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How To Talk Dirty

The keys to open up some pretty wild doors.

By heel licker & By Bats and Glamour. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

He's asked you to talk dirty, but you don't know how.

So your lover has asked you to talk dirty to him. You may think of yourself as kinky and that you have a dirty mind but when you try to talk dirty the words just don't come to you. If nasty talk doesn't come naturally to you then this how-to is for you.

Keep in mind is that he is a guy, his mind is dirtier than yours. Do you want to know what is inside that skull of his? A cesspool, that's what's inside. All you need to learn is how to send ripples through it.

1: Remember, he is the one that asked you to talk dirty. He has no complaints if you talk too dirty. Besides, the chances of you talking too dirty for him are slim. Don't hold back.

2: When you do talk dirty for him you are being a sexual object. Men are pigs. We have been programmed since birth to objectify women. That does not mean we do not love our spouses, girlfriends, significant others, or whatever we call our partners. It means we have a sexual object that we fantasize about and at times we fantasize about the woman in our lives as being that sexual object. Are you willing to be a sexual object? Maybe it is something the two of you can discuss. Perhaps the two of you can discuss ground rules. Make sure you both know it is just a fantasy. You can always set a night for candlelight and soft music and then a night for talking to him like he was the pig that he is.

3: Dirty talk is spice. Too much can spoil the meal. Sprinkle those nasty words over the course of the evening. There is nothing like a good tease. Collect a repertoire of stock phrases. They don't have to be original. You are talking to cesspool after all. Use those phrases to set him up for the shocker. Use phrases that seem natural to you, but phrases using words like pussy, cock, and dick. 'I want you inside me' doesn't cut it. 'Fuck me with that dick' is better. Read stories on Literotica. If you come across a phrase you like write it down. If you are comfortable doing so, watch some porn movies when your partner is not around and takes notes. You don't particularly have to like porn movies. You are just doing homework. If you don't want to see what is happening on the screen don't look. Just listen. If you do like porn get the vibrator out and have some me time.

4: Make sure you have a shocker. What is a shocker? A shocker is that really dirty, nasty, and disgusting phrase that closes the deal. It is the phrase that will have him wrapped around your finger. The good thing about a shocker is that is does not have to be spontaneous. In fact, during the time you are earning your potty mouth it is best not to be spontaneous. The best shockers in the beginning are planned. You have all the time in the world to come up with a shocker. Before your night of dirty talk sit down with a pen and notebook and figure out what your shocker is going to be. Now is the time to get that dirty mind of yours to work. Think of a theme for your shocker. Are you the sweet little girl, the slut, the evil bitch or do you have something even more devious in mind. Get in the mindset that you are playing a character. Get yourself into the role. Start trying to objectifying things. It is not "his" dick, but "that" dick. It is just an object. It is not "your" pussy, but "that" pussy or better yet "that" hole. Objectifying is not a rule it is just something to just keep in mind. Think about whether it fits your theme or situation. Finally the best shockers have a hint of the taboo in them. Referring to yourself as mommy or call him a slut (yes, I said him). The goal is to send him over the edge. You may be saying to yourself that you couldn't say something like that to him. What if it would freaks him out. I could only answer that by saying that he wasn't just asking you to talk dirty to him. He was asking you to fuck his mind.

5: Make sure to deliver the shocker properly. After all your work, you wouldn't want the shocker to get lost unnoticed between "Oh, yeah, fuck that pussy" and "and fuck me, faster". Pace things. Set the scene, stop or slow things down if you need to, and make sure he is looking into your eyes when you are ready. Now deliver the shocker.

"You motherfucker. You've turned me into a slut, haven't you?"

Of course replace this shocker with your own. Make it as nasty you want it to be.

6: Once you've gone through talking dirty a time or two throw this how-to away and do what comes naturally. Now you are really ready to use that dirty mouth of yours.

How To Talk Dirty To Your Lover

The keys to open up some pretty wild doors.

By Bats and Glamour

After writing Blowjobs for Dummies and How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ, these ‘How To’ articles are becoming habit forming for me! However, I’ve received some of the most wonderful, kindest feedback that a writer could ever ask for, and I’m grateful.

One thing I’ve been asked to write about – very often – is talking dirty. The kind of erotic talk that heats things up in bed – on the floor, over the kitchen sink – wherever.

I do understand the fascination with it. Hearing is of course one the five senses, and along with sight, touch, smell and taste, can add to the excitement and enjoyment of having sex. If you’re into it, dirty talk – and mind you I don’t think it’s dirty at all – can make good sex better, and great sex down right memorable.

In the classic porn film, "Talk Dirty To Me," starring the incomparable John Leslie, his dirty talk drives women absolutely wild. They’re out of control, fucking and sucking him, without really even knowing why. It turns them on so much that even though they don’t originally want him, they can’t help themselves. Does it really work this way? With the right people and done properly, I believe it can. So read on.

First, I need to point out that although I’ve had my share of experience, I don’t hold myself out as an ‘expert.’ Then again, is there a degree one can get for dirty erotic talk? I haven’t seen it in any of the adult evening classes at the local college. Like anyone else, my experience has been through personal trial and error, reading and hearing an awful lot of suggestions from Literotica readers and sexual addicts such as myself and being a devout student of erotic human behavior. So I guess, in a sense, I’m as much of an expert as anyone else.

By the way, you’ll notice I call it dirty ‘erotic’ talk. In the future I’ll just try and shorten it to dirty talk. It’s just that here in NJ, you hear dirty talk on the radio, at the deli, and especially in traffic, along with dirty gestures. None of it is erotic. At least I don’t think it’s supposed to be, unless "that was my parking spot, you motherfucker" turns you on.

Before we get started, a quick mission statement. Why this article? Done right, talking dirty to your lover can be a powerful aphrodisiac. It can bring out hidden desires and fantasies in both men and women. It can be hot – oh man, you have no idea how hot – and add an aspect to sex that kicks it up several notches. I promise. The rules are, there are no rules. But I have some suggestions and observations that can get you on the right track and get you going. After that, it’s up to you my friends. You don’t want me there as a coach;

What is dirty talk anyway? What is considered dirty? Is it, "Umm, that feels so good," or "get on your knees and suck my cock you whore." The answer is – both, depending on who’s talking and who’s listening. One person’s dirty is another’s mild. To yet another person, it’s downright perverted and filthy. This is important to keep in mind.

On one end of the spectrum, you have sex so silent that it could qualify for a covert operation behind enemy lines. I think there are some concrete reasons for this speechless sex.

Religious people have a misguided notion that talking ‘dirty’ is a violation of the 10 Commandments. It’s clearly not. That scripture refers to people who claim to speak on God’s behalf, but are not.

The only clear instructions for Christians is when the Apostle says “Don’t use corrupt communication. Speak so that others are encouraged by your words.”

If my lover is built up and encouraged by my passionate desire for her, I’m building her up. Polite, high-brow speech nazis may be offended by my calling my woman a ‘champion cocksucking queen’, But if she loves it, I’m doing well.

A: Either one or both of the parties feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about sex.

B: Either one or both of the parties feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about any talking during sex because of upbringing, religious beliefs or what have you.

C: There is a high level of inexperience.

D: Nobody knows what to say or how to get started.

The remarkable thing about it, which always perplexes me, it that some of these men whose mouths are sewn shut during sex won’t stop talking during a sporting event. Their excitement is overwhelming. They yell, scream and jump up and down when a touchdown is scored or a home run hit. And some of the women just won’t get off the phone with their friends and family. But get them in bed – wham – you shut them right up. The middle ground would consist of some moaning and groaning, perhaps a little, "yes" or "that feels good" here and there. These people clearly enjoy sex, and may benefit from this article the most, but don’t want to or know how to take it to the next level.

The other end of the spectrum, God bless it, is when the lady expresses herself in a dignified manner such as, "I want to suck your cock like a ten dollar whore," and the man replies "That’s right, baby, I want to taste the juices flowing from your cunt." It’s hot, tasty, salty sex. My favorite kind, I’d like to add!

Any or all of these variations are fine, as long as the people involved are satisfied. And if you want to get on this train, if you’ve been looking for a way to add that extra ingredient to augment your sex life, read on.

Dodger’s manager Tommy Lasorda was once asked, "Did you ever think in your wildest dreams that you’d be in the World Series?" and replied "My wildest dreams have nothing to do with baseball." Well put.

The point is that if your girl asks you to "talk dirty" to them and you say, "Fuck me hard and long, I want to cum on your face, you slut," she may freak because what she expected to hear was "I can’t wait to be inside you." If she says "suck my cunt lips until I scream your name, I want to be your cock whore," he may be shocked, because to him, dirty is, "Do me, honey." In either case, expectation is far from reality and may be embarrassing enough to prevent either one from ever trying to talk dirty again.

Obviously, it would be better to have some idea of what the other person would like to hear before you say "I’m gonna spank your nasty ass ‘til you squeal like a pig" to a monastery candidate. Before you begin to talk dirty to your lover, ask yourself, what kind of a person are they? Are they easily offended by harsh language or do they swear like a truck driver (no offense)? Do they appear to be open minded in other ways, about oral sex or different positions for example? How do they like their sex? Fast, furious and balls to the walls, or slow and tender? This can at least give you some kind of gauge where to start experimenting.

Warning - do not judge a book by its cover. I’ve known some girls who were demure and seemingly innocent at work or school. But once the passions of desire had been stoked – they played with live ammo - pass the Vaseline, duct tape and batteries, we’re having a party!

If your adventures in talking dirty start with your lover asking you to do it, ask them what they have in mind, what they’d like you to say. If this is too embarrassing for them, ask them to write it down. I’ve always been more comfortable writing than saying it, too. I once knew a girl, wonder where she is now, who would leave me little notes in private places telling me what she wanted to do to me. It was a different kind of dirty talk, sure, but it got me fired up all right. More on that later.

You can always start out slow. No one expects to go from silence to waking the neighbors with your screams in just one night. It would seem too labored, too artificial as well. I believe it would be more natural to begin with light fare, such as "yeah, that feels really good." One of my absolute favorites is the simple, elegant and unfailingly hot, "Oh God." You don’t get an "Oh God" unless your doing really well. Maybe an "Oh," possibly an "Oh my," but when you get a nod the to Big Guy, you’re on the right track.

Once you start out slow and comfortable, see how that goes, where it takes you, and decide to move on or not. If you are the instigator, it usually follows that you begin the dirty talk, and your lover gets the idea. If they don’t, try asking them questions which will prompt a response, such as "How does that feel baby, is that good?" Or, "Do you like it when I do that?" Again, if you like the idea of dirty talk and want to make it a regular part of your sexual behavior, it’s far better to start slow, even though you may want to blurt out, "Your cock is so big I feel like I’m being fucked by a horse," which I don’t hear often enough for some strange reason beyond my comprehension," or even, "spread those ass cheeks wide, doctor enema is coming in for a landing." Outrageously dirty talk is wild fun, and can spice the hell out of a sexual liaison, but it can truly turn off the uninitiated, so be cautious at first.

Which brings me to another very important issue. What you do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. It may be OK for you to call her ‘your slut whore’ when you’re fucking, or for her to call you her daddy (oh baby!), but not back I the real world. You do that and you’ll spoil your bedroom fun in the long run. Unless your lover likes it, leave it in bed. She may want to be treated like a naughty little girl who likes to be punished in bed, tied up, blindfolded, whip out the vibrator and; don’t get me started, but you should separate fantasy from reality.

Just to clarify a little further though, when I say keep it in bed, I mean keep it in the context of sexual situations. I once had a girlfriend who would write little notes on cocktail napkins when we were out to a fancy dinner, "When I get you home I’m going to suck your cock until you cum in my mouth." Waiter? Check please! A buddy of mine leaves explicit letters to his wife, and calls her during the day to tell her where they are. By the time he gets home she’s ready to rock the Casbah. I know a young lady, and she knows who she is, who with one sentence on the computer keyboard can put a lump in my throat and my pants. I can’t see her face or hear her voice on the internet, but her desire comes through loud and clear. Yours can, too.

But I repeat, you can call her during the day and say "I miss my sweet little whore," or she can tell you she "longs for her guy’s meaty cock down her throat," when you’re away on business and it’s all great fun and in the right spirit of sexuality and desire. Just keep in that way and in perspective. It definitely doesn’t have to be restricted to the bedroom, but there is still a time and place.

This also means of course that your lover knows you mean no disrespect in what you say or write. You may call her ‘your cum sucking cock hound’, but that’s only in the realm of sexual fun and fantasy. She probably doesn’t want you to think of her as a whore in the real world, so let her or him know you understand the difference.

I think it also should be said that dirty talk, like any other delicacy, can get old fast is overused. I love a good steak, but not every night or I’ll get sick of it. If you talk dirty and take it to the limit every time, it’ll lose its erotic value, which would be a shame. Perhaps its best to save it for those times when sex is the menu for the evening, instead of a quick appetizer or late night dessert.

OK, are you almost ready to get started? Great. Do keep one last thing in mind before we summarize. Tone of voice is all-important. Think of Minnie Mouse bellowing "Fuck me with your huge little mouse cock, Mickey!" in her squeaky little cartoon voice. Does that turn you on? If so, you may be related to Walt Disney.

You can’t use your daily student, motherly or business meeting voice. It may sound like you’re giving instructions. "Now stick that big cock or yours in me. You ready to cum? Good, then cum, I’ve got errands to do."

In your sexiest voice, shaking with desire and passion, say something like, "Umm; your cock feels so good inside of me; so warm; you making me; you’re gonna make me cum so hard; so hard, baby; " Or if you’re a guy, in your lowest, most measured tones it may be "Oh baby, you’re so beautiful; I just love to fuck you; to have my cock inside of you; I love to watch your face when it’s full of my cock; I’m so hard for you; " Whatever the words. Whispered in her ear, they’re magic.

And unless you are in fact whispering in your lover’s ear, the best way to talk dirty to them is when looking into their eyes. The hottest, most erotic words will have little effect if you look away to say them, as though you’re shy or embarrassed about it. If you practically mumble them to the floor, you may not even be heard. Speak up – we’re all friends here! Look your lover in the eyes and tell them you love what they’re doing, or what you’re dying to do to them or have them do to you. Don’t be timid, be proud! Speak it, shout it, whisper it, but let them see and hear you. Can you imagine how hot it is when your lady’s face is near your cock as she looks up at you and says in her sexiest voice, "Umm; I just love your cock; I’m gonna rub it all over my face and then tickle my tonsils with it; I’m gonna suck your cock until you beg me to let you cum; " This has got to add another inch to that erection! Two if she’s rubbing her tits all over it while she’s talking; there I go again.

OK now, before we adjourn for some practice of our own, let me suggest that you do indeed practice on your own, at least at first. The greatest speakers rehearse. You do want to know what you’re going to sound like, even to yourself. So say some erotic lines out loud a few times. Adjust your tone, your pace. Just say it a few times until it sounds good to you, this isn’t Broadway. It will alleviate some of the jitters of trying something new. And to me that’s what good sex is all about, trying something new.

I can practically hear some of you saying, "OK fine, I get the picture, but what do I say, what are the actual words." And no, I can’t send you a recording. But let’s look at it this way. Even taco sauce comes in mild, medium and spicy, right? Sometimes you might feel like mild or medium, sometimes you want some hot spice. It’s the same with dirty erotic talk.

Mild would probably phrases like, "Umm; that’s nice," "feels so good," "yes; yes, right there," "Oh God, baby; yes," "I can’t wait to taste you," "I love what you’re doing to me; I love how it feels; I’ve been wanting you all day; " "Let’s make love until the sun comes up; " You get the picture, mix and match as you like. These are erotic words that should not have the beginner choking on them.

Once you get used to the mild sauce, or saucy comments, you may want to get a bit more creative. "I love how your cock feels inside of me," "Your pussy is so wet; I love how my cock feels inside of you," "Your juices taste so good," "Your body is so beautiful; oh my God, I can’t wait to taste every inch of you," "I love these breasts, I want to lick and suck them so hard; " "Wrap your legs around me, I want every inch of me inside of you," "I’m gonna suck your cock now baby; hold in tight,"

Let me just start breathing normally again for a minute. There. Now, you want spice? You want to bring it home to papa? Those who really like the salty stuff probably don’t need my suggestions. But hey, I’m the writer here, indulge me.

When you graduate to, "Spread those cunt lips my sweet little whore, I’m gonna slam you like Hulk Hogan," "I’m gonna suck your cock until every last drop of cum fills my mouth," "Don’t you dare cum until I give you permission," "Suck my cock you little whore," "Can’t you fuck any harder than that? – be a man!" "I want to taste your seed; cum on my face," "Bend over baby; you’ve been a bad girl and it’s time for your ass to pay; " now you know you don’t need my words. God, I do wish I could be there! How about sending me a tape?

My friends, I mean it when I say that some girls, and guys, are so aroused by dirty talk – often to their surprise – they can’t believe it themselves. Imagine a girl who is the definition of proper at work, in the kitchen, at the gym, in church – whatever, but in the bedroom she likes to be called a ‘whore’ and have her ‘cunt fucked hard by you’. Or the conservative business dude who likes to tell her to ‘suck my cock like an ice cream cone until I tell you to stop.’ It can be so very hot, and you may not even know this vista of opportunity exists until you try it at least on some level. I sincerely hope you do.

I wish you good luck, good health and good sex. No matter what your age or sexual preference, live a passionate life and keep the spirit alive.

By heel licker & By Bats and Glamour

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how-to-do-it-better · 2 days

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Sex Should Be Fun, Not Dirty

A few things that gross me out about porno myths

By LargoKitt. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What I HATE About Porn

Hindus and Greeks and lots of other folks have gods who celebrate procreation. Heck, the Bible contains the steamy Song of Solomon. And in Genesis, God never said, "Don't fuck." He said, "Be fruitful and multiply."

Don’t Make Me Feel Shitty

Point 1: BDSM. I don't think sex is dirty and I really don't much like stories or vids or auds that portray people who feel like shit for feeling horny. Guys should not have to apologize for hard-ons they get in an honest scenario. Horny is built into the machinery. But hang on, I understand that if you were brought up in a strict religious household where touching yourself or anyone else without a legal contract will cause Old Scratch himself to snatch you by the short hairs and drag you to Hell where he'll fry you till you're a crispy critter; if that's the crap that's in the back of your head when you spot a hottie and the spirit rises; well then I can see how being bad and feeling good might end up in the back of the same pickup truck.

Since religious figures, priests and preachers and missionaries and nuns, are placed artificially off-limits, I can see how getting under that dark robe might be a turn on. But a story about raping a priest or a nun who used to humiliate you in school. That's not erotica. That's a revenge horror story and I hate it being considered a turn-on. And stories about religious folks exploiting or hurting kids is never sexy. It's criminal.

I personally despise stories that feature people despising each other, especially in the bedroom. I might write a story about people playing at humiliating one another. I can imagine people, maybe a woman CEO who is always in charge and demanding of respect, enjoying a fantasy where someone calls her a 'stupid worthless slutty cock-sucking bitch'. Same with a male CEO who likes to be ridden and whipped like a stubborn mule. I can imagine those characters getting relief from constant responsibility. I can see how the sting of a little pain might lift their spirits.

But I switch off when the sex is about the pain. Oh I get how a spanking or being bound and restrained might raise the stakes of sensation. But then the pain is about the sex. And the sex plus pain is for the pleasure of the person being bound or 'punished' not for some nut who gets his or her nut by hurting other people. I understand if your kink swells when you have someone in your power. But for me sex is always a dance with equal partners even if you're playing that it's not.

So. Stories teach. And I HATE stories or videos that teach men that it's okay to treat women like shit. Also stories that teach women that the only way they can tell a man what she wants is to be a cruel slutty dom. Or little girls who need permission from 'daddy.' Or independent women just waiting to be enslaved by a cruel master who "knows just what they want."

Bottom line: whatever your kink, sex should be fun for all members of the party and their members, and fun shouldn't make you feel weird and guilty.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Point 2 -- Girls just wanna have fun. I HATE porn that is all about the man getting his nut with no concern for the woman getting hers. What's up with that? Are most pornos secretly for men who are into men? Why in Baal's name do we always spend so much time looking at dude's dicks? And balls? And assholes?

Maybe a viewer who isn't built like superman likes to pretend he is the buff cut flexing shiny well-waxed, spray-tanned hunk who is drilling a hottie who is lying about what a turn-on he is. But how about, for once, having a Don Juan or Lothario who is actually a role model for how to light a lady's fire? Because if you have the basic equipment, but really know what to do with it your reputation as a cocksmith may grow, and most often it won't be about your cock.

The guy may be necessary in the video to show what turns her on. But then I want to spend lots of time seeing her get with it. I don't want a guys ass between me and the beautiful stuff any more than it has to. And for pity's sake, porn makers and porn writers, show us what is happening with her, how this lick or that deep plunge is beginning to light her up. Some of you dudes may be all about pretending you are this super-stud and this total hottie just wants to be drilled by you until your jackhammer has busted the pavement. But really, that's not as much fun as taking the time to wind her up and truly get her truly excited.

Hard truth: Jamming your dick is the LAST turn-on a woman usually wants to feel to get her off. Everything else you do: flirting with her, complimenting her, giving her a gift, feeding her, kissing her, gently touching her, rubbing her, fingering and licking, ALL are bigger turn-ons than your dick. She may want your dick, because it feels good, fills her up in a way she likes, connects in a powerful way, shows you want her and only her so damn bad, and are eager to feed her your seed. But her orgasm usually comes from the other strokes.

And for lesbian couples this literally goes double. Two loving gals are not usually eager to pretend to be hard dick-jamming men.

Lesbian Porn

Point 3 - "Lesbian" videos (or stories) are not made for women, even though most women now and again fantasize about having it on with another woman. But how often does anyone actually ask the women to write the script about how two women come to get it on? Note how many writers who identify as lesbians or bi, put at the top of the story, something like, "If you just want to get right to the sex you may be disappointed, because this story has a slow build. That is because, gentlemen, that the lead up in a lesbian story is the lust. So how about more videos in which the women take their time playing with each other? Not hours of loud smacky fake kisses and tongue tangling. No. Real attention to all the erogenous zones: the neck, the ears, lots of exploring tender skin, the talking. Seeing each face come alive. And always, take your time. After all; what's your hurry?

Butt?

Point 4: But, but, butt. Maybe there was a time when the idea and the illustration of a man having penetrative intercourse with another person's anus was a strange and exotic turn-on. Now you have to plow through the butt shots to get to any other kind of sexual activity. Enough already. Or put the butt play into a special search for those you don't lift off except when imagining back door action. Otherwise, go easy. And that means planning your camera angles so we aren't looking at someone's shitter when hot romantic sex is supposed to be happening.

Roughly Sensual?

Point 5 - Rougher and tougher is not hotter. Oh, sure, sometimes jamming, and slappling and hurling her (him) around is at the peak of turn-on. Sometimes the opposite is true. The smooth strokes can really reach her. Gentle that breast. Please that little spot on the side of her neck. Sweetly tickle that clit hood. Do spend lots of time on the breasts and nipples. Stroke and kiss and suck them a dozen ways and do it again. Let us see her face and hear her voice as this happens. Talk to her. It doesn't matter if the vid is shot in Slovenian.

All the senses say something

Point 6 - And speaking of voice, let us hear how she is feeling. I don't mean clichés like "Oh baby, you're so big." I mean those personal sounds that tell you she is beginning to feel it. Let us hear her breath slowly get more raw and excited. Encourage her to say what she needs. That last point is important, and very sexy. Not just, "Oh yeah, right there, right there," but, "Grab my tit hard please." "Squeeze my ass." "Kiss me...I need you to kiss me." And let us hear him as his excitement builds and he begins to groan and roar. For lesbian sex it would be good to really hear the couple work out what feels good. "That's good; roll a little to your left. Yeah, move up that way." "Keep rocking. Oh please don't stop rocking." "Just lick inside right there with the tip of your tongue." "Shut up and fuck me hard."

Sprayed vs filled?

Point 7 - The money shot. Time was, you had to know this was real sex, so the dude had to spill the cream at the end. Now I think that's old hat. The real money shot is seeing her get off for real. Now we know that for most women PIV sex is not the true lift off. It may be great, but it is the satisfier that says your man is happy and has really connected. Your orgasm(s) can come any time along the way and are proof that your lover is really paying attention to your needs. And here's a simple dirty secret: most guys watching and probably a lot of women are going to get off when they see her cum more than when they see him cum. And for me nothing is sexier than both partners getting off while they are deeply connected. No need to 'open out' awkwardly so we see all the messy bits. For the last lap let them find each others' rhythm and go for it.

Stay Unselfish

Coda - Make videos with people who know and respect each other. Even if the love play is rough and tumble, have your "actors" know and care about each other and show they care about each others' bodies. Give them time to get to know each other before they shoot the scene. And we have all seen "the four ways to fuck"-- now missionary, now doggie, now her on top, now on her side with him behind, pull out and jizz in her mouth. Yawn. Let them work out what gets them excited.

