You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”

i cant believe connie is a filthy homestuck

This guy always takes his chocolate art to the next level!!... Omg!!

(Source)

The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

this wouldn't have happened on the jeremy renner app

All the night scenes in the Fallout show are so dark. They should have lit it like the games and had all of the characters talking to the vault dweller girl have a bright green pip-boy light shining directly in their face

you have a feeling it's going to be a long day

happy homestuck day yall

literally unbelievable that its been 15 years 😭😭😭

It's time

Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it's so fun you'll love it Come into my wine cellar

tumblr is so awesome when i block all the tags for ships i dont like

What the heck is your Tumblr header? Are the girls okay?? What's happening in that picture?? I have so many questions.

It's called FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.jpg and it's the best piece of fanart ever made

And the worst part: Nobody knows who drew it.

op turned reblogs off but this post must live. it must live and spread malignantly .

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

he fucking killed me