ishoulddefbedoingotherthings - Tumblr blog

ishoulddefbedoingotherthings · 2 months

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the one where Emma is pregnant

for everyone who didn't ask for it, I wrote a two-shot fic of that plotline on friends where Joey realises he loves Rachel but Ross kinda gets in the way but I made it CaptainSwan and (don't come at me) made it as it should have happened on the show ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ massive thanks to @belovedcreation for being my beta and having so much patience with me! rated T | 7662 words also on AO3

Chapter One - Killian

Killian Jones was going to hell.

Not only was he going to hell but he was living it too.

Emma Swan was pregnant. He was in love with Emma Swan. And he was not the father of Emma Swan’s baby.

On top of that, Emma Swan did not love him back and was currently in the living room they shared reading Dr. Seuss to her 6-month bump, in a painfully (read, lovely) domestic scene.

Maybe not hell but very close.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” Killian heard from the kitchen, watching her hand make absent-minded shapes on her clothed belly. “You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

He took a deep centering breath. He did that a lot around her.

“Think the lad will come out speaking in rhymes?” He asked playfully, coming to sit on the arm of the couch.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” Even without looking at her, he could tell she was rolling her eyes and he smiled. “All the baby books say to talk to the baby, so he knows your voice and since I don’t want to bore him with adoption bureaucracy, Dr. Seuss will do.” With a pleased grin, Emma burrowed further into the carefully placed pillows and flipped the page. “You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em-” Taking advantage of her single-hand hold, Killian took the book from her hand. “Hey!”

“He is probably tired of your voice by now,” He teased, ignoring her raised eyebrow glare. “Uncle Killian is the master storyteller here.”

Emma scoffed, clearly trying to hide her smile. “Alright, Uncle Killian, dazzle us.”

“Make yourself comfortable, Swan.”

She made a show of fixing herself, positioning her body towards him with an expectant gaze, her hands on her five-month pregnant belly. For a moment, he let himself watch her, pretend for a moment that this was his. “We’re waiting.”

He shook off his fantasies, winking at her to disguise his turmoil. “You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, ‘I don’t choose to go there.’” Her eyes closed when he glanced over to her and his smile grew. “With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.”

“Wow!”

Killian turned sharply to Emma at her exclamation, finding her with eyes wide open and a surprised smile on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, he just gave the strongest kick!”

He couldn’t help the fascinated expression on his face as he glanced between her belly and her face. “Really?”

“Yeah! Here,” Without warning, she grabbed his hand, the book forgotten to the floor.

His hand glided over her clothed belly guided by her own and he couldn’t help but to watch as her eyebrows scrunched in concentration, her teeth teasing her bottom lip. Tempting.

As if aware of his wandering thoughts, he felt a mighty kick against his palm startling a gasp out of him. “Did you feel it?”

“Aye,” Killian breathed out in fascination, a grin stretching over his mouth at the feel of a second kick right under his fingers. “He’s strong.”

“Don’t I know it,” Emma chuckled with a hint of a reproach towards the small human growing inside her. “He’s been kicking at me for a few weeks but the books were saying that people should start being able to feel it about now.”

Killian felt a third softer push against his palm and he began to move his fingers in a soothing gesture. “You’ve been kicking your mother, lad, that’s not very nice.” He admonished in a soft voice, directed at the baby. His rebellious response was two consecutive kicks to his hand causing Emma to snort in amusement. “Apologies, love, I tried.” He chuckled.

“That’s alright,” Emma sighed with a blissfully happy smile on her face, her hands rubbing up and down the sides of her belly, her fingers touching his on every up stroke. “He just likes Uncle Killian’s voice.”

He met her gaze. Her green eyes were a reflection of her happiness, of her serenity. Despite any misgivings upon discovering her pregnancy, there was no one who loved her baby more than Emma Swan. And all he wanted to do, all he was focusing on not doing was kissing her. Kissing her and telling her he loved her. Telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his days with her. Her and her lad.

That, in fact, had been the biggest shock of it all. Killian Jones, eternal bachelor and avid birth control advocate, wanted to be a father. Wanted to be a husband.

All because of Emma Swan.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” The sudden opening of the apartment door caused Killian to startle into standing before turning towards Neal. “Traffic was a bitch.”

“It’s Friday, everyone wants to get home first,” Emma groaned as she pushed herself into standing.

“I can relate,” Neal snarked, wrapping his arms around Emma for a quick hug before turning to Killian. “Thought you would be at the Rabbit Hole by now, or on a hot date.”

“Nah,” Killian waved the idea away. “I wanted to make sure Emma would be okay until you got here.”