My Golden Rules: NEVER feature sex with children. NEVER feature enslaved, exploited, addicted, or drugged participants. NEVER treat women like they are second class citizens. NEVER have the talk or action be racist. NEVER show rough sex without the absolute consent of all participants. NEVER confuse torture for stimulation. NEVER exploit young or broke people to make a porno. There are plenty of adults willing to make sex videos for fun and/or profit.

And if you like erotic stories, videos, audios, pix then use the ones that respect people and avoid the ones that don't.

If the maker breaks those golden rules, don't watch or pay for that shit.

I KNOW I am bumping up against some people's favorite kinks, or even the whole reason they seek out porn. That's them. Maybe that's you. Okay, but the stuff I list above is what ruins it for me. I have a simple stance. Sex is good. Sex is fun. People do best when they don't feel angry, or ashamed, or guilty while doing it. You can play football to maim the other player or humiliate them. For me that ruins the game. Our bodies have wonderful built-in toys. Enjoy them.

The 11 Best Sexual Positions for Satisfying Sex

Tons of sexual positions can bring mutual satisfaction, but do you know which ones both you and your partner can enjoy? Check out these 11 you might want to try the next time you get frisky.

By Ashley Welch

Switch up your sexual routine so you and your partner can rekindle your connection.

There are hundreds of hot sex positions for couples that bring partners’ bodies together for mutual pleasure. Knowing a variety of sex positions can help you be a better and more inventive lover for your partner.

What Are the Best Ways to Have Mutually Satisfying Sex?

That answer is different for every couple. "I would define the best position as the position that works best for the individual or individuals involved,” says Tameca Harris-Jackson, PhD, a certified sex educator, a sex therapist.

"Trying different sex positions actually offers an opportunity to bring different ways of experiencing pleasure into sexual intimacy and a sexual relationship,” Dr. Harris-Jackson says. “You can eat the same meal every day for 20 years, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to get the most joy out of it. You’re just getting the nutrients. But if you try to add a little bit of parsley to that meal, you might taste it in a different way, and it might become a more exciting meal. And that’s what having new positions in a relationship can do.”

There are nonphysical factors to consider, too. Take intimacy, for example. For many people, especially women, intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences because partners are comfortable and trusting enough to ask for what they desire and to try new things.

Many couples are figuring out exactly those benefits, according to research funded by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

An online survey of 1,559 adults showed that while people had less frequent sex during the first weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, they were more willing to try new things, which included sexting, sharing sexual fantasies, and experimenting with new sex positions.

Try New Sexual Positions to Spice Things Up

Stressful periods of time can make it difficult to get aroused and stay aroused, says study coauthor Justin L. Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey. “Trying something new can amp up your arousal,” he says. “Trying new things is about self-discovery — what works for your body, your relationship — and that’s going to have lifelong benefits.”

You don’t have to be a gymnast to make these moves pay off. Don’t think “crazy sex positions,” rather “new sex positions” to create more heat between the sheets.

“Not every position is for everyone, and that’s okay,” says Dr. Lehmiller. “But even if the positions described here don’t work for you (maybe you’ve already tried them), that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new and different things. Novelty is one of the things that keeps us interested in coming back for more. When sex is the same every time, we tend to lose interest. New positions are a handy way of adding an element of novelty and newness to our sex lives.”

1: The Missionary Position or Face-to-Face

Potential Benefits or Caveats Intimate but not necessarily mutually satisfying.

Details It's a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and knees bent slightly. The man lies between his woman’s legs and guides his penis or sex toy into his lover’s vagina or anus, supporting her body weight with his arms or elbows.

The problem with the missionary position is that it’s not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The pelvis of the partner on top can sometimes stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (felt through a location on the front wall of the vagina and believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn't provide enough clitoral stimulation to experience climax.

In a study published in August 2020 in Sexual Medicine, researchers in the Czech Republic surveyed 1,100 heterosexual people about 13 sex positions and revealed that most people still choose the missionary position even though it does not correlate with orgasm for women.

Try Female-Friendly Intercourse Positions

If the most common sex position is not offering women consistent orgasms, then one important thing to do to is “close the orgasm gap,” says Lehmiller, and try a new sex position. In other words, don't limit yourself to the missionary position.

"In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a certified sexuality educator and professor emerita at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and enjoy better sex, try some of these female-friendly positions. Many afford partners the chance for clitoral stimulation, which is what 35.4 percent of women said they need to reach orgasm.

2: Cowgirl

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep penetration and sensations vary; clitoral stimulation.

Details In this position, the man lies on his back while the partner being penetrated faces them and kneels, straddling his pelvis. She can then sit up or lie down on her man.

"This is a great position for a woman to control the depth of penetration," Harris-Jackson says. “It’s also a good position to get multiple forms of stimulation. With the woman’s body upright, the nipples can be engaged, which can lead to extra arousal. It is good for having access to the clitoris for stimulation.”

The riding partner can choose whether to bounce up and down, grind, or make hip circles — each delivering a slightly different sensation. “This is also a good position for a person with a penis if they have back issues because it’s almost a resting position for them,” she says.

6 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Married Sex Life

Making things more interesting in the bedroom doesn't have to be hard. Try these simple tips to create more heat between the sheets.

3: Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Rider on Top

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Buttocks play, visual stimulations, opportunities for variations; may cause pain.

Details The man lies on his back while the woman sits astride him, facing his feet, and slips his penis into her vagina or anus. The woman can control the rhythm and pace of the thrusts. This position can be especially exciting for the man, who gets to observe the back and buttocks of his lover. Squeezing or grabbing the buttocks can enhance the experience for both. This position can be tricky to master since it requires the woman to lean back or sit up very straight to accommodate the angle of the penis. “If you’re leaning forward, it can be painful and uncomfortable for the man because it could almost feel like his penis is breaking,” says Harris-Jackson, who recommends having the man bend his knees while the woman holds her hands against her lover’s thighs or waist.

Switch It Up “This may be one of those positions that is better in theory than in practice,” says Lorrae Jo Bradbury, a sex and love coach and the founder of SluttyGirlProblems.com and LorraeJo.com. “You might want to use it as a foreplay position, grinding on his penis before you begin intercourse.”

4: Doggy Style or Rear Entry

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration and G-spot stimulation but the position can feel impersonal.

Details In this position, the woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with her hands and knees. The man crouches and enters from behind. This is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust hard and fast, and allows easy access to caress much of the woman’s body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation.

Switch It Up Some people complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there's no face-to-face contact. “If you want closer eye contact with this position,” says Bradbury, move your knees closer to your chest and arch your back so your partner can lean into you near your face and you can make eye contact. Bradbury says you can also try this position in front of a mirror so you can see one another’s faces.

A variation of this can be done standing; using a high bed, dining table, or even the kitchen counter; when a woman lays her chest or forearms upon the solid surface. Many women report laying in wait at the kitchen, when their man comes home. Her sticky panties are dropped to her knees. With his coat still on, she simply orders him; “Fuck Me Now! I can’t wait another minute!” He follows her instructions and sates her lusts. After his spunk fills her wanton cunt, she turns to face him, holds his spent cock, and says; “This rod needs to be ready for round two, after dinner, in the bedroom.

5: The Corkscrew

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Intense, deep penetration.

Details Leaning forward, the woman lies on the edge of the bed facing inward, resting on her hip and forearm while her partner enters her from behind. The woman can keep her thighs together for a tighter hold on the penis or penetrating toy. But if the woman opens her legs, the clitoris is exposed for stroking while the man thrusts from behind. “You’re getting that deeper penetration like doggy style, but this may be an easier and more comfortable position,” says Bradbury.

Switch It Up Your partner can easily lean down to make out with you, and the clitoris is within easy reach, according to Bradbury.

6: Side by Side or Sideways

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep eye contact and intimacy.

Details Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can enter her. This position is great for morning sex when you might be a little sleepy, says Bradbury.

It offers intimacy because you are close to each other’s face. The partners can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, doesn't require a lot of stamina from either person, and offers an opportunity for good clitoral stimulation.

Switch It Up Penetration can be improved if the woman drapes both legs over her man’s waist, Bradbury says. This allows great access to the clitoris, which can be stimulated with a finger or with a toy. “I think this is a great position for everyone,” she says. “It offers the comfort of cuddling, too.”

7: Flat Iron or Lazy Dog

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Tightness on penetration, intense stimulation.

Details The woman lies on her stomach with her legs straight and hips slightly raised. (You can place a pillow under your hips.) The man enters from behind. When lying face down, the woman’s legs will be closer together, which creates a snugger fit for her man’s penis or sex toy. This can lead to a new, more intense sensation. “This is a really good way to increase the experience of tightness for the man,” Harris-Jackson says. “It’s also good for clitoral stimulation because the partner can reach around with his hand or a sex toy to provide dual stimulation. And it’s a good position for G-spot stimulation because you’re angling the body so that the penis is in perfect alignment to stroke against the G-spot.”

8: Face-Off

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats With intense eye contact and clitoral stimulation, this can be an enhanced missionary position.

Details In this position, the man sits on the edge of a bed or in a comfortable seated position while the woman climbs on his lap face-to-face. The woman wraps her legs around his waist and can control the pace of thrusting. This position also allows for direct clitoral stimulation and eye contact, which can increase intimacy.

Bonus Your hands are free so you can touch and caress your lover’s body nearly anywhere you would like. “This is a really impactful position for people who are aroused with eye contact,” says Harris-Jackson. “It’s like missionary, but you are really face-to-face. It also takes some of the work off the woman because the man can move her up and down by placing his hands on her hips.”

Switch It Up The lotus position is very similar to face-off, only the man sits crossed-legged on the bed or chair.

9: Pretzel Dip

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration with potential for G-spot stimulation.

Details The woman lies on her right side as the man straddles his lover’s right leg. The man then pulls his woman’s left leg up and around his left side and enters her vagina or anus. This position allows deep penetration while also allowing the intimacy of maintaining eye contact.

Switch it Up “You can also take your left leg and pull it toward your chest to get a deeper angle,” says Bradbury. “And you have amazing access to the clitoris for both partners.” Your hands will be free, which can allow you to run them all over each other’s body. Adds Harris-Jackson: “This position — depending on your angle — can also offer G-spot stimulation, as well.”

10: Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Clitoral stimulation.

Details If you want to rock rather than thrust, roll with CAT. This position is similar to missionary; the main difference is that the man pushes the base of his penis so that it lines up with her clitoris and the two make contact. Once they do, the couple rock back and forth and maintain constant contact. “It’s a little bit of a different way of having sex,” says Lehmiller. “You rock back and forth rather than thrusting. Doing so prolongs the length of intercourse for the man and increases the odds of a woman having an orgasm because she’s having that constant stimulation.”

11: Sixty-Nine (or 69)

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Mutual oral stimulation.

Details This position involves both lovers performing and receiving oral sex at the same time. Typically, one partner lies on their back while the other climbs on top of them and turns around, straddling them with their genitals above their lover’s face. The person on top then leans forward and begins performing oral sex on their lover while simultaneously receiving. This position can require some coordination and balance, particularly for the partner on top. One way to make 69 a bit more comfortable for both lovers is to lie on their sides during the act.

Keep Switching It Up: Sexual Variety Is Exciting

In our day-to-day lives, we tend to be very goal-oriented, says Harris-Jackson. “We wake up in the morning and it’s go, go, go to get out the door. We go, go, go to eat our food, to go to work. It creates a lot of stress and tension in our bodies and in our minds. Many patients that I see feel that sex becomes one more thing that they have to go, go, go and do. But sexual partners should be really with one another and feel pleasure together. Switching up positions can be very helpful to rekindle that connection. So it can be helpful and fun to try something new.”

By LargoKitt & Ashley Welch for Literotica and EverydayHealth.

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A Guy's Guide To His 1st Date

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.

With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture.

Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule.

Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.

Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date.

One of the easiest ways to ‘break the ice’ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is ‘caught off guard’ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. They’ll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative.

Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a ‘going with’ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who they’re ‘going with’ even though they never went anywhere.

If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, It’s time to ask; “Can I take you out on a date?” If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesn’t need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts.

The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she won’t talk about the places she went to, she’ll talk about the guy who took her there.

When you’re first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say ‘good night.’

Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you. Take some time to assess if you want a 2nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether it’s her you like, or dating, itself.

Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If you’re still looking for the ‘right one,’ your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue?

Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.

How to find someone to date:

To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well.

Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie.

Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.

How-to guide for kissing:

Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began.

If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might get your braces locked together also. You won't even be able to make it to the hospital unless you get a friend to drive you there. Give kissing some serious thought before proceeding with braces.

Older people are now out in the dating game. If you have false teeth, you might watch your kissing also. Light pressure open-mouth kisses are acceptable. Do not under any circumstances try French or kissing using the tongue. Just picture this: your woman sticks her tongue in your mouth and your dentures come loose. Need I say more?

Another thing about kissing; especially open-mouth and giving tongue type kisses. You might want to consider where your date's mouth has been prior to the date with you. This could be a problem when using a dating service or prostitute.

How to disrobe your date:

Let's begin by me undressing my lover. I try to unbutton her blouse but the little button doesn't seem to come through the little slit like it's supposed to. Finally, I get it undone and see her breasts staring me in the face behind her bra. Here is the problem I found out last year.

I reach my hand behind her back while we are kissing, feeling for the clasp on her bra. Where the hell is the damn thing? I'm an ultra male; I don't want to have to ask her. Finally in a nice way, we unlock lips and she says, "The clasp is in the front." Then in a very faint voice I hear the word, "Moron."

I quickly undo the clasp and let these big babies bounce out. I want to pull her bra off but it gets tangled in her blouse. Now I have to pull them off together trying to get them off her shoulders in a loving way like they do on TV.

After getting feedback on the subject, I now know what to do and will pass it on to you. While kissing her when her blouse is still on, rub your finger along her bra line. If it's smooth all the way across then the clasp is in the front and you won't feel so stupid. If you feel it in the middle of her back while rubbing the bra line then, of course, it has a back clasp. You should remove her blouse before un-clasping her bra.

Next, I want to remove her jeans. I have now learned to tell my ladies to remove them before climbing on the bed; saves a lot of hassle, unless you're a specialist in removing a woman's clothing. I made the mistake a few times of trying to gently remove her jeans while she is lying on the bed. Big, big mistake! Women buy jeans at least one size too small! The jeans look great on them, nice and tight, but they are hell to pull off. Believe me; I've tried more than once. If you can get it over her ass, you might have a chance. I never seemed to be that lucky, as I had to climb up and try to pull the jeans under her ass, scooting each side down about an inch at a time.

You want to do this without pulling her panties off at the same time. You might have to pull her panties and jeans down a little and then kind of pull the panties back up and then back to the jeans again. Hopefully, you were lucky enough to get the jeans down to her thighs. If she has big thighs, you might have to keep scooting the jeans one side at a time. Whatever you do, keep complimenting her on her body, even if she has thunder thighs and stretch marks. Don't ask her to spread her legs - it doesn't sound good. If she doesn't do it automatically for you, then scoot up between them and push her legs apart yourself, but not too far - you still have to get her jeans off.

How to get on the bed:

Hopefully, by now your date is naked. Somewhere along the line you should have removed your own clothing. You should usually leave your underwear on till you are ready to expose your big Johnson (cock).

Last year I tried to explain getting on the bed while kissing. A totally bad idea!

I wanted us to fall together on the bed gently like they do in the movies. So I held onto her and kind of pulled her toward me so we could fall together onto the bed. Big mistake! I didn't say anything to her while she lost her footing and fell on me as we bumped heads. It kind of killed the mood since now she needed a couple of aspirin for the headache she was quickly getting.

Another time my date and I were kissing when we fell together on the bed. She sent me her dental bill for the loose teeth she received.

I've never gotten that falling together down right. I tried to fall on the bed by myself over a hundred times so I could explain to the readers the best way to do this. Believe me, there isn't any good way to fall on the bed alone, let alone with a partner. Now I just tell my lady friend to climb on the bed and then I climb on top of her. I can't believe how many aspirin I have saved, and no more dental bills. Of course I might add, if she wants to be on top, that's okay too.

How to use foreplay:

Women love foreplay. The first thing and also the main thing to remember is to compliment! compliment! compliment! Women love compliments. I don't care if it's her hair, boobs, belly, feet, toes or nose, compliment her on it. You will be glad you did.

Hopefully your woman should now be lying on your bed with only her panties on. You should climb on the bed and have some foreplay before going much further. Women usually like this unless you are as inept as I was till I started practicing on using foreplay.

Let's talk a little about her erogenous zones. Women have many of them. Most men know about her nipples, neck, lips and the whole vaginal area. There are others that I have found lately and would like to pass on to you.

The shoulders: I can't tell you how many women have let me rub their shoulders. Of course you start there and they may let you massage a lot of other places as well. Women also love to have their feet massaged. Rub the little balls under their toes. After being on their feet all day, they will love you for this. If they have nice cute clean feet, you might consider sucking a toe or two. Of course you will need to check their feet out pretty good before sucking any toes. You have to be the judge here.

One of the newest places I have found that turn women on, is the area between their belly button and their mound. I can't tell you what a hot area this is on most women. I have to admit that this area is a turn on for me too, knowing that I am probably minutes away from pay dirt. Try both rubbing and kissing this area. No matter how big your woman is, this area is a turn-on.

Time to start the foreplay: I was kissing my woman over and over again. I was planting my lips against her taking her breath away. Literally! I didn't know she wasn't able to breath and she started kicking and moving under me. I thought I was really getting her turned on. I was 'Jerry, the super kisser.' I found out she wasn't able to breathe through her nose. I guess I really took her breath away. You might want to ask or at least make the kisses short if you see this happening.

I started kissing her neck like they do in the movies. Again, another mistake! I sucked too hard and gave her a hickey. For those of you who don't know what a hickey is I'll explain. It's sucking hard on her neck or other soft places that leave a bruise. Most women don't want hickeys. It's embarrassing especially if other people see the bruises and she has to try to explain it. If she's married, you might be in 'mucho' trouble.

Kissing and playing with her boobs. This was information I passed along last year but it still holds true. The boobs or breasts are a big misunderstood area. Some women loved them played with. None like them mauled - believe me, I found out the hard way.

Remembering one of my first big breasted women, I couldn't wait to get hold of those big babies and I grabbed them. She screamed out, slapped me and went home. The next lady, I tried to just squeeze them hoping to turn her on. Again, a mistake! She told me I felt like a mammogram machine - you know; those machines that squeeze the shit out of a woman's tits. No woman - and I mean NO woman - wants her breasts squashed, regardless of the size of her boobs.

Here is the right way to do it. I learned after the loss of sex from many women. Don't get your hands near those babies until you have laid some light kisses on them, lots of light kisses. Don't bite! Remember that women do not want sucker bites or any kinds of bites or bruising they might have to explain. Sucking of the nipples are a big "Yes". Women like this - maternal instinct or something - but women love sucking, licking and kissing of the nipples. If the nipples get big, you're doing real good.

If you did the sucking and licking right, you may now gently massage the breasts. I usually get yelled at and slapped by this time or my woman goes home with sore boobs. If you succeeded to this point, then rub and gently massage her breasts and softly touch the nipples. Be damn gentle with the nipples here. She hopefully is getting into it by now and will let you start to squeeze those babies. If she's moaning or groaning, that is a good sign. If she's just lying there you might want to find out why. She may be sleeping or worse - dead. If she is dead, call 911 and go home. You will be considered a freak if you go any further. That was a joke, readers. You have to learn to laugh a little.

Here is some more information I passed along last year. I did get some negative feedback from a couple of women who said most men's bodies aren't attractive either. I totally agree with them. A beer belly or hairy back isn't the most exciting thing for a woman to look at. This is one of the reasons that under no conditions should you say anything negative about the body of your date.

If she has stretch marks or a rather large belly don't say anything negative. If you do, your night will be over. Remember most women's bodies do not look like the ones you see on the big screen or the calendar on the wall. If you look anything like me, be glad that you have anybody that moves lying there in front of you. Close your eyes if you have to, but rub and kiss the belly even if it's not attractive.

Let's keep going. Move your hand into her panties. If she has a pad on, you have a problem. Either you have to go further or get up and go home. At this point you might want to pull her panties off and check under the hood so to speak. If you pull her panties off along with the pad or pulled the string and removed the tampon, you have to decide how bad you want it. If she let you go this far, she definitely wants to do it. So what are you going to do? If you don't fuck her now, believe me, you never will!

These kinds of decisions never have to be made on TV shows.

Let's say she's on her period. Put on a condom and jump her bones. This is what I suggest you do. Use the stupid condom and have fun. If you don't have one or don't like wearing them - and I don't like them - just stick it in as long as you know she is disease free. Blood and cum will always wash off. She'll consider you the man for doing her during this period.

No blood? No problem, she probably wears it for leaks. It only happens in real life. Women laugh, women pee, the pad absorbs it. So, if the pad isn't wet, jump her bones. If the pad is wet, wipe her pussy off with a wash cloth - that's something you never see on TV but it does help. Then proceed to eat her out. Believe me; every woman except the really weird ones likes her pussy eaten out. She may not like to give head but she loves receiving it.

Let's talk a little about oral sex. It's a big decision these days. One thing every man ought to know. If you don't plan on eating her pussy then don't expect her to be giving you any head.

We had a big discussion last year over whether a person with false teeth should keep them in or take them out.

If your woman has false teeth and wants to give you a blowjob, let her remove said teeth. You do not need her to accidentally bite your dick. It hurts and might make it unusable for awhile. The warm gums feel great around it. Don't kiss her till she puts her teeth back in her mouth and maybe even use mouthwash.

I asked for opinions on this and here are a few I received.

"If you have false teeth, leave them in your mouth. It is gross for your date to see your teeth in a glass next to the bed."

"Sorry to say but that last part is a crock of shit. If she has false teeth, under no circumstances should you ask her to take them out. You'll think your dick is in a pussy that's just been fist fucked by a 10 ton truck....it'll be so loose that you won't feel anything. Nothing she can do will change it as without teeth the space in the mouth is so great that no cock can fill it and make it feel good for the guy. Furthermore, her jaws will ache so much from trying to suck and not being able to apply proper pressure...the only way she could; would be if the guy had one of those 14 inches, wide as a beer can cock you mentioned earlier."

"Look DG, I have to tell you. If she has false teeth and takes them off, you're in for a big surprise, not good at all. With no teeth it's impossible to suck properly and the vacuum needed to perform fellatio is absent; furthermore, her jaws will ache like crazy. Believe me, if she has false teeth, let her keep them on. There's no more danger of being bitten then if it was her real teeth."

Personally, if I'm eating a moist wet pussy, I take my teeth out so I can gum it and slurp in all the wet juices. The dentures take away from the feeling that I get. So, teeth or no-teeth, that is the question. As they say on Fox news, "You decide."

How to get that, "Oh, what a feeling":

Last year I said, "Most pussies are really not that pretty. I have seen a lot of them and still get turned on by them, regardless of how ugly they might be."

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I decided most all pussies are beautiful. Soft, wet, moist, what's not to love? Now the smell is another story. To me, not every pussy smells the same. If you like fish, it will be a plus for you. I know, in all the stories you read the writers are talking about the heavenly smell. It only smells like that when you are at your horniest. At that point every pussy looks and smells great!

A word or two about bushes. Most ladies trim their bushes some, younger ones mainly to trim up the hair for their bathing suit bottoms. On the TV they always look great. At the pool where I hang out, I always see the hair sticking out the sides of their suits. Looks funny but I can't help looking anyway. Of course I'm a pussy hound and the hair doesn't bother me, especially in a dim light. It seems that a number of ladies shave it all off. It's okay but I think I prefer to see some hair down there.

If you see some gray hair on it, don't worry about it. It means she probably knows how to use it. Experience you know is always good. If you get hair between your teeth, try to just remove it without being seen. She usually can't see you over her belly anyway.

Use of condoms is big these days; lots of diseases to worry about. I was watching a lot of porno movies so that I could give you good 'how to' information here. Most of the porn stars are wearing condoms in their films. It kind of takes away from the film but I guess the actors want to live to fuck another day.

I brought this up because in the porno films, they always remove the condom before coming. They jack themselves off on the partners back or ass. Sometimes they have their woman actress slide down and cum all over her face.

Now, a bit more honesty here. That's why I'm writing this how to, to tell you the truth. I talked to a number of women and none of them got anything out of me pulling my cock out of her pussy and coming on her back. Their answer was, "What the fuck?"

Also, I have yet to find the woman that says, "Pull your dick out of my pussy, I'm about ready to orgasm, but go ahead and cum on my face."

Use the condom, fill it up while in her pussy and then dispose of it. You'll both be glad you did.

Some more information from last year. I'm still not big on anal sex.

