some good consent phrases

“May I hug you?”

“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”

“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”

“How do you feel about (x activity)?”

(When someone’s insecure about having said no and asks if it’s okay/if you’re mad or upset they said no) “I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m really glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). That’s really important to me. Thank you.”

“I’d ALWAYS rather be told no than make you feel pressured or do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”

(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”

(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”

“Can I vent a little about (x)?”

“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”

“Are you comfortable talking about it?”

“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”

“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”

“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)

Consent culture - it’s about way more than just sex!

Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.

Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met - remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.

A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and being refused consent is a healthier and safer person.

the person we elect on tuesday will represent this country for 4 years. don’t let it be the guy who spews degrading comments 24/7

psa to skinny people:

if a fat person refers to themself as fat do NOT jump in and say things like “nooo you’re not fat you’re beautiful!!” being fat and being beautiful are not mutually exclusive. many of us call ourselves fat casually because that’s what we are, not to get ‘compliments’. telling us we can’t be fat and beautiful at the same time only makes it harder for some people to accept and love their bodies.

“I know that when people see me they just see another Rattata. Just another “thing”, but I have dreams. I want to be a Raticate. I want to be the one that takes down a gym. I want to be on someone’s top six team. I guess you can say that I want to be the best like no one ever was, but no one will give me the chance”

Just don't...

When women talk about the current state of sexism and misogyny, it isn’t the job of men to derail and change the subject by bloviating about what a goodguy™ they think they are.

When Lgbtq people complain about the state of discrimination, homophobia or trans-misogyny, that is not a cue for straight cis people to interject themselves into the conversation by proclaiming how “tolerant” and accepting they think they are. 

When Black people talk about institutional anti-blackness and racism, that is not a personal invitation for white people to derail by talking about how “colorblind” they think they are. And it also isn’t a challenge for NBPoC to derail with their version of the Oppression Olympics.

When people living with a disability talk about ableism or how difficult it is living in a world not made to accommodate them is, guess what? That’s not a sign that they want abled people to change the conversation to how they (claim to) treat everyone equally regardless of physical or mental challenges.

Come on people. It’s not that difficult, is it? We get it. Everyone gets it: You think that you’re a great person. But your alleged greatest wasn’t the point of the conversation that you just barged into, was it? What does that really add to the convo? Telling everyone what a wonderful human being you think you are might make YOU feel a little better, but exactly what does that do for the people you just stepped all over? Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing.

And yes, if you do this version of “but not ALL…” then you should feel badly for trying to turn a post about a marginalized group’s suffering into an opportunity to boast about what an outstanding person you believe you are. Trust me, no one’s going to mistake you for an ally when you pull this kind of shit. There is an easily recognizable difference between “I feel bad that this is happening to other people” and, “BUT I’M NOT LIKE THAT!”

Sometimes there are conversations oppressed people have that do not require your input if you aren’t being oppressed. Particularly when said input isn’t showing true empathy, but instead is nothing more meaningful than you trying (and failing) to masquerade your “humble bragging” about how enlightened you supposedly are. Stop derailing. Just stop it. Stop trying to make it all about you.

What you need to know about Obama’s new letter of guidance for transgender students.

the administration has determined that the designation of “sex” in Title IX protections also includes gender identity, which means that if public schools don’t comply with these protections, they lose federal funding

transgender students are only required to have their parent or guardian contact the school district to notify them that their identity differs from what is previously on record

these students do not need to provide a medical diagnosis, identification documents, or any other information regarding their transition

transgender students must be accommodated even when it makes others students uncomfortable

transgender students can be offered the use of single stall restrooms, but if other students are not required to use them, then they aren’t required, either, and specifically mentions that if a student is uncomfortable sharing a restroom with a transgender person they can be offered a single stall restroom

these protections also cover correct pronoun use as well, along with other guidelines

BEING FEMINIST

happy international womens day to all the butch women/girls who constantly have their womanhood invalidated. i love you all so much and i hope you have a great day!

