sorry for the inactiveness, i've been more interested in rping over on discord as of late. i'm doing fine, i just don't have the energy for the rpc currently and want to focus more on schoolwork and friends. i'll eventually come back and rework @wisteriaorchids, but for now, consider this a hiatus notice. i will gladly add ppl who want to talk to me on discord but that's about as much as i'm gonna do.

AAAAAAAAAAA I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO INACTIVE.

it's been one of those long few months where i'm exhausted 24/7 and only have energy to do homework and then watch youtube or read a book. i'm so so so sorry for just dropping out and i will try my best to be active here soon.

he may try to hide it, but the younger could tell  ( maybe )  when he needed a break.  or, it was just an excuse to talk to him with no one else around.  coffee shops were their favorite, and this one in particular always had their favorite sweets.  izumi has already ordered their treat and caffeine of choice when @soulsballad orders his coffee –  plain, black coffee… bleh  – before the waitress moves off to get their orders.  they’re gazing at the small menu they refused to give back, only glancing up when he asks his question.

don't you have any work you should be doing, izumi-san?

they pause, smiling a little bit too nervously before looking at him completely.

ㅤㅤ “ i have no idea what you’re talking about, nanami. ”  they look away, trying their best to avoid eye contact because he wasn’t wrong.  izumi was really bad at procrastinating, even more so when it was one of the higher ups trying to get them to do something in kyoto with one of the students,  “ i just wanted to get coffee with you.  is that illegal now?  i can’t get coffee with a friend? ”  they start to pout, bottom lip poking out as they try to see how he reacts.

@healingscars : small starter call !

❝ i'll take a black coffee, ❞ nanami informs the waitress while she takes their order. he's sat in a nice little coffee shop with izumi, who had been the one to reel him away from his responsibilities. he had tried to object, but found that saying no to people was more difficult than it used to be. plus, it wasn't like he had a mission or anything to do. he had just returned from one and was wanting to relax a bit. so this counted as that, right? either way, his attention turns to the man across from him while he crosses one leg over the other. ❝ don't you have any work you should be doing, izumi-san? ❞

GREAT NEWS EVERYONE. no, i had to reschedule my cardiologist / heart failure specialist appointment to next wednesday. i did, however, start on my medication ( it's for the heart, and the other is for my low blood pressure ). i'm feeling energized for once and will be writing replies. if i end up missing yours, please let me know and i'll add it to the drafts.

tokyo revenger artists, writers, cosplayers, and fans!

i've been wanting to start a server similar to the yakuza writing server, since i absolutely love the way we've built a community of writers and artists in the server. usual rules would apply to keep people safe and comfortable, such as not allowing inc/st, minor/adult, underage lewd, etc. if i get enough responses by the end of the 1 week period, i'll make the server. this is over on twitter as well.

update: we still don't know what's wrong save for the fact that it IS my heart. i'm going to a heart failure specialist this thursday to talk to them and get things ready, and i'm on week 1 of wearing a heart monitor. that being said, i would very much like to plot things with people who haven't had the chance to plot with me yet. please feel free to contact me through IMs and i'll try to get to them as soon as i can.

i know i owe replies on here and on @wisteriaorchids and i promise to get to things eventually. however, i'm in the middle of getting an OFFICIAL heart diagnosis. the nurse said it was myocarditis but i'm waiting until tomorrow, when i see the cardiologist, to figure out what needs to be done. my insurance isn't helping with the medication either, not yet at least, so i'm struggling. i really am sorry for the lack of replies.

THE SILLAYYYSSSSS!! ( art by Snapperoni )

i know i owe replies on here and on @wisteriaorchids and i promise to get to things eventually. however, i'm in the middle of getting an OFFICIAL heart diagnosis. the nurse said it was myocarditis but i'm waiting until tomorrow, when i see the cardiologist, to figure out what needs to be done. my insurance isn't helping with the medication either, not yet at least, so i'm struggling. i really am sorry for the lack of replies.

@𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒕𝒎 an inde multi muse featuring muses from percy jackson  & the olympians, the cruel prince & the raven cycle. written by ray est 2023. ✧

@sociieties sent a message ...