Ass fucking: It's not for everybody, including me. I've tried it and it really wasn't that good. My partner said it hurt like hell and there was more than one partner I tried it with. If they don't have an enema or some other way of cleaning it out, it smells. I don't know about you but to me shit stinks. I really don't want it on my dick, even though in some of these stories they seem to like the Hershey highway.

For those of you who like anal sex, that's great. I'm not knocking you or your likes and dislikes. I'm just trying to base my opinions and observations here. The first time I ass fucked, I thought my dick was going to blow up. It didn't fit very well. I used all kinds of lube which helped get it in but it hurt me and it hurt my partner. I just felt my time would have been better spent if I put it in a hot wet pussy. No hard feelings for the anal lovers.

I have found out that while fucking from behind, (doggie style) that a finger or two inserted into the anal passage may be a turn-on. For those who want to try it, make sure your fingers are lubed or you rubbed a lot of her juices there first.

Update from a friend: "If a woman lets a man take her in the ass and then shits all over the floor, it's not her fault. So don't hold her responsible - you asked for it. Clean up the mess yourself."

Underwear, for the man, is always interesting. If you expect to get any, make sure you don't have skid marks in your underwear. That is good advice for both sexes. TV and movie people never have skid marks. No woman is turned on by seeing the nicotine stains in your jockeys. Same goes for the guys not wearing under clothing. Shit stains in your jeans aren't so good either.

For the guys, if you don't have underwear on, pull your own zipper down. If any skin gets caught in the zipper, it hurts like hell and your night will be over before it begins. Your lady friend might be in too big a hurry when pulling down your zipper.

By DG Hear

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how-to-do-it-better · 4 days

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How To Make Her Scream For you

A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.

By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them.

Frustration; it's a bitch; it can be good, really good, or very, very bad. The idea is to make the sexual frustration great for her, so that when the time comes, she is so wild for you, the sex is mind blowing for both of you. This can happen every time, if you know what to do, and how to approach her the right way.

There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex.

1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs

2 Planning: Take Your Time

3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild

No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew.

1. KNOW YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS: You HAVE to know what she likes and doesn't like, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. If she is frustrated emotionally, you aren't gonna get anywhere with her. Meet her emotional needs first. If she is not feeling loved, or appreciated, if you have troubles in your relationship, then take the time to fix it. THEN focus on the sexual needs. (Usually bad sex is what creates the core of relationship problems.)

Not every woman is the same, and not every woman will reach orgasm the same way. Some never will because their partner is too impatient, or her EMOTIONAL needs aren't being met. If your too embarrassed, or impatient to ask why she isn't enjoying it, (if she isn't climaxing, she isn't enjoying it) she will be very reluctant to have sex with you. If your wife/partner consistently refuses your advances, makes excuses, rolls her eyes, snorts, laughs, and won't give you any; YOUR most likely the source of the problem. WHY? An emotionally and sexually satisfied woman will not refuse her man sex, at least for long. She will hunger for it, like a cat in heat.

If you can't answer these questions, don't be so quick to call her frigid. When a man really knows what his woman wants, and actually takes the time to give it to her, she will almost NEVER refuse him intimacy. She won't WANT to refuse you. In fact, once you master the three keys, she may be the one begging you for sex.

THE 20 QUESTIONS:

1; What are her sexual fantasies?

2; What gets her in the mood?

3; What turns her off?

4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry?

5; Is she feeling loved by you?

6; Is she feeling desirable to you?

7; How does she like to be touched?

8; How does she hate to be touched?

9; How does she like to touch herself?

10; How does she WISH you would touch her?

11; What makes her feel more relaxed?

12; What makes her feel uncomfortable?

13; What makes her hot for YOU?

14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex?

15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes?

Ask her these questions first:

16; What kind of relationship do we have now?

17; What kind of relationship do you want?

18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month?

19; What can I do for you today to make your day better? Ask every day. At first she may say "nothing" If she does, do something spontaneous anyway, like pick her a flower, fold the laundry, rub her feet, let her pick the movie, brush her hair for her, put the kids to bed for her, run an errand, make breakfast in bed, give her an extra long kiss goodbye, and a wink, dedicate a song to her, clean the kitchen for her, write her a love letter, rub her shoulders, plan a picnic, send flowers to her work, just because, ; there are a million little things a woman would love for you to do for her, non sexual things you can do; pick one and just do it without being asked.

20; Find out her Love Languages (Read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman) Even if SHE doesn't know them, you will be able to recognize them. Make sure your filling her tank with the right gas; (you'll have to read the book)

If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's most likely the main reason you dont have the sex life you want. It's your job to find out. She WANTS you to know the answers to these questions, and probably doesn't know how to bring it up without risking you shutting her down, because women know most men HATE talking about the relationship. I think it's because most men don't know HOW. Men, dare to be different and actually talk about your relationship and how to improve your sex life. Use the questions as a guide.

She might think you've lost your mind because such a thing is so foreign to you, and it's the LAST thing she ever thought you would say. Feel free to print this out and show it to her, I don't mind.

Pick a time when the two of you are not busy, and NOT trying to be romantic. Shock her speechless and tell her your going to dedicate the next (however many days) making the relationship better, not just sexually. Make sure to take this seriously, be open, be honest, and make sure she knows all YOUR answers to these questions too. You'll get a MUCH better sexual response from her once you address her emotional needs.

THE HEART OF A WOMAN (From the book Captivating, by Staci Eldridge)

At our core, women are just more emotional than men. Learn to deal with it. We CAN'T change that, because we are designed that way. For a woman to feel most fulfilled, romantic and loved, she must have three basic emotional desires of her heart met:

1: Every woman wants to be romanced—and not just when your trying to seduce her into bed. We all have a desire to have a great relationship, and we recognize one when we see one. We recognize a bad one too. We KNOW when we are really, truly loved, and when we are not. If your not really in love with her, she knows it, trust me.

2: Every woman wants to have a beauty to unviel. We want to know you find us enticing, attractive, lovely, radiant, sexy. There is a reason little girls like to twirl around in princess dresses and like hearing she is beautiful. Face it, you want to be the prince who comes to beauty's rescue.

3: Every woman wants to know she is irreplaceable to you. Just how every man wants a battle to fight, and a grand adventure to go on, the lady in your life wants to know that she has a place in that adventure, by your side. She wants to know that you need her, (even if you don't think you do.) FYI, you need her too.

This first step is vital to a great sexual relationship with any woman. If you skip it, you'll be doomed to, at worst, very little bad sex; to, at best, mediocre sex, for the rest of your life. Ok, now for the good stuff you've been waiting for.

2 Planning: Take Your Time

This is important, because women are like crock pots, men are like microwaves. It just takes us longer to heat up. Or, if you like, women are like diesel engines; once we get revved up, we can go for miles (hours). You're the mechanic. Some women like to be taken by surprise and ravished, but most of us need a lot more time to REALLY get into it. A woman's sexuality is like a plant. It needs to be tended to, taken care of, watered regularly. Being that you're the one with the hose, you're the gardener. It's up to you to water her plant, or it will wilt and die. (I'm talking foreplay here boys, not just intercourse.)

When a woman's emotional needs are being met and she feels loved and secure in the relationship, she will bloom sexually as well. (ie: you have more, hotter sex). This is where asking all those questions pays off. Some women never really bloom because the man in her life is too selfish to meet her needs—and has no freaking clue what he's missing!

Pay attention to her answers, and do your best to provide her with what she says she needs. Even if you don't get it all right at first, she will appreciate the effort you put into being romantic, and the more comfortable she will become sharing her sexual side with you.

For a woman, a fantastic night of great sex actually begins that morning. A woman actually requires several dozen non sexual touches a day. Basically, we like to be touched, but not alwasys sexually. Holding hands, hugging, a caress, can be enough to make us feel the first twinges of desire for you. If your not the one doing ALL the touching, she is likely to find someone who will. Here is an example:

Take the time to romance her all day. Set the alarm at least an hour earlier if you can and just spend time kissing. Tell her what it is that attracts you to her, all the reasons you love her. Tell her how much you are looking forward to the night. Bring her breakfast in bed. Take a shower together; tease her a bit, but don't finish; no matter how much you both want to. The goal is to build up to the night time action. Take the time to kiss her at the door; until you can't wait to come home at night, and she can't wait to have you home.

During breaks and on lunch, call her or text her; say something sexy that will make you both wish you were home right then. Arrange for her to get flowers sent to the house before you get home, or leave love notes where she will find them after you leave for work; in her car, in her purse, on the bathroom mirror, in the desk. Whatever.

When you get home, unplug the phone, answering machine, disconnect the doorbell, cart the kids off to a sitter, or grandmas, or send them to a friends house for a sleepover, get dressed up, and take her out to dinner, it doesn't have to be expensive. Or make a meal at home. Cooking together can be very erotic; especially if its done naked. (Don't cook with hot grease if you go naked.) Feed each other; really talk to each other, not about kids, school, work, bills, health problems, the respective parents; nothing that will kill the mood. Be romantic, be silly, be seductive. Take your time and enjoy the meal.

Later, take turns giving each other a massage; with warm, not hot, oils (even olive oil) tease each other; caress; discover every inch of her skin, find her non obvious erroneous zones, (collarbone, neck, ears, inner arm, feet, back of knees, her butt, her back, her sides); its different for every woman, and she may not even know all of them. Help her discover all of them. Make her bloom. Patience is the key here.

No matter how impatient you feel, take a deep breath; do multiplication tables, count to 20, whatever works, and keep going. Focusing on her pleasure will pay off for you in the end when she calls you the best lover she's ever had, no matter what size you are. (It really doesn't matter to most women, especially if your focusing on foreplay. If your insecure about it, don't be. Trust me; if you tease her enough, she won't be thinking about that, and neither should you.)

Caress her, kiss her, lick her; everywhere but her breasts and her clit. This teasing will drive her nuts. You may have to keep her hands off of you. Be prepared to tie her (use soft materials, use a square knot.) down so she can't hurry things up. Don't stop teasing her until she's begging. This process could take hours, if you're that patient.

3 Make Her Wild

Ok, now that you've sufficiently romanced, wined, dined, tickled, teased and tormented her, turn up the heat on her crock pot. Focus on her breasts for at least an hour; see if you can make her climax just by teasing them. Most women can, if they are aroused enough. Make it your goal of the night to see how many orgasms she can have. Don't be afraid to take directions, and let her know you WANT her to tell you what she likes. No matter how tempted you are, don't speed things up; keep teasing and her; go slow, no matter what she says.

Find her clit, or let her show put your hand there, tease her with your mouth, lips, tongue, fingers, feathers, toys; be very gentle, and ask her to direct you; don't be shy; the better she feels, the better she will make you feel later. Don't use your teeth unless she asks you to. (Imagine how it would feel if she bit down on you) It doesn't feel good for us either. Make her cum a minimum of 3-5 times before you continue. At some point, she will probably become overly sensitive; back off a little and let her cool down some. Continued stimulation would be similar to her biting down on your balls right as your trying to come. It hurts, and not it a good way. A multi-orgasmic woman can have several climaxes one right after the other; you'll know your successful if she is moaning loudly, begging, calling your name, screaming, thrashing, biting, hissing, swearing, clawing, pulling your hair, begging you to stop but holding you to her, bucking, tossing her head, whimpering, crying, trembling, rolls her eyes in the back of her head and gets as stiff as a board, squirts, grunts, groans, claws the sheets, and finally, screams at the top of her lungs.

Only then do you finally enter her. Even then, don't just pound away at her, find a rhythm. She will be a wildcat; because you actually took the time to please her the way she always imagined someone would.

Not every encounter has to be as detailed as this one, or as planned out, but the same amount of effort should be there, no matter how creative you get. Any man that takes the time to make a woman experience the best sex of her life, will never again be wishing he had more sex. She will never want to deny you sex, but you have to be willing to wait to get her to that point. Once she has, she will bloom sexually, and pursue sex with you probably several times a week, if not every day, twice a day, and you'll have moved well beyond mediocre sex. You won't be the one begging for sex, anymore, and she will begin seducing you, so long as you make sure to tell her what you like. You will never have to worry about her finding another man, so long as you keep in tune (you're the mechanic remember?) with her emotional and sexual needs, and once she blooms sexually and becomes a tiger in bed, you won't want to find woman either.

PS; Every woman WANTS to be a tiger for the man she loves; he just has to help her to bloom first.

By Lillianna Morgan for Literotica

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how-to-do-it-better · 4 days

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Sexy Seniors

A discussion of Advanced Maturity and Sexuality

By Mark Stibich, PhD. Listen to the ► podcast at How To Sex.

Many people in their 70s and 80s are not only sexually active, but satisfied with their senior sex lives.

University of Michigan Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation. Let’s talk about sex. Though the frequency or ability to perform sexually may decline with age due to physiological changes, these don't necessarily affect how a person experiences or enjoys sex.

Aging-related problems like erectile dysfunction (ED), vaginal dryness, or urinary incontinence can affect sex. But their impact can also be minimized by using medication, managing chronic conditions, seeking individual or couples counseling, and changing sexual practices.

This article explores the sex lives of adults 65 and over and the problems that can interfere with sex as the body ages. It also discusses the various treatment options and ways to maintain—or even jumpstart—your senior sex life.

Studies suggest that men are almost twice as likely as women to still have sex or masturbate in their later years. A British study found close to 60% of men ages 70 to 80 and 31% of men ages 80 to 90 are still sexually active. In women, those figures drop to 34% and 14%, respectively.

This lower rate of sexual activity in older women may be due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. Research shows that older women are less likely to have partners (due in large part to the fact that they often outlive their partners). This is sometimes referred to as "the partner gap."

It is common for men to experience sexual problems after age 40. Reasons include a natural decline in testosterone levels, heart disease, and prostate problems. The inability to achieve or sustain an erection or reach orgasm or ejaculation are common concerns.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual penetration and long enough to achieve orgasm.

While ED is more common in older men, aging itself does not cause the problem. ED is related to conditions, sometimes several at once, that directly or indirectly interfere with erections.

Risk factors include high blood pressure, diabetic nerve damage, smoking, obesity, Peyronie's disease, depression, and even certain medications. An accurate diagnosis is needed to ensure the right treatment.

ED drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Levitra (vardenafil), and Cialis (tadalafil) are often the first-line treatments for ED. Lifestyle changes and counseling can also help. For some men, hormonal therapy, penis pumps, and penile implants may be recommended.

Is There a Female Viagra?

Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia

Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a non-cancerous enlarged prostate and one of the most common health problems in older males.6 BPH can cause symptoms like difficulty urinating, frequent urination, or waking up in the middle of the night to urinate (nocturia).

On top of this, BPH can cause sexual problems like low libido (low sex drive) and delayed ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm).

Among the treatment options, testosterone therapy may help restore libido. There are also certain drugs used off-label that may help with delayed ejaculation, including cabergoline (originally marketed as Dostinex) and Wellbutrin (bupropion).7

Because some BPH medications can also cause sexual dysfunction, a change in the dose may help resolve these concerns.

Lifestyle Changes to Treat Erectile Dysfunction

Sexual Health Problems in Older Women

More than a third of older women experience sexual problems. These are typically due to menopause, when estrogen levels steeply decline. Hormonal changes can lessen sexual desire and make it harder to become aroused.

Sexual organs also change as a person gets older. A woman's vagina will shorten and narrow. The vaginal walls become thinner and less flexible, tearing more easily. Vaginal lubrication decreases, making vaginal intercourse more painful.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is diagnosed when an absence of sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires causes personal distress. It is a problem that is common among many older women.

A medication known as Addyi (flibanserin) is used to treat HSDD in women. It is currently only approved for premenopausal women, but research shows that it can also improve libido in older women as well.

Risk of Low Libido After Menopause

Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness is uncomfortable and can make sex painful. Over-the-counter (OTC) remedies that can help relieve irritation and itching from vaginal dryness include lubricants such as K-Y Jelly or vaginal suppositories like Replens.

If OTC remedies don’t help, your doctor may prescribe estrogen cream as well as estrogen-containing vaginal rings and vaginal suppositories.

There are also plant-based products, like black cohosh, that have estrogen-like effects. These should be used with caution in women who have had or are at risk of breast cancer.

Pain With Sex

Painful intercourse is more likely in older women as vaginal tissue tends to thin and tear easily after menopause. Standard treatments for vaginal dryness can often help ease pain during sex.

If that is not effective, prescription drugs like Osphena (ospemifene) and Intrarosa (prasterone) can treat thinning vaginal tissues and help relieve moderate to severe vaginal dryness.

Dealing With Painful Intercourse After Menopause

Pelvic Organ Prolapse

The pelvic floor muscles and tissues hold the bladder, uterus, cervix, vagina, and rectum in place. Pelvic organ prolapse (POP) occurs when the pelvic floor weakens, causing the pelvic organs to drop and bulge (prolapse) in the vagina. This can cause pelvic pain and pressure, pain with sex, and urinary incontinence.

POP is often treated with pelvic floor physical therapy to strengthen the supporting muscles. In some cases, surgery may be needed.

What Is Uterine Prolapse?

Other Health Concerns

Chronic medical conditions become more common as a person ages. Many of these can interfere with an older person's sex life.

Arthritis and Chronic Pain

Arthritis and other chronic pain conditions are common among older adults and can make sex very difficult. Depending on the cause, doctors may recommend physical therapy to strengthen muscles and improve flexibility.

Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), both over-the-counter and prescription, can be taken before sex to help ease the pain. Opioid drugs, while effective as a pain reliever, can cause a drop in testosterone and contribute to ED.

If the pain only occurs in certain sexual positions, let your partner know and try different positions. Bolstering your bodies with pillows and cushions can also help.

Best Positions for Sex With Back Pain

Diabetes

In the United States, almost one-third of adults over 65 have diabetes. Approximately half of these are undiagnosed.

Diabetes can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. This can be due to circulation problems, medication side effects, or nerve damage. Problems include:

Low libido

Difficulty with arousal

Erectile dysfunction

Painful intercourse

Reduced genital sensation

Urinary tract infections

Yeast infections

The best way to reduce the impact of diabetes is to gain control of your blood sugar. Speak with your doctor if you have difficulty managing your blood sugar, and be sure to mention any sexual health problems you may be having. It's important for your doctor to know.

Heart Disease

Older age is the greatest risk factor for heart disease. Heart disease causes problems as arteries start to narrow and harden (referred to as atherosclerosis). This reduces blood flow throughout the body, including the pelvis and genitals, resulting in sexual dysfunction in both men and women.

Heart disease is one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction in men. It can also cause women to have difficulty achieving orgasm due to the decreased blood flow to the genitals.

There is no one way to resolve these issues, but there is evidence that statin drugs used to reduce the risk of heart disease can improve erectile dysfunction in some men.19 Some studies suggest that similar approaches may improve sexual function in women with heart disease.

People with heart disease may also be nervous about sex due to fear of a heart attack. While sexual activity is generally safe, talk to your health provider if you are concerned.

Navigating Sex After a Heart Attack

Obesity

Today, more than 40% of adults over 65 meet the definition of obesity. Research shows that women who are obese are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction than non-obese women. In addition, obesity increases the odds of erectile dysfunction in men.

These issues may be directly related to higher rates of diabetes among people who are obese as well as reduced blood circulation due to atherosclerosis.

Weight loss, achieved with a healthy diet and routine exercise, is considered the best strategy to overcome obesity. It may also improve a person's self-image and sense of well-being while making sex easier to navigate.

Urinary Incontinence

Urinary incontinence is the loss of bladder control. This becomes more common with age, especially in women.

Incontinence can be embarrassing and make sex awkward. Women who experience stress incontinence may be afraid to orgasm. Extra pressure on the abdomen during intercourse can also cause urinary leakage.

If you have incontinence, empty your bladder before sex. Changing sexual positions can help prevent urinary leakage by avoiding the compression of the bladder. Pelvic floor exercises can also help strengthen the muscles that aid with urine control.

Medications

Some medications used in older adults can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. These include:25

Antidepressants

Antihistamines

Chemotherapy

Diuretics ("water pills")

High blood pressure medicines

Opioid painkillers

If you are having sexual difficulties, let your doctor know and advise them of any drugs you are taking, including over-the-counter, prescription, or recreational.

Lifestyle and Mental Health

Lifestyle and mental health issues can also contribute to sexual problems in older adults. These issues can be just as difficult—and sometimes even more difficult—to overcome than physical ones. If you are faced with any of these issues, there are things you can do to turn them around.

Alcohol

For some people, drinking a glass of wine helps them relax and get in the mood. However, too much alcohol can end up impairing sexual function. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, alcohol is the most-used drug among older adults, with 65% of people 65 and older reporting high-risk drinking.

Alcohol can impair a man's ability to get an erection, cause premature ejaculation, or delay orgasm. In women, too much alcohol can make it difficult to climax.

Reducing the amount you drink can help, but if you are unable to control your alcohol use, speak to your doctor about treatment options.

Depression

In the United States, between 5% and 10% of adults over 65 are estimated to be depressed. This can lead to many health concerns, including sexual dysfunction.

In people with depression, neurotransmitters—chemical messengers that send signals between the brain and body—are out of balance. This can affect sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm. Ironically, medications used to treat depression can have the same effects.

While the benefits of antidepressants often outweigh the risks, therapy and counseling may offer a reasonable option for those with mild depression.

Stress

Stress can be a contributing factor to sexual dysfunction. Financial worries and health concerns are just some of the common stresses affecting older adults.

To relieve stress (and the effect it has on your sex life), consider stress management techniques like mindful breathing, tai chi, yoga, and meditation. Research shows practicing mindfulness and meditation can ease the effects of stress and improve overall feelings of well-being. This alone may help improve sex.

In addition, seek professional assistance from financial advisors, health advocates, and social workers to help better deal with the other stresses in your life.

Relationship Issues

Lack of sexual intimacy is often related to relationship problems. If you are and your partner are not connecting emotionally, it can lessen your desire to be intimate.

On the flip side, studies show that older couples who engage in sexual intercourse with their partner are likely to share a closer relationship. Moreover, closeness to one’s partner has been shown to increase overall well-being.

While this issue is not unique to older couples, many people find talking to a marriage counselor can help them work through relationship issues and rekindle sexual feelings and attraction.

Self-Image

With age can come weight gain and other body changes that may affect one's sense of physical attractiveness. Self-consciousness can spill over into the bedroom and affect a person's confidence during sex.

A 2019 study among older women found that those who were self-conscious about their bodies reported less sexual satisfaction. By contrast, those who had greater self-acceptance of their bodies irrespective of weight or aging-related changes had a more satisfying sex life.

Self-acceptance is ultimately the key. Working with a therapist, either alone or as a couple, can help you discuss your feelings openly and find a way to embrace a more positive self-image.

How to Maintain a Healthy Sex Life

The benefits of maintaining your sex life as you age are physical and emotional. Being sexually active is associated with a lower risk of medical conditions and a longer life. It's also associated with a greater sense of happiness and overall well-being.

If your sex life has become stagnant and you'd like to rev it back up, here are a few things you can do.

Communicate

Good sex begins with good communication. Couples who have been together a long time often think they know what the other is thinking. But no one is a mind reader.

Talk to your partner about any concerns you have. You may feel as though your mate is no longer attracted to you because sex has become infrequent, when in fact they are experiencing a decline in sexual interest.

In addition, as sex organs change with age, what felt good before may no longer feel good or may even be painful. Be open with your partner about these changes.

Communicating about sex can be challenging at any age, however. If you and your partner struggle to talk about sex, consider seeing a sex therapist.

Redefine Sex

Sex, as you get older, may need to change. But different can still be good, if not better. With an empty nest and possibly retirement, there’s more time and privacy to explore.

Research shows older adults have a broader definition of sexual activity than younger adults. In other words, they better understand that there is more to sex than just intercourse. Foreplay on its own can be quite satisfying.

Be creative and willing to try new things.

Rethink Intimacy

Sex isn't just physical. It’s an emotional expression of intimacy. As you grow older, sexual intimacy changes. What this means to you and your partner may need to be redefined.

Emotional intimacy can be expressed through non-sexual physical touch. Examples of non-sexual physical touch include:

Back rubs

Cuddling

Holding hands

Hugging

Placing your hand on your partner's shoulder or arm

Playful nudges

Sitting next to each other

Touching feet under the table

Another non-sexual way to build emotional intimacy is spending quality time together. Things you can do:

Go out on dates with other couples.

Look through old photos and reminisce.

Play cards, board games, or word games.

Read aloud to each other.

Play music together.

Travel, explore new places.

Visit with friends or family.

Just Do It

Instead of waiting for the desire to strike, experts recommend that older adults just go for it. This is because sex has physical and emotional benefits. Orgasms release oxytocin, a hormone that induces a state of calm and improves sleep.