“You’re a good guy,” Neal smiled with a pat to Killian’s shoulder. “Now that I’m here, we should really go.”

“Yeah,” Emma sighed, fixing her bag on her shoulder. “I told the doctor we would be late but we shouldn’t keep them longer.”

“I want to know everything when you’re back.” Killian said, as he always did.

“Don’t worry, Uncle Killian, I’ll give you a picture to add to the fridge.” Emma laughed, her hand running down his arm as she followed Neal to the door.

“See you later, man.” Neal waved leaving Killian alone in his living room, arm in the air in a wave.

To add fuel to the hellfire. Neal Cassidy was his best friend. Neal Cassidy was the baby’s father. And Neal Cassidy was also in love with Emma Swan.

---

Killian would admit, only under threat of excruciating torture, that he was jealous of Neal. It hadn’t always been the case, of course. He’d met him years ago through his flatmate, David, who had been Neal’s college roommate.

He hadn’t been jealous then. Didn’t envy Neal’s broken engagement or the betrayal that led to it. Didn’t envy having to restart his life after something like that. Not when he had gone through the same too.

So what if Neal and Emma had been friends during their school years? They shared the same friend group, so really nothing to be jealous of.

And it wasn’t like he had loved Emma for years, pining away in dark corners and brooding in a lonely room.

Truth was, Emma had fascinated him from the first moment they met. Strong-willed and caring, not to mention absolutely gorgeous, she had burst into their lives in a pink skin-tight dress. Hazards of the job, she called it. Apparently, she had followed her skip to New York and proceeded to ‘honey trap’ him, her words. There had been some choice words directed at her that had led her to the bar their group had been at as well, giving Emma and Mary Margaret an enthusiastic reunion. And he was entranced.

His reputation as a bit of a philanderer, however, had her keeping her distance from him. He couldn’t blame her. It would have likely ended badly if they had fallen into bed with each other. Probably.

In any case, they were friends. Emma had warmed up to him as he opened up to her. They shared stories, scars, adventures. He still slept around, she did too. She dated some people, so did he. She fell in love with Neal, he… was happy for her.

They were friends and it was enough for him.

Until it wasn’t.

David and Mary Margaret’s wedding was years in the making, more than a decade probably. It was clear to anyone who knew them that those two were perfect for each other. So to not only be a part of their wedding but to do so as the officiant was the best day of his life.

Finding out that Emma was pregnant with Neal’s baby did put a damper on the occasion.

He would have also preferred that said baby hadn’t been conceived at his place but Killian was making the conscious choice to put all that far away from his brain.

But it was fine, he had offered his spare room after Tink’s flat caught on fire. He had wanted to be there for his best friend and his infatuation was manageable. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship over some physical attraction he felt towards her. He had learned to live with it by trying to find a replacement in other people. Not exactly the healthiest but they were all consenting adults.

Of course, he should know that managing it wouldn’t cut it for too long.

“Killian,” Emma called, in that soft voice that told him she was about to ask him something. “Can you get me a muffin, please?”

He grinned, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Come on, I’ll make sure to tell the baby all about their amazing Uncle Killian.” She pouted, as she pointedly rubbed her bump, beautifully round 4 months into the gestation process, her eyes shining with mirth.

“You know, Swan,” he started, standing up. “Once that baby is out, you’ll have to stop using him to get what you want.”

“Agree to disagree,” She grinned as he shook his head with a matching smile. “Chocolate, please.”

He sighed, aware that all that hemming and hawing was purely for show. He would give her anything she asked for. He delighted in the happy wiggle she did on the coffee shop’s chair as he handed her her muffin, in the brilliant smile on her face. In a happy Emma.

“Actually, Swan, I want your opinion on something.”

“Shoot.”

Killian grinned at her muffled voice, her mouth full of muffin. “I’m trying to figure where to take Ariel on a date, do you know of any good restaurants?”

“Ariel? Who’s that?”

“Someone I met at the bar the other day, did I not mention her?”

“No,” She frowned as she wiped her mouth.

“Well, I need to impress her, if you know what I mean.” He winked, making it all the more exaggerated for the eye roll.

“Right,” She grunted.

“Something wrong?”

“Nope,” She quickly answered, popping the ‘p’. “Just make sure to go to her house this time, I wanna sleep.”

Killian’s grin widened. “Not to worry, Swan, I won’t get between you and sleep again. But will you help me?”

“Hmm,” Emma hummed as she broke the muffin into small pieces. “You could take her to Bella Notte, they make delicious food and it’s so beautiful there.” Her voice lightened as she spoke, her lips ticking up in a smile.

