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irl-clarice-starling · 3 months

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Maybe it's just my proximity to middle age, but for my money, Halsin is the most attractive romanceable character in BG3 by a mile. He's kind. He's courteous. He takes responsibility for his mistakes and undertakes to fix them without roping you into a bunch of drama about it and then goes on to help you save the world just because he likes you. He's a leader with a healthy ambivalence about leadership. He's effectively an eco-socialist with deep and abiding convictions about the treatment of the underprivileged, especially children. He is passionately romantic about you while also decrying the constraints and jealousies compulsory monogamy. AND he's built like a brick shithouse and will fuck your brains out. I'm just not seeing what's not to love about this man.

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irl-clarice-starling · 3 months

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Anon asked: mayhaps an astarion x (fem) reader who’s a really powerful wizard 👀 she just wants to help her man with her horrifying powers 😤🤚

Say uhh LESS. I'm in.

Pairing: Astarion x Wizard!Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: A described cough. Hella spoilers for unascended Astarion and like... all of BG3.

A/N: Look y'all I'm a D&D nerd since I was like 11, I use a lot of homebrew content in my games, and I'm obviously gonna transfer that over to my writing. Please enjoy, if there are any grammar errors or anything just shoot me a message and I'll be happy to fix it!

The Sunwalker

Sure learning your trade took the entirety of your childhood, bargaining with deities that never had a direct line of contact with you unless it worked in their favor and countless years of schooling yet to come. But becoming a wizard of your home in Candlekeep, the mysterious city filled with knowledge and spired fortresses. You pride yourself in being one of the most accomplished wizards in the city, consistently having new faces appear in your lectures that you only knew rivaled a certain wizard based in Waterdeep.

It was a night after one of your lectures that you found yourself abducted, stuffed into a nautiloid and infected with a magical illithid tadpole. It took what felt like eons to fight your way out of your predicament and find yourself finally at the end of your adventure out on the docks of Baldur’s Gate overlooking the Sword Coast. Your life had been so straight forward for the weeks that the tadpole had infected you, it was almost a blessing you thought. Finally you had a reason to leave your home, not feeling as though you were stuck in your tower and finally having the sense that you had accomplished something that changed the world. This unfortunate event brought you to him.

With the weight off your shoulders of becoming a mindflayer you completely forgot the benefit the parasite brought to your partner. As you turned to Astarion hoping to see his matching smile, you were met with a face of anguish and fear. The ash rising into the air caused your heart to drop into your stomach.

“What the- oh gods. Oh no.” His glazed over eyes bore into yours almost as if to say goodbye. Your mouth opened hoping to reassure him but he continued before a thought was able to be formed.

“Well… it was nice while it lasted.” The fear in his voice was ever present, as quickly as he began his words he shot off into the city looking for a dark corner to hide in. After everything you had gone through, taking down Cazador and facing his past, he was back where he started. Hiding in the shadows.

No. You shook your head. There has to be something I can do. Research. We have to find a way to get him his life back. You had made that promise to him, it was time to live up to it, regardless of how long it takes.

It started in the cellar, you had promised Astarion you would stay by his side no matter what and you were going to see this promise through. Three months, it had been three months since you had returned to Candlekeep, newly minted free-willed vampire in tow.

Astarion made his home in your tower, pretending to be a helpless princess during the day after you had insisted on every window being backed out. It took countless nights, and a lot of coaxing but in the end you finally had options. There was one particular night where you woke up in a cold sweat, disturbing him from his meditation.

“Star, please.” You pleaded.

“No no no! No way am I going out like THIS. If you expected a “thank you” for making me look like a Sharran, you’re sorely mistaken.” He stood in front of you, dressed head to toe in a cloak of darkness, only showing part of his eyes. Astarion didn’t take your suggestion well and you could tell under the layers that he was absolutely fuming.

A few nights later he gained consciousness only to find you perched over a grimoire that glowed like the sun. He felt the pit in his stomach, feeling guilt for being the reason you hadn’t had a good rest for ages. Then he heard a snore. To say that caught his attention is an understatement, there was a grin playing on his lips with a chuckle threatening to bubble out from his throat.