Even if you’re not in the mood, having sex can set the stage for more sex in the future. This is especially true for women. Having sex regularly helps increase natural lubrication and vaginal elasticity. It may also improve erections in men.

Summary

Older age can lead to sexual problems in different ways. Age alone increases the risk of erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, low libido, vaginal dryness, and pelvic organ prolapse. Medical conditions like arthritis, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and incontinence can also directly or indirectly interfere with sex.

Lifestyle and emotional issues that can impair sexual function in all ages can become even more profound in adults 65 years and older. These include stress, depression, negative self-image, relationship problems, and alcohol abuse.

By working with a doctor or therapist, you can overcome many of these concerns and improve not only your quality of life but your sex life as well. Keeping open lines of communication and embracing change as a natural part of life can also help keep your sex life fresh as you approach your later years.

By Mark Stibich, PhD for Very Well Health

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how-to-do-it-better · 5 days

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How To Talk Dirty

The keys to open up some pretty wild doors.

By heel licker & By Bats and Glamour. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

He's asked you to talk dirty, but you don't know how.

1: Remember, he is the one that asked you to talk dirty. He has no complaints if you talk too dirty. Besides, the chances of you talking too dirty for him are slim. Don't hold back.

"You motherfucker. You've turned me into a slut, haven't you?"

Of course replace this shocker with your own. Make it as nasty you want it to be.

6: Once you've gone through talking dirty a time or two throw this how-to away and do what comes naturally. Now you are really ready to use that dirty mouth of yours.

How To Talk Dirty To Your Lover

The keys to open up some pretty wild doors.

By Bats and Glamour

One thing I’ve been asked to write about – very often – is talking dirty. The kind of erotic talk that heats things up in bed – on the floor, over the kitchen sink – wherever.

On one end of the spectrum, you have sex so silent that it could qualify for a covert operation behind enemy lines. I think there are some concrete reasons for this speechless sex.

The only clear instructions for Christians is when the Apostle says “Don’t use corrupt communication. Speak so that others are encouraged by your words.”

A: Either one or both of the parties feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about sex.

B: Either one or both of the parties feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about any talking during sex because of upbringing, religious beliefs or what have you.

C: There is a high level of inexperience.

D: Nobody knows what to say or how to get started.

I wish you good luck, good health and good sex. No matter what your age or sexual preference, live a passionate life and keep the spirit alive.

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how-to-do-it-better · 6 days

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A Guy's Guide To His 1st Date

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.

With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.

Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.

How to find someone to date:

Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.

How-to guide for kissing:

How to disrobe your date:

How to get on the bed:

Last year I tried to explain getting on the bed while kissing. A totally bad idea!

Another time my date and I were kissing when we fell together on the bed. She sent me her dental bill for the loose teeth she received.

How to use foreplay:

These kinds of decisions never have to be made on TV shows.

Let's talk a little about oral sex. It's a big decision these days. One thing every man ought to know. If you don't plan on eating her pussy then don't expect her to be giving you any head.

We had a big discussion last year over whether a person with false teeth should keep them in or take them out.

I asked for opinions on this and here are a few I received.

"If you have false teeth, leave them in your mouth. It is gross for your date to see your teeth in a glass next to the bed."

How to get that, "Oh, what a feeling":

Last year I said, "Most pussies are really not that pretty. I have seen a lot of them and still get turned on by them, regardless of how ugly they might be."

Also, I have yet to find the woman that says, "Pull your dick out of my pussy, I'm about ready to orgasm, but go ahead and cum on my face."

Use the condom, fill it up while in her pussy and then dispose of it. You'll both be glad you did.

Some more information from last year. I'm still not big on anal sex.

Update from a friend: "If a woman lets a man take her in the ass and then shits all over the floor, it's not her fault. So don't hold her responsible - you asked for it. Clean up the mess yourself."

By DG Hear

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how-to-do-it-better · 7 days

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Sex Should Be Fun, Not Dirty

A few things that gross me out about porno myths

By LargoKitt. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What I HATE About Porn

Right up front let me make it clear that I watch erotica, read erotica, and write erotica. Please scope out my stories or poems or even my art and I think you will be pleased. Porn is very ancient stuff. Prehistoric people were making images designed to turn them on, and I'm sure they were sitting around the campfire and telling spicy stories. Motivating people to do the deed and plant the seed has been a major push for millennia. Hindus and Greeks and lots of other folks have gods who celebrate procreation. Heck, the Bible contains the steamy Song of Solomon. And in Genesis, God never said, "Don't fuck." He said, "Be fruitful and multiply."

Don’t Make Me Feel Shitty

Bottom line: whatever your kink, sex should be fun for all members of the party and their members, and fun shouldn't make you feel weird and guilty.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

And for lesbian couples this literally goes double. Two loving gals are not usually eager to pretend to be hard dick-jamming men.

Lesbian Porn

Butt?

Roughly Sensual?

All the senses say something

Sprayed vs filled?

Stay Unselfish

And if you like erotic stories, videos, audios, pix then use the ones that respect people and avoid the ones that don't.

If the maker breaks those golden rules, don't watch or pay for that shit.

The 11 Best Sexual Positions for Satisfying Sex

Tons of sexual positions can bring mutual satisfaction, but do you know which ones both you and your partner can enjoy? Check out these 11 you might want to try the next time you get frisky.

By Ashley Welch

Switch up your sexual routine so you and your partner can rekindle your connection.

What Are the Best Ways to Have Mutually Satisfying Sex?

Many couples are figuring out exactly those benefits, according to research funded by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

Try New Sexual Positions to Spice Things Up

You don’t have to be a gymnast to make these moves pay off. Don’t think “crazy sex positions,” rather “new sex positions” to create more heat between the sheets.

1: The Missionary Position or Face-to-Face

Potential Benefits or Caveats Intimate but not necessarily mutually satisfying.

Try Female-Friendly Intercourse Positions

"In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a certified sexuality educator and professor emerita at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

2: Cowgirl

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep penetration and sensations vary; clitoral stimulation.

Details In this position, the man lies on his back while the partner being penetrated faces them and kneels, straddling his pelvis. She can then sit up or lie down on her man.

6 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Married Sex Life

Making things more interesting in the bedroom doesn't have to be hard. Try these simple tips to create more heat between the sheets.

3: Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Rider on Top

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Buttocks play, visual stimulations, opportunities for variations; may cause pain.

4: Doggy Style or Rear Entry

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration and G-spot stimulation but the position can feel impersonal.

5: The Corkscrew

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Intense, deep penetration.

Switch It Up Your partner can easily lean down to make out with you, and the clitoris is within easy reach, according to Bradbury.

6: Side by Side or Sideways

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep eye contact and intimacy.

7: Flat Iron or Lazy Dog

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Tightness on penetration, intense stimulation.

8: Face-Off

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats With intense eye contact and clitoral stimulation, this can be an enhanced missionary position.

Switch It Up The lotus position is very similar to face-off, only the man sits crossed-legged on the bed or chair.

9: Pretzel Dip

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration with potential for G-spot stimulation.

10: Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Clitoral stimulation.

11: Sixty-Nine (or 69)

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Mutual oral stimulation.

Keep Switching It Up: Sexual Variety Is Exciting

By LargoKitt & Ashley Welch for Literotica and EverydayHealth.

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how-to-do-it-better · 8 days

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How to make him scream for you

What every man wishes you knew

By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn…well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.

Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT… Well, ladies, I catch them…and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.

Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.

Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.

You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s… she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!

Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t…You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you didn’t keep your buns firm or your underwear sexy. You bored him into leaving and you berated him for not liking you that way. And you follow it up with insulting him after the fact that he’s shallow, and he has the problems! So were the cupcakes for the bake sale really THAT important? Cause you sure act like they are!

Men want fantasy, they want entertainment, they want the princess we are, they want the fairy sprite, the little girl in us who dreams, they want eternal youth from our INSIDES, but they also want the slut lurking within us all, they want excitement and to fly, and then land safely, they want to be our wings, our angels of destiny and if we deny them that part of us, if we refuse to go with them or let them take us on their flights of fancy, they lose, but so do we, all we are is housekeepers then, neither queen or whore, and not their partner in life either, we become grounded as the world moves on without us. We just exist to make dinner, when we could be going on exotic trips and living a life of dreams. We choose to be dull and boring, and then whine they don’t.

Classic sex symbols, from Mae West to Madonna, from Liz Taylor to Brittney Spears, are women men dream of, women of passion and fire, women who are playful and adventurous and have a natural sexuality. Men, dream of a nymphomaniac in their lives, or at least one who can be one at times? They want to be cherished, and adored and worshipped, and they should be! They want to be teased and pleased and played with. They want a playmate, a friend and a confidant. They want a woman who makes them proud, who their friends go WOW, where’d you find THAT one, you must be a stud huh? To keep HER! It’s a man thing, it’s pride, its competitiveness, it’s what makes them happy…its what makes them manly, ladies, if you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman!

They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement. And we sort of end up handing them Chef Boyardee and saying What’s your problem? Well, gosh, dinner from a can, might be some of it, the Dog eats dinner from a can, and we pet the darned dog at least? Or I pet mine, but maybe my dog lives better than your man does too? Consider that. That’s sort of sad isn’t it, for him.

They want her to be glamorous at times, slinky and sexy. They want her to be natural at times, and able to get ready in less than an hour, they want her in baseball caps and jeans, as they sit and fantasize about how hot she was last night, and watch her looking like a tomboy now. They want her to like their bodies, and revel in them, as males, to act like a greedy sexual creature who can’t get enough, at times, as well as listen to their thoughts, and try to make their dreams come true.

They want her to be all the women in the world at once, pure and innocent, devilish and dangerous, squirmy and high spirited, needy and soft, nurturing and comforting, and sexually awake and aware of sensual pleasures. They want the mother in us, the sister, and the slut, they want us to be as multi-dimensional as they are. They want the lady in the living room, the whore in the bedroom, and always have. Be that, and able to carry on a conversation about something other than yourself and your interests, and they will all eat from your hand, with pleasure.

And if we give them that, they really don’t care if we make dinner, or vacuum, they’ll do it, they’ll hire a maid, or they’ll take us out to dinner! Trust me on this, ladies, I don’t do housework! I do keep my passport handy just in case. It takes so long to go back for it, is why, we may miss the flight! I go places, I do things, I get taken out, and away, and I love that I do, they carry my bags, they open doors, and they buy me things to please me! And they call later! I love men, and it shows, and they love me right back!

They don’t want to hear, oooh, yuck, and no way, and you’re kidding, I’m not doing that! They want her to blush and go really? You want me to do that, for real, and try it…they want us to tell them that things feel good, and why, and how to touch us. They want to please us so we do go out of our minds with pleasure. They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t! Who cares if lettuce is twenty cents less, like change matters? Now if you could do something sexual with that lettuce they’d want to know about that. They want to be pleased, surprised, seduced, coveted, treated with awe, and worshipped, that’s all! They want to be on a pedestal, just like they put us on one! And for that, they will give us everything they have, can find, can earn and look for more if it pleases us. We become their goddess, but only if we make them our gods…

I’m sexual, very…I like sex, I like a lot of it’s aspects, I enjoy exploring it, and adventuring in it. And there are men, who don’t like it as much as I do, that prefer quieter realms and softer ones, there are compatitble types, there are. But they still crave the sex, the affection and the bonding, and they have to have it ladies, it isn’t about they physically need, it’s how they express themselves to us, if we would only learn to listen! It’s their language, it’s primal, it’s instinctive and it holds them totally in its’ thrall, when we deny them that, they have to go looking, it’s male. They cannot survive without it, and neither can I.

I like a lot of different flavors in life, from the spicy to the sweet, to the hot and ice cold, salt and vinergar to sublimely mild. I like tastes, I like feelings, I like emotional intercourse, which by definition is communication. When we bond together in physical unity we can’t hide from each other, we allow each other inside us, and to me, life without that is pretty boring.

Changing our approach is so easy, it really is. When we join that exercise class at the gym, instead of whining about the effort and expecting to be praised, all we have to do is strip down and show them our behinds daily and say, “What do you think, is it getting smaller, is it getting tighter?” And they love it, and smile, and go hmmm, some, come over here, let me check closer. Then it becomes, for him, we work out, and then they’re more than happy to share it…they’ll check our progress with glee…and insist we take more classes, if they get to be part of it like THAT?

If we make dinner, add candles, dress for him, cook in just an apron for heavens sake? Want him to take out the trash more? Stand there naked. Wear a thong…and say, Like this? Well, as soon as I take out the trash? If I’m still in this mood…the trash is gone, girls, never to be mentioned again…if he forgets? Wear that same outfit…he will learn fast…see thong, take out garbage, get some, it’s like electricity to men. They’ll move so fast and while they’re out there, they’ll put your car away and close the garage door, they do not want more interruptions! As in phew, got her mind on me finally…I got to keep remembering that trash, or yikes she’s gonna find someone who will! Men learn so much quicker than we do. It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, oh no, he won’t forget…every day for six years, he’ll remember the naked woman saying I’m gonna take out the trash now…like his own private pin up girl.

And kids? Oh right those anti-romance creatures, uh, feed them early, put them to bed, they’ve had you all day? Daddy’s turn. Get a sitter, trade with a neighbor down the street, you keep mine tonight, I”ll keep yours tomorrow night…just give that man, some of what he needs, he’ll be happy! He had the kids, he loves them, just once in a while, he wants to play with the grownups too. And it doesn’t hurt the kids to be told, Mommy and Daddy are going to play together tonight, it’s our turn. You guys are going to bed early so we can. Give you Dad kiss now, night night.

And if I hear one more woman tell me she’s tired, in this day of electric appliances and television, here’s my answer…you will be more tired if you work all day and come home and then take care of the kids and have no one to help. Take a nap, plan it, don’t wear your self out dusting once in awhile, schedule your man like he matters! Quit whining, once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in, so what is your excuse? The dishwasher door was so heavy to close you’re tired now? He worked all day, he’s tired too! And all he wants is a cuddle and a squeeze and a big smile to see him and to cop a feel, like that’s hard to give him? Uh, give it to him ladies, or know, someone else will.

Men need several things, acceptance of their masculinity, pride in their existence, self esteem, love, affection, sensual pleasures, credit for their contributions, titillation and warm welcome, and to be important in their own lives and for that, they will give you everything they can gather to honor you and please you, they’ll lay anything at your feet, if you just treat them with respect and admiration.

It’s our call girls, it is…and it’s ok with me, if you don’t want to wake up to it! Cause your husband takes me to Mexico while you’re busy at the PTA meeting, and I like going on trips to exotic destinations…and being treated like I’m important and wined and dined and catered to. You can do the PTA if you want? It’s ok with me!

Doubt me? Ask any man.

By almost for Literotica.

from How-To Sex Podcast https://how-to-sex-podcast.tumblr.com/post/744493229006848000

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how-to-do-it-better · 9 days

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How To Make Her Scream For you

A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.

By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them.

There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex.

1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs

2 Planning: Take Your Time

3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild

No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew.

THE 20 QUESTIONS:

1; What are her sexual fantasies?

2; What gets her in the mood?

3; What turns her off?

4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry?

5; Is she feeling loved by you?

6; Is she feeling desirable to you?

7; How does she like to be touched?

8; How does she hate to be touched?

9; How does she like to touch herself?

10; How does she WISH you would touch her?

11; What makes her feel more relaxed?

12; What makes her feel uncomfortable?

13; What makes her hot for YOU?

14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex?

15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes?

Ask her these questions first:

16; What kind of relationship do we have now?

17; What kind of relationship do you want?

18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month?

She might think you've lost your mind because such a thing is so foreign to you, and it's the LAST thing she ever thought you would say. Feel free to print this out and show it to her, I don't mind.

THE HEART OF A WOMAN (From the book Captivating, by Staci Eldridge)

2 Planning: Take Your Time

3 Make Her Wild

PS; Every woman WANTS to be a tiger for the man she loves; he just has to help her to bloom first.

By Lillianna Morgan for Literotica

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how-to-do-it-better · 10 days

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What Are Sex Toys?

Can I find a device make it better for us?

By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

A battery-charged vibrator

Sex toys — also called adult toys or “marital aids” — are objects people use to have more pleasure during sex or masturbation. Sometimes sex toys can also have medical uses if you have a sexual dysfunction or medical condition. There are many different types of sex toys, and people use them for lots of different reasons.

It’s totally normal to use sex toys, but it’s also totally normal not to — it’s a personal decision, and everyone’s different. As long as you’re using sex toys safely, there’s nothing harmful about it.

Why do people use sex toys?

All kinds of people may choose to use sex toys, for many different reasons. For some, using sex toys is the easiest (or only) way they can have an orgasm — this is especially common for women. Sometimes people use sex toys to help them masturbate. People also use sex toys during sex with their lovers.

Some people with disabilities or limited mobility use sex toys to make it easier to masturbate, have sex, or do sexual activities or positions that would otherwise be harder or not possible for them.

Sex toys can also help treat the symptoms of certain disorders, like erectile dysfunction, genital arousal disorder, hypoactive sexual disorder, and orgasm disorder. And some people find that sex toys help them deal with the sexual side effects of certain medications, health conditions, or menopause — like a low sex drive or decreased sensation in their genitals.

What are the different types of sex toys?

Strap-on dildo harness

There are thousands of different sex toys out there. Some of the most common ones include:

Vibrators (aka vibes, personal massagers) — Objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. It’s very common for people to use vibrators to stimulate their clitoris and other parts of their vulva and vagina. But vibrators can also stimulate the penis, scrotum and testicles, nipples, and anus. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Some can go inside a vagina or anus, and others are meant to be used outside the body.

Dildos — Objects that go inside a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they’re often shaped like a penis. Some look like realistic penises, and others are more abstract. They can also be slightly curved, to help stimulate your g-spot or prostate. Dildos can be made out of lots of different materials, like silicone, rubber, plastic, metal, or, break-resistant glass.

Anal toys — Sex toys made specifically to stimulate and/or go inside your anus. Anal toys include plugs (usually called butt plugs), anal beads, prostate massagers, and dildos with a wide base. You need to use lube to use anal toys safely. And it’s very important that any toy you put in your butt has a flared base (meaning it’s wider at the bottom) or some other way to pull the toy out, so it can’t accidentally slip all the way in. If a sex toy goes all the way inside your butt, it could get stuck and you may have to go to the doctor to get it out.

Sleeves (aka masturbation sleeves, penis sleeves, or strokers) — Soft tubes that you put your penis into. Sleeves come in all shapes and sizes, and often have different textures on the inside for more sensation. Some even have vibration or suction. There are also strokers that are specially designed for a larger clitoris or smaller penis, particularly for intersex people or trans men on hormone therapy.

Penis rings (aka cock rings, erectile dysfunction rings, or constriction rings) — rings that go around your scrotum and/or penis. Penis rings slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect (hard), which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting. The safest penis rings are made from soft, flexible materials that you can easily remove, like silicone, rubber, or leather with snaps. Some penis rings have little vibrators on them, to stimulate you and/or your partner. Because penis rings restrict your blood flow, don’t wear one for longer than 10-30 minutes, and take it off right away if you feel any pain or discomfort. And talk to your nurse or doctor before using penis rings if you have a bleeding disorder or are on blood-thinning medicine.

Pumps (aka penis pumps, vacuum pumps, or vacuum erection pumps) — Vacuum-like devices that use a hand or battery-powered pump to create suction around your penis, clitoris, vulva, or nipples. Pumps used negative air pressure to create a vacuum, which drives blood flow to the area, which helps increase sensitivity and sensation. Some people also like the feeling of the suction. Penis pumps can help you get an erection, but they won’t make your penis permanently bigger. Some pumps are designed to help treat erectile dysfunction, genital arousal disorder, and orgasm disorder — you can get more information about these pumps from a nurse or doctor. But most of the pumps you buy in sex stores or adult shops are not medical devices, they’re just meant to enhance pleasure during sex and masturbation. Make sure to follow the instructions, and don’t pump for longer than the instructions say. And talk to your healthcare team before using a pump if you have a blood disorder, or are on blood-thinning medication.

Ben Wa balls (aka Kegel balls, Kegel trainers, vagina balls, orgasm balls) — Round objects that you put inside your vagina. They can help you do exercises that tone and strengthen your Kegel muscles (aka pelvic floor muscles). Kegel balls are usually weighted so you have to squeeze your vagina to keep them inside your body. Some are hollow with smaller balls inside that roll and bounce when you move, making a jiggling sensation. You don’t need these balls to do Kegel exercises, and not everyone uses them for that purpose — many people just like the way they feel inside their vagina.

Packers (a k a prosthetics) — objects that look and feel like a realistic penis (usually soft) that create a “bulge” in your underwear or clothes. Some packers also let you pee standing up (called stand-to-pee or STP packers). Like with anyone’s genitals, packers aren’t always sexual or used for sex. But some packers can be worn bent down or sticking up, so they can resemble both a non-erect (soft) penis and an erect (hard) penis, and can be used for sex.

Harnesses (aka straps or strap-on harnesses) — garments that hold a packer, dildo, or other sex toy against your body. Some are worn like underwear or jock straps, and others may go around other parts of your body, like your thigh.

Cock Sleeve

There are so many different kinds of sex toys and ways to use them that figuring out where to start can feel a little overwhelming. Going to a sex toy shop and asking someone who works there about different products can be a great way to learn more about sex toys and what might work well for you. You can also just try something that seems interesting and go from there. Or you may decide sex toys aren’t for you, and that’s totally Okay too. The point is that there are lots of options for different bodies and different kinds of sex — so no matter who you are or what kinds of sex you have, sex toys can be an option for you.

How do I use sex toys safely?

Sharing sex toys with other people can spread a sexually transmitted disease; referred to as an STD.

If someone who has an STD uses a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy. So if you’re using a sex toy with a partner, it’s important to take steps to help prevent STDs.

Cock Ring

Wash your sex toys with mild soap and water after you use them, and before they touch another person’s genitals.

Putting condoms on sex toys can help keep them clean and prevent the spread of STDs. Just make sure you change condoms before the toy touches another person’s genitals.

If you’re using a sex toy in your anus, make sure you use lots of lube.

Butt Plugs

The anus doesn’t lubricate itself (get wet) the way a vagina does, so putting something in your butt without adding lube can be painful, uncomfortable, and even unsafe. And never put a sex toy that’s been in an anus into a vagina without washing it or changing the condom first. If germs from your anus get into your vagina, it can lead to vaginitis. It’s also important to make sure that any sex toy you use in your anus has a wide base or some other way to keep it from going all the way in. If a sex toy goes so far into your anus that you can’t reach it, you may need to see a nurse or doctor to get it out. (You can’t lose a sex toy in your vagina because your cervix blocks the end of it.)

Don’t use silicone lube with silicone sex toys, unless you put condoms on them.

Silicone lube can react with the solid silicone in your toy and damage it. Water-based lube is a safe bet to use with any sex toy (and any condom).

Stand-To-Pee Packer

Only allow non-porous toys inside you.

If you’re putting a sex toy inside your body (mouth, vagina, or anus), it’s best to use one made of a body-safe, non-porous material — like 100% silicone (not silicone blends), hard plastic, stainless steel, aluminum, and break-resistant glass. Toys made from non-porous materials don’t absorb germs and are easier to keep clean. Sex toys made from materials that may be porous, but you can always use a condom on your toy to help it stay clean and keep any possible germs on it out of your body.

It’s always best to use sex toys that are specifically made to be sex toys.

Partial Sleeve

This is especially if you’re putting them inside your body. DIY sex toys might not be safe, especially if they can break, have rough, sharp, or loose parts, or are made of materials that are unsanitary or can cause a reaction.

Where can I buy sex toys?

You can buy sex toys at specialty stores, usually called sex shops, sex stores, or adult stores. Some pharmacies, drug stores, or large retail stores sell a small variety of the more common sex toys, like vibrators.

Many sex stores and sex toy brands have websites where you can buy products online (they usually mail them in plain packaging for privacy).

Now, let’s hear from a knowledgeable connoisseur of various sex toys.

Sex Toys 101

Things to consider when buying a new toy.

By X xene

My new sex toys arrived in the mail a couple of weeks ago and as I tentatively opened the packages, I hoped I had made the right decision. For me, shopping money is very limited and it always pisses me off beyond belief when I order something that turns out to be a dud. Over the last few years, I have amassed quite a collection…one worthy of a full size toy chest if I were to store them all together. So when it comes to picking out toys, the wrong ones and the right ones, I definitely have the experience behind me to make wiser decisions than when I was first starting out.

So, because I am such a nice person, I thought I’d put together a list of things every girl, and guy, should consider when buying a new toy. I want to break it down into separate criteria, Price, Function, Size, & Product Maintenance.

Ben Wa Balls

Price:

You have to make sure you know what you’re looking for before you ever venture into a store, or onto a site. Now, I know you won’t have a particular product in mind, but ask yourself this question, “Am I looking for something to use everyday, every week, or just on special occasions?” The answer to that question that indicative of how much you should expect to spend.

