I’m so disgusted in myself the first thing I think about when I meet new people is their weight and I hate it the only person who has a disgusting body is me everyone else is beautiful

Unless you’ve experienced an eating disorder first hand, you have no freaking clue the amount of torture that is endured. It’s not chic messy buns, trendy black coffee, and politely saying “no” to a slice of pizza. It’s shaking hands from malnourishment, crying at the thought of eating a meal in front of another human being, and watching your hair fall out in clumps because bulimia has stripped you of everything from your nutrients to the long locks everyone once adored and complimented you on. You start seeing the world through fuzzy, hollowed eyes and nothing makes sense anymore. You completely lose who you are and you’re fighting a war against yourself where losing is winning and being sick feels like an accomplishment. 

ugh😩😩

What a ho ho horrible year

Body check

BMI 16.4

If only my weight could be as low as my motivation