“That sounds good.” “And, afterwards, you could take her to Any Given Sundae for dessert. Or take her on a walk on the docks. Oh! Take her dancing!”

“That’s all well and good, Swan, but won’t all of that make her too tired to have sex with me?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, his grin threatening to split his face.

Emma rolled her eyes, sitting back on the couch with a pout.

“I’m sorry, love, those are great ideas.” Killian reassured with a soft smile.

“I can’t believe I miss dating,” She sighed, placing her free hand on her already visible bump. “I actually miss getting dressed up and going somewhere fancy with some random guy that will disappoint me in bed but will at least take me to a nice restaurant. I won’t be able to do that for a long time…” She patted her belly before turning back to Killian. “Not that I’m not excited to give birth to a sixteen pound baby, of course.”

Killian smiles at her understandingly. “Hey, Swan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

He almost laughed at the way her mouth gaped open before she scoffed, composing herself. “Yeah, right, like you would wanna go out with a pregnant woman.”

“You’re right,” Killian nodded, watching as her shoulders dropped in resignation. “I want to go out with my best friend and have a good time.” His heart soared at the soft smile on her face, a strange spark of something in her eyes. “Besides, it’ll take your mind off birth plans, c-sections, pushing a human head out of your-”

“Alright!” Emma interrupted loudly, glaring at his laughter before joining him. “I’d love to go out with you.”

“I promise you’ll have fun.” Killian winked before standing up to leave with a kiss to her head. “Be ready at 7.”

In hindsight, he should know that hell is filled with good intentions and, as previously said, he was in hell. While all he wanted was to make his best friend happy, he hadn’t been able to ignore the fluttering in his chest at the prospect of this date.

Killian knocked on his flat door at exactly 7pm. He heard her call out to him from inside and resisted the urge to laugh. He knocked once more and held his breath when he heard her approach. Emma opened the door and he was sure his heart had stopped at the sight of her surprised smile.

“What are you doing out there?” Emma asked, a confused smile on her face.

His grin widened. “I’m here to pick you up for our date.” He pulled his hand from behind his back handing her a red rose. “For you.”

Killian watched as her smile grew more genuine, her eyes softening. He felt her fingers brush against his as she took the flower from his hand. “Thank you.” He let her awed whisper and the way her eyes fluttered shut as she smelled the rose to nestle in his chest.

Right, hell.

“This is great,” She smiled widely as she turned to him. “It actually feels like we’re going on a real date,” She whirled around, letting the smell of her vanilla shampoo hit his nose at the movement, to put the rose in a glass of water. “Though, I do have a hint of morning sickness and this was the only dress I could fit in that was date-worthy.”

Killian let his eyes wander down her body at the mention. Her red dress fit snugly around her bump and left her legs bare from the knee down. He remembered the dress from one of their outings to the bar and how loose it had fit her then. She had kept her hair down and it shone even in the artificial lighting. She looked breathtaking.

He mentally shook himself away from fantasies about taking that dress off her. “Alright, Swan, I’m making it my mission to make you forget all about that,” he grinned before clearing his throat and fixing his posture. “Right, so, you have a nice place, I like your book collection.”

“Actually, that’s my roommate’s,” She played along, a beautiful smirk on her face.

“Your roommate? A fellow reader, they sound interesting.”

“He is but he’s also very protective so be warned.” She grinned as she grabbed her bag and her coat.

“And uh, is he good looking?”

“Mhmm.”

He approached with a swagger as she turned her back to the door, entranced by her happy smile. “Oh, it must be tough to keep your hands to yourself…”

Her soft laughter reached into his chest. “Actually, I think he has a leather kink, you know what I mean?” She winked as she opened the door to leave.

“Way to ruin the game, Swan.” He rolled his eyes, a faux annoyed tone to his voice even as he all but skipped out of the flat.

Emma was still laughing as they got out of the cab in front of the restaurant. Just like she’d suggested, he had booked them a table by the window at Bella Notte.

“What did I tell you?” Emma smiles, dazzled and vindicated. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

It was beautiful but that’s not where his attention was. It was on the way the warm candle light reflected in her hair. And the way her eyes shone with delight. And the way it made everything look so much more intimate.

And the way it put him in so much trouble.

“You’re always right, Swan,” he sighed, hoping she would take his tone as reluctance and not this fascination running through him.

Emma winked and he smirked as he rushed to pull the chair out for her. Her smile grew as she sat down, looking up at him. “Hmm, Killian Jones is a gentleman on dates.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Killian winked, taking her coat from her before taking one of her hands in his free one. “I’m always a gentleman.”