If you just want something to ‘try out’ or use for one night of kink, don’t waste a lot of money on it. Chances are, you can find a cheap version of whatever it is somewhere online…but if it’s not going to be used that often, you really don’t have to worry too much about the quality of it. Cheap is fine. Most likely, the thrill will come from the psychological aspect of using the toy…not the physical sensations it gives.

If it’s a toy you plan to use weekly, like with a partner, I’d go for the upgrade…but not for the top of the line model. However, if you are not in a relationship, are in a long distance relationship, or are a chronic masturbator (which I could probably head up the support group on that one), go for quality. Otherwise, you’re just going to spend more money in the long run because you’re gonna break it, wear it out, or get tired of it. You get what you pay for and quality sex toys are rarely cheap. Although, I do luck up sometimes with a discount coupon or something manufactured by a company still trying to make a name for itself. If you are lucky enough to encounter any of these bargains, jump on them. Just because you’ve never heard of the company doesn’t mean the product won’t be quality. Actually, Doc Johnson, one of the most famous sex toy manufacturers puts out a lot of toys of questionable quality. Just check out what you’re getting first and you should be fine.

Function:

In order to get a product, whether cheap or expensive, that does what you want it to do for you, you have to ask yourself, “What gets me off?” The vague terms, clitoral stimulation, anal stimulation, g-spot stimulation will be terms you find plastered on nearly all toys. Taking their word for it will most likely end with you laying in your bed frustrated that it isn’t working and eventually getting tired and throwing whatever you’re playing with across the room only to fall back on your fingers or an old reliable toy.

If vibration does it for you, there is something you should take into consideration. Anything wrapped with a jelly sleeve (or any other soft covering) is going to be lacking in the vibration department. No matter how powerful the vibrator inside is, the vibrations just don’t travel through soft matter easily. If you want something heavy on vibration, you need a toy made of hard plastic or metal.

If you want something that stimulates the g-spot, you first have to know exactly where yours is located (and it differs in depth from woman to woman). You also need to know what kind of stimulation you need. Some women prefer a gentle rubbing type stimulation, whereas others prefer thumping or tapping. And for some, it is as simple as steady hard pressure. Know what feels good to your body before tackling the sex toy store.

Size:

Yeah, I said it. Size matters. Just probably not in the way most men seem to think it does. Granted there are some size queens out there, but most of us couldn’t accommodate more than 7 inches comfortably anyway…so what’s the point?

For some reason, the manufacturing companies have decided that if it doesn’t vibrate, thrust, gyrate or sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” that in order to sell it must be the size of a tanker truck. But they couldn’t be more wrong. Unless it’s a double header, there is no reason to have so many foot long dildos on the market.

And what’s up with all of them having bulbous heads the size of a softball? I don’t know about anyone else, but just because my body was designed to push out a child doesn’t mean I want to experience myself being stretched out like that just for the hell of it!

With the anal stuff…be careful. I have fallen prey to this more times than one by buying over the internet. If you just want a little backdoor teasing, make sure you get specific measurements of the plug/vibe before you get it. Most of these seem to be made for porn stars and gay men who are used to having something large up their ass. But, if it’s not something you do often, go for a smaller model. I promise, it will feel three times as big once inside you.

Cleaning and Storage:

I have to say that these are things I never really thought about for a long time. I guess I had been buying sex toys for about three or four years before I even thought to check out the cleaning/storage instructions on the box before purchase. But this can be a very time consuming and expensive part of the ordeal. Trust me, wait until you have to pay twelve dollars for a special cleaning solution for a toy that’s not that great…it finds the bottom of the box (no pun intended unfortunately) very quickly.

Hard plastic, metal and glass toys can all be cleaned with warm soapy water. They don’t really have to be wrapped up or stored in any special way. They’re easy…and, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, my preference.

Jelly coated toys fall into different categories depending on how porous they are. But some take special cleaners. Some require boiling water. And all of them should be wrapped in clear plastic wrap before storing. And every piece of lint or dust will stick to them. Think about where it’s going…do you really want dust inside you? Kinda gives new meaning to the “it’s been so long I’m growing cobwebs” saying, doesn’t it?

Then there are the cyberskin toys…just avoid these at all costs. I believe Hustler or Penthouse puts them out. But these things are a dandy. Sure, they feel as close to real as any toy I’ve ever used, but it’s not worth the pain in the ass of cleaning them. In order to clean them, you first use warm soapy water (and they only come clean if you jump out of bed and get them to the sink while the stuff you’re trying to wash off is still wet). Then, you have to set up a system of some sort where you suspend them to let them air-dry. But none of the cyber-skin material can be touching anything or it leaves weird permanent indentures and slick spots. After they’re dry, you have to sprinkle them with talcum powder to keep the 'skin’ from getting all sticky and nasty feeling. They’re a real pain in the ass and I would say just avoid them altogether.

By X xene for Literotica

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how-to-do-it-better · 11 days

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The Nutrition of Cum

And the wonder of the Clit

What really happens when you take someone’s sex juices in your mouth?

By BareAmy83 & LePenseur. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Today we’re talking about the thrill of ministering to your sex partner’s wonderful playground right between two legs. And today we’re discussing the oral delight to the mouth. This is the safest sex act involving penetration.

The first report comes from BareAmy83. She’s so delighted for all the health benefits she derives from her man’s semen. But it’s her story to tell, so here she is.

The Science of Cum

Why Blowjobs Are a LOT Sexier Than You Ever Imagined.

Author’s Note: I have pooled various internet research, studies, facts and figures in order to give you an interesting way of looking at something we all may take for granted in our sexual lives: oral sex and the male ejaculation. I am by no means a scientist or doctor, and none of what you read is intended as medicinal advice, it’s just something that I found rather neat and slightly kinky, and want to share with anyone who has a passing interest in what happens when you go down on a man and swallow his cum.

Enjoy and happy blowjob giving!

PROLOGUE

Oral sex is one of the safest acts of sex between two people. There is absolutely no risk of pregnancy when a couple engages in pleasing each other orally. Bringing your partner to a satisfying climax is enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver. And for those of us who are sexual ‘submissives’, we are often called upon to orally please our Sir or Madam, or even other people.

While giving oral sex to a female can be incredibly rewarding, the focus of this essay is to focus on the immediate outcome of successful oral sex given to a man, by stimulating his penis with your mouth to the point of ejaculation.

And more to the point, what *actually* happens when a male ejaculates into someone’s mouth?

Sure, there’s a satisfying orgasm for that person, but for the person giving the blowjob, it goes beyond the simple receiving of semen into the mouth.

And, depending on how you look at it, the outcome from receiving that load of semen is either disgusting or sexy.

Personally, I feel it to be insanely sexy!

To understand what happens when you receive a load of semen in your mouth, let’s first talk about the area receiving most of the “action”: your tongue.

THE TONGUE

The human tongue is actually the largest muscle in your body. It aids in chewing and digestion, speaking and breathing. Your tongue runs from your hyoid bone (in the middle of your neck) to the floor of your mouth.

Your tongue is mostly made of muscles, anchored to your mouth by a web of strong tissue, and covered in mucosa (a moist pink lining that covers certain organs and body cavities). It is sensitive and kept moist by saliva and is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. The upper part of the tongue is covered by four different types of taste buds housed in lingual papillae:

Filiform: taking up the front 2/3rds of your tongue, they do not contain taste buds.

Fungiform: mushroom-like in appearance, they are on the sides and tip of your tongue, and consist of about 1,600 taste buds

Circumallate: small bumps on the back of the tongue, containing about 250 taste buds.

Foliate: rough golds of tissue, containing several hundred taste buds.

Taste buds are clusters of nerve cells that send sensory messages to your brain for five different tastes: sweet, salty, bitter, sour and savory. Although people think that different areas of the tongue taste different things, that is not true. All taste buds can detect the five tastes, but some are more sensitive towards certain tastes.

In total, the human tongue has from 2,000 to 8,000 taste buds. Each bud has 50 to 100 taste gustatory hairs, or receptors. These receptors pick up different chemicals and send a signal the brain that it has a particular nutrient in it that is either good or bad for the body.

A LITTLE ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

When a male ejaculates into the mouth cavity, a whitish fluid called semen is disgorged from the penis. Semen (also known as “ejaculate” or “cum” or even the slang term “seed”) consists of liquids from the prostate, seminal vesicles and bulbourethral glands, and contains sperm (male reproductive cells), sugars, proteins, and even some vitamins and minerals.

A typical ejaculation will have 15 million to 200 million sperm per milliliter.

Semen is a delivery method, and once delivered, it’s the sperm’s job to get to work, regardless of where it is placed. In a warm, wet environment, the sperm will thrive, sometimes up to five days. In a very cold area, or even in hot water, sperm will die quickly.

This is where things get interesting.

GETTING To WORK

Each sperm has one job: find a female egg and fertilize it for purposes of reproduction. When millions of sperm are released, they work their way through the area, testing every possible crevice to achieve their goal.

In the mouth, that means that a majority of sperm and going to be diving into the taste pores of the tongue and interacting with the taste receptor cell and basal cell. The sperm does not know that the taste cell is not an egg, and will try very hard to penetrate the taste bud. The rapid movement of the sperm cell and seminal “cocktail” fluid will trigger a taste response that cannot be explained by “normal” flavors. Nearly every taste bud will have a sperm try to enter it.

The longer the seminal fluid and sperm stay on the tongue, the more intense the stimuli from the taste buds will be.

Because seminal fluid contains sugars, minerals and other flavors, the brain will presume that the fluid is present to help aid the body. Sugar signals the presence of carbohydrates, which is an energy source. Salt is essential for maintaining the body’s water balance and blood circulation. Other tastes, such as glutamate and amino acids reflect food’s protein content.

The brain, feeling these items are necessary, will pump extra saliva into the mouth. Saliva will help to prolong the sperm’s lifespan.

Saliva will also help break down the clumps of sperm into a more lubricated liquid that increases sperm life and coats deep within the cell walls of the mouth. Thus, sperm will explore beyond the tongue, into the walls, roof, and jaw of the mouth, as well as down the throat, seeking that ever-elusive (and, sadly, not-at-all-present) egg for fertilization.

Diving back that deep into the mouth and throat will trigger an active swallow response. Even after the sperm have been consumed, they are still actively seeking any openings they can find to penetrate. Cheek and tongue cells will be penetrated by the sperm. The introduction of water (aka “Trying to get the taste out of your mouth”) will not remove the penetrated sperm. Once it’s embedded, it’s staying embedded.

In around 15 minutes, the immune system will receive signals that cells are damaged and that a foreign substance (the sperm) is present, and it will being to try to repair and remove the offenders. This will cause inflammation in the area. The inflammation swells around the cells, pores and cavities that the sperm has embedded itself within.

The immune system can only rid itself of the sperm through the blood stream, so it pulls the sperm into the body and circulates it.

Within 30 minutes, millions of sperm are in nearly every organ of the body, including the brain.

Psychological Effects

The sperm can attach to active sites of proteins, causing neurotransmitters to be released. With a higher volume of sperm consumption, this can result in an emotionally induced pleasure, or “high”. Some refer to it by a much more base, slang term: “Cum Drunk”. Because it creates this high, the brain remembers it and will begin to associate sperm consumption with a pleasurable feeling, similar to nicotine.

Although it’s certainly not been proven, it’s been postulated that some nymphomaniacs or even sex workers and porn stars can develop a craving, or even addiction, to sperm consumption over time. It’s also been theorized that the high created by sperm consumption can be a defense mechanism against depression in some people.

Consumption of sperm has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. It also can increase sex drive, especially within women, in large doses.

Typically, within 40 minutes, the sperm that remains in the mouth denatures and dies. Saliva breaks it down further and a specific scent will remain, typified by a bleach and ocean scent. The coating in the mouth and throat will begin to dissolve and go away.

Any dry, dead sperm outside the mouth with become stiff due to the organic polymer within seminal fluid, tightening the skin. Thick seminal fluid that drives will begin to flake and peel.

Any semen consumed by the body will think it is food and use it for cell regeneration.

The body will use it to make new cells.

The sperm literally becomes a part of you.

By BareAmy83 for Literotica.

Rapturous Clitoris

Clitoris, why are you yet so fair?

By LePenseur

I have a confession to make: I am entranced by the clitoris.

Ever since I learned about it, I wanted to see one for real. I wanted to watch it swell into a blushing pearl, and tentatively wrap my tongue around it and send a girl through the roof. I did eventually tongue a girl’s clitoris, and it was every bit as delightful as I had hoped. She didn’t go through the roof, sadly.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Every lover I have, I long to see her clitoris. Because, in my mind, the clitoris is the single sexiest part of the female body. It’s almost a fixation. I love to stare at a clitoris, stroke a clitoris, tongue a clitoris, run the velvety underside of my penis on a clitoris. When I watch an adult movie, I look for clitorises. And when I read erotic literature, there had better be lots of gratuitous clitoris play, or I’ll be tempted to move on.

I always pronounce it “KLIT-oh-riss.” I’m aware of an alternate pronunciation, “klit-ORE-iss”, but I don’t like it as much. And it’s very trendy and common to talk about a “clit”, but that to me seems to abrupt. It’s a beautiful organ and deserves a beautiful name. No need to cut it short. In my mind, saying the full “clitoris” means you’re talking about a thoroughly fascinating and sexy part of the body for longer, and therefore I say clitoris and not clit. Twice as many letters, twice as sexy.

Now, there are other parts down there too. There’s the vagina, which is nice and very sexy when wet, but I feel it’s overrated. The inner labia are wonderful too, with so many shapes and sizes and colors to fantasize about. I like the way the skin folds and stretches, and I love the rich pink everything turns when a woman is aroused. And when you top it all off with the swollen purple button of an engorged clitoris? Breathtaking.

I know, I know, there are other parts of a woman too. But as of the time of this writing, I am in my early twenties and fairly sexually inexperienced. I can’t help it. The center of womanhood, especially the clitoris, is one of the most arrestingly beautiful things on this earth. I can’t help but admire it, worship it even. Nothing turns me on more than seeing a clitoris, straining past its hood, taut with desire.

Don’t take this to mean that bigger is always better. A clitoris is at its best when it looks at home in its gorgeous surroundings. Artificially enlarging it makes it look out of place and uncomfortable. In my opinion, a clitoris that relies on pumps or steroids is trying way too hard. No clitoris is naturally unattractive, but it’s easy to make a clitoris unnaturally unattractive. There’s no size contest here.

Similarly, while I drool over the clitoris to no end, I don’t want one of my own. I quite like my penis, we’ve been very good to one another. Plus, it’s always more fun to play with somebody else’s body parts. Drawing my finger or tongue along a wet clitoris’s sheer surface and hearing a woman moan is heavenly. It wouldn’t be the same if it were my own.

So what makes a clitoris attractive? I wish I could answer this question better, because this answer sounds downright silly. But the fact of the matter is, when presented with a clitoris, I always think it’s the most beautiful clitoris I’ve seen yet. Memories can’t bring back the raw lust and desire I feel when I’m looking at an erect clitoris just inches from my face, and I don’t even try. I will stare at your clitoris, maybe take a few deep breaths. My eyes will shine. I will tell you it’s absolutely the prettiest clitoris I’ve ever seen. And I’ll mean it.

Sometimes I wonder what people would think if they knew about this obsession. Guys probably wouldn’t be too impressed, mostly. I don’t know what most girls would think, though I can’t imagine they’d mind very much. It’s too bad there’s only so much you can say in public. “Hey there. I’m single, I’m tall and I’m thin, I’m acceptably good-looking, I speak fluent French, I’m studying to be a teacher, I’m a lot more thoughtful than most guys, and I get turned on by licking a clitoris for forty-five minutes straight. If we wind up in bed together, would you mind if I tried for even longer?”

An eager, straining clitoris. It makes me smile, just thinking about it. I love everything about the clitoris.

I love how a clitoris swells when aroused. I love the way a clitoris turns a dusky lavender, or maybe a bright ruby red, and I love seeing its shape nestled among wet folds. I love to watch a clitoris shyly peek its head out of the hood, and I love to see a clitoris already proudly presented, haughty and demanding attention. I love to lick along the labia and roll a woman’s nipples and watch her clitoris pulse urgently.

I love to spread a woman’s cum on her labia and admire how it glistens. I love massaging that cum into her engorged clitoris, then slowly licking it off with the tip of my tongue. I like to eat a woman out until we’ve lost track of both time and orgasms, then pull back and see how her clitoris cries out for more attention, shining and throbbing with desire. I love to slowly circle my thumb over a hard clitoris and feel its firm texture among hot, soaked folds. I love to sink my penis into a woman, pumping my hard, veined flesh in and out and rubbing my thumb on her clitoris at the same time.

I love to feel a pulsing clitoris in my mouth. I love to run every taste bud along the smooth, eager surface. I love to release it, then trap it again. I love to use my tongue and dance with a clitoris; sometimes a soft, slow waltz, and other times a swift, firm ballet or a frantic, eager grind. I like to gracefully pirouette around a clitoris, lift it without warning, then catch it again in my tongue’s warm, wet embrace.

The clitoris enthralls and enchants me. The clitoris delights me.

The clitoris is a work of art.

By LePenseur for Literotica

from How-To Sex Podcast

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how-to-do-it-better · 12 days

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Guidance For 'Hot Wives'

Ms. Evangelina Vargas advises wives who want to be “hot.”

By vargas 1 1 1. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

This topic comes up more often than our society is comfortable with. To illustrate the matter, imagine the scenario of a couple of 50 year old English gentlemen down at the corner pub; when one of them says; “Nigel, I don’t know how to say this, but I have it on reliable certitude that your wife has been shagging a younger bloke from church.” To which Nigel responds with a relaxed breath; “Well, at least someone is shagging her.”

Some men just lack the libido of their spouse, especially decades after the peak of a man’s virility of the early twenties.

More than a few marriages dissolve in a painful betrayal and severe disruption of a cohesive home. It’s even more traumatic when kids lose a 2-parent cohesion, because mom and dad couldn’t work out a satisfying sexual arrangement. We’re presenting the expert advice of well-known ‘hot wife,’ Evangelina Vargas, to weigh in on the issue, for those of you who relate to the conundrum.

Guidelines for Happily Married Hot Wives

By Evangelina Vargas, with contributions from Dawn MWF 4 Blk

Okay, you have heard about being a “hot wife.” It sounds sexy but a little scary, too. You have lots of questions and uncertainties and many women have written my brother, Homer Vargas, for advice. Well, he has asked me to reply because this is something better handled between us girls. With two grown daughters, one kid in kindergarten, one in nursery school, and a bun in the oven, I’ve “been there, done that.”

Why?

Probably your first question is “Why should I become a ‘hot wife?’” There are many reasons but the most important one is, love. You have a wonderful husband whom you love more than anything in the world. You want to please him, to make him happy. You think that he might like a hot wife, but maybe you are not sure. What if he thinks you are a slut? Put that out of your mind, sweetie. Take it from me; if your husband is a heterosexual male, he wants a hot wife. If he is not heterosexual (or is a little underpowered sexually), there may be other reasons for you to become a hot wife, but I will not deal with those here. Men want hot wives; therefore you want to become the woman he wants.

Besides wanting to please your man, it’s also a matter of elementary justice. Your husband deserves a hot wife. He has made a commitment to you. He loves you above all other women. He has promised to be faithful to you, giving up pussy from all those other little hotties he was fucking before he met you. You owe him at least the sexual satisfaction he could be getting from those other women if he were still “on the loose.”

In addition, being a hot wife should be a matter of personal fulfillment. You are a woman and you want to be the best, the sexiest, the most feminine woman possible. Becoming a hot wife; an ever hotter hot wife; will give meaning and purpose to your life, releasing you from self-centeredness and ennui.

Then, too, being a hot wife is a very healthy lifestyle. To become and remain a hot wife, you will have to exercise daily, watch what you eat, maintain your body in top form. Dieting and physical fitness will not seem like a chore when you keep in mind that you are honing your body for your adored husband’s sexual gratification. You are not just a “sex object”; and proud of being a damn good one, you are a sex object d'art!

Moreover, being a hot wife is to your material advantage. You want the good things of life: a nice house, fancy clothes, travel, fine food. So how does being a hot wife get you these things? Simple, honey. To acquire the material possessions you want, you need a financially successful husband. And nothing contributes to a man’s success more than having a hot wife.

For one thing, a hot wife at home does wonders for a man’s self-confidence. After a night with you, he walks into that boardroom or law office or shop floor and looks around knowing that no other man in that room has a wife as hot as his! No one else, only a few hours ago, had a woman riding his cock, screaming his name in ecstasy as she orgasmed over and over, begging him to fuck her longer, harder. A man with a couple of good early-morning fucks like that under his belt can kick ass and get other men to do things his way.

But in addition to his self-confidence, the reputation of having a hot wife will give your husband leg up in any encounter with other men. Remember, men are competitive, always measuring themselves against other men. When his rivals and co-workers know your husband has a hot wife, it gives him prestige and allows him to get his way. He’ll be the one chosen for the highest bonus, the promotion, the challenging assignment that leads to advancement. And of every dollar he earns, 75% to 80% will be spent on YOU, his loving hot wife. (Of course if you are a hot high income professional that will further boost your husband’s career.)

There is another reason as well that must be mentioned, girls, even though it’s not too pleasant. You need to be a hot wife in self-defense. Knowledge that your man is married immediately makes him a much more attractive target for other women. For some women, knowing a man is able to make a commitment causes their claws to grow. Tired of boyfriends whom they have screwed for months or years only to see them slip from their clutches; these women may figure that here is a man who has proven catchable.

For others, it’s just the opposite. They know you have your guy well tied down and he’s not likely to get serious when all a girl wants is sex. And the way you look and act indicates that at least one other woman (you) has found him highly satisfactory in the sex department. Yummy!

Still other women seek out married men because they know that married men are likely to be sexually unsatisfied. Sad to say, most women (you are going to be a glorious exception) cut back on the frequency and nastiness of sex once they have “landed” a guy, leaving the poor schmuck flopping around in frustration like a fish out of water.

Finally, and this is paradoxical, the very success that your husband achieves thanks to your being his hot wife, makes him a more desirable prey. There are hundreds of sexy, slutty women out there wanting to take your husband from you and you have to be sexier and sluttier than they are, to keep him!

How?

Now that you understand the reasons to become a hot wife, the important question is, “how.” First, and this is almost too elementary for me to have to mention but many women miss this point: SEX. Yes! You will want to make love, have sex, fuck, screw, boink, shag, get it on, “do it” with your husband every time he can get it hard. Any woman can out-fuck any number of men; so there is no reason for your husband ever to be horny if your cunt is around. The key to a happy, successful, faithful husband is enough sex to keep his eyes crossed.

Almost more important than the frequency and nastiness (we’ll get to that later) of sex is to make sure he understands that you want sex it because HE is a macho sexy Neanderthal stud. You are not doing him a favor (although you are!). These are not just frequent mercy fucks. You are fucking him because he turns you on. He makes you hot. He makes you want sex. He makes you NEED sex! With such a man, you are a sex slave!

Now let’s talk about what kind of sex to have with your husband starting with what kind not to have. It will NOT be once a week, in the bedroom, missionary position, lights out, “think of England” while he empties his balls in you. No! You are so burning with lust for your husband that you will want him to take you on the shag rug in the living room, on the dining table, bending over in the kitchen, draped over the back of the sofa in the family room, in the shower. You have a totally irresistible desire to let him eat you and an almost irresistible desire to give him blowjobs (you swallow greedily), tempered only by the thought that each load of cum in your mouth is one less in your needy cunt. You are multi-orgasmic, or will fake it until you train yourself to become so. You are a moaner and a groaner and a squealer and a screamer. You claw his back in ecstasy. You like it doggie style, riding his cock, legs bent behind you head or heels (6" stilettos) in the air. He can call you every filthy name in the book if it gets you a harder cock and a more cum pumped into your needy cunt. You put every porn movie he’s ever seen to shame.

Because you want to fuck your husband so desperately, all the time, you are constantly looking for ways to excite him, to entice him, to make him want to fuck you. This means taking the initiative, seducing him! You will want to have a collection of sexy nightwear and scandalous casual wear for around the house that signal your constant horniness. Seldom is total nudity best. Always keep on a necklace, bracelets, and your heels during sex. Cleanliness is good and perfume is great, but never wash off or cover up the womanly scent of an aroused cunt. Be proud of how wet he makes you and put up with the mess.

Of course you do not stop being a hot wife when your hubby is off making money for you to spend. A true hot wife would not be able to go through a long day without her man if she did not have toys to keep her sane. Dildos and vibrators will keep you simmering and ready for his return. Masturbation is also important to help you become or remain multi-orgasmic. And of course he likes to know that while he is away, you are missing him so badly you need a large cylindrical object up your twat.

