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Me when— me when;
SIX WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU — itoshi sae.
ಣ₊˚. contents — (4.2k) wc, f!reader, pure fluff, reluctant friends to lovers??, mutual pinning, roommates!au
ಣ₊˚. synopsis — itoshi sae has known you for six summers, and he's told you he's loved you in six different ways.
i. ( like the fleeting warmth of sunsets in winter. )
❝ i don't hate you. ❞
the first time you meet itoshi sae, you're fifteen and he's sixteen and you're almost certain no one in his life has ever told him to shut up. you can't stand him, he's rude and all too full of himself, and he rebuffs all your attempts at being friends. you take it as your hint to not be involved with him at all.
which would've worked if you weren't classmates and neighbors. sometimes you end up at his house more often than you'd like —courtesy of your mothers being old college roommates— and you try offering your fair shares of polite greetings of “oh, hello” and good morning or good night texts.
he either leaves you on delivered —seen 6hrs ago if you're lucky— or he prefers to stare at you like you've said the dumbest thing known to man, a curt nod is his way of acknowledging your presence but not bothering to reply back.
it's a sappy cliché. parents beings friends so naturally you and sae must spend a lot of time together except it's anything but that and you're sure he hates you. you're not a big fan of his casual glares either. you come to accept that the two of you are nothing but strangers with threads of chance meetings tangled unfavorably in your lives.
sae sits three desks away from you in the next row and yet he feels a world away from your reach. sometimes your eyes meet in the hallway and you've long since given up on smiling or waving, so that's where it ends.
you eventually become friends with rin, he's a year younger but much more tolerable than his older brother. sure, he's stoic and awkward but at least he doesn't look like he wants to kill you every second. rin walks you home every day, because you're friends. sae tags along, because his mother insists on being nice to you.
six months pass in the blink of an eye, the chilly wisps of winter beginning to gnaw away at your skin. you're sixteen now, and your relationship with sae is as rocky as always. rin's not walking with you today, so it's just you and him. there's not much talking between you and sae. you don't acknowledge his presence, maybe he prefers it that way. you call a friend instead— because as sae has come to notice, you're not a fan of long (awkward) silences— chatting away about adjusting to a new life and a seatmate that's been bothering you who just won't take the hint.
sae scoffs, and you pause.
it's been a long, tiring day and the absolute look of disdain on his face hits the last nerve, “is there a problem?”
“no,” he says flatly.
sae walks ahead without so much as sparing you a glance. he's about ten paces ahead when he turns back, “you coming or what?”
“i'm sorry if me talking is such a bother. but i'm not talking to you. why're you even here? you and i both know you'd rather be anywhere else. i know you hate me and all, but you don't have to act like you're doing me a favor. because you're not.” you spit, it's harsh and biting like the cold gusts of wind caressing your hair. heat begins to settle in your cheeks— in anger or in response to the cold against your skin, sae isn't sure.
silence creeps up in the heavy atmosphere, you think he'll disregard you as always. then, “is he bothering you too much? what, does he stalk you or something?” straightforward as always, you're not sure if sae's mocking you or feigning concern.
“why do you care? because your mom asked you to?” you cross your arms.
sae clicks his tongue, “that's not what i asked.”
he knows you're stubborn. he knows you don't have the kind of relationship with each other where you come to talk about your problems and offer solutions, so he's not surprised when you brush him off, “it's none of your business.”
you walk past him, the distance between you two feeling larger and heavier than ever. “i don't hate you.” but not enough that you don't hear him.
the next day your seatmate is bowing his head in hastened apologies and stumbling over his own words, frantically avoiding your gaze, “i'm sorry, y/n! i swear i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable! i didn't stalk you or anything, i should've taken the hint! please forgive me, I'm sorry!”
you're taken aback by his trembling hands and staggered voice, the sudden modesty of apologizing.
sae doesn't walk with you that day. rin does and you ask him if he said something to your seatmate. “what seatmate?” he'd replied. you remember you didn't tell him anything about anyone bothering you.
you didn't tell anyone besides your friend who lives all the way back in Hokkaido—
— and sae.
ii. ( like the first spark of festival firecrackers. )
❝ call me by my first name.❞
the festival spirit is exuberant per usual. the night-time adorned with food stalls coupled with fumes of spices and sizzling meet, children running through tents, and the blossoms of juvenile love confessions filling the air with the laughter and cheering of people attempting at festival games— it's enchanting, catching you in a trance.
you'd somehow convinced sae to join you, “we'll just go and watch the fireworks show. you'll have fun, i can guarantee that much.”
sae turns seventeen before you, his life falling into a rhythm of soccer practice (as much as he can), classes (mandatory, unfortunately), back home and exercise (lots of it), then watching the clips of the matches of every opposing team (he loses track of time).
the stone of walking home with you everyday is thrown somewhere in there, with the ripples in its wake stretching comfortably in his life. it's no longer at the instance of his mother. out of habit or choice, you wait for him everyday until his practice is over and sae doesn't mind it too much. he never really did, it might just be something he looks forward to. (you don't need to know that.) he'll say a lot has changed— he's not sure if you can be called a friend but somewhere along the way, awkward silences turned into comfortable breaths of matching paces as you walk, eyes meeting by chance outside of class and sae doesn't mind being the one to wave first, he turns on his notifications just so he can reply to you in time albeit dryly, you've learned to not take it personally.
it did take efforts from both of you— sae being just a little more careful with his words around you, a little more patient. his responses are quick and sharp as ever, but not dismissive anymore. when you talk to him, it doesn't feel like a one-way conversation. he's figured he likes listening to you talk more than initiating any conversation. and you've learned that while sae will rarely be the one to break the silence, he most definitely hates it as much as you do.
one step at a time— matching paces to walk together, waiting for the other one to catch up, that's how you and sae work.
so when he'd initially refused to your suggestion, he's quickly learned that you're a lot more persistent and criminally good at convincing him than he'd like. this is how he now finds himself with you, laid out on a hill in the north of tokyo prefecture, empty boxes of food lying beside and the wistful blues of post-sunset before the two of you.
“see, sometimes its not bad to enjoy the good things in life, itoshi.” you hum, lightly pulling at the grass beneath you.
“i do enjoy the good things in life. soccer is good.”
“yeah, yeah. but taking a break like this is pretty fun, isn't it? don't be shy, admit it already.” you joke, and sae doesn't reply. when you turn to look at him, he's already staring at you.
“what is it?” you ask, reeling back a little. it's a little unnerving, being the centre of sae's attention. it makes you feel small— for reasons you can't name. but it also makes you feel a little special, that's just one of the many things about sae you dont think you'll ever understand.
he draws just a little closer, the air shifting with him, “you still call me itoshi.”
“what?”
sae doesn't inch back, if anything, he's looking at you like he can't tear his eyes away, “nothing. you just don't call rin by our last name."
oh. that.
“uhm, so do you want me to?” you ask, a little hesitantly.
“i don't mind if you call me by my first name, y/n.” there's a certain lilt to the way he says your name, as if he's emphasizing on first name basis. he's always used your first name, and you've always noticed it sounds different wiith him.
he says it like it always rests there at the tip of his tongue, like an unspoken word finally leaving his lips. he says it like it's the answer to everything, like it's so natural that it's you— there's yes and there's no, and then there's your name.
you feel the heaviness of his gaze as if in anticipation, waiting to hear you say it. so after a moment of reticence, “okay, sae, first name basis it is.”
if you didn't know better, you'd say he looks... satisfied. something wavers in his eyes and he looks away, you find yourself missing the way his gaze lingers on yours.
later that night you'd lay in your bed, events of earlier playing in your mind in a loop.
sae.
his name rolls off your tongue as you bring a finger to trace your lips. you repeat it to yourself over and over and over again until it leaves a sweet, luscious aftertaste. it simmers in your voice and sounds like a lullaby. a melody of his name sung like secret whispers, one that calms you and eventually puts you to sleep. you think you like how it sounds, much like how your own does in his voice.
iii. ( like a lovedrunk gaze finding yours at 2 am. )
❝ i don't mind if it's you.❞
you. sae. roommates.
the idea is laughable. downright idiotic. fifteen year old you would've bet a snowball's chance in hell that you and sae could ever be roommates. plenty of reasons for this to be impossible. one, for example— sae and you attend different universities. two— sure, you've gotten closer as friends but sae isn't exactly roommate material. well, he did mention he'd never even shared a room with rin so you can guess he's never had much experience either.
you'd suggested it as a joke, thrown it among the laughs and snarky comments in the games of uno you'd been winning for the past hour, “if i let you win the next match, will you let me move in with you?”
he'd scoffed at you, throwing a draw 4 card with a smirk because you're down to one card, “you lose.”
“you can't end the game with a wild card, smartass."
“sure can. players make the rules, and i just won." he says flatly.
“that is not what we agreed—”
“i win.”
“you're just making that up, sae, take it back this is gonna be my tenth win.”
“but i don't have any other card, what did you say about moving in?”
you pause at that, you didn't think he'd pay attention, “i was joking, you know I'm looking for a place near college.” you say as you pick up the deck of cards, shuffling them again to deal because arguing with sae is like arguing with a wall that sends death glares your way, you don't entertain that idea very much.
sae ponders your words, wonders if you mean it or not. he briefly imagines it, being roommates with you. then the words leave his mouth before he can think about it, “it's not a bad idea.”
you halt in your movements, letting silence take form. he almost regrets saying anything because what if you were just joking? what if you'd wanted him to brush it off as a joke too? did he overstep?— until he sees you gaping at him like an idiot. then he relaxes, and you think you hear him snicker, prompting you to come back to your senses. had you heard him right?
“it's not?”
sae shrugs, a little more confident in his words this time, “it's not. you know my place is near your college. you're tolerable, i don't mind having a roommate if it's you.”
he doesn't mind having a roommate if it's you. he doesn't mind spending a significant amount of his time in the same house, under the same roof with someone even though it goes exactly against the very reason he got a place for himself— if, and only if, that someone is you.
you'd be lying if you said that didn't just boost your ego and swelled your heart a little.
you try to bite back a smile, but fail anyway, “you're serious? when'd you get so generous?”
he doesn't say anything, offers you his signature scoff instead. well, if he knew what to say, he probably would. sae doesn't know why he suggested it. he's sure he would've said no before anyone else could throw the question. but then again— you're giggling and making fun of him and doing a little victory dance in your spot every time you win. it's 2 am, he remembers. and he's sitting in the living room of his apartment playing uno with you when he's not even sure he understood the rules.
he doesn't mind this too much. he thinks he can handle losing every match every night— if it's with you.
“you don't expect me to clean and cook for you right?” you joke, and sae takes a look at his card, and you catch the way his eyes flash with disappointment —he knows he's gonna lose this time for sure— “again, not a bad idea.”
“i mean if you pay me enough, i might—”
“that's not how that works.” he sets down a blue 5.
“that's exactly how it works.”
“i'm not the one looking for a place to live.” he says dryly, but you hear the amusement in his voice.
“hey sae,” your voice is close to a whisper, and sae hums. he waits for you to put down your card, or say something witty like you usually would. when you don't, he looks up at you, a pretty smile on your lips, “thank you, really.” you say before putting down a blue draw 2 card, but suddenly sae can't really focus on the game.
iv. ( like a breath of relief at the sight of home. )
❝ because i wanted to. ❞
“sae, what the fuck?” you groan, rubbing your temples to ease the damn headache you woke up with.
“i thought i told you—” he begins, stirring something in the pan before grabbing a bowl, “—to stay in your room. everything's fine here.” he says, but nothing is fine, actually.
to put it simply— it's a fucking disaster.
you're not surprised, truly you're not. sae in the kitchen is always a disaster waiting to happen in the name of accidents and “i was just trying to warm the leftovers.” the sink is filled piles upon piles of dishes and something is burning in the pan to which sae isn't really paying attention to.
“have breakfast if you're here, you look like shit.” he says casually, as if there's not smoke slowly filling the air.
“i feel like shit too, but what are you trying to do?”
“making breakfast, obviously. well, yours is ready, you can take the scrambled eggs over there.” he beckons to the plate set on the table, and it's the only thing anywhere close to normal and edible.
“but it's my turn, you're on dishwasher duty.”
sae spares you glance— more like he shoots you a look of are you stupid? and did you seriously just say that, then clicks his tongue as he goes back to making whatever it is you don't dare question.
“didn't you have a headache?” he says at last.
“that was last night sae, i mean it still hurts like a bitch but not as bad as before. and anyway you didn't know that, so why?”
“because i wanted to. now pipe down, you talk too much.” he brushes off your words.
and you realise he's not gonna say it out loud. he's not gonna actually verbalise it like “you had a headache last night and i was worried you'd still be feeling like crap so i just thought I'd make you breakfast— even though i might burn down the kitchen in the process”, he'll instead say, “well? I'm not gonna hand feed you.”
and thats okay, you've long since learned to read between the lines and connect the slip-ups of his words. sae isn't one to swallow his own words, he says it like it is, for what it means. but there are times some meanings lie in his actions, not his unspoken words.
so you say nothing more, having heard him loud and clear. you sit down, eyeing your breakfast carefully. then, very calmly, “sae, this has eggshells in it.”
his head whips faster than an owl turning to you, “the fuck? shit—”, he takes the plate from your hands, “wait just a minute, this'll be done in seconds.” he beckons to the fried rice in the pan, the one you're sure was burning minutes ago.
“that's your breakfast sae—”
“’m fine, I'll have cereals.”
“you... hate cereals though?”
“do me a favor and shut up.”
you laugh at that, a sweet and warm laugh, “seriously, what are you doing sae? the kitchen's a disaster and I'm sure whatever you're making is not edible. you don't have to do this, i can have cereal too.”
he pauses at that, turns to you instead. he finds you smiling at him, and his shoulders relax ever so slightly. “you stayed up late last night with all those damn projects, i just thought breakfast would be nice.”
“thank you, that's really sweet of you. but you know what would be really nice? we have cereals, then we watch reruns of friends, and after that we can just laze around the whole day, get nothing done. you and me, it's the weekend.”
sae looks at you— really looks at you. the worry lines blurred on your forehead, the spilled darkening highlighting below your eyes, the tired haze in your voice, the warm but exhausted smile you wear.
he thinks you're beautiful, with your morning hair and still a bit of sleep in your eyes— you're beautiful and he cant find it in him to look away.
“okay,” he breathes— a sigh of relief and warmth and gratitude.
“okay,” you repeat.
v. ( like the union of heavens and the earth. )
❝ you don't know what you do to me.❞
sae's not sure how he ended up like this.
the first semester of second year in university has started, the wind carries the smell of wet earth after the first showers of spring, a touch of the scent of lemongrass lingers in the air— and you're stumbling on your feet with your already slurred words and bubbling laughter sputtering through the air.
he's amused really, because you're sober enough to at least remember who he is but tipsy enough to push forward with your insistence on reminding him how pretty he looks.
“saeee, i missed youuuu,” you whine, head falling back against his arm as it goes around to rest on your shoulder.
“you saw me 4 hours ago, and we live together.” he says, watching the way you frown at his words.
“but i still missed you, you should've been with me.” you purse your lips, the way you do when you try to hide your smiles.
“yeah, i think i should've, you're a mess.”
“and you're so pretty,” you slur, bringing your fingers to brush over the smooth skin of his cheeks, “your eyelashes are prettier than mine.”
sae holds you by your arm, a firm and protective grip. he walks patiently, making sure you don't trip on air, “is that so?” he chuckles, betting on the possibility that you'll likely not remember this.
“were you always this pretty, sae or am i too drunk?” you giggle, stumbling forward into his arms.
sae holds you still, “you're drunk, idiot.” they say people are honest when drunk, so surely you mean what you said? god, he's glad you can barely keep your eyes open because he can feel his ears burning.
“but you're pretty, so pretty, i could kiss you right now.”
sae thinks he feels the ground shift beneath his feet— or was it him that tripped a little? heat begins to settle in his cheeks, you've very successfully knocked the air out of his lungs with just a few words, “shut up, I'm taking you home.”
“why, you don't want to?” you tilt your head, cheeks round and wholesome and sweetly puffed.
fuck— a drunk you is very dangerous. sae makes a mental note of never underestimating your flirting skills when you're tipsy.
“you'll hate me for it later, just quiet down.”
“i won't. never, i promise.” the playful way you're grinning at him right now with warm hues favouring the color of your skin, sae frowns at that.
it's unfair, he thinks. you can't just get drunk and then call him pretty with amused eyes and playful grins, you can't just compliment him on his eyelashes and tell him how much you missed him. it's not fair you get to say you want to kiss him even though you might not remember it when he most definitely will think about it forever. he's not even sure if you mean it as a joke because he sure doesn't. and god it's really not fair how you're just standing there, breathing and smiling and holding onto him for support— and still look so goddamn beautiful. you're looking at him with glimmering eyes, waiting for him to take a step forward.
he wants to take a chance. he wants to run his fingers through your hair and guide your arms to loop around his shoulders. he wants to taste the alcohol faint on your lips and breathe your name like you belong to him.
he wants to kiss you. and to have you kiss him back.
he thinks maybe— just maybe, if he takes a step forward, you'll take one too.
so he does, “god, you don't know what you do to me.”
his lips crash with yours first, you'd hoped him to. it's warm and soft, slow and delicate, like only you know sae can be. it's long-awaited, you can feel the desperation building up under the hastened patterns sae's hands begin to trail down your arms, slithering round your waist as he pulls you close and closer. when you bring your hand to cradle the side of his jaw, sae melts into your touch. he feels his own heart ricochet like comets inside his ribcage— reducing all his thoughts to white noise. he pulls back once —to breathe, to accept, to admire— and then draws you back in. when your lips part for a final time and breaths tangle as one, you feel time freeze in that moment.
vi. ( like the first ray of sunshine through the window. )
❝ i love you. ❞
“don't you fucking dare,” sae sneers, his hold on you tightening to keep you in place.
