constant mood

this is one of my favorite facts i’ve found on wikipedia

"me against the world" -- Charles Bukowski

when I was a kid one of the questions asked was, would you rather eat a bucket of shit or drink a bucket of piss? I thought that was easy. "that's easy," I said, "I'll take the piss." "maybe we'll make you do both," they told me. I was the new kid in the neighborhood. "oh yeah," I said. "yeah!" they said. there were 4 of them. "yeah," I said, "you and whose army?" "we won't need no army," the biggest one said. I slammed my fist into his stomach. then all 5 of us were down on the ground fighting. they got in each other's way but there were still too many of them. I broke free and started running. "sissy! sissy!" they yelled. "going home to mama?" I kept running. they were right. I ran all the way to my house, up the driveway and onto the porch and into the house where my father was beating my mother. she was screaming. things were broken on the floor. I charged my father and started swinging. I reached up but he was too tall, all I could hit were his legs. then there was a flash of red and purple and green and I was on the floor. "you little prick!" my father said, "you stay out of this!" "don't you hit my boy!" my mother screamed. but I felt good because my father was no longer hitting my mother. to make sure, I got up and charged him again, swinging. there was another flash of colors and I was on the floor again. when I got up again my father was sitting in one chair and my mother was sitting in another chair and they both just sat there looking at me. I walked down the hall and into my bedroom and sat on the bed. I listened to make sure there weren't any more sounds of beating or screaming out there. there weren't. then I didn't know what to do. it wasn't any good outside and it wasn't any good inside. so I just sat there. then I saw a spider making a web in the window. I found a match, walked over, lit it and burned the spider. then I felt better. much better.

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