As you get into being a hot wife, seeing how proud and happy your husband is, you will gain self-confidence about displaying your body. You may decide to start taking out the trash early in the morning wearing only a flimsy nightie. You may want to shop for groceries in a short shift that lets anyone see you have nothing on beneath it but your stockings and heels. If you work, you will occasionally “forget” to wear bra and panties to the office.

Now the next point is not for everyone and not absolutely necessary to be a hot wife, but many hot wives are strongly bi-sexual. Girl-girl sex is a great way to pass the long horny hours when hubby is away but it’s also a great way to find women to bring to his bed for a threesome. (Husbands love threesomes with two women.) I have found nothing turns my husband on faster than seeing another little honey and me with our tongues buried in each other’s cunts. And later I let him show me how grateful he is.

Your looks

Hair is also important. You want a hairstyle that is attractive to your husband, not something that is convenient or easy to manage. Generally men like longer, curly or wavy hair. Variety is nice. If you are brunet, go blonde. If you are blond, try red or darker, perhaps darker with highlights. You have to find what works for you, but the important thing, is you are doing this for him. Don’t ask him how he likes your new style; ask him if it makes you look sexier. When he says yes, make him prove it.

Finally a word on body type. Any “body” can be hot as long as you are neither anorexic nor seriously obese. In general men like rounder and fuller women than other women do. Before you decided to become a hot wife, you were probably keeping your weight down because of the expectations of other women, so it’s likely you will can to put on a few pounds. On the other hand taking off a few pounds can say, “I want to be sexy for you.”

So far we have discussed what you need to do in private. Being a hot wife, however, is as much or more about how you behave in public as it is about what you do when you are alone with your husband (or with him and one or two other women). If there is one golden rule of hot wife public behavior it is: DRESS THE PART. When you go out, remember you are NOT dressing for yourself. You are no longer dressing for other women as most women are prone to do. You are not even dressing just for your husband. You are dressing to show off for and tease your husband’s friends, co-workers and rivals. You are dressing to attract and please other men.

Dressing to please and attract other men takes more time and work but take it from me, it will pay off tremendously in amount of attention you receive and how it affects your own “hot wife attitude.” You should always keep in mind what the men you are trying to attract will probably like but in general follow this simple rule when choosing what to wear: "Think dress first, skirt second, and pants only as a last resort.” This will be a radical change for many women but it’s important to remember that most men prefer their women in dresses as opposed to pants. Short dresses and skirts are sexier to most men and they provide easier access in erotic situations. Any skirt or dress that’s more than barely hiding your cookies should have a slit to show more flesh. Even a long gown can be sexy if slit nearly to the waist. You never know when you will have the opportunity to attract that certain man and you need to be dressed for the opportunity when it comes. The good news is that the hot wife lifestyle will probably make you feel like dressing up more and the more you wear dresses and skirts, the more you will find yourself wanting to.

Now I can already hear the objections. “Oh, Evangelina, I could never wear clothes like that. I’m too [fill in the blank] short-tall-round-thin-dark-light.” Nonsense. The point is not to have women (skinny supermodels) make clothes look sexy; it’s to have clothes make women (of all sizes and shapes) look sexy. Believe me, girlfriend, any woman looks good in a miniskirt and a top that shows the rounded top of your boobs.

Wardrobe

What you wear under your dress or skirt is as important as the outfit itself. All men love women in sexy lingerie. The colors and styles you may want wear will vary but in general, here are some suggestions and rules to follow:

1: Always wear matching or at least coordinated lingerie.

2: Bras & blouses should maximize your bust size and display as much cleavage as possible.

3. Choose thongs or French cut panties (crotch-less) are best. Avoid white cotton unless you are going for the “Catholic Schoolgirl” look. If you are with men who know you, no panties is the best option.

4. Always wear hosiery. High tops and thigh highs are great for casual wear but stocking held up by corsets or garter belt are best for formal occasion. No pantyhose. If you are like me, you probably have worn pantyhose your whole life, but they are death to your image as a hot wife. It is practically impossible get fucked on short notice if you are wearing pantyhose. Men understand this and detest them. Pantyhose say “I’m off limits”; not the message you want to send. Besides, it’s pretty difficult even to finger yourself or let a man finger you, in the damned things. End of sermon. Stockings, on the other hand, will make you feel far sexier and more feminine and they provide your husband easier access as well as a sexier sight. Once you get used to wearing them, you will probably have no trouble giving up pantyhose. Seamed stockings are the ultimate for attracting men. You will always get a lot of attention in clubs if you wear them and if you dare to wear them in public in the daytime, men will drool.

The only shoes you should ever wear in public are high heels. This will take some getting used to as well, but men love them. Three-four inches are fine for casual entertaining, but try for four-five inches for nights out. High heel, spaghetti strap, open toe sandals are the ultimate “fuck me” shoes.

Jewelry is a must! It should be flashy, designed to attract the attention you deserve. Earrings should be large, loopy or dangling. Necklaces should draw wandering eyes to your cleavage. Always wear your wedding ring. Men love to think the might be getting a shot at another man’s wife! Anklets and toe rings are a good sign that you are a willing hot wife looking to attract men. Bracelet’s and anklets show you are a happy member of your husband’s one-woman harem. A pierced navel below your tank top makes a sexy statement: “I’ll do anything to keep my husband fucking me.” Long highly polished nails in dark, daring colors help draw attention to you. And this goes for toes in those high-heel sandals.

13 ‘Fuck Me’ Signals

Being a hot wife is more than just looks, however; it’s also how you act.

1: In a situation where you are trying to catch a man’s eye; make sure to make plenty of eye contact with him and smile.

2: Show lots of leg. Cross and uncross your legs and bounce the top leg on the lower one, perhaps pointing the toe of your shoe. If you find that you are very attracted to him, eventually let the skirt ride high enough so that he can see that you are wearing stockings and garters. In clubs a woman wearing stockings and garters is taken as a sign that she is there to get fucked. And of course you are, by your husband that night, but no one else knows that.

3: Apply and reapply lipstick. Men want to see signs that you can’t wait to suck a cock and lipstick is a great way to send that signal.

4: Never miss the opportunity to drop something and bend over, from the waist, never bend your knees. (That’s what those expensive sessions in the gym are for.)

5: When dancing (probably the closest you can get to having sex in public), move your husband’s hands to your ass and press close to him during slow dances. If you can feel his cock, he can feel your tits. Don’t be shy about letting everyone see you come on his finger. With other guys, let them handle the merchandise knowing just exactly what they can’t have. Fast dances give you the opportunity to whirl and twirl and flash your pretty panties or your prettier cunt if you’re not wearing any.

6: If a man puts his hand up your dress; whisper in his ear and ask if him if he would like you to remove your panties.

7: If he compliments your dress; tell him you wore it hoping to meet a man like him.

8: Never miss an opportunity to tell him how sexy he is and how sexy and feminine he makes you feel.

9: However much you flirt with other guys, hang on your husband. Rub up against him. Squeeze his arm. Nibble his ear. Gaze into his eyes adoringly. Demonstrate to onlookers how eager you are for him to fuck you.

10: Do not hesitate to sneak off with your husband to do the dirty during a public event. Sex in public will probably not help his career, but for a man to be seen being dragged away by a hot wife who can’t endure another minute without his cock in her, is a real plus.

11: When you depart early from a social event, make sure everyone knows it’s because you are horny and need your husband to take you home and fuck your little brains out before you rape one of the guests.

12: If your husband travels, meet him at the airport dressed to kill: heels, see-through blouse, cunni-skirt, the works. When you see him, fling yourself into his arms and start a stand-up make out session that will shame other wives and drive other husbands mad with jealousy. Make sure the other passengers know what you and he are going to be doing as soon as you get home (if not in the taxi). Leave the men shaking their heads thinking, “What the Hell does he put in her water?”

13: Take your husband shopping for sexy clothes and underwear; modeling them is lots of fun. Husband love to say, “No” to wives who ask them, “Does this show off my titties too much?” “Do you think this skirt is too short?”

Hot & Pregnant

All of the above are fundamental to being a hot wife, but there is one thing that tops it all. Pregnancy! A hot wife wants to make babies for her husband. His genes deserve to have as many copies poured into the gene pool as possible and hey, as a hottie, yours do too. If knowing he has a hot wife at home is good for a guy’s ego (and earning potential) how much more is knowing he got his hot wife pregnant! By the same token, if other men are envious knowing your husband is fucking the shit out of his little hottie, they’ll become comatose when they find out you let him knock you up. And all those sexy things you wear: skirts, heels, stockings; and the sexy things you do: dancing, teasing, flashing; are twice as exciting when done by a woman with a bulging tummy.

There are ways to flaunt it in, however. Start wearing maternity clothes; outrageously sexy, revealing maternity clothes, as soon as the rabbit dies. There is nothing sexier than a pregnant woman and you are letting everybody see it. Hint to your friends that you had intended to wait longer before getting pregnant, but your sexy husband got you so wound up one night you had an “accident.” Alternatively, you might let them think this was your surprise gift to him. Always say “this baby” or refer to it by number, implying that this is just the most recent offspring of many; your husband may be planning to keep you in maternity clothes until you are 60. Hold, pat, and rub your belly at every opportunity. Show off in public with his hands proudly on his wife’s baby-filled tummy. Cultivate a dopey, fucked-out-of-it expression. Tell the wives of your husband’s friends how your libido has just gone through the roof. It will get back to their men who will want to shoot themselves in frustration. None will be able to look your husband in the eye.

Aged To Perfection

A final word on age. You are never too old to become a hot wife. It’s even more important, in fact, if you have taken a younger man as your husband. Although your dresses may not be quite as short now as when you were in Jr. High fucking the football squad, a hot woman of thirty five or forty or fifty is hotter than any twenty year old in full slutwear. And this goes in spades when you are pregnant. Imagine your gray-at-the-temples husband in the middle of a multimillion dollar negotiation when he says, “Can we roll this up pretty soon, TJ? My wife’s about to pop with our seventh kid and I need to get home to give her a good fuck!”

Wishing you every happiness as a hot wife,

Evangelina By vargas 1 1 1 for Literotica

from How-To Sex Podcast

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how-to-do-it-better · 13 days

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Squirting: The Female Ejaculation

How you can get your woman to squirt.

By Alice_Roissy & dirtyjoe69. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Today we’re discussing the manifestation of female ejaculation, or what’s commonly called ‘squirting.’

Many a woman has been subjected to shame & humiliation by an ignorant lover who assumes that the chick just pissed in bed, in the middle of lovemaking. The truth is, He caused it more than she did. And he should actually be proud of his superior coupling skills. Bless his darling heart and stupid head! Here’s an essay

Please Release Me, Let Me Flow.

Men’s Guide To Female Ejaculation. Introduction and tips

By dirtyjoe69

Do you seek some physical confirmation that your bedroom skills are pushing your lady to the peak of desire? Are you delivering the zenith of BIG ‘O’s? When the blushed chest and moaning and screaming haven’t sufficed as proof, start exercising those arms, clip your nails and get your waders out…things are about to get real messy!

Men take ejaculation for granted. It’s like a 'liquid-trophy’ of man-hood, and the source of your future legacies and heirs. But cast your mind back to that very first time you managed to squeeze some 'Gentleman’s Gel’ from the end of your 'young chap’, I guarantee you might have been writhing in ecstasy, but you were also confused and maybe even a little ashamed. My boyfriend will admit to believing he’d somehow 'broken it’ when he finally popped his cork in his teen years. With females the climax has always been much harder to tell. After all, the female orgasm never had such a visible finale, or so you’ve been led to believe.

A skill possessed by most females but in reality admitted and permitted by few, female ejaculation is one of those few remaining taboos and 'un-tapped’ delights of the 21st century. You all know that your girl can’t help but spill the beans on your 'sexploits’ to her close circle of friends. She’ll be all too eager to divulge your size, expertise and finishing techniques, but never be fooled into thinking she’s dishing the dirt on herself. It’s strange but there are still some subjects considered too taboo to share over a bottle of wine, and depositing her 'load’ seems to be up there with rimming and fisting. In truth you are more likely to hear a guy discuss the pleasures of female ejaculation than you ever would a woman

History dating back as far back as the 2nd Century has detailed the ability of females to ejaculate during sex. Yet often when seeking medical counsel from doctors, gynecologists, and psychiatrists, these anxious ladies were invariably told they were incontinent and needed either surgery or psychotherapy. The belief and humiliation of it being linked to incontinence stripped any sexual satisfaction, often leaving the female ashamed. After all what girl wants to earn herself the reputation of an un-intentional 'bed wetter’? Even today’s UK Censors have been known to emit footage of females ejaculating from porn films, wrongly believing it to be urine and therefore fetish orientated. In fact what these ladies are actually achieving is the absolute pinnacle of female sexual pleasure. An ejaculatory orgasm, or 'squirting’ as now commonly referred, which renders them well and truly spent!

Most of us ladies who have experienced an ejaculation initially believed we’ve suffered from a leaky bladder. Instead of enjoying the sensation we were mortified to believe we had 'golden-showered’ our partner and indeed, in many cases so did you men. Lots of females, under thorough interrogation or clever coaxing will admit to having had an experience where they believed they’d 'leaked’ during sex. The feeling of ejaculating is not dissimilar to peeing, a shower of warm wet liquid and a feeling of intense release.

Often it’s the guy’s reaction to ejaculation that will determine any future releases. If he’s had previous experience, or at least understands what has actually just happened, things will be significantly less embarrassing for both parties. In truth, he has skillfully hit the lucky girls G-spot and her eternal font of pleasure. If however he jumps to his feet shouting 'Fucking-Hell! You’ve pissed yourself’, the chances are your girl will dry up like the Serengeti…as will your sex life.

It has taken almost 1,800 years for the subject, often considered an urban myth, to finally be an acceptable and willing bed partner. When it first started happening to me I was so paranoid I found myself looking at adult nappies in Boots Chemist surgical dressings department. You may snigger but I assure you, to a girl only in her twenties if you believe you’ve started to pee yourself during sex, it’s like the end of the world. No amount of Bulgari perfume is going hide the stench of piss sodden sheets.

For our part, the fairer sex has enjoyed and indulged the sexual revolution. We found our clitoris, and in increasing numbers so have men. We’ve stocked up on toys, some of us have even engaged in threesomes, swinging and discovered the delights of Fetishes. In a relatively short time women have been sexually liberated, and for the first time in history we can finally take the lead in the bedroom and dungeon. In 1981 when Newsweek published its editorial piece 'Just How the Sexes Differ’, it claimed the major difference was 'that men ejaculate, but women do not’. Oh! How naive they were. The actual difference between men and woman is that we can 'shoot’ more, and further than you. Soon teenage girls everywhere could be enjoying their own version of the 'Soggy Biscuit’ game.

Once released, the actual ejaculation itself can be a mind-blowing experience for both partners. Not only does the female get 'THE’ most intense orgasm, but also the lucky partner gets some serious dousing of love-juice. The amount of fluid 'squirted’ can vary considerably in volume. Most Doctors have settled between the 5ml and 100ml volume, but personal experience and others can testify to soaking a bath towel over the course of an evening. The amount varies as much as force of expulsion. My partner in particular will often receive a warm soaking of his balls. But on occasion, particularly during harder 'doggy style’ penetration I’ve managed to drench not only him, but also the soles of my feet and beyond. Something he’s definitely partial to.

In reality many men are fascinated with this so-called 'phenomenon’ adding to the growing 'ejaculating super-female’ urban myth. Legend has it that when Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee started dating a girl named 'Bullwinkle’ it wasn’t her looks he was interested in, but her ability to 'spray her cum across the room’. That may also lead some credence to Pamela Andersons’ claim that guys’ can’t get enough of her 'trick pelvis’.

Equaling the tally for all those 'pearl necklaces’ has its satisfaction, especially ejaculating during oral and I’m becoming very adept at delivering my own version, a 'sparkling-choker’. But a price does have to be paid for all this pleasure. First of all it can present a new slant on the question of 'who sleeps on the wet patch?’ Especially when we are not talking about just a loving’ spoonful, but up to half a pint and bed linen that look like they should be displayed in the Tate Modern. Forget Tracy Emmin’s 'un-made bed’. Check out my sheets, I could give Jackson Pollock a run for his money!

There are a few ground rules to undertaking your quest. Do not set out believing there really is such a thing as the 'ejaculating super-female’, even if I personally would wear the t-shirt with pride. Most women can ejaculate but many don’t. In the same way that all women can orgasm even though some don’t, be it through physical or mental blockage, or just plain in-experience. When you guys first engaged in a 'five knuckle shuffle’ you got a result. It may have taken a while before you managed to produce your 'baby gravy’, but you still got hard and it captured your affections. The climax has always been much more hidden and complex in females, and as such, a source of infinite frustration in men. Giving rise to that ever popular question 'How was it for you?’ You seem to need to ask us!

There are indeed many complexes in achieving female ejaculation but it’s best to start with compatible partners. Both parties have to be sexually adventurous as some women claim that their partners will literally 'wilt when showered’. Other females, especially if you’ve just 'popped their cherry 'ade’, will still dive for the bathroom absolutely mortified and convinced they have committed an indiscretion. If the idea of water-sports has intrigued you in part but you’re not too keen on urine, female ejaculation could be your 'holy grail’.

Now, whoever said that condoms were passion killers has never tried a mattress protector, or jumping up halfway through a really good session to find a towel. Forget that decaying crusty sock you keep under the bed, which is covered in dead cultivations of 'man-milk’. If your girlfriend can squirt you will seriously need to upgrade. At one stage I even started obsessing about staining the mattress. This doesn’t happen but it does raise yet another issue of 'protection’.

Like in Yoga where one is taught to almost reverse ones breathing pattern, in sex the female needs to control another inbuilt reflex. The building of the 'ejaculation’ does feel very much like a desire to pee and as soon as the urethra starts to tingle, second nature kicks in. When squeezed The Pubococcygeus Muscle (try get your tongue around that!), prevents the bladder leaking. It is crucial for your girlfriend to oppose this contraction and actually bear down against it. This is not an easy concept to get your head around because if you bear against the muscle that prevents you peeing, surely that means you do. Not in this instance it seems. Contraction of the muscle in this instance actually stops an orgasm from building; pretty much the same way as squeezing the base of the penis and thinking momentarily of Anne Widdecombe does in men. It does not prevent further ejaculation, just postpones it. This is the first barrier you need to deal with. Don’t be under any illusions that your girlfriend will fill your mouth with milk & honey on command. If only life were that simple. Remember the hunt for the clitoris? Well if that equaled gaining an 'A’ level qualification, getting your girlfriend to 'squirt’ for the very first time is like obtaining a PhD.

The ejaculation itself does come through the urethra, the same tube used for urination. It is located just outside the vaginal opening. If you spread your ladies inner labia and trace your finger from just inside her pussy, up towards the clitoris, after about half an inch you can find a tiny hole. Almost a needle in a haystack, especially if your lady is unshaven. This is where the ejaculation fluid exits, but not where it originates. That’s the job of the 'Skene Gland’. The equivalent to a male prostate, which produces seminal fluid in males and it’s hidden between the G-spot and the clitoris. Although some insignificant traces of urine are evident, the composition is not that dissimilar to the fluid produced by the male prostate to keep all those hungry little 'baby-makers’ alive during male ejaculation.

The fluid can appear like either watered down milk or can be clear in composition. It in no way offers any contraception as the fluid is expelled outside the vagina. Therefore the only conceivable purpose of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense, in many cases far surpassing any previous best. Ejaculation can take place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, thus providing a magical 'third’ orgasm. If you are lost on the difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, you might want to ask your girlfriend; although if you really don’t know the difference, you probably won’t have a girlfriend to ask.

An ejaculation results from manipulation inside the vagina, as per a vaginal orgasm, but with an added jackpot. Giving the female an amazing double whammy orgasm. Sometimes after ejaculation the female can virtually pass out from the after-glow of forceful feelings. But don’t worry, unlike men, there’s usually more to follow. Give her a few minutes and she’ll be filling up like the office water cooler.

Obviously a starting point to your crusade is required. It usually helps to wait until your lucky lady is already aroused before declaring your honorable intentions. Place a towel on the bed to help absorb your 'baptism’. Each orgasm will deliver a different volume of liquid in all manner of directions and velocity. This can range in spectacle from a trickling 5ml to a turbulent 200ml (I no longer worry about my creative juices drying up, as I reckon with my other talents I could easily always get some freelance work with the fire service).

I would just also like to rectify a point here about another 'urban myth’ that we girls have been swallowing for years. When was it actually decided that the male load averaged at 10cc? Who were these 'specimens’? My boyfriend often cums so much I once actually accused him of being a freak. Bad etiquette I know, but sometimes I resemble the star attraction at a 'Bukakke’ club. I have literally eaten his humble pie though; first time I ejaculated over him he was perfecting his oral skills. I came so much he was thoroughly drenched. His hair, face and chest were totally dripping. The sheet showed perfectly where his head and torso had taken the brunt, leaving an outlined dry patch. He loved his 'baptism’ so much I counted 9 more ejaculations before rolling over, passing out and leaving him with the mess. Now there’s a novel occurrence. On other more adventurous occasions we have actually measured distances, managing up to 5ft of coverage; and I used to think the Bangkok ping-pong ball trick was impressive.

If you haven’t yet introduced toys to your relationship, fingers will be more than adequate for the job. Both can achieve the desired result but for first timers you will need to feel your way around, so you should probably leave the toys until later. Scrub your hands well. Trim and if necessary file your fingernails, you don’t want to cut the poor girl (Welders, Guitarists and Builders take note: your fingers are not often noted as 'hands that do dishes’. But this is one area you can truly exploit those textured fingertips). It can also help to exercise your arms and fingers a little; you do not want to find yourself huffing 'are you nearly there yet?’ Time should not be of essence during sex unless your girlfriends expecting a birthday telegram from the Queen.

Start off slowly with lots of foreplay, for both parties. Maneuver her onto her back with you positioned between her thighs. Using your fingers and tongue stimulate her clitoris. Wet your fingers and tweak her nipples to really get her going, whilst executing the best cunnilingus skills you can muster. When you sense her starting to get aroused, insert two fingers inside her with your palm facing upwards. Enter your fingers up to the second knuckle and bend upwards to create an L shape. Now gently probe around until you find a rough surface approximately 2 inches in length. This is the G-spot and is located directly behind the clitoris but inside her pussy.

When you literally 'hit the spot’, start to stroke this area and it should start too en-large. Ask her to let you know if she can feel any increase in intensity. If she can’t maybe you have the wrong area so keep looking. Don’t go mad, but you may be surprised at your partner’s thresholds. Try out differing degrees of pressure as you are probing, and if necessary use some lube. Massaging the clitoris with your thumb whilst doing this also increases stimulation. If she is having trouble relaxing or is becoming self-conscious be prepared to let her see that it’s also working for you. It helps to see that your fella is enjoying himself, and watching my guy 'box with his one-eyed champ is an absolute delight.

Your stroking may need some variety. You can work the two fingers together simultaneously or they can work in opposition like a finger walking exercise. Work around the whole area. An effective method is to combine the two previous suggestions followed by sliding your fingers in about an inch, before pulling out and sliding them back in. Start off slowly and build in speed. Don’t go too hard; you are not trying to fist her. Try stimulating her clitoris at the same time; trust me this is not a time for idle hands. Keep measuring her responses. Heavy breathing, deep moaning and contractions around your fingers are a good indication that something is working. When you feel her start to bear down, begin pumping your fingers faster. At some point hopefully your girlfriend will experience a desire to pee. This is what you are both aiming for. If she can bear down and positively encourage this, and your handy-work has been sufficient, things should get very wet.

This isn’t necessarily the best position to achieve ejaculation. The inside of a women’s vagina is shaped, sized and angled individually, a bit like the shape of the male member. Penetration from behind may definitely be the key. Do remember however that in this position you need to work palm down. It will be easier for you to work on her G-spot and massage her clit at the same time. Try different variations with hands, tongues and fingers. Remember, if you do become dis-heartened, this time there are prizes for her 'Cumming’ first. If fingers are not working, try using your thumb. Although initially it won’t reach the G-spot, if you stimulate her clitoris it will swell during arousal. Take two fingers and lay them either side of her clitoris, then position your thumb inside her forming a three-fingered claw. This allows for the curve between the forefinger and middle finger to apply pressure and friction to the clit. If you start to move your thumb and fingers in a pumping motion you will massage both clit and G-spot at the same time. When she starts to bear down increase your speed. Over time it is possible to control and even prevent ejaculation whilst still enjoying the orgasm, but that’s just plain criminal! 'Please release me, let me flow’ should be every female’s motto. If your girlfriend does manage to ejaculate it will, rest assured, catch you both by surprise. This is a significant moment for both of you, and if it’s either party’s first time, you will remember that moment of impact forever. The truly amazing bonus that evolution has granted us finally superior to males is that we can do it again and again. Be aware that in the same way we can have multiple orgasms, we can also have multiple ejaculations. Intensity and amount of fluid may vary with each individual orgasm until our supplies are depleted, but the sensations just get better. Being entered from behind whilst 'squirting’ provides the ultimate finishing touch. The smile of the man who is lucky enough to have his balls drenched by his ladies cum is definitely a Kodak moment.

