Request: âCan you do one please where buck is sick and you take care of him please.â
A/N: hi! This is my first imagine Iâve written in a long, long time, so Iâm sorry that itâs short! I hope everyone enjoys it!
TW: mentions of puke/gagging
If youâd like to be tagged in my stories, shoot me a message! Iâll eventually remake a taglist form and re-set up everything for this blog, might just take me a minute. ďżź
a/n: I had this mostly written in my drafts before Bi!Buck actually became canon and wanted to finish it, so enjoy <3 (18+ ONLY)
Warnings: pregnant reader, fluff (whoa! Cali writes fluff? Donât get used to it đ)
âIs y/n feeling okay?â
âYeah. Why do you ask?â
âBecause she looks - Well she looks a little-â
âHot.â Maddie said.
âYeah that,â Chim agreed while pointing to Maddie.
âHot?â Buck asked furrowing his brow.
âAs in sexy. Foxy. Hot!â Maddie said very bluntly that even had her husband looking at her. Athena and Hen scurried to the three at the kitchen island to join in,
âYou guys talking about Y/n?â Hen asked.
âI donât mean to be suggestive as I am a woman of class, but whatever youâre doing Buck, keep doing it,â Athena nodded as she raised her glass to the gals.
âItâs not that she wasnât THAT before now, but we havenât seen her in a while and she looks and even feels different. I can feel her vibe from here,â Hen said as she playfully grasped at the air in your direction.
âUh, heh, yeah. I guess things are a little different,â Buck said while looking back at you sweetly,
âUh, I mean, things are good! Great even! Thatâs why you guys are here. We wanted to see everyone in one room for once,â Buck smiled, âso glad youâre all here.â Buck sipped on his beer before his foot got stuck any further down his throat.
The get together was in full swing when you went and grabbed the extra bag of ice from the freezer. Buck saw you out of the corner of his eye and practically flew out of his pants rushing over to you. Eddie saw the interaction from across the room and squinted his eyebrows in his chismoso ways. He migrated to the group by the counter with a full on detective look on his face,
âYâall saw that, right?â
âYou mean the way Buck Scooby-Dooâed his way out of his seat to help a grown woman carry 10 pounds of ice? Yeah.â Hen confirmed. All heads turned to Eddie waiting for an explanation.
âWhy are you looking at me?â
âYouâre his best friend,â Maddie said matter of factly.
âYouâre his sister,â Eddie mocked back.
âI mean it would explain the changes we all see,â Hen shrugged her shoulders.
âThe glowing skin, thicker hair, filled out in the appropriate placesâŚâ Athena drifted off.
âThe cravings, the mood swings, the cryingâŚâ Chimney chimed in. Now all heads swifted his way,
âI saw her last Thursday-
âChimney!â
âDude!â
âWhat!? I wasnât paying attention to anything except the safety and well being of my Jiyung. But it does make a little more sense nowâŚâ
They stared on as Buck kissed you on your forehead and took the ice to the cooler. Bobby rounded the corner in the backyard and made his way over to you, giving you the biggest hug. The group realizes heâs pointing to Buck a lot and using grand gestures,
âThink he knows something?â Hen asked Athena who just looked on. Bobby went to head inside when he spotted the gathering at the counter and immediately stopped in his tracks to turn the other way.
âHe knows!â Eddie said has he raced around the counter, beating Bobby to bathroom,
âHey Cap! Whatâs up?â
âWhatâs up, Eddie?â
âNothin. Just hangin out, you know,â he said with a big smile and deep eye contact trying to read his Captain.
Feeling awkward,
âAlright well, Iâm gonna..â Bobby said as he motioned to the bathroom.
âYeah, man! For sure! Weâll be right out here!â Eddie walked back to the island.
âHeâs not coming out,â Chimney said, âDo you think thatâs why everyoneâs here? So they can tell us all?â
âI guess weâll find out, but we canât in good conscience harass Bobby into telling us,â Athena said as she was the first to walk off.
The party went on for another hour or so when Buck called the attention of everyone,
âY/N and I would first like to start off by thanking you all for being here. It means a lot to us that we can see the people we love and care about all together and creating memories. Thatâs why today is so special. Uh, it has come to my attention that some of you may be guessingâŚâ he said as he turned his attention to his family and they turned to Bobby who kept his eyes wide and trained forward,
âMy wife and I have created our true dream life and forever team. Weâve been through so much together and have been privileged to have had all of you by our side along the way. Which is why we are-words canât even describe this feeling, but we are beyond blessed to announce that we are expecting our first child-â
The party erupted in cheer and Bobby let out a sigh of relief before joining in on the applause. Buck never got to finish his speech before parents were coming up to you both and giving hugs.
âYou knew?â Athena asked Bobby.
âFor 3 weeks now. He said he needed to tell someone but knew it was too early to tell everyone.â
âOhh, so in the end you just respecting Buckâs wishes?â She delivered with a playful side eye.
âExactly,â he said leaning down to kiss her forehead and pull her in.
After being brought to the hospital by Detective Jay Halstead, you were healed and they made the rape test on you.
Some days after, you were called by the police to help them finding other evidence to be able to find the guy who did that to you. You were happy the help them, especially if that meant seeing the guy who raped you multiple times behind the bars.
You passed those days without sleeping well and every night you woke up because of a nightmare; you were so done with that, you just wanted to move on and be happy again but it was not easy at all.
When you entered the police station again that day, you immediately remembered the first day you went there and how you felt when you read âpoliceâ outside. You were so relieved, you were relieved because you felt like you were safe.
Being surrounded by police officers were helping you feeling safe and you were grateful for what they were making for you, for how they kept searching for your attacker.
âHi, iâm here to meet Detective Halstead.â You said to the same woman who welcomed you the first time; she didnât recognized you though, maybe because the last time she saw you, you were bleeding, with all your clothes ripped. âIâm y/n y/l/n, he told me to come here and to make an official statement about what happened to me some days ago.â
Trudy Platt was looking at something on his computer, then she raised his head to look up at you, listening to you carefully. âYou have to meet Detective Halstead, uh?â
You just nodded, feeling a little bit nervous.
âY-Yes.â You repeated again, looking at her. âHe told me to come here andâŚâ
âY/n! Itâs okay Trudy, sheâs with me.â Jay said, getting down the stairs and walking towards you. âIâm sorry, i forgot to tell you.â
Trudy Platt shook his head slightly, then sighed. âWell, if thatâs so⌠but next time make sure to inform me, Detective Chuckles.â
Jay laughed at the nickname, then he invited you to follow him upstairs; you followed his instructions and got upstairs with him at your side.
âIâm happy to see you better.â He said, smiling softly. âCome with me, we can have a coffee in the meantime. You just have to sign some papers where i reported all your words about what happened to you. You have to read it and tell me if something is wrong, then we can add something if you remembered anything else in these days.â
Jay took you into the break room, where there was a fridge and a coffee machine; he took two cups and he filled them with some coffee, offering you one. You accepted, smiling softly at him and drinking some of it.
âDid you find out something about the man? Do you have some clues?â You asked, hoping for some news. You tried to understand something about it when you got upstairs, but you couldnât see something useful on the white board. You just saw some pics of a few women and others about some dead bodies.
âWe think heâs not just a rapist.â Jay said, inviting you to sit down at the table and placing an hand on your shoulder. âWe think, actually, that you escaped from a serial killer weâre looking for in these days.â
You were shocked.
You didnât know what to do, you didnât know how to act, maybe because you just couldnât believe it, maybe because it was easier to think that all he said to you was fake, that he was not really going to kill you.
âW-What?â
Jay sighed, caressing your shoulder and trying to reassure you; he perfectly knew that it was difficult for you to accept that, he knew that you gone through hell and that you were still hurt, but you also needed to know all the truth.
âWe found three women dead in the last three weeks. They were kidnapped on Fridayâs night and found dead on Monday night. The time of the assaults coincides with your kidnapping. We donât know much more about that guy, no one saw him kidnapping them and there was no DNA or trace of him on their bodies: he cleaned them before killing them. The DNA we got with your rape test was the most important evidence weâve got so far. Thatâs why youâre here. We have to catch him at all costs, we think heâs searching for his next victim and we donât have time to wait.â
You looked at him, trembling with fear. How could it be true? How could someone rape and kill women for no reasons at all?
âWhat do i have to do?â You asked, wanting at all costs to help them finding him.
âFirst of all we want you to help us knowing every single thing he did to you before kidnapping you, itâs very important because we can use that information to understand if someone else is in danger. Second of all we should stepped back again on what he did to you. How long did he take to bring you to his place? There ware some rumors you can recognize? Maybe some cars or a train?â
Your minds kept running to that days but you were still confused about some things; you didnât slept, you didnât eat or drink and you still couldnât say if everything you remembered was true of you were just imagining it.
