thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
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Taylor Swift - Down Bad
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Ed Kelce commented on this post, i’m cracking tf up 😭
https://www.instagram.com/p/C5qgNNySuB9/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet
LMFAO
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LONDON BOY (Lover, 2019)
SO LONG, LONDON (The Tortured Poets Department)
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anyway. onto better things
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every taylor swift music video outfit
black and white checkered collar top in style
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Eras Tour surprise songs parallels
February 17, 2024—Melbourne, Australia: Mashup of Getaway Car, august, & The Other Side of the Door / this is me trying
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