“sae come on, i have to make breakfast. do you want me to starve?” you protest, struggling to wrestle yourself out of his hold.
but sae's strong, and he's stubborn.
“breakfast can wait, i don't wanna get up yet.”
“how is it about you? i'm hungry sae.”
“and I'm tired, we don't even have breakfast this early on weekends. just lie back down, you know you want to.” sae tugs on your arm, and he's right— his arms held out look big and warm and welcoming.
“i really don't know what to do with you,” you let his arm snake around your waist once again, and pull you back under the sheets, “you're impossible.”
“and you can't resist me,” you think he looks pretty this way— the sunlight highlighting his smile as he pulls you closer, determined to not allow even an inch of space between you both.
“no, i can't resist running away from responsibilities.”
“i love you,” the words roll off his tongue before he can stop himself, it's not really intentional— it's just you and the scent of your shampoo and the flutter of your eyelashes against his cheeks, the curve of your lips on his and the warmth of your skin. it's certain and precise and so full of love— to sae, the idea of loving you comes as naturally as breathing. so it's natural the words are pulled from his throat like it's all just a part of him and spilled between morning mellows and fond chuckles.
“i love me too,” you joke, nuzzling closer into his chest.
“say it back—”
you shut him up with a kiss, “and i think i love you too.”
© yuquinzel2023 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]
i wrote this last night and then cried myself to sleep why isn't he real i want him 🥹
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UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP
Sae Itoshi [pt2 to 'his amnesiac']
In which Y/n unravels the mysteries shrouding her lost memories. Fem! Reader
part 1
cw: c/n is cat's name, reader owns glasses, angst
1980 words
"I'm your wife but to me, you're a stranger".
Wife.
Sae's words were caught up in his throat. Even before the accident, him and Y/n weren't married yet, only engaged.
In spite of this, Sae always used to call Y/n his wife and it would never cease to make her flustered.
The fact that she referred to herself as his wife made him extremely happy.
Pitter-patter noises interrupted the loud silence between them as Y/n turned her head to the side. Sae had no reaction seeing as he already knew who the culprit was.
A snowy white cat made its appearance from behind the couch and immediately made itself cozy in Y/n's lap.
She was startled at first but found herself smiling as she reluctantly brought her hand down to pet it.
Sae could see the brightness in her eyes from the mere presence of the cat. Y/n was always fond of them and it took weeks of convincing for Sae to finally give in and let them get a cat.
"What's its name?", she asked, her hands fiddling with the dainty bell of the collar around the cat's neck.
"Just cat", he responded.
"Are you serious?", Y/n chuckled lightly.
"Well you called her (c/n) but I always thought cat was just fine", he shrugged his shoulders.
Sae's eyes fell on the large clock hanging opposite them, turning away to prepare dinner. "You hungry?", he asked.
"She's got eyes just like yours".
Sae's feet stopped.
————
Y/n gasped.
"This one! This is the one I want".
She oohed and awed at the cat who pawed at her feet, taking the feline in her arms and shoving it Sae's face.
"She's adorable isn't she!".
"You said you wanted to come in here for a 'look' not to take one home", Sae raised a brow. He wasn't fond of the thought of cat fur everywhere.
"Aw but Saeee", she drawled out, inching closer to her fiancé. "Can we please take her home?".
Sae internally scolded himself for being so weak to Y/n's pleading eyes. He grumbled under his breath and sighed in defeat.
"I suppose..", if it made her happy then he'd buy the whole store.
"You're the best!", she spoke as she held his cheeks in her hands and placed a kiss on his lips once, twice, before pulling away and taking the cat up in her arms again.
"Slate outer rings with teal all the way to the black".
"What?".
With that smile he grew to love so much, she asked. "Wanna know why I chose her?".
"Why?".
"Cause she's got eyes just like yours".
————
His eyes stung. So bad. He needed to leave before he let his emotions get the best of him, and he did just that.
Entering the kitchen, Sae closed the door behind him and leaned against it, his arm coming up over his eyes and his teeth clenching together.
He missed her so dearly. The old Y/n. The one he fell in love with.
They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. It was a phrase Sae heard a couple of times in his lifetime.
And now that he was living this phrase, he understood it all too well.
She was like a blessing sent from above, and what did he ever do deserve such a gift? Nothing. Sae doesn't think he's ever done anything in his life to be deserving of such a blessing. Maybe that's why it was all taken from him.
What an unfortunate life.
Dinner was quiet— nothing new.
Y/n was conflicted. And the quietness only gave room for negative thoughts to pile up in her head. She felt like the body she was in wasn't hers. She felt like an intruder.
She looked at her reflection in the spoon she held in her hand.
She was so different.
"Sae", she spoke.
She said his name.
If Sae was a puppy, his ears would've perked up by now.
"Tell me more about your fiancée", she said.
Y/n knew what kind of person she was, and how she lived her life before the accident. But she didn't need that version of herself because no one who knew that her was around anymore. She needed to know who she was in Sae's life because he's the only person she has left.
"My fiancée..", he repeated, his spoon tapping against his plate and his eyes falling onto the carrots at the side of his plate that he had no intentions of eating.
He didn't even know where to begin with describing her... he was starting to believe there were no words to describe her. She was just so perfect.
He opted to describe what she liked and her occupation.
"My fiancée, she was a neurosurgeon. Well not an official one, she was still doing her apprenticeship. She also loved romance movies. That was how our Friday night always went. She was the best cook to ever exist, ever since we started dating I could barely survive a day without a home cooked meal. She was so kind that we never had an argument. She always opted to sit down and talk about it. That is until the day of the accident..but that was different. It wasn't her at all, it was me. I provoked her to anger", he tightened his hold on his spoon.
"And she was way too beautiful for her own good. She always beat herself up about her looks and I would always do anything and everything to reassure her that she was wrong. Actions speak louder that words right?".
Y/n's eyes widened and she covered her red cheeks, flustered as to what Sae was implying. Suddenly the old grocery list stuck onto the fridge with a magnet that said 'Mallorca' couldn't have looked more interesting.
"She was also..", Sae pushed the glasses case that laid on the far side of the table towards her. "As blind as a bat", only when it came to reading though but regardless, Sae always teased her for squinting her eyes when she was too lazy to put on her glasses.
"You're really lovesick, Sae", she laughed. "I'm sure your fiancée would've made fun of you for it". His words really helped her mind settle down.
Of course he was lovesick. In fact, he used to think love was stupid and was only for fools who had no aspirations for themselves. He never thought he'd fall in love, let alone with someone as gentle and as kind as Y/n.
What Sae wouldn't give to be able to turn back time.
Bed time was less awkward.
Y/n glanced around the room which her and Sae used to share, it felt so familiar, yet she couldn't recall a single instance where she slept or rather did anything at all in that room.
Y/n opened the wardrobe and ran her hand across the variety of clothes hung up neatly, looking for pyjamas to change into.
She had no luck so she searched the chest of drawers across from the large king sized bed and luckily found a nightdress in which she could change into.
Y/n was once again help captive by her train of thoughts as she undressed. The familiar smells lingering around the room made her head ache from trying to pull the forgotten memories deep in her mind forward.
She pulled her top up over her head as it fell onto her lap, her eyes coming in contact with the framed photo of her and Sae in a country she knew was nowhere near Japan displayed on the dresser. She had no recollection of posing for that picture and it was breaking her heart because she looked so happy in it.
Was it really possible for her to regain her old life?
In that same instance, Y/n heard the bathroom door swing open, making her turn her head sharply.
"I'm changing!", she blurted without a second thought.
Sae shut the door again until it was slightly ajar.
"Oh sorry. This is new for me too", he spoke in a neutral tone.
Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, feeling a bit bad for her reaction. Did she even have the right to react that way? They were engaged before the accident and Sae was merely doing what came natural to him.
This naturalness was something he deeply missed. Especially when he used to sneak up behind her right after taking a shower and embrace her, purposefully getting her clothes damp.
He would've been able to do just that if only he had apologised that day.
How he longed to be able to touch her again.
"It's okay", Y/n retorted, slipping into the nightdress. "Can you show me to my room please? I'd like to go to bed now", she spoke in a voice just loud enough for Sae to hear. She was sure a good night's sleep would help her get rid of unpleasant thoughts.
Upon arriving at the spare room, it was the first time Y/n had gotten time to herself after the accident.
She sat on the bed and let out a sigh that seemed to have been stuck deep down in her chest for a while now.
She wished this was all a joke. She wished someone would flick on the lights and jump in front of her rambling on about how easily she fell for it.
That would never happen though.
The moonlight would be the only source of light the bedroom would receive unless she got up and flicked the lights on herself, and most certainly, no one would jump in front of her because it was only her in the room.
Her attention was drawn to the lengthy mirror standing in the corner of the room. Y/n narrowed her eyes at her reflection.
"I've changed so much...I find it hard to believe this is me", she uttered to herself, her hands making their way up to her face.
Y/n got up and stood before the mirror, her reflection a stranger staring back at her. The person she saw was familiar yet foreign, a jumble of features she couldn't quite place. Her hand trembled as she reached out, fingertips grazing the cool surface of the glass.
With a shaky breath, she whispered, "Why did this have to happen to me of all people?".
The words hung heavy in the air, unanswered.
It wasn't fair.
As she gazed into unfamiliar eyes, she felt her vision begin to blur and her legs tremble just like her lips.
Y/n collapsed onto the floor and hid her face in the palms of her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Each sob ripped through her chest, a symphony of anguish echoing in the silence of the room.
Sae paused in the doorway, the faint sound of stifled sobs pulling at his heartstrings. His mind told him to just let her be for now but his heart disagreed. Soon enough he found himself outside her room.
He knocked on the door before opening it and for a moment, he stood frozen, a myriad of emotions swirling within him. His heart ached at the sight of her pain, aching to ease the burden she carried.
But there was little he could do, and he felt so useless for that.
Y/n wiped her eyes upon sensing the presence of a second person and turned her head towards the man behind her.
"This might be a bit selfish of me Sae but, can you stay with me? Until I fall asleep".
masterlist :)
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— THE IDOL
itoshi rin x male!reader
summary: y/n is a famous pop idol, and rin is his biggest fan. what happens when y/n announces his brand new album "mood swings in this order" along with a tour to be held later in the year? surely, nothing too bad. right?
warnings/tags: language, nsfw implications (cum is said)
wc: 2.6 k
chapter one of the PAPARAZZI series
Being a pop star was difficult at times. From dealing with promotions, tours, and interviews, to crazy fans, trolls, and stalkers. But, none of that fazed you. Should it? Compared to some other idols, you went through a bit more than others, purely because of you embracing your sexuality in both the romance aspect and the performance aspect. You weren't afraid to do crazy concepts that would make fans turn and hate on the idol immediately. You definitely weren't afraid to express how you liked men, and while that may have caused a ruckus during your debut, it all worked out in the end somehow.
At the current moment, you were doing a photo shoot for your new album that you were soon to release the first single for. You had been taking photos for at least two hours, and you were getting irritated by the photographer telling you to do the same pose you’d already done fifteen times. After one last shot, you clasped your hands together.
“Can we take ten?” You said it loud enough for everyone to hear.
Murmurs of yes and thank gods came from the staff at your words, and everyone immediately split off into different areas of the house. With a sigh, you got up off the bed and walked outside where the balcony was, looking down at your backup dancers practicing the routine.
“So, how do we feel about the shoot, Y/n?”
You turned your head to see your assistant and best friend, Mikage Reo standing beside you. “Well, I’ve been taking the same photos for hours, how would you feel?”
Reo chuckled and nodded. “I know.” He followed your gaze towards the dancers before speaking more. “How do you feel about the choreo? Is it too hard? Do I need to make any adjustments? Do you not like any of the backup dancers?”
“Reo,” You said, placing both your hands on his shoulders. “Everything is fine, I swear. As long as things don't go shitty, everything will work out amazingly.” You reassured him.
Reo sighed and nodded again. “I guess,” he said. “I just want this album to be your biggest yet, and that's what Anri wants as well. She’s been super stressed recently trying to put all this together.”
“I understand,” You acknowledged, removing your hands from his shoulders. “But everything is going to be fine, stop worrying so much.”
“Okay,” He sighed again and nodded.
Meanwhile, your manager, Anri was dealing with a big problem with some of the other staff.
“What the fuck do you mean?” The woman spat out angrily at their social media manager.
“Look,” They handed Anri the phone.
She looked at the picture and her eyes went wide. “Has this hit the public yet?”
“Yes.”
“Shit,” Anri cursed, handing the phone back. “We have to tell him.”
“Are you serious?” The social media manager looked at her with shock. “What if it causes a breakdown of some kind?”
“He can deal with it. Follow me.” Anri told them, starting to walk to where you and Reo were.
“Y/n!” Anri called your name. “We have a big problem!”
You and Reo both turned to look at Anri speed walking towards you two, making you look at her in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“This.” Anri shoved the photo in your face. “What the hell were you thinking going to a club with Ryusei and having this happen?!”
Looking at the photo, your eyes widened at the image. “I thought- he told me he deleted it!” You defended.
“And you believed him?!” Anri exclaimed. “Y/n, this is already trending on all social media, and not in a good way. You and Ryusei are not together. But now that everyone has seen this image, it's chaotic. His management isn't responding and either we have to say it's not real or you admit it and we pray this doesn't fuck anything up. So what do you want to do?”
“I guess I should admit-”
“We’ll say it's fake,” Reo cut you off before you could finish, making you look at him with confusion. “This will damage everything if we say that it's real. Can you imagine what the public will think? How are we supposed to hold a tour when they have seen someone's fucking cum on his face?”
“It’s not like Ryusei is some stranger,” You said.
“It’s still not good, Y/n,” Reo replied. “We have to say it’s fake, and hope his management says the same thing.”
“This is the best decision, Y/n,” Anri told you. “This also means you cannot see Ryusei anymore, he is going to damage your whole career if you go out with him again. Do you understand?”
You felt cornered. It was rare for Reo to take this kind of side in things, and it made you feel like you were being cornered into doing what they thought was best. While, usually they were right in matters like this. It was like you had no real control over anything anymore. With a short nod, you responded. “I understand.”
“Good, now get back to finishing the shoot while I figure out how to deal with this,” Anri said before walking back inside the house.
As soon as Anri was out of hearing distance, Reo quickly turned to you. “Dude, what the fuck?”
“What?” You asked, looking back at him. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“You look like a whore!” Reo whisper-yelled to you. “Do you understand that? This is not good! Ryusei is going to ruin this whole album! You need to stop seeing him!”
You stared at your friend in slight shock. Yet, you knew he was right. Consistently time after time again Shidou Ryusei has done something to fuck over your reputation leaving you to rebuild it again and again. But, you couldn’t stop seeing him. It was hard. But, you had to stop now. “Okay,” You said quietly, nodding your head.
“Now let’s get back to the shoot,” Reo said, grabbing your arm and pulling you along with him back inside the house.
You sat back down on the bed, adjusting your robe as the photographer came back and stood in front of the bed. You stared at the camera with what they later called a “killer look” that you should’ve had from the very beginning in your debut album. But, they didn’t understand what that look really meant. Not even Reo, who had been your best friend since you two were in middle school. They said the distant look in your eyes was perfect for the album, but they didn’t realize that this was going to end up being just the beginning of things. It was just that no one knew it yet. Not even you.
…
“Y/n, wake up,” Reo’s voice woke you up as he opened the curtains of your room.
You groaned lightly, covering your face with your hands as Reo sighed, walking over to you.
“Come on, you have to get up. We have to talk with PR,” He said, handing you a cup of coffee.
“Oh, great,” You mumbled, sitting up and taking the coffee from him. “I’m fucked, aren’t I?”
“Not yet,” Reo shook his head. “Ryusei’s management finally responded an hour ago.”
“What did they say?” You asked, taking a sip of your coffee after.
“Well, they are with us on saying the picture was fake,” Reo started. “Which is good, but…”
“But?” You tilted your head to the side.
“But, they also want to say it’s for your concept of this album,” Reo finished.
“What?” You questioned.
“Anri already told them how terrible of an idea that is so hopefully that won’t happen. But, it’s obvious Ryusei is trying to work his way around things. You must not let him, do you understand?” Reo told you.
You nodded your head slowly. “I understand.”
“Good, now get up.”
…
After finishing the long meeting with your PR team, you were finally able to go back home. You sat at the pool with a drink in your hand, sunglasses on with your eyes closed when you heard footsteps approach you.
“Yo! Y/n!”
You opened your eyes and turned your head to see your best dancer for your career so far, Hyoma Chigiri. “Chigiri! What’s up?” You replied, taking a sip of your drink.
“Do you wanna go out tonight?” Chigiri asked you. “There’s this new club I checked out last week and it was killer. You should come with me tonight.”
“Will Ryusei be there? I’m not really allowed to hang around him anymore.” You said, stirring the straw around in your drink.
“Nope,” Chigiri shook his head. “But who knows! Maybe you’ll meet someone better.” He smiled.
“True,” You acknowledged with a nod. “Sure, why not?” You eventually answered.
“Awesome, I’ll be here at 8 to pick you up then,” He said, patting your bare shoulder before walking away.
