ineffablecrisp
Crispy's Innefable Brainrot
any pronouns I queer I NVLD I jewish I multifandom brainrot
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Aaaah this was so cool!!
I mean I wouldn鈥檛 say I鈥檓 adaptable to change cause every time change happens I get upset and cry BUT everything else is pretty silly!!
@mavernick @icemankazansky86 @blazingstar29
Being completely honest, this does fit me, scarily so even lol. I'm a quite chill perfectionist, very self-critical and, despite always organising the hang-outs, my friends have to force to actually attend them lmaoo.
Here's the link!!
So, thank you @virgo-dream, for this, it was lovely to do and I enjoyed it immensely. I'm tagging @tj-dragonblade @cannibalhellhound @aquilathefighter @altair214
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I may be asexual鈥ut my ao3 isn鈥檛
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Top 5 Iceman Kazansky eras
Oh my God, this is inspired.
Lessee.
In chronological order:
USNA Valedictorian and Most Valuable Player (Varsity Lacrosse and Intramural Sex) Era
Work hard, play hard. Ice did his share of grinding in high school, excelling in academics and balancing as many extracurriculars as possible, but now he's out of his family home, and he can come into his own. Between his Navy work and the extra rigors of playing Division 1 sports, as well as the natural effects of aging, Ice is going to bulk up, lose his puppy fat, and get Stupid Hot. Now that he doesn't have the confines of being a minor living with your parents, he's also going to have the opportunity to slut it up properly. I love this for him.
Top Gun Era
Waist: Snatched. Patience: Nonexistent. He's the best, he knows he's the best, and he's looking his best. Cannot stop serving cunt for a single second. This man is a 24/7 cunt buffet with a heart of gold and a smile made of actual sunshine.
Hot Shot Era
For several years after TOPGUN (probably at least a decade), Ice is going to spend his life as an active duty pilot, in demand and the best of the best. He gets to prove his mettle, hone his skills, and fuck Maverick in aircraft carriers and exotic locales all over the world. I believe they refer to these as glory days. You're doing amazing, sweetie.
Dad Jeans Era
As he ages and is promoted away from flying full time, Ice is going to be less competitive as a reflex. That razor's edge he's maintained so long is going to get sanded down, and he'll become more comfortable with his place in life and the people with whom he shares it, and be more comfortable going without that icy mask, be more comfortable showing his softness. He's going to buy some sweaters. He's going to take some vacations. Maybe he'll pick up some hobbies. He'll buy a bird feeder. He's going to go full DILF.
Growing Old Together
A well-earned retirement for the man who was one of the world's best pilots, one of the highest-ranked military leaders in the world, and an Olympic gold medalist in sex. Sweater Ice is going to enter silver fox mode. He's going to retire and relax for five fucking minutes. He's going to learn to use Do Not Disturb mode on his phone. He's going to install a porch swing on the front porch of his forever home with Maverick. He's going to read books for pleasure, savoring them slowly the way he hasn't been able to in years. He's going to join the AARP and get discounts at restaurants once he's able to eat normally again after cancer and chemo. He and Maverick are going to take long vacations together, just the two of them, doing things they've wanted to do their entire lives. It's well deserved, Admiral.
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Val Kilmer 鉂勶笍
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It鈥檚 that time of year again! Passover is finally here which means it鈥檚 time for my annual rewatch of my favorite Val Kilmer film!
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Important announcement:
I now own a teensy weensy little P-51 Mustang
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someone just told me that Jews can鈥檛 use the term diaspora because we don鈥檛 have a. Original homeland. We invented the fucking term we.invented.the.term aaaaaa!
how Jews are born:
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...so odds are carole and goose at least tried sex with mav once, but i dunno if people are ready for that conversation
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The fact that JVP is organizing an antizionist gathering for PASSOVER is so fucking funny jdfbjhfbkjhqbf yes lets celebrate this very clearly ANTIZIONIST event where Jews left Egypt and roamed the desert to get to uuuuuh Europe? New Zealand? A very mysterious location definitely not in uuuuh Zion.
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Soviet!Ice Headcanon 3/?
(also in this kinda maybe AU Sarah is his sister)
An idea I've been playing around with that I kinda briefly mentioned in the last post about this was Ice's family becoming religious after immigrating to the United States.
After the fall of the Soviet Union, there were many Jews who became religious through the Chabad movement, now that they were able to be more open about religion. Most, if not all, religious Jews in my community became religious this way.
And bringing this back to Ice, I've kinda been exploring some scenarios in which his family decides to take on more religious observances.
It starts off small, like being invited to the local Modern Orthodox shul by someone helping them assimilate into their new lives in America. They do have a hard time following along with the liturgy since they barely speak English yet, but the Rabbi is kind and invites the Kazansky family to learn more about Judaism.
This leads to Ice and Sarah attending Hebrew School with all the other kids in the shul. At first they feel like outsiders since they haven't had as much exposure to Torah as the other kids, but they quickly warm up to it and even improve their English when interacting with everyone.
Ice ends up having a Bar Mitzvah, even if it's a bit later than the other boys. He doesn't mind- he finally feels connected and like he found a missing part of himself.
