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hazmatblogs · 4 days
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Maestro: got some straight gas. this strain is called “the devil’s chord” you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw a drag queen come out of a piano
My buddy Paul McCartney pacing: I’ve got a dog, he’s called fred, my dog is alive, he’s not dead, I love my dog, he loves me too, I haven’t got a cat, only a dog, my dog my dog my dog my dog, I’ve got a dog, I love my dog, he’s my dog, he’s not your dog, if you want a dog, get your own
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hazmatblogs · 4 days
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Oh by the way Old High Gallifreyan canonically sounds like music, if you all care about that sort of thing. It sounds like a song of gibberish words. It sounds like a nursery rhyme
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hazmatblogs · 4 days
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Hey, I'm new to The DWEU, what are the looms?
LOOOOOOOOOOMS
What are the Looms???? The Basics
First, the Great Schism was an important event on early Gallifrey where Rassilon and his supporters and Pythia and her supported went to war. Pythia was defeated, but she cursed all of Gallifrey with sterility. Accounts differ on whether or not this included all Gallifreyans or if some could still reproduce sexually.
This posed a massive problem for the future of Gallifrey. The Great Houses used devices called Looms to churn out some new Gallifreyans.
Looms had a many chords in them as well as semiotic fluid. Individuals - often soaking wet - are yanked from the Looms by another Gallifreyan. Each chapterhouse has their own Loom. This makes Gallifreyans of the same House related to each other laterally (everyone is a cousin). Many of the loomed Gallifreyans are "born" in a fully grown adult body, but this is not always the case as we have heard about children and teenagers on Gallifrey.
Basically, imagine if a population had suddenly gone sterile. To perpetuate the species, an individual would have to create some sort of device the create the next generation (and the next and the next and the...). This is in essence what a Loom is for Gallifrey! Of course, there are a lot more details in EU lore, but I figured I'd drop some basics (rather then send an overwhelming wall of text).
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hazmatblogs · 4 days
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Me seeing people talking about time lords in a way that contradicts how I see them: it’s fine, this is fine, people can have their opinions, the opinions you have on them aren’t even actually canon anyways, it’s fine
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hazmatblogs · 4 days
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A Theory About the Doctor’s Species of Origin
So usually in NuWho, whenever anyone asks if they have a name other than “The Doctor” or “Doctor,” the Doctor replies something along the lines of “nope, just the Doctor.” However, Fifteen has broken that pattern: when Ruby asked him about that, he responded that “the species that took me in uses titles like [rattles off a bunch]. Use ‘The Doctor’ for a thousand years and that becomes your name.”
The thing about RTD’s writing is that you can sometimes tell when something has extra emphasis, like the thing about the Bees in Donna’s season. And the Doctor repeats this bit of information twice, once completely devoid of context, making absolutely certain that you understand that “Time Lords use titles.”
Who else uses titles? Specifically, who in this season is big on titles?
Well, the Pantheon.
The Toymaker. The Maestro.
Hell, in Classic Who, the Toymaker was originally supposed to be part of the Doctor’s as-yet-unnamed species before Michael Gough died and became unable to reprise the role. The Maestro even gives the Doctor another title! “The Lord Temporal.”
The Toymaker uses doors to step from one end of history to another. The Maestro uses pianos. In both cases, they’re bigger on the inside—doors to extradimensional spaces. What if it wasn’t just Regeneration the Time Lords engineered from the Timeless Child—what if it was all of their tech? What if that’s why nobody can reproduce TARDISes properly—it’s not science, it’s play?
Last bit of evidence: the Maestro is aware of the background music and the fourth wall. They open the episode by playing the Doctor Who theme, intentionally triggering the opening credits. The Doctor is the only other character so far who’s proven to be aware of the fourth wall (the Beethoven’s Fifth rant in Before the Flood, for example), to the point that he even mentions during The Devil’s Chord that he thought the background music was non-diegetic—as in, he can hear the background music. He knows he’s in a show.
