me, age 14: i’m fucked up and evil and no one understands me 

me, age 16: i am just a normal teenager you can be friends with

me now: fucked up and evil again 

sometimes you have to pretend your kitchen is a club dance floor and get a little whorish while cooking your frozen pizza. it’s called living deliciously in a pandemic

crying at this family portrait posted by nick jr

Flop across that year-end finish line, little corg! You represent us all. My website – My Instagram - My store

I love the lowkey implication in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (especially in the Gene Wilder movie) that Willy Wonka was minding his own business one day and he just saw this skinny looking kid staring up at his factory, licking his lips, and he was just like, “Shit, that kid needs some chocolate, but he’s clearly too poor to afford any and there’s no way I can run outside right now and reveal my existence to the world, right? Damn. Okay. I can send an Oompa Loompa. No, that’ll scare the kid. What candy does he even like anyway? What if I give him the wrong one? All right, we need to get this kid into the factory so that he can pick his favorite treat. But what happens when he leaves? Shit, shit, shit, okay, we’ll just give him the factory. Give him the whole factory. That’s the only way. But how? Come on, Wonka, be inconspicuous here. I’ve got it. A nationwide contest inviting multiple kids into the factory where I’ll reveal that the winner gets the factory. Crap, no, then there will be four other kids in the factory. Okay, no problem, we’ll just kill them all until he’s the only one left. Yeeeah, that’s a good plan. Okay, everyone, places. We’ve got literally one shot at this.”

Came home early

Maskless Ghostface anyone? 

if thomas nook put a barrier around the island to prevent you from swimming too far how the fuck do whale sharks get in

“Cartoons? Isn’t that for kids?” I look up and smile “ Yes it is” Suddenly my appearance shifts and shrinks as I become a child. All my money turns to monopoly money and all my bills are gone. My adult responsibilities vanish, finally the spell is broken, and I am free.

Older Ben, Davey, and Harper would dress up as

Micheal Myers

Pyramid Head

And

Driller Killer/Demogorgon

The Minneapolis police are back to publicly being terrorists now that George Floyd’s death is out of the media cycle.

Directly from the article:

Bayle Adod Gelle was deep in sleep late Wednesday night at his home in Eden Prairie when he heard loud banging on the door.

The intensity of the sound at 2:15 a.m. left Bayle confused. He trudged down the stairs from his second-floor bedroom. As soon as he reached the living room, he found his wife there—surrounded by more than a dozen officers from the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office. The officers allegedly pointed their guns at him and his wife, Bayle said, and then tied their hands tightly with a cord.

Awakened by the bangs and commotion, three children—ages 4, 7, and 9— joined their parents in the living room. Officers allegedly pointed guns at them, too, Bayle said.

“I felt very scared,” Bayle said in an interview with Sahan Journal at his home Thursday evening, some 14 hours after the police raid. “I thought they were going to kill us.”

The police search felt like it took forever—maybe two hours, he said. Bayle kept asking the officers who they were and why they’d come to his house. (In the end, the police appear to have found nothing, and took no evidence with them, Bayle said.)

They told him “shut up,” he recalled.

Bayle said the officers ransacked the house and never showed him a search warrant— until the end. That’s when they told him his son had been killed.

Bayle said that until that moment, he had no idea that nearly 8 hours earlier Minneapolis Police officers had fatally shot his 23-year-old son, Dolal Bayle Idd, in an altercation at a Holiday gas station in south Minneapolis. It was the first police killing in Minneapolis since Officer Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd about a dozen blocks away.

Here’s the full article

they had to move out of their house on new year’s eve to a nearby mosque.

please share, I haven’t seen anyone talking about this

x

michael myers survivor AU but he acts exactly the same as usual