(quick little note that around Ice's time, Jewish males didn't get circumcised as many traditions were pretty much abandoned in order to fit in)
Over time, his family as a whole takes on more religious observances. Ice and his father start wearing a kippah and tzitzit, and his mom experiments with covering her hair. They begin to keep kosher and keep Shabbat.
Unfortunately, becoming more visibly Jewish made Ice even more of target at school. Aside from being called a communist, his peers have taken to calling him a wide variety of Jewish slurs, and have even removed his kippah from his head numerous times.
By the time Ice gets to the academy, he becomes so fed up with the taunting that he starts to hide his observances. He doesn't wear a kippah, and tucks his tzitzit into his pocket (I imagine he got some kind of exemption for religious purposes for him to even be wearing a kippah and tzitzit in the first place). He davens in secret, hoping nobody finds out.
Eventually Slider starts noticing there's something off about Ice. Mainly, why he never consumes meat and cheese at the same time, and why he always disappears at certain times of the day. He confronts Ice who's initially panicking because he thinks Slider is about to say something nasty. But he doesn't. And for the first time, Ice finds himself opening up about his experiences and tells Slider everything. From that moment on, Slider vowed to always look after Ice, no matter what.
When they get to Top Gun, Ice still isn't comfortable enough to wear a kippah in front of everyone, but has started to wear baseball caps as a head covering when he's out of uniform (this also gave me an idea of Ice wearing a baseball cap during the volleyball scene which probably isn't very practical, but at least the sun isn't in his eyes). The tzitzit stay tucked in his pockets.
When he admits to himself and later Slider that he wants something more with Maverick, he's hesitant to pursue a relationship with him because of his observances. He's terrified but as he starts getting closer with Maverick, he finds himself opening up more and more about his struggles of being visibly Jewish.
It is a few years into their relationship when Ice feels ready to once again wear a kippah in public. He figures that if it wasn't for his boyfriend's support and encouragement, he never would have done it. From the very beginning of their relationship Ice has been firm in his wants to keep his observances. He teaches Maverick about the laws of kashrut so they can keep a kosher kitchen. Maverick doesn't mind, even if he was initially confused. They also find a synagogue nearby for Ice to attend.
By the time they're getting ready to be married Ice doesn't strictly consider himself to be Orthodox due to the fact that his marriage to a man wouldn't be seen as legit. He finds a more egalitarian synagogue that does accept queer Jews (also since the mechitzah doesn't do anything for him as he pays more attention to boys instead of girls) and for the first time, he is able to bring Maverick as his boyfriend, instead of his "friend." He fulfills his dream of standing underneath a chuppah as he gets lost in his now-husband's eyes and thinks back at how everything came to be.
#top gun 1986#jewish tom kazansky#pete maverick mitchell#ron slider kerner#icemav#yeahhhhhhhh so this took me a hot sec to write and is way longer than i planned but i'm never capable of writing anything short
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today i learned that there is MATZAH THAT ISN'T KOSHER FOR PASSOVER??? WHY. WHY. IT HAD ONE JOB. I AM LOSING MY MIND. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
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Ice invites the RIOs and his Wingman for Pesach.
I don鈥檛 care what you say 馃槫 Goose lives
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If people give shit to Mav because nobody believes he's married to someone with a boring name like Tom, when they ask Iceman who he's married to and he answers Pete, everybody smiles along, and yeah, yeah, it does make sense. Pete could be a lawyer, a kindergarten teacher, a doctor or a botanist, it wouldn't be very relevant because Pete is the man Admiral Kazansky goes on trips with, to hike in Yellowstone Park and to skydive that time he was bored and without anything to do. Pete is the man who sometimes makes him lunch and always, always, leaves little silly notes in the admiral's jacket when he has long meetings and conferences outside the national border. Pete, who asked Tom to marry him back in '91 and said yes when Tom asked in '11. Pete is a calm, normal, borderline boring, and composed person who loves the Admiral and likes a peaceful and relaxed life.
Yeah, exactly that Pete.
(But then Tom introduces his husband to them, and they can be admirals or secretaries or janitors alike, and everyone thinks that they really really don't know Admiral Kazansky at all.)
((Mav's favourite story is about that time Ice introduced him to Admirals Simpson and Cain. Years later, he's still crying for how much he laughs when he tells the tale.))
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VAL KILMER
馃摲 Walter Mcbride
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the right side of my neck, still smells like you~
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SOON
#almost time for my annual rewatch of my favorite val kilmer film#i love him have i mentioned that yet?#anyways i love val kilmer in case it wasn't already obvious#val kilmer
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Yeahhhhhh as someone who avoids most situations this has come to absolutely no surprise
@sylviefish @mavernick
Alright time for that uquiz I promised (I spent a lot of time on this so y'all better appreciate it). It's just assigning you a horror protagonist trope. Some are a little mean, but it's all in good fun :). Anyway use the little picrew, add your results and tag your mutuals!!
So here's the quiz and here's the picrew. and here's mine:
@justanotherenbyhere, @helinedmightbehere @namelessgodblr-blog @murderandcoffee @rapidlydecayingcorpse @crying-pan420 @sernhuh people I'll probably add later, and anyone else who wants to join!!
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