âOkay, we can start with that if youâre okay.â
You imm nodded, sighing heavily and watching Jay get up to take a notebook and a pencil. Before he could even ask you the first question, you were interrupted by three men that were standing at the door frane. One of them wore a badge at his belt while the other two were just wearing nice suits.
âJay, thereâs the lawyer here with his assistant. I told them thatâs not the right moment but they want to make sure that sheâs reliable.â
Reliable? Why shouldnât you be reliable?
Even Jay was pissed; he was about to say something but the other detective just shook his head, whispering to him that he was sorry but that there was no escaping from that.
âIâm sorry.â Jay whispered to you, then he sighed heavily. âThank you Adam, iâll deal with it.â
You were still on your chair, confused.
Why should they think you werenât reliable? You were the victim there and you did nothing wrong, you were raped for days and now they were thinking that you lied?
What the hell was happening? Why the lawyers were there?
You watched Jay exiting the room and closing the door behind him; he spoke with the lawyer and his assistant animatedly, trying to convince them to go away and let him deal with it alone, trying to explain them that you were still shocked and that you didnât need any more pressure, but they didnât seem to change their ideas so easily.
Jay shook his head, disappointed and against it; he wanted to protect you from all of that and he just couldnât.
When he opened the door again, he looked at you with a soft smile: you knew that something was wrong but you trusted him. As long as he was with him, you could have accepted everything, even being accused of not being reliable.
âWe have to move to the interrogation room with the layers and youâll have to explain everything to them; they have to understand if we can legally connect your rape with the victims we found dead. Itâs okay for you?â
You just nodded and got up, then you followed them into the same room you were when you talked with detective Halstead the first time; you sat down and you looked up at them.
âWhere do i have to start?â You asked without any problem. You were relaxed after all: Jay was with you and you just had to repeat everything again, nothing to worry about. After all you kept dreaming about that in the previous night and everything was still clear in your mind, you just needed to talk about it with them too, right?
What should have gone wrong?
âIâm Chicago Personal injury lawyer and iâm here just to confirm if we can legally assume that your rapist is related to the bodies the detectives found in the previous weeks, okay? My assistant here pointed out that the Defense could have work on the fact that, when you were found, you were not healthy. You didnât sleep, eat or drink for what the detectives told me and in these cases is normal to just⌠confuse some details.â The layer spoke calmly and, after that, he made a quick nod to his assistant, that took a notebook and started writing, mumbling something.
âYes, iâm writing it down, sir.â The assistant said.
When you heard that voice you just froze; your body reacted before your mind could have elaborated it; you started to tremble in fear and you eyes immediately went to his hands, the only part of him that you were able to see before he blindfolded you.
âCan you tell me what happened before being kidnapped?â Asked the lawyer while his assistant kept writing something on the notebook, just giving you a rapid look; you didnât see his eyes before but you were perfectly sure that he was just telling you to keep your mouth shut. You knew that, you knew that he was silently threatening you to stay silent.
You didnât know what to do.
You didnât know what to say.
You felt safe in there when you were with detective Halstead and then he was just letting you in the same room you your assaulter?
You thought you could have trusted him and the rest of his unit.
You thought you could have trusted every single cop in that building and then they just let your assaulter entering the same building, sitting right in front of you after he raped you multiple times.
Why?
Why you?
You wanted to scream, to yell, to tell Jay that it was him, that the killer they were searching for was in that same room with you all but you couldnât. You just couldnât.
How could you?
You were terrified.
âI wasnât kidnapped.â You finally said, lying. You heard detective Halstead whispering something to himself but you kept going, without letting him saying anything. âI wasnât kidnapped or raped. Iâm sorry. I just made it all up to cover my absence from work, thatâs it.â
You didnât look at him, you didnât look at the guy that raped you but you could steel feel his gaze on you and you were still shaking because of it.
It was a living nightmare, a nightmare you thought you had escaped from.
âY/n⌠what are you saying now? Thatâs not true! I saw you on Monday! You were shocked, hurt and covered with your own blood!â
You shook your head and you got up, stepping back and trying to add as many distance as you could from him. You just wanted to go home and forget everything.
âIt was part of the show okay?! I needed to look credible!â You lied again, stepping back when he walked towards you to understand what was happening.
Jay didnât understand why you changed your version, you were still on the same page before the arrival of the lawyer and then you just changed it, you just admitted you lied. But how could you really have lied about it? Jay saw you, jay knew that something bad happened to you the exact moment he saw you inside that room.
When you stepped back, away from him, Jay stopped in the middle of the room, still confused.
âJust look at me, y/n⌠you can trust them, just tell them the truth and everything is gonna be alright, okay?â
He was so gentle and kind with you, you just couldnât ignore him; thatâs why you looked at him and, when you did it, he knew that something was wrong, again.
He looked at your hands, that were shaking, then at the way your body was acting; there was something in there that made you feel uncomfortable and he wanted to know what, or who, it was.
âI lied, just let me go!â You begged, your voice trembling with you; you were going to cry but you didnât want to in front of him.
âYou didnât lie.â Jay said, softly. He made another step towards you and placed his hand on your cheek, looking at you in the eyes. âTell me the truth, I will help you. Trust me, y/n.â
How couldnât you?
His eyes.
It was them.
It was him.
You trusted him.
You did.
Your eyes fell on the figure of the lawyerâs assistant and Jay immediately understood.
âItâs him?â He didnât say that out loud, he just whispered in your ear to be sure that he wasnât going to understand that something was wrong, to be sure that he wasnât going to understand that she recognized him.
Jay was grateful to have forgotten to left his gun outside; he immediately pulled it out and pointed it to the lawyerâs assistant.
âPut your hands in the air now!â Jay yelled, while the Lawyer flinched, surprised.
âWhatâs happening here?â He asked, confused.
âI said put your hands up in the air!â Jay repeated while the others of the unit opened the door after having heard Jay yelling.
Hailey and Adam went inside, seeing Jay with his gun pointed ad the man in front of him while you were in a corner, still trembling.
âYou, little bitch.â He said when he understood that he was fucked. âI should have killed you when i had the chance!â He didnât put his hands in the air as he was said but he jumped straight towards you, making you scream. Before he could even touch you, Jay pulled the trigger and he shoot him in the chest twice.
He fell on the floor, gasping and moaning in pain.
And while the others tried to help him, Jay went straight to you, he took you in his arms and he brought you outside, hugging you.
âYouâre safe now.â He said, caressing your back gently. âHe wonât hurt you. Youâre safe now.â
And you felt safe.
After that day you felt safe every single day.
Detective Halstead helped you and you would have been forever grateful for what he did for you.
When you entered the police department, you felt many eyes on you. You wore clothes that were cut and dirty and you looked hurt.
You looked up at one of the police officer, a woman who was behind the desk. You guessed was a sergeant and she was around fifty years old; she immediately went around the desk to help you.
âOh my God, what happened dear?â She immediately asked you, helping you staying on your feet; you were so weak and you were about to cry sooner or later, even if you were trying to resist. She helped you and took you in one of the interrogatory rooms, telling you that she would have called a detective to help you.
After some minutes a tall guy entered the room and he immediately sat in front of you with a warm smile on his face, trying to reassure you in some way.
âIâm Detective Jay Halstead. Theyâve told me that you need me. Whatâs your name? Can you tell me what happened to you?â
You could still feel those hands on you, you could feel the pain and every single beg you yelled, asking him to let you go, asking the guy who took you to have mercy.
You were shaking but you couldnât control it.
âIâm y/n⌠a-and IâŚ. I was kidnapped.â You whispered, deciding to start from the easiest part of the story.
âWhen?â He immediately asked you, writing something on a notebook. âWhere and how? I need some details to find the guy who did this to you. Tell me everything you remember and weâll find him, okay?â
You nodded, still shaking and starting to cry.
âIt was Friday when he took me⌠i-i donâtâŚ. I d-donât know what day is it todayâŚ. I was kidnapped Friday evening after work⌠i-i stopped to a fuel station and⌠and when i was entering the car again i felt a hand on my mouth and something cold against my throat.â You whispered.
He listened carefully and he wrote everything on the paper, looking sometimes at you and smiling a little bit to encourage you to continue.
âHe had a knife and⌠he told me to get into his car and⌠and to be quiet or⌠or he would have cut my throat in an half. â
âDid you see him in the face?â Detective Halstead asked you, looking at you. âDo you remember anything that can help us finding him?â
You shook your head, crying harder.