Your girlfriend may not ejaculate every time she orgasms, and indeed a case is even documented where a lady approached her gynecologist believing she was ill because it had stopped happening. Pressure on the female to deliver can be intense, and can prevent ejaculation in the same way it happens to men. Relaxation, an open mind and willingness are the three key factors. If these elements all click the final result will most likely be the most pleasurable and intense orgasm she has ever experienced. Now just imagine being the guy able to deliver that!

After ejaculating your girlfriend will obviously, and hopefully, be a bit delirious for a few moments. It passes way too quickly so let her enjoy it before commencing with your wicked-way. She probably will want you to continue in a few seconds, or she may wish to have a breather. But I’m sure you will also wish to take a couple of seconds to comprehend the aftermath. As for achieving other ejaculations beyond this point, it’s a bit like riding a bike hopefully without the grazed knees.

Once perfected, don’t be surprised when she now starts to hassle you for oral. Yep! Equal rights! Which leads us nicely on to the etiquette of swallowing and taste. Like male ejaculate, the taste of lady-juice can vary from bitter to sweet according to diet, water consumption and a host of other environmental and biological factors. Male porn stars frequently abstain from alcohol or spicy food for a couple of days before a shoot to combat what is known as the 'gag factor’. It’s an assault on the ladies taste buds and will invariably produce a 'Spunk-purging’ reaction. But if you drink a pint of water and avoid spicy food, it’s not quite the delight of Evian, but it’s definitely more palatable. Well the same goes for us girls. On occasion it can taste sweet, on occasion bitter and at certain times of the month metallic…it is generally advised to avoid these times as you could end up earning your 'red wings’. Nuff said!

By dirtyjoe69

Here’s More About the female Ejaculation, written to help men understand that she didn’t just pee in bed. In fact, her body and soul just paid you the highest sexual compliment that you can ever get. Perhaps 90% of men will never know the accomplishment of bringing a woman to this high level of sexual ecstasy. Here’s an essay from Roissy.

Squirting; She Can Do It!

In most stories Its mentioned how the women cum so hard it shoots out of their pussies. Not unlike a guy shooting ropes. It is all in the technique, and you can get there too. Whether you are a man who wants to see his lady just soak the hell out of the sheets or you’re a woman who would like to experience total indescribable bliss. Then you should read on.

A long time ago when the wife and I first started dating, almost fourteen years, we were like any other couple just starting a relationship. We would fuck our brains out every chance we got! The kitchen, the bedroom, the living room it didn’t really matter what room or what place, if we got a moment we took it. We thought our sex life was spectacular. Heck one night I remember ejaculating more than seven times. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many she had. We loved it all; oral, different positions, tie up games, fun with food, and even ventured into the swinging scene. We would read erotic novels or go on the computer to Literotica to find hot stories then play out the scenes. We had tried just about anything “normal” (because normal is relative) two people could do with each other. She would give me mind blowing orgasms with her mouth, cunt, and ass. I would eat her pussy till she couldn’t take anymore. Then one day we watched a movie, I can’t really recall what one it was but anyway, in this movie it showed a technique for making the woman cum so hard that her cum would actually squirt right out of her pussy. And let me tell ya, the look on the girl’s face when she was finished cumming was remarkable. It was a look of pure satisfaction. My wife asked me if I thought we should try the procedure and I said absolutely!

Now that you know how our sex elevated to frequent squirting, and let me tell you it is still a regular occurrence, let me explain how it is done! A pre-step to take before trying this method. Make sure to take a leak before you start. An emptied bladder is more responsive to sexual stimuli. You’ll understand more as we continue.

If you’re a woman who wants a higher degree of arousal and wet, mind-blowing multiple orgasms, let me talk to the man in your sex life. I have some special instructions to share.

This kind of arousal needs more than a massive cock to make it happen. Here’s how to get her off over and over, in a wild and wet session.

STEP 1: Make sure you’re both comfortable. Maybe a little wine, soft music, or perhaps a good erotic massage, it doesn’t matter, just as long as a woman is completely relaxed.

STEP 2: Do whatever it is you usually do to have a nice normal orgasm. If a female orgasm is having problems occurring, just skip right to STEP 4).

STEP 3: Make sure she is feeling very comfortable, it is key!

STEP 4: Start licking the woman’s clit and slide two fingers deep in her cunt. If your woman has a slightly bigger cunt opening, then increase the number of fingers being used.

STEP 5: Turn said fingers so that your palm is up facing you. (If a lady is trying to do this alone, she should have her palm against her pubic bone then bend the wrist so it points away from her body. Almost like are making a scoop.)

STEP 6: Push your fingers toward the ceiling. You want to turn your wrist like you are trying to start a motorcycle.

STEP 7: Run your fingers along this “wall”, feel for a small rough area. Believe it or not it kind of feels like a walnut. She will know the spot immediately.

STEP 8: Keep rubbing, increasing the speed and pressure as you do. Don’t rub too hard or too fast right off the start. Work up to it.

STEP 9: This is probably the most important one. When you do see your woman starting to get real excited, they might tell you to stop because they feel like they are about to pee. Remind them they have no pee in their bladder, and tell them to JUST RELAX and let it Go!

STEP 10: Take cover because you are about to be showered upon. My wife has squirted over three feet in the air lying on her back!!

So there you have it, lovers, ten steps to oblivion. I forgot to mention one thing. TOWELS, TOWELS, TOWELS! Or get a second set of sheets ready. And don’t whine about doing extra laundry, it is totally worth it.

I can’t promise this method will work for you but if you want to pursue a mind-blowing ecstasy, and never have before; why not give it a shot. We did, and the shooting hasn’t stopped since.

Cheers

By Roissy & dirtyjoe69 for Literotica

from How-To Sex Podcast

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how-to-do-it-better · 14 days

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Cock Worship

Why she loves to pleasure his cock, and how she does it.

By AnaLeePleasured. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I have always found it odd that there are women out there who do not enjoy giving a man a blow-job, especially if it is the man they love, or are in love with. Personally I just cannot imagine anything nicer than the experience of sucking a beautiful hard, or soft cock and knowing that my efforts are being enjoyed. I believe it is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to pleasure a man in this way. I have always wanted to explain why I love it so much and how I feel when I do it and what the experience gives me.

That is what I will attempt to do now. I hope that someone out there enjoys reading about how wonderful cock sucking is from one woman’s perspective, and hopefully somehow, a few of those women out there who see it as a “chore” can be converted into developing a new attitude to pleasuring their man.

My first time that I went down on a man was after a late, or rather, early night of partying hard on the dance floor of a local nightclub when I was just eighteen. He was thirty-seven and we had been getting hot and close all night and into the morning. Others on the dance floor were telling us to “get a room”, and we finally listened to them. So off we went to his place for the rest of the ‘night’.

We both had a shower and went to bed but sleep was the last thing on our minds. So we kissed and I finally got close enough to see what I had been brushing up against all night. His cock was long and hard and I ached to touch it. I didn’t ask, just reached out and felt it, running my hand up and down the shaft, Soon I was masturbating him with both hands and getting more and more excited by his groans of pleasure. I don’t know why, but I just sort of took control of the situation because he was enjoying himself so much and seemed happy by what I was doing. So I kissed a trail down his strong lean stomach till my mouth found its target.

He was so surprised when my mouth engulfed his cock. He couldn’t seem to believe that I had just gone straight down on him without a word of encouragement from him. He seemed almost alarmed that I had wanted to suck his cock. For me it was the most natural thing in the world. I had never done it before and I had never even seen porn at that stage in my life. I just knew I wanted to taste, to use all the senses that I possessed. But then, that is just how I am, I believe in getting the most out of a beautiful experience, making meaningful memories that last long after the act. That is what I am all about.

So that was my first experience of sucking a cock and when I think about it now, what I loved most of all about it, was the way he enjoyed what I did. He encouraged me every step of the way with moans and groans, saying “YES” when I sucked his balls or gently stroked them with my hands while sucking his cock. Then afterwards, he had looked at me in amazement and awe, admitting that he had never been so masterfully handled before and wondering where I had learned to do it so well.

He also told me that no woman had seemed to really enjoy sucking his cock before and that it usually seemed as if a woman did it as a “favor” or saw it as a “chore”, needing to be asked to do it. He said he couldn’t believe I had done it voluntarily. What he said had made me wonder why anyone faced with such a lovely cock would need to be asked to suck it, I just couldn’t understand it. From that first experience I learned so much about men and what they like and I also learned about myself and what I like too.

For me there is no greater compliment than having a man’s erect cock pointing straight at me, I see it like a child sees candy, it just begs to be tasted and sucked. It is my reward for being a good girl, I get to have the lollipop. When we are young our parents teach us that there is more joy in giving, than receiving and as we grow older, many of us stop thinking that way and start to want more and more and give less and less. That is such a shame because life should be more about giving and enjoying the shared pleasures that creates.

It is not a nice feeling when we give someone a present and then realize that it is not actually something that they need or want. But most women quickly recognize that sucking their man’s cock is one of the greatest presents you can give him, and sadly, many women use this as a blackmailing tool, manipulating their men into giving them something or doing something for them or forgiving them after a fight. This really makes me angry and my heart goes out to those men who are being used in such ways.

What do I love about sucking a juicy cock? Well, this is something that cannot be said in a sentence or two, I need to write a whole fucking story about it! For me it is an honor, as mentioned before. Here is a man, a beautiful man with a nice juicy cock all ready to be used by you. Just the thought that someone WANTS me to pleasure him, that is the first thing that excites me beyond belief! Without that WANT, I might as well be sitting back watching television.

I love the visual aspect of a cock disappearing into a willing mouth, and sometimes I envy the man because he gets to look down at his cock moving in and out between loving lips of a wanting woman. So, because I cannot see it from where I am, up close to all the action, I imagine how it must look to the man I am sucking, seeing it from his point of view. That turns me on BIGTIME!! I love when a man tells his woman to “look up” at him while she sucks him, and I imagine that sight from his perspective.

Eye contact is so important for me during sex. Eyes are windows to the soul, so to look into them means to see more than just a cock, or a man, or a woman, but instead to see right through to what makes them who they are. That is something I find incredibly attractive when I am in love. I want to see inside the man, which allows me access to even his deepest, darkest secrets and desires. When I look up into a man’s eyes as I suck his cock, my heart beats even faster and harder, making me hornier and wetter. To see a man’s eyes reflecting the emotions he is feeling, the amazing sight he is seeing, the sensations he is experiencing, THAT stays with me and affects my every thought of him from that moment on.

I also love seeing a cock all shiny and wet with my saliva from sucking him and spitting on him. It is a turn-on for both my man and me when my mouth pulls back from sucking and there is a long rope of drool connecting my mouth with his cock. It is all part of getting 'down and dirty’ during an intense sexual experience. The visual aspect itself is fantastic, but that is expanded even more when you add the mental stimulation. The fact that a woman will play for hours with a man’s cock and drool all over it and enjoy seeing all that wetness and get turned on by it, that is what pleases a man and when he is pleased, that in turn pleases me too.

I have often made reference to my sense of smell when engaging in close contact with another. How a man smells all over and especially when you get close to his cock, can mean the difference between a woman feeling like she is in heaven, or in bed with the toilet brush. That may sound cruel but I can understand why some women are turned off by a man who is not clean or healthy. An unhealthy man who does not eat the right foods or drink plenty of water can smell less than nice and this affects the mood and the taste of his cock and also the taste and smell of his cum.

I love the clean, fresh smell of a healthy man who takes great pride in his body. This also makes me want to worship his body as I would like mine worshiped. I even love the smell of a healthy man’s sweat. This kind of sweat is even a turn-on for me after he has been exercising and while he works out with me.

My mouth waters when I kiss the head of a man’s cock. I feel the anticipation of what he will taste like and slowly I let my tongue lick over his head and gently into the eye, marveling at the fact that this is the source of so much, most importantly, the giver of human life. Right there at the tip of his manhood is the place where such important bodily fluids are excreted. My knees go weak when I think about this place I am licking, allowing myself to love all that this sacred tool is used for.

I love using my tongue to trace a line of saliva around the rim of his mushroom head and allow it to pop in and out of my mouth. This gets me really worked up as it is very sexual. I love to look up right then and see him close his eyes in pleasure at the friction that is created with this movement. I love to hear the sounds of his rapid breathing and the deep rumbling timbre of his lustful groans. I love the excited thrusting motions as he tilts his hips to meet my hungry mouth. Allowing the rhythm to take a hold of me and escalate, is something so exciting.

Hands are so important during all forms of sex as they are what 'speaks’ when there are no words. My favorite is kissing him while working my saliva covered hands up and down his slick shaft, being sure to stimulate the sensitive parts around the rim of his head. I enjoy pulling my head back a little so I can just look into his eyes while masturbating him and telling him how much I love him and what I am doing to him. There is so much you can do with your hands during a blow-job, an endless list of techniques which stimulate him in different ways, like rotating two hands around him or stroking his balls at the same time, or just using two fingers, thumb and second finger in the shape of an O, just rapidly over his head.

I love the sense of power that I have when I hold my man’s cock in my mouth or hands. At that moment and for the next hour or two, I am in control of what happens, and I am responsible for him having the most sensational, meaningful experience possible. I want it to be mind-blowing for him and not over and done with in an instant. I want to take him to the edge as many times as possible, stopping every time he is about to cum. I want him to experience orgasms of the mind and body, sometimes cumming only a little bit (if he is capable of that, not all men can do it) and then at the end, allowing him to shoot hot ribbons of cum as far as he can, or all over me.

The first time I tried to swallow a man’s cum I was only eighteen years old and I did not like the taste. It was like horrible warm soup to me and I had to spit it out, almost vomiting in the process. For some women it is like that every time and they never get used to the taste and smell. But for me, the greater my love for the man, the greater my fascination with his cum. Now I love to smell it and lick the little droplets of pre-cum off the tip of his cock. I love the feeling of accepting his 'offering’ to me like a reward for my efforts when he finally cums.

I have learned that a man is very proud of his cock and what cums out of it. For him to see a woman enjoying his cock and his cum, makes him feel emotions that are almost too hard to put into words. When I saw my fist porno I watched in horror as the man came all over the woman’s face and tits as well as into her mouth. I couldn’t believe she was actually enjoying that! Now I beg for cum. I love the fact that it is such a turn-on for a man to see his cum all over a woman as she smiles and licks it off. Once again, I put the shoe on the other foot and see it from his point of view. How AMAZING must it be to look down on a woman on her knees as long ribbons of cum spurt out of your cock and land all over her lovely face?

There are so many things you can do when you have a man’s cock in your mouth. When I first watched porn, I would skip over the part where the woman was sucking him because I had no real concept of what went on during that time, the cameral didn’t go into her mouth. But now I know how much actually goes on in there. You can tell from the sounds a man is making what is happening to his cock. I like to flick the tip of my tongue over the eye of a man’s cock and especially work up a rhythm around the sensitive dent where the rim meets on the underside of his cock, all the while still sucking him and moving his cock in and out of my mouth. This can only be felt by my man and me but not seen by anyone watching.

Another discovery which was so exciting for me was the concept of 'deep throating’. I never realized that it was possible to take a man’s cock down deep into my throat. I thought that when it slid into my mouth and stopped, that was it, that was as far as it could go. When I found out that a cock can actually move past that stopping point and slide down my throat I was so amazed. It is hard work, especially with a thick cock but the look on his face, pure joy, and the sounds of raw ecstasy in his voice as he realizes what you are doing for him, that is worth any discomfort. I have enjoyed this form of giving and have made it a point to 'practice’ as often as I can so I get used to relaxing my throat to ward off my 'gagging reflex’. This is where I like to use my various different sized dildos.

There are still two more senses I have not gone into in any great depth. Those are the sounds and the feel or more importantly, the feelings. I find the sounds that sucking on a cock makes, exciting and dirty in an animal-like way. The squelching sounds of hands covered in saliva, rubbing over a dripping cock, fucking awesome! It all adds to the experience in a positive way, heightening sexual pleasure for both the man and the woman.

I always say to men that if they want to know how the head of a cock feels in your mouth, then take a boiled egg and peel it. Pop it into your mouth and lick it, and that is what it feels like. It is so smooth and velvety and delicate, so sweet and succulent. I love textures, materials that are smooth or ribbed, silky or course. The feel of a man’s hairy strong arm against my smooth bald pussy, this all adds to the excitement and sensation so that feeling of touching his cock and balls to me is like an 'all you can eat buffet’ is to a starving man.

I know that I have only touched the surface of what can be done, and what can be felt when going down on a man or 'giving head’, but I am not a very technical type of person so I can only try to describe how it feels to me. My greatest fantasy is to have a naked man on my bed and to have the next few hours or days or weeks to just do everything I have always dreamed of doing to and for him. For me it all begins and ends with the mind. First you must have the thought and then you put it into action. But at the end you must be able to reflect on what you did and communicate with your partner. This way you learn from each experience and find ways of improving each time.

There is an endless world of different sexual experiences to be had so there are no excuses for doing the same thing, the same way, every time.

So women who just suck their man’s cock for a few minutes as foreplay should re-examine what they are giving. You don’t cook the same dish, the same way, every day, so why not shake things up a bit? I believe that women who have a sexy male in their life, should worship his cock.

By Ana Lee Pleasured for Literotica

from How-To Sex Podcast

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how-to-do-it-better · 15 days

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Getting Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy

How to train a man to love cunnilingus.

By cd prosper ot. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

A lot of women love to have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won’t do it, won’t do it right or long enough or if he treats pussy-licking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don’t just complain.

Here’s some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1: Initiate Sex

Are you horny? Do you want his cock, his finger, his ass or especially his tongue: then let him know it! A lot of women, even if they’re dripping wet and desperate to be sucked and fucked into oblivion, will wait for their man to initiate sex. Chances are that when that happens, a man is going to have his own agenda. But, why not start out with your agenda, instead of his?

So what if you’re shy! Get over it! We know that women have moments when you want and even need sex. So tell him when that happens! If you’re in a relationship, what on earth is the point of hiding your sexual needs? Is it some kind of weird power trip: if he knows you need sex, you can’t ration it? That might have worked in the fifties, but surely we’re way past that now. Besides, nothing will turn him on faster more than knowing that you want sex. So tell him! But how?

Words are best: nothing like an e-mail or a quick phone call to his office, provided it’s private, if you need that; and a “Honey: I can’t wait till you get home. My panties are sopping wet.” Or “I’m so horny and my vibrator isn’t doing it for me; I need you!” You can bet that he’s going to blow off or rush through whatever overtime might have been in the offing (if he is the type who stays at work when he has a horny chick to come home to, what on earth are you doing with him in the first place?).

If you’re reluctant to be that explicit you can always use all the tried and true chick ‘come hither’numbers. That’s Okay. But if your man is tired or depressed, he can miss the non-verbal cues, or worse, ignore them. Ignoring a verbal invitation is not an option for most men: 99 times out of a hundred he’s going to accept, no matter how tired or down he is.

One final suggestion: a pre-arranged signal. One couple has a bride and groom from a wedding cake. When either one wants sex, they put it out where the other can see it: yes, it’s really hokey, but it works.

So, why is so important for you to initiate sex? Because you score big, big points with your man just by initiating: men hate, let me repeat that, men hate the burden of always having to initiate sex because unless you’re hooking up with a nymphomaniac (whom most of us have never met, let alone screwed), initiating sex involves a certain probability (often quite a high probability) of rejection and attendant humiliation. When you initiate you instantly get your man’s gratitude, and cooperation. And if he doesn’t like to dive into your muff and polish your pearl, you will need some of that cooperation. So initiate already.

All right, you have your man racing to get into your panties. Now what?

2: Tell him, yes, tell him in clear words, what you want.

Now, I gave you, reluctantly; non-verbal alternatives to initiate sex. But there’s no way around this one, you have to say exactly what you want: “Honey, could you go down on me.” “Honey, I need your tongue,” The more explicit and urgent the better: “Lick me!” “Eat me!” “Suck my pussy!” Especially, if you’re somewhat prudish or restrained, the more graphic and desperate your language, the more you will turn your man on and, maybe get his head between your legs, fast.

Be sure to use a pleasant and delighted voice. And it’s all about how you frame the issue. Never tell him what he’s failing at. Tell him what you need more of. When you tell him what he failed, he feels rejected and his confidence is crushed. That’s never a good thing for healthy coupling. But when you share your need, you allow him to be a hero and rush to your cause. It makes him feel needed, desired, and special.

You can add that if you were more ravished in this manner ‘God knows what you might do for him?’ Or how much more often you’d be shagging him.

But if you can’t keep a patient and encouraging tone, plan another time to work on this improvement to your lovemaking. You don’t want to risk him despising cunnilingus, just because you were rude of insulting to him.

But what do you do if your man refuses or expresses reluctance? Amazingly, there are some guys who are grossed out by the thought of connecting their mouth to their woman’s pussy. If he refuses or if all you can get is a quick kiss on the twat you’ll have to settle for that, temporarily. Okay, let him do his thing and start your campaign.

3: Your campaign begins with talking. Yes, you heard it right, talk to your man.

Personally, I am thrilled to talk to my partner about sex: it’s so much more exciting and much closer to my heart than talking about kids or chores: but then I have an unbelievably open and understanding spouse. And, as a bonus, it’s often a huge turn-on to talk about sex, especially in public (discreetly or undiscreetly depending on how much of an exhibitionist you are).

Now I know that there are a lot of men, and women, who are too uptight or scared to talk openly to their partners about their love life. But I don’t care if you have to go to a sex therapist to get a conversation going. If you’re going to have a sexual relationship that lasts more than a few weeks, you need to be able to talk about sex with him. And the odds are overwhelming that he’s not going to initiate that discussion. So first, accept the necessity of talking and second, figure out how to initiate it.

Once you have a conversation going, it’s important to be gentle and supportive but also to let him know how you feel, what you like and what you want from him. Above all, avoid any hint of criticism or anger. Let him know you appreciate his willingness to be open and to meet your sexual needs.

First, remind him that it’s not unhygienic to kiss your cunny: your bush is actually cleaner and more sanitary than his mouth (why else did God invent Listerine?). And reassure him that before you’ll ask him to head south, you’ll make sure you’re really clean down there. Please note that some men actually prefer that you not be overzealous about scrubbing your cunny, especially if you’ve been horny and wet all day; but that’s another subject.

Second, let him know that if the two of you are going to continue to have sex, then you want oral sex to be a part of it. Also, you’re willing to take it slow and let him get acclimated; and finally, you don’t want to expect to cum every single time he goes down on you, that he has the right to stop if he’s tired and that you don’t want him to carry on heroically to get you to cum when his jaw is falling off.

It’s way better to express your needs and wants directly than to abandon or suppress them or even worse fight him passively aggressively. Once you stated your position, it also helps if you let him know that you’ll be patient and help him get through the awkwardness and that you appreciate his willingness and his commitment to satisfying you. And there are plenty of books and how-to articles, and yes, videos. You can use them all, to help initiate him into the ancient art of satisfying his woman with his tongue. You could start with some excellent pieces on cunnilingus in this “How To” section. Let him know, that you’re willing to reciprocate. He’ll be on really shaky ground if he likes having you suck his cock but he won’t lick your pussy!

Finally, you need to talk about is what turns you on sexually. If something has worked and he’s done it right, let him know it, verbally, non-verbally, anyway at all. Just make it obvious that he’s had an effect. Don’t fake it or exaggerate too much. But do let him know what gets your juices flowing.

About Pussy Juice.

Speaking of juices, there’s no way to avoid having him deal with your nectar. Pussy juice is the elexir of life, the yummiest, most delicious, most aphrodisical liquid in the universe, better than chocolate, can you imagine? If your man is not one of that opinion, and he’d better have a lot else going for him if he isn’t, then you will have to initiate him into one of the principal joys of oral sex.

My experience is that most women have at least some and maybe a lot of anxiety about how you taste and smell down there. And there are some times when your cunny might not taste or smell great. Start by finding out yourself. That means, to put it bluntly, you need to taste and smell your pussy more than once. If you’re not comfortable doing that, how can you expect your man to be?

Fresh & Clean

I think most men are probably turned off by the smell of urine and execrement and the thought of swishing those in our mouths (not to mention your monthly flow). So try to eliminate those, but, please don’t try to cover up with scented soaps or deodorants. I’m sorry, but even those who are not as totally nuts about pussy juice as, do not want to be sniffing, or worse, tasting; scented fruit soap or perfume in your nether regions. The idea here is to get your man to want the taste and smell of your cunt, not the latest Proctor and Gamble product, or lint, or bits of toilet tissue.