You hummed shortly in response, waving your hand and taking a sip of your drink. Hopefully, this would be nice for you. If not, it at least couldn’t hurt to go out with your friend. You finished your drink in another sip and set it down beside you, putting your arms behind your head as support and closing your eyes again.
…
Chigiri showed up a little late, which you didn’t mind since you weren’t even ready in the first place. You put your shoes on and heard your phone buzz, making you look at it to see Chigiri’s message that he was there. You put your phone in your pocket and left your house, immediately spotting the car near the front gate and you hurried towards it, the cool air freezing through the light materialized shirt you were wearing.
You opened the door and climbed inside the car, seeing Chigiri and he smiled at you.
“Hey! Looking good,” He said to you.
“You too,” You responded, putting the seatbelt on. “So, where’s this place at?”
“Only where the best clubs are,” Chigiri answered, pulling out of your driveway and back onto the road.
“Awesome,” You said, leaning your head against the headrest.
By the time you two arrived, it was half past nine, and the club had just opened at nine. When you stepped out of the car, your eyes squinted at the bright neon lights saying the name of the club that you were unable to read.
“Come on,” Chigiri grabbed your arm and pulled you inside with him.
You were immediately met with the loud booming music and neon lights, making you look around in awe at the place. “This place looks wicked,” You said.
“It is,” Chigiri answered, pulling you along more to get drinks.
While waiting for the drinks, you felt eyes on you. You turned your head to see a man staring at you. He quickly looked away once you noticed his gaze on you, and you watched as one of his friends started talking to him. You looked away when the drinks arrived, and Chigiri took his and went off somewhere, leaving you alone at the bar. You took a sip of the drink and made a sour face.
“Not your taste?”
You turned your head at the voice, seeing the male who was staring at you now standing in front of you. “Not really,” You shook your head. “I like harsher drinks.” You answered.
“Hey! Rufio!” The man called for the bartender, who hurried over to you two. “Get this lovely man here a new drink. Let’s say, a double jack and coke?” He said, glancing over at you for confirmation.
“Yeah, that works,” You nodded your head.
The bartender quickly made the new drink and handed it to you. You took a sip and looked at the male in front of you. “You can sit, if you want,” You offered, gesturing to the chair.
“I was actually going to ask if you wanted to dance,” He said.
“Ah,” You let out. ‘Well, I usually like a drink or two before dancing.”
“But-”
“Hey!” A voice echoed throughout the club.
The man looked away from you and at the younger male approaching the two of you at a fast-paced walk, and he looked terrified.
“What the fuck did I say about you coming back here, huh?!” The younger male exclaimed when he finally reached you two, smacking him in the face.
“I-I’m sorry! I th-thought-”
“Thought what? Get the fuck out!” The male kicked the older man a few times, watching him scurry away.
You stared at the new male in front of you with shock on your face, not knowing entirely what the hell just happened. When he looked at you, his face dropped, making you look at him confused.
“Uhm, do I know you?” You asked politely.
“No,” He shook his head. “But, I know you.” He answered. “You-You’re L/n, Y/n.”
Ah. A fan, great. “Don’t tell anyone, please,” You said quietly, holding your finger up to your lips. “I really just wanted a night out with my friend.”
“I won’t say anything,” He quickly shook his head. “I’m Rin,” He held his hand out to you.
“Nice to meet you, Rin,” You shook his hand.
“Do you maybe wanna dance?” He asked.
Looking at your drink, you took another big sip and set it down, nodding your head and standing up. “Sure.”
Rin grabbed your hand and pulled you with him to the main dancefloor. His hand let go once you both were in the middle of everyone, starting to dance to the electronic music blasting throughout the club. You generally weren’t one for electronic music but you didn’t mind it at the current moment. You felt hands wrap around your waist from behind and a body press against you, turning your head to see Rin towering over you while behind you. His gaze was stuck on you as he moved against you to the rhythm of the music.
He leaned down to your ear and quietly whispered. “Is that your friend over there?”
You followed his eyes to where Chigiri was talking to someone else and started walking towards the exit, and you nodded. “Yeah,” You said.
“Looks like he’s ditching you,” Rin spoke quietly. “Is he your ride?”
You nodded again.
“Hm,” Rin hummed, his hands gripping your sides tightly. “How about you let me take you home?”
You looked up at him with a mixture of confusion and shock. “What?”
“You have no way home now, right?” Rin asked. “You can’t get an Uber cause of your status, and I’m the only one who knows a famous idol is in my club right now. So, I say you have no other choice.”
You stopped dancing by now, his hands keeping you in place as you thought. He was right in all sorts of ways. You couldn’t afford to let anyone else know that you were here, and who knows what would happen if someone took a picture of you out clubbing just after the issue with Ryusei? You were stuck. “Okay,” You nodded.
“Come on,” Rin said as soon as you spoke, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the club through the back entrance where his car was.
You followed him out to the back, mentally praying that you wouldn’t die on this ride back to your house as he opened the passenger side door for you. You hesitated for a split second before getting in the car, letting Rin close it behind you. He got in a few seconds after and started the car.
“So, what way to your house?”
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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#blue lock x male reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x male reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi rin x reader
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𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — itoshi rin.
it's late and he's in a constant state of wishing you were in his arms // wc 459.
rin rolls over in his bed when he finally sends the message.
just a simple "are you up?" takes him a whole ten minutes to type, and he already wants to jump off a very tall building. it's nearly three in the morning, how on earth could you possibly still be awake? he feels stupid. he is stupid when it comes to you.
but he can't sleep, and his chest swells from thoughts of you.
he thinks of having you all to himself most nights, holding you so close he can finally get a taste of holding moonlight—and he wonders if this feeling's mutual or if it's just him who bears this much love like an exploding star.
he covers his face with a pillow and groans. how pathetic. it's only been a couple of hours since your last date anyway. you went to this nice aquarium in the city with rin following you around like a lost puppy. he listened to your explanation about sharks and watched you giggle with child-like excitement as you pointed at the cute pufferfish.
"hey, rinnie, take a photo of me and this little guy."
he grumbled when he did what you said, but he set that picture as his lock screen now. you're unaware, though. you will tease him forever if you know. he just adores your wide smile, okay? and whatever that fish is.
he got you ice cream on the way home when you surprised him with matching keychains you bought earlier. it's nothing expensive; a pair of blue-pink jellyfish that you claimed, "this is so us, baby."
rin's ears practically turned red at the sight of you shyly handing him the gift.
fuck yeah, those jellyfish are definitely you and him, alright. rin wanted to instantly melt into a puddle right there. he tried to play it cool by muttering a small "thanks" while patting your hair, but he was dying inside. he kind of wishes he could marry you on the spot.
the younger itoshi sighs. the clock is probably mocking him with the way it's loudly ticking. realizing that you haven't responded, he considers giving up and pushing himself to sleep.
"i mean, she must be exhausted. she needs to rest," he whispers to the ghost in his room who nods at everything he says.
rin deeply breathes. yes. you guys can always talk later. not at this ungodly hour, preferably.
"okay. never mind. i'm going to sleep."
rin unlocks his phone—eyes softening at the new wallpaper—then ponders for a moment whether to delete the message he sent several minutes ago or not.
he almost taps the confirmation button when you suddenly call, and he swears he never answers so fast in his life.
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Re-reading everything and i fell in love again🥰🤭‼️
All This Time PT. 6 FINALE
Itoshi Rin x Reader
SERIES!!! Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5
Uncle Osamu!! (From Haikyuu) Summary: After getting pregnant by Rin at the age of 16, deciding that not telling him about is the best thing you could do for him. Considering his soccer career, you would only get in the way.
I always imagined their red hair, the same shade as taylor swift from the all-too-well short film. It's such a beautiful shade!!! Rei's hair is also like that.
MASTER LIST; TAG LIST FORM
join my Tag list so that you can be updated when the next part comes out!!
“Let’s have dinner together.”
Rei was still wrapped around Rin, not wanting to let her dad go. The thought of Rei bonding with Rin as her dad makes my heart feel warm.
“Is it ok for people to see us together?”
We were walking toward the exit where the car was waiting for us, Daisuke told us that there were paparazzi outside, more than usual he added. Rin was about to answer my question but Daisuke beat him to it.
“I think it’s best if you hide your identity for now. I suggest you wear your mask and shades, And for Rei, I think we have a hat here. Rei-chan, just keep your face hidden ok? There are gonna be a lot of cameras outside and your eyes might hurt if you look at them.”
“Have her wear my shades” Rin said as he hugged Rei closer to his body as she buried her face to his neck more. Rei was being clingier than usual, I chuckled at the thought. I put on my mask and shades while Daisuke took out Rin’s shades.
“What about you though?” As Daisuke handed Rei the shades.
“I’m used to it”
I snorted at what he said, he stopped walking for a second but I continued walking. I was chuckling now. It’s just so cute to think that Rin is so famous now.
“Something funny?” Then I felt him pinch my waist. I winced as I rubbed my waist.
“Nothing. I just can’t get my head wrapped around the fact that a lot of people know you”
He just hummed as he kept his arm draped over my waist as he carried Rei with his other arm.
I adjusted the scarf around my head, making sure that it won’t fall off. “That looks good on you” To say that I was stunned at the sudden compliment would be an understatement. Good thing my mask was covering my face or else he would’ve seen my red face. That same ass effect again.
We reached the door where the paparazzi were waiting for Rin. He said that I should go ahead of him so that he can keep an eye on me. Daisuke was in front of me, he told the guards to open the double doors, and I heard Rin tell Rei to keep her head down. As the guards fully opened the doors for us and revealed people with cameras, I even saw an interviewer. I was thankful that I was wearing shades. All the cameras started flashing, we walked through them.
Let me rephrase that, we struggled through them, the guards trying their best to keep the people out of our way, and more guards from the stadium came in to help. I couldn’t help but listen to the questions the interviewers were asking Rin.
“Are they you’re family?”
“Why did you keep your wife and child in secret”
“How long have you two been together”
“Are you from Japan?”
“Are you Itoshi Rin’s wife?”
“How long have you two been married?”
I shook my head at their questions, Daisuke opened the door of the car for me. I went inside and Rin followed behind me.
“You good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine”
“Can I take this off now?” Rei said I told her that she could so Rin helped her take the hat off her along with the shades. I gave it back to Daisuke who sat in the front seat.
“To Milos please” The chauffeur nodded and drove off. We were in a black van, the one that famous people would ride on, and there were two guards seated behind us. I put my bag down and pulled out my phone. There were over 20+ messages on my phone from Osamu, a few from atsumu, my mom, my dad, my cousins, my friends from work, and the list just goes on. I clocked on to Osamu's message.
“Dude, WTF”
“I didn’t know that you were gonna sit in the front row, oh shit did Rin see you??”
“HOLY SHIT JUST SaW A PIC OF RIN TALKING TO YOU WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING”
“BRO GOOD THING THEY WON BUT WTF YOU'RE ON THE NEWS, AND REI IS TOO”
“DUDE I JUST SAW A PIC FROM TWITTER, WITH REI HUGGING RIN BY THE WAIST DUDE, DID YOU TELL HER ALREADY?????!!?!?!??! ANSWER MY CALLS “
“WOW HI MS. FAMOUS, LOOK AT YOU, BEING THE “WIFE” OF A FOOTBALL STAR.”
“JUST READ AN ARTICLE SAYING THAT RIN HIS HIS FAMILY FROM THE FAMILY AHHAHAAHAHHAHAH, I CAN’T”
I narrowed my eyes at the last few messages, but he did send pictures of us in the bleachers with Rei hugging Rin, then the next one was by the paparazzi just now.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, we’re with Rin. We’re just gonna get dinner together”
“DON’T LEAVE ME WITH THAT WTF, TELL ME MORE”
“Tomorrow”
“NO, Y/N DON’T”
I turned off my phone, deciding to answer their messages later.
“Rei are you tired?”
I looked at Rei who was fighting to keep her eyes open, “Yeah, but I want to have dinner together with Rin-san”
“If you’re tired rei you should go to sleep, you shouldn’t force yourself to stay up,” I told her I can tell that she wanted nothing more than to have dinner together with Rin, but it was so late already. 10 pm to be exact.
“But I want to have dinner with you two, together” She pouted while her chin was propped at his shoulder, and she made eye contact with me.
I was about to answer her but Rin beat me to it. “How about we have breakfast together tomorrow? So that you can sleep now, I know you’re tired Rei, I saw jumping in the stands earlier”
It was a sweet gesture, and Rei agreed and dozed off on his dad’s shoulder. I told the chauffeur about our hotel and then Rin offered to carry Rei to our hotel room. I agreed since I was tired too, and I wouldn’t be able to carry Rei on my own.
We arrived at the hotel, but since our arrival was unexpected there weren’t any reporters or cameras. And since it was so late already, the only people in the lobby were the staff. Daisuke and the guards didn’t follow us into the hotel and just stayed in the car. We got in the elevator in silence, but not the awkward kind. Our friendship/relationship was the one that embraced silence.
While Rin carried Rei, following me through the hall of rooms, I stopped in front of our door and swiped the key card in, I opened the door and let Rin enter first. I opened the lights and had him lay Rei down on one of the beds. I took off my shoes, and kind of winced since my foot was in a slightly uncomfortable position. I took off everything that I had in my head; my shades, mask, and scarf in my head. I put them all at the little dining table, that turned into a vanity table earlier this afternoon. Then I went to my bed and just let myself crash, not minding Rin who was watching me. I curled into the softness of the bed.
I felt the bed dip beside me, I turned and saw Rin laying beside me, he was facing the ceiling while I just admired his side profile.
“I looked for you everywhere you know? I first went to your house, but then I found out that you guys moved again, and I couldn’t contact you, I tried to look for you online but nothing helped. I gave after, I think 2 years. But I always look out for you in crowds you know, hoping that someday you’ll be watching my matches. And now it came true”
“I’m glad you think that way, I honestly thought that you would resent me or something.”
“Why?”
“Well just pointing out the obvious, for hiding Rei. Don’t you hate me for it?”
“I don’t hate you for doing what you thought was best. As much as I would’ve wished things would be different, I don’t think I’ll have what I have now if you did tell me. I’ll most likely be a part of a Japanese football club rather than PXG because I would have chosen you first rather than going away for soccer. But I’ll be happier because I’m with you two”
“Really? Do you mean that, or are you just saying that?”
“I mean it” He lay down on his side and was now facing me, he was practically hovering over me at this point. I turned to my side and went close to his chest, he put his arm under my head so I could lay down with his arms around me.
“I want to be a part of Rei’s life from now on, I want to get to know her”
“Ok”
After a few minutes of us laying there, I remembered that Rei was still in her sweaty clothes. So I tried my best to get out of Rin’s arms but he wouldn’t let me.
“Where are you going? I just got you back and you’re already leaving”
My heart pounded at what he said, and my face grew hot, shaking the feeling off. “I need to change Rei’s clothes along with mine. She’ll get sick if I don’t change her clothes”
He thought about it for a few seconds but retreated his arms. I stood up from the bed and went to her suitcase and got her pajamas. Rin was in the bathroom while I changed her clothes, After that I brushed her hair and laid her down in a comfortable position before gathering my stuff and going to the bathroom. Rin opened the door and let me in, I placed my stuff down at the counter as I brushed through my hair. Then I removed my makeup with wipes, Rin was behind me watching me through the mirror, It felt as if 10 years hadn’t passed, it felt like our last meet-up was yesterday. Because I didn’t feel any distance between us, our relationship didn’t change. And I wouldn't have asked for more.
I washed my face in the sink, slightly bending over. After watching my face with water, I straightened up and patted my face dry. As I put the towel down, I felt arms his arms wrap around my waist. His face was resting on my neck, I felt him peck my neck, then he peaked over and made eye contact with me as he kissed my neck. Moving down to my shoulder, and back to my neck.
“I missed you, couldn’t sleep for weeks because I didn’t where you were. I was so worried”
“Sorry for making you worry”
He hummed and continued his thing.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when Rei came. I’m sorry that you had to take care of her on your own” I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck
“It’s ok, it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know”
He didn’t say anything but instead started kissing my jaw, moving toward my face. Until his lips were in front of mine, then we were 16 again, in his room, sharing a bottle of vodka, I remember the music playing in the background, I remember the warm feeling of his body against mine. His lips met mine as my hands automatically went to his hair.
Suddenly remembering where we were, I stopped Rin before I couldn’t. He tried to kiss me again but I stopped him.
“We can’t Rin…”
‘Why?” he looked at me, expecting the worst. His eyes not wavering from mine.
“Rei is just outside, and I have to take a shower. And Rei is just outside Rin, we can’t…”
Rin just sighed and pushed his hair back. “I’ll order us some dinner, I’ll call my manager and say that I’m sleeping here”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, so now go, take a shower”
He left the bathroom without another word.
After my shower, and changing into my pajamas, I dried my hair and did my skincare. I got out of the bathroom and saw Rin, putting out the food he ordered, It smelled delicious. I am on the point of starvation right now, I’ve been wanting to eat something ever since the first half.
I sat down on the chair, while Rin sat down in front of me. We silently eat, I was too busy eating to talk, so Rin did the talking.
“Give me your phone number,” he said as slides his phone in front of me.
“I already have your number, Your manager gave me a card earlier”
“Just making sure, I’m not losing you again”
My heart softened at his statement, so I typed in my number. Suddenly remembering the text unread messages on my phone, I went to my bag and took a look at all of the notifications, I had put my phone on do not disturb earlier so that it wouldn’t ring as much.
20+ new messages from krazy Uncle Osamu
10 new messages from Mom <;3
20+ new messages from Atsumu “piss” miya
5 new messages from Dad <;3
And the list just went on, and I haven’t even seen the number of calls that I got, some were from numbers I don’t even know.