âN-no!â You sobbed, feeling guilty. âI just did what he told me to do⌠he⌠he said that i wanted this⌠that i should have expected this⌠and after that he blindfolded meâ
Jayâs eyebrows frowned.
âWhat did he mean by that? Did something strange happen to you the days before Friday?â
You nod, crying. âY-Yes.â You sob.
It was all your fault.
You should have known
You shouldâve have done something
You should have gone to the police station sooner
âTell me about that.â He said, looking at you. âAnd donât worry, you can take your time.â
You nodded, staying silent for a while before answering him.
âI had the feeling of being followed for almost a week but i thought i was just paranoid. And than i found some flowers at my front door⌠I thought it was just some pranks of some kids⌠i didnât thinkâŚ. Itâs all my faultâ you cried.
âNo, no noâ he reassured you, taking one of your hands and squeezing it slightly. âItâs not your fault at all⌠but everything you will tell me will help us getting him in jail, okay? I know itâs hard but you have to be strong for thatâ
You perfectly knew that. You knew that you needed to tell everything but it was so fucking difficult. Everything that happened to you, everything that he did to you. And you didnât fought back, you just let that happen.
âAfter the flowers i got a call from an unknown number⌠it was Fridayâs morning and all i could have heard was someone breathing heavily on the speaker. I was so scared and i immediately hanged up. I wanted to came here but i was late for work so⌠so i decided that i could come here on Saturday when i would have been at home and i would have had more time to come hereâŚ. But that night he took me. He kidnapped me and I didnât do anything. I wasnât able to see him nor the road he made to reach his place. It was dirty and the scent of that place was horrible⌠i think it was an abandoned warehouse. â
Detective Halstead was writing everything you were saying and he kept asking you questions, giving you also the time to prepare yourself psychologically.
âWhat happened then?â
âHe tied me at something, I donât know with what but i was lying down on some old mattress. He⌠he ripped my clothesâŚâ you pointed him your clothes that were ripped and dirty. âHe⌠he r-raped meâ
It took some time to admit it.
It was so fucking difficult to say.
It was so fucking painful to admit.
You were raped.
You were raped.
You were raped
But why you? Why he took you? Why he let you go? But did he let you go? What happened? Why you were still alive? Why werenât you dead?
Maybe it would have been easier if you wouldâve died in there.
âIâm sorry for everything that had happened to you and believe me, I wouldnât ask you so many questions if i donât really think that they can help us finding him⌠can you tell me in details what he did to you? How many time did he rape you?â
You were trying to figure out how many days you spent in there but being blindfolded didnât help and he didnât even bring you some food to help you understand which part of the day it was. You couldnât even tell what day it was when you escaped, you didnât know anything, nor even where you were. You just entered the first police station you found, you didnât even know in what part of the city you were.
âHe raped me multiple times⌠i donât know how many but he often raped me during those days. He bit my breasts and⌠and he used force. I was so scared and it hurt so much, i just wanted that to be finished. Every single time i stay silent praying him to finish with me as soon as he could.â
Detective Halstead wrote everything on his notebook and than he looked up at you.
âDid he use a condom ?â
You cried harder, hiding your face beneath your hands.
âN-no⌠he didnât, he⌠never didâ you sobbed, crying.
âItâs okay, itâs okay. Youâre safe nowâ he said, getting up and walking towards you, slowly and calmly to be sure not to scare you.
You got goosebumps of fear but you didnât stepped back. You were so tired: you just wanted to go home and sleep and after telling all of what happened to the detective you felt even more tired.
âCan you tell me everything you can remember about him? Maybe a description? I know you didnât see him but you felt him, right?â
You immediately understood what he was talking about and you thought about every time you felt him, and you revived all again and again, trying to remember as many details as you could. âWhen he kidnapped me and i felt his hand on my mouth i also felt his chin against my head so he was definitely taller than me⌠iâm 170 cm so he would be around 190 cm i guess. He lowered at my height to be able to whisper in my hear and when he kissed me or bit me i felt that he had a beard⌠not a normal one, it was like a goatee⌠yes, I think he had a goatee.â
âYouâre doing great, can you remember anything else?â Jay asked, writing everything down.
âI saw only his hand on my mouth⌠he was white. And i think it was thin but muscular, just not to much. He was strong though. T-Thatâs all i can remember.â
âItâs perfect, you did great.â He reassured you. âHow did you escape?â
âI spent days trying to free myself from the rope that was keeping me tied up on the mattress and when he came todayâs morning and when he said that i need to do a shower after i thought something was wrong. He didnât even let me go to pee in the previous days. When I couldnât hear his footsteps anymore i finally freed myself, i took the blindfold off and you just ran outside and ran⌠and ran. I didnât looked back or near me, i just ran trying to add distance between me and him. I donât know for how many time i ran, i just know that at some point i read âpoliceâ and i came immediately in here.â
Detective Halstead wrote everything again, then he looked up at you.
âYou were so strong and brave, okay? And now youâre safe, i will be with you okay? But i need to accompany you to the hospital to do a rape test. It will help us knowing the DNA of the man that did all of this to you, okay?â
You immediately tried to got up to follow him at the hospital but the second you got on your feet you felt all the tiredness on you. You couldnât even stand up.
All the adrenaline went down and you felt pain in every single muscle.
You collapsed on the floor and Detectjve Halstead immediately ran towards you, calling for help and for an ambulance.
âHailey! Call for an ambulance right now!â He yelled towards the mirror, looking at you again and giving you a small slap on your cheeks to keep you awake. âItâs okay, itâs okay iâm here with you, y/n. Resist, an ambulance is in the way, okay? Just stay with me.â
âI-Iâm so tired.â You said, whispering. You looked at the detective in front of you and you tried to remember his eyes; he came there to help you and you wanted to remember him at all costs because he was your savior, after all. You saw in him the chance to find some justice and in that moment he was also trying to keep you awake while the ambulance arrived.
âI know, i know youâre tired but you have to resist and keep your eyes open for me. Look at me okay? Resist.â
You tried.
You really tried to resist but it was too much.
You were too weak.
The last things you remembered before the dark fell upon you were Jayâs eyes, then everything went dark.
When you hoped of Jayâs comeback during his eight months in the Army, you were not expecting that; you wanted to spend some time with your husband, talking about the baby with him, telling him everything that happened during those months while he was away. You wanted to have time for all of that, but you had not.
Jay was driving you to the hospital, hands tightened around the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road, arms tense. He was so much nervous, and you could feel it from distance, everyone that knew Jay could have felt it too; you wanted to reassure him in some way, but you were to focused in not losing your mind, taking deep breaths, and trying to stay as much calm as possible.
âHow are you?â He asked, turning his head towards you when he stopped at one of the red lights; you watched him closely and you tried to smiled at him sincerely; it wasnât easy though, you started to feel pain because of the labour and all you wanted to do was seeing your doctor.
âIâm goo, Jay⌠itâs justâŚâ You couldnât avoid to moan in pain, feeling another contraction; you were just hoping to arrive at the hospital in time since there was so much traffic. âIt hurts when the contraction kicks in, but I have endured worse pain after being shot at work, you know.â
Jay nodded and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching at the lights to be sure that they were still red; he just wanted to push the accelerator, arriving at the hospital as early as possible. âI wish I have the police lights right now; I could use them to bring you to the hospital in just few minutes.â
You smiled a little and, after taking a deep breath, you took his hand in yours, smiling a little bit and looking at his eyes.
âJay, donât worry, okay? Me and the baby are still good, our child just wants to meet his father as soon as he can.â You smiled softly, caressing his hand, and letting it go just when the green lights appeared, letting him drive again towards the hospital.
âIs it a boy or a girl?â He at once asked you, smiling softly and relaxing a bit.
âI donât know. I didnât want to discover it without you, so I wait you and here you are. I guess we will find out the baby gender after I gave birth and, well⌠we still need to find a name for him or for her. What do you think?â
He smiled softly, driving towards the hospital, and thinking about everything that was happening to him; he came home eager to see you again, to hug you and kiss you, to kiss the love of his life. He wanted to tell you that he came back and that he would have stayed with you forever, that he wouldnât leave you anymore, but he wasnât expecting that. He didnât know that he would have become father and, driving you to the hospital, he started to get nervous.
He kept asking himself if he was ready for that, if he would have been a good father.
You notice that something was wrong because you recognise at one the frowning expression he usually had when something was not right. Was he still angry with you? Was he nervous about something?
