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hot-and-confused · 3 months
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petition for men to bring back all that slutty 1970’s gold jewelry
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hot-and-confused · 4 months
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the feminine urge to call all your guy friends ‘good boy’ just for the fun of it
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hot-and-confused · 7 months
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WHEN BOYS HAVE LITTLE KID MANNERISMS I DIE INSIDE ITS SO GOSH DARN CUTE LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE A TWENTY YEAR OLD MAN AND YOU RUB YOUR EYES LIKE A SLEEPY BABY STOP YOURE SO CUTE 🫠🫠🫠
OR JUST GET SLEEPY IN GENERAL LIKE BRO IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK UR SO CUTE
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hot-and-confused · 7 months
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gosh i just love it when men wear polos & button up shirts instead of just boring tshirts !
it’s my favorite <3
it has that strange otherworldly power to make mediumly attractive men extra good looking
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hot-and-confused · 7 months
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you tell a kid theyre an old soul and ten years later theyre on tumblr dotcom posting about being just like george costanza
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hot-and-confused · 9 months
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The 3 genders are literally princess, slut and loser
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hot-and-confused · 10 months
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real
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Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig
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hot-and-confused · 10 months
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posted this oneshot on wattpad a bit ago and figured i could post it here too lmao
moment’s over - peter quill
loren stood leaning against the doorway of the cockpit of the milano, clad in a tiny black tank top and dark blue cotton shorts. she watched peter for a moment as he lounged in the captain’s chair, singing to himself and playing on groot's gameboy, assuming no one was around.
the rest of the guardians were out for the day, stocking up on random things for their travels. peter had opted to stay behind, needing some peace and quiet, as well as a break from drax's sad attempts at metaphors.
loren had slept late, and peter assumed she had gone with the rest, which was why he was shamelessly singing along to one of his awesome mixtapes.
his burgundy leather jacket had been forgotten that day, and he opted for a simple black t-shirt and some green tacsuit pants.
the way his shirt sleeves strained against his biceps and his pants hugged his thighs as he manspread was truly distracting, and loren tried to shake off the way her pulse raced.
the game over sound played from the gameboy, and peter spewed profanities, flailing about in his chair.
loren snickered, and peter finally noticed her presence, eyes nearly bulging out of his face when he saw her.
his frustration and surprise were wiped from his face, a smirk and a cocky look in his eyes replacing it. he shamelessly let his eyes wander, slowly dragging them down and back up her body.
"perv." she muttered under her breath as she strode over to him, pushing his face to look away from her bare skin and grabbing the gameboy from his large hands.
peter turned his head back as quick as she had pushed it away, one of his hands sliding over to pinch her thigh, right inside the hem of her pathetic excuse for shorts.
she slapped his hand away, finishing the level and dropping it back into his lap, turning to walk away.
he reached out and grabbed her wrist, and she stopped, turning to look at him incredulously.
"what is it dickwad?" she asked, a smirk playing on her lips, glancing down to where he held her wrist.
"dance with me." he said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world.
"no," she laughed, her nose crinkling and dimples forming in her cheeks.
"why not? you love this song," peter asked, nodding towards the huge speakers, as come and get your love started to play. it was true, it was her favorite of the mixtape.
"because of gamora," loren shrugged as if it was obvious, wriggling her hand out of his grasp.
"what about gamora?" peter questioned, a confused look on his face.
"i don't know, whatever you two have going on, whatever will they won't they bullshit." she said impassively.
"lo," peter started, voice low and raspy in the back of his throat. he shook his head as a deep crease formed between his brows.
"don't 'lo' me, peter quill, i'm not blind. even drax can see it, and he misses everything." loren huffed.
"you must be, if you think gamora and i have anything going on." he mused under his breath, and she almost missed it.
"what was that?" loren asked.
"i said you're blind." peter stated simply, turning back to his game with a dismissive shrug.
"whatever." she huffed, spinning on her heel and stalking out of the cockpit, back to her room.
she flopped onto her bed and grabbed her phone, pulling her headphones out from the drawer of her nightstand. she put them on her head, falling back onto the pillows and turning on some music.
she sat there for a while, thinking of nothing in particular, just listening and moving around on her bed probably a hundred times.
maybe an hour later, loren was halfway sitting up against her headboard, nestled right in the center of her bed, music loud enough to drown out anything and everything.
sweet child o' mine blasted into her ears, and she stared at the door of her room. as if on cue, it swung open a few inches, and a mess of curly brown hair poked through the gap, followed by the rest of peter's face.
loren pulled off her headphones reluctantly, looking at him expectantly.
"ever heard of this new thing called knocking?" she asked, a look of sheer indifference on her face as she examined her nails.
"i did knock. like three times." peter retorted, but caught himself before he could say anything else too snarky.
loren pressed her lips into a line, watching him stand in her doorway. she raised her brows questioningly, as if to ask if there was anything else he needed.