He hoped it hadn’t been his wishful thinking that he saw a shiver run down her arm at the kiss he placed on her knuckles, his eyes locked with hers. It was only the movement from an approaching waiter that broke him from the spell of her green gaze. He cleared his throat taking his seat, missing the disappointed look on her face or the way she rubbed the place where he kissed with his thumb. He had to show a semblance of control.

The waiter offered them a wine menu which had Emma’s brow furrowed in disappointment. In a show of support, Killian ordered a lasagna for two - after receiving Emma’s approving nod - with their best non-alcoholic beverage.

“You really don’t have to do this, Killian,” Emma pressed her lips together, even as he noticed the appreciative spark in her eyes. “I’m the one who can’t drink, not you.”

“I know.”

Her cheeks reddened under his smirk before she smiled fully back at him. Emma shuffled in her seat before she crossed her arms on the table, staring at him with searching eyes.

“So, besides pulling chairs, what else does Gentleman Killian do on dates?”

“Are you saying I need more than just my good looks?” He laughed at her answering look, raised eyebrows and all. “Well, my brother always taught me to listen, be respectful and polite. You have him to thank.”

Emma sat back on her chair, raising an incredulous eyebrow. “Really? No special moves? What about the hand kiss?”

“I’m just my irresistible self, Swan, that’s all I really need,” Killian winked as he mirrored her posture. “Don’t worry, I don’t have any special tricks that will make you fall in love with me.”

She still looked unconvinced as she inspected him, watching his eyes. He decided to level the playing field, leaning forward to place his elbows on the table.

“What about you, Swan? Any tricks?”

“I don’t need any tricks,” She smirked, pushing away hair from her shoulder in a slow move. His eyes tracked the movement of her hand as she brought it back down her chest before settling it back on her lap. When he looked up at her, her smile was wide and triumphant. “I just clean up well and that’s usually enough.”

“Well,” Killian cleared his throat, sitting back on his chair and scratching at the back of his neck. “That will do it.”

Emma laughed delightedly. That does it too. The waiter returned with their food and beverages and it tasted just as delicious as it smelled. Despite the initial plan of pretending to be on a real date, their conversation topics and general posture is equal to every other time they’ve been together.

With some differences. He felt the touch of her hand on his far more often as he forcefully pushed down his desire to hold it, especially when she dragged her fingers away and he felt her touch emblazoned on his skin. He watched her more attentively than usual too. The way her eyes sparkled, the way her full lips stretched, the way they parted, the way she ran her tongue over them, the way he just wanted to press his lips against hers.

Killian wondered if that is one of her special tricks on a date. He wondered if it would matter if they were. He wondered if it would stop the ache and the pining in his chest for something real with Emma Swan.

“This was great,” Emma smiled brightly, her coat wrapped around her shoulders as they reached their flat door. “Thank you for doing this.”

“It was my pleasure, love,” Killian smiled as he stood close to her, his hand coming up to push her hair over her shoulder. “I had a lot of fun.”

They were close. He could see the specks of gold in her green eyes and had never felt such a desperate need to touch her, hold her. He thought he heard her breath quicken before she cleared her throat.

“Well, how do dates usually end for Killian Jones?”

Her smirk wasn’t as bright as before, a hint of anxiety in her eyes and he wondered - hoped - she was jealous, as unrealistic as it was.

“In bed, either mine or theirs, as you well know,” Her unimpressed gaze lost its strength under the red hue of her cheeks. “Or did you want to know how I get them there?”

“Can’t blame a girl for being curious,” At his hesitation, she continued. “Afraid I can’t handle it?” She raised her eyebrow as she crossed her arms over his chest and he wanted to kiss that smirk off her lips. “Try me, Jones.”

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Killian smirked, taking a fortifying breath, not just as a need to focus but to hold on to his restraint. “I usually get really close and say,” He raised his hand to cup her cheek, his fingers in her hair while his thumb rubbed against her cheek, his eyes glancing between her widened eyes and her lips. “You owe me a second date, love,” He lowered his voice, invading her personal space as his thumb moved down to whisper over her parted bottom lip. “I spent the whole night distracted by your lips.”

He felt her shaky breath on the pad of his thumb as he kept his eyes on hers. The way her pupils widened to swallow the green. The way her chest rose and fell to accommodate her stuttered breathing. He felt his heart beat faster on his chest as a feel of desire ran down his body. Maybe he’s the one who can’t handle it.

Emma blinked rapidly, her eyes losing their dazed quality as she focused on the here and now. She pulled back, removing her face from his touch as he noticed how she had leaned towards him in response.