âWhatâs going on, Jay?â you asked him, breathing heavily because of the pain of the labour. âWhy are you so strange? Are you still mad at me?â
He turned his face towards you after parking in front of the hospital, then he shook his head and he took your hand between his own, smiling softly at you and sighing. âIâm not mad at you. I was angry because I wanted to know it, but right now Iâm just worried about you both and Iâm nervous. I just wonder if I will be a good father for him, because I really want to.â
You smiled, shaking your head, and leaning forward; you placed a soft kiss on his lips for the first time after all those months and you smiled wider. God, you missed him so much. You would have kiss him for hours and hours if it wasnât for the baby that was kicking its way out.
âI love you, Jay, and I know for sure that you will be the best father in the world, I already knew that the time I discovered I was pregnant.â You smiled, trying to reassure him somehow. You really wanted him to live the labour in the best way possible, especially since he didnât have the chance to live the pregnancy as you did. âI never doubted it and I will never do.â
He ran one of his hands through his hair, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. He needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you; after all you were the one in labour, not him.
âThank you, babe.â He whispered, nodding slightly, and looking at you with a smile on his lips. He was much calmer after your words, and he was now ready to become a dad. âLetâs go now, Iâll call Will to let him know that youâre pregnant and that youâre in labour.â
You reassured him, exiting the car and thanking him for his help when he got you in his arms, trying to help you walking toward the enter of the hospital. âWill knows that Iâm pregnant. I asked him not to tell you because you were in Boliva and because was afraid that you would have done something stupid, that you would have become less focused on your job. He tried to convince me to tell you the truth so many times but, in the end, I always won.â
Jay was angry at the beginning, to discover that also his brother knew about the pregnancy, as well as his friends and everyone in the unit. He was the only one that left in the dark for so many months and he was also the first that should have known about it in the first place. He really wanted to scream, to yell, to let go all of his frustrations, but he didnât want to do it now; he didn't want to scare you or to make you worried since you were in labour: he needed to stay calm and to be there for you both. It was difficult, he really was, but he did what was the best for his wife and for his future child.
âOkay, donât worry.â He simply said, sighing. You both finally entered the hospital, and, after that, you were brought up into the obstetrics department of the hospital, were you will have been monitored till the right moment.
You started to become more nervous after every second; you just wanted to take the baby in your arms, to cuddle him and to show him to his father, the man of your life. You hoped and dreamed of that moment for months and, when it came, it wasnât as you expected. The first visit you made with your doctor showed that there was something wrong. You and Jay immediately understood that when you saw their faces and you started panicking at once.
Jay tried to reassure you, stroking your hair, placing small kisses on your forehead, on your cheeks, trying to make you feeling better, trying to calm you down. The doctor and the nurses started to talk quietly and only after some minutes they talked to you.
âThe umbilical cord is wrapped around the babyâs neck.â He said, the exact moment Will entered the room after being told of what was happening. Jayâs heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard the doctor, he looked up and he found Willâs gaze. Before the doctor could have said everything else, you started crying while Jay walked toward his brother.
âWill, tell me that everything is going to be fine.â He immediately asked his brother, not paying attention to the doctor that gave you the news; he tried to answer instead of Will, but Jay stopped him before he could. âIâm asking my brotherâs opinion, not yours.â He pointed out.
Will shook his head and placed his hand on Jayâs shoulder, trying to reassure him. âJay.. Iâm not y/nâs doctor and you should listen to him. He knows what the best for the baby is and for her too, okay?â
Jay calmed down a little bit and he sighed deeply; he looked up at the doctor and he nodded at him to let him know that he had his full attention.
âIâll have to move that from the babyâs neck during the childbirth. It may be painful, but we have to do it for the babyâs sake. It wonât be difficult, okay? Itâs nothing to be worried about, I made it so may times and everything went as expected. I need you to stay calm, you both.â
Jay went back to your side, and he took your hand in his, trying to be there for you; he saw how nervous and worried you were and he needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you and the baby. âYou heard the doctor, love. The baby is gonna be alright, okay? We need to be positive right now. Maybe we can think about some names, what do you think?â
You nodded, trying to take deep breaths, and trying to be as calm as you could. Having Jay by your side made it so much easier and you were grateful for having him there with you. You both started to say names for the baby and, one hour later, when the contractions were very close to each other and painful, they brought you to the birth room. Jay followed back, keeping telling you that everything would have been alright, that the baby would have been healthy and that you just needed to be calm for him. He was always by your side. He didnât leave you, he kept reassuring you with soft and sweet words, he kept stroking your head and kissing your forehead. He was with you every second, he never left. Even when the doctor used his hand to move away the umbilical cord from the babyâs neck, that was very painful, Jay was there.
âHold on, love. Hold on for me, y/n, everything is gonna be alright after that, okay?â he kept telling you, caressing your hand while you screamed in pain. When, finally, the doctor gave you the permission to push again, you did it, hoping that everything would have ended as soon as it was possible. He was just too much to handle, and you just wanted to cry and to rest a little bit.
âJust one more push and you will meet your children!â the doctor encouraged you, and you did it. You squeezed Jayâs hand as strong as you could, screaming in pain and pushing again for the last time. you could even describe how it felt when you heard the baby crying. Your heart stopped beating and tears ran down your cheeks but, this time, those were not tears of pain. Jay, on his side, just couldnât believe it, nor even when he heard the baby crying. He just couldnât believe that he was a dad.
A nurse immediately placed the baby on your chest, wrapped around a pink towel. She smiled at you and Jay. âCongratulations. Mom and Dad, itâs a baby girl.â
You looked down at your baby and you cried again and again, looking at her baby face and at her hands. She was so small and beautiful at the same time. you just couldn't believe that such a beaty came out of you, you just couldn't believe that you were finally see the baby that you felt growing inside of you. You never felt so good, you never felt so alive.
âDo you want to take her?â You asked Jay, softly.
All the pain you felt just vanished when you took her between your arms, and, when you passed her to your husband, you were even more happy.
The way Jayâs eyes lit up when he took her in his arms was something you would have never forgotten.
âHi, sweetheart.â He said softly, crying when the baby squeezed one of his fingers in her small hand. âGod, sheâs beautiful.â
He just couldnât look away; she was too beautiful. He could have stayed there, cuddling, all the time, even for years. He just looked away from her when the nurse asked them about her name, that needed to be written down on her bracelet.
âHalstead, Kate Halstead.â Both of you said, smiling at each other.
Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldnât believe his eyes when he saw his wife again
Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst
English is not my first language, sorry if thereâs some mistakes!
When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didnât think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didnât think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.
And then something changed.
You didnât know if that was because of his partner, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didnât recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you werenât able to find a way to help him get through that.
You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.
Thatâs why you let him go.
When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldnât believe it, you just couldnât.
Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?
You didnât know what was true, but you couldnât just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.
And thatâs exactly what you did.
âIt will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.â He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. âI love you⌠i really do but i need to do this. Please donât be angry with me, iâll come back to you, i promise. Youâre the love of my life, y/n.â
When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldnât deny him to be himself again.
Thatâs why you didnât tell him the truth.
Thatâs why you hid it from him.
When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.
âY/nâŚâ she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. âItâs okay. Itâs temporary, right? He will come back, okay?â
You didnât say anything, you didnât nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.
âWe perfectly know that he can die there.â You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.
âOh, y/nâŚâ she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.
It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.
âWhatâs that?â She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didnât complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. âYouâre pregnant?â
You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, thatâs why you just nodded, answering her.
âDoes Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that youâre pregnant?â
Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldnât have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying ânoâ, she hugged you tighter.
âOh, darling.â She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. âYou shouldâve told him, Y/n, iâm sure he wouldnât have left knowing that.â
You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.
âT-Thatâs why i-i d-dinât tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldnât stop him.â
âBut he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!â She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.
âWhen he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadnât already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that heâs lost. Heâs not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, thatâs only for eight months.â You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. âWhen he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.â
Kim didnât agree with you but you was still shocked, thatâs why she didnât say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.
And she did, as all your unit.
Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.
In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.
You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasnât there. You couldnât blame him since you didnât tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.
Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasnât ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.
In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you wouldâve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didnât talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didnât want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.
Thatâs why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.
Until you didnât hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.
You didnât know when he wouldâve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldnât get through labor without him by your side.
That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; thatâs why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.
âC-Coming.â You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. âJust give me one minute, iâm trying to get up from the couch.â
At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.
Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.
âJ-Jay?â You whispered, shocked. You didnât expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.
âYouâre pregnant.â He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldnât believe his eyes, he just couldnât believe it. âAm i the father?â
That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.
âWhat do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? Youâre my fucking husband, of course youâre the father.â
You were so angry.
You didnât even realize it till that moment.
You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didnât know it, even if it wasnât his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?
âWhy didnât you tell me? I would have come back!â He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.
