Something about organs, they're just so soft, warm, fuckable

Idk but the women still hasn't accepted me & like I am praying & asking everyone else to pray for me. Two people recently unfollowed her so I was watching the following count to see if she's active & she did accept another request so idk why not mine ??

I think my account doesn't look real or something since I don't actually use it. So I tried to make it look more real but like I don't like Twitter & don't want to use it.

Her byf wasn't restrictive & said if you request her she is going to assume you're an adult & accept & I feel like idk why I should raise red flags for someone if I'm almost thirty ?? I posted my age to be clear but speculate she isn't checking my follow request every day to see what I'm doing, so it's likely she hasn't seen I at least tried to make that clear.

I considered cancelling & resubmitting the request, but also I don't want to be harassing, so I guess if she doesn't accept by the end of the month I will do that. I've had some women keep me in their requests for months before accepting.

I just don't really understand why all of a sudden pixiv is no longer a good place to post porn so artists want to move to third party apps attached to Twitter ?

I started thinking If prayer & well wishing is not working then I turn to blood magic, but I know that's excessive.

She did strike me as a mentally ill anyway. Her byf carrd though not restrictive screamed tumblr mentally ill- the type of women who randomly block you one day because they thought your posts were off. I know it comes from a vulnerability subtext of social anxiety; having your heart on your sleeve for masses to witness. I saw this exact attitude with a women who was writing porn. While I followed her she mentioned randomly getting embarrassed about the content associated with her in relation to her following count. She mentioned how in the past she has deleted blogs for that reason, I guess she claimed due to association with imposter syndrome & feeling like she couldn't measure up to the content she felt was expected by a large audience. Eventually she locked her blog altogether :(

So I guess with posting to Poipiku anyway, the idea is your mental wellness isn't being marred by the idea of views & interactions, which I get, but obviously you're going to have to face a follower count if you're making people request to follow you...

I don't necessarily feel like this is a hate campaign targeted at me specifically, but I don't understand what I'm doing differently compared to other people who are being accepted ? As I stated with other women on Instagram, sometimes it does take months for some reason for them to clear out their follow requests & register me as a safe or worthwhile individual. I only have ants in my pants personally because she did my favorite doujinshi so it is really important to me to see the catalog of porn she posts... it's really hard for me not to obsess over the whole thing, which makes me look & feel insane.

I know it's hard to be vulnerable like that on the internet & in front of an audience, but it feels like you're already posting anyway, it feels sad from my perspective as a fan to feel like I am being blacklisted from showing support & adoration 😞

I am really in an upheaval about this, but it's only been like three days... it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me specifically & like there is something more I should be doing. I also can't help but feel like I am getting targeted for being a USA since I don't think she speaks English at all & the language barrier makes the whole thing harder for me to understand.

I guess from her perspective it's also odd to get a random person show up in your follow requests from a completely different country you weren't even interacting with. I don't want her to think I'm being malicious or weird, but I feel like there is really only one possible reason I would send the request. Obviously I found her from somewhere & followed the trail here because I wanted to see her art that badly. But maybe to someone like that it reads alarming or off putting ??

I'm just going to keep agonizing.

Anatomical Venus I

有没有想做我的烟灰缸的奴😏

this is batg0tt's best art

They call it slitting someone's throat because you're supposed to fuck the slit afterwards, silly

i neeeed him (to hold my head underwater for 5-7 minutes)

Anatomical Venus I

oc design doodle (they are dating)

why dont you love me anymore