“Wow, that is good, I almost believed you.” She let out in a shaky laugh, turning around to grab the keys from her back to open the door to their flat. He is thankful for the opportunity to gather some control now that he’s away from her captivating gaze. “I can see that working.”

Should he tell her that, despite having done it many times before, it had never affected him as much as then?

“Well, it worked with you too,” he quipped, putting on his tried and true swagger as he followed her in. “It got me inside your place.”

Her surprised laughter lifts his spirits and has his smile widening. “Right, I mean you did say it would work!”

Killian winked, stuffing his hands in his pockets to stop him from touching her again. “What about you? Anything you do to get them in your room?”

“Well,” Emma started with a smirk, dropping his jacket on the couch and approaching him, causing his fists to clench in his pocket. “It’s all about the hands, right?”

Her eyes lock onto his as she places her hands on his chest. He’s sure she can feel his heart pounding against her palm. “And keeping my voice real low,” She whispers as her hands run up to his shoulders. “As I tell you that I enjoyed our date,” Her fingers whisper over the skin of his neck, a spark running down his body until it reaches his waist, before placing them at the back of his neck. He can feel her fingers play with his hair and her breath against his as she speaks. “And that I would love to go out again.”

The rope that had been holding him back the whole evening breaks as he eliminates the space between them to press his lips against hers, his hands coming out to rest on her hips. Her surprised gasp brings him back to reality, quickly pulling away from her.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers with matching wide eyes. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Yeah, well,” Her voice is shaky and he hates himself for causing her such distress. “I think we let this fake date thing get to us a little bit.”

“I’m really sorry, Swan.” He breathes out.

“Don’t worry about it,” She waves away, running her hands through her hair. “We are just very good at this.”

“Aye.”

“Anyway, I really need to get out of these shoes so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course,” He nods quickly. “Have a good night.”

She backs away towards her room with a small smile. “I had a great time, Killian, thank you.”

“Me too,” He holds his breath until her door closes behind her. He lets it out in a rush, his hands coming up to rub at his face as a panic starts to rise in his chest.

He was in love with his best friend. That’s when true hell began.

Despite his realization, Killian decided to follow Emma’s lead. She didn’t bring up their ‘date’ and what happened after and neither did he. They carried on as normal for the next couple of months, as he carried on his role as her devout friend.

His date with Ariel only served to cement his feelings towards Emma. While a lovely and gorgeous girl, he missed the desire and affection that had been so natural when he had been with Emma. It made it all clearer. Especially when he couldn’t bring himself to bring her to his room.

So he ignored the way his heart beat faster in his chest whenever she drew near, whenever they touched. He forced down his desire to hold her a little tighter, touch her a little longer, kiss her, love her. He pushed it all down because she was his best friend and he would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all.

---

“God, this kid is killing me,” Emma groaned as she all but threw herself onto the couch. “How long until he’s out of me, again?”

“According to your very detailed calendar,” Killian grinned, looking at the calendar stuck to the fridge door. “About 13 weeks.”

“Who was the smart asshole who thought counting it in weeks would help?”

Killian laughed, watching as Emma pouted before shuffling on the couch trying to get comfortable. “Does 3 months sound like less time?”

Her displeased groan was his only answer and the following glare at his responding laugh had him extremely glad that she didn’t have magical powers.

“I’m sorry, love, will a foot rub help?”

Her assessing gaze had him brightening his already dazzling smile. She sighed and he counted it as a victory. “Damn you, Jones, you always know what to say.”

Killian winked. “It’s one of my many talents.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Emma rolled her eyes but her smile took all the heat away from it, specially as she shook her feet out of her slippers. “Just come here.”

Killian grinned as he sat on the coffee table, a pillow on his lap to accommodate her aching feet. He took hold of her ankles, carefully pulling her feet up to his lap. She sighed at the upright position and he waited for her to get comfortable once more.

“Ready?”

“Oh yeah,” Emma smiled in anticipation. “Dazzle me with your skills.”

Killian laughed before finally putting his hands on her feet. He had become accustomed to rubbing her feet after a long day, especially during the latest weeks as they began to hurt more and more. She had protested against it the first time he tried to offer, claiming that she didn’t need to be babied just because she was having one. After she relented, she had basically claimed him as her foot masseur.

He didn’t complain. It made him feel like he was helping, like he was part of it. Besides, he definitely wasn’t complaining at the sounds Emma makes during his foot rubs. Especially when she really got into it. The pillow on his lap wasn’t just for her comfort.