âYou took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didnât even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!â
Jay knew that coming back home wouldnât have been easy, he knew that you wouldâve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didnât expect to come home and find you pregnant.
âWait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!â
You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.
Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.
Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.
âYes.â You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. âI discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldnât tell you after that.â
Jay couldnât believe his ears, he couldnât believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldnât have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.
âYou should have told me, Y/n!â He wasnât able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you werenât prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he wouldâve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that heâs going to become a father in what, few days?
âIâm sorry.â He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. âIâm sorry i yelled, itâs just thatâŚ. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.â
You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.
âI know.â You sobbed, looking at him. âIâm sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldnât left and⌠you said you needed it, I couldnât stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldnât see you so sad here. And⌠when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia⌠i just couldnât take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.â
Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.
âIâm sorry i left you alone.â He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. Thatâs why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.
âWell, i wasnât alone, was i?â You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. âHe, or she, was with me all the time.â
Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.
âSay hi to your daddy.â You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.
Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.
âWhatâs wrong?â He immediately asked, concerned. âIs everything okay, babe?â
You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.
âOh no.â You whispered.
Jay looked at you, confused. âWhatâs happening?â
You looked at him and moaned in pain.
â i think Iâm in labor.â
âFuck.â He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. âIâm sorry, i swore in front of the baby!â
You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.
âHospital.â You whispered and he nodded.
âHospital.â He agreed. âHoly shit, Iâm going to be a father.â
âJay.â You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.
âIâm sorry!â He said, referring to his previous words.
Dating a detective from the Intelligence wasnât something you had planned of when you took the job in the 21st district; you needed a change, you needed a new place where to start a new life with new opportunities and the 21st was the best place for that, for you. You dreamed of becoming a detective for years, after all it was your dream when you entered the police academy, and meeting the Intelligence Unit and Sergeant Voight was the best for you because all your dreams seemed to be more realistic. Dating a detective from the unit was risky, it really was, especially since sergeant Voight didnât like in-house romances. Â You heard of Kim, that got rejected for the job the first time because of her new relationship with Adam Ruzek, one of the detectives, and you didnât want it to happen to you too.
Everything with Jay happened so fast that you didnât even realize at the beginning; you found yourself in his bed one time, two times and after that almost every night. It was beautiful, it really was, you just couldnât end it because you really started to feel something for him. You didnât know if it was the same for him, but you hoped so because you were really falling for him. Everything was done in secret: you never called him by his name at work but jus âDetective Halsteadâ as well as his colleagues, you never looked at him too much, afraid that someone would have noticed, and you always kept it professional. Sometimes you were both seen at the Mollyâs, but every time you were seen together, your partner Roman and his colleagues were there too, so that it didnât sound suspicious.
It was difficult, it really was, especially when you saw him with his vest on; it looked so damn hot, and it was difficult for you to resist him. The same was for him though, especially since the uniform you wore during all your shifts looked so good on you; sometimes Jay just wanted to take you in an empty room and kissed you for hours.
That day it was just a normal one: you kissed Jay on the lips before going back to your apartments before the start of the shifts, you arrived at the station at different times as usual and you just wished to each other good luck before starting your shifts. Roman was already waiting for you when you arrived there, and you immediately smiled at him.
âGood morning sergeant, hi Sean.â You smiled at your sergeant Trudy Platt, behind the desk, and at your partner, that already had the keys in his hands.
ây/l/m, Roman, be careful.â Trudy recommended as always, not looking at you and trying to sound like she didnât care at all; you knew Trudy very well after almost three months in the district and you really loved her. She was strict but also very sweet, even if she didnât want anyone to notice that part of her character.
âThanks Sergeant.â You smiled and you turned around, ready to leave the district to start your shift as a patrolman. Your eyes met Jayâs, that was entering in that moment. You smiled softly at him, then you looked away and you passed him, saying âGood morning, Detective Halstead.â
âGood morning, Roman, Y/l/n.â He smiled back, then he walked towards the stairs to go upstairs, where the rest of the Intelligence worked.
âYou know, you donât have to pretend when youâre with me.â Said Roman when you both entered the car; you looked up at him with a confused look. âI mean, you and Halstead. I Know that youâre dating. You donât have to pretend to be professional when youâre with me: I wonât judge you, any of you.â
You didnât think that someone discovered about your secret relationship, and you were shocked when Roman told you so; you were speechless, you just looked at him.
âI wonât tell anybody, y/n.â He reassured you, smiling softly. âI know that youâre not sleeping your way upstairs and I know that you are both good at keeping it professional, so it doesnât bother me at all. Besides, I also think that you shouldnât be ashamed about it because I donât think Voight will actually care. I mean, he offered the job to Kim when she was still with Adam.â
He was right, but you just couldnât lose the chance to realize your dream job just because of a relationship that wasnât even official. You saw each other every day at work and at night after shifts, but you didnât know if he felt the same for you, you didn't know how serious it was because you never actually talked about it before.
âitâs just⌠I still donât know what we are right now. I... I think Iâm actually falling for him, but I donât know if itâs the same for him, you know. I just donât want to ruin things between us and keeping it a secret is easier.â You told him, sighing and watching outside the window, paying attention to the street and to everyone, in case something wrong was happing.
âI can understand that⌠keeping it a secret gives you a reason not to tell him the truth and at the same time you avoid the possibility of being rejected, but you have to tell him the truth. He deserved that; donât you think?â
Before you could even think about it, someone called for you at the radio.
âTo all units, we registered a silent alarmed at 2058 W. 22nd Place.â
You looked at Roman and you both nodded, he turned on the sirens and you answered the radio immediately. â2116 squad, weâre just two blocks aways; weâre responding.â
âCopy that 2116 squad.â
When you arrived at the scene, you both noticed three guys wearing black balaclavas exiting the bar with three black duffle bags. You exited the car, and you pointed your gun at them, while Roman did the same.
âCPD, stop!â You screamed.
Everything happened so fast that you couldnât even hide behind the car: all three of them took three semiautomatic rifles from the duffle bags and pointed them at you.
âGun!â Roman screamed, hiding behind the car just in time; you tried to do the same, but you were in a worst position, and you had to do all the way around the car to hide. You really tried to do it in time, but you found yourself on the ground before you could do it.
Roman didnât noticed it at the beginning, he called for help on the radio and he returned fire.
â10-1, 10-1, shots fired at the police! Three offender wearing black balaclava. We need backup!â He said, turning around to make sure that you were okay; when he didnât see you, he became pale, and you screamed your name. âY/n! Where are you?â
He looked around and he finally saw you on the ground, on the other side of the car, breathing hardly and with blood all over you. âY/n!â He grabbed you from your vest and he dragged you behind the car, grabbing the radio. Â âOfficer down! Officer Down! I need an ambo at my location right now, my partner had been shot!â
You looked at him, pain all over your body. You saw how worried he looked, and you immediately understood that it was bad, really bad.
âY/n, stay with me please, stay with me!â He took of your vest, applying pressure on your chest where the bullet hit you somehow. âHelp is on its way, stay with me please. No, no, noâŚâ He said, seeing that you were losing consciousness; you wanted to say something, but you didnât have the strength to do that. You passed after some minutes and all you remembered after that was darkness.
At the district, in the meantime, Jay was coming down the stairs when he was stopped by Sergeant Platt, who looked worried as hell; she almost looked like she aged ten years in just few minutes and it wasnât a good sign, not at all.
âHalstead!â She screamed in panic. âGo upstairs and call down the whole Unit now!â
Jay, confused, began to buzzed himself up with his handprint. âWhat happened?â
âY/nâs been shot. Now get Voight!â
Jay thought that the world went down; it was like a nightmare. He rushed upstairs, catching everyoneâs attention. âVoight! Y/nâs been shot!â
He was desperate, he couldnât think straight and all he was doing was hoping that you would have been alright, that it wouldnât have been too much bad. He let Hailey drive, knowing that he wasnât in the right mood to do it; Hailey was the only one that knew everything about you and Jay, she knew that Jay was falling in love with you, and she knew that he must had been difficult for him. She drove as fast as she could, arriving at the scene just few minutes after. Jay got out of the car immediately and he ran towards Roman and you.
When he saw you on the ground covered with blood, he almost passed out too. It was too much to handle, it was too much heartbreaking seeing you in that state and, worst of all, the ambulance hadnât arrived yet.
âWhat the hell happened?!â He asked Roman, taking off his own jacket and pushing him aside to be able to apply pressure on her wound with his jacket. A towel would have been better but that was the best he had with him.
