16th April 2024

I got my prom dress on the 13th and even got a cute pink dress too

I've been completely swarmed in work for exams now when they are next month, I mean I guess they arent that far...

i finished my photography exam and we just get to go back and work on other stuff

l'm doing my media one on the 30th of April then the 1st of May aka my birthday which I'm excited for :)

i wrote this on my break from my science work which I have to do 2 hours on before tmr :(

12th April 2024

I am bad at remebering.

I can't remember what has happened recently since my memory has been so bad so this may be a short one.

The only thing I can talk about is that I finally updated my notion and my Duolingo streak is at 176!

Oh and I did my final photography exam today, I hope I get a good grade because I spent an extra hour after school to finish everything!

I'm going prom dress shopping tomorrow but if I don't get a dress I ain't going, I don't really like people in my year anyways so I'm not missing much.

28th February 2024

I forgot...

Anyways... I'm exhausted and ive been back in school for only 3 days which isn't good. I did some revision before on chemistry and history. Still, only for health since my history teacher apparently, can't fucking update us with the right materials to even pass... I'm just tired and struggling with a few things. Still, I'm slowly working on myself in the process.

I'm slightly becoming happier with my body, I don't mind it but I do sometimes feel horrible. everything is getting better and I leave in June so I can relax for a while then I go to college! I'm so excited because I can wear my own clothes and only study one thing which is media (very fast decision) when I went on the day it was the only one I actually enjoyed...

I need to write in my book again, update my notion when I get the chance, also my Japanese book which I'm proud to say my streak is at 132 days!

7 Feb 2024

Happy New Year...!?

I've been so disorientated, how is it Feb? Well my updates are

im exhausted

im depressed

fuck life

so not much different, what do I talk about? I have nothing right now.

exams? yeah no...

Well, I'm rewriting my ocs for my own thing and gave Yumi an AI voice. I haven't written in my book or notion in a while since I have to revise, I want to find the time but it's hard and I don't want to fail. Bio mock tomorrow.

I wish anyone who reads this any luck with whatever you're going through because no one needs to be going through shit in this fucking world.

4th December

I forgot to write.

I can't even remember what has happened between Sep and now.

I have a new notebook I write in regularly, my Duolingo streak is 46 and I despise school.

I found my love for writing again and a bit of drawing. i made a notion page which I'll update when I watch shows or finish books etc.

Sayin' I'm tired is an understatement and really I wish I could sit around and write all day or over analyse small things or just do something which involves creating theories or anything to write my opinions on.

I'm going to watch JJK soon as Tiktok seems to have completely spoiled 50% of the main events but oh well!

Will I forget to write again? yes!

Oh, and I've made more OCS/self-inserts and I'm happy with that.

September 9th 2023

TW - Mention of relapse

Started school on the 5 or 6 (can't remember) but it has been an absolute shir show so far. The first day was just dull tbh, stuck in form all day aside last lesson and at least I got a good seat in science. Second day, where do I start? don't even remember the classes but I sent an email to the teacher after that day because I was alone and it was actually horrible yeah I chose to not be friends with R but that doesn't mean the others need to ignore me.

After that day I spoke to my head of year and told her about how everything went down and she said "oh this girl has no friends, maybe try to help her" HELP HER? I'm sorry but that girl is a pick me bitch with an all-guy friend group, how does she need my help and apparently doesn't have friends... but anyways I got put with her and honestly it was so awkward.

Yeah, it didn't last long, She abandoned me and I was like oh cool. but the night before I had been struggling with the urge to relapse so I told a teacher who reported it to a safeguarding leader. Got taken out of a lesson to talk about everything, he took me to the library and I ended up signing up to become a librarian (waiting to see if I got it) and also maybe doing a knitting club on Tuesdays but we will see.

Today I had to buy new school shoes because of course I wasn't allowed my shoes I had been wearing for the past year, I got some nice shoes at least and after that I decided to revise history (health) and actually start my media studies revision, safe to say my hand kills but I have to update my Tumblr

Think that's all for today, let's see if I can sleep through this heatwave right now even though it's autumn.

Woo I'm not dead

August 31 2023

Listen I honestly forgot about this account so I haven't written in so long, so now I get to make a long post on my life updates (also ignoring the scary-ass clown staring at me on my homepage)

I don't remember what I wrote last so we will start with a big change. I dropped R (will not be using names) and I seemed to change for the better after that, well I think changed a lot. Though recently they started being a bitch, yk that Lana del Rey audio, it goes like "I win" at the end and they had the audacity to put "you blocked me" "I win" like excuse me actually I blocked you second because I didn't want you on my account and now you make it to be like some big achievement??? It's really not but yeah. you go bro. also after some more looking into things, (let me add context first) there were these two account both matching user and pfps and were on my partners account harassing them so I was like "Oh they have T's name in it ill ask R" asked them, they apparently knew nothing so I was like "ask T" apparently T didn't know though her name was in the user so I asked her personally and she was being a bitch about it and I was like "chill it was a question" now I would of stopped bugging her until she screenshotted the chat, like why would you do that if you knew nothing??? but anyways, found out one of those accounts commented under R video so that cleared everything, they did know them. honestly hate how they are starting shit.

