The mysterious Golden Bullet

Or a take on Aziraphale and Crowley’s Wild West Era

And to this day…

I found a piece of fanfic in my WhatsApp note conv and became obsessed with finding the fic it was from. If a passage or quote really scratches the itch I would put it in my notes you know? And this snippet was so good I wanted to reread the fic.

So, I go on a rampage searching for it, checking every fics of that fandom in my AO3 history around the date I put it in my notes.

I found Nothing this way, so I began checking tags. It's a fairly small fandom. I've checked half of the fics at this point.

That's when it came to me that it was possible I wrote that snippet and just did not remember writing it.

There were signs it was the case. The weird summary/prompt at the beginning of the note, the character having a body language I tend to write, and fairly bad dialogue.

On the other hand, it's from a fandom I never wrote for before and it's better than my normal writing. Maybe I didn't write this you know? And I would love it to be an actual fic.

You cannot believe how much this Schrodinger did I write this or not? situation messed with my mind. Like seriously I was struggling falling asleep.

David Tennant came to the Olivier Awards in his sparkling suit with his gorgeous hair and charming smile, slayed and left.

What's the most niche thing you wrote for yourself?

everything comes to an end

lansia viva

I need Michael Sheen Doctor and David Tennant Master more.

I need Michael Sheen Master & David Tennant Doctor. Need.

Find the difference 🤔

My roman empire is that meme of Tarkovsky saying: 'Poetic cinema' while looking awe-struck, and that ppl use it thinking he means like "when a movie is really good", but he's actually talking about a specific film movement - Ukrainian Poetic Cinema - which influenced his work a tone, and a Ukrainian film director - Oleksandr Dovzhenko who was on the forefront of this movement in the 1920s - 1930s, and you can find also find the influence of the artistic continuation of the Ukrainian Poetic Cinema in the 1960s in his works, and he stanned Parajanov, and still the Western academia erases that influence, pushes the Ukrainian Poetic Cinema of the 1960s into the same box of the Soviet New Wave, even though this is a very distinct artistic movement with a unique visual grammar that you don't find in the russian New Wave, because the lens through which the cinema is viewed is still deeply colonialist

"But, well...I would always know the stain was there. Underneath, I mean."

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

Propaganda on Tumblr being like "library are awesome we should all subscribe to one".

And I'm like hell Yeah I'm not immune to propaganda. Radicalise me about librairies Tumblr.

You know the "We're an angel and a demon." , line? How much self-hate Crowley must feel knowing his nature is the problem in their relationship? He is the problem, literraly.

help my friends are threatening me for making them cry