The Doctor, the Lord Temporal, might very well be one of the Pantheon.
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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inspired by fifteen trying to say shit and getting censored by the nanny filter, here’s a complete table of every doctors who and whether or not they use strong language
1 - no
2 - yeah
3 - rarely, but accurately and directly, in a dignified and sarcastic fashion
4 - ABSOLUTELY all the time. the tardis filter barely copes. we’ve all seen the K-9 clip, that’s what the character sounds like without the kids show censorship
5 - no. does he look like a man who swears to you? maybe some esoteric combination of words like fuckadoodle shitnozzles
6 - yes. duh
7 - he doesn’t enjoy it, but occasionally, sparingly, when the situation calls for it
8 - definitely . not too frequently, though. for emphasis, or for a laugh
9 - that man is a working class northerner from the 2000s and a jaded war veteran. draw your own conclusions. he knows elaborate insults you’ve never heard of
10 - cheeky little ‘fuck’ here and there with rose & martha, ALL THE TIME with donna, and swearing like hell when he starts going off the rails in the s4 specials
11 - lol no. well… he’s got an example to set to the companions that he treats like children. he’s a storybook character and he wants to be perceived as an imaginary friend, a kind almost victorian whimsical gentleman in a bowtie, and a person like that wouldn’t use crude language. with river song though? now THAT’S a whole other story
12 - the scene in dark water with the psychic paper tells us everything we need to know. twelve in series 8 was straight up pg13ified malcolm tucker. shuttity-up-up-up without the tardis filter sounds like fuckity-bye. he swears liberally, frequently, unsparingly and unceremoniously, at everyone without distinction, including clara’s students at coal hill. personally i think that’s one hell! of a fucking! bird!
13 - no. she’s all famalam hipster mum cringy kindergarten teacher. it doesn’t fit her ~vibe~. the master makes fun of this trait in the timeless children when he’s goading her about her superiority complex. says it’s such a step down from her previous self, at least that one was honest about his emotions
fugitive - she gives no fucks and takes no shit
14 - yes from time to time, like a normal human being would, nothing excessive. donna does bring it out in him though. his mouthy side
15 - this guy says cunt and serves it
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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Sorry, was that me being cynical again?
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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#doctor please make me your companion i don’t want to work and pay rent
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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Doctor Who Space Babies:
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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So yeah, Doctor Who just came back with its first bona fide season premiere in two and a half years, denounced doing horrific things in the name of an idealised concept of "protecting the children," argued for the necessity of scary children's media by doing a PG-rated Alien pastiche with a snot-based Xenomorph, and topped it all off with a fart joke.
Robert Holmes would be so proud.
(Slightly less flippantly, God I had forgotten how meaningful it was to have new pieces of Doctor Who that wanted so passionately and aggressively to be *about* things. We are witnessing levels of "We're so fucking back" that haven't been seen since August 11, 1997.)
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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The way fifteen keeps telling Ruby the most random trauma about their life like it's the punchline of a funny joke.
And Ruby is just like "oh god, are you ok??"
Is honestly the gayest part of this new season
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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The Thirteenth Doctor: I was kidnapped by the Time Lords!
The Fifteenth Doctor: I was abandoned in space and adopted by the Time Lords.
————
If these two ever team up in an anniversary special, there’s sure going to be fireworks!
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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good to know that the doctor hasn’t forgotten jackie
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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No one:
Nobody:
Not a single soul:
Me: ... THERE'S ALWAYS A TWIST AT THE END!!! 🎶🎼🎵
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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What works for Donna, works for the Doctor as well, I guess. 😄
I just love that Fifteen's coat looks a bit similar to Donna's from season 4. I'm not sure if that was an intentional choice made by the costume department.
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hazmatblogs · 5 days
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"I thought that was non diegetic."
DECEASED.
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hazmatblogs · 17 days
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at the academy on gallifrey the only class that everyone takes is smugness 101
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