There’s something that some of you don’t understand.

I’m involved in dozens of different committees, organizations, etc.

And I’ll head into a meeting and we’ll gather around the table and we’ll go around and introduce ourselves and we’ll say our name and what pronouns to use.

And in these committees, we’ll talk about different resolutions to help increase diversity/inclusion and help decrease the bigotry associated with certain minority groups.

I talk to the presidents of colleges who are taking hours upon hours of professional development courses to learn about the newest way to address diversity.

I’ve sat on panels that talk about different ways that we can encourage professors to use terminology.

At any given point in my hectic day, I’m advocating for 400,000+ students, trying to think of new resolutions or action plans that will allow for the most inclusive educational environments possible.

In the past week alone, my campus put up signs for all-gender bathrooms, had a forum on the positives/negatives faced by African American students, put on a production of the Laramie Project, and made progress towards a diversity plan in response to a statewide diversity policy put forth by the governor.

So when you say things like, “Oh, this is just a tumblr thing.” Or, “Tumblr’s going at it again with this stuff.” Or, “Remember kids, tumblr only represents a small fraction of the world.”

No, no it’s not and no it doesn’t.

The world is changing, whether you like it or not.

And the more the world changes, the more tumblr reflects that change. Because that’s what social media websites do. They reflect the world.

Those who misgender Wendy Williams as punishment for her being a terrible person are transmisogynists; plain and simple. I do not give a fuck if a person is the foulest person on Earth. Misgendering cis people to degrade and strip them of their gender makes you violent towards actual trans persons. You think because the person isn’t actually trans that it means it isn’t hurting real trans people? If you have to use transmisogynistic “clapbacks” against a person you don’t like or is terrible to other people, that means you aren’t creative and don’t know how to criticize someone properly.

NOT FUNNY APRIL FOOLS JOKES

screamers

fake coming outs

fake suicide

fake crushes

stuff that could hurt someone emotionally or physically

HILARIOUS APRIL FOOLS JOKES

rickrolling

putting googly eyes on stuff

putting only ONE ice cube in someone’s drink when they asked for a COUPLE

someone: there are two genders

me, igniting my lightsaber: only a cis deals in absolutes

Not all lesbians are thin white girls who wear Calvin Klein underwear and go camping every weekend. Lesbians are brown girls in salwar kameezes and bindis and black girls with dreadlocks and afros and Muslim girls in hijabs and Jewish girls in tznius, lesbians are fat girls and 5X+ girls and girls with big bones and girls who are 6 feet tall, lesbians are poor girls on welfare and girls getting food stamps and homeless girls and girls working multiple minimum wage jobs, lesbians are girls with depression and anxiety and girls with personality disorders and psychosis and girls in the hospital and girls who are suicidal, lesbians are girls with disabilities and girls in wheelchairs and girls with chronic pain and girls who are blind and deaf and girls who are in recovery and girls who can’t recover, lesbians are girls who are 5 years old and girls who are 85 years old and girls who have known their whole life and girls who just found out, lesbians are girls from literally all walks of life and all cultures and all religions and our stories are so unique and so vast and to reduce us to only a small group of girls who most of us aren’t is disingenuous of who we all are as a whole.

to all the 13 year old girls that follow me

if you think her skirt is cute, tell her

the guy that you have a crush on probably doesn’t take enough showers

liking 1D or taylor swift isn’t embarrassing. dont hide it

draw draw draw! you’ll be happy to have the skill later on

do your homework it’ll help with stress

when you’re overwhelmed you should run. it makes you feel better

don’t start cutting no matter how afraid you are

if that shirt doesn’t fit you it doesn’t matter

hug the people you love

know that your life is weird right now and it will get better

reblog if you are BISEXUAL, SUPPORT BISEXUAL PEOPLE, or REALLY HATE DONALD TRUMP