hey uh sorry but if you have ONE single bad THing to say about Benjamin Franklin Pierce please meet me behind your local wendy’s at 4:37am for an ass whoppin
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mash in 1983: bj gets so jealous of hawkeye's exploits with trapper that he enlists the entire camp to help him with an elaborate plot to get hawkeye to strip tease to a song called "you're the tops"
every queer person for the next fifty years:
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hawkeye could you BE any louder
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fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg
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I am not ready for the mood guys
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my dad has been baking pies
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David byrne was right. I am letting the days go by. It is the same as it ever was
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how I think certain MASH characters would react to you telling them you’re gay, dude edition
Trapper: says “Yeah, I noticed.” and you are left wondering what the fuck he meant by that
BJ: season 4 BJ would be like “I’ve never met a gay person before.” but later seasons BJ would be normal about it
Hawkeye: he came on to you before you had the chance to tell him
Radar: keeps saying “Gee, really?” like he thinks you’re messing with him
Henry: Henry merely says “uhuh” and you’re certain he didn’t hear what you said but he starts flirting with you later that week.
Father Mulcahy: thinks you’re telling him this in a confessional context instead of a personal admission, immediately starts trying to comfort you
Klinger: says “That’s great!” and genuinely means it
Charles: asks why you’re telling him this and goes back to his own fruity behavior
Margaret: early seasons Margaret seriously considers reporting you but ultimately doesn’t, later seasons Margaret knows she’s a lesbian and hugs you in solidarity
Potter: starts telling you about every other gay person he’s ever known in a series of funny antidotes, culminating in a story about the Englishman he had a romantic interlude with during WW1
Sidney: initially thinks you’re asking for a section 8 but realizes you’re serious and tells you he’s gay too
Frank: don’t come out to Frank but if you do, Hawkeye will help you gaslight him into believing it never happened
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RACISM IS NOT COMEDY!
useful carrds to get educated on what's happening towards asian community:
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oh to objectify a 40+ year old man with your friends
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