But I did answer my mom's message, she asked whether I told Rin about Rei or not, And I said I did and that he was happy to have Rei as his daughter.
I had told her the truth about who Rei’s father was because Osamu got drunk and he accidentally mentioned Rin being Rei’s dad. At first, they didn't believe it, but I showed them a picture of me and Rin from that night. We had met up in the park that day.
it was a selfie I took of us, Rin and I were at the park, we were on the swing set.
Dad did say that he will find Rin and beat him up for getting me pregnant, and Mom got sad because I hid it from them, She negotiated with me that I should go to Rin and tell him about Rei. But I stopped them, I told them my reason why I didn’t tell him. It took them some time to get on the same page as me, but it worked out in the end.
“...what does Rei like to do?”
Rin looked so shy to ask, I don’t blame him.
“You can ask her tomorrow, I’m sure that she won’t leave out any details. She is a very energetic kid you know, gets excited by the smallest things”
I smiled down at my food as I continued eating.
“I can tell, by her expression that she’s ecstatic because she has a dad now, and she’s even happier to have you as her dad”
“I’m glad that she feels that way”
We finished eating, and while I cleaned up the take-out containers, Rin went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and I followed behind him after cleaning up. He scooted to the side to make room for me in front of the sink.
After brushing our teeth, Ri made his way to the bed, We lay down beside each other. A nostalgic feeling flowed through me. The feeling seemed so obvious, so right.
Sleep soon took over me, and I felt Rin wrap his arms around me as I slept. Not before hearing him mutter the words I’ve been longing to hear.
“I promise that I’ll protect you two from now on And that I’ll never leave you again. Never again”
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‧₊ ♱ 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓
wc: 1.1k. contents: nsfw, somno, dub-con, unhealthy relationships. rin in love is a scary concept
Rin's mouth has been feeling bitter for hours now.
The taste grows even more vile with every time your words ring around his head, whistling like wind between his ears. Shame licks at his spine and clings to him like cold sweat and there's nothing to wash it off. If he hadn't known any better, he'd think it's a sickness - one strong enough to kill him.
He knows you didn't mean harm - not you, his darling pretty thing, his dearest love. Perhaps he really did drive you up the wall a little too much, stepped over the boundaries that were already pretty much nonexistent between you two. You wouldn't give him that look, almost disappointed, if you didn't have a reason. Rin knows it.
I don't wanna see you right now, you had said, a tremble to your shoulders that he couldn't decode. It scared him. Rin operates on instinct and maybe love isn't much different from what happens at the field, after all. He adores you like he plays - raw and primal, and he reads you like he reads his opponents - without any room for error. So when you close the bedroom door behind yourself and he can't tell whether you're about to cry or shaking with anger, it stirs a deeply rooted fright between his ribs.
You wouldn't punish Rin for the downpour of his love and the lengths he'd go for you, even when it's the most common trigger for your fights. It doesn't feel fair to be put in the position of having to teach a grown man how to deal with his feelings, but love means sacrifice, and Rin is worth all of it.
It fills you with dread as you shut the door behind yourself and lock it from the inside, leaving over six foot of tormented love and longing and fear on the other side. With every next deep inhale you realize it's what you deserve: a serene moment. Just you and your inner turmoil, already thinking of an apology to recite tomorrow morning. Knowing that it'll all be fixed in hours time does not make getting into bed alone any easier. The sheets feel cold but the exasperation keeps you warm from the inside as you doze off.
What a surprise it is when you wake up to a sudden moist feeling in the crook of your neck.
It's ridiculously hot and uncomfortable. You squirm, more unconsciously than not, and move to roll over- only to find it impossible, a heavy weight slotted between your legs.
You're so, so sleepy. You don't recognize the dull ache spreading fire up your tummy until you hear it: breathy and pitiful, whines resembling the yelp of a wounded dog.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"
Your skin feels hot where it muffles the sound. Your eyes slowly flutter close, each and every sensation making it feel all the more real and less of a dream.
With blurry vision, you can't see much in the pitch black bedroom. Your other senses don't fail you, though. A grunt and a drop of weight, a stirring heat in your gut - it pulls a confused sound from your throat.
"Rin?"
It's almost hurt, the way you say it. Rin groans and it sounds so loud in your ear, you must be wide awake by now- and as you are, you don't miss the way Rin's cock swells and twitches inside you, a show of excitement upon seeing you awake and coherent.
Suddenly, the room around you feels a little too small. It's cramped where you are caged between your boyfriend's arms, strong like steel when your hands shakily move to ground yourself. Your thighs are sore from where Rin's fitting himself right inbetween, his hips nudging yours in a jarred rhythm. Each thrust grows more forceful than the other. Deliberately and slow, Rin pushes himself home, whimpering pleads into your ear.
"I'll be good. M'sorry. I will, I promise," Your worry is a reflex. He sounds as if he's in pain - had you not been stirred awake so suddenly, you would've realized that he is. Love doesn't come easy to Rin. It feels so natural to love you like this- but a heart this tender is a heavy weight to carry. You feel for him, cradling his face in your hands, weak and gentle as he finds your mouth with his own.
Rin kisses you like his life depends on it. In a way, it does. You're his shoreline and he's been depraved of air for too long. He will be taking this safety you've granted him- selfishly and rough, as if he doesn't know any better. You yelp into the kiss, all teeth and tongue when Rin's fingers dig into the plush of your hips.
"R-Rin," You say his name again. You sound as alarmed as the first time- had he been a better man, it wouldn't make his heart skip a beat and balls pull against his body like it does. "Baby, babe- s'alrigh-"
"I love you- so much. Yeah? I love you. I'm sorry, I really- ugh, really do."
The tremble in his voice is all too familiar. Rin lifts your hips off the mattress, clutches you tight in his grip as he ruts into you. You recognize each breath, every stinging push against the bruised flesh of your cervix. It knocks the breath out of your lungs and forces your eyes to roll back into your head.
The pleasure feels dirty, cloying with bitter confusion and betrayal, sticky with worry. (Your mother always said you're too kind, and it will come for you one day.)
It blurs away the wandering thought of how long have you been asleep? Or, just how much does it arouse him to see you unconscious and limp in his ravenous grasp?
Completion is still nowhere near when Rin reaches his. He whines and whimpers into the crook of your neck as his cock kisses your bruised, tainted insides, painting them white. His lips press apologies and promises to your jaw and by the time they reach your chapped ones, they taste of crystalline salt. You want to wipe it all away and hold him close, but he's rendered you slack instead.
Stuck in your spot, you let the man slip away from your arms. Your throat's dry and vision only now begins to grow sharp, just in time to catch a glimpse of bright turquoise staring down at you. His cheeks are wet, barely gleaming in the poorly lit room. The insides of your thighs feel sticky, too. It's an observation too conscious for your puzzled mind. It's almost claustrophobic, in a way you can't yet describe.
"I really do love you," Rin whispers.
It's a promise and a curse all the same.
© 2023 grinmjows. do not copy, repost or mention my works on other social media.
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| Itoshi Sae × [F!Idol!Reader]
| Ultimate Idol
| so much fluffiness, sae being a supportive boyfie, reader is an idol, sae is captivated, yoasobi songs are the freaking best, usage of Hoshino Ai's song, no dialogue, sae's point of view, a little bit of angst, a curse word at the end, he loves you so much, he appreciates you sm, not proofread
| Summary: You finally perform at the legendary dome where only chosen idols can perform. You are the peak of your dream and your boyfriend will never let the moment pass without personally seeing it.
| Blue Lock Masterlist
| Main Masterlist
That emotion melts all hearts,
The flickering colors of the lights, the loud music ringing on the speakers, the constant screaming of fans, the sound of your sweet voice, and the sight of your happy, victorious, and shining figure. Sae didn't know what made him froze on spot, but he did know that he's glad he came.
He's on a VIP spot, having full view of you and away from the sweaty and pushy people, just like he requested. While he was still annoyed by the all the screaming, he couldn't bring himself to care too much, because all he can think about is how proud he is for you.
The constant screaming and singing of your fans are the symbols of your hardwork. A sign that you have made it, a sign that your dream came true, your hardwork paid off. Despite his ears and eyes almost giving up from the loud sounds and bright lights, he stays and stares at your dancing and singing figure on stage.
all eyes on you,
He stays because this is the aftermath of all your sacrifices, because this is the fruit of your exhaustion, because this is your dream, because despite hating crowds and too much noises, this is your performance.
He stays because it's you.
Your eyes are sparkling, you were tearing up, he notices. Because he knows you well, too much. He's seen each and every sacrifice you made to get on the stsge you're in right now. He's seen every fall, injury, exhaustion, lack of sleep, and he's taken care of you every single time.
'Cause you are perfect,
He's seen your darkest times and was with you in every moment. He's seen your deepest and biggest insecurities cutting deep through you in the process of becoming the idol you wanted to be and assured you every single time. He reminds himself to make sure you eat because you forget sometimes. He makes sure to tell you to rest and sleep. He never fails to make sure you're safe and happy so you don't drown in the midst of chasing your dream.
Because those are the things you did for him before.
The Most Ultimate Idol,
He remembers how you kept him from breaking during his time in Spain. He remembers how you never gave up on him despite his aloofness. He remembers how you made sure to remind him to eat and rest. He remembers how you kept asking about his day and complain about yours. He remembers how you endured his short responses. He remembers how you understood him. He remembers how you kept him alive in Spain when he was so far from everyone he knows, despite only interacting online.
When he came back to japan and decided to stay, becoming interested in Blue Lock and maybe because he wanted to finally see you too, he thinks it's time to talk to you in person. Only a few days later and he decides to ask you to be his girlfriend. Sae's always been so confident, and he's confident that he wants you by his side. He remembers how you told him you were training to be an idol and watches you practice, despite your protests. Seeing you struggle reminded him of himself, and he decides it's time to let you experience what you made him feel before.
Unrivalled, will not appear again,
Sae knows he's not good with flattery words, or just words in general, so he makes sure he shows everything through his actions. Kissing your hand, holding your waist, locking your fingers together, cuddling, taking care of you, making you feel appreciated.
He watched your journey to flourishing into a great idol, seeing you grow and shine even more made him happy because this was how you made him feel. He wanted to show you how you saved him from having a total breakdown without any support in another country. He wanted to show you how great it is to have your dream come true and have someone beside through it all.
It's the brightest star reborn,
To him, you are the moon, sun, and the stars themselves, shining and giving life to everything around you. The raw emotions you let out through singing and dancing are living up everything. The unwavering determination in your eyes, the grace of your steps, the perfected control of your voice, and the emotions that come with every sound sound and move you make, show that you are indeed the greatest idol.
Sae knows that, the billions of people watching the live tell him so. He knows what it feels like to achieve your dream and have the people around you to recognize you. The confidence in your eyes hypes him up.
Itoshi Sae's girlfriend is a legendary idol, and he's fucking proud of it.
Yes, Indeed
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GOT ME KICKING MY FEET AND SHI
─ ✰ HEARTBREAK ANNIVERSARY.
─ SYNOPSIS: rin misses you. he wonders if breaking up with you was really worth it.
─ WARNINGS: 1.2k words!! angst, regret, pining, exes, perhaps ooc rin, probably bland but!! it’s here
─ AUTHOR’S NOTE: RIN GIRLIES HERE IS UR MAN <3
— rin’s eyes anxiously dart around, scanning for your face somewhere in the stands, an unconscious habit he hasn’t been able to drop. the roar of thousands of fans cheering him on, yet strangely, the absence of satisfaction lingers within him.
it’s weird, even he knows it, that he still hopes his ex comes to his soccer matches. he’s fully aware that you are unlikely to be present, but even so, a lingering sliver of hope refuses to fade. and it’s strange, because he was the one who broke up with you to pursue his career, he was the one who broke your heart, he was the one who'd made you cry... so why does his heart feel so damn empty when you aren’t there to watch him soar?
fuck. this isn’t the time to be thinking about this. so with an annoyed huff, he pushes his feelings aside, and plays ball.
as the final whistle blows, everybody in the stadium erupts into cheers, confetti cascading down to honor the exceptional achievement. japan won nationals, rin scoring the winning goal by himself, marking tokyo's historic first-ever victory. his eyes widen with disbelief, puffing from the exertion of the intense match. the weight of the moment settles on his shoulders, and he couldn't help but look up, expecting to see the familiar sight of your proud face in the crowd, your pretty eyes catching onto his— oh. that’s right. you won’t be there anymore.
his smile falls the slightest bit. the sensation of pride and joy seems to snap almost instantly, and he doesn’t know why. this… this was his goal, his dream. the thing he wanted most in the world, in the palm of his hand. and really, he should be more happy, but he can’t seem to shake off the sinking feeling in his stomach.
his radiant smile begins to falter, a subtle shift in the atmosphere as the waves of pride and joy that had enveloped him seemed to snap abruptly. this achievement, this culmination of his dreams and aspirations, now lays within his grasp. one would expect satisfaction and happiness to course through his veins, yet an inexplicable unease settled in the pit of his stomach, casting a shadow over the moment. ignoring all his teammates’ cheers and screams, he speeds towards the locker room to get changed and go home.
his house really isn’t any better. (he questions if it’s really ‘home’ without you.) the concept of "home" now feels strangely foreign, a place that should be comforting but is instead tinged with an undeniable sense of absence. it's as if the essence of warmth has been drained away.
the once-inviting space lacks the comforting sprawl of your giant stuffed animals overtaking the bed or the mountains of your clothes taking over the closet. a peculiar emptiness lingers, a void that cannot be filled by mere physical belongings. the silence within the familiar walls is unsettling.
rin finds it quite odd not feeling your arms wrap around his torso, giving him a peck as you asked about his day. it’s strangely… quiet as well. there’s no you singing along to some laufey song completely out of tune, no alarm going off because you burnt the takoyaki, or the constant hum of the tv playing in the background. it's a quietude that, rather than offering solace, only accentuates the hollowness of the space. he’s not so sure he likes it.
he stares at the shiny, gold metal he had received. his mind, despite receiving a sparkly, golden-hued award— an emblem of achievement— stubbornly fixates his thoughts of you. he finds himself gazing at the metallic surface, a token of success that pales in comparison to the vibrant memories of your presence. he recalls your playful curiosity, imagining how you would have marveled at the gold medal, playfully testing its authenticity with an endearing chomp. he misses it. he misses you.
and he wonders what you might've changed his contact to. stupid ex, maybe? loser bitch? he deserves it. but he can't help but wonder, is there a possibility he'd still be 'rinnie', or 'my love' with a heart that never made sense because it looked more like a cheeky smile to him? (he wishes he had treasured you just a little bit more.) is he blocked? or is he just another number in your phone now? do you reread the messages he sent to you?
because he does. your contact name is still ‘loml’. he has every single photo you sent saved. he stares at the old "i love you" texts night after night after night. it's pathetic, really, but his heart aches for those moments when you'd scold him for overexerting himself, when you'd sleepily wake up at two am just to make him a hot meal when he came back late, when you'd stick those tacky hello kitty bandaids on top of the scrapes he got from soccer. he misses your good luck kisses, the ones where you'd pull his face down to your height and let out a big dramatic 'mwah!' in front of all his teammates— where he'd grumble and complain but his cheeks were undeniably a bright rosy red.
but above all, the vivid memory etched in his mind is the pain he inflicted upon you. your voice trembling, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as you desperately clung to his arm, seeking an explanation. "what do you mean, rin? i don't understand. did i do something wrong?" your words quivered, on the verge of shattering, yet he callously shrugged you off, meeting your tear-filled eyes with a chilling glare.
"you're just a distraction. sorry, but soccer's more important to me."
he recalls the way your hand slowly fell away, the slow nod of comprehension, and the sight of your trembling bottom lip as you fought valiantly not to crumble. he was stupid. so, so stupid. he wishes he had pulled you into the shelter of his arms, confessed his foolishness, and reassured you that he didn't mean those hurtful words. or better yet, he wishes he didn’t say them at all. and he wants to ask, have you moved on? do you find your heart fluttering for somebody else, threatening to beat out of your chest like you once made him feel?
to be loved is to be seen. you saw him beyond the carefully constructed mask, piercing through the layers of the egoist the world molded him to be. in your gaze, he wasn't just the world's best striker or sae's little brother; he was itoshi rin. and that was enough for you.
oh, how utterly foolish he was to let you go. are you still as pretty as ever? (of course you are. you’ve never not looked absolutely stunning to him.) do you still smile as brightly as you once shone, his precious shooting star? he hopes you still find a reason to break into a grin every day.
but the question that is constantly on his mind like a broken record player. if he were to grovel and beg, surrendering his pride on his hands and knees, would you accept him back?
for a moment, he considers it. calling you. his finger hovers tentatively over the ‘audio’ call button, mere millimeters away from hearing you again. rin so desperately wishes to hear your sweet voice, see your angelic face, to be able to bask in your presence once more. would you be shocked? happy shocked, or enraged shocked, or maybe you wouldn’t pick up at all. would he go to voicemail? if he left one, would you listen? do you miss him as much as he has missed you all this time? (it’s been a month, but to him it felt like years.) yet, as the gravity of his past actions weighs heavily in his heart, an inexplicable hesitation ensnares him. you… don’t deserve this. you’re healing right now, he’s already chosen himself once, it would be utterly selfish to do it again. with a heavy exhale, he gingerly sets down his phone, fixing his gaze upon the ceiling above.
and suddenly, soccer doesn't feel like his passion after all. he wonders if it was really you.
his bed feels a little bit too cold now.
© KAEFFEINEE 2022-2024. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.
