Technophobes need to apologise for "just put it in plain English you stupid machine!" because, well for one the decline in accurate error messages in favour of simplicity has contributed to the rise of tech illiteracy, but also because now whenever an "app" has a net connection error it will pop up a box saying something like "oo ooopsie! Your super duper feed went poo poo. We'll try again soon!" which having said to me by a corporation is about 8 million times worse than having to hear the word "network".

Harlivy comm for a friend <3

Actually successful pizza necromancy:

Put it in the oven or toaster oven on like 300-350 for about 5-7 minutes

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

Adggaghsfhs?

The youngest member of the Council of Eternal Beings is actually a 4th grader from Lawton, Oklahoma named Tabby Ogelsvie. She won one of those mail-in contests.

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

My cartoon for this weekend’s Guardian books.

I have one of those robot vacuums but there's a mirror in the house low enough to the ground that the lidar scanner can see a nonexistent room in the reflection so on the navigation map it's generated I have a room that doesn't exist that I have to forbid the vacuum from entering.

I have been somewhat obsessed with the phrase "In what scientists are calling 'pretty gay,'" for many years because of this ancient xkcd

Most sci fi/fantasy: this civil war has been waged for a thousand years. These great houses have ruled the realm for eight thousand years. These two families have been feuding for ten thousand years. This single political institution has stood for twenty-five thousand years.

Animorphs: there is a war waged across the galaxy, waged by countless species. Entire planets have been conquered, entire species have been enslaved. Multiple genocides have been committed, even by the "good guys." It's been going on about, oh, thirty-two years now.

Sorry Ryan creamer works at dropout?????

This Ryan creamer??????

who are you

I am the crumb you all brushed onto the sidewalk. I am the crust you cut away and fed to the dog. I am the trash, the waste, the human detritus you deemed unworthy even as mulch for your yards. I am that which lies beneath nothing, which the outcasts spit upon and curse for their amusement. Who am I? I am the nadir of all life and being, the void beneath rock bottom.

Or if you mean like my job, I’m a motivation poster and pep-talk writer and life coach.