âThere were three guys! We didnât know they were armed; I hid behind the car, and I returned fire, then I looked for her and I found her on the ground. The bullet went through her vest. The offenders ran away in a black SUV with no plate when I stopped shooting at them⌠I needed to help her.â
Jay looked at your face and cried; he didnât notice that at the beginning, but he did when he saw you being brought on the ambulance, with Roman at your side. He wanted to come with you, he really wanted to follow you inside the ambulance, but he couldnât. He didnât want to let Voight know that he was to much invested: he wanted to catch the guys that shot you and he would have at any costs.
âYouâre crying, Jay. Hide your tears if you want to work on this case.â Hailey told him, whispering to his ear when she saw Hank Voight arriving at the scene too. Jay wiped away his tears, took a deep breath, smiled softly at Hailey as a thank you, and he turned around to face his sergeant.
âWhat happened?â Hank asked, looking at them and at the stain of blood that there was on the road, where you were till few minutes earlier.
âThree guys, wearing black hoodies and black balaclavas, they robbed the bar and shot at Roman and y/l/n when they arrived. Roman responded to fire but he let them go when he discovered that y/l/n got shot. He covered her and saw the guy running away in a black SUV. No plate.â
âThe bullet got trough her vest.â Added Hailey. âShe was hit in the chest, and she didnât look great.â
Voight looked away from the blood stain and looked at his detectives. Â
âI want everyone in the unit to look after these bastards, am I clear? They hit one of us and theyâll regret it.â He said, firmly. He looked at Jay and Hailey, then at Kim, Adam and Kevin that went to ask some questions to the bar clients in case they heard or saw anything important. âI want the videos of all the security camera in this block. Find the SUV, find them. They must have left a trace behind themselves. And let me know everything about Y/n state, okay? Now letâs go, we have three offenders to catch.â
Jay really wanted to catch the guys that shot you, but he also wanted to be by your side, he wanted to go to the hospital and make sure that you would have been fine, he wanted to be there for you. He just couldnât forget you on the ground, covered with your own blood, unconscious. It shouldnât have happened to you, and he should have been by your side, not in the district doing some paperwork.
âWe can stop at the hospital for a moment if you want to.â Hailey whispered while Jay and her were walking towards the car. âJust ask me and I will bring you to see her.â
Jay nodded, sitting in the passenger seat and looking out of the window; he really wanted to know how you were, he really wanted to see you, hoping that there will have been good news for him. He just couldnât lose you, not since he hadnât told you yet that he loves you, not since he needed you by his side, he needed to see you smile at him, he needed to hug you and kiss you.
Why that happened to you? Why you of all people?
At the hospital the only thing you discovered was that you were still having a surgery and that your conditions were critical; he also found Will his brother, in the hallways and he immediately stopped him, asking him to let him know if anything changed. He wanted to be the first one to now if something happened to you, he wanted to know about the surgery and about your condition as soon as it was possible. Will reassured him, but Jay was still worried as hell.
Back at the district, everyone was working hard on the case, trying to identify the offenders, and trying to understand what really happened. Why they robbed a normal bar? Why they used guns for just some cash?
Something wasnât right about it and Jay was sure about that.
âOkay, we found some bullets on the road and ballistic identify them. They used Armor-piercing bullets, thatâs why the vest didnât stop them.â Kim said, placing a pic of you on the with board as well as the photo of the bullets found on the scene.
âWhat? Who were these guys? Armor-piercing bullets are not that easy to find.â Adam noted, looking at the photo from his desk. âWhy bring those kind of weapons just for a robbery in a normal bar?â
âIt can be just that.â Pointed out Jay, shaking his head. âAre we sure that they only robbed the money from the register?â
Voight nodded slightly and looked at them. âBurgess, Atwater, go get the owner of the bar, they have to know something. Bring them here and put them in the interview room. Ruzek search everything that you can found about the owner, everything. Halstead, Upton, i want you two focused on the black SUV.â
âCopy that Sargeâ
They worked on the case for hours and hours and finally they identified the offenders and the reason why they choose to rob that bar, which was just a good cover for diamonds trafficking. When Jay caught the guys that shoot at you, he felt angrier. He really wanted to kick him, to beat him up, to put a gun to his head. He wanted revenge, he wanted revenge because you were still fighting for your life inside the hospital.
âJay, Jay stop!â Hailey tried to stop him, she really did, but Jay didnât listen to her. He broke down him and he started to hit him in the face again, and again, and again till someone stopped him.
âStop it, Jay!â Adam kept him away, while Voight looked at him from distance; he noticed that Jay was different during that case but he didnât think about that possibility, he didnât think that one of his detective dated one of his patrolmen without him knowing. He immediately recognized the signs with Ruzek and Burgess at the time but he didnât with Jay and you.
Before he could even try to talk to him, Jay got a call from his brother and he immediately answered.
âWill, howâs she?â He asked, feeling his heart beating hard and fast. He couldnât even breathe normally, he just couldnât think normally. He was so scared and the only thing he wanted was to see your eyes open again, your smiled on your face.
âShe woke up, Jay.â Will told him. âAnd she asked for you.â He added.
Jayâs smile spread all over his face, happy to hear that. He was really worried and he was scared for you, but knowing that you would have been okay made him feel better again, made him feel alive again.
âIâm coming.â
He didnât ask for permission, nor he asked Hailey to drive, he just told Kevin to bring Hailey back at the district and he ran outside, towards the car; arriving at the hospital was probably the longest drive he ever did, with all the anticipation of being by her side again.
He ran towards your room and, when he saw Roman in front of it, Jay immediately gulped and looked at him. âIâm here for y/l/n.â He said, using your last name to be discreet and to still hide your relationship, knowing how much you wanted to become a detective of the intelligence.
âDonât worry Halstead⌠I already know about you. Just get in there, you are the first think she asked about after she woke up.â
Jay felt his heart beating fast, nodding slightly and thanking Roman for what he said and what he did, stating with by your side all the time. âThank you, Sean.â
The police officer just nodded, then he walked away towards the vendine machine while Jay entered your room. You were there: laying down on the bed, pale but with a small smile on your lips.
âI heard you were worried about me.â You said, smiling softly and taking his hands in yours; Jay smiled in response and he took a seat next to your bed. âMaybe I should got shoot more often.â You joked, caressing his hand softly.
Jay chuckled and shook his head, then he kissed your hand and he smiled wider.
âThatâs my detective chuckles!â You said, making him laugh and smile even more.
God, thatâs why he loved you.
âDonât you dare to do such a joke anymore, okay?â He whispered, caressing your hand. âI canât have an heart attack every time you got shot.â
âAnd why not? I love to see you worried about me, you know?â You really was somehow relieved knowing that he was worry about you, because you hoped that it was a sign of his feelings for you.
âOh yeah? Seeing the love of your life covered with her own blood isnât that good, you know.â
You froze, looking at him with tears in your eyes; he didnât even think about what he said and, at first, he didnât realize it till he saw tour face. He tried to apologize, thinking that you didnât love him back, but he was interrupted by your hand on his mouth.
âDonât you dare to say anything.â You whispered, afraid that he would have took it back. âI love you too and know please get up and kiss me because I canât bend over to you.â
Jay didnât make you repeat again, he smiled, got on his feet and he bent on your bed, placing his lips on yours in a deep and sweet kiss.
You both dis it without thinking, you were just too happy, too involve in the moment that you didnât notice the rest of the unit, as well as Voight, outside of your room.
But you didnât care about it, you didnât care about his âNo in-house romanceâ, you didnât care about it.
All that matters for you both was to be together, as a couple.
âSecret revealed.â You whispered to his ear, seeing all his colleagues outside the room.
âI donât care. I wonât stop loving you just for his stupid rule. I donât care about anything but you, babe.â
âI love you, Jay.â You whispered. âBut next time, tell me about your feelings before getting shot, okay?â
Could I request a Jay Halstead x Female Reader fic. Where Jay and reader are married and they are chasing after a suspect when reader gets shot in the stomach. After surgery to take the bullets out, she feels like she's let Jay down and worries they will never start a family. But Jay reassures her they will have a baby one day.
Healing Process
Summary: y/n got shot in front of Jay and discovered that she might not be able to have children
Pairing: jay halstead x wife! reader
Warning: shooting, guns, blood, and angst. Thereâs also some fluff
A/N: I really hope youâll like that! Thank you for your request because i really love writing this. Let me know if you like it, i hope itâs like you imagined it.
âCan you help me with the vest?â You asked to your husband, Jay Halstead, holding your hair to the side to make it easier for him.
âOf course, babe.â He reassured you, smiling softly and walking towards you; when he was right behind you, he adjusted your vest and he secured it, leaving a kiss on your neck when no one else was watching you. âThe best part is taking that off, but i appreciate this too.â He whispered to your ear, making you blush.
