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innerclockwork · 2 years

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Elton John Caswell wanted to feel like enough.

In Season 1, he’s kind of a villain but he wants to change and tries and fails a lot. He says of himself:

“…the only thing I’m really proud of in my time with Nini was letting her go.”

In Season 2, he grew closer to Gina who directly acknowledged to him that she saw how much he tried and let him know it was okay if he didn’t fully succeed.

Gina: I see someone who tries really hard to do the right thing. He fails a lot. But he keeps trying.

EJ: That’s what you think of me?

Gina: EJ, you are a really good guy. Maybe if you just forgave yourself a little, you would see what I…the rest of us see.

He almost loses his second chance because Jamie Porter made him think he wasn’t enough, made him think he had been wrong about putting himself out there again. But Gina made him realize he was worth her time.

In Season 3, within 24 hours, two very important people tell EJ he is not enough. Gina told him that despite his attempts at trying, it wasn’t enough for her to stay with him (the day before one of the biggest challenges of his young life).

Gina: I think the problem is that “maybe” isn’t good enough for me right now. (“Camp Prom”)

The next day, we find out that his dad has never told him that he’s proud of him and doesn’t care about anything we saw him work towards all season.

EJ to his Dad: “But just once in my life, I want to hear you’re proud of me.” (“Let It Go”)

A month later, the documentary of a show he was hopefully proud of is a hot mess and he has to be the bigger person to the same guy who dated his previous ex-girlfriend. He acknowledges before he exits that

“…you don’t have to be sorry, I think we all saw this coming. “

So you think back to all those moments during summer where he was trying to do his best to do the one thing he thought he needed to do well, making mistakes with not prioritizing his girlfriend (overestimating with full faith, for once, that she probably understood), but also getting to see this guy who has no responsibilties get to go off and have fun with her and all their other friends. So every time we saw him jealous and hurt, he was probably wondering if he was enough. And so we find out that while outwardly EJ was trying for a future with Gina and trying to show his dad that he was a leader without his stupidly named school, inwardly, he was really fighting for external validation of his worth.

But the problem, dear reader, is that he had it - or at least the start of it. He faced his Dad about not going to a school he didn’t belong in and a future he wasn’t certain he wanted - pulling himself away from being defined by his father. He faced his fear of opening his heart with someone who truly saw him (failure and all) and who we could see made each other genuinely happy when they were on the same page.

I don't need a love confession to know that EJ Caswell loves/loved Gina Porter.

He started S3 at a place he loved with people he loved…and there’s no reason he couldn’t have had it. No narrative reason that he and Gina couldn’t have enjoyed the same space with each other and had an angsty, but heart-felt break up at the end because summer was over and they had to go their separate ways. No reason that Gina couldn’t have found her assertive voice to be the one to bring it up. No real reason we couldn’t have seen a true friendship develop with Ricky while adding heightened drama as Ricky realized he was falling for Gina. And…when the cards fell, no reason he needed to say any “brother” line to close out S3.

But most importantly, no reason Elton John Caswell needed to feel that what he was giving was not enough because he’s the guy that tries really hard to do the right thing and he fails a lot but he’s a really good guy.

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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I have so many thoughts about the HSMTMTS finale but for now I’ll say this:

The fact they gave Gina the speech was the most ridiculous decision the show has ever made. You’ve honestly got to be joking??? I don’t know if that’s because Ricky already gave Nini a speech in season one, or, what, but Gina has already laid out her feelings to him multiple times.

“You’re not a maybe to me” — yea NO DUH, that was established when she spilled her guts multiple times and then cried over him for a bunch of episodes? After everything they’ve been through RICKY NEEDED TO BE THE ONE TO LAY OUT HIS FEELINGS FOR HER. And to twist the Portwell breakup to make it work for that speech … come on. Her breakup with EJ felt so weird and that’s because it was all so it would fit another narrative even though it made NO SENSE. If Gina didn’t want to be with EJ because of their age difference or even because of Ricky fine but don’t try and cram in that she was a “maybe” because she is literally all EJ wanted.

And don’t even get me started on the treatment of EJ who literally lost two girls the exact same way to the exact same person and then still called Ricky his brother, celebrated his birthday and walked away. All while directing a show alone, with no help, dealing with a hateful dad, and having to play a donkey in a play when Ricky gets the lead for shows he doesn’t even know the names of the character for.

I literally hated everything about that storyline in the finale and I am just … flabbergasted Ricky wasn’t the one to be honest with Gina about his feelings. I’m shook so hard by that.

What I will say is Big Red and Ashlyn both being queer is dope as hell, I liked that they didn’t magically take away Kourtneys anxiety (even though it needed a rewrite to be less after school special) and Ninis send off was absolutely PERFECT I was sobbing my eyes out I’m so glad she gave Ricky the lotto ticket. Flawless, respectful exit for Olivia Rodrigo.

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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HSMTMTS S3E7 Rant

RANT Ahead!

Why are we treating Kourtney’s anxiety and EJ’s anxiety SO differently?

Kourtney’s worried about bombing on stage, she gets a literal chorus of supportive sisters to help her climb the literal and metaphorical wall.