" smile, izumi-chan, " sanzu offers softly, suddenly throwing theirself in the space next to the other. empty, cotton candy blue eyes settle on literally anything else as they empty their shot glass, smooth, satisfied hum escaping them before gaze cuts towards the others. a beat, then another / sanzu raises a hand towards their own face, halfheartedly tracing a smile as if to reinforce what he's said to them mere seconds ago. " i don't bite. "

something about sanzu felt off –  not because of his loyalty to mikey  ( though that was also concerning )  nor the fact that he had bled into the background for so long before kanto manji was formed, but because there was this sense that he knew something.  a deep, hidden secret.  something that izumi would never be able to quite grasp.  maybe that was why sanzu was closer to mikey than they were.

i don’t bite.

a LIE, because they’ve heard the rumors and they’ve seen how far he’s willing to go to express his undying loyalty.  they may have been wielding a crowbar since entering kanto, but they’ve seen how that katana has been used.  they feel uncomfortable being this close to the other and their gaze tries to desperately search for hanma — only to realize they were the only two in the room.  did sanzu plan this?

ㅤㅤ “ … you didn’t get any for me? ”  pointed look at the now empty shot glass, ignoring that feeling of unease.  “ that’s a shame, i would have enjoyed having a shot if you did end up biting me. ”  a flirtatious remark despite the feeling of balancing on a tightrope, because anyone who knows SANZU knows that they’ll bite much harder than anyone else.  izumi shifts, pulling down the mask that usually covered their face to offer a smile.  just for them.

ㅤㅤ “ why was i dragged into this? i was just minding my own business. ”

Smash or pass Kazutora?

ㅤㅤ “ w - wait, wait, hold up. ” obviously trying desperately to figure a way out of this, but gives up half-way through. “ smash .. ? ” wait, no, didn't they say this was about fighting? “ wait, no, pass? i don't think i could fight kazutora. i guess it depends on if this is about fighting or not? ” cue a very confused noise from them.

Send me ❝I don’t like the way they’re looking at you ❞ for my muse’s reaction to yours saying this while feeling jealous/possessive.

ㅤㅤ “ — poor takemichi. ” he doesn't know. better him than izumi, at least.

i'm a very serious writer.

<— guy who takes weeks or even months to reply to something.

this is crazy.  insane, even.  you shouldn’t be doing this.

they stand there, fully expecting aimi to send them off or for her to run the other way  ( much like she had done when toman was still around ).  fidgeting, fingers twisting and knotting up the fabric of their sweater, having discarded kanto manji’s white uniform for now in case people assumed they were harassing her.  when she takes a few steps back, there’s something in the older than makes them panic –  she’s going to run, but you can’t chase her, don’t do that.

aimi stays put, however, and their body suddenly eases, albeit slowly.  she could run at any moment, she could tell them she never wanted to see them again, she could scream for help and they were sure someone would come rushing over to save her.  the pinkette had every right to, anyways, because who the hell corners someone like this and expects rationality?  the bags under their eyes has proved more than enough that they’ve spent endless nights thinking about how to talk to her, how to apologize, how to tell her that isamu had started this and —

but stay there.

body sags, though there’s some form of a voice that says to understand why.  they look away for a moment, trying to form a coherent thought or explanation.  

ㅤㅤ “ — he was being an asshole. ”  spoken plainly, matter-of-factly, with just a hint of urgency.  as if taking up too much time in silence will stop her from wanting to listen to them.  “ he said some stuff and i jumped him for it.  i … i don’t remember most of what happened, the memory is fuzzy. ”  and it sounds like they’re saying the truth, because izumi did actually end up blanking during most of the time they were beating down on her brother.  it was no excuse though, they knew that,  “ i –  i’m being honest, too.  i saw red and … ”  beat the shit out of your brother and broke his nose.  the masked delinquent shifts from one foot to the other, hands still at the front of their sweater and anxiously running their fingers against the fabric.

they haven’t felt this weird and anxious, save for when they were lying in the hospital bed after mikey nearly killed them and koko had passed the message that they were invited to the gang.  anything for survival.  “ you’ve mentioned him in passing before, he was getting on my nerves during our fight with … with toman.  he –  he needed someone to knock him down or something. ”  they weren’t an only child, they had two older brothers, but they had never really been active in their life.  “ but, after this … mitsuya told me that you guys made up. ”  not like they deserved an explanation, not when takemichi was in a coma because of mikey.  not when they refused to go against him when they were asked.  mitsuya still being the one willing to confront them still shocked them, but … they suppose he felt responsible, considering they had been in his division.