Moving on. I think since you know I now have no friends in my school I can actually focus on work since its my last year, I also have been trying to improve talking to people and actually keeping a routine since my skincare went to shit one day and I didn't know why. i start school soon so I may not find time to carry this on but I want to. I've got to actually sign up for college too soon... probably going into photography or art but most likely photography. I'm getting a whole computer setup so I wont be hunched over my laptop like I am right now typing this, I do find being able to rant like this fun even if no one will read it.

Oh my friend J asked me to join a band they are making, I'm being guitar but i only have acoustic and prefer electric but it'll have to do, they sent us a really fast pace song like... I'm using acoustic??? but its okay i can figure it out, oh i have a DnD session with them tomorrow which i totally forgot about and now i cant go shopping with my mum but its okay.

I should finish up so i can go play on my ps with C and possibly other C (Maybe I should come up with nicknames for this)

!!!

I got my first tiktok hate comment just because I put ' I am Mitsuri ' (I am the real Mitsuri) It was funny cause he said 'That's not your username' Oh I'm sorry I didn't know I was talking to Goku wow so sorry man

Anyways I blocked him!

July 30th 2023

I kinda lied, my only update isn’t just that i was asleep for most of the day but instead i got up earlier, though i did eat breakfast at dinner but yeah.

I decided i would try practice the guitar and i’m getting used to it, i can sorta play Francis Forever by Mitski (the intro part) its fun to learn but i still have to keep practicing. I did try those recommended beginner ones but of course they are too difficult for me.

As i write this i literally had to pull my brother from nearly killing himself, i swear to god... his friend is on call with him while sat out his window what are they doing.

I really thought i had more of an update today but i really just spent hours playing guitar and my fingers hurt bad from, its alright i’m getting used to it.

I mean next friday i’m going to play DnD at my friends house so that’s fun.

Oh i know, i could probably write a whole page on soots (my oc) though that’s a lot of effort that i do not have right now as i listen to my shitty pop music because i ran out of skips of spotify.

I feel like these updates about my life wont be as eventful than my other posts where i talk about random stuff i like or want to do.

I did just spend an good minute spell checking this.

Cosplay Plans !

And now I decide to stop being sad on this blog to talk about something I'm passionate about.

I used to cosplay and it was those really bad wish cosplay wigs and outfits because I was really young, now I wanna save up and cosplay properly.

Cosplay always brings me joy, I was always unsure why but I remember how happy I got every time I got into that shitty Toga Himiko (My hero academia) cosplay or the time my ex let me wear their Chiakai Nanmi (Danganronpa) cosplay for Halloween, it felt nice.

Anyways! ill just talk about my main three right now because I could go on for hours. First, my most wanted is Mitsuri Kanroji (Demon Slayer) she's my favourite character and yes her outfit is a bit revealing, I've seen cosplayers just button up her top so it's okay. I also totally don't wanna do those Obamitsu (Obanai x Mitsuri) tiktoks with my partner, totally don't... but seriously I really do, I like doing cringy shit like that.

Next is Shinobu Kochou (Demon Slayer) she was going to be the cosplay I do for my school photography project but my parents wouldn't let me buy it because 'it a waste' and 'when would I wear it again' I really don't know how to explain how it's a hobby and I really enjoy it but yeah Shinobu is one of my favourite characters and I don't really know what ships I could do (probably shinogiyuu -> shinobu x Giyuu)

Finally, Jinx (Arcane/Leauge of Legends) I've had this hyper fixation on Arcane since it came out and really want season two, jinx is just one of my favourites and I had this phase where I wanted to grow my hair as long as hers but thinking about it now, too much hair to deal with and a lot of hair dye. Though I don't think id be confident in her outfit as I'm definitely not the right body type for it so I can wait a while before I do this cosplay.

July 29th 2023

I don't know why but I decided I wanted to post my life online, maybe it's because my life is utterly dull but it's because I find comfort in writing.

I probably just need to talk, I've noticed how sad I've become. Not because of people around me (well) but because I feel useless and alone yet I'm not, I have friends and a lovely partner but I still feel alone. Maybe its the lack of routine because of not being in school, I find it strange I actually miss school despite knowing full well when I go back I'm alone and have no one for me because I cut them all off, I shouldn't complain because it was for the best and not because I felt like it.

As I write this I'm listening to someone read Solitare maybe that's why I felt the need to write a blog, though I actually wanted to do this for years. The notion is too complicated and this was the only place I could find to write a blog.

Anyways, not much has happened. I mean I played DnD the other day with my friends which was fun, today though was horrible. I woke up to shouting and when I went to look, my dad and some other guy on our street were shouting at a boy who had hurt someone (my brother or his friend) it calmed down until the kid brought his dad. It all broke out (no violence) the police came and since they went to find the guy everyone seemed tense and I've been alone. I could go on the ps4 and talk to my friends, I could reply to my 50 different texts but I don't know, it doesn't feel right, I wish I knew why but for now ill finish here and write tomorrow.

Though the only update is that I haven't eaten and slept in till like 12 again.