EJ is worried about his ENTIRE LIFE imploding, and he gets snarky comments from Ricky about how everyone knows he’s stressed, Carlos (who knows the stress of putting on a show) telling him to “just do it at night,” and literally NO ONE just taking the damn script away at the prom. Gina knew exactly where to find him after the last dance, why didn’t she go look for him DURING it? Where is the close relationship he and Ashlyn have had for years? Why is his arc just about “wow, he’s fucking up everywhere”?

YES, EJ made mistakes. YES, he’s terrible at reaching out and asking for help. So was Kourtney. But she got support, and EJ didn’t. And I think Kourtney DESERVED the help! But why didn’t EJ?

To be clear, this isn’t about the Portwell breakup. I think Gina has some very valid points about them being in different places and feeling unsure about the future, and all those feelings are incredibly valid and real. I think they came a bit out of nowhere and wish we’d been actually addressing those issues all season instead of these GIGANTIC external factors that they keep dropping onto this couple, so it felt a bit unearned, but that part isn’t the problematic part for me.

I CAN’T get behind the way the narrative has treated EJ and diminished what HIS experience of anxiety has been time and time again.

It feels like a very gendered lens on mental health, honestly, and I’m not here for it.

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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Alright y’all the r*nas are coming for me, it was nice knowing you lmao

#portwell

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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Okay sorry one more thing - y’all know that none of this would be happening if Olivia wasn’t leaving the show.

What I liked about HSM and Camp Rock were that it was easy to understand who to root for. There may have been “villains” or antagonists, but there was never a point where I questioned if Gabriella and Troy were meant to be together, or that Shane and Mitchie would resolve their conflict.

That consistency is severely lacking with this season. In S1/S2, you knew that Rini as the central couple would be destined for each other. Even when they broke up, I’m sure most of us assumed they would get back together because there was truly NO ONE else who stood a chance.

Now season 3 feels like a cheap shot to let Ricky continue being the male leading love interest at the expense of other people.

#portwell

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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Why are the writers literally just throwing away all of EJ and Gina’s development this season?? They spent SO long carefully developing how much EJ was there for Gina in season two; showing up for her and making her trust again. Why would they spend SO LONG doing that, literally a whole season, only to just… turn around and almost immediately ruin it. They made it- what, two episodes? Of being happy.

All because the writers want R*cky to be the main character. Don’t get me wrong, I like R*cky! He’s a fine character. (I’m only censoring his name so this isn’t sent where someone will see it and be upset.) But that’s such a crock of shit. Why doesn’t EJ deserve happiness? He’s literally fighting to be with Gina. Could he focus more on spending time with Gina? Of course he could! But he does really care about her

I’m just. So annoyed and disappointed in where this show is headed. Is it a little irrational to be this worked up about this show? Sure. But I’m just really annoyed that the writers made us care so much about Portwell only to immediately ruin them

Edit: please don’t interact with this if you’re a R*na fan. I don’t care about any arguments you may have. I’m just getting this off my chest

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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OH AND ONE MORE THING. The whole premise of EJ and Gina getting together last season was the idea based on the idea of second chances. LIKE THE SONG. THAT THEY SANG.

EJ had a second chance at putting other people before himself after a pretty brutal/tumultuous relationship with Nini in S1. Gina had a second chance at making a home for herself after protecting herself/being too independent to be vulnerable.

And THEY BOTH had a second chance at LOVE after their respective crushes/partners ended things with them during the first season.

And what Tim and the writers are basically saying in terms of both of their character arcs is that second chances are meaningless. WHICH I HATE

#portwell

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innerclockwork · 2 years

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This is my first HSMTMTS post! I wish it were under better circumstances. Venting here about 3x06. They’ve done EJ so dirty with this entire season.

We had such a healthy, slow build up to EJ and Gina getting together. Enemies to lovers excellence - from the plane ticket to the quince to North High to the airport. They both grew out of their 1.0 ways together, and they fell for each other in the process. EJ was the guy that showed up and Gina learned that she was worth it.

And now I’m just so disappointed. At first I thought this was a Shane/Mitchie or Gabriella/Troy parallel for camp rock 2 or hsm 2. EJ would be too busy with the show to value his relationships, but he would come to his senses and rebuild them.

But it feels like the further we get from their honeymoon phase, the more it feels like this is the point of no return. I mean, come on, waiting for fireworks? Rejecting a promposal? They’ve turned EJ from this guy that has learned the power of friendship and selflessness in S1/S2 and completely flipped it on it’s head. And Gina is the one who is suffering because of it.

I don’t know if they can recover from this. And it breaks my heart because both characters had it so good before. I’m not sure if Tim intended to do this so Matt Cornett could be written off the show for S4 (being a graduate and all), but if this is the way he goes, I’m NOT happy.

I don’t want to slander Rina here, but I’m just getting tired of EJ being the constant villain. He is a good person! And he is stressed! But they’re making him out to be the bad guy!

TLDR; if anyone wants to commiserate together let me know

#portwell

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innerclockwork · 4 years

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