Once you know that there are no obnoxious experiences for him down below, then you need to start stage two of your campaign.

4. The Campaign, Stage Two: Practising Kissing, Licking and Sucking.

Okay, enough about talking and testing, let’s get back to sex! The best way to get your man started on the road to great cunnilingus, it to draw the connection in his mind between kissing and oral sex. Now that may be obvious to you, but, trust me, it’s not obvious to a lot of men. A great many women complain that their partners are not into kissing, don’t seem to enjoy it and don’t do it very well. You can change that; yes, you can. Start by assessing your own kissing skills: are you completely passive, waiting for the man to plant the lip lock on you? Do you swoop in and peck at your partner with wild abandon? Neither one of those approaches is going to convince your man that kissing is a rewarding part of sex to be enjoyed its own right and not just as a necessary means to get his wiener into your bun.

The first time I understood the mind-blowing potential of a kiss was a few years ago after an obligatory lunch at a rooftop hotel dining room with a friend whom I had and have absolutely no desire to bed. I’m happily married and I want it to stay that way. As we took the elevator, I was given the most seductive, the most tender, the most erotic kiss, ever!. Now, I’ve kissed a lot of lovers (the order of magnitude will remain hazy in the interests of preserving my marriage). But that kiss was a revelation. It was an invitation, words fail me. Can you kiss like that? If not, start practicing. This is something that you and your women friends can definitely discuss, and maybe even practice. And then take the initiative. Show your man what soft, tender, lengthy kisses can be like. If you blow his mind, you’ll be on your way to having him blow your twat!

Once you have him started understanding and enjoying kissing, then get him into kissing, sucking and licking your tits as an activity that is pleasurable in itself rather than just as a prelude to intercourse. If you don’t like having him play with your tits, then just skip this section. Very few women actively encourage their partners to suck and lick their tits, and that’s what you need to do.

Take your breast and actually rub it on his face. Play with your nipple on his lips. Moan appreciatively when something he does turns you on. Above all, tell him what works, what does turn you on and gently guide him: “softer,” or “harder”, “bite me gently!” “yes, keep going!”. As long as what he’s doing is even mildly pleasurable for you, keep him at it for as long as you can! This is training, and you want him well trained when you send him south! He needs to find out how to use his mouth and lips tenderly, how to prolong the pleasure, how to keep you on the edge. Every moment spent giving your tits pleasure is great preparation for him making love to your cunt and great training for you in communicating what turns you. So don’t be in a hurry to send him down to the engine room before of you are properly trained and ready to perform your respective tasks!

When you, are ready, then you can give him permission to move further south. Not all the way just yet; he has more practicing to do. This is where you learn to tell him what to do, and make it whatever might turn you on. What you have him do is strictly up to you, but at this stage keep it relatively short. He could kiss your stomach, lick your thighs, roll his face on your mound; just as long as he keeps his face and his hands out of your crotch until you give the word. If what he does isn’t doing anything for you, cut it short and get his face into your pussy.

An Aside on Shaving

I’m totally with Sophia Jane (“A Girl’s Guide to Getting Head”) in the camp of do whatever is comfortable for you. If you don’t mind shaving and you like the way it feels and looks, go for it! If shaving makes you itchy but you don’t want a full bush, trim away. If you don’t want to be bothered with shaving or trimming, by all means flaunt your beaver! The point is that you need to be comfortable with how your pussy looks and feels, and when you’re comfortable, it’s easier for your man to be comfortable with your pussy too.

And don’t be defensive about your choice. Either way has its rewards for your man. Yes, many appreciate the incredibly soft and delicate feel of a shaved pussy. Feeling a woman’s soft swollen labia is any unbelieveably thrilling part of oral sex! And it’s a definite turn on to be able to see a pair of engorged cunt lips or a hungry aroused clit emerging from its hood and begging to be sucked. But it’s also great for your guy to feel a sopping wet bushy beaver desperately thrashing against his face. And a hairy cunt definitely seems to give off more delectable pussy smell! So, both shaved and full bush or anything in between, has its joys for the male tribe. It’s your choice: experiment and go with what feels right for you, and if you want to change it, change it!

5. The Campaign: Stage 3:

Okay, his face is between your thighs. What now?

I know you may feel incredibly vulnerable in this position. But you need to remind yourself that you are the boss. If you man is inexperienced or repulsed by oral sex, you need to take charge and tell him what to do: namely, whatever he pleases you. Start by keeping it slow and simple. The first thing both he and you need to learn is how he can tease you. So have him experiment and tell him what works. You might have him stay away from your clit at first, and lick and kiss delicately around your outer lips, your mound and your perineum. Some women like to have their man take their whole cunt into their mouth; for others, that does absolutely nothing. Some woman adore having their man tongue-fuck their cunt hole. For others, it’s an annoyance. You need to tell him what’s working, what starts the juices flowing for you. And you and your man need to keep reminding yourselves to take your time, take it slow and not rush towards orgasm.

If you’re like most women, it feels better to be teased with a very light touch of his tongue. He needs to be guided to do that, It took us a long time, a lot of practice, and a lot of communication to be able to achieve the kind of light touch that delights and sends a woman into orbit. But it’s definitely worth it!

Note: you may need to remind your man to keep his mouth and tongue wet. Don’t hesitate to give those kinds of reminders. It’s much better that your man knows that than that you are uncomfortable.

You may want your man to use his hands to hold your pussy wider. You’ll need to tell him how much force to use. Some women love their pussies are wide enough so that they can easily tongue-fucked. Others don’t. Also, some women like to have a man push his hand on their stomach. To others, that’s a distraction. Either way is fine: just say what works.

Most women (but you may be the exception) want to be thoroughly teased and aroused before their man starts working on their clit. You need to tell him when the time is right and how you like your clit to be stimulated. Some women like a man to start by holding their clit gently in his mouth and then very gently flicking it with his tongue. Other women are so turned on at his stage that they prefer a harder touch or even a light nibble.

Again you need to pleasantly communicate what works for you. And when you get to the point, where you can’t stand being teased and you have to cum, your man needs to know that he has to hang in there and not break his concentration or his rhythm until either; you cum, or one of you has to give up.

At some point many women want their partner to use their finger or fingers in addition to their tongue. If you’re among those, you need to make it clear when that would be good. For some women, especially those who get wet easily, it doesn’t matter too much if a finger goes in very early. For others who need to be really turned on to have their juices flow, it might be painful to have their man’s finger up their cunt too soon. But there are great lubes to remedy all that.

You also need to tell him what kind of digital stimulation works best for you. Some women love a vigorous finger-fucking. Others hate it. Some like their man to rub their clit with his finger. Others want a tongue exclusively. Almost every woman I know, adores a soft, slow, gentle stimulation of their g-spot. A man needs some guidance to be able to do that. So give him that guidance: it will be well worth it. A woman’s orgasm is much, much more intense when both her clit and her g-spot are being stimulated at the same time.

When it’s done right and your anatomy allows, he might get not just a squirt but a great gush of pussy juice right in his face. Now, there seem to be some men who are disgusted by the thought of their woman cumming all over their face. Of course, they can’t expect to be able to squirt semen on your face if they won’t allow you to give them a facial. If your man absolutely can’t tolerate your squirting on his face, you may have to draw the line there; although maybe he can compromise by letting you cum on his chest.

Fortunately, there are a huge number of men who absolutely thrive to give you the best tongue licking possible and take it as a personal compliment if you squirt on their face. This is such a turn-on that when it happens!

I just hope that at least some of what I have written above will help you train your man to enjoy diving into your muff and giving you mindblowing oral sex.

By cd prosper ot from How-To Sex Podcast

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how-to-do-it-better · 16 days

Text

Reasons For Going Braless

It may be time to let the girls out of boob prison.

With Sam EscobaR, Tonilyn HornunG, & CQt Rose. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

With their pokey underwire, thick straps and sweat-trapping cups, bras are not always the most comfortable thing in the world. Sure, getting a bra that properly fits can do wonders for your boobs, but there's nothing quite like going without one.

While there are certainly some folks who simply can't go bra-free, whether it's due to comfort or size, the ones who can; seem to universally agree that it is supremely amazing — whether you do it in public or just in the comfort of your own home. As someone with large breasts who has recently started embracing the wonders of going braless, I am totally obsessed. Why? Let me count the ways.

1. Your boob sweat can just ... evaporate.

Look, one of the most inconvenient things about summer (and having big boobs in general) is the pool of under-boob sweat that appears with the slightest hint of heat. When you skip the bra, you have a chance to air it all out rather than pressing that gross moisture against your skin all day. It even creates health risks of skin infections and rashes.

2. Your natural chest shape emerges.

For years, I thought that extremely round, padded and shaped look was the best one for my body. Now that I've started skipping a bra all together, I actually get to see the shape of my breasts, about which I've been previously self-conscious. It's fine if you like a bra-shaped appearance for your boobs, but it never hurts to try something new.

3. You realize how unique all boobs are.

Since the bra-free look has returned to popularity, more folks with differently shaped breasts have been rocking it. Droopy, small, large, asymmetrical, perky — all sorts, not just the one type fashion, movies and TV would have us believe. And the cool thing about that is that it's a reminder of how different chests are from one person to the next.

4. You get that "just took off my bra" feeling all. day. long.

You know how wonderful it feels to remove your bra the moment you get home? Imagine experiencing that delight for the entire day.

5. You save money on bras.

Fact: Bras are expensive. Another fact: Replacing them is annoying. If you wind up only wearing one for half of the week, you go through 'em half as fast — and spend half as much.

6. Nipples are highly underrated accessories.

The 1970s was a glamorous decade filled with glitz, gold and visible nipples. Take a page from the disco era and allow your nipples to add a little extra fun to your look. After all, men wear theirs out literally the entire summer. What's the big deal about letting ours simply rest naturally under the fabric of a shirt?

7. You look great in a crop top.

If you've ever felt so inclined to try the continuously popular crop top (hey — it's for any age, any body type!), I've got great news for you: They look great sans bra.

8. At the end of the day, you don't have all those pressure lines.

Even the best bras can leave some uncomfortable marks on your skin — why not just skip 'em all together?

9. It feels just a little extra adventurous.

I'll be honest: Going without a bra sometimes translates to risking a "wardrobe malfunction," depending on what you wear it with. But hey, you only live once. You might as well feel extra alive every once in a while — and that breeze-plus-boobs combo will definitely help.

10. Going without a bra doesn't make your boobs "sag."

First of all, some breasts are naturally droopy. That's a fact, and it's fine. You don't need to be afraid of it! Second, there's this oft-repeated old wives' tale that if you don't wear a bra, your breasts will get lower and lower, but a 15-year French study actually concluded the opposite. In fact, the study found that women who went without bras developed more muscle tissue, allowing their bodies to support their breasts naturally. Thanks, science!

11. You remember that if something makes you uncomfortable, sometimes it's best to just skip it.

Obviously (and unfortunately) there are situations where people are going to judge you for what you wear. However, if you feel your most confident heading out to dinner or to the park without a bra, let yourself just go for it. And don't listen to anyone who says your breasts aren't the right shape, size or type to go bra-free.

12. Once you adjust to how it feels sans bra, it can feel seriously powerful.

Yes, really. Just trust me.

Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra

My mom's refusal to wear one used to embarrass me. Now I get it.

BY TONILYN HORNUNG

It used to embarrass me — my mom's refusal to wear a bra. I'm not sure why, really. It's not like she jogged her way through life forcing everyone to stare at her heaving chest, but as a teenager, I found her refusal mortifying. I'm sure a therapist would delve deeper into the reasons why this may have bothered me, saying something along the lines of, "Seeing your mother in any way womanly or sexualized made her seem like more of a real person than a mother," but to my basic teenage brain, it was simpler. Women wore bras. That's just what women did, and my mom was a woman, so she should wear her bra. But she did not. Now, as an adult, I think my mom might have been on to something.

There was a time I enjoyed buying frilly, lacy bras, and such. Walking into Victoria's Secret was a quiet thrill for this shy, little Catholic schoolgirl. I'm sure my husband would appreciate it if that thrill still existed in my world, but if I'm being honest, the last time I bought a bra was over three years ago. No, I have not decided to burn all my bras for some sort of political statement or because it was super cold this last winter. I haven't purchased a bra for a very good reason.

I wore a bra for two years straight.

The pregnancy books don't really tell a nervous mom-to-be all there is to know about Mom Boobs. Sure, the books go into fantastic detail about all sorts of other pregnancy issues, using scary words like "discharge" and phrases like "growing areolas." But I found that the majority of these helpful tomes forgot to mention that a pregnant lady's breasts can be so tender that putting on a bra, and then strapping them down with an Ace bandage, is the only way to walk up and down a flight of stairs comfortably. The bra (with the Ace bandage) became my best friend during my pregnancy.

I figured after I had the baby, my life and my boobs would achieve some sort of normalcy. I thought I'd be home free, but then I started nursing my baby. Again, I needed a bra to support my milkshakes — but this time it was a nursing bra. These contraptions are slightly more comfortable than a real bra but unlike a normal bra, they open in the front for a little quick air conditioning on a hot summer day. Still, though, trying to sleep without "The Girls" contained was as uncomfortable as sleeping on two actual cartons of milk. So I wore a bra during my pregnancy and while breastfeeding — day and night for two years. (I did take it off to shower.)

Now I require freedom!

At most, a passerby might see me in a sports bra just to keep "The Girls" from roaming all over the place, but I can't stand wearing a real bra anymore. They feel tight and constrictive. I have earned the right to feel my "Girls" flop against my stomach as I sit, but more important, I've discovered my mother's secret: Bras are uncomfortable.

Perhaps one day I will come around and prefer a little lace and wire help hike up my puppies, versus the power of gravity, but for now, I like my freedom. And maybe if I actually used the Victoria's Secret gift card my husband bought for me last Valentine's Day, I might discover bras have evolved over the last several years to where it feels like a person is wearing nothing. But I have a better idea. Why not actually wear nothing?

Oh god! 10 years from now, what will my teen daughter say about my free puppies?

By Tonilyn HornunG

My back pain Is Gone!

My horny hubby’s idea helped me deal with upper back pain.

By CQt Rose

Not wearing a bra... braless... letting the puppies (or kittens, in my case) play freely. Yes, when I went to the grocery store this morning, I didn't bother strapping the girls into anything that would restrict their natural movement. Shopping at the mall? Nope. Church last Sunday? Sorry, that was me swaying completely to the music. (Oh, get over it. Do you really think Mary, mother of Jesus, wore a bra? I rest my case.) Shirts versus skins amateur basketball tournament? Dang, I was benched before that decision had to be made.

Looking back, I can see how naive and silly I was fifteen years ago. I can also remember the real reason I rarely confine my chest into some modern day instrument of Puritanism.

It was the turn of the century (the year 2000, for the calendar deficient). Between the stress of work, my husband launching his own business, and a move from my beloved home to a big city, everything was crashing down on me. The end result was headaches, upper back pain, and a miserable me.

I suffered through it for almost six months before that fateful day my husband came to me with a bewildering question: would I be willing to try going without a bra for a month to see if it helped my maladies.

Fifteen years ago, prior to that moment, before six months of increasingly excruciating pain, I wouldn't be caught dead without a bra. I even slept in a sports bra.

My hubby is a curious sort and loves research. He had been looking for anything we hadn't tried to help my upper thoracic(back)/lower cervical(neck) spasms, which were the likely source of my recurrent head aches. Low-and-behold, an unpublished work by a couple of orthopedic surgeons in England reported an unusual finding.

Women scheduled for surgery due to neck and upper back pain, when asked to go without the 'benefit' of a bra during pre-surgical preparations, often noted reduced symptoms, even before their actual surgery.

Discussing things, the dynamic-doctor-duo started to consider the bio-mechanics of the brassiere.

They noted that those nasty things were distributing weight from the front of the chest, up over the shoulders, crossing directly over the thoracic-cervical spinal transition zone and associated parts: muscles, joints, spine. Everything was potentially affected, even resting posture. That shoulder-to-shoulder boulder holder was intentionally moving structural stress onto the upper back and lower neck. It couldn't really be that simple, could it?

Obviously, the bra was made by a group of men to help women, right? Nope. The brassiere was made to keep the God-fearing menfolk focused on their jobs and proper etiquette. Why bother retraining a man when you could more easily torture a non-voting woman. Rapidly the freedom of movement was replaced by the proper brassiere, corset, and other torment devices. All to keep evil women from flaunting their apple-eating harlot bodies, and thus deliberately forcing men to have improper thoughts. Heaven knows, no righteous guy would ever have an improper thought if not directly lured by a woman... at least not more than six a minute. (Yes, I know, that study was flawed, but it's still very funny.)

With the passing of time, this original reason for the invention of the bra has been lost. Most people incorrectly think it was made to help women by supporting the breast and to prevent sagging. Not really truth in advertising is it? Yet look what gender is running the ad campaign to promote another piece of lingerie to be added to a woman's "essential" wardrobe.

Knowing it's not to support the breast tissue, why not consider asking women, while on the waiting list for surgery, to 'go natural' for a month. I'm sure our good doctors spun it as "in preparation for surgery" instead of "because we're beady-eyed sex fiends that want to see bouncing boobies everywhere!" (Cue up "Bounce Your Boobies" by Rusty Warren.)

For their study, they evaluated pain scores, mobility, headache frequency, and any other data point they could find (I'm sure the doctors' wives nixed the nipple diameter and 'cup-ability' of the-breast-in-hand aspects of the study, but being boys first, scientists second, I bet it was on their original study outline).

Interesting trial for the patient, not so good for surgical income because a significant portion of the women who went braless improved enough not to need surgery. Back pain? Gone. Neck pain? Nada. Headaches? "Dammit, Jim, bring that one back or I'm gonna have to start putting out!"

Returning to my own painful situation, facing my husband's puppy-dog eyes begging me to try, I bit the bullet. I bit my lip. I did a hundred hail Mary's that first day, asking forgiveness for my sin. I left the bra off.

The following morning, I got reminded not to put it on.

"But it's not working," I whine to my scientist.

"It's been eleven hours," he says.

"Yes! And it's not working!" I emphasize, since he seems to want to prove my point.

"How long have you been in pain?"

"Four months."

"Half a year, sorry. Nice try. Next contestant," Doctor Smarty-Pants says.

"So? It's not working," I grumble.

"So I get half a day to fix a problem spawning, growing, consuming you for six months? The study said four to six weeks."

"But people will see!"

"You mean under your T-shirt, button-up, sweat shirt, and... please! A scarf? It's spring, at least lose the scarf."

I reluctantly put down the bra, leaving all the other clothes on, thankful it was my day off. No freaking way I was going to work without a bra.

Little did I know just how adamant my belligerent husband could be in some instances.

The next day is much easier. Much fucking easier because, "Where the hell are all my bras?" I snarl.

He swallows with a deer-in-headlight look. Not a good sign before I've had my breakfast. He bolts for the door.

"Stop! Man-up!" I yell at his retreating back.

He turns back toward me when at a safe distance, "That's cowboy up, to you, sweetie! Free Willie!" and he pumps his fist in the air before hastening to finish his escape.

By the end of the second week, I'm woman enough to admit, I was having fewer headaches. My neck still ached like a son-of-a, but I swear, Aspirin and I were no longer having an intimate relationship. Of course, neither were my husband and I, but that's not necessarily out of the ordinary.

Finishing the third week, he had grown a set and returned to our bed, sleeping uneasily as I occasionally sang the 'Bobbit' song. I wasn't going to mention my neck pain was reduced by more than half. Let him sweat a little more.

End of the first month? I wanted my brassieres back, but only for special occasions. Like when I go out in public. When I get up in the morning. When I go to bed at night. You wouldn't take Linus' security blanket away, would you? Unfortunately, my husband would... the bastard.

Start of week five. I had to start being honest with him, because he'd hidden a small fortune in lingerie. My neck and upper back were almost completely pain free. I hadn't had a headache for almost ten days. My boobs didn't hurt. They weren't even hitting my knees... yet.

Ladies? Here's a special hint: don't marry a scientist. Not only will they try to support everything with fact, plus at least two references, but everything becomes a classic study where a single result means nothing.

"Ok, you tried our little test. You can have them all back," he smiles, returning the stack of my clothing. He earns himself a blow job. (Oh, as if you've never been so happy to get your way you don't go a little crazy.)

Little did I know, his devious man-mind was still at work. Two weeks later, I make the mistake of dumping out three aspirin onto my plate at breakfast.

"Headache, huh?"

"No shit, Sherlock, who gave you the first clue?" I glare at him, daring him to mention labeled dose.

"You want me to rub your shoulders?"

Never trust a guy volunteering to give you a back rub. He wants something. Or, in my case, he's about to prove something I don't want to really hear.

"Sure," I say, somewhat dejectedly into my toast and pills.

His hands gently start at my shoulders, then in toward my lower neck...

"Holy mother of... stop! Ow! Stop!"

"Oh, sorry. Neck pain?"

"Yes, Einstein, and shoulder tenseness, and..."

Flick. Where the fuck do guys learn to do that? I didn't even have time to flinch, let alone stop to realize what he was doing reaching behind my back again. My girls drop two inches.

"Fucker."

"Thank you. We're starting braless study, phase three now. I trust you can have your bras and use them responsibly? Only in dire emergency? Like you've got an audience with the Pope?"

"Fucker." Only this time, it's said in that tone that means I've given up. Dammit, the stupid Y chromosome-holding genetic freak now held all the cards. {Funny, I never realized how much I could swear when in pain. The good news is that scientific studies show cursing increases your pain tolerance - cuss away.}

"Thank you. You want help taking it the rest of the way off?"

Stupid-ass puppy-dog eyes. God I love him. No matter how hard he makes it.

It only takes three weeks this time. Completely pain free. Last aspirin almost the day after our showdown. I wore a bra less than seven hours over that period of time, and only because it was summer now, and it's too hot to keep wearing a sweatshirt every time I go out.

Then a not-so-funny thing happens. We're out and I've worn just a T-shirt and a huge baggy sweatshirt with jeans. It's hot. I was going to pass out.

"Take off your sweatshirt, silly!"

"I don't have on a bra, dipstick!"

"Sorry, I forgot. Everyone looks at you. You're the center of the universe."

"Stop being an ass, I'm dying of heat."

"You think anyone really gives a flying flip about what you are or aren't wearing? I'll help you watch for the first leery-eyed bastard that looks your way. You get 'that' look, we're out of here. If you don't get that look, you accept it: unfortunately, you're just not that important... just like me. People are in their own worlds and they never see the world around them. Take your freedom and live it."

Stupid revolutionary scientists.

I hate to admit it, but I didn't burst into flames that day not wearing one out in public. Except for the rare occasion, it didn't seem like anyone ever noticed. In fact, until much more recently when I started wearing the thinner, lace-and-sheer tops as I grew more confident and comfortable with my body, did I ever notice anyone taking a second look at me.

It's amazing, not only am I still married to the scientist, but my girls get to roam free everywhere we go. Though I still enjoy a good massage today, it's not needed for neck and upper back pain.

If you or someone you love has upper back pain, neck discomfort, shoulder tenseness, or headaches, it's an easy experiment to try on your own (at least if you're female or a bra-wearing guy). There's no serious significant side-effects and you might be surprised at the amount of mental freedom you feel.

So in answer to, "Uh, excuse me miss, but you have a very nice, uh, natural movement to you when you walk. You aren't, uh, you're not..."

"You bet, buck-o. I'm not wearing a bra! And I'm loving it!"

Another woman concurred.

Great therapy idea.

There are various reasons why some women never go braless but a big reason is insecurity about their shape, thinking their breasts are too small or too big or especially if they think they are too saggy.

A group of neighborhood wives that discovered the benefits of going bra-free, in conjunction with also discovering that their supposed "imperfections" are actually attributes. It came about at a neighborhood walking group, one June evening.

One of the wives revealed that her bras cause her pain and that she goes braless at home to get relief, but is too self-conscious to do it away from home. Another confesses that her doctor told her to avoid bras for the same reason and the three other wives all admit that they hate their bras but feel compelled to wear them, even around their neighborhood friends.

The gals dared each other to leave their bras home at a future walk. The next evening at that next walking group, the wives were talking about their insecurities about their breast shape/size. to dress "conspicuously braless". The ladies eventually decide that during the next night’s walk, as therapy, they will be braless, & forced to learn that their size/shape is OK.

At that next night’s walking group, the women finally were all braless, and loved it. Within a couple weeks, they thought nothing of it, and when the older Anderson couple in the neighborhood started walking with them, the ladies were not bothered at all about Mr. Anderson.

By August, the neighborhood summer barbecues were also mostly braless, & the wives often showed up wearing either tube-tops, bikini tops, or went bra-less under tank-tops, in the 90 degree heat.

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