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✰ Submissive Itoshi Sae drabble
Okay y’all have no idea how down bad I am for the idea of sub!sae (like mentally ill) like y’all CANNOT tell me that Sae wouldn’t have many freaky kinks. Like, degradation, yes. Praise, cool. Choking? Hell yes. Just the idea of being used and filled up is amazing to him, though he can get riled up rather quickly. (Though, his body betrays all signs of actual anger)
✿ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: ok so i either like heavily submissive men or heavily dominant men, help- so take this thirsty drabble of sub sae! it may flop but idc this has to be up here bc why else does sae have ALLAT ass 🙂 anyways shout out to @theshinazugawaslut for being my best friend and encouraging me to write more drabbles and thirsts, love you go check them out! (forgive any typos or grammatical errors)
★ Sae and his many kinks
GENDER NEUTRAL READER! no gendered terms. You can refer to “cock” as “strap” if you are more comfy with fem terms but this is a NON GENDERED term drabble :)
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓: degradation kink, choking kink, face-to-face sex, hair-pulling, rough sex, consensual dick slapping, passing/blacking out, sae being fucked delirious to the point he loses his senses bc that’s HOT
“Uhn—” Sae groaned as you slowly roll your hips, creating a torturous yet utterly delicious pace for the both of you. The friction was almost enough to fold you in half, but you held on longer. After all, brat-taming Sae was your favourite thing amongst them all.
“Faster,” he gasps, pulling at your back to encourage you. You won’t budge, though the effort is adorable. “Faster. God, please, go faster.”
He sounds demanding—the deep grumble of his voice, the irritation was just so sweet.
If you weren’t already turned on, you definitely were now.
Pitifully, Sae wraps his legs around your waist, and begins to seek any possible form of greater pleasure. He begins to greedily grind his ass back onto your cock, gasping when he felt it graze his prostate. You watch as he maneuvers your body, nails scratching deep into your skin as he throws his head back each time he picks up the pace.
Watching his whine and moan—watching him act like this makes something deep within your guts itch—by God, you wish to grab him by his pretty throat and drive into him till he fucking breaks. Come so deep into him that it shows in his belly.
(The sight before you is truly lewd; arousing.)
A long, slow groan escapes your lips as Sae takes a long, deep drag across your cock. You watch with content, practically salivating, as he holds you; his sweet, warm breath panning over your face.
His scent deep within your nostrils—something you will forever know, and the sight: the way his eyes roll back the faster he grinds his hips onto your cock—watching him take your large cock—ah, it’s all just so exhilarating.
Clouds of euphoria circle around your head as you slowly trace up Sae’s muscled, pale legs. You grab at the flesh, occasionally nipping at his skin. Smiling to yourself at the soft sighs you get in return.
“You know...” Sae begins, reaching his hand over to turn your face.
You feel yourself blink at that; disoriented.
(Everything he does is so hot to you, a guilty-pleasure of yours, perhaps. His demanding nature, his odd dominance even though he has your cock inches up his ass—it’s just so beautiful in its own way.)
Sae snaps you out of your obscene thoughts by pulling you down towards him. His lips now right next to your ear, he slowly breathes against your ear—earning him a shiver from you. Sae chuckles, then he speaks, a peculiar tone that you have never heard from him before. He speaks lowly, cruelly, perhaps because what he says makes your guts twist.
He gasps and whimpers amongst some words, but that doesn’t take away the weight of them. “Seems like you were the one who truly wanted to get fucked, hmm? I didn’t come here to do all the work by myself.”
You fall silent, you watch him as he moves away from you. Challenging, arrogant smile on his face and all. Though you try and make a show of dominance, you ultimately fail as you smile. You’ll let him revel in his oh-so-greatness for now. He’ll soon learn.
“Oh, great, Sae,” you begin. You watch him, relaxed—watching as he frowns from your rude answer but it is an amusing moment as you quite literally felt his dick twitch against your very stomach... how cute.
“Fuck, quit the tough boy act, hmm?” you moan when he fucks himself onto your cock suddenly hard, a sudden change in pace.
Sae shoots you a challenging look, though he doesn’t say anything to you. A look you understand well—he isn’t angry at you, he’s intrigued. He wishes to know what you mean, and what you may offer him.
“Come on, baby, I know you.” You laugh against him, and you feel the way he groans at that. He likes that.
“Hmm?”
Your laugh reverberates against his skin, and you lean further down, towards his ear. Just like he did to you—except—he’s shaking with excitement, he loves being treated like this. Nothing more than a cheap slut. Who knew that Sae, the Sae, usually so cold and bitter, would love being bent in-half like some brazen whore?
With all that in mind, you slowly kiss his temple and sigh contently with the moan you receive in return.
Your hands finally rest on his hips, abruptly stopping his rutting. “You want me to fuck you, hmm? Baby, just say it.”
Sae looks at you, dumbfounded. He raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.
“Let me move,” he says, huffing when your hands put him to a stop again.
“Oh... Sae...” you chuckle. “It’s just a couple words, put em together and bah... you shall have the best night of your life.”
You sigh when you watch his eyes narrow at you, fondly watching as you see him frown in annoyance and you hiss when his nails dig into your back; a punishment. How pathetic.
“Just say it, please?” You sound even more pathetic, begging Sae to beg you to fuck him. But, you aren’t as stubborn as him at least, but you do intend to fully keep your promise.
Sae growls with irritation— with desire? You couldn’t tell. But you both know, by the way he trembles beneath you, scratching deep wounds across your back—he desires something: you.
He watches you a while longer, tightening his muscled legs around you. You watch with curiosity as his eyes appear to become glassy... is he crying? Was Sae actually crying?
You choke out a surprised laugh, then push yourself back to take his nipple into your mouth. You tease him, licking slowly across his chest area; starting from the bud to his collar bone. You enjoy the sighs and gasps you get in return, especially when your cock twitches inside his tight hole.
“Come on, baby,” you practically coo at him, lifting your face up from his chest. “Just ask.”
Sae bites his bottom lip, rolling it in-between his teeth before he gives you a pleading look. “Just—just—please, just...”
“Just, what?” You grin deviously, chuckling with the rough scratch you receive in return.
“Fuck you—”
“I think you mean something else, but—”
“—F-fine.. then just... j-just fuck me.”
You pull yourself up, taking a deep sigh. You grin slyly at him, before you whisper. You whisper so quietly that even you almost didn’t hear yourself, “As you wish.”
You grip Sae’s hips, rough, fucking him onto your cock. You revel in the scream you get in return, and as you set an unforgiving and fast pace, a chorus of moans and whimpers resound in the room.
You thrust relentlessly, vicious and perhaps even brutal. You watch as Sae throws his head back, his legs shaking, quivering as they try and keep hold of you.
“Oh, God—fuck, f-fuck!”
“Like it, Sae?” you drawl out, panting between each word.
“N-no—yes, yes, I- just— mmm!”
You cut him off by slamming right into his prostate, causing him to fall limp into your arms. You take this opportunity to grab his weak legs and maneuver them onto your shoulders. You grab at the flesh, pushing his legs onto his chest. A more difficult position.
Sae looks at you through his legs, dumbfounded. Though his confusion lasts only a few seconds as you continue to thrust into him, each thrust striking his prostate in that sweet way he craves.
You groan as you feel Sae’s warm hole convulse around you, followed by being dragged down by Sae for a deep, feverish kiss. Sae’s tongue fucks into your mouth, licking quick, small strokes against your own tongue. You smile against his lips, moaning deeply into his mouth as you follow him, just as feverishly.
Sae pulls back for breath, and just as you go into kiss him, he places his hands on your chest to stop him.
This time, you look at him puzzled. Your thrusts slow down, and suddenly you realise the amount of sweat running down your forehead.
Just as you begin to pick up the pace again, Sae tightens his legs around your head, smiling at you devilishly. You sigh, as you raise an eyebrow.
Sae flutters his eyelashes, wet from unshed tears. He slowly goes to grab at your hand, pulling it away from his leg. You watch him, confused. Sae gulps slowly, gently pulling your hand closer to his neck—you gasp. Perhaps that was a dramatic reaction as you only get a fond laugh from Sae in return.
Sae intertwines his fingers with yours, placing your hand around his neck. “Here...”
“What?”
He gives you a teasing look, a look that made your insides flip. How you enjoy that look of dominance—even after all this bitching and being reduced to a moaning mess, he still has the upper hand on you.
Just the thought of having dominance, control over Sae is driving you insane. And if he asks you what truly think he is, then for once, maybe you can shut him down. (No matter how hot or attractive you think it is).
“Hold me.”
You understand quickly what he means, and your fingers tighten around his throat, palm crushing his jugular as you spit out, “Whore.”
He lets out an elicit moan and his eyes roll back to the back of his skull. Fingers rake down through the soft skin of your back until the sensation of blood trickling down your back begins. Even then, Sae does not stop.
His body spasms around your cock. Fingers tangling into your hair, and pulling as you drag your cock further into him, then pulling out just to ram back into his. You bask in the strangled cries, leaving his purple throat.
Momentarily, you let go of Sae’s throat and he takes a deep breath, sputtering.
Sae whines as you suddenly pull out him, and then yelps as you flip him over into a painful face down-ass up position. Your hand pressing down on his head until he gasps, his breathing ragged as he drools over the pillows that barely allows him breath.
“You f-fucking bitch, taking my dick like a brazen whore. You spread your legs like this for anyone?"
Sae struggles beneath you, scratching at your hands for breath. You fuck him, hard, fast—your pace never wavering. You hit his prostate with each thrust, laughing when you watch his pathetically slap your hands—trying to pull them off.
You do as he wishes, you pull his face off the pillows by his hair. But, just when Sae coughs for air, you continue to aggressively pull his head back until you force him to sit on his two knees.
You let go of his hair and grope at his chest, pulling roughly at the sensitive skin. You rub his chest, smirking against Sae’s face when you feel his hands grabbing at yours, helping you guide them across his pretty body.
You whisper hotly against him, seeing the way his dick twitches and throbs from your words. “Sae, if I knew you were like this, I wouldn’t have waited this long to fuck you like this, hmm?”
You slowly move your hands down his abdomen, moving down to his aching cock. You take it into your hand, giving it a gentle stroke. Sae immediately folds at the sudden touch, and you, you have no remorse. You grab onto his throat firmly, practically throwing him back so he is straight.
You stroke his cock, slowly at first—then you go faster. Pumping roughly and you relish in the moans you get in return. You watch Sae’s chest rise and fall, as he pants and exhales roughly.
“Oh, God...”
“Hmm?” You reply, absentmindedly.
Sae keens and shakes in your hold, and desperately grabs onto your hand that is still placed on his throat: a threat.
“I’m g-gonna c-come, I- mmmnn!”
You cut him off by slapping his cock—perhaps it was a terrible thing to do, but the way his back arches and the moan that teared out of his mouth says otherwise. You do it once more, and Sae reaches up to grab your hair, pulling it back aggressively. Your head almost felt like it had snapped of your shoulders.
You’re in shock, only for a few moments before you bring your arm to wrap your arm around his neck, locking him in place, crushing his throat yet again. You watch as Sae pathetically squirms in your arms, clawing at your arms.
You rock back and forth, your cock pounding into him as you do so. As you move, you whisper insults and praise againt his ear, teeth hot with lust and heavy arousal. You feel his tight walls convulse around your dick; like you’re being pulled in.
“Look at you,” you sneer, “I’m so happy right now, you have no idea.”
You push your mouth further into Sae’s face, licking his ear. “You can’t even pretend to not like this... hmm? You like being treated like a slut, some day-today whore, don’t you?”
Sae shivers against you, mouth open, trying to breathe in any ways possible. You loosen your grip around his throat, but your arms still is there... just in case.
“In that case, come for me baby. Hmm, come?” you slap his cock again, jolting Sae awake.
You grab his cock again, pumping feverishly. You stroke it up, then down, and doing it all over again. You watch as Sae slowly becomes to become undone, and with each thrust, each limb of his goes weak.
“I-I... I’m going to...”
With one last thrust, you groan deeply into his ear and you both share an orgasm that crashes over you like waves. Your hips stutter, your thrusts slowing down until they come to a sudden halt.
You laugh, against his ear. You let go of his throat, moving down to rub small, comforting touches against his belly. “Oh Sae, that was amazing... God I love you.”
You kiss his temple slowly, then look at him. Your blood runs cold, did Sae... die?
“Sae? Sae?!” you shout, pulling your cock out of him to turn him around. You scramble to check his pulse and... it’s beating. Thank God.
You take a sigh of release and then chuckle at the moment. You panic for no reason, you must have fucked him too hard and made him black out.
You’ll just have to tell Sae how much you love him in the morning, you suppose. Until then, you guess having a lie-down seems nice. All that work just to come once, huh?
But you promised a good night for Sae, and a good night it truly was... for the both of you.
© 2024, NAVIAMIN
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so what if itoshi rin happens to stop by a cafe during a downpour, expecting it to be just another dingy cafe in the basement with a drink he doesn't even enjoy. fully prepared to book it out the moment the rain stops, rin doesn't pay attention at first to the person who goes up to the stage and sits, carrying a guitar.
but then, he hears your voice at the first pluck of string and he may have fallen in love a bit at the first melody.
of course, it doesn't hit him immediately at first. it begins with him sitting in silence until you finish the last song. then it's him visiting every time he could for two weeks straight. then it's him remembering that you play every wednesday and weekend, noon and evening. then it's you recognizing him after one show and then it's him learning your name as you do his.
and if his team and big brother wonder why he grows calmer and plays many untitled recordings—given by you, made by you—he will probably punch them out of panic. but, at least he owes them for making him realize that it's a crush, actually.
(or, rin falls in love with you, your song, and more.)
#1
"...that's...you like someone...?" isagi speaks as if he is an incarnation of some demented fish. the moron even gapes like one.
rin tries his best not to reflexively throw the water bottle at hand. he would, if it isn't for a series of loud "the fuck"s and "no way"s that resound through the locker room. there is also a "bitch pay up! rinrin is in love, see?!" that suspiciously sounds like the blonde roach's voice, but honestly rin's biggest concern is his brother—who freezes like a statue and goes wide-eyed with a grace of a dying clam.
from the corner of his eyes, sae truly looks like he gets a heart attack and turns out rin still loves him enough to worry. but if the hunch that says that shitty brother is considering either giving pieces of advice or bees-and-birds talk there and then is right—rin is murdering him along with hiori yo who looks way too amused for his own good.
in the end, rin does end up throwing that bottle to isagi's face. rin revels in his pained squawk.
"i don't!" rin shouts, ignoring the creeping heat on his cheeks. for some reason he feels like he is lying but for now, he better socks sae in the face because that motherfucker looks like he is ready to speak.
#2
you sit on the rough surface of the cement stairs. as you take your guitar out of its case, a train of thought walks through your mind. a few months ago, the thought of having someone to sit here with you, enjoying the sunset while you play is a bit too farfetched.
but then rin—the guy who keeps appearing at the cafe every time you play, the guy who is cool, the good-looking guy, the guy who always listens every time you speak or play—just enters your life.
rin sits one step below your feet and looks at you so attentively that it makes you feel special. as you adjust the instrument in your hand, you wonder if it's wrong for you to fall simply because of that.
it probably is—a part of you say. but, you know that part too was the one who made you doubt yourself weeks ago, before rin shuts it up with a simple admittance of his preference to your songs.
so, like a fool, you smile—lovesick, too honest, too obviously, "hey, have i ever played a love song for you?"
rin hums, filling in the silence as he seems to try to remember something. shifting his weight to lean on his elbow, he offers you a confident answer, "few times, in the cafe."
"but never in our solo shows, right?" you place your fingers on the strings. the word 'our' comfortably resting in your sentence.
you notice how rin's eyes soften and never have you ever wished that you didn't read things wrongly this much. "yeah," rin says, the orange of the sunset decorating his face in a way that makes you realize how pretty aquamarine suits him.
"then," you hope you will have courage, one day. "that shall be our song today."
notes: this hellsite ate this so out of spite i remade everything. also out of love because rinnie is babey. but yeah—rin who falls in love with musician you. the thought of a grumpy guy who listens to acoustic ballad played by his favorite person and cooking down immediately is cute to me. so here you have it, kinda post canon, kinda no plot just coming of age vibe kinda slice of life vibe. plus the thought of chance meeting in a cafe stage is cute. yeah i just think this idea is cute and i got bored in the train. this thing is a few weeks old actually, but. yeah. anyway another blurbs for now ❤ maybe i really should make masterlist for these stuffs 🐒 after the trip myb. but yeah, honestly rin feels soft for me since long ago. esp on the inside. and the thoughts of him getting "special" "only for him" stuffs feels good after all the "sae replacement" stuffs he went thru in canon. i think he is the type who will make you feel special because he really is all in for you. okay yeah my head kinda dizzy maybe i will add something more later. shout out to ms. lau/fey and mbak yu/ra yuni/ta for the songs that play in my head, it makes it better.
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sae is bad with timezones.
whenever he goes on a trip because of football he always forgets he’s not in your timezone.
it’s why you’ve woken up in the middle of the night to your phone ringing right next to your pillow, his name lighting up the screen.
“hey.” his voice is almost enough to make you smile. (almost. you’re still too sleepy.)
you stifle a yawn, “hi.”
“hi.” you can practically feel his smile.
a sleepy huff of laughter slips past your lips, “you already said that.”
“i know,” he sounds a little breathless, you note, “i just like greeting you.”
a smile blooms on your lips when he says that, your heart skipping a beat. you hide your face in your pillow, shying away as if he could see you.
you turn your attention to your phone when you faintly hear him plop down on his bed with a groan.
