girl if you do not clock out and lezz the fuck out already
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?????
???????
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they match each other’s freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public
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Remember: behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this occasion
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nobody:
half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around*
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Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.
Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that
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in another life, I would have loved nothing more than to kill people with hammers with you
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how it feels to ignore text messages and phone calls
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