“Darling?” He asked, slowly padding his way to your sleeping form.

You had a response ready but only heard a mumble come out. Your mind is too preoccupied in the sweet slumber you’ve been overdue for. Astarion took his chance to place a thick blanket over you, knowing you’d freak out with him carrying you to bed.

The warmth hit your body in a layer of relaxation, what you hadn’t noticed was the beginning words of an incantation you were unconsciously performing.

“O anulum facultatem ambulandi em sole, notum fac te ut demean te.” Your words went in and out, Astarion thought you were trying to speak to him. His eyebrow rose as he understood some words, taken aback he began his descent down the tower to go on his hunt.

“Why are you asking for a ring? I mean I would get you one but…” He ensured the security charms were still up before blowing out the last candle and leaving the tower. Each step further from you caused the pang of guilt to grow deeper in his stomach. You were doing so much for him, someone who would have killed you in the past. Why me?!

With your tower now in the distance he hadn’t noticed the radiant light pouring out from the upper decks of the tower with a loud boom.

The sunlight hit your face at the right angle, filtering in from behind the tapestry you’d hung up over the window ages ago.

Something tastes funny.

The metallic flavor in your mouth was sending your senses into a fritz upon waking. Had you not coughed you wouldn’t have noticed, you had to get your bearings, standing and leaning over your desk. Mouth agape, almost heaving over the surface and shutting your eyes to brace for something you didn’t know.

A clatter.

You tried to wipe the sleep from your eyes but were in a shock as you took in the details of the ring that you had held in your mouth for nearly the whole night. Pure gold with different personifications of the sun placed around it.

“I… what?!” The grimoire you read last night was still open to the page you had left on.

Ring of the Sunwalker This ring can be worn by anyone, not giving any seeming bonus. However, when it is worn by a vampire or a being with sunlight sensitivity, they no longer take damage from sunlight.

Astarion had begun running to your shared room the second he heard your struggled chokes. He was half expecting to see you collapsed on the floor in pure agony. But the dopey look on your face was enough to break him from his state.

“W-what did you do?!”

“This.” You held up the ring, your smile growing more enthused, causing Astarion to scrunch his face.

“If this is a proposal I’m not sure if I’d accept you see I—”

“Shut up.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Astarion, give me your hand. Please.” There was a pleading tone in your voice that gutted him.

His hand was held out, almost shaking with the anticipation of what was to happen next. You held onto him, going up to your observation deck, the last length of the hallway completely blacked out.

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he reached for the door, tears brimming in his eyes. The warmth of the sun meeting his skin like a hug from an old friend.

“You damned wizard. You actually did it.”

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irl-clarice-starling · 4 months

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yall remember when david harbour played that slutty ass santa in violent night

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irl-clarice-starling · 5 months

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irl-clarice-starling · 1 year

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like father, like son

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irl-clarice-starling · 1 year

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GONCHAROV (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“It funny because for many years people thought Goncharov was the main antagonist of the film, after all, he’s the one everyone’s out to get, right? But it seems people are starting to understand that in actual fact, it is time that is the main adversary in this story. There’s never enough of it and that torments a lot of characters, especially Goncharov, because he’s fighting so desperately to find his place in a world that is so keen on keeping him ostracized.”

[template by @bitchronan]

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irl-clarice-starling · 1 year

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out of touch thursdin

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irl-clarice-starling · 1 year

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me every time the hannibal camera angles make it seem as though will graham is straddling you and killing you : 😳😳😳

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irl-clarice-starling · 2 years

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1x01 || 3x13

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irl-clarice-starling · 2 years

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Part Two of Making of The Black Phone gifs

Tags; @marisyworks @legendarydinosaurhologram @hxnnigrxms

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irl-clarice-starling · 2 years

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con o’neill quote retweeting tentacle porn with the quote ‘looooove it’ and then a half hour later deleting it remains one of the funniest fucking things ever to happen on twitter

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irl-clarice-starling · 2 years

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Just realized the front of blackbeard's pants have separate front buttons from the waist, presumably to open a flap so he can pee without taking off his accessories. Fan artists... Do with this what you will...

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irl-clarice-starling · 2 years

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