"there's nothing going on between me and gamora." peter stated, voice low and softer than she had ever heard it. she liked it. "will ya dance with me now?" he asked, a cheeky grin playing on his lips.
"why?" loren asked. "don't we hate each other?" hate may have been a strong word, but it did the job. peter and loren had always fought, it was just the way they were. it didn't matter that they liked each other, they still squabbled like children every time they interacted.
he would always smirk coyly at her, checking her out and muttering some innuendo under his breath. she would roll her eyes and bully him right back. it didn't even cease when they were alone. their sexual tension did skyrocket though.
he would shamelessly stare and flirt, pinching her thigh and touching her however he could. for the most part, it didn't bother her that much, it was playful and they both knew it. but it did annoy her to no avail sometimes.
he would purposely hover around her whenever she was working on something, breathing down her neck. she'd swat his mischievous hands away from her project, and he'd whine in her ear, trying to get a rise out of her.
but she never gave him the satisfaction. he was never aware of the way it made a chill run down her spine when he would trap her in a corner, pretending to be distracted by something else and not notice her trying to get out. when he would finally get out of her way, he would always scoot back or turn to the side so that she would have to brush against his front to get out. he'd rest a large hand on her lower back, guiding her to squeeze against his body and the wall.
"i don't hate you," peter's cheeky grin dropped to a pout, and his gaze became like that of a lost puppy.
"not hate, but like..." she searched for the word, "really enjoy annoying each other?"
"well yeah, but it's all in good fun, right?"
loren shrugged, "i guess." she muttered.
"but you seriously don't like gamora?" she asked quickly, her brows knitting together.
"lo," he whined, shaking his head. "c'mon would you drop that already? no. there's nothing going on between me and gamora. we're barely friends, reluctant coworkers at best." peter insisted.
loren stayed quiet, her green eyes falling to her comforter. she felt bad. and blind.
"m'sorry. i was mean. i don't hate you, i don't think i ever could." she muttered, glancing up at him through thick lashes, only to find him staring right into her eyes.
"you're forgiven. how about that dance now?" peter said, his coy smirk coming back as he held out his hand expectantly.
"you're very determined, i've gotta hand it to you." loren huffed, but the easy smile on her face made it unserious. she crawled across her bed, taking his calloused hand.
he pulled her close in one swift move, snaking his arms around her waist and holding her close against his body. she rested her arms on his broad shoulders, hesitantly looking up at him.
he was already gazing down at her, the look in his eyes soft and comforting.
his walkman sat on his hip, pressing into her side, but she didn't care too much. his headphones sat around his neck, the volume turned up high so they could both hear.
fooled around and fell in love played from the tinny speakers of his old headphones, but loren thought it made the song all the more charming.
loren looked up at him, only to find him watching her intently. she kept her cool, only allowing a coy smirk to tug at the corner of her lips.
his eyes drifted down, carefully eyeing the hills of her breasts from where they sat in her tiny, cropped tank top.
"eyes are up here." she teased, voice low and singsongy.
"can you blame me? also, don't act like you're so innocent. i see the way you stare at me, wishing you could touch." peter retorted, eyes coming back to meet hers.
she raised her brows, a little taken aback, but chuckled nonetheless.
"you can touch, i know you want to." he lilted, a sly smirk tugging at his lips.
"i want no such thing." she mused sarcastically, shaking her head dramatically with a roll of her eyes.
"what if i want you to?" peter suggested, nodding his head.
"what about what i want?" loren whispered, stuck in a trance that she didn't want out of.
"what do you want?" he muttered, voice low and raspy, just the way she liked it.
"i'm not sure, but i like this," she shrugged.
"like dancing or like me?" peter asked cheekily.
"both," she muttered, utterly transfixed on him.
"i am pretty awesome, aren't i?"
loren rolled her eyes, suppressing a groan. "ruining the moment here star-dork." she muttered, mocking his self-imposed moniker.
"we're having a moment?"
"not anymore. it's over." she muttered, her tone was annoyed but her gaze remained the same.
"damn." he whispered, staring at her lips.
the song had ended a few minutes ago, but they stayed, swaying back and forth in silence, transfixed on each other.
"fuck this." loren huffed, grabbing his scruffy face and pulling him down to kiss her.
peter's grip tightened on her waist, and he kissed her with a fiery passion. one that made up for every annoying remark or time he stole her stuff.
after some time, he pulled back, desperately needing air.
"gamora is gonna kill me." peter heaved.
"what? who cares about gamora? i'm gonna kill you!" she huffed, shoving his chest.
"no, lo that's not what i meant," he groaned, grabbing her wrists.
"explain yourself."
"i meant, gamora is going to kill me when she finds out. for months she's been warning me not to use my... how did she put it? uh, manwhorish ways on you, and scare away her only female friend." peter explained, rolling his eyes at gamora's insulting but true assessment.
"oh," loren muttered sheepishly, her brows knitting together. "sorry."
