. Miro created this painting along with three other similar paintings that were inspired by postcards. When I first saw this painting, I was intrigued by how minimalistic and how the figures in the painting look natural but distorted at the same time. The painting includes the primary colors; red, yellow and blue. The line work and a couple figures in the painting are black. Just like the overall painting and the figures, the colors are also simple using primary colors. Even though the figures in the painting look like they could be real objects, we aren’t 100% certain; this is because of abstraction. The painting doesn’t represent any “real” world objects but instead he used different shapes and colors. Another thing I noticed is how the painting doesn’t have any symmetry and how none of the figures represent themselves. Joan Miro painted many different objects in the painting that are nonsymmetric, shapeless, and are irregular shapes.Looking at this painting, It gave me southern hospitality and farm life/ country vibes. I looked at the painting and personally saw a guitar, chicken and part of a cupola. Joan Miro could’ve painted more complex figures and could’ve mixed primary colors to create secondary colors but he chose not to. The colors of the painting makes me feel happy and carefree. The shapes and figures from the painting at first made me feel agitated because I couldn't tell what the painting was of and what each shape and figure were but after analyzing its sensa it gives me a better understanding of what the artist is trying to communicate.

Skinny Love

One piece of work that touches my soul every time is the song; “Skinny Love” by Birdy. I was nine when I first listened to this song. I was at my lowest, struggling with an eating disorder and being in and out of hospitals. At first, when I heard this song, I thought it was about having to be skinny to receive love. The more I listened to the song, I started to understand the actual meaning of the song and that helped me get through my eating disorder. The meaning of skinny love refers to an existing relationship in which there's no actual love or emotional fulfillment, but they’re there for a codependent need for affirmation. In my experience, my eating disorder was my only “friend” and we were in an extremely toxic relationship but my ED brought me a feeling of safety and purpose. Even though I felt safe with my ED, I knew deep down that this “relationship” wasn’t gonna last because it was malnourished, and if I stayed my ED would keep taking over me and starving me until I died. In the song, there is a verse saying, “Come on, skinny love, what happened here?” When my ED first came into my life, I thought it made me a better person. I was thriving with my ED for the first 3 months of having it. I started to get better at sports, I got compliments, and I enjoyed the “new” Jenna. Fast forward 6 years; ED was still controlling and ruining my life. I was just skin and bones. I lay in hospital beds thinking about when I was gonna die. My rock bottom was when I was 15 years old; 52 pounds, 45bpm heart rate, 57 mg/dl glucose level, 72/30 blood pressure, and an empty stomach. Doctors told my parents that I could die anytime. I thought to myself; “how did it get this bad?” “I thought ED was my Friend.” I tried to figure out when this relationship turned sour but ED was deceiving and a liar. At that point in my life, I knew I had to change before I got worse.   The chorus; “And now all your love is wasted, And then who the hell was I?” every day I feel guilty, and I regret having my ED. I missed out on having a childhood, playing sports, going to school, making friends, and having good memories. "In the morning I'll be with you, But it will be a different kind, I'll be holding all the tickets, And you'll be owning all the fines." I didn’t recover overnight, but over time; I started to not listen to ED. I got a little better every day, and ED started to get quieter. ED will always be with me but instead of ED controlling me, I control the ED voices. Sometimes I miss having ED, but now I’m thriving so much more. ED is paying the fines. I beat ED when it was so close to winning by killing me. This song has been with me through my ups and downs. It taught me that it’s okay to miss your “ex” but in the end, you are better without them. I am so grateful for this song and all the meanings it has. Without this song, I don’t know if I would be here today.  

All About Jenna

Hey Ya’ll, 

My name is Jenna and this is my second year at FSW. I am a nursing major at The University of Alabama but I’m taking some perquisites through FSW to lower cost of tuition. As of right now, I don't have a job but back in Naples, I started a Hawaiian shaved ice business with my dad. Next semester, I will be taking a phlebotomy course so I can get some hospital experience before nursing school. After nursing school, my goal is to either become a travel nurse of a psychiatric nurse practitioner and start my own practice. I am excited to be in this class and learn more about humanities and more about my fellow classmates.