requested by blasquezza

The other day I politely returned the question “how are you doing?” at a driver who asked the same of me, and he replied “oh, you know, same soup just reheated” and I can’t stop thinking about that

i miss the days when people would discreetly cough blood into their handkerchiefs instead of everyone always trying to be this season’s Little Miss Tuberculosis

so apparently when my sister and i were little we took golfing classes and we got kicked out after a week. the reason being that the old white male instructor kept calling my 4 year old sister Maria “Mary” after she told him several times that her name is pronounced Maria. anyway, at one point, he tells her “well, that doesn’t matter anymore. you’re in America now.” and that distressed my sister so much that she hit him with her golf club.

that’s not what did the damage, though. what fucked that old dude up is that i saw my sister hit him from where i was standing and i ran over and started beating him with MY golf club. my mom says that i didn’t know what the hell was happening, but i squared up.

that’s why we got kicked out.

Why are you doing this?

tumblr discourse is like three steps away from people putting their SAT scores in their bio and using that as a way of deciding whose opinions are most correct

me standing inside a bank screaming: MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE