December 27, 2017

I’m sorry, I’m simply sorry for not being there when you needed me. I’m sorry for causing you to screw up your current relationship, I did take you for granted many times, but I always loved you and always will you’re just someone I can’t get out of my heart. I miss you constantly but I’ll never tell anyone that because word gets around too quick. My intentions were to not scare you into staying with me in the fear that I would kill myseld. There’s a difference in someone that’s clinically depressed and one that fakes it. When we were together I was at the lowest point in my life when it comes to being depressed. You were literally all I had and even if you think I never loved you then you’re wrong. I want the best for you cliffy I’m sorry about everything in the past but I’m changed now. You have to understand what I was going through it’s a never ending battle and you can only try to control it. My reasoning for making up excuses not to see you were simply anxiety. I never wanted to be around you while I was in that kind of mental state. I hate that you feel about me the way you do now. If I could take everything back and fix it in a heartbeat I would. Nobody makes me feel the way you do and every time I see your mother and she comes and talks to me about you I just feel awful. I wish I was as mature as I am now back then and had myself fixed back when we were together. You didn’t deserve the person you put up with while we were together so I see why you left. You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted with everything in me. If you see this please keep it to yourself I’m sorry grace.