"s'okay." he murmured, hooking a finger under her chin to kiss her.
she sighed dreamily into his mouth, biting down softly on his bottom lip, waiting for a reaction. he let out a soft moan, fingers squeezing her hips.
he backed her onto her bed, laughing when the back of her knees hit it and she fell backwards with a squeal. she scooted over to the headboard, beckoning him over with a nod.
he sat up against the upholstered headboard, smiling slyly when she straddled his lap, kissing him intently.
a few hours later, loren and peter laid bare on her bed, tangled in bedsheets and snoring softly. loren was next to the edge of the bed, laying on her stomach. one arm dangled off the mattress, with her curtain of long, dark brown hair hanging next to it.
peter was also laying on his stomach, with a heavy arm thrown over her bare back. he snored quietly, positively spent.
the door to loren's room was gently pushed open a few inches, and groot waddled in, missing his pseudo mom.
the baby sequoia tugged on her finger, to which she pulled back, not waking up. he wrapped a tiny hand around a strand of her hair, and she groggily lifted her head.
she opened her eyes blearily, scooping him up in her palm and lifting him to his spot on one of the euro pillows that sat between the headboard and her sleeping pillows.
peter unconsciously tugged her closer, and she happily complied, lifting his arm to snuggle herself close under his chest.
a little while later, gamora was walking through the hall to her room, seeing loren's door cracked open, soft yellow lamplight flooding through the gap.
she peeked through the gap, wanting to say hi to her friend if she was still awake, not prepared to see her naked under peter. thankfully, all was covered, but she still grimaced a tiny bit.
she rolled her eyes, biting back a smile upon seeing groot fast asleep on the pillow above them.
she closed the door quietly, giving them their privacy. she knew drax and rocket would never let them hear the end of it, so she let them have the rest of the night.
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hot-and-confused · 10 months
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WHERE ARE THE NATE ARCHIBALD FICS HES MY BABYGIRL
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hot-and-confused · 11 months
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seeing hayden on the press tour with his anakin hair and darth vader fit just makes me think of that one post about how in an alternate universe, leia and luke’s biggest problem would be that their dad was a dilf
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hot-and-confused · 11 months
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mullet obi-wan kenobi is the best thing in this world
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hot-and-confused · 11 months
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First base is beating the shit out of each other second base is having a civil conversation
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hot-and-confused · 1 year
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i was thinking that people don’t appreciate how overwhelmingly funny the death star getting blown up is; i mean, you know, on some level, this is just some teenager from space alabama who grew up shooting cans with a shotgun going, “yeah, you want me to attack the biggest military base in space history with absolutely no piloting-in-space experience? i can do that.” like back in space alabama luke flew the equivalent of a crop duster, maybe, but then the rebellion’s like this kid we met two hours ago, we need to put him in a fighter. luke has absolutely no hours piloting a fighter in space before this, and then he succeeds because he’s got magic powers, and the voices told him to. what is probably the most overwhelmingly enormous military base ever built in space with the most extreme firepower ever amassed in space loses in a fight to a guy who had less flight time than a fresh soviet pilot in WWII, this is already the funniest military victory in pop fiction, bar none.
but then you go to how luke wins, aside from the magic powers and the voices in his head; he convinces the local weed guy to get into armed conflict with the military, and the local weed guy shows up in the space equivalent of a VW bus that has a gun duct taped to it, and this is the rig that manages to shoot down darth vader. i should say that by this point in star wars, darth vader has been fighting in war since he was nineteen, and the first time he flew a fighter was when he was nine, he’s widely renowned not only as one of the best pilots in the galaxy, but also as one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy period, like if you let him loose on a battlefield everyone probably just sort of hangs back and lets him massacre everyone. because honestly they’re really just accessories in this. things like “air support” or “artillery” or even “other people with guns” aren’t super necessary because vader’s got the magic powers, the voices in his head, and also a sword that kills people, you know? definitely a couple imperial victories boil down to, “we just told vader to go to work, and then we found a mountain of bodies afterwards.” and this is the guy who gets creamed by a VW bus plus gun. han and chewie fucking scooby and shaggy his ass, and in legends vader ate shit so hard he spiraled out of control, crashed on a planet in the middle of nowhere, and promptly went kind of crazy and decided to slum it with - and i shit you not - a pack of literal space hyenas, who adopted him as their king. he then became the only fucking survivor of the entire ordeal. we really don’t appreciate how fucking funny this is.
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hot-and-confused · 1 year
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*intro to do i wanna know starts playing*
nobody:
me:
have u ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle by ur girlfriend bc she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad ?? well that’s how it feels to drive a ford f250
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hot-and-confused · 1 year
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"fuck you my child is fine"
your child is taking online quizzes from strangers to get the validation and answers they so desperately need
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hot-and-confused · 1 year
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hot-and-confused · 1 year
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Guy who hears about any career and says “oh like Barbie”
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