âJay!â You whispered back, looking at him with wide eyes. âYou canât say that at work, itâs forbidden! We both agreed to keep it as much professional as we could at work, no references to sex!â
Jay chucked, placing a kiss on your forehead and stepping back; he adjusted is own vest and positioned his gun in the holster placed on his right thigh.
He loved when you were angry and, first of all, he loved when he made you embarrassed because of his words. He perfectly knew the effect he had on you and he took advantage of that; when you reached him and tried to hit him slightly on his chest, he stepped back again.
âCome on babe, iâm just kidding!â He laughed, wrapping his arms around your waist and stopping you from hurting him; he hid his face between your hair and he sighed. âAnyway, tonight iâm gonna take that off for sure⌠we still have to try to have a baby, right?â He said, smiling softly and caressing your hips with his hands. He paid so much attention when he was with you, always trying to make you feel good, always trying to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes he messed around with you, mostly because he wanted to tease you and make you angry, but he always paid attention to your feelings and needs.
âRight.â You whispered, nodding slightly. You smiled again and you relaxed in his arms, even if talking about baby was difficult for you. It was three months now that you tried to get pregnant and it wasnât easy to take those tests and, every time, discovered that you werenât able to do it, you werenât able to get pregnant. You really wanted to start a family with Jay, you just couldnât stop thinking about a mini Jay running around the house pretending to be a cop like his father and his mother. It was a dream for you both, probably the biggest dream you had: starting a family with the love of your life.
âYeah, i know. I always like, you know, the processâŚâ you whispered, reddening. âBut iâm also tired. I just want to got pregnant and i canât understand why it hadnât happen yet. I mean, the gynecologist said that thereâs nothing wrong with my body, so⌠i wish that tonight will be THE night.â
âIt will, love.â He kissed your head again, then he let you go and he added some distance between you two, hearing Voightâs steps on the stairs. âI promise you that weâll have a family together, but first of all we have to catch that guy, okay?â
You nodded , becoming serious at once. He was right after all, you were at work and you needed to be focused on the job, in the guy that you had to catch for murder. It was a member of a gang that decided to got revenge alone, avenging his sister that was raped by one of the rival gang. It was not an easy case at all, especially when you found the guyâs sister at the entrance, crying. She knew that her brother had took revenge on his own and she knew that it wasnât right, thatâs why she accused her own brother for murder.
It wasnât easy to speak with her because she was the victim after all. She suffered two times: when she was raped and when she discovered that her brother killed her raper.
âI still canât understand how strong she was to accuse his own brother for the murder of her raper. She was broken inside and, still, she chose to be by the justiceâs side. Itâs remarkable.â
Jay nodded, sighing.
âYeah, i know. Itâs not an easy case but we have to pay attention. Even if she asked us to not hurt her brother, we have to be careful: heâs in a gang, he already killed once and he can do it again. Donât think about her till we got him, alright?â
You nodded again, looking at your Sergeant and the others, that were just waiting for you two; you adjusted your hair in a ponytail and you walked towards them, ready to go.
âOkay. First of all i want to remember you that weâll have to be careful. I want you all alive at the end of the shift, am i clear?â
You all nodded, paying attention to his speech, that was never the same. Sometimes he just recommended caution and told them to came back in one piece, sometimes he remembered them that theyâre all a family and that they had to be united. You knew that those were just words, but you always appreciated them, especially because they came from Voight, that always seemed cold and strict at first sight, but was also sweet and kind with everyone he cared of.
The address that the sister gave you was actually a good hint; you separated and you went to the back of the house with Jay and Kevin while Adam, Kim and Voight entered from the front.
âCPD!â You heard Adamâs voice from the other side of the house and you immediately approached the back door to open it with Jay and Kevin by your side. You busted it open and you entered with your gun pointing in front of you, then you started to check the house to verify if he was there or not.
âClear!â
âClear!â
âClear!â
âClear!â
It was actually very obvious that the offender wasnât in the house when you entered, but the beer on the table was still cold and you immediately understood that he was near.
âItâs still cold, he must have left some minutes before our arrival.â You pointed out, looking out of the window with your gun still in your hand, even if it was pointing at the floor. When you saw a figure outside the window, you got closer to identify him, but he started running away after dropping a box of pizza.
âShit, heâs outside! Heâs heading north!â You exclaimed, running after him with Jay at your side. The others got back to the cars, trying to stop him from the road while you two kept chasing him by foot.
âCPD, stop!â You screamed, running faster with your gun still in your hands. You tightened the grip in it, not sure about using it.
Before you could even think about that, the guy, after hiding behind a car on the road, pointed a gun at you both and started shooting at you.
âGun!â You screamed, turning around towards Jay and throwing yourself on him, trying to took him down with you, where you both would have been covered.
âAre You okay?â You asked him, worried. He nodded and you both started to respond to fire.
â10-1, 10-1. Shots fired at the police. We need backup at our location. Black male, blue jeans and green hoodie.â You said at the radio, letting the rest of the unit know where you were. You took a deep breath, then you looked at Jay.
âCover me!â
âWhat? No!â He screamed, trying to hold you from changing position. âItâs too far from here, he will shoot at us. Weâre safe here and the unitâs coming. Just stay here and help me, we have just to resist.â
You looked at him, at how he responded to fire again and again but it never stopped; you didnât know how many chargers the offender had, but he had many since it didnât stop shooting , not yet. You had to do something about it, you just couldnât stay there, responding to fire in a very bad position. You looked at Jay and you knew that at least you had to try; you didnât tell him what you wanted to do because you were sure it wouldnât have approved, you just did it.
You run towards another car that was at the other side of the road and you almost made it, you would have if Jayâs hadnât finish on of his chargers. There was just few moments when Jay took his new charger from his pocket; he didnât know that you were in the middle of the road when it happened, he just turned around to ask you how many chargers you still had and, when he didnât see you there, he knew.
The first thing you heard was actually Jay screaming your name, then you heard the shot. You fell on the ground feeling a sharp pain in your abdominal area and, after that, all over your body. You knew that you were hit right under the vest and you knew that you were bleeding, you knew that because it was too much pain for just a bullet stopped by the vest. It wasnât that, you had already felt that and the pain you were feeling was much worse.
Jay finally shot at the offender and he took him right in the chest; he fell on the ground without moving the same moment the rest of the unit arrived; Kevin ran towards the offender, discovering that he was dead, while the others ran towards you.
Jay was the first by your side while the others called an ambulance for you.
âBabe, shhh⌠youâre good, you will be good, okay? The ambulance is on its wayâ Jay applied as much pressure as he could, ignoring the moan of pain that escaped your lips. He could not let you die, not between his hands, not because of the fucking charger.
âHelps is seven minutes away.â Told a woman in the radio some moments after.
âItâs too much, we have to bring her to the hospital now!â Voight said, looking at Jay and the other. âJay, can you took her into my car? Iâll drove you two to the hospital. Advise that weâre coming with an officer being shot.â
Jay didnât wait a second: he took you in his arms and he got you inside Voightâs car, with him by your side. Your husband never left your side, he stayed with you all the time, applying pressure to your belly, where you were hit.
âIâm sorry, iâm sorry but i have to do it, babe.â Jay whispered when you moaned in pain again, feeling his pressure just on the wound. You knew that he was just saving your life and that you would have done the same for him, but all you could think was: âplease, make it stop.â
You didnât talk, especially since you were afraid you wouldnât have been able to do it; you were really tired and you felt the darkness falling on you. Jayâs words seemed so distant and you just wanted to sleep, just for few hours.
âNo, no! Donât sleep!â
You mumbled something with your eyes closed, hearing doors being closed hardly and feeling your body so light in your husband arms that you immediately noticed the difference when he placed you on the stretcher.
âWe got her, Jay. We got her, okay?â
Will.
That was Will, Jayâs brother.
That was the last thing you remembered before the darkness won against you.
When you woke up the next day, you heard someone talking just outside your room; they seemed nervous and anxious but you couldnât understand why. You tried to open your eyes but the light was too bright for you, so you shut them again, trying to hear your husband talking with his own brother.
âThey had to remove one of her ovaries, Jay. The bullet hit her there and they couldnât repair the damage; besides that, the uterus is still intact and the same is for the other ovary.â
Jay was just shocked. He couldnât believe his ears, he couldnât believe that your chance of becoming parents was fading away slowly.
âWe were trying to have a baby, Will.â Your husband said, his voice broken.
