The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

ULTRALORE

im not a very patriotic woman but i nonetheless whole-heartedly support every drive-through employee’s constitutional right to be blazed out of their fuckin gourd

I made a donkey character. I think I'm gonna name him Duncan

"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

additional sketch under cut

feeling them summer vibes finally!!!! putting mirage in my own summer clothes dressing her up like a doll

"womanizer" is one of those words that should mean something other than what it does.

example "i'm a womanizer. i see a guy and i womanize him."

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You can’t let this stupid ass evil world rob you of your vibe don’t let them do that to u

Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns

i wish larry david had starred in an episode of breaking bad as skyler's uncle from out of town who comes to stay with the whites for a weekend. he gives walter his pencil, but walter leaves it at gus's meth lab, so when larry asks for his pencil back walter tells him he lost it. larry becomes convinced that walter is lying in order to keep the pencil for himself (it's a normal pencil) so he decides to follow walt when he leaves the house. walt goes to jesse's place. after he leaves, jesse sees larry in his yard hiding behind a tree and tells mike some old dude is watching his house. mike starts tailing larry. larry sees one of saul's billboards and wonders if he can sue walt for theft. he goes to saul's office but quickly begins to suspect saul isn't actually jewish, so he starts using made-up, yiddish-sounding words to make him give away the game. saul doesn't fall for it. larry's approach becomes increasingly less subtle until he accuses saul of being "a fake jew and probably a fake lawyer". they get into a slap fight. mike kicks down the door and puts larry in a submission hold. questioned by mike, larry declares he just wants his pencil back from his niece's husband. he calls walt over to confirm his story. walt arrives and is thoroughly perplexed to see his wife's terrible uncle hanging out with saul and mike. mike and saul are equally perplexed to see walt come pick up this terrible old man. larry remembers he has another pencil in his suitcase.

Deitypunch unalive or some shit

this is still the funniest stock photo product image ive ever seen