Emergency! Help me get rid of my third molars !!

New TTRPG character! This time its a sci-fi campaign. Their name is Dr Lieutenant Commander Tyrechades Corvinius Yuus (you have to say the whole name every time, they dont like nick names). Basically a Star Trek red shirt who got sent on so many dangerous missions that nearly their entire body has been replaced, piece by piece.

the butterfly prince

honestly nothing for me will top the energy of BTS photos/videos of horror movie monsters/demons/creatures/etc in full makeup just hanging out… like

energy….

With forest fire season approaching, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. Last year, I was trapped inside, wondering why everything tasted like I was eating it at a mid-tier barbecue joint. This year, my plan was to invent some kind of machine that absorbs the forest fire smoke and turns it back into trees. I succeeded.

You might not think that such a thing is possible. Doing so is a waste of time that you could be spending inventing your own Teletreeporter. A couple cups of coffee later, and I was driving around an old International truck (watch your feet, the floors are gone) with a prototype stuck to the back of it.

As a test, I chose to start in the smokiest part of town, the old fan factory. Someone left the place running and then locked themselves out years ago, and now the autonomous assembly algorithms are tearing the building apart in order to have enough material to keep manufacturing fans. Nobody has told the robots to stop quality-testing those fans, either, so every single one they build goes out in the parking lot, and runs until destruction. It's a big draw on the local power station, and also kind of ruins the air quality in the area. I flipped the switch, and the Teletreeporter leapt to life, popping out a perfect, not even blackened, elm tree.

And then the switch jammed. In my defence, it was not my fault that I used a junky old switch I found in a cookie tin full of old switches that I got from some dude's estate sale. Sure, I could have tested it more, but who knows if it would have broken just the same? Either way, I was now driving around town, shitting out a constant, unbroken stream of tree sausage.

"Take cover," I shrieked as I drove recklessly past a public park, reforesting it the whole way. "I can't turn it off!" As I got on the throttle and headed towards Main Street, I noticed that the sky was beginning to get brighter and brighter. The damn thing had absorbed all the forest fire smoke and was getting a start on the atmospheric carbon. If I didn't do something soon, it was going to reverse climate change, and start pooping out bricks of solidified gasoline.

"Goddammit! Stop fixing the climate," shrieked a cop, fumbling for his gun. His threat came too late. He got creamed by a thick stream of authentic ground Brontosaurus meat, brought back to "life" by the reversion of the Jurassic period's extinction event.

this stupid dream I had

gutted (crop) (full thing on patreon)

twitter | ig | inprnt | patreon | store

Thread and bone by Choro Choi

i was looking for gifs of the animations of clippy from windows 98 and i couldn’t find any, so i made this ones! 

(part 1)

harrowhark gets her lobotomy at claire's: the aftermath comic

ian mckellen directed these movies actually

Midwest emo is so crazy, they really built an entire genre on 3 songs:

oh no im gay for my best friend

oh no im turning into my deadbeat dad

and oh no, i live in ohio

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

dont worry they're just hating 😔 philly is a great place to live. lotta surburbanites will tell you its sooo dangerous because they know someone who got mugged once 10 years ago.

New Yawk and New Joysie