âI know, i know but look, I already told you that. You can still ha-â
Before he could continue, you finally open your eyes and you looked at them, both didnât know what to do or what to say. It seemed like Jay and Will saw you, thatâs why they entered the room without finished the sentence. It was weird but you couldnât blame them for that, especially since you just lost your chances of becoming a mother with Jay.
How could you deny him a family? Was it the best for him? Will he be happy with you even without your own kids?
It was all your fault: you should have listened to him and stayed right where he said to, you should have told him that you wanted to go again and you shouldnât have just done it without consulting not only your partner in work, but also your partner in life.
âBabe, youâre awake finally.â Jay sighed in relief, taking your hand in his and caressing it gently. âI was so worried about you, love. Please next time just advise me before doing something so stupid, okay?â
Jay was really trying to postpone the time of the bad news, you knew that because Jay was so obvious, especially with you. He just couldnât lie, he was too good for it, even for small lies.
âDid they really remove my ovary?â You whispered, hoping that everything you heard was just a dream.
Please, God, tell me itâs just a nightmare.
Jay got pale in seconds, looking at you with wide eyes and trying to think about something that could have helped you with that, that could have helped you feeling less worried about everything.
âYes, they⌠they did.â He whispered, gulping.
You looked at him and cried, looking up at the ceiling. When he noticed how broken you looked, he squeezed your hand gently and he tried to reassure you.
âItâs all my fault, itâs my fault. Now we wonât be able to have a family together and itâs all my fault.â You cried harder, ignoring the pain that you felt when you sobbed. The stitches didnât help you with that and it made the pain worse, but it didnât hurt as much as the news about your ovaries.
âBabe, no, no.â He took both your hands and he obliged you to look at him in the eyes, shaking his head and looking at you, concerned. âItâs not your fault and weâll have a family together, okay? Itâs just one of the ovaries, it will be difficult to get you pregnant but weâll do it, okay? Weâll have a family and, if we wonât we can still adopt.â
He was right, but you were too shocked to hear him; all you thought was how bad Jay wanted a family, you knew that the moment he asked you to be his wife and you knew that he always dreamed about being a dad. How could you deny him that dream?
âMaybe we should divorce.â You whispered, without fully thinking straight. âYou always dream of having a family and you canât with me. You know how many times we tried and i didnât get pregnant; with only one ovary will be extremely difficult. You deserve a woman that can give you your own children, not someone like meâŚâ
Jay shook his head, astounded. He couldnât believe his ears, he could believe what you just said . Were you serious? How could you even think about that?
âWhat?! No!â He exclaimed, tightening your hand. âLook at me, babe. I do not care about having my own children, i just want a family WITH YOU. It wonât be the same with someone else, theyâll not be you and i only want to become a dad with you, my love. Besides, Will told that you still can become a mother, weâll just have to rely on some specialist, maybe, that can help us with that, but weâll have our baby, okay? You donât have to be worried, weâll be parents, i promise you that.â
You listened to him carefully and, slowly, you started to feel better. He was always able to help you calm down when you were panicking, and it was one of those moments. He was so sweet and calm with you, even when you said things like that, like a divorce.
Probably you would have panicked on his side, thatâs why you thought that having Jay by your side as your husband was the best thing in your life.
He didnât want to give up on having a family with you and you shouldnât have too.
âOkay.â You whispered, nodding slowly. âIâm sorry Jay, i love you and I shouldnât have said that.â
He sighed deeply, then he lowered down on your bed and placed a kiss on your forehead, stroking your hair gently. âDonât worry babe, i know that you didnât expect it and i can understand why you reacted this way, but you donât have to give up on our family because I wonât. I love you so much, babe and weâll be parents together.â
You nodded and relaxed, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths.
He was right.
âI love you too, Jay, i really do.â You whispered back, squeezing his hand in yours and smiling softly. âAnd I canât wait to become a mother with you.â
âYouâll be the best mom in the world.â He smiled again. âAnd I canât wait to see you with a belly, my love. Youâll be amazing, you already are after all.â
You blushed and chuckled, hiding your face behind your hand.
âHave the doctor said when weâll be able to try again with the pregnancy?â You asked, after some minutes.
âNot yet baby, but you have to heal before that. When youâll be fine, weâll try again and trust me, i canât wait.â
âJay!â You chuckled, shaking your head slightly. You smiled at him and you bit your bottom lip. âYouâre incredible, but i love you so much.â
This was the requested part 2 of Sensatory OverloadÂ
You hear the door open, but the automatic lights are turned off, so the room stays relatively dark. You are sitting on the floor, arms resting on your knees, back pressed against the cool wall. You know who it is before he even says your name. There is only one person who would think to look for you here. And it was only because you had dragged him to help calm him down a month prior. Â
 You didnât hear him walk into the room after the door closed but you did feel the heat from his body as he came to stand in front of you. âThat was a rough one.â His voice was soft as he knelt in front of you. He sounded as emotionally drained as you felt. You could just make out his shape in the darkness and see his hand only a moment before it touched your skin. His hand was warm as it cupped your jaw. His thumb stroked your cheekbone, his fingertips curving gently around your head and into the hair at the nape of your neck.Â
You hum your agreement as you try not to lean into his touch. You hadnât spoken much since the kiss. All of it had been work-related. You found yourself wondering if you had made the whole encounter up. But you could still feel the heat of it on your lips. The slight brush of his stubble as he kisses you. You couldnât make up the sensations that had lingered long after the kiss had ended. Maybe he regretted kissing you. And that was why he had been so distant. âYou donât have to do that.â You whisper back.Â
âDo what?â His thumb catches a stray lock of hair as it continues brushing your cheek and uses his finger to tuck it behind your ear. âCheck on you? I just want to make sure you are okay.â The silence is just a second or two too long and you can tell he catches the change in the air even as you answer.Â
âIâm okay. Just needed a minute.â You lean your head back against the wall and away from his palm. You immediately miss the warmth and feel your thoughts start to spiral. His hand drops and he sits next to you. Â
âIs this about that kiss?â His words are blunt and to the point in a very Jay fashion. The abruptness makes the air get stuck in your chest. Did he really have to bring it up? For what purpose? You both could have just ignored the fact that it had ever happened. You start talking to try to defuse the situation.Â
âItâs completely normal to do rash things when you're coming down from adrenaline like that. Things you wouldnât normally think of doing. No harm, no foul. What happens behind closed doors and all that right?â You wished that you hadnât said anything. You felt pathetic and hoped that you hadnât made the situation worse by offending him by implying that kissing him wouldnât be out of the realm of normal. After all, you couldnât think of a single person who wouldnât jump at the chance to kiss Jay Halstead. But the two of you kissing? That wasnât something that should ever be considered normal. Â
âIs that your way of telling me to back off?â You turn to look at him, or the best you can in the dark. It was a strange way to phrase that.Â
âIâm just saying... In high-tension situations... You should be held to the actions you take.â You wince and continue blabbering on, âI mean you punched Adam. That is pretty-âÂ
âAre you comparing our kiss to me punching Ruzek?â There is disbelief and maybe a touch of frustration in his tone.Â
âWell not exactly-âÂ
âBecause those situations were different. I was in a completely different headspace, thanks to you, during that kiss. And quite frankly I think Ruzek deserved that. He gets too cocky and needs to be knocked down a few pegs here and there.â You can hear the change in his tone. âSo, if you are regretting that kiss-.âÂ
âThatâs not what Iâm saying.â It is the only thing that you can get out of your mouth. Then there is another pause that is just a little too long. You hear Jay mutter something that sounds like fuck it before a hand is on your cheek pulling you into a rough open-mouthed kiss. Your gasp turns into a moan. His hand grips your hip and yanks you to straddle his lap. You feel the gun on his hip dig into your left thigh. You shift sitting more firmly in his lap. You pull back from the kiss to catch your breath. Your lips barely graze each other with each breath. Â
âSometimes you make no sense to me.â He whispered against your lips. You breathed out a laugh, leaning in to steal another kiss. You feel bold by his touch. His hands moved from your hips down to the back of your thighs before trailing back up to your ass and squeezing firmly. You hadnât touched Jay during your first kiss. Not really.Â
You donât waste this opportunity. You let your hands wander as you kiss him, touching all the places you had only ever dreamed about. You stroke up his biceps, shoulders, and down his back. You feel the lean muscles ripple under your fingertips. Â
A loud ringing makes you jump back. You sigh and pull your phone out of your jacket pocket. A text from your boss demands your return. You look at Jay, his face illuminated by your phone. âTo be continued.â You lean forward to peck one more kiss on his lips before you regretfully get back to your feet.   Â
 @sdddoobydoobydoo you said you wanted to be tagged.
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Content warning: flashing lights, fighting
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