“you would not believe the morning i had,” he huffs.
“was it bad?” you bite back a yawn, stretching out on the bed.
you frown when he lets out a deep sigh, “it was worse than i would’ve liked.”
“i couldn’t get coffee because there was this huge line at this café i like, so i barely had any energy to do anything,” a fond smile tugs at your lips when you picture the pout on his lips.
your brows knit in confusion. “i thought your manager got your coffee?”
a dry laugh leaves sae’s lips, “here’s where my morning gets worse. he was busy because i had an interview.”
your face scrunches up, a soft laugh leaving your lips. “yikes.”
“yikes.” sae echoes back, laughing. “i think you can imagine how that went.”
“yeah,” you sleepily laugh, “i feel bad for the poor people who had to interview you.”
“hey!” a drowsy smile tugs at your lips when you hear the mock offense in his voice.
you yawn, “so your interview just ended?”
he hums, “i came back to the hotel as soon as i could.”
“really?” your eyes start to droop.
“yeah,” you can hear his smile, “i wanted to hear your voice.”
your face flushes. you reach out to grab sae’s pillow and hold it close to your chest, hiding your face in it.
“shut up,” you mutter. your eyes flutter closed, a yawn slips past your lips.
he laughs, “how was your morning?”
sae frowns when you don’t reply.
your eyes snap open when he calls out your name. “yeah?”
there’s a pause. you frown in sleepy confusion, “sae?”
“i woke you up again, didn’t i?” his voice comes out soft, almost as if he feels guilty for having woken you up again.
(again, because he’s not used to not being in your timezone. again, because the fact that you’re miles away and not a train ride away always slips his mind.)
you sheepishly laugh, “you did.”
your heart swells with fondness when you picture his face flushing in embarrassment.
“sorry,” he awkwardly coughs.
“it’s fine.” you whisper, a teasing smile lifting the corners of your lips, “i wanted to hear your voice, too.”
you bury your face into sae’s pillow, laughing when sae mutters a soft and very bashful, ‘shut up.’
a yawn slips past your lips and you nuzzle into sae’s pillow, a small smile on your face when you note his lingering scent.
“you should go to sleep.”
you let out a confused hum, tilting your head to the side.
a huff of amused laughter leaves sae’s lips, “you should go back to sleep.”
“i don’t wanna leave you alone, though.” you pout.
“and i don’t wanna keep you up any longer,” he hums.
you frown, yawning. “i can stay up a little longer.”
“i’d rather you didn’t,” he sounds reluctant. like he doesn’t want you to leave. (you really wish he was next to you right now.)
“i miss you.” your voice is laced with longing, sae’s pillow scrunched up against your frame as you clutch it tighter to you in a poor attempt to pretend it’s actually sae.
“i miss you too.” sae’s voice is barely above a whisper. you wonder if he’s also holding on to a pillow, pretending it’s you.
“i wish you’d come home now.” you mumble, eyes drooping as sleep tightens its grip around you.
you can feel sae’s smile through the phone, “me too.”
there’s a small pause before sae speaks again. “seriously, though, go sleep.”
you frown, “are you kicking me out already?”
“i don’t want to,” he laughs, “but i’d hate for you to not get enough sleep because of me.”
“you’ll miss me, though,” you pout. (he doesn’t say it, but you’re right. he will miss you. even if he knows you’ll call him as soon as you wake up.)
“go sleep,” he insists, “i’ll be here when you wake up.”
you try to stifle yawn, “can you stay until i fall asleep?”
your eyes flutter closed, a content smile on your lips when you hear him hum.
“i can even stay until you wake up again.” he teases.
“would you really?” your voice is laced with sleep.
you don’t see it, but there’s a big grin on sae’s face. “yeah.”
so he does.
(and he doesn’t mention it, but he’ll stay with you for as long as you let him.)
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SEVEN DAYS A WEEK !!
info; you're a prostitute that works for a brothel, and here are your clients for today's week . . . ♡
featuring. ISAGI YOICHI, ITOSHI SAE, ITOSHI RIN
cw. Protected sex, prostitution/brothels blablabla, sae's butt fetish. Vaginal penetration, spanking, riding, doggy, oral, degration, praise, dumbification, yes rhe condom appears out of nowhere, lmk if i missed anyyy !!
1/2 . DAYS ; MONDAY - WEDNESDAY
ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+
what is it like being a prostitute? terrible. Most times, your customers would often be shabby old men who were divorced, they would mostly also have a disgusting aura that pissed you off, they seemed desperate to have sex with a cute looking woman who was younger than years, and by years, i mean many, many, years. While foreigners on the other hand, they were rather… unexpected. It's either they're really wild, or just super shy and kind. They were rare species nowadays, you hardly ever have foreigners to entertain. However, you knew they would also pay alot. Therefore, you would be in your best attitude whenever there would be foreign people. Adjusting to how they want you to be. Aside from all the pleasurable feelings some people describe your job as, you have always despised this job, but what was your choice anyway? You needed the money. Selling your own body just to have a meal on your stomach was.. well, it was something.
So, here's your week of entertaining clients. ♡
it was the usual, annoying and frustrating MONDAY. it was hard to get by on the first day of the week. You thought about the pain of going again to that shabby place, and having to spread your legs again for money. So, when you went in, you quickly got in the room where you were assigned, and it came to your surprise when a familiar boy's eyes landed on you. He was the customer for today.. but he looked oddly familiar to you. What was it? After observing him very very very carefully, you managed to figure out who the boy was. ISAGI YOICHI, Japan's diamond in the rough, current rising striker. Once that came in your brain to register, you blinked a few times. What was he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be focusing on his soccer career? Why is he-
"I want this one, madame. Can I have her?" Your thoughts were interrupted when he spoke, and you looked up, seeing him pointing at you. Your shoulders jolted slightly, as you looked over at the other girls who also worked as a prostitute- but they all seemed to be giggling and whispering on how you were lucky.
Lucky? In what way? To have sex with Japan's current rising striker? No, no matter how attractive nor popular he was, you still despised whoever came in this place. You thought Isagi would be the same like those foreigner athletes, objectifying women.
But oh, you were so so wrong.
"Th-that's it- haah..! Y're so- ngh, good, yoichi!" You moaned out, as Isagi's cock hit a spot in your warm pussy. You never expected that a guy like him could have such a massive length that basically could make a fool out of you.
It all started out when you took him in a private room for you two, he explained that he thought he could use some time to unwind after having his thoughts in a complete mess. He told you, you could lower your guard down around him, he wouldn't have sex with you right away. You were confused when he said that, why was he treating you this way? Wasn't he supposed to get all hard and needy? His behavior was unusual to you, maybe, he was thinking of you as a 'girlfriend.' You never expected him to be that type of customer, the type who gets too carried away and thinks that you two have genuine feelings for eachother. Despite that, you disregarded his words and gave him sweet nothings, murmuring sugar coated words to him and 'comforting' him with a hint of.. lust. You just wanted to get the job done, but never did you expect he would be a gentleman. Despite how hard you tried, grinding your clothed pussy on him, he would only get shy and look away, you had to tell him that it was okay, and that that's what you're working for. You had to remind him that you're a prostitute.
But regardless of all that, Yoichi was still such a softhearted man towards you. He didn't rush you, and took things slow. You had customers like these before, but he was well.. he was one of an awkward and shy boy, you had to take the lead.
So that's what had you ending up on his lap, bouncing down on his cock, holding onto his shoulders for support, and his hands on your waist. Your moans and whimpers echoed throughout the entire room, thankfully, it was sound proof. Occasional kisses would happen, and your mind went blank on Yoichi's cock. As much as you hated this job, you can't deny, you'll never fail to crumble upon a good looking, kind hearted, and respectful man. The more he respected you, the more you wanted him to disrespect you.
His massive length would reach spots inside you that barely any of your customers could do, and gosh, you had to be thankful for having to receive Isagi for today, going dumb on his dick is definitely helping you clear your mind for the start of a good week. that's for sure. But what about him?
Well, it seems like he chose the correct girl to have sex with, this was just what he needed to clear his heavy thoughts, your warm pussy sucking onto him for dear life, clenching and tightening on him made him almost lose his patience. He had a few hookups before with fangirls who didn't mind, but you? Gosh. He knew you weren't a virgin, but the way your pussy's taking in him, the way you'd moan out his name, your drool pooling out of your mouth, your ruined state.. it made you look like one. Yoichi was enjoying this. Your ass hitting his thighs every time you rocked your hips, your boobs bouncing and your sweet noises on how it feels so good, everything was just.. perfect.
"mmh- you like it, hah- yoichi?" you asked, your voice all breathy and needy for more as you pulled him into a quick kiss before he responded. "yeah, ah- i love it." he grunted out, kissing you again. You pulled away and gave him a slight smile before quickening up your pace once more, speeding up on his cock. You were near your release, and you just wanted to cum. Your pussy letting out erotic sounds each time you bounced on him, and you hugged him tight, feeling your orgasm take over you. "Yoiiiiichi!" you moan his name out, as you squeezed onto him.
It wasn't long till you heard a whimper from him, he came undone on the condom, your pussy was just too much for him to take. Isagi loved it, he loved how your pussy was still squeezing on his cock, he could joke about how it has attachment issues to his cock. Isagi thought, how good it would feel if it wasn't for his damned condom?
A few minutes of panting and gasping for air, your breathing synchronized, you looked up to him, with a cheeky grin on your face.
"that would be.. 20,000 yen, Yoichi."
TUESDAYS were your second least favorites. You never liked them. Tuesdays were the days a lot of clients would come, alongside with fridays. Why was that? Well, Monday's a pain, and by wednesday you'd start to get the kick of tiredness as if it is the middle of the week, so, Tuesday's a great day, right? What a pain in the ass, really.
That was when you were in a room with a guy named ITOSHI SAE. The room you two were in was themed, or rather- disguised, as a massage spa. So, you got in the attire in the room and did some slight adjustments before calling him in. This isn't the first time a client chooses a massage spa as a theme, it often comes with perks after all! A massage, and a hardcore fuck afterwards, so what's better than that? On the other hand, it would charge extra. And now you're here, giving him a back massage before things get.. heated. You talked to him slightly, but man, he was silent. You never really got silent clients- they would often compliment you or flirt with you. "This guy really is something, huh." you told yourself. You told him to lay on his back, and this was where the exciting part begins, where the real show starts.
your hands drifted up to his chest, then further down to his toned abs. your hand started to drop down a little bit further, slowly removing the towel covering his shaft. Your gaze met his, his face expression remained nonchalant as ever, his lips not bulging one bit. However, there was some sort of spark between the two of you. Atleast, that's how you felt. Not those romantic sparks, the ones that got your cunt soaking wet.
His teal eyes had a lustful hint to it, something that could easily make you fall to your knees. You gulped down the lump on your throat before fully removing the towel, exposing his half hard dick to you. He was big, his tip containing the cutest shade of red you could ever see. You stared at it, your heart racing as a thousand thoughts ran up to your mind. You wonder, what could you do with his pretty cock? Then, you heard a deep voice speak, bringing you back to reality. "What's the matter, why'd you stop?" The pink-haired man asked, looking at you. "O-Oh! nothing." You flashed him a cheeky smile before resting your head on his hip, and placed a finger on his cock. You noticed how it twitched, and it quickly came to full arousal. Sae on the other hand had a blush on his face, a low whimper was also heard from him with just a simple touch. You then took his dick on your hand, squeezing it gently before you started to move your hand around him, giving him a handjob. You pressed kisses on his tip and base from time to time as you chirped on about his cock, and how pretty it is. "your dick's huge..! I wonder, would it fit?" you chirped, a slight smile on your face was seen, "why don't we test it out, then? Yeah?" Sae got up, sitting on his bed, looking at you, causing you to stop your tracks on his dick. You looked up at him, and gosh, why was he so attractive for saying that? You quickly stood up and unbuttoned your blouse, removing the tight skirt you're wearing, disregarding both of them and putting it down wherever you could place them.
After what seemed like nonstop teasing from the both of you, your being fucked on your pussy, your ass slapping onto him, and you recieved spanks from here time to time. "You like it, don't you, you slut?" he leaned down and whispered to your ear, as he continued to mess up your pussy's insides. Gosh, your eyes were tearing up, drool pooling out of your mouth as you nodded enthusiastically at him. "Mmph- yes! haangh- a slut.. for 'ya!" you moaned out, and a smirk was on Sae's face once you admitted that yourself. "tch, how I love masochistic bitches like you." he commented, going back up and pulling your hair, causing you to jolt back up slightly before he let go of it, your face falling back on the pillow. "masochistic cocksleeves like you turn me on, so.. hngh- so damn much." he groaned out, slapping your ass once more, his hand basically causing a red mark on your ass. You whined at the sensation of it, maybe your asscheeks would go numb if he kept abusing it over and over. "No guy could ever fuck you like this, hm?" He queried. Now that was a different story, you didn't expect that, but your pussy squeezed on his cock as he hit spots you didn't even know were possible. Maybe it was a bit selfish to do so, you had fateful customers, but gosh this man..
you nodded your head once more, "mhm..! nobody- ah!" you stated out through your whimpers and whines, and Sae's grin grew even bigger, your words fed his large ego, causing it to grow bigger. "Atta girl." He praised you, speeding up, letting you reach your climax. "Come on, cum f'me." He encouraged, your hands fisting onto the sheets, your moans becoming louder and louder before your eyes rolled back to your skull, seeing stars as you orgasmed. His pace became sloppy and stiff as your walls tightened around him, and soon enough, he came undone, too. He pulled out of you, and your body was too weak to even lift yourself up, and your knees gave up on you. Making you plop down to the mattress. "So, how much do I have to pay?" He inquired as he took the condom off and threw it in the trash bin, you couldn't even mutter out an answer, you were still dumb from his cock. "Hmph, I suppose I'll have to ask the mistress down there since you're too fucked out to even talk." He commented before stroking your hair, and a sly smile was on his face.
WEDNESDAYS were when frustration would really kick. It's the middle of the week after all, so you'd feel less motivated today. But, thanks to your work, you can never rest. Though, luck has been on your side all through-out this week. You're paired with a tall guy, long front bangs and a laid back with the same teal eyes with the guy from yesterday. You wondered, could they be related? You asked the madam for his name before going into a room with him, and his name was apparently ITOSHI RIN. Bingo, your thoughts were right. They are related.
Except, you were curious as to why he was here. Maybe his brother told him? Who knows. Nonetheless, you're not gonna fill your mind prying into other people's personal life, you're here to entertain their sexual frustrations.
Your tongue swirled around his cock's base, as you sat on the fluffy and fuzzy floor, he was sitting on the bed, his hand on your head. He was more difficult than the guy yesterday, he was silent, too. Low grunts and groans heard from him, yet he was shoving your face down to his cock, forcing himself all the way down your throat. You tried to pull yourself out of his possession, somehow, you can't. You don't even know why you tried. Unprotected oral was your guilty pleasure, you loved whenever a huge cock like his would abuse your throat and get your cunt all wet down in your panties. You just adored whenever your mouth was used, just like this.
You almost gagged when heavy spurts of cum flooded your mouth, and as he pulled his dick out of your mouth, it still came rushing and dripped down to your cheeks. If you looked reaaaallyyyy closely, you could see a smile on his face.
Despite this, he hardly even uttered out a word to you, and that made your face frown. "What's with that look, doll?" He questioned, confused on why you seemed unsatisfied. "You aren't gonna praise me, not at all?" you questioned, resting your head on his thigh. "Ah.. so this is what it's about," he paused, thinking of what to say next. He never would've expected prostitutes would be so.. expressive? Or maybe you were just a special case. Nevertheless, Rin took it himself to agree on your 'request' and placed his hand on your hair, gently stroking it. "You.. you were amazing." Shyly said Rin.
You gave him a smile, your eyes sparkled as you got up. "aren't I a good girl, Rin?" you probed, "ah.. yeah, you are." He sighed, before you got up, then walked towards the bed as his eyes stayed locked to your figure. You laid down on his bed, your back arched as you stretched your arms out, then sighing and resting down on your back, your hands on top of your head, as you spread your legs for him. "hot take, girls get suuuuupeeeer wet when you praise them." you joked, but hello? the sight of your soaked panties underneath your short skirt got him all riled up again. You could see how his dick got hard once more, slapping against his abdomen. "So? Wanna have a taste?" you teased him, and surely you got a reaction out of him. "I'll put you back to your place."
Dear, he was oh so correct. Your wrist being pinned up on your head with one hand, as he pounded on your pretty pussy, you looked down to see the erotic view that was happening, you could never get tired of this. Your pussy taking in a cock so well, how badly it turned you on, and ofcourse, it turned your dearest customer on, too. He then leaned forward, attacking your neck as he pressed a kiss, trailing down to your collarbone, and down to your right boob. His eyes looked on yours that were fully in a haze, your eyebrows furrowed and you were close to crying from the pleasure. You heard a groan from him after looking at your expression, and then attacking your nipple.
His tongue licked your areola, drawing circles on it, and teasing you by slightly biting your nipple. "D-Dont..! nngh- ah! I'll.. i'll cu-ah! cum early if you do!" you cried out, as he teased your nipple once more. He didn't respond, and continued to toy with your chest as his other hand was massaging your other boob, squeezing it and rubbing it. He was rather a contrast to his relative from yesterday, he was abusing your breasts. "Then cum already, princess." He breaths out, before going back to your nipple, this time, he was on your left boob. You couldn't take it anymore, "ah- fuck! cumming, cumming, cummi-nghhhh..!!" you moaned out, before you orgasmed, a heavy one. Your orgasm spilling down onto the bed sheets, as he let go of your hand letting you rest down as tears rolled down your eyes. After a few more thrusts of his cock down on your cramped pussy, he came undone on the condom. He pulled out after his very own high, and resting his head on your breasts that he was abusing just earlier. "i'll pay later, you're so.. cute." he said in a low tone, looking away from you, yet his head still rested on your boobs. You chuckled at him, and gave him a pat on the head. "Alright. You're cute too, Rin."
