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honeybelladonna · 2 days
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Its the same cycle again. I don't like you. I'm insecure. Get away from me. I hate you.
You are too familiar. Stop.
I already know. Get away from me. Get away from me. Get the fuck away from me.
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honeybelladonna · 9 days
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Is this what i settle for?
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honeybelladonna · 11 days
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I'm relieved. Let's be good friends.
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honeybelladonna · 11 days
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sometimes i want to embody a whisper. soft. gentle.
but sometimes i feel so much anger. fear.
I don't want this anymore.
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honeybelladonna · 12 days
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I'm fragile. It's funny though. I'll be told how much I suck at the game by Sloth and i'll laugh and continue to play. I know it's in good faith. Is that the difference? When she yells and gets angry and slams things , it scares me. It really does. Anger scares me.
I appreciate that pine and sloth do not rage. I don't think i'd be able to handle it. Pine is nice. He's fun to be around. Especially when he's high. He just lets go and says all sorts of things. I love how easy going and gentle he is. Sloth is nice too, in his own silly ways. He's real funny too. Tahln is nice too. I'm coming around to him.
...
Part of me felt relieved to hear that specific answer. Most of me felt relieved actually. Especially seeing that he will still be nice to me and be friendly. I felt like I wasn't just a sextoy. I felt like I was someone , a friend, a person , not just someone to be lusted after. It felt nice. I like it.
The praise still feels nice too. It's like a warm hug.
Is this the cure?
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honeybelladonna · 18 days
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I find it funny how you think its brave of me to go to college right after school. I find it brave of you to take time off. I'd love to be able to rest for a while before jumping into college. It's so overwhelming. Funny, isn't it?
I'm fond of you . It's hard to not let the past eat me up. My memories tell me to be cautious. I think you're cool.
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honeybelladonna · 19 days
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Im only good for sex.
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honeybelladonna · 19 days
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sometimes looking at the dumb sexual stuff that's said about me makes me feel better.
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honeybelladonna · 19 days
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The worst part about me is how hard i love
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honeybelladonna · 19 days
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It's starting to affect me physically.
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honeybelladonna · 19 days
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please sexualize me so I feel loved
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honeybelladonna · 20 days
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I hope they did not suffer. I hope they can rest in peace. I hope their families are ok. I know they won't be. But I hope they can get the strength to carry on. It's so unreal.
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honeybelladonna · 20 days
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What even is this? It feels like borderline polyamory. He knows our relationship issues. They help us with it. They always come up in conversation. What is this anymore
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honeybelladonna · 20 days
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I can hear the machinery beeping, I assume the machine is removing the car from the scene. I only heard it. But i still feel disheveled. Uneasy. Everything just goes on and continues. It's a terrifying feeling. Could it really happen to anyone?
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honeybelladonna · 21 days
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I wish i was enough for someone.
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honeybelladonna · 21 days
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I wish i was special.
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honeybelladonna · 22 days
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I have lots of love. But i don't know how to show it. It's quite bad.
I wish I was normal.
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