Auden: If we lose, you’re out of the will. James: I was in the will?

Carrie: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Carlos: I boiled gatorade.

Delia: Team A will consist of myself, Auden and Carrie. Delia: Team B will consist of Bethany.

Carrie: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Delia: Bethany.

Carrie: Bethany- Bethany: *sighs* James used to call me Bethany... Carrie: ...Because it's your fucking name.

Bethany: I’m sad. Carrie: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. Carrie: And das not good.

Logan: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Auden, are a fucking cactus.

Carlos: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Bethany: You are my reward. *meanwhile* James: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Delia: True, you can be really difficult at times.

Bethany: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Delia: Unless you're home alone.

Delia: I hate you. James: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Carrie: So, Auden is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Delia: Why? Carrie: Because I've caught her trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. Auden, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

Delia: Well Kendall, I have to say, I'm really disappointed. Kendall: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it.

Delia: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Auden: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Delia: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! James: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

Carlos, holding a toy lightsaber: I’m Darth Vader! Delia: I’m done with everyone’s bullshit.

Kendall, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast. Auden: You're kinda ugly.

Bethany: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Carlos: I thought the animals might be lonely.

Carrie: Can you keep a secret? Delia: Do you know anything about my life? Carrie: No, I don't. Good point.