Killian focused on the plot of the coin documentary Mary Margaret made them watch as punishment for the disaster that was David’s bachelor party. Little did she know, it had actually helped him a lot in situations like this.

“Ow!”

Emma’s startled gasp of pain had him quickly pull his hands away from her feet.

“What happened? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, you were doing great,” Her face scrunched up in pain as her hands roamed her belly and sides before settling at the front of her abdomen. “I just felt this sharp pain.”

“Maybe you should lie down.”

“Yeah, may- Ah!” He took hold of her ankles once more to put them back down as she tried to curl in pain. “Okay,” She winced in pain as she felt another sharp pain. “I’m kinda freaking out, Killian!”

“I’m sure it’s all going to be alright, Emma, but,” he continued as she opened her mouth to argue with him. “Why don’t we go to the hospital to get it checked out? I’ll text Neal on the way.”

Emma nodded quickly, taking hold of his hands to stand up from the couch, letting go to place them on her abdomen once more. “Oh god!”

“Emma,” he called, placing his hand under her chin to bring her eyes up to his. “It’s going to be alright, trust me.” Even with fearful eyes, she nodded, her trust in him comforting as he smiled. “Let’s go.”

She took his hand as he led her out of the flat, gripping it painfully as she gasped in pain.

“Bloody hell!”

“Same here, buddy.”

---

Killian wondered if it was possible to wear out tiled flooring with all the back and forth pacing he was doing in the hospital’s waiting room. Of course, all of that stopped mattering when the consultation room’s door opened to an annoyed but no longer in pain Emma.

“So?”

“She’s fine,” The doctor answered as she walked out behind Emma who couldn’t help her eye roll. In any other moment he would have smiled at that. “Those were just Braxton Hicks contractions, they are contractions in the uterine wall not unlike labor contractions.”

“Yeah, so fine is an understatement, don’t you think?”

Again, if looks could kill.

“So, everything is normal?” Killian directed at Doctor Lucas - according to her coat - hoping Emma would forgive him for ignoring her comment. “And the baby is fine?”

“Absolutely, it can be a very scary situation but they are both fine.”

“Thanks, doc.” Emma smiled, a thin smile but thankful nonetheless. Doctor Lucas gave them a final smile and a nod before returning to her office.

Emma sighed, placing her hands on Killian’s arms. “Thank you, Killian, I couldn’t have done this if you hadn’t been so calm.”

“Calm?!” He exclaimed, his hands gripping her wrists. “I have never been more scared in my whole life!”

“What?” Her mouth parted as her eyes widened in surprise. “But you said everything would be alright.”

“I’m not a doctor, Swan, I don’t know anything!”

“But we are fine, it’s all okay.”

His hands moved from her wrists to grasp onto her hands. “Are you sure?”

Her smile both calmed his racing heart and created a flutter in his belly. “Yeah, all good.”

Killian wrapped his arms around her tightly while minding the baby between them, feeling all his worries leave him as her fingers played with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Hey,” Neal’s voice interrupted their hug and Killian stuck his hands on his back pockets as he took Emma’s hands in his. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s all okay.” She smiled reassuringly.

“Killian’s text said to come to the hospital, what happened?”

“Something called Braxton Hicks contractions.” Killian answered, with a deep breath as he fixed his hair.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Neal’s shoulder dropped in relief as he ran his thumbs over Emma’s hands. “The books say most women don’t even feel them.”

“Alright,” Emma pulls her hands from Neal’s grip to place them on her hips. “No uterus, no opinion.”

Finally, Killian could smile at her glare, mostly because it wasn’t directed at him.

“What took you so long anyway?” Killian asked, hoping to distract Emma’s anger.

“I was having coffee with Tink,” Neal answered, before his eyes widened and he smacked his hand against his forehead. “Shit, she probably thinks I ditched her.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, I checked my messages while she went to the bathroom and didn’t even tell her.”

“She’s gonna kill you,” Killian laughed, stopping when he received a raised eyebrow glare from Emma. “I mean, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”

“Oh,” Her eyes widened in realization. “I gotta go back in there.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Neal asked in succession as he laid his hands on her arms. “Tell me.”

Emma sighed. “I forgot my underwear, okay? Chill.” She answered with a chuckle.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes fondly when Neal let go of her arms to nervously scratch the side of his head. She shared an amused look with Killian before returning to the consultation room.

Neal cleared his throat, turning towards Killian. “Thanks for bringing her to the hospital, man. I really appreciate it.” He nodded, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, mate, it was the least I could do.”

“I just wish it had been me,” Neal sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I mean, I’m the dad.”

It wasn’t easy to forget.

