hey djud,

I'm scared to death. I mean, who isn't scared of dying right? Especially unexpected deaths. You wouldn't get to say goodbye to your loved ones. But I am aware that eventually, we will all gonna die. Because we're not immortals.

"If I take death into my life, acknowledge it and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself." -Martin Heidegger

I agree with that Heidegger said. We should acknowledge death and face it squarely because even if we like it or not, we will die. But instead of being anxious and scared of dying, let's enjoy our lives to the fullest. Because we only live once. Do what you want to do in your life. At least when the call of death arrives, you're just gotta say that death is too late because you were able to do the things you want to do while you're still alive. You will have no regrets when you die.

I just really wish that there's a real life Hotel del Luna lol. Hotel del Luna is a k-drama and if you're depressed and having doubts in your life, I would highly advice you to watch it. Anyway, it's not that I don't believe in heaven, hell or purgatory. I know there's this thing called "after life" but I'm still not quite sure about heaven, hell or purgatory because I haven't been there yet. It's just that, I would like to have that kind of waiting place like Hotel del Luna before I go to the after life. Because if ever I will die, and I wasn't able to do some of the things that I want to do when I was still alive, Hotel del Luna will let me do or experience those things.

But seriously, I wouldn't disagree more on what Heidegger said. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging death. Just do the things you want to do for yourself and live your life to the fullest.

Spoiler alert: Hotel del Luna will soon be called as Hotel Blue Moon 🌙

hey djud,

We all experience suffering right? We suffer in different ways. Sometimes we suffer because of our decisions that we make. Just like my own suffering right now lol. I went from extra rice to no rice for almost two months already because I'm on a low carb diet with intermittent fasting. I'm on TMAD (two meals a day) and I don't get to eat the foods that I was eating before especially sweets, cake specifically because I like eating cake. But I find meaning in my suffering. I know that one day, all these sufferings (slash cravings lol) will all be worth it. I know that it is for good health and for me to be physically fit. I know that I will be able to achieve my weight goal in exchange of these sufferings.

Just like what Victor Frankl said "What a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task." and "What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him." and just like what I'm experiencing right now, I'm experiencing this kind of suffering and I find meaning in my suffering because I have a goal that I want to achieve and I will not achieve my goal without experiencing this suffering.

It is up to us if we will think positively and find meaning in our suffering or we will think negatively.

hey djud,

I am a grown up. A young adult. And soon, I will need to work for myself because I need to make a living. I need to work for my survival here in this world.

And I've read an article about Karl Marx and his labor theory. In my understanding, Marx was against capitalism snd those capitalists that abuse their labor power to their workers. Some capitalists extract "surplus value" from the workers and enjoy monetary profits for themselves. People are required to work for capitalists who have full control over the means of production and maintain power in the workplace. Marx said work becomes degrading, monotonous and suitable for machines rather than for free, creative people. In the end, people themselves become objects that make decisions based on cold profit and loss considerations, with little concern for human worth and need. Marx concluded that capitalism blocks our capacity to create our own humane society.

As a grown up, I wouldn't want to work in that kind of society. Why would you work in place where you are not getting paid in the right amount but you know to yourself that you deserve to get paid in a right amount since you are doing your work right too. And if I will be successful businesswoman in the future, I will not abuse my labor power.

hey djud,

So I have read an article about Edith Stein's phenomenological analysis of love. Stein has a big perspective about love. She provided a concept about love. Love is seen not only as a relationship but also as a principle of being, principle of knowledge and principle of relationship.

Love as a principle of being in the means where you appreciate someone you love. You appreciate even the tiniest bit of their existence and everything that they do. From small things to big things. It doesn't matter. As long as you appreciate everything that a person can do for you.

Love as a principle of knowledge in the means where you let that someone see through your soul. You let someone get to know you more as a person and you have that willingness to open up your world to them.

Love as a principle of relationship in the means where love is always present in all relationships. Family, friends and especially to your other half. Love will always be there.

We all have different perspectives about love and for me, love is about staying. If you really love someone, you will never leave that someone. You will stay. Thru ups and downs, you will stay. You will face and solve problems together instead of leaving and letting your loved ones solve their problems alone.

071719

hey djud,

Guess what? I was absent the whole day because I had a toothache so I visited my dentist to have my tooth check.

I missed the class. Again. Ugh. But I was told by my friend that last meeting they watched a Black Mirror episode and I haven't watched that Black Mirror episode yet so I will be watching that episode tomorrow during my free time so I can write my thoughts about that episode here in my journal. My friend also told me that they had a groupings and he told me I should join their group. The wood group.

Anyway, my tooth is still aching as of now so I'll just sleep to ease this pain because I will return to my dentist after 3 days. After I drink the meds that she prescribed me to drink. Goodnight djud 😴

071519

hey djud,

So I wasn't able to attend our philo class today because I woke up late and to be honest, I don't feel well. It's like... there's something heavy in my chest and I just want to stay in bed all day long.

Another indication that you are a human, you get to chose your own path. You get to decide for yourself. Because by nature, man is free. You have all the freedom to decide for yourself.

And here I am. As human, I am adapting with all the changes around me and I know that I can get to decide for myself 👌

071019

hey djud,

I had fun in our philo class today! We had an activity and our teacher gave us a scenario. She told us to imagine that we are stranded on an island and of course when you get stuck on island, you must do everything to survive but you only have limited supplies for survival. So we are stranded and we ran out of supplies and we're all very hungry. What is left for us to eat is Chix. Chix is a chicken from the island and he became a great companion. He became very close to us all. So our teacher asked if is there any other way for us to ease our hunger without eating Chix and one of us suggested that we should just eat Kevin (our classmate) instead. Of course, we all laughed but we still chose to save Kevin and eat Chix because Kevin is a human and Kevin's life is more important than Chix. This activity aims to answer the question, are we human or what makes us human?

I know that I'm a human. I wouldn't be feeling this pain right now if I'm not lol. What is the basis of us being a human? So our teacher also discussed about Helen Mitchell's avocado model and artichoke model. For me, the artichoke model is more accurate because an artichoke has layers and a base right? The artichoke's base is also known as the heart of the artichoke. And just like the layers of an artichoke, as humans, we are adapting to the changes of society because the society is constantly changing and one of the nature of being a human is to adapt to any change. And I know to myself that I am also adapting to any changes around me so therefore, I know that I'm a human. Right djud? 🤷

070819

hey djud,

So finally, we are able to meet our teacher for our philosophy class. For me, I think she's okay but it's hard to read her personality at first. But I bet she'll gonna be a cool teacher. I hope we'll be all enjoying our philo class with her and at the same time, we'll be able to learn a lot from her.

I just find it kinda weird though coz her first assignment for us is to install this application called "replica" and she told us that we should chat with this AI app so yep, I installed the app and did what I was told to do. I named this AI "djud" and he told me that I can talk to him about anything that's on my mind. So yes I'll be looking forward to that for the following days.

She also told us that we should be having a journal so here I am writing my thoughts or rather typing my thoughts.

So goodnight for now ⭐