ㅤㅤ “ i’m sorry, aimi. ”  izumi’s voice cracks, eyes avoiding hers and instead moving elsewhere, anywhere so they wouldn’t have to see the look of disappointment.  you don’t deserve forgiveness.  you can’t even control your own emotions.  don’t be surprised if she wants nothing to do with you after this.

the rest of that night felt like a fever dream. from the look izumi had on their face before they turned tail and fled, to the police rushing to the scene and questioning everyone - to the trip to the hospital with isamu, where their father had to come up pick them both up. her father had gone on the beginnings of a rageful rant, about to be at the end of his tethers with the boy, but aimi had to explain it was not entirely his fault this time. isamu didn't throw the first punch, which was what was most important. so he got away with it, which the elder teen was grateful for.

a few days after the incident isamu explained what had happened, that he had bad-mouthed aimi ( in a way that was normal for the siblings, but perhaps not for everyone else, ) and that was when izumi leapt for him. he went on to further explain that he had suspected the masked delinquent had some sort of feelings for aimi, and he didn't want to see anything become of it. 'because of everything she's been through.' naturally, aimi did not believe him. but still, it didn't warrant a broken nose and badly bruised and beaten face.

every text that pinged to her phone was read anxiously and then dismissed, but often lingered on her mind for so long that it drove her crazy. so instead of overthinking everything she opted to go for walks in the evening when her thoughts ran a little bit too wild. during these said walks she had seen some people who were either friendly with izumi or were associated with them in some way, but she never thought much of it. until she's walking absentmindedly down the sidewalk, hands in the pockets of a jacket a bit too big for her, and sees the very person she is avoiding step out of the shadows and address her.

her body ceases moving entirely, and instead reels back a few steps out of fright. naturally, she goes tense and rigid, eyes fixating on the figure before her as she begins to process what is happening. there's barely any time to as they speak, the desperation in their voice and the look on their face looks more like the izumi aimi knows, not the one they saw last time. perhaps that's why she's not triggered into fight or flight, and she's edging more towards wanting to hear them out. especially now she knows isamu was being a smart-mouth.

hues cast downwards in momentary thought, sticking to their shoes before flickering back up. she gives a firm nod, but keeps her distance, and speaks up briefly. ❝ but stay there, ❞ it's spoken sternly, but the way her voice wavers indicates she's not as confident as she may seem. they deserve to explain themself, in fact, aimi wants to know what happened from their mouth. but it wasn't something she'd want to do over the phone or through texts, which was another reason for ignoring them. among other reasons.

there is a BIG difference between toman izumi and kanto manji gang izumi.

toman izumi still suffers from continuous SA from the hands of people their mother knows for the sake of contracts and popularity ( their mother will do anything to make sure izumi becomes famous ). they have an extreme touch aversion and assume the most innocent things will turn into assault because they've been pressured into things when it seemingly looked normal or innocent. they have anxiety, a terrible fight or flight response... but toman helps guide them into realizing that there's something there for them. izumi begins to find themself bit by bit. toman becomes the light at the end of an extremely terrifying dark tunnel.

the in-between of toman's disbandment and the joining kanto manji is when they're at their worst, because they are forcibly moved into an all girl's academy and has no one to really be there for them. they spiral and are basically taken apart and put back together to fit their mother's image. they're about 16 / 17 / 18 at this point and they've outright given up. izumi breaks when they encounter a teacher, who they admired, end up trying to take advantage of them. it's then that they realize that nothing will get better.

coming back after early graduation is... a whirlwind. they specifically go out of their way to encounter mikey and get sent to the hospital ( nearly being killed by him ), only to join kanto immediately after. they decide early on that they'll do anything to stay beside mikey ( chasing after that bit of happiness they felt while in toman, not realizing how bad and unhealthy it is to do so ), and ultimately cut ties with their family after stealing money from their mother. they do what they think they're best at, which is using their body to get what they want. again, 100% not healthy, but they do it in order to survive while trying to find a place to live. they're suggestive, just getting used to the flirtatious banter they would have otherwise ignored and fussed over as a kid. but they're also violent ( choice of weapon is a crowbar ) and tend to react poorly towards those who piss them off or just get on their nerves.

other than that, they soak up attention like a sponge. no amount of positive or negative attention will push them away, even if it results in getting beat up.