He opened his mouth to reassure his friend when Doctor Lucas came back out of her office. “I got you some information on Braxton Hicks, in case you have any questions,” She smiled politely, handing Killian the papers. “You did the right thing bringing her in, you’re going to make a wonderful father.”

And while Killian’s heart soared at the compliment, there was a weight bringing it back down to the reality of the situation. He glanced towards Neal’s hurt expression before smiling thinly at the doctor. “He’s the father, actually,” Killian corrected, taking the papers from her. “And he knows way more than me about this so I need all the help I can get, thanks.”

“Right, hmm, I’m sorry.”

“No need to worry, you didn’t know,” Neal waved away Doctor Lucas’ apology with a tight smile. “It was an honest mistake.”

As if he didn’t already feel bad enough.

---

“Are you sure you should be doing this?”

“Mary Margaret has been complaining about this door for weeks,” David grunted as he tried to force a screw to leave its place. “She’s going to love me when I fix it.”

“I’m all for helping you make your lady happy, mate,” Killian continued, ignoring David’s unamused glare by adjusting his grip on the door. “I’m just wondering if you’re the right man for the job.”

David stood up, placing his clenched fists on his waist. “Are you saying I’m not man enough to fix a creaky door?”

“Not at all,” Killian quickly answered, holding back his amusement. “You just don’t have the greatest track record when it comes to fixing things. Need I remind you-”

“Don’t even start with the TV incident.” David interrupted before returning to the task at hand.

“I’m just saying, you still owe me 200 dollars.”

“How’s that inappropriate crush on Emma going?” David asked, effectively making him forget about the time he ruined their TV.

The skin behind his ear was tingling and his hands were too busy to scratch at it. “Bloody fantastic,” he gritted out. Sometimes, he still regretted having confided in his best friend. “I just wish I could make all these feelings go away, wish it could all go back to normal.” David sent him a sympathetic gaze and he sighed. “I love having her around, helping out with the baby is amazing but I think Neal is having a hard time with all of this.”

“What do you mean?” David asked with a frown, both at the idea but also with effort.

“I think he feels left out,” Killian answered. “When I took Emma to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father and the look on Neal’s face killed me.”

“It’s not your fault, though, what else were you going to do? You had to take her to the hospital.”

“Aye, but-”

“It’s not your fault,” David repeated insistently. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” He returned to the task at hand, his head tilting to the side and a smirk twitching at his lips. “Except for loving the woman carrying your best friend’s baby.”

“Right,” Killian said bitterly. “Thanks, mate.”

David stood up to his full height and turned to Killian, with a sympathetic expression. “I’m on your side, Killian, you know I am. This is just-”

“Complicated, I know.” Killian sighed.

---

“Check this out.” Emma grinned excitedly as Neal entered their flat.

With a careful motion, she placed a can of Coke on top of her round belly, keeping it balanced. She turned a bright grin towards the two men watching. Killian laughed with her unaware of Neal’s fainter laughter.

“She’s been doing that all day.” Killian teased.

Emma rolled her eyes at him, taking the can back from its resting place. “I should be allowed to have fun with this pregnancy.”

“Of course, love, amuse yourself.”

Emma smiled delightedly, putting down the can on the counter.

“Right,” Neal interrupted. “Emma, I brought you some lunch, I thought-”

“Oh, what is it?” Emma asked, excitedly taking the container from his hand.

“Your favorite.” There was a soft smile on his lips. “Onion rings.”

As Emma opened the container, she quickly pulled it away from her as one of her hands flew to her mouth. “God.” Her muffled groan was his only warning and Killian quickly flew in to grab the container from her hands before she turned and ran - as best she could - to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

“What happened?”

“She can’t eat onion rings anymore,” Killian explained, closing the container again with an apologetic smile towards his friend.

“B-But you love onion rings,” Neal spoke at the bathroom door.

“Not anymore!” Emma groaned out.

“I’m sorry, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine,” Emma coughed, her voice echoing. “Just make sure they’re gone when I come out.”

“Don’t worry, Swan, I’ll get rid of them.” Killian called out, throwing the container in the fridge.

“I can’t believe this,” Neal breathes out, running a harried hand through his hair. “I made her sick.”

“You didn’t know, mate, it could happen to anyone.”

“Not to you,” Neal pointed out. “You know this stuff and you’re not even the father. I should be more involved.”

“Right.”

They both turned to the bathroom when Emma came out, her hands holding her back.

“Onion rings, guys, this kid took onion rings from me,” she pouted.

Neal pressed his lips together in a small smile as he rubbed Emma’s arms. “It’s not long until he’s out here and I’ll give you a lifetime’s supply of onion rings.”