© zeijias. do not copy/steal, translate, modify my work.
notes; OKAY SO THIS WAS ACTUALLY REQUESTED IN MY INBOX JUST A FEW DAYS AGO BUT I DIDMT HAVE MOTIVATION TO WRITE BACK THEN SO IM SO SORRY FOR NOT BEING QUICK ENOUGH ANONNN TT im not really knowledgable on these stuff like brothels <\3 anyways, who should I do next for thursday, friday, saturday && sunday TT
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☆ 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱? - ,, 𝘀𝗮𝗲
summary: you've always been around for itoshi sae, unwanted at first, until he comes to realise just how much he likes you. but it's too late for him by then, and anyway, this measly crush will fade with time, right?
warnings: gn!reader , childhood friends (?) to lovers , some angst, sae-centric , sae being bad at feelings , sae also pining helplessly and obliviously (for a bit) , general awkwardness , word vomit (like fr) , not proof read !!
word count: 4.0k
a/n: art aanobrain comeback and it's sae—nobody's surprised...my comeback was supposed to be a diluc fic which was supposed to be a neuvillette fic which was supposed to be a gojo fic but. here we are. anyways: pls listen to crush by ethel cain
The first time Sae sees you is when he's eight years old. Rin is six, and you are too. He doesn't remember much about you then, nothing beyond the way you hid behind your mother for most of the day, and stayed silent during lunch. The young Sae hardly paid you any mind—you didn't look like you wanted that kind of attention anyway. But he remembers your stare and how it had followed him throughout the house. You had watched him carefully and it spiked some kind of irritation within him; why watch him if you're not going to say a single thing? (Momentarily, he wonders if you're waiting for him to do something first. Then, he decides he doesn't care either way—he doesn't want to get to know you.)
Your mother was close friends with his mother—and she was always around. Sae never minded much because she would bring all kinds of sweet treats from the bakery down the block. But her daily visits meant you were always around too. You became a constant of his afternoons, seated on his couch, pressed against your mother's side. You never indicated ever wanting to speak to him, or get to know him, but you'd watch him when he'd come into view. When he'd cross the living room and give everyone a weak wave of acknowledgement, searching for his football, you'd follow his movements until he's gone out the back door. He wonders if melonpan is worth the agitated feeling that rests in the pit of his stomach when he sees you.
During hot summer days, when the sun was beating down relentlessly, everyone would be sprawled out on the grass of a nearby park. Sae kept himself busy with football—his coach says he has natural talent and that's the kind of thing that makes a kid puff his chest out with pride. He was only kept busier with his brother, who seemed to be following closely behind in his footsteps. Ten-year-old Itoshi Sae had more than enough to think about—he didn't need you to wedge yourself in there too. (He fails to realise that it's far too late for that; you're on his mind nearly every night.) But here you are, watching him yet again, even with that blank sketchbook laying open on the grass in front of you. Once again, irritation sparks within him like the very beginnings of a flame, but this time, the fire grows and grows. It roars and flickers as it fills up the cavity of his chest. Sae clenches his jaw, clenches his fists, and tears his gaze away from you. Eventually, you'll have to leave him alone, he thinks.
-: ✧ :-
You're there at his 11th birthday party. Apparently, Rin invited you—that's what his mother said in passing as she fussed over the cake and the accompanying cake stand. Sae finds that hard to believe; since when were you and Rin friends? He figures his brother would have mentioned something earlier—brought your name up in conversation or something. He stalks through the house in search of his nine-year-old brother; the mere thought of you has his heart pounding against his ribcage and the whole thing is nothing short of uncomfortable. (It doesn't help that his palms grow clammy, or that sweat begins to gather along the back of his neck.)
"Why did you invite them?" The question is demanding; Rin stares up at him, confusion marring his features, until Sae mentions you by name.
Rin shrugs, "Mom said I can invite someone if I want to. They sit next to me in class." That's apparently the only explanation he's willing to give and, begrudgingly, Sae leaves to go loiter in the living room until guests arrive.
You're the first to show up, your mother in tow. She nudges your shoulder softly, nodding at him standing plainly in front of his couch. There's a gift in your hand—Sae can tell he won't really care for whatever is wrapped inside—and you look at your mother from over your shoulder. Your brows are furrowed, mouth curled into a frown that matches the turmoil bubbling within him like a boiling lava pit. He feels some kind of sick satisfaction from knowing you're in the same boat as him: uncomfortable, irked, not wanting to go through with this whole ordeal. But right behind the soothing palm of satisfaction is an iron fist that clenches his heart and leaves him befuddled, to say the very least.
You grumble a birthday wish like it pains you to do so, before shoving the present into his arms and practically running back to your mother. Sae begins to wonder if you're just shy, or perhaps, reserved. He can relate, somewhat. He's not so much reserved as he is purposeful—picking and choosing when to speak and when to keep his thoughts to himself. It isn't until Rin makes his way into the living room that you seem to come alive, flocking to his side like you're some kind of animal his little brother has managed to bait. The sight of your outstretched arms and gentle smile, bunched up cheeks and all, leaves Sae feeling bitter. (The kind of bitterness that sours your mood and ruins your day—his birthday be damned. Why can't he get a smile out of you like that?)
You make yourself scarce for the rest of the day and Sae finds himself looking for you, on more than one occasion. All the birthday wishes from his classmates and the meticulously wrapped gifts he had received managed to hold his attention for a few minutes, nothing more. And then he was back again, staring at the crowd, hoping to find your face. He figures you’re with Rin—and the cake in his mouth begins to taste bitter. The feeling of your unwavering gaze is suddenly missing and it's like a routine part of his life has been swiped away. Sae can't remember how or when he grew to be so comfortable under the weight of your stare; he decides he doesn't like this new discovery.
Itoshi Sae is officially eleven years old and yet, that night, he went to bed wishing he could have traded places with his little brother instead.
(It doesn't make sense. None of it does and Sae spends hours trying to rationalise the way he wastes his time on you. When he, once again, comes up with nothing, he forces himself to sleep. You invade his dreams, like some kind of parasite, but strangely, he doesn't mind.)
-: ✧ :-
Ever since you became better friends with Rin, you've been around a lot more. Sae doesn't quite know how he feels about that—hasn't yet figured out how to make sense of the myriad of feelings that rush in whenever he sees you.
Your staring has ceased, which effectively removes you from his radar. For the longest time, Sae's biggest grievance with you was just that: your staring. But now he wonders why you stopped. (And why he cares that you stopped—why he noticed it at all.)
It's the summer before Sae leaves for Spain. He's been busier than ever, attending meetings with his parents and barely understanding any of it, pretending to read through contracts before handing it off to his dad so he can sign it. His time with his brother has been significantly limited now, but Rin doesn't seem to mind all that much. After all, he has you.
Sae makes his way downstairs and there you are, seated on his couch with a raggedy old sketchbook clutched in your hands.
"Why are you here?" His words are sharp but his tone is dull and you look like you don't care at all.
You sigh, "I've been here every day. You just haven't seen me till now." It's possible—probable, whatever—and it's not like Sae would know. Today is his short reprieve from all the commotion surrounding his move to Spain. You pick at your nails, "For Rin." Sae wants to tell you that you didn't need to add that part—he had figured it out the day he turned eleven. He doesn't, though, and there's only silence while he tries to figure out what to say next.
"What're you drawing?"
You shift away from him at that, pointedly hiding your sketchbook, "None of your business." He squints at you, furrowing his brows.
Sae remembers Rin talking about something you drew a few nights ago, when they were all getting dinner from some restaurant he can't remember the name of. He had been tired then, from the day's events, but he knows he's not misremembering. (As if that were possible for him when it comes to you.) "Rin said you showed him."
"He can see it," you grumble, drawing in a sharp breath. "Not you."
"Why not me?"
"We're not friends."
Did you even want to be friends? The question is at the tip of his tongue as he recalls the way you used to watch him, and then remembers the day you suddenly stopped. Was all you were looking for a friend? Is that why you stopped—because you found Rin? (Does Sae even want to be friends with you? He pauses to think; he doesn't think he'd be satisfied as a friend, though.)
"That's your fault," he quickly replies, not wanting you to take his silence as a sign that the conversation has ended.
"You're kind of boring," Sae says. Or, more accurately, he lies. If he were to tell the truth, he'd have to tell you about all the nights he has laid awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of you. Trying to picture your face in the dark in hopes of understanding you just a bit better. Eventually, he gives up with a huff and forces himself to sleep. It doesn't matter if he understands you or gets you or whatever. Sae tells himself he doesn't care for you. (Deep in the crevices of his mind, is a voice that sounds an awful lot like him. A bit more feeling, a bit more honest. This version of Sae calls him a filthy liar and laughs, like this isn't something the both of them will have to deal with.)
You cross your arms over your chest and level him with a scathing glare. "You calling me boring is, like," you pause, your lips curling into a frown, "basically illegal."
"I'm not boring." Not a great comeback, by any means. You don't comment on that.
"The only interesting thing about you, Sae, is the fact that you play football. And even that is kind of boring." And then you get back to doodling in your sketchbook, as secretive as ever. Sae fights the urge to lunge for it and catch a glimpse of everything hidden inside—the ghost of the movement makes his hand twitch at his sides.
Ultimately, he does nothing more than click his tongue and walk away. He waits for himself to begin growing a dislike for you, but his insides feel like a nonsensical mess. It isn't until he reaches his room that he notices how fast his heart is racing.
-: ✧ :-
Sae realises too late that he likes you—has a crush on you, but it feels too childish for him to call it that (even if he's only thirteen now). He realises the moment he's at the airport, waving goodbye to his parents, his brother, and you. He realises as he boards his plane, finds his seat, and stares out the window. He realises it in tandem with the fact that you would no longer be around. Just like his family, his little brother, and the rest of everything he had grown to be familiar with—you would be gone too, for a number of years. And his heart squeezes in the cavity of his chest, claws at his ribs and drags it's way up into his throat until he can feel it there. His pulse is loud in his ears, thrumming relentlessly, and his face is warm, and Sae likes you more than he'd care to admit.
The old woman next to him asks if he's okay in broken Japanese, and once again, he realises too late that he's crying.
-: ✧ :-
Spain is nothing like he's used to.
Itoshi Sae is thirteen years old and alone in his apartment with peeling wallpaper and cracked tile floors. He puts up a few pictures with a hammer and a nail (and wears a bandage on his index finger where he accidentally hit it) in the hopes that, eventually, he could warm up to this place. With the hopes that he could grow to call it home. His landlord finds out and yells at him in a language he can't understand—he hasn't gotten that far in his lessons yet—so he takes them down. There's an ache in his chest when he thinks of Japan.
Sae still has trouble sleeping, and he still spends time looking for you in the darkness of his bedroom. His mattress is uncomfortable and the springs dig into his back. He still likes you—he wonders if you'll ever like him back. (Sae then decides that he'll never tell you; you've always seemed to dislike him.)
-: ✧ :-
Itoshi Sae is seventeen when he returns to Japan, no longer a striker and no longer holding onto a dream that should have died years ago—before reality had to shove the truth down his throat.
(That he wasn't everything he thought he was, and the world is vast, with people who will always be better. Sae struggled for years—left at a disadvantage when it came to the language and the culture. Then, he realised his true talents in being a midfielder. By then, his previous dream seemed like more of a taunt that shaped into an ugly bitterness he carried with him. At least he knows Spanish now. His flashcards lay at the bottom of his suitcase, worn and torn from excessive use. Small victories that are useless now that he's back home.)
And Itoshi Sae is seventeen when he shatters his relationship with his little brother, wide-eyed and excited to have him back home. The words slip past his mouth like water, and the anger that rises up his chest like smoke is all-consuming. When they make it back home, the atmosphere is tense. Sae has a hotel lined up, despite his mother's insistence that he stay in his old bedroom. Truthfully, he doesn't think he can stomach the sight of it—all the posters of players he used to idolise that he now knows he will never amount to.
You come over for dinner on account of him returning. Sae slips out the front door before anyone in his family can catch him leaving. He doesn't want to see you—he can't let you see him like this. He moves into his hotel room the next day and ignores every single call from his father and mother, and the one call from Rin. (He spends a few minutes staring at his phone, wondering if you would call. You don’t.)
-: ✧ :-
Itoshi Sae is twenty-one and he’s back home for his brother’s birthday. Rin has gone on to build up quite the reputation for himself, and his career, along with his future, is bright. Briefly, Sae wonders if it would be awkward to tell him that he’s proud of him. Their relationship has improved somewhat since he was seventeen, but it’s still riddled with cracks that the two of them have yet to patch up. Things are complicated and Sae doesn’t know if he has the capacity to handle the complexities that may arise in the future as he spends more time with Rin; but he has to, he knows that.
You’re there too, at this party, because you’ve managed to stay in Rin’s close circle of friends much longer than Sae has. He finds himself envious of you for that, but the envy softens at the edges the longer he looks at you, before transforming into something else altogether. His heart still behaves as erratically as it used to when he was much younger, and that fact makes him want to curl in on himself. His feelings for you have never faded, or even lessened, in any way. In fact, as he stands here now, watching you laugh at something one of Rin’s teammates said, Sae thinks that they’ve only grown stronger.
He’s staring, he realises, and you catch him, titling your head to the side with this perplexed look on your face. You’re beautiful in every way; Sae turns away and heads straight for the door. He hopes the chill of autumn might calm him down—pull him out of his head. How pathetic is he to have harboured a silly crush on you for so many years? (It’s more than a silly crush, at this point, and Sae knows that. But he’s not strong enough to admit the truth to himself, or anyone else, so he bites his tongue and shoos the thought away.)
“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” your voice comes from behind him, smooth and soft; sweet like the melonpan your mother used to bring. Sae feels like he’s thirteen again, with his blunt bangs almost obstructing his eyes, and his heart lodged in his throat.
He shrugs, “It’s my brother’s birthday.” You merely hum as you come up beside him, your hands clasped behind your back as you teeter on your heels. “Why are you out here?” All those years ago, when he met Rin in the snow and delivered cruelty like it was nothing, you must have heard about it. And yet, you never had anything to say to him—but you never said anything at all so he figured you wanted nothing to do with him.
“Why can’t I be?” you reply, wrapping your sweater clad arms around your torso.
“I thought you’d be busy celebrating your best friend’s birthday.”
You laugh; the sound is musical, like jingling bells. “I was—and now I’m here. I wanted to talk to you.” Sae’s entire body hums to life; there’s anticipation fluttering in the pit of his stomach that he desperately tries to kill before it makes itself apparent on his face in the form of reddened cheeks.
“I have a question for you,” you say, innocently, staring ahead at the streets of their neighbourhood. “It’s something that’s bugged me for a long time, you know.”
Nothing could have prepared Sae for what you were about to ask. (Maybe, it’s better that way. He doesn’t think he would have let the conversation continue should he have been clued in on what was on your mind.)
“Do you like me?”
The butterflies die, dropping one by one like flies. Anticipation fizzles out and now, he’s left with dread—sickening dread as he clenches his fist and digs his blunt nails into his palms. How did you manage to find out? Who told you? Who had he told? Perhaps, he was just too obvious and you put two and two together. Perhaps—
You interrupt his train of thought with a low noise, “Oh, let me clarify—did you ever like me? Maybe, when we were kids?”
“Why do you want to know?” He’s dodging the question, he's getting defensive. A smile makes its way onto your face and he knows you basically have your answer.
“Because,” you begin, drawing out the end of the word, “Rin used to think that you did. And he’d tell me that you did in the hopes that I would confess to you.” Sae curses Rin and his observational tendencies until he catches up to the rest of your sentence.
“Confess?” he asks, almost breathlessly, as he stares at the side of your face.
You wave him off, “Yeah, I liked you when we were kids. I used to stare at you, but then some girl in my class was talking about how that’s too obvious, so I stopped. Rin found out and used to pester me because he was convinced you liked me too.” When you meet his stare, there’s something mirthful in your eyes, “I guess he was right.”
Sae scoffs, tries to save face, “I never said I did.” You bite back just as easily as always, “You didn’t need to. I could tell—just now.” There’s an itch at the back of his mind that Sae refuses to scratch, but it grows more and more bothersome as he waits for it to go away; he bites the bullet.
“And now? What about now?” The question hangs in the air, not oppressively, though. Sae watches you, his gaze unwavering, and you look down at your feet, kicking at the wood of his front porch.
“Does it matter?” you say, softly. Your answer is too hesitant for how you usually are, and there’s a part of him that wants to run far away from this conversation; a part of him that can’t handle a truth that isn’t favourable to him; a part of him that wants you—needs you—in the same way he needs to eat and needs to breathe.
And so, Sae takes a step closer, tilts his head as he waits, “Yes, it matters.”
The centimetres of space that exists between the pair of you is thick with a kind of tension that’s almost palpable. Sae wants to reach out and squeeze it, throw it to the side so he can close the gap, but he waits.
“And if I said yes?” You exhale sharply, clearing your throat. “If I said I still liked you—what then?”