Emma grinned. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Despite the ache in his chest, he knew he had to come up with something to help them. He knew that it would hurt but they would be happy in the long run. And that’s all he wanted - for Emma to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with him.

Killian cleared his throat, catching their attention. “Can I talk to you two for a second?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Emma asked with a concerned frown, even as she settled on the couch with Neal sitting at her side on the arm.

“I wanted to talk about us, the three of us.”

“Are you breaking up with us, dude?” Neal teased.

“You two should live together,” Killian said quickly, wanting to be done as fast as possible. “Because you live with me, I’m always here for the pregnancy stuff, Emma, and Neal is missing it and I know it upsets him.”

“Are you kicking me out?” Emma asked, her voice small as she looks at him with hurt in her eyes. He feels his heart breaking into a million pieces.

“No!” Killian quickly reassures, his hands in front of him. “I love living with you but,” He takes a deep breath. “If you’re going to have a roommate, it should be your baby’s father.”

“I mean, he has a point.” Neal agrees and Emma turns to him with a surprised look.

“Neal, are you sure this is a good idea?” She frowns. “It’s always been complicated between us.”

“I know but, he’s right, I hate missing out on all of this pregnancy stuff,” Neal sighs. “If we lived together, I could be there for you to help.”

“I don’t know…” Emma’s frown deepened as she glanced at Killian.

He had to cross his arms over his chest so that he wouldn’t reach out to her, beg her to ignore him and stay. Stay with him forever. But he couldn’t.

“We’ll give it a try,” Neal tries, his hand laying on her round belly. “For him.”

He watched as Emma pressed her lips together, not pleased with the argument but being convinced by it. Her hand rested over Neal’s and Killian had to look away, uncomfortable at the intimate scene, aching over Emma’s departure.

Neal would be a good father, he trusted that at least. They had bonded over the disappointing father figures in their lives when they first met so he knew he wouldn’t want to make the same mistakes as his father had made. But, despite his love for his friend, he didn’t fully trust him to not screw things up - he had betrayed Emma before.

But he wanted to give them a chance. To give the baby a chance at a family without a devilishly handsome bloke taking up space where he doesn’t belong.

“Okay,” She whispered before clearing her throat. “We’ll give it a try.”

“Great!” Neal grinned brilliantly, kissing Emma’s forehead before turning to pat Killian’s shoulder, almost too strongly. “That was a great idea, man.”

He really wished he didn’t have such great ideas.

---

Killian let the rum wash down his throat, enjoying the sting of it.

“Hey,” David greeted as he walked into the flat, receiving a head tilt as a response. “Emma all moved out? How are you taking it?”

“I’m doing brilliantly, mate,” Killian answered, a forced smile on his face as he leaned back on the couch. “I can drink rum again, I had to stop drinking because even just the smell made her sick, but since she’s not here…” He raised his glass in a salute before downing it. “I can make all the noise I want, bring back whoever I want, I could have sex in the living room!”

“Killian-”

“I can walk around naked,” He continued, standing up from the couch, gesturing wildly with his hands. “I can have an orgy in the house, I can scream, I can dance, I can do whatever I want!” He was almost manic as he all but threw his glass onto the coffee table. “I can rest easy knowing that I reunited a happy family. Maybe they’ll invite me to the wedding too, I can even officiate!”

“Dude, are you okay?”

“I’m a fucking hero, David,” he spat out. “I know that it was wrong to love her but I do. And I let her go because it’s the right thing to do, I lost my chance. If I ever even had one…It doesn’t matter. I’m better on my own, I can go back to my whorish ways and I can stay alone in this flat forever.”

“You’re not going to be alone.” David reassured him, approaching him.

“I will never love anyone like I love her, that much is true,” Killian sighed, burying his fingers in his hair and pulling on it to try and stop his tears. “I’ll go back to how it was before and I’ll be here to watch her be happy with someone else. And that will be fine because that’s all I want… for her to be happy.” He finished in a barely audible whisper.

David’s arms wrapped around him in an instant, his hand on the back of his head in that way that made everyone feel safe and loved. Killian returned his best friend’s hug, burying his face on his shoulder as he let his tears fall.

“You did the right thing, Killian,” David whispered, tightening his hold at Killian’s tearful scoff. “I know it hurts but I’m so proud of you. You’ll be okay and you won’t be alone, not while you have me.”

His arms wrapped tighter around David and he let the embrace tape all his broken pieces back together. He willed it to be enough.

second and final chapter posting tomorrow! hope you enjoyed!

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