The near-deafening roar of his heartbeat is all he can hear for a few seconds, the muscle thrashing against his rib-cage. Sae wonders if you can hear it; he wouldn’t put it past the treacherous muscle to rat him out. His thoughts are nothing more than a jumble in his head, racing too fast for him to grasp onto one thing. All he can do is breathe out a laugh, struck with disbelief, finding himself to be unimaginably lucky.
“Stop laughing,” you hiss, crossing your arms over your chest, wearing the signature frown he’s so used to. Sae bites at the inside of cheek, contemplates, then takes your hand in his.
“There’s this ice-cream bar that opened up recently—Rin likes it.” So, you’ll like it too, Sae thinks, and then hopes you haven’t already been there. “You should come with me.” It’s not a question, but he says it like it is and watches as the corners of your mouth lift into a smile.
You squeeze your fingers around his, “I’d like that.” And this feels like a dream for someone like Itoshi Sae: thirteen when he first realised he’d do anything to have you smile because of him, and twenty-one when he let that wish come into fruition.
(Some dreams are worth holding onto it, it seems.)
-: ✧ :-
Itoshi Sae is twenty-three when he finds one of your old sketchbooks tucked away amongst a few novels and old school yearbooks. You're in the shower—not around to stop him from taking the book out gently, and staring at the front cover. He remembers this one; he remembers the way you held it back when he asked what you were working on. He was twelve then.
Surely, you wouldn't mind if he looked inside, right? He reasons that it's normal—you're much older now. It doesn't matter what ten-year-old you was hiding away in the pages of your raggedy old sketchbook. (He's surprised the old thing has lasted this long. It's in remarkable shape for all the years it has endured.) You're together and he's your boyfriend; this is fine.
And before he can second-guess himself, Sae flips it open and thumbs through the pages. Nothing really catches his eyes—there are lots of trees, a few cats, and some characters he doesn't recognize—but then he finds the page that leaves him feeling like an idiot with a crush. (In hindsight, it's close enough; he's an idiot in love.)
It's a hurried sketch of a boy with long lashes and blunt bangs: it's him. You've written the date right below it, and scrawled underneath that in your messy handwriting is a note.
Strange kid. But I like him. A lot. :(
only real ones know how big of an accomplishment it is for me to actually finish a draft. anyways the diluc neuvillette gojo fics are in the works + will eventually show up trust and believe
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Missed calls - {itoshi sae}
“gosh you’re so fucking annoying. I wanted to call my girlfriend so that I could calm down from the huge amount of stress I’m already under and here you are acting like a nagging clingy psycho.” before any other words could be spoken you hung up the phone placing it on the nightstand.
Sae <3: I’m sorry.
Sae <3: y/n?
1 missed call
5 missed calls
12 missed calls
20 missed calls
hearing your phone ring once again you picked up up furiously screaming into the phone. “WHAT?” you yelled out of character, there was silence before he spoke, “you’re ignoring my calls.” without answering you slammed your phone on the nightstand not before turning on do not disturb.
you and sae had gotten in a pretty heated argument which ultimately ended with you hanging up the phone and ignoring it. he is in the states right now for a tournament so he can’t come to you. usually his sullen, dull, asshole personality would be just fine because that’s what you’re used too but this time he went too far.
he seemed like he didn’t even care. he wasn’t due to come back until next month so you opted to block his number leaving him with his “issues” that he has to deal with. if he thinks you’re clingy, fine. you’ll just go on about your business and leave him to do whatever he wanted. he always acts like he doesn’t want to be in a relationship so why not give him the freedom he’s wanted.
sae the moment those words came out his mouth felt like a dick. you were only worried because he had gotten trashed in an interview and it was shown on tv everywhere. he was frustrated and took it out of you, he knew the choice of words that he spoke was wrong but he said it anyways.
after you hung up on him he decided to wait until the morning to talk to you but his text weren’t going through and his calls weren’t either. “I’m sorry, the number you have dialed-” he tossed his phone on the hotel bed grabbing his head in frustration. his day was already starting horrible, usually you two would call each other in the morning and talk about what you’d do during the day so that you two knew when to call each other later.
two weeks passed and at this point he had called your number at least 40 times a day. any free second he had he would call you or text you, this is the longest you two had ever gone without talking to each other and he was seriously getting worried. getting back to his hotel for the night he laid down on his back holding his phone above his face. his phone was basically stuck on your contact card and that was the only form of you he had besides the endless albums of you in his photos or his rotating lockscreen picture.
he backed out of your contact and went to his brother’s reluctantly pressing the call button and waiting for him to answer. “what?” he spoke and sae was already rolling his eyes at his brother attitude. “can you check on y/n?” rin let out an annoyed sigh and sae could hear shuffling on his end of the phone. “y/n are you okay?” he heard you say yeah in the background confused then he heard more shuffling before rin spoke up again.
“she’s fine.” he was about to hang up but sae needed to ask, “why are you with y/n?” “we have dinner ever sunday together.” before any more questions could be asked rin hung up the phone leaving sae feeling more empty than he already was.
a month passed and now with him coming home he was excited to see you but he needed to win this game before going home to you.
you were sitting in your car outside of the stadium debating on whether or not you wanted to go in. you had never missed any of his home games and you didn’t want to start, you just kept going back to your argument. the night sae called rin, that was the only time he had ever come over to yours and sae’s apartment for dinner. you had spoken to him about what happened and even though him and his brother aren’t really that close he gave you good advice.
“sae is an asshole, that not a secret. he doesn’t think before he speaks and doesn’t think about the damage his words can cause. all I have to say is he has never called me for anything relatively important but he just called me to ask if you were okay. I can’t speak for him, he said what he said and now he’s paying the price for it. only speak to him when you are ready.” he ended with that before leaving.
last night when you unblocked his number all the messages and missed calls that you missed flowed through your phone all at once. tears prickled on your bottoms lash line reading all of his text messages. the last one had you crying yourself to sleep while hugging his pillow.
sae <3: this is the last message I’ll send tonight. tomorrow we’re coming back and I would love to see you. I know you are probably still upset with me and I would be too. I hurt the person I love so bad to the point where we haven’t spoken in a month. I miss you, I love you and if you come to the game and even though I’m we haven’t worked things out, if you wear my jersey tomorrow I’ll know that we’ll be okay. sweet dreams princess i love you.
he was right, you were still pissed but you missed sae, prior to the argument he’d been gone for a month already and that made you miss him so much more. the sheets didn’t smell like him anymore nor did his pillow. you wanted sae back but you weren’t going to make it easy for him. unzipping your jacket you slipped the long sleeve over your head then pulled down the mirror to fix your hair and makeup.
~
you sat in the VIP section in your normal seat playing on your phone until the game ended. everyone stood up leaving the area while you stayed put, you could see sae being interviewed by someone but because of the distance you couldn’t tell if he was actually paying attention which irked your nerves. he was always so rude to people whenever they interviewed him but went through with them because you asked.
a couple of minutes passed and once almost all the people were gone you noticed sae started to walk towards your direction so you stood up and walked down the steps stopping at the railings that was separating the two of you. “y/n…” he spoke stopping right infront of you, looking at him you kind of glared trying to hide how much you missed him. more silence filled his ears and out of defeat he dropped his head taking a deep breath.
suddenly a small quiet sniffle sounded and he looked back up with tears in his eyes. “I can’t lose you, I fucked up I know I did. if you want to punish me some more then do it but please stop ignoring me I physically can’t do it anymore, I can’t live without you.” standing there you looked at him in shock, he’s never cried before especially over something like this.
“meet me in the tunnel.” “no.” he quickly responded jumping up and climbing over the railing. he landed immediately taking you into his arms, you gasped at his action but ultimately wrapped your arms around him gently rubbing his back. for a quick second you could feel him shaking but you may have been imagining it.
he pulled back keeping his arms wrapped around you so that he could admire what he missed in these two months. “you look gorgeous, I love you princess.”
“I know you do, you and your 1,882 calls” he laughed awkwardly as you pressed a small kiss on his sweaty jawline smiling up at him. “I love you too.”
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characters/pairings: itoshi sae x reader
warnings: fluff. the reader is an avid reader lmao so funny. sort of clingy sae? annoyed sae? just sae. maybe ooc too but idrc.
note: self indulgent because i've been reading this one book nonstop for the past week and can't think of anything else. wondered how sae would act with a reader who likes to read a lot like me lol this is lowkey bad forgive me sorry for typos
🌊 summary: sae starts to get annoyed because you won't stop reading your book. (and also because you won't give him your attention, but that's a secret— that isn't as well kept as he thinks it is.)
"y/n," sae muttered. he watched you with a glare, noticing how you had heard him clearly yet still ignored him, continuing to smile to yourself with your bottom lip between your teeth. he rolled his eyes, trying again, this time resting his hand on your thigh. his fingers impatiently tapping against the soft skin.
"y/n."
no response. you even giggled as you read the lines in that book you had been attached to all day long. that little 600 page romance book that entertained you so much more than he could— what the hell was it even about?
sae knew you loved books. you visited the library nearby almost every week, and he couldn't even decide if it was because the lady there was so nice to you or because you wanted to get away from him. there was no way he was that boring, right?
it was always sae who accepted all your amazon packages for the books that hadn't yet arrived in the library— and although the sight of your excited smile when he told you it was finally here was something, he never understood the hype at all.
why would he, when his sport was his all-time focus? books weren't ever as exciting to him as they were to you. so as long as you got any and every book you wanted (he made sure of that) he was alright.
but right now, sae had this urge to hide all your books from you.
especially this one.
because it stole you from him.
sae was annoyed. and he was even more annoyed that he started to think about hiding your books away from you like a madman, because it's fucking embarrassing that he's going borderline insane just because you haven't talked or even looked at him for the past two hours. and he's been in bed next to you this whole time.
he cursed under his breath and subtly thrashed around under the covers like a child who didn't get the toy he wanted. he shifted closer to you in the midst of his little quiet tantrum. "y/n. look at me."
"yeah?"
when you finally looked at him, it was as if he'd found oxygen.
and he hated it even more. why was he like this for you?
but then you went back to that book.
that stupid fucking book. again.
sae was going to cry.
fuck no, he wasn't. he won't. not ever. that's lame. so lame.
whatever. if you liked your book that much, maybe he should find something else to do too, he decided.
he turned around with his back to you and shut his eyes.
and then he heard another sigh. a dreamy one, at that.
"alright, enough. give me that." he jumped up from his sleeping position, grabbing the book from your hands. he didn't even know how to properly hold a book, but he didn't find it in himself to care as he shut it close, a breath of relief escaping from his mouth just as you started to whine.
"sae, no," you struggled, trying to get the book back, but you knew better than to fight against your boyfriend who was glaring at you like that with his lips pressed in a sad, thin line. his hair was still a little damp from the shower he took while you were just into the first 60 pages of the book. he swept his hair back, setting the book beside him, where you couldn't reach— atleast not without getting through him.
"i was almost done," you said slowly, trying your best to explain now that you were out of that world. "i promise, just gimme it now 'n i'll finish the first part in just 20 minutes."
sae scoffed. "fucking no."
he stared at the book placed near his side, literally judging it by its cover. "what's in this that has you giggling so much? some dude?"
you gasped, dramatically. "okay, he is not some dude. he is my husband."
"oi," sae groaned, things still not getting better for him even after that book had been closed and put away from you. "i'm sleeping next to you shirtless, and you've been giggling with your book husband?"
"you're always shirtless, though."
"that doesn't fucking matter." he retorted, huffing and looking to the side, chin up. you pursed your lips, placing a soft hand on his back, and leaning closer to leave a kiss on his shoulder. he always smelled so nice. he shook you off.
"baby, my sweet sae, if you wanted me to stop reading, you could have just said so." you smiled, watching him run another hand through his hair, his fingers pulling on his roots this time.
"first of all, i don't want your attention." he said blankly, finally looking at you. "and second, you ignored me when i said your name. guess you were too busy with your husband."
you laughed quietly, incredibly amused. about an hour ago, you were actually expecting sae to go back to sleep after showering— but for some reason, you were glad he didn't. this new side of him was so adorable that you never wanted it to end.
you sighed, lying back down, urging him to do the same. he listened as you explained, with you on your side facing him. "you know, i love this book a lot."
"i can see that."
so snarky. you resisted the urge to kiss his slightly puffed out cheek.
"it's really romantic. it's about the relationship of this newly married couple, how it develops day by day, and it's so cute. the main guy— my 'husband', is so good to the main character."
sae raised an eyebrow lazily, still opting to look at the ceiling and didn't respond. you weren't going to gain his attention this easily after that.
you went on. "and this guy reminds me of you. like, you guys are similar to an unhealthy extent. and the reason i was so invested in it was because there was a particular scene where things got a little hot."
"so?" he asked, still not convinced.
your cheeks were reddened from embarrassment. "so, whenever he said or did something, i thought of you. and that is why i was giggling."
sae turned to look at you. his eyes looked much more focused on your lips. he had forgotten how much he missed the feeling of kissing you. again, feeling another annoying pang in his heart because seriously, it had just been two hours. he had to stop acting like you'd been away for days.
"so basically you were having sex with 'book me' in your mind."
"oh god, no!"
"that's exactly it."
"you're so wrong."
"shut up, i'm right."
you groaned, covering your face with your palms and closing your eyes. you felt sae's arm slowly trailing around your stomach, him shifting closer until you could feel his breath fanning against your neck. you giggled out of nervousness and embarrassment, both. "that was not what was happening, okay?"
his lips twitched slightly at your state. "you know i'm way better than him."
"...are you, though?" you peeked one eye open, dragging out your words, guilty. fictional men were just different—
"ah, do you need proof?" he said, a smug look on his face as he began hovering over you. your laugh echoed through the room as you smacked his chest playfully, your arms going around his neck to pull him down on top of you.
"i don't need proof, thank you very much." you said softly with another laugh, letting sae rest his head on your chest. "but i wanna make it up to you for ignoring you. im sorry, my sae. i'll be better. you were just really cute."
"don't do it again," he said, staring up at you from his comfortable position. "or else you might have to go back to your 'husband'."
"i won't really mind— wait, baby, don't go! i was joking!"
taglist: @hyomagiri @yoimyas @beanxiv @hqfeatbetty @shuvvloverrr 🤞🤪
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“should i order something for dinner?”
sae glances up at you before looking back at his phone, frowning. “no sé.”
you bite back an aggravated sigh, brows knitting in annoyance at his response.
recently, sae has developed the habit of speaking in spanish when he’s mad at you.
(he used to give you the cold shoulder, but he realized it started to backfire when you ignored him in return, so he settled for making sure you had a hard time understanding what he was saying instead.)
you lean against the couch, “how do you feel about getting some pizza?”
he doesn’t look at you, “no quiero.”
you make a face, “stop being so difficult.”
he turns to look at you sticking his tongue out, his brows knit in anger.
a frustrated sigh leaves your lips, your head dropping against the couch cushions. “you can’t stay mad at me forever!”
“sí puedo.” your eyes close in annoyance when you feel him glaring at you.
you lift your head up to look at him, glaring back. “i already apologized!”
“it wasn’t sincere!” he huffs, angrily turning away from you and crossing his arms.
a triumphant hum leaves your lips, a satisfied grin settling on your lips. sae turns to look at you with thinly-veiled curiosity.
a mocking huff of laughter slips past your lips and you stick your tongue out at him in satisfaction, “you stopped speaking in spanish.”
his face flushes, his eyes widening in realization before he glares at you again. “no i didn’t!”
“you did it again!” you hide your mouth behind your hands in a feeble attempt to hide your laughter.
a pout grows on his lips, the tips of his ears flushing, “…mentira.”
you slump against the couch, “what are you even mad for anyway?”
sae makes a face, looking away from you. his brows furrow even further as you stare at his cheek.
“…no sé.” his voice is laced with embarrassment, the tips of his ears a bright red as his cheeks slowly flush.
(you don’t need to know what he’s saying to conclude he doesn’t even know why he’s mad. it’s somehow even more annoying.)
confused frustration writes itself in your face, “why are you still being so petty, then?”
“i’m mad at you over something!” he groans, running a hand down his face.
“you wanna know what i think?” you smile.
“no.” you think it’s funny how he still says it in spanish.
you lean closer to him, “i think you should stop being mad at me.”
he gives you a look. “no thanks.”
“sae,” you lean even closer, pouting, “i’m sorry.”
he turns to you, raising a brow, “sorry for what?”
there’s a best of silence.
“you don’t even know what you’re sorry for!” sae glares.
you glare back, “you don’t either!”
his face flushes a deep red. he looks away from you, pausing for a second before glancing at you shyly, “te odio.”
you roll your eyes. “whatever.”
(you also don’t need to tell him you’ve started picking up on what his words mean. or that you’ve started to secret my learn a few of them.
it’d be a shame if he learned yet another language just to be petty.)
“you don’t know what you did?” he looks at you, pouting.
“not really.” you blink, crossing your arms, “do you?”
his lips curl into a fine line, his face flushing before he clears his throat in embarrassment. “not really.” (you think it’s cute how he repeats your words.)
you playfully poke his cheek. “how about we forget what you were mad at me about and order food already?”
he cracks a small smile, “depends on what we’re getting.”
“whatever you want.” you cheekily smile at him.
(you both know he’ll end up choosing whatever you’re craving.)
a sigh leaves your lips when you stretch your arms out, reaching for your phone. “you’re cute when you’re speaking spanish.”
“oh yeah?” he sounds smug. it makes you almost want to forgive him for being petty. (but you won’t.)
a smile blooms on your lips your eyes sparkling with mischief as the words slip out of your mouth, “totalmente.”